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They were all in position, the bust was well planned and going down without a hitch. Then, for what seemed like no reason, Kilen hit Jay in the side of the head with something. No one even saw it coming. One second Jay was standing there with his CI and members from both crews, the next he was laying unconscious on the ground. Both crews scattered as Jay lay there on his side, his bottom arm partially behind him, tilting him forward so his face hovered inches from the dirt, his other arm bent and laying limply beside him.
They went in immediately, but with the gun battle no one could get to him. He lay there while the buyers and sellers dropped like flies, but still refused to give up. Jay never moved. All of them, while still in the fight, couldn’t help occasionally flicking their eyes to Jay, and still he didn’t move. They had no idea if he was dead or alive.
It was Kevin who saw it, his eyes on Jay the moment it happened. Jay was still and then suddenly, as if by an invisible force, was flung violently onto his back. The invisible force a bullet.
“JAY!”
Kevin had gotten close enough to get him, risk to himself be damned. The gun fight was slowing down but bullets were still flying. Making a mad dash to where he lay, and grabbing the closest thing to him, Kevin grabbed Jay’s pant leg. He got a good hold and dragged him the ten feet to cover, Jay’s arms trailing behind him, a muddy trail of blood marking their way. By the time they got to cover, Jay’s pants were sitting low on his hips and his shirt was pushed up to his armpits from being dragged, revealing his bloody torso. Kevin took the time to place his hand on Jay’s neck, desperate for a pulse while still sending bullets out to find a home so they could stop this and see to their friend.
“KEVIN!”
He knew the question Hailey was asking with that one panicked word.
“He’s got a pulse.”
He kept one hand on Jay while the other continued to fire. Part of him begging Jay to come to, the other part, wanting him to stay unconscious just a couple more minutes. He didn’t want Jay to wake and move, making it easier for another bullet to find him.
Less than a minute later the last person gave up. Hailey left it to Adam, Kim, and the Uni’s to clear the rest of the scene, while Voight screamed into the radio for an ambulance. She had to get to Jay.
She skidded to her knees beside him. Kevin releasing him to her care while he covered their position incase of stragglers.
“Jay! JAY!”
Her hands search for the bullet wound through all the blood, too much blood, not bothering with his head yet, she could see plainly where Kilen had hit him. The left side of his head was bleeding, head wounds bled a lot, evidenced by the steady trickle flowing to the ground and the dried trails of blood on his face from when he lay on his side. It was bad but putting pressure on it would have to wait a minute.
She found the wound on the left side of his abdomen.
“Kevin!”
He holstered his gun and helped turn Jay slightly on his side, road rash from being dragged but no exit wound.
“Shit.”
Kevin ripped Jay’s shirt open, the two of them working in tandem as Hailey frantically felt the rest of his bloody chest and abdomen looking for more wounds while Kev put pressure on the one they had found.
Luckily, given that he was unable to wear a vest, there was only an additional graze, a 4 inch bloody and burnt trail just under his belly button.
She sat back on her heels for a nanosecond and an ounce of trepidation melted away, but that was it, since Jay refused to rouse even with her begging. Not even the increased pressure Kevin put on the bullet wound woke him and if anything could, it was the pain of pressure on a gaping wound. Nothing, no movement, so that ounce of trepidation she lost came back and brought a gallon of fear with it.
Her heartbeat was the tightening and loosening of a vice, but before she could panic herself into a frenzy, 51 was there. She stood aside with Kevin, their hands bloody, Kevin’s dripping. Kevin was sporting a cut to his cheek but he could be bothered with it, his focus was on Jay.
The rest of Intelligence joined them, all watching as Sylvie and her partner worked on Jay. They poked and prodded, IV’d and bandaged, flopping him around like a wet rag. She wanted to yell at them. Tell them to treat him like a fucking human, but the desperate part of her knew that they were, they were just treating him with the cold detachment necessary to save his life. After all, Jay was their friend too and they couldn’t let their emotions dictate their actions. They needed their medical knowledge to take the wheel and that’s what they did.
Together, they got Jay on a backboard, a gurney and into the ambulance alive. Now they just needed to get him to med in the same condition.
She found herself in the back of the ambulance, talking to Jay about nothing while she ran one hand through his bloody hair, and holding a pressure bandage to his head with the other. Silently begging him to live while telling him out loud he was going to be okay.
They arrived at Med and once again, Jay was treated with that same detachment as he was flopped onto a gurney in a treatment room, arms hanging loosely by his side, to be ignored until they were needed for more IV’s.
She watched as shoes and clothes hit the floor, her partner’s naked torso and legs bathed in blood.
