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“Look at him,” Toudou seethes, watching Itadori and Fushiguro from afar. “Who does he think he is?”
Mai, who had been haughtily ignoring everyone else’s existence, looks over. She frowns. “What are you upset about now?”
“HIM,” Toudou stresses once more, waving his entire arm towards Fushiguro. “How dare he? Taking up My Best Friend’s time like that.”
“Do you really have to say that every time?” Nishimiya sighs, shedding herself of her baseball gear. “His name’s Itadori, you know.”
“He knows,” Mai scoffs. Miwa, who had been sweetly offering sports drinks to the rest of their team, wanders over with Mechamaru and Kamo in tow. Toudou accepts one and drinks it aggressively, not breaking his silent and one-sided vigil. In the distance, Itadori laughs and wraps an arm around Fushiguro’s shoulders. Toudou gives a grunt of despair when Fushiguro leans into it.
“God, can you stop that? This is worse than your freaky crush on T...Takada-chan.” Mai only barely stumbles over the idol’s name, blushing. Nishimiya's eyes cut slyly over to her only to be ignored.
“How could My Best Friend have such terrible taste,” Toudou cries out, bursting his Pocari Sweat with indignance. "Of all people!"
Nishimiya rolls her eyes as Miwa cocks her head to the side, bangs askew.
“Ooookay?” Miwa says when no further information is forthcoming. “What’s wrong with Fushiguro?”
Mai cuts Toudou off before he can launch into a rant. They didn't have all day. “He thinks Fushiguro is getting in the way of his ‘honeymoon’ with his ‘Best Friend’.” The air quotes are heavily implied. Kamo, who had been listening in, chokes on his Pocari Sweat. Mechamaru, directly in his line of fire, drips indignantly.
“Best friend?” Kamo cries, pointing at his entirely bandaged head. "That guy nearly killed me for Itadori's sake!"
"Aren't your injuries from the special grade cursed spirit?" Mai chuckles.
"You're missing the point!"
"Well, we were trying to kill Itadori," Miwa points out reasonably. "Fair is fair." Everyone nods in agreement.
"Right, but what I'm saying is, the level of ferocity wasn't what I would expect of someone defending their best friend. If anything, you'd think I'd just threatened his boyfr–"
"You wouldn't know, Kamo," Nishimiya interrupts, lips curling suddenly. "You don't have any best friends." Before anyone could call her out for this below-the-belt remark, she winks purposefully. "I mean... The bond between two best friends…" She sighs dramatically for effect, seeing Toudou soak up her every word. "It's just something special, you know? Fushiguro must be. His best friend, I mean." That last part definitely was said with a shit eating grin that Mai mirrors with relish.
"Oh, of course," she sighs airily, absolutely ready to ruin peoples' lives. "They must share a lot of history, those two."
"WE SHARE HISTORY!!!" Toudou explodes, simply unable to handle the inaccuracies anymore. "We went to junior high together! He comforted me when I confessed to Takada-chan! I'M his best friend, damn it!!!"
Since literally no one can confirm or deny this highly unlikely story, they just nod. Miwa, who is starting to realize that Nishimiya and Mai are up to no good, frowns gently. "I'm sure people can have lots of best friends, Toudou."
This is absolutely the wrong thing to say. If anything, Toudou seems even more shattered than before. He wanders away wordlessly in a daze.
"Oh shit," Miwa says worriedly.
"Oh, I can't wait," Mai mutters gleefully.
Kamo squints at her in frustration. "Why did you let him believe Fushiguro was just Itadori's best friend? Does no one else see it?"
"Because it's Toudou," Nishimiya points out with an aggrieved noise. "Who doesn't want to see what happens? Besides, we don't know. Maybe they are just really close friends. Kugisaki also tried to kill me for Itadori's sake."
"Well," Miwa says hesitantly. "That might just be Kugisaki. Being Kugisaki."
"Point taken."
