Work Text:
Wei Wuxian finished his morning checkout rounds and morning rounds early leaving him with a little time before his colectomy in the O.R. “Ugh, look at him,” Wei Wuxian heard one of his coworkers, Mianmian, say. He looked in the direction she was looking to see their Chief of Surgery, Lan Wangji.
“Mianmian, I thought you were lesbian.” Wei Wuxian pouted as he walked up to her, stuffing his hands in the pockets to his lab coat.
Mianmian looked at him. “Why do you think that?”
“Well I offered a no strings attached hookup when we were interns and you told me that dicks are gross,” Wei Wuxian explained. Wen Qing snorted from where she stood on Mianmian’s other side.
“They are! Anyway, just because I prefer to eat out a woman doesn’t mean I can’t admire how hot our chief is.” Mianmian hummed happily.
“Don’t admire him too much.” Wen Qing narrowed her eyes at Mianmian who only chuckled as she said, “Oh, please. You were just talking about how nice his ass looked.”
“It is a nice ass,” Wei Wuxian said with a dreamy sigh. He turned to Wen Qing and Mianmian. “So how long have you been dating?”
“Who told you,” Wen Qing asked, surprised.
“Nie-Xiong. Apparently he knows every couple in the hospital but I doubt that. Plus, using the storage rooms is so old school and everyone can hear you.” Wei Wuxian laughed.
“I personally didn’t want to hear about how good she was giving it to you, Jiejie.” Wen Ning stood beside Wei Wuxian, sighing.
“Well if you were doing your job then you wouldn’t have to hear us.” Wen Qing rolled her eyes.
“I needed to get more gauze,” Jiang Wanyin said as he walked up to them.
“Aiya! Enough talk about this. Back to Lan Zhan. The love of my life.” Wei Wuxian smiled, watching Lan Wangji talk to another doctor.
“He hates you,” Wen Qing scoffed.
Wei Wuxian scrunched his nose. “That’s irrelevant. All I can think about is how good Lan Wangji’s lips look when they move. I want to feel them move on mine.”
“And that hair,” Mianmian added.
“So silky and smooth and long.” Wen Ning nodded.
“The waviness of it though.” Wen Qing smiled.
“He truly is the most beautiful man in China.” Mianmian pouted.
“In the world. Who could compare to Lan Zhan’s beauty.” Wei Wuxian rested his chin in his hand.
“Lan Huan is hotter,” Jiang Wanyin mumbled.
Just then, Lan Wangji turned towards the group of people who all immediately grabbed something from the counter they were standing at, pretending to be working. Wei Wuxian had nothing to pick up so he turned to the nurse sitting behind the counter.
“Ah, Shuang-jie, you look so beautiful today, is that a new lip gloss,” he asked, smiling at her. She blushed and nodded, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. Lan Wangji glared at Wei Wuxian and walked over to everyone at the counter.
“Do not stand around. Doctor Wei, I am putting you on scut duty since you think flirting would be a better use of your time than doing your job. Someone else will take your surgery.”
Wei Wuxian stared in disbelief, “Lan Zhan!”
“Scut.” Lan Wangji crossed his arms. Everyone at the counter discreetly looked at his biceps through his lab coat.
“But that’s for the interns. I’m the Head of General Surgery!” Wei Wuxian stomped his feet, waving his arms around. Lan Wangji backed Wei Wuxian up against the counter and took his pen from his lab coat along with a sticky note from the counter. He wrote something on it and stuck the note on Wei Wuxian’s forehead. The note read ‘粗活’
“Scut,” Lan Wangji repeated, raising his brow slightly as if daring Wei Wuxian to challenge him. Wei Wuxian scoffed and pushed away from Lan Wangji, snatching off the sticky note and leaving.
“Get to work or you may join Doctor Wei,” Lan Wangji said to the other doctors before leaving.
“Yikes,” Mianmian muttered as they all went their separate ways.
…
At the end of the day, when everyone was getting their bags to go home, Wei Wuxian waited until everyone was gone before he himself left, going to the daycare center to pick up Wei Yuan who came running the moment he saw him.
“Baba!” he cheered, holding his arms out. Wei Wuxian grinned as he picked up Wei Yuan, swinging him around.
