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Who decided that actions had to be justified? That they had to fit within a set of reasons that were entirely subjective? What made something rational versus irrational? These thoughts were running through Philza's head as he watched Tommy and Techno yell at each other in the crater New L'Manberg had become, hurling accusations of betrayal back and forth. Explosions surrounded them, swallowing up the conversation happening between the two. Philza wondered briefly what they were going on about, still barely registering the arrows and wither skulls flying past him.
You could intervene, a voice whispered in his mind, giving a weak attempt to push him into action. They don’t have to fight. He blinked in response, still staring numbly into the pit.
"It's for their own good," he reasoned, his voice becoming lost in the explosions around him. "They need to learn from their mistakes."
Dust curled around the edges of his wings as TNT rained from the obsidian grid above. The smug grin on Philza's face from earlier had been replaced by a dispassionate glare, adrenaline quickly wearing off as the nation had crumbled through their efforts.
Did they need to learn? A pause. The voice sounded suspiciously like himself. Or were you just bitter?
His eyes narrowed. "The government corrupted them. It was time that it got put to an end." Philza quickly pushed himself up from where he was sitting on the bee sanctuary. Spreading out his tattered wings, he lifted his trident and shot himself up, away from the battle raging below him. He rose to meet the obsidian structure, landing next to one of the dispensers.
Dream was still running around, checking the TNT supply and reveling in the destruction he was causing. He paused briefly to acknowledge Philza.
"Having fun?"
"You could say that."
Philza retrieved a stack of TNT from his inventory, holding it up with a smile. "Want some help?" He could tell Dream was smirking under the mask.
"Absolutely."
The rest of the afternoon passed by in a haze. Philza simply looked on, completely apathetic to the chaos. He felt nothing as his house was reduced to rubble, nothing as he saw Tommy and Tubbo trying to hold themselves together, nothing as Ghostbur his son yelled at him for killing the sheep he had kept as a pet. It was with a sick sense of detachment that he experienced all of it, harsh words and ash rushing over him like water, leaving him with a blank sense of stasis.
Later on, Philza would question why he invited Ranboo to come stay with him and Techno. He'd barely spoken to the kid outside of saving him in the Nether and the whole incident with the Butcher Army. It was confusing, to say the least.
Maybe it was some messed-up form of coping. He had killed one son, permanently damaged his relationship with another, so perhaps he had decided to acquire another broken kid Phil could attempt to fix. Regardless, he let the hybrid join him as he made his way back to Techno and his base. Hopefully, the two of them would get along.
As they trudged through the snow in silence, Phil kept up an air of relaxation, bordering on satisfaction. It wouldn’t do to portray any kind of weakness after blowing up the country the kid had been living in.
Eventually, Ranboo spoke up. “I- I have a question.”
“Mhmm?”
“Why did you do it?” Phil stopped dead in his tracks.
“What?”
Ranboo fidgeted lightly with the edges of the cloak Phil had lent him to keep away the chill. “Why’d you help them blow up L’Manberg?”
“I-” Philza stared down at his hands, a few flecks of ash still remaining on his gloves. The haze from earlier began to return. “It took away so much from me, barely giving anything in return.” He looked back up at the tundra. “That’s why I did it.”
"Oh." The teen sounded guilty, and it almost hurt. Philza continued walking, mind once again lost to the fog.
He thought he could hear Ranboo distantly apologize, but the damage had already been done. Philza had made his choice and L'Manberg lay in ruins, as it rightfully should. Still, Philza managed to get out a light dismissal, telling the kid not to worry about it. It wasn't his fault after all.
Phil blinked and suddenly they were at Techno's base. The tense atmosphere from earlier had lessened, but Phil could tell that he needed to do at least some form of damage control. He turned to Ranboo, smiling warmly in the same way he had done with all of his kids. "So, Techno doesn't want you staying in the house because he already has an Enderman roommate-"
"Really? That's- that's cool."
"Yeah, his name is Edward, but Techno just doesn't want there to be too much conflict, Y'know?" Ranboo nodded in response. "We do have plenty of space here though, so if you wanted to build some kind of house, I'd be happy to help."