"I heard my name!" Kugisaki materializes as if summoned. She glares at them suspiciously. "Are you Kyoto people talking shit," she says sweetly, bringing the rest of the Tokyo class into it too. Maki subtly lets the light glint off her glasses as she hoists her bat onto one shoulder. Inumaki and Panda are minding their own business, helmets peacefully under their arms, but a beady look gleams in their eyes. Altogether they look… threatening, albeit significantly friendlier than when Itadori's life had been on the line.
"What's Fushiguro and Itadori's deal," Mai cuts right into it, for once not displeased to see Maki. The whole Tokyo class blinks.
"What do you mean?" Maki asks warily.
"Like, are they together? Like that?" Nishimiya clarifies.
"How would I know?" Maki scoffs. "I just met Itadori yesterday. And we thought he was dead up until that point."
"Right, right, but what about before that?"
Inumaki and Panda glance at each other and shrug. Maki frowns. All eyes turn to Kugisaki. She looks outraged.
"Why are you all looking at me?! Why would I know?"
"You're the only one who knew them… before," Miwa says delicately. Before Itadori died. No one wanted to bring the mood down. "Were they dating, do you think?"
"Why the hell would I care what they do with each other?" Kugisaki pauses, hating that she was considering it, but seeing them in a new light. "I mean… it's possible. They knew each other before I did and Fushiguro was pretty uhh. Upset. When Itadori wasn't… here." A massive, massive understatement. She presses on. "It's not like I've ever asked them though. What made you guys think that?"
"You're kidding, right?" Nishimiya deadpans. Almost as a group, they collectively think back on just what they've seen of the two together.
Once more, Kamo gestures to his entire body, the main recipient of Fushiguro's rage. "I really don't want to keep bringing this up, but…"
"We know, we know, Fushiguro mauled your ass for trying to threaten Itadori," Kugisaki dismisses. Inumaki snickers.
"I really can't stress it enough."
"Kamo does seem like the kind of person who’d deserve it," Panda mutters to Inumaki, as if that justifies it.
“REALLY? An elephant? ”
“Bonito flakes,” Inumaki shrugs indifferently.
“An ELEPHAN–”
“Fushiguro does have a soft spot for Itadori though,” Panda interrupts, tapping cutely at his snout. Kamo puffs up in outrage. “He was pretty insistent on not leaving when he saw Itadori was in danger. I had to carry him out, he couldn't even walk at the time! And it was only after Itadori talked him into it." Panda thinks on it. "Come to think of it, they did share this LOOK. It was… very..."
"Salmon?" Inumaki suggests helpfully.
"Yes, charged. Thanks, Inumaki."
"So they look at each other in a gay way," Maki translates, amused. "Interesting. I mean, I see it. Itadori's the first time I've seen Megumi do that. Maybe you're onto something."
"Onto what?" Gojo chirps, flitting into the conversation. The atmosphere changes immediately. "My, MY, look at all my cute students getting along! And with Utahime's class, no less."
"Go away, Gojo-sensei," Kugisaki grits out. Miwa is barely containing her excitement, blushing furiously. Mechamaru somehow radiates displeasure.
"No, no, I heard that you think Itadori and Fushiguro may have a thing going on," Gojo laughs before grinning like a shark. "Are we placing bets? I want in."
"You can't GAMBLE with your students," Kugisaki cries indignantly while the rest of the Kyoto school collectively reels at Gojo's lack of boundaries. "Especially about their personal lives! What kind of a teacher?!"
"Fine, fine, I won't take your money. But I still want to know. "
"We do too. But only because it might mean ruining Toudou's life," Mai smirks. At that, everyone in the Tokyo class's ears perk up. Even Gojo's. "I wonder what would make him more miserable. Fushiguro being Itadori's best friend… or Fushiguro being Itadori's type. "
"OOOOH, that's tough," Miwa exclaims.