“My little turnip, how was your day?” Wei Wuxian kissed his cheek.
“Good! Me and Jingyi and A-Ling made a new best friend. Can he come over to play some day?” Wei Yuan asked.
“Of course! When we have time, we can invite everyone over for a sleepover. Ready to go home?” Wei Wuxian asked.
“We have to get Papa first.” Wei Yuan shook his head.
“Papa was mean to me. Let’s go without him.” Wei Wuxian pouted.
“Baba,” Wei Yuan said scoldingly.
Wei Wuxian whined, “Fine! Making me feel guilty.” They walked to the elevator.
…
Wei Wuxian knocked on the door of the Chief’s office and waited. Lan Wangji opened the door for them and Wei Wuxian closed it behind them.
“A-Yuan says we can’t leave without picking you up so here we are,” Wei Wuxian said in a monotone voice.
“Mn? Come here, A-Yuan.” Lan Wangji held his arms out. Wei Yuan went into his Papa’s arms, giving him a hug. Wei Wuxian stood by the door.
“You come here as well.” Lan Wangji held Wei Yuan with one arm, holding his other one out.
Wei Wuxian shook his head. “No. Can we leave now?”
Lan Wangji sighed. “Why are you upset with me?”
Wei Wuxian huffed. “You embarrassed me in front of everyone.”
“You flirted with a woman,” Lan Wangji retorted.
Wei Wuxian lowered his head. “I didn’t want to get caught staring at you but I guess having you see me compliment some nurse isn’t any better.. You didn’t have to put me on scut though. Everyone thinks you hate me, you know. Do you really hate your own partner, Lan Zhan?”
Lan Wangji lightly set their son down before moving over to Wei Wuxian, wrapping his arms around his neck. “I do not hate you. I was being petty, no more scut. My apologies.”
“No sorries!” Wei Yuan spoke up.
Wei Wuxian nodded. “No sorries.”
“Mn.” Lan Wangji let Wei Yuan hug his leg and he smiled down at him.
“Lan Zhan, look at how somber it is in here. Take responsibility.” Wei Wuxian pouted at him, wrapping his arms around his waist.
“You started it. You must also take responsibility,” Lan Wangji insisted. “Oh, I will.” Wei Wuxian winked with a grin.
“Mn? How?” Lan Wangji asked, licking his lips. Wei Wuxian bit his own, “Maybe we can bring out our toys-.” “Can we get McDonald’s for dinner?” Wei Yuan interrupted.
“Yes,” Lan Wangji nodded.
“No! That’s unhealthy. Lan Zhan, don’t spoil him. A-Yuan, we’ll eat something else,” Wei Wuxian said to his son.
“Just for today, he may have McDonald’s.” Lan Wangji picked Wei Yuan back up. “We are surgeons, Lan Zhan. Surgeons! You only want to get him McDonald’s because you want some too. I’m saying no.” Wei Wuxian crossed his arms.
“Please, Baba? Can you spoil us just for today?” Wei Yuan pouted. Lan Wangji joined him. “Spoil us, Baba.”
Wei Wuxian scoffed at them. “Don’t I always spoil you two? Fine! Baba will spoil you just for tonight. Let’s go to the car so I can go buy you both some unhealthy food that doesn’t ever mold.”
“Yay!”
…
The next day, miraculously, all of Wei Wuxian’s surgeries got rescheduled for various reasons. After doing all of his work early, only having to wait for his meetings with patients which weren’t for hours, he made his way to the cafeteria to get brunch. With a coffee in one hand, youtiao in a bag in his other hand, he skipped to the table where his friends sat and began to eat.
“Wei-Xiong, I saw you go into Chief Lan’s office yesterday with a kid! What was that about,” Nie Huaisang asked curiously. Everyone at the table turned to Wei Wuxian.
“Nothing interesting. Where is Lan Zhan anyway?” Wei Wuxian dismissed the question. “Over there. Didn’t he tell you that you can’t call him that?” Mianmian asked, sipping her coffee.
“I’ll call him whatever I want,” Wei Wuxian muttered as he looked at Lan Wangji who was sitting at a table alone, eating an apple.