"Oh, it's fine! I- I can build it myself, don't worry about it!" Phil watched as the hybrid began walking towards the base of the mountain behind Techno's house. There was a moment of confusion when Ranboo suddenly stopped and turned around, almost beaming at Phil. "Thank you!"
Blinking in surprise, Phil quickly covered it up with a smile of his own, brushing off the thanks with a handwave. The lanky teen wandered off again to search for materials, Phil's cape still draped around his shoulders, and a pang of nostalgia shot through Phil.
You know why you did it. The voice from earlier began whispering again. You know why you brought him home.
Phil sighed and made his way into the house, placing a few pieces of coal in the furnace to start heating up the main area. “He needed somewhere to stay,” he muttered to himself as he put out some water to boil for tea. “Nothing more. That’s it.” Glancing out the window, he noticed the beginnings of a small shack had appeared on the side of the mountain, Ranboo still trying to set up the walls.
Originally Ranboo had reminded Phil of Techno, with his dry wit and skill (Philza had been watching the fight with the butcher army, now well aware that Ranboo was hiding his fighting prowess), but the more time he spent with the kid, the more he was reminded of Wilbur. Not Ghostbur, no, even though the parallels were there, but his son from long before he had ventured onto Dream's lands.
The two had many shared ideals, preferring words and compromise over swords and bloodshed, but what struck Phil the most was the inexplicable way that both could somehow manage to pull a smile out of him through the haze. He knew that they weren't the same, but it still filled him with an odd mix of regret and hope when he saw Ranboo laughing with Tommy and Tubbo, or trailing behind Techno, a million questions spilling out.
Guilt threatened to overtake him as Phil sat alone in the kitchen, the tea still warming up on the stove. His clothing carried the scent of ash and gunpowder. Distantly Phil wondered if the cape Ranboo was borrowing had the same issue. He hoped it didn’t.
The door swung open with a dull creak, and Phil's head snapped up to see Techno stepping into the cottage. He looked slightly worse for wear, with singed clothing and dust in his hair. Phil himself was likely in a similar situation, but really that was to be expected after blowing up a nation.
Techno looks between Phil and the pot boiling on the stove before wordlessly turning to retrieve two mugs from the cabinet, and Phil could almost cry in relief. It had been their routine from day one that Phil had stayed with Techno at the cottage, the ritual starting with Phil putting out water to boil and Techno getting the cups, ending with the two of them sitting at the table and taking a moment to relax.
Setting the mugs on the counter, Techno grabbed the handle of the pot, water now fully heated, and poured an even amount into each cup. He added in the tea packets, using one each of Phil and Techno's preferred flavors, eventually bringing both over to the table and passing one to Phil.
A few moments passed in silence before Phil finally spoke up.
"I invited Ranboo to stay with us." The piglin's ear flicked once.
"Oh?" Phil nodded, staring deeply into the mug he held cupped in his hands.
"He seemed like he needed some kind of guidance."
The slight sigh that Techno let out didn't escape Phil. If anyone were to understand the logic of Phil letting the younger hybrid stay with them, it would be Techno.
"He isn't staying in the house," Phil added quickly. "I know you probably don't trust him yet and it's still your property, and that's fine, but I just-"
"Phil, it's okay." Phil looked up as he was cut off by Techno. "I don't mind. As long as he isn't a nuisance I'm fine with it, and if I’m gonna be honest, the kid doesn't seem like he has the confidence to be annoying on purpose."
Techno’s remark pulled a small laugh out of Phil, distancing him from the threatening haze. It was one of the few similarities between Techno and Wilbur, the way both of them managed to make Phil feel a little lighter whether it was intentional or not.
The two of them sat in comfortable silence for a while longer, the soft herbal tea covering the smell of the ash clinging to their clothes. Ranboo could still be heard shuffling around outside and Phil made a mental note to help him set up his shelter tomorrow. For now, he was content to simply exist, secure in the arctic with his oldest friend, just as it had always been.