"Spicy cod roe," Inumaki says appreciatively.
"Yeah, fuck that guy," Maki laughs. "Alright, you're on."
Since most of the year they wouldn't be seeing each other in person, they all agree to exchange phone numbers and social media handles. That way they can witness it all unfold in real time. Nishimiya plants the idea in Toudou's head that he should follow Itadori online instead of hoping they would randomly have opportunities to see each other again. This is mainly to make it easy to flaunt Itadori and Fushiguro's relationship and give Toudou something to anguish over. They would lay the trap and watch Toudou lose his mind as he slowly puts the pieces together.
Kugisaki, for her part, convinces Itadori to befriend the Kyoto class on Instagram. As for Fushiguro, who ignores her request, she starts tagging him in all of her photos: sneak attack ones of them all going out and on missions together, with Itadori and Fushiguro cunningly in the background.
Inumaki is shockingly the best at nabbing photos of Itadori and Fushiguro together–always during opportune moments, and always with him flashing a peace sign in the corner to trick onlookers into thinking he was just taking a selfie. The man must've been a paparazzi in a past life, because the photos are damning. Fushiguro stargazing with Itadori on their adjoining verandas. Fushiguro choking on water after Itadori took off his shirt during practice. Itadori sitting in near tears during a movie night because Fushiguro fell asleep on his shoulder. Itadori either smelling or kissing Fushiguro's hair.
The two are weirdly fascinating to watch interact, between Itadori's random antics and Fushiguro's reactions to him. Itadori pays a lot of attention to Fushiguro and is very openly affectionate, in a sweetly obvious way. Fushiguro, despite his resting bitch face and serious aura, is almost like an entirely different person around Itadori. They bicker all the time, judging from the short video clips Kugisaki and even Maki posts. He's funny around Itadori. He smiles. It's a barely-there smile, mostly in his eyes, but it happens a lot.
They just sort of make sense together. It's hard not to get invested and root for them, almost against everyone's will. It doesn't mean they don't bond over making fun of them though. Kugisaki is saltily keeping track of each time Itadori cooks Fushiguro's favorite meals over the rest of the group’s choices (“It’s the fourth time this week!"), while Panda has started a running tally of how many times Fushiguro is seen reading one of Itadori's manga instead of his usual biographies (“He’s on volume 23 already! Ganbatte, Fushiguro!”). In return, the Kyoto first and second years gleefully send evidence of Toudou's spiralling descent into despair.
Pictures of Toudou curled on the floor in the fetal position. Clips of Toudou doing "anger push-ups" to cope with his jealousy. Toudou pettily naming his weakest Pokemon after Fushiguro and losing gym battles with them on purpose. Toudou going to a Takada-chan meet and greet already in a state of depression because Itadori was with Fushiguro instead.
"He's eleven hours away by car," Kamo exclaims in disgust at Toudou's disappointment.
"Only two and a half by bullet train," Toudou corrects, as if this somehow lessens the insanity.
"Ah, of course,” Mai sighs sagely. “Then clearly Fushiguro is the only thing in the way."
“Yes! That is what I keep TELLING you!” Toudou booms, stomping off in his Takada-Chan Limited-Edition Peach Sweater. Miwa peers after Toudou in concern.
“This is going too far. He’s going to try and murder Fushiguro to take his place at this rate.”
“Nonsense!” Kamo perks up suspiciously. “This is all in good fun!”
"Yeah," Mai chimes in, her own Takada-Chan Limited-Edition Phone Charm swinging as she texts furiously away. "All in good fun. Besides, it’s not like he’s going alone."
“Shouldn’t you get going then?” Nishimiya asks. “He’s leaving without you.”
“Are you kidding me? I can’t be seen with THAT.”