“Listen closely.” Wei Wuxian got up from the table with his coffee and youtiao, sitting right next to Lan Wangji.
“Lan Zhan, how was your morning,” he asked, biting his youtiao. “It was fine, thank you,” Lan Wangji replied. “That’s great, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian put a hand on his thigh and patted it.
Lan Wangji narrowed his eyes. “Wei Ying, go back to your table so I may finish my apple.” “Just finish it now.” Wei Wuxian shrugged. “Talking is forbidden while eating. Go away,” Lan Wangji muttered.
“Lan Zhan! I want to spend time with you though.” Wei Wuxian pouted. Lan Wangji’s lips turned up just barely, just enough for Wei Wuxian to see. “Go wait in my office. You can accompany me while I do paperwork.”
Wei Wuxian grinned and nodded, “Okay!” “You and A-Yuan have the same smile. It’s beautiful,” Lan Wangji murmured. Wei Wuxian smiled even brighter and got up, strolling out of the cafeteria with his coffee and youtiao, not before winking at his friends who looked at him in disbelief.
…
“Wei Ying, I said you could accompany me, not distract me,” Lan Wangji said, signing signatures while Wei Wuxian kissed his neck. “But that’s boring. I want to taste you.” Wei Wuxian licked and sucked at his throat.
“I am making important budget cuts right now, husband, please stop being horny for five minutes.”
Lan Wangji got bit as a response.
“Call me husband again, I love that.” Wei Wuxian sucked a hickey onto Lan Wangji’s neck.
“Husband,” Lan Wangji said indulgently, “Let me finish this and perhaps we can do something about your insatiable self.”
Wei Wuxian pulled a chair up to sit next to Lan Wangji. “You know, Lan Zhan, we should have an unofficial wedding ceremony or something. We can’t get married legally but I want to put a ring on your finger.”
“Aren’t you hiding our relationship?” Lan Wangji asked, amused. He continued working while Wei Wuxian came up with an answer. “It’s just funny to see people confused, that’s all. And it’s not like I’m really trying that hard anyway. If people put in some more effort, surely they’d realize I’m dating the great Chief of Surgery.” Wei Wuxian hooked his head on Lan Wangji’s shoulder.
“When we are free, we can go shop for rings.” Lan Wangji kissed his forehead. “Aieesh, you didn’t even propose to me,” Wei Wuxian said in fake offense. “You can propose to me instead. I’ll wait.” Lan Wangji shuffled through his papers. “Okay. I’ll do it,” Wei Wuxian murmured.
Lan Wangji hummed softly and put away his paperwork. “Wei Ying, when you and the other doctors talk about me, don’t you get jealous?” he asked, moving from his chair to Wei Wuxian’s, sitting sideways on his lap. He wrapped his arms around his neck while Wei Wuxian held his waist.
“Of course not. They can talk as much as they want but in the end, who is it that goes home with you? Who is it that sleeps in your bed?” Wei Wuxian got close to Lan Wangji’s ear and whispered, “Who is it that fucks you until you can’t walk anymore? Who is it that spreads his legs for you to be taken, rough and dirty just the way you like it?”
Lan Wangji swallowed thickly. “You. All you.” “And does anyone else get to do those things?” Wei Wuxian asked. Lan Wangji shook his head. “Only you, Wei Ying.”
“Then why would I be jealous? I feel prideful that so many people admire you so much. My husband is such a snack.” Wei Wuxian nipped at his neck playfully.
“Eat me then.” Lan Wangji turned his head so he could meet Wei Wuxian’s lips with his own. “Gladly,” Wei Wuxian said roughly.
…
Lan Wangji picked up Wei Yuan the next day as Wei Wuxian had to work a double shift. “Papa! Papa!” Wei Yuan ran over to him and hugged his legs. Lan Wangji picked him up. “Don’t run. You could hurt yourself, little one.”
As Lan Wangji took him away, doctors nearby watched in curiosity and confusion. “Didn’t that kid call Doctor Wei his dad the other day? Why is he calling Chief Lan his dad now?” A nurse asked a nearby doctor who shrugged in response.
The confusion spread like wildfire and suddenly, everyone was dying to know what was going on. The next day, a brave intern asked Lan Wangji about the situation while he was writing the schedule for surgeries on the board in one of the halls.