She wondered how they all remained detached, this was Jay. Then she noticed the bits of fear and desperation break through as they tried to keep him alive. She realized Will wasn’t there and that explained their ability to remain 90% professional. Once Will showed up, all bets would be off. Will’s professional capacity was, at most, 10% where his brother was concerned, and would bring the ‘professional' average of the room down.
They ran Jay out of the room and to the OR, that is, if she heard the destination correctly through her silent begging. Only a quick squeeze on her shoulder from Ethan as he ran by brought her to her senses, giving her a last look at Jay, his head tilted to the side, oxygen mask over his face, pressure bandage a beacon to his head injury, but he breathing. He was breathing.
She stood in the treatment room for God knows how long, waiting for her psyche to join her in reality. That’s where the whole of Intelligence found her, asking, no, demanding answers. All she could do was open and close her mouth as she searched for the words that would describe Jay’s condition.
She was saved from her fruitless word search, when Ethan walked back into the picture.
“We just took him up to OR to remove the bullet. Won’t be able to tell the damage until they get in there...”
“His head?”
All turned to Voight. It was a tone of Voice none of them heard before, fear.
“He’ll get a CT. We’ll know more then. Given that he never woke up we’re looking at a significant concussion at the very least.”
“Will?”
Ethan rubs his face as if trying to prepare for the tidal wave of emotion that would be rolling through the ER any minute.
“He’s on his way in.”
XXXXXXX
Voight waited in the ER to help Ethan tag team the information Will would demand. The rest of them, Hailey really, had the information she needed and left for the waiting room in a daze. Her mind telling her that the quicker she got up there, the quicker that Jay would come back to them.
Voight arrived in the waiting room 45 minutes later, alone.
“Where’s Will?”
“He went to the observation room of the surgical suite to watch.”
He cringed on that last part, doubting it was a good idea for one to watch their brother get operated on.
He preempted our worry about Will, “Ethan’s with him.”
They all ‘settled’ in for the wait. Kim and Adam went to get coffee for everyone. No one really wanted any. It was just a ploy to keep themselves busy while they waited; to distract themselves by doctoring hospital coffee to make it palatable. Somehow, the pain and anxiety that lurks in hospitals kills the flavor. Even the fact that the cafeteria, ‘proudly brewed Starbucks Coffee’ somehow didn’t matter. Hospitals sucked the essence out of pretty much everything, even caffeine.
Startled to find the blood there, Kevin left to wash his hands. Somehow forgetting that he was the one holding Jay’s life force in his body. He was in there for a long time. No one had told him that the blood won’t all come off. Even after the physical blood was washed down the drain in a pink swirl, the phantom of it lingered.
Voight brooded in the corner alone. Fear had expanded his personal bubble exponentially, keeping everyone out, even those closest to him, which would be, for the most part, Jay, and Jay, well…he was the reason for the bigger bubble in the first place.
She looked at her hands. Not yet able to wash off Jay’s blood. Jay’s blood. It was the grotesque link to him that would have to do until she finally got to his room and could touch him, hold his hand.
To wash it off somehow seemed like bad luck, like to do so would send him, not to a hospital room, but to that cold place hidden in the bowels of the hospital. A final destination to be avoided at all costs.
Three hours later they found themselves in the ICU, standing outside Jay’s room watching Will stroke his brothers hair.
When he finally noticed them, his red rimmed eyes and small smile held the bit of hope they all shared. It was looking good but Jay still wasn’t out of the woods. 24 hours would tell us more.
Adam, Kevin and Kim took a moment to encourage an unconscious Jay, then headed out to the waiting room to meet a worried Platt, who had promised to bring food to see them through the long slog of the coming hours.
She and Voight were on one side of the bed, Will on the other. Before he sat, Voight took a moment to look at his detective and pat his leg, then settled in towards the foot of the bed.
Hailey sat as close to the head of the bed as she could. Chair turned to Jay blocking out the rest of the room. She only sat for a moment before she was up, hovering over Jay, taking up the mantle of running her hand through his hair from Will. Even in the dimness of the room she could see that the left side of his face, from his forehead to just below his cheek, was a dark mix of blues and purples, the colors bleeding out from the pink tinged bandage covering the head wound that started this whole thing.
His face was peaceful. Even the cannula and the small cut that started below his lip, disappearing into the pale pinkness of it, didn’t take away from how peaceful he looked.
They had thrown a hospital gown over his chest and arms. Not bothering to put it on him since they would be taking it on and off to check his wound.
The leads to the heart monitor, peaking out of the gown, confirmed that Jay still lived, quiet blips rising above the white noise of the oxygen flow.