CURSED CONTENT 
oh my god
he started wearing those stupid runner tights 😩
I'm cringing so hard
Nishimiya
fushiguro? or itadori?? pix or it didn't haaappen
(◕ᴗ◕✿)(◡ ω ◡)(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)
fushiguro
► Photo
Miwa
Wow!! I wouldn't have guessed
⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄-⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄
Inumaki
Is that why Itadori's been "checking on his form" every time he stretches?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Panda
You noticed that too huh I think Itadori-kun tripped and landed on his face
All because Fushiguro-kun wiped his forehead with the hem of his shirt
Kamo
Haha
Panda
You humans are so clumsy when you like someone
Please be careful end message no just stop typing
Inumaki
Panda are you using the voice to text feature?
Nishimiya
omg so his ABS were out
👁👄👁
wtf??? he's not even that defined 🤡
Nishimiya
does Itadori like them lanky or
Maki
Guys, that's my cousin.
sorry maki 😬
Inumaki
Sorry Maki.
Miwa
Sorry maki!!
｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡
Mai
Maki, your cousin's a slut
Seen by Maki, Panda + 6
"Hey Toudou," Mai says coyly. "Did you see what Itadori just posted?"
A pause as Toudou haltingly enters in his passcode to unlock his phone.
“... Why is My Best Friend buying Fushiguro ice cream?!” Toudou fumes, stabbing menacingly at a picture Itadori posted of the two of them sharing a parfait at a fancy cafe. Gojo Satoru is gleefully antagonizing Fushiguro in the midground while Itadori sits across from Fushiguro. Itadori is laughing, a spoonful of parfait hovering midair, as if trying to feed Fushiguro. Fushiguro is flushing angrily, clearly embarrassed, while Kugisaki throws a wink and peace sign to the camera, unphased by the chaos. “Is he too cheap to buy his own?”
“No, I think that’s just something best friends do for each other,” Mai states casually as she walks away. She hears Toudou’s phone drop with a muffled thud onto the carpet. She smirks.
Less than a day later, Kugisaki sends a video to the groupchat of Itadori unboxing a whole crate of snacks that Toudou clearly paid priority shipping for. “Wow!” Itadori can be heard exclaiming amid the rustle of styrofoam packing peanuts. “My birthday isn’t even for another six months! That’s so nice of him! Kugisaki, look, sakura flavored KitKats! Ooooh and sweet potato ones too! Fushiguro, here, you like those...”
The plot thickens when it becomes undeniable that Fushiguro and Itadori are an item. Like, they’ve clearly evolved past the hushed gay undertones of their relationship into unmistakably gay overtones.
“What THE FUCK????” Toudou shrieks in confusion, booming at the bright hour of 7 a.m. Kamo, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, regrets having to share the same hallway as him. “What the fuck?!”
“What did they do now,” Kamo mutters to himself, blearily patting around for his phone to pull up the latest posts on their feed. Sure enough, Itadori has posted something. It’s innocent enough. Just a picture of Fushiguro in a hoodie that is clearly Itadori’s, grinning shyly, with one hand slightly blocking out the camera. Nothing they haven’t seen before, except maybe for the fact that Fushiguro is actually smiling. And... Wait. Is that–
Kamo squints aggressively, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He zooms in on the photo and huffs at the impropriety. “Well, I’d never.”
That’s definitely a hickey peeking out on Fushiguro’s neck where his hair doesn’t cover. The Jennifer Lawrence poster barely visible behind him clearly doesn’t belong in Fushiguro’s room, so they must be in Itadori’s. The caption is equally damning, a cheerful “good morning, sleepyhead ⛅”.
Kamo immediately pulls up the groupchat.
CURSED CONTENT
Itadori and Fushiguro are done being "subtle" as it seems
Maki
Oh, we know. Trust us. We actually have to LIVE with them, unlike you.
Mechamaru
Someone tell Toudou to shut up. I can hear him all the way from my room...
Nishimiya
i can hear him from MY room!!! we live in separate buildings
(┛✧Д✧))┛彡┻━┻
Miwa
He's.... not taking this well
Inumaki
(人 •͈ᴗ•͈) Is that so...?