“Chief Lan, could I ask why there’s a kid calling both you and Doctor Wei his dad?” Lan Wangji capped the marker he was using once he finished and set it down before walking straight past the intern without glancing at him, glaring at everyone else until they got back to work.
…
Wei Wuxian was eating lunch with Wei Yuan, feeding him carrots. “Is it good?” Wei Wuxian asked as he watched his son crunch loudly on his vegetables. “It’s tasty,” Wei Yuan replied, feeding Wei Wuxian a carrot.
As Wei Wuxian chewed, he felt himself being looked at. Curious, he looked up. Most of the cafeteria was looking at him. Puzzled, Wei Wuxian looked back down, holding Wei Yuan closer to himself protectively. “Sweetheart, how about we go eat with Papa?”
“No, Shushu is here.” Wei Yuan pointed to Jiang Wanyin who came over to their table with the rest of Wei Wuxian’s friends.
“Hey. Why is everyone staring at me?” Wei Wuxian asked the table.
“People saw you picking up the kid one day and watched Lan Wangji do it the next. They heard him call both of you dad. Can you clear the air please? I’m sick of being asked about what’s going on,” Jiang Wanyin, the only one who knew about Wei Wuxian’s relationship with Lan Wangji in the hospital, grimaced.
“What is going on?” Nie Huaisang asked.
Wei Wuxian sighed. “Ah, A-Yuan here just calls everyone dad or mom, you know? I don’t know why. But this is my child.”
“Your child,” Mianmian repeated. Wei Wuxian nodded.
“When the fuck did you get a kid?” Wen Qing chuckled. “There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.” Wei Wuxian winked.
“But why was Chief Lan picking him up?” Wen Ning asked. “Because I was working a double shift and Lan Wangji has a nephew that comes over to his house often and his nephew is A-Yuan’s best friend so I just let him go there when I work late.” Wei Wuxian fed his son another carrot.
“You’re sick,” Jiang Wanyin muttered. Wei Wuxian laughed and didn’t disagree.
“Mm, suspicious! I’ve never heard him call anyone else his mother or father.” Nie Huaisang bit into his salad with squinty eyes. “Mama,” Wei Yuan said to Nie Huaisang. The table erupted into laughter. “Hey!” Nie Huaisang pouted.
Wei Yuan giggled and looked up to see Lan Wangji coming their way. “Papa! Papa!” He said excitedly. Lan Wangji opened his arms and Wei Yuan jumped in them.
“Lan Zhan, come here and eat these carrots, I don’t want them,” Wei Wuxian shook his bowl of carrots. Lan Wangji sat down beside Wei Wuxian and opened his mouth a little. Wei Wuxian cheesed and fed him one of the baby carrots.
“What the hell?” Mianmian blinked.
“You’re drawing attention,” Lan Wangji said quietly. Wei Wuxian laughed a little like a gremlin and whispered, “Confusing people is really fun, Lan Zhan. You should join me.” “A tempting offer but I will not help you with your antics.” Lan Wangji ate another carrot before standing up.
“Leaving so soon?” Wei Wuxian pouted. Lan Wangji nodded. “I have surgery soon, I only came to see you and take A-Yuan back to the daycare.” Wei Wuxian nodded and winked. “Okay. I’ll see you later, good looking.”
Lan Wangji rolled his eyes while Wei Yuan giggled. “I’ll see you later, Wei Ying. Quit flirting, it’s unprofessional.”
Wei Wuxian laughed loudly. “Unprofessional? When have I ever cared about being professional?”
“You’ll care if you wish to keep your job. Quit flirting with your superior,” Lan Wangji muttered. Wei Wuxian grinned. “Sir, yes sir.”
Lan Wangji’s lips curled upward and he turned his head to look at Wei Yuan. “Say goodbye to Baba.” Wei Yuan waved. “Bye, Baba, see you later.” “See you later, A-Yuan.” Wei Wuxian stood and kissed his cheek.
“I’ll be expecting my kiss later,” Lan Wangji said quietly enough so that only his partner could hear. “Yes, Chief Lan, don’t worry. Go on, go on.” Wei Wuxian pushed them away. Lan Wangji walked off with their son and Wei Wuxian sat down.