Each arm held an IV. On each side of the bed, IV poles, like sentry’s, held the fluid that would hopefully keep Jay alive and out of pain.
She put the siderail of the bed down, screw hospital policy, nothing would come between her and her partner. If he fell, she would catch him. She’s done it before. She would always be there to catch him.
His arm lay limply beside him, palm tilted up. She had finally washed her hands so she placed her palm on his and lightly stroked his thumb with hers. She wouldn’t break that contact. She had told herself that she wouldn’t wash the blood off her hand until she could hold his, and that secret vow with herself got them to this point.
Her skin was pink against the paleness of his hand. She would let him know she was there. He would feel the connection and come back to her. She was sure of it, and when that sureness faltered, she prayed.
The graze on Jay’s belly was a ricochet and didn’t even need stitches, just a good cleaning. The bullet that had flipped him onto his back, had broken a rib and continued on from there. You might say the most important parts of his life force dodged a bullet and the important, but not as dire, parts of his body; numerous blood vessels and his spleen, where the bullet ultimately found respite, took one for the team.
Infection was one of the things they were fighting against. It had already set in and he was on broad spectrum antibiotics until they could pin down the culprit and get a more specific antibiotic on board. The sheen of sweat and slight flush on his pale skin, gave away the a war raging within Jay’s body.
The other potential war was going on in his head. The CT was clear, but until they were able to do cognitive tests, they wouldn’t know if it was a full blown war of permanent disability or ‘just’ the skirmish of severe concussion symptoms. They had hope…and fear.
She looked over at Will. Lost in his thoughts as he looked at his baby brother. No doubt cycling through the ‘what if’s’ and ‘thank you Jesus’s.’
“Will...Will...”
His eyes flicker to her and back to his brother before he is finally out of his head and back in the room.
He sighs through his smile, “I’m okay Hailey.”
He seems to notice Voight for the first time which shows how deep in his head he was. Voight is a presence that is always felt even if not seen.
“Hank...”
“You need anything kid?”
“No. Thanks. I’m good.”
“I…”
He turned back to his brother, it was an unintentional dismissal of someone not ever dismissed, but no one acknowledged it, if even aware of it. The priority for all of them was laying in the bed fighting for his life.
Later, Hank left with a promise of coffee for all and whether it was a lack of awareness or unspoken gratitude for his thoughtfulness, Voight was once again unintentionally dismissed as their focus remained on Jay.
“When will he wake up?”
“Could be anytime. The anesthesia is pretty much out of his system. Pain meds are on a low dose. We need to check his cognitive function to find out how bad the concussion is.”
She can only nod. She wanted something more definitive but this was medicine, the human body, Jay. It would happen when it happened.
Three hours, two coffees, and a trip to the bathroom that could no longer be avoided later, Jay finally started to stir.
A sprint to and from the bathroom bookended a power pee and cursory hand washing, so she arrived just in time to see Jay’s hand flopping on the bed and his head weakly tossing back and forth on the pillow, his eyebrows scrunched in pain.
She couldn’t get to his side fast enough.
Will, already by Jay’s side, once again carding his hand through his brother’s hair filled her in, “He started to come around just after you left but hasn’t quite made it to the surface.”
She stroked her partner’s arm, wishing she could provide more comfort.
“Shh, shh Jay. You’re okay.”
She placed her other hand on his cheek, “It’s okay. We’re here.”
And not quite as suddenly as it began, Jay settled, but didn’t wake up.
She looked at Will confused when he chuckled. “It’s you. He was unsettled when you weren’t here. As soon as you got back he calmed down.”
“Ohhh.” She sighed. Not sure if she should be disappointed or worried that he didn’t wake up but was quite sure it was not something to chuckle over.
Will smirked when she didn’t get it, her focus already back on his brother. The last five minutes shined a whole new light on their partnership. At least for him. He wasn’t sure Hailey was aware of it. Was pretty sure Jay wasn’t consciously aware of it, but Jay’s subconscious, his subconscious definitely knew the score.
He sees the look on Hailey’s face and can’t help but grin, “It’s good news Hailey. This is good...in more ways than one I guess.”
His hope for his brother grew. Not just for his recovery, but his life after recovery. If anyone deserved happiness, it was his little brother. His wounds ran deep and it appeared Hailey was the salve.
He didn’t wake up for six hours, again when Hailey had left the room. He had awoken with a groan and a slight arching of his back. She ran back into the room, only to have Ethan send her out with Voight while he and Will checked Jay. A minute later Will poked his head out the door, his face showing exasperation and something else she couldn’t pin down. He called her back into the room and she automatically took up her spot, holding Jay’s hand, telling him it was okay. That’s when he finally settled and his eyes flickered open, causing Ethan and Will to break out in quiet laughter.