Seen by Maki, Panda + 6
Sure enough, the rest of the day passes with no sign of Toudou coming to any form of closure.
“But his hair is so ugly,” they could hear Toudou muttering to himself as he adjusts his pineapple bun. “It looks like a rambutan.”
“Amazing,” Mechamaru monotones while the rest of the group is combusting into barely repressed laughter. “A complete lack of self awareness. I’ve never met anyone quite like him.”
As predicted, they get absolutely nothing done that day.
“TOUDOU! Where did he go?” Utahime shouts in frustration as everyone is panting on the ground from running laps. Toudou is nowhere to be found. “That boy… We’re supposed to be doing drills!”
Almost on cue, they hear a booming “How can this BE!?” that sends flocks of crows scattering. “WHY IS MY BEST FRIEND DOING THIS TO ME? ME!” Sure enough, it’s Toudou. Bellowing dramatically from a rooftop.
“Found him,” Nishimiya deadpans, while Miwa wheezes in laughter next to her.
“I admit,” Kamo begrudgingly smiles. “This is going… better than we could have anticipated. Itadori and Fushiguro consistently seem to cause him anguish, no matter what they do.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of perfect,” Mai marvels. “We win. We’ll always win.”
“Honestly,” Utahime tries to tsk, pretending to disapprove and failing. “This is mean. Your colleague is suffering.”
“Utahime-sensei, you’re smiling too.”
“As an adult, I’m not supposed to find this funny,” she says primly. “Unlike some blindfolded bastards I could name… Who, come to think of it, now owes me money.” As everyone gawks at the revelation of some sort of betting pool among the teachers, Utahime busily readjusts her bow, turning away. “Somebody go get Toudou down from the roof.”
“How much money?” Mechamaru boldly asks, because no one else is brave enough to. Utahime’s hands freeze. She looks over her shoulder at them, brimming with malice.
“Don’t worry about it.” She turns back around, fluffing up her bow. “Gojo Satoru can afford it.”
"Are you done being homophobic?" Nishimiya asks later that day, just to get a rise out of him. Toudou, who had been scrolling for the last hour, turns. There's literally tears streaming down his face.
"It's not their gayness I have a problem with," Toudou weeps with utmost seriousness. "But rather… their Gayness."
The most recent post is of Itadori and Fushiguro holding hands. Not even anywhere special in particular. They're not even really in the picture themselves. No, it's just their hands, and the caption is "💗💙💛🖤".
Nishimiya reaches up with her own tiny hand to pat Toudou on the shoulder. It's the highest point of him she can reach. "I know, buddy. I know."
Eventually, Toudou does confront Itadori over this, as they all knew he would. Inumaki is livestreaming the entire thing. It's only slightly unwatchable because the camera keeps shaking from silent laughter.
"I thought you liked tall girls with big butts!" Toudou cries in betrayal.
Itadori just blinks, oblivious to Toudou's rapidly deteriorating world view. He scratches absently at his undereye scars.
"Well yeah, I do."
"Then EXPLAIN THIS!" Toudou says, waving his hand to encompass Fushiguro's entire general being. Fushiguro's face remains impassive, ignoring Toudou's existence with an almost offensive mildness. "This is NONE of those things."
Itadori's mouth forms a little 'o' of realization, before decisively lowering his fist onto his palm like a judge's gavel. "You only asked what my type of woman was. He's my type too!"
Toudou wants to howl in grief at his best friend's horrible taste in boring men. Fushiguro just smiles, small and tucked into the corner of his mouth as he turns his head away.
"This one?" Toudou stresses, while Fushiguro continues to zone out into the middle distance. "Are you absolutely sure?"
Itadori nods rapidly, earnest and serious. "Yes!"
"Why?"