“That was oddly flirty.” Wen Qing wiggled her eyebrows. “And very suspicious.” Nie Huaisang squinted his eyes again, shaking his head. “Is it suspicious? Ahaha. Welp! I have an esophagectomy, byee.” Wei Wuxian handed his baby carrots to his brother before hopping out of the cafeteria, ignoring everyone’s stares.
…
The next day, Wei Yuan ate lunch with his dads and they sat together in Lan Wangji’s office. Wei Wuxian was discussing a patient with his partner when his eyes widened suddenly. “What is it?” Lan Wangji asked when Wei Wuxian stopped talking abruptly.
Wei Wuxian didn’t say anything but moved closer to Lan Wangji and plucked a hair out of his head, holding it in front of his hair. “Baby, you got your first grey hair,” Wei Wuxian cooed, showing Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji’s eyes widened minutely and he looked away with a faint blush.
“Lan Zhan this is so not fair, I wanted to get mine first! A-Yuan, look at Papa’s grey hair,” Wei Wuxian showed Wei Yuan who was stuffing his mouth with carrots, trying to figure out how many he could fit in his mouth at once.
“Papa’s getting old,” he said around his mouthful of food which he was immediately scolded for by his Papa. Wei Wuxian on the other hand was cackling. “He is getting old, isn’t he?”
Wei Yuan nodded in affirmation. Lan Wangji sulkily looked down at his food. “Aiyo don’t feel bad, Lan Zhan. You’re getting grey hairs and it only makes you look more sexy,” Wei Wuxian kissed his chin.
“No bad words, Baba,” Wei Yuan scolded. Wei Wuxian patted his mouth, “Baba’s sorry.” “No sorries,” Wei Yuan scolded again. “Baba’s fault.” Wei Wuxian grinned.
“Yep! Baba has a grey hair too!” Wei Yuan pointed and Lan Wangji lit up, turning Wei Wuxian’s head towards him to see. He gasped softly and plucked a grey hair from his head, lips curving into a satisfied smirk.
“How do I have grey hairs!? I’m too young and sexy!” Wei Wuxian shouted. Lan Wangji actually chuckled and Wei Yuan laughed loudly, crunching on his carrots.
…
On Friday, Wei Wuxian ate in the cafeteria again with Lan Wangji beside him and Wei Yuan in his lap. All of Wei Wuxian’s friends sat at the table too, eyeing the three of them skeptically.
“Baba and Papa should get married soon before all of your hair turns grey!” Wei Yuan said, accepting the bun Lan Wangji fed to him.
“Married? Why would they get married, don’t you know how much Chief Lan hates your Baba?” Nie Huaisang asked. Jiang Wanyin slapped the back of his head.
“No no. Papa loves Baba. Baba loves Papa. We’re a family,” Wei Yuan said firmly, looking at Lan Wangji for assurance. “Yes, we are,” he said without hesitation, earning a bright smile from Wei Wuxian and more confused looks from their co-workers.
“What?” Mianmian asked.
“Lan Zhan, you’ve ruined my fun.” Wei Wuxian pouted, though his smile could still be seen. He was not the least bit upset. “Our son knowing that his fathers love each other is more important than you tricking every person in this hospital, my love,” Lan Wangji said, pinching Wei Wuxian’s cheek.
“You two..?” Wen Qing squinted and pointed at them.
“For fucks sake, they’re basically married,” Jiang Wanyin blurted, rolling his eyes. “Shushu! No bad words!” Wei Yuan squeaked. “Yes yes, shushu is sorry,” Jiang Wanyin said, offering his nephew a smile.
“This has to be a prank,” Mianmian chuckled, shaking her head.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji called quietly when he heard Mianmian’s words. Wei Wuxian turned to him and was met with a pair of soft lips on his. He smiled and reacted naturally, kissing him back.
“Baba and Papa are kissing!” Wei Yuan squealed and hid behind his hands while everyone in the cafeteria stared at them in shock.
“Marry me,” Wei Wuxian said, smiling. Lan Wangji breathed a laugh against his lips and nodded. “Alright. Let’s get married.”