“Told ya. You owe me $5.”
So with her standing by Jay’s bedside they did his concussion check and besides being in pain and slightly confused by how he got there, which was totally normal, it looked like he was going to be okay. The fever lingered but was under control and barring any setbacks, he would be transferring to a normal room in a couple of hours.
The next day she woke up to find Jay awake and watching her. The relief that he was going to be okay, brought her to tears. He reached out and cupped her face, brushing tears away with his thumb, breathing out her name in less than a whisper. The moment seemed to take all his strength and he dropped back to sleep. The waking world too tiring for the moment, but seemingly worth the visit given the ghost of a smile on his lips.
She held his hand against her face for a moment, then brought it to her lips, closing her eyes and basking in the warmth of their exchange.
She moved her chair closer, never letting go of his hand, oblivious to everything else except the man in front of her.
At the doorway, Will and Voight stood silently, not wanting to interrupt their moment. Will looked at his brother’s boss, wondering what this might do to Jay’s position in the Unit. He knew Voight’s feelings when Jay was with Erin but didn’t know if anything had changed.
Voight caught his eye and ‘hmph’d.’ He knew exactly what Will was thinking, he was a detective after all. He shrugged and tweaked his lips in what might possibly be considered a smile, “Good timing. Trudy owes me $50. You’re my witness.”
He watched Voight walk away, surprised by his reaction but happy nonetheless. He gave one more look into the room. Hailey’s hand was still in Jay’s, her head resting on her arm watching his brother sleep. Jay was in good hands so he went to take a much needed shower and get something to eat for the both of them.
Those first couple of days in Jay’s recovery process were a cycle of sleep, pain waking him up, Hailey making him smile, pain relief (provided by Hailey’s presence and a dose of morphine) and back to a fevered sleep. For lack of a better word, provided by Kim of course, it was ‘sweet.’ And it was. Even the guys admitted it; when Jay was sleeping of course and Hailey was out of the room,…self preservation a must.
It was maple syrup on a shit show pancake. Things could have gone so much worse but the bad put a spotlight on the good for all to see, most importantly, Hailey and Jay. It opened their eyes to what had been in front of them for years but were too stubborn, too afraid, too blind to see. Everyone else had seen an inkling of it from time to time, but the aftermath of Jay getting hurt confirmed all of their suspicions.
XXXXXXX
In the last 4 days, she had watched him lay there unconscious, in pain, and fighting an infection. It probably wasn’t fair that he wouldn’t be awake for their first kiss but her heart was impatient. She leaned her hip against the bed and touched the fevered skin of his cheek, her thumb feathering lightly over his bottom lip. While her eyes drank in every bit of his beautiful face, she leaned in and brushed her lips against his.
She pulled back and studied his sleeping face. When she leaned in again, she found herself kissing a Jay Halstead smirk and couldn’t help but smile against it. She got goosebumps when he trailed his hand up her arm and tangled it in the hair at the nape of her neck, pulled her closer and reciprocated the kiss.
Platt, stepping into the room and becoming an unwitting witness to the Hallmark moment, lets them know she saw it, “Ack, I just got like 10 cavities.” but left before they could see the smile on her face. It would be bad for her reputation.
They broke the kiss and looked at each other, faces alight with super nova smiles and bright eyes before Jay sighed and fell into a peaceful sleep.
Platt came back to the hospital later that evening. Affixing her crankiest expression firmly over her happy face, she hands each of them a piece of paper.
“Form A-HR9 Relationship Declaration. I’ll need that back before you’re riding a desk Cinderfella.”
He’s groggy, in pain but happier than he’s ever been in his life, so he bites.
“What the hell is a Cinderfella?”
"A Cinderfella, you,” she jabs a finger at Jay, “is a Cinderella in fella form.”
Both Jay and Hailey look at her in confusion.
Exasperated, she explained, “Princess Charming over here…” she hikes a thumb at Hailey, “…kissed you awake.”
Both of them stare at her wide eyed which brings her an immense amount of satisfaction, they were totally oblivious to her presence.
Jay recovers first, “First of all Chief Bogo, that’s the wrong fairy tale. It’s Sleeping beauty who’s kissed awake…”
Smiling, Hailey interrupts, “Sleeping Beauty, it fits…”
Jay gives her a lopsided grin and squeezes her hand, then focuses on Platt again, “…and second of all, it’s Detective Cinderfella.”
…and they lived happily ever after.
The End