Itadori breezes past the pain in Toudou's voice to breathlessly exalt Fushiguro's traits, managing to come off both shy and enthusiastic. "Fushiguro has really beautiful eyes. And he's smart! And brave. Very calm and elegant, too. And he's tall," Itadori seems to tack on as an afterthought, the one common thread underlying his taste between men and women. Itadori then flushes, glancing to make sure Fushiguro really is ignoring them, before whispering, "And… I mean, his butt... it's nice."
Fushiguro flushes, the tip of his ears turning softly pink. So much for ignoring. Toudou was spiraling, but who cared, right?
"It's FLAT."
Love really is blind, or has rendered his brother incapable of properly using his eyesight.
It all made sense now. The long looks. How angry Itadori got when Fushiguro was hurt. Oh my God, all those sparring sessions Maki posted on her story. Toudou has had his suspicions about the sheer number of times Fushiguro ended up flat on his back with Itadori pinning him. At the time, he'd thought Fushiguro just had unforgivably shitty footwork and an embarrassingly breathy way of yielding.
Now, Toudou's brain is short circuiting from the speed with which all the evidence is flying together. Nobody takes that much time before helping someone up. Come to think of it, Itadori never tenderly fixes Toudou's hair after knocking him to the ground either. Good fucking god. The disappointment just keeps coming. Is EVERYTHING a sign?
What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck.
Toudou takes a moment to gather the remaining pieces of his respect for Itadori. While this news is certainly eye opening, Toudou is determined to be a supportive friend.
"Very well, Itadori-kun. This… Doesn't change how I see you. You're… still my best friend." Fushiguro scoffs quietly in the background and Toudou ignores him. Toudou claps a heavy hand onto Itadori's shoulder. "Thank you for your courage and honesty. You have nothing to be ashamed of."
"Ashamed?" Itadori starts to protest, as Toudou bulldozes over the rest of his sentence.
"You'll always be a formidable and interesting person to me. No matter how boring Fushiguro is. I’ll always know the truth."
"Thanks," Fushiguro deadpans.
He regrets it. He regrets ever giving his blessing, because now he has to witness their relationship with full knowledge of what is happening.
Itadori, once in love, is a sap. That's the only word for it. He becomes one of those people that only posts about himself and his partner. They're annoyingly photogenic about it too, between Itadori's bright smile and how Fushiguro somehow looks calm and at ease no matter what angle they catch him at. Worse, they have FUN. Karaoke bars and trips around Roppongi and trying new Chinese restaurants together. This is borderline inconceivable with a guy like Fushiguro, who likes reading nonfiction and drinking black coffee. If Fushiguro were a spice, he would be flour, and if he were a color he would be beige. Itadori’s enthusiasm seems determined to carry them both to new, un-boring horizons. Well, good fucking luck. Toudou has no idea how they manage it.
"Toudou!" Utahime snaps after Toudou's head connects loudly with his desk for the second time. He’d been fuming so hard he didn’t notice himself slowly sliding off his own palm. "Pay attention! Stop moping about Itadori and Fushiguro. I'm taking your phone too."
"How did she know," Miwa whispers in awe.
"What else would it be about," Nishimiya sighs, shaking her head.
Toudou eventually decides to TRY, which is possibly even more hilarious than all his previous attempts thus far. He makes a spirited effort to accept and welcome Fushiguro as Itadori's boyfriend in the only way he knows how.
Beating the everloving shit out of him.
"Is this the only way Toudou knows how to make friends?" Gojo asks Utahime wryly as his student sails through the air to escape Toudou's fists. The pine tree that Toudou hits instead snaps in half and goes crashing down hard.
"Well, we're working on that," Utahime sighs, rubbing her temples.
It does NOT go as planned, mostly because by now, Fushiguro has spent months sparring both Itadori AND Maki. Itadori, being both alive and well, gives him a reason to wake up and kick ass every morning. Toudou spits blood out of his mouth, wildly delighted that Fushiguro is not the same depressed wimp with nothing to live for from their first fight.
"You ARE worthy of My Best Friend," Toudou shouts in glee, instantly rushing to put Fushiguro into an arm lock.
"Maybe somebody should stop them," Miwa says worriedly.
"No," and surprisingly it's Itadori speaking, shaking his head ruefully. "Let them have this. Megumi's been itching for an excuse."
The electrical crackling of Nue's wings and Toudou's accompanying shriek confirm this statement.
The final straw comes after a joint mission they have in Osaka. Toudou had been looking for them after they’d split up, done with his portion of the curses blighting the forest. And he found them, alright. Hell is witnessing your best friend commit sexual atrocities with the most unforgivably flat-assed guy you've ever met.
"Fuck," Toudou hears Fushiguro moan desperately, shaving approximately eight years off Toudou's lifespan. “Don’t stop, don’t–”
Toudou never thought Fushiguro had it in him to be any level of kinky, much less a full-on exhibitionist. As is, Fushiguro's pants are barely dangling on one ankle while Yuuji mercifully is fully clothed. Almost against his will, Toudou finds himself gaining a modicum of respect.
"Shh, someone might hear." Itadori shifts his hold to higher up Fushiguro's thighs, and changes his rhythm to a slower pace as he keeps Fushiguro suspended with one arm. Which would be impressive, if his other hand wasn't busy doing fucking unspeakable things to Fushiguro. Fushiguro, whose voice pitches up, and god did he have to be a screamer too?! You'd think they WANTED to get caught. "Are you okay?"
Toudou closes his eyes so as to preserve the remaining shreds of his sanity. The sight of a naked Fushiguro would break him, it really would.
"I'm good, I'm good, want more, please," Fushiguro is babbling, and holy shit, Toudou has to get out of here. In his haste to blindly sneak away, he steps on a branch. Itadori stops immediately.
"What was that?" NO. "I thought I heard some rustling."
"Probably just a bird." There is an absolutely life-ruining level of horniness in Fushiguro's voice Toudou would give anything to unhear. "Please hurry up."
"I don't want you to tear… I'm a lot bigger than this." Almost as if to prove his point, Itadori does something that triggers an almost alarming sobbing-moan from Fushiguro. "Fuck, babe, should I stop?"
"I'm okay… I, ahh… Ahh..." Fushiguro involuntarily cries out again. He sounds positively feral.
"Megumi…"
"So full, FUCK it hurts so good. W-want to feel you finish, want you to do it inside." Why O H W H Y did the universe curse Toudou with the gift of hearing? Why did Fushiguro have to be a FREAK? "PLEASE, Yuuji… haaah… oh my god–FUCK, fuck, please– "
It really is always the quiet ones.
"GOD, you beg so pretty," Itadori growls and Toudou has... truly... never felt closer to death. "Alright, fine."
They start kissing again, and while that does muffle Fushiguro's disturbing whimpers, it stresses Toudou out to hear the level of... enthusiasm. His hips start audibly slamming against Fushiguro's and a very loud part of Toudou just wants to make these proceedings stop altogether. But then they would know that he knows and–
Thankfully, the decision is taken out of his hands for him with the unmistakable battlecry of Kugisaki scouring the woods for her teammates.
"HEY!!!! I’M DONE! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO LAZY DEADBEATS?"
"Shit," Fushiguro hisses.
"I KNOW YOU'RE HERE!" More violent crashing noises as she approaches.
"She's gonna kill us," Itadori groans. He can hear Itadori frantically fixing Fushiguro's clothes and hair.
Twin streaks of manly tears race down Toudou's face from his tightly shut eyes. Kugisaki Nobara… he owes her a life debt. He hastily makes his exit, camouflaged by all the noises the other two are making as they clamber to make themselves decent.
Fushiguro Megumi… Toudou thinks bitterly as he runs away, tears flying in his wake. You... are not a boring guy.