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Josh rolls over in his sleep, his arm automatically reaching out for the warm body next to him, but he frowns when he comes up empty and wakes further, becoming more confused when he opens his eyes and Donna isn't next to him. He looks behind him to see if there’s a light on in the hallway for the bathroom, but it’s still dark. He sees it’s only 2am and thinks maybe she went to grab a drink of water, so he closes his eyes and waits about 30 seconds before they pop back open again and he rolls out of bed to go find her.
He rubs his eyes sleepily as he wanders into the living room and sees her sitting on the couch, only the light filtering in from the open curtains illuminating the room. He yawns and sits down next to her, throwing his arm around her and pulling her onto his shoulder so he can kiss her forehead.
“What are you doing up?” he asks and kisses her forehead again. “Come to bed.”
“I couldn’t sleep,” she answers, worrying the blanket on the arm of the couch between her fingers and Josh frowns again.
“Donna,” he says, grabbing her hand and standing in front of her. “Come on. Come to bed. It’s 2 in the morning, you have a long day tomorrow. You need your sleep.”
“Josh,” she murmurs, tugging his hand so he’ll sit back down. “I need to— I mean, we have to—” she cuts off again and is the one to stand this time as she starts pacing in front of him.
“What’s going on?”
“I woke up sick,” she starts and he frowns.
“Huh?”
“I was having a dream that we were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and I woke up immediately nauseous and I threw up, so—”
“Are you okay? Why didn’t you wake me?”
“I thought it was just those scallions I had at dinner. It passed pretty quickly.”
“Are you still sick?” he asks, worried now, and he reaches out to grab her hand again. “I can get you some Pepto or– I guess one of the agents will go do it, but still. Some Tums or Sprite or saltines or—”
She smiles down at him and squeezes his hand. “I’m okay, Josh. I feel fine now. Maddie went and got me a few things from the convenience store around the corner anyway, though. I wanted to check something and I didn’t wanna wait til morning.”
“Check what?” he asks as she walks away from him and into the bathroom. “The Lotto scores?”
She comes back to sit down next to him and sets something on the coffee table. “Well, we certainly won a prize.”
“What are you talking about?” he asks, amused now as he looks at her.
Donna leans forward to grab the item off the table and bring it closer so he can see it. “I’m pregnant, Josh.”
He blinks. “What are you talking about?” he repeats, his voice barely above a whisper.
Donna smiles at him a little nervously. “We’re having a baby.” She brings the positive pregnancy test right to him so he can see for himself.
“You took a test?” he asks, grabbing it from her and staring at the two little lines.
“I’ve had this weird feeling in my stomach all week and when I woke up sick, I had to check.” She watches as he continues staring at the little window on the stick and she reaches out to rub his back. “Honey?”
“We’re really having a baby?” he says and his eyes are wet when he finally looks up at her, a big smile starting to creep across his face. “This is for real? I’m not dreaming?”
She huffs out a laugh and shakes her head. “You’re not dreaming. I’m really pregnant.”
“Donna,” he breathes, dropping the test onto the coffee table and wrapping her up in a big hug.
“Are you happy?” she whispers and he kisses across her cheek and to her lips.
“God, yes,” he says, his smile so wide as he pulls her into his arms for another hug. “We’re having a baby.” She pulls back after a moment and he brushes her hair out of her face. “Aren’t you?”
“The timing isn’t great,” she says, biting her lip. “I mean, I’ll literally be pregnant right through re-election. I won’t be able to fly with you anywhere starting around September if my math is right, I’ll be too far along.”
“We can figure it out—”
“And then there's the issue of being on maternity leave for a good chunk of the first hundred days if we win. You can’t take that time off, Josh,” she says, working herself up now as she stands to pace again. “Plus, you know, why couldn’t it wait until later so I wouldn’t have to suffer through an entire summer and none of this would be a problem? I mean, how stupid are we?! We advocate for comprehensive sex education and still end up with an unplanned pregnancy!”
“Okay, honey, you gotta relax. You have the crazy eye. It’s gonna be fine.”
“Is it? We live in a one bedroom apartment, Josh. We can’t raise a baby here!”
She continues her path around the coffee table and Josh stands up. “Donna– Donna, will you just—” He stands in her path and grabs the tops of her arms. “I need you to breathe, okay? ‘Cause if I’m the calm one in this situation, then I’ll go back to thinking I’m still dreaming.”
She rolls her eyes, but does as he asks, and soon her anxiety starts seeping out of her and she falls into his arms. He wraps her up tight and kisses her hair. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
“How do you know?” she asks, her voice muffled by his shoulder.
Josh rubs her back firmly. “Because it’s you and me,” he murmurs, kissing her temple. “We’re the best team in the world. We can definitely put Matt Santos back in office and raise a baby. No problem.”
“What about after that though?”
“Donna, we’ll figure it out.”
“You are White House Chief of Staff, Josh,” she argues and pulls back to look at him. “That has to be your priority. We’ve made this work because I understand what the job needs from you and we work in the same building, but I can’t do this by myself, I’ll—”
“Hey,” he soothes, his brows knitting together as he draws her to sit back down. She curls up on his lap and he can feel her tears starting to soak through his shirt. “You’re not doing anything by yourself. I’m right beside you the entire time, Donna. Every sonogram, every appointment, every episode of morning sickness, the baby shower - I’m there.”
“But—”
“There is no but. You’re my family. You have always been the priority. That’s why this works. Not because you understand the job requirements, but because I work hard during the day so I can come home to you.” He moves her hair behind her shoulders and massages the base of her neck. “The one thing I know for certain that you will never, ever have to worry about is me and my involvement, okay? You’re not doing this alone.”
She sniffs and picks her head up and Josh wipes under her eyes before kissing her softly. “You’re sure?” she asks, her voice small and still skeptical. ”This job is your whole life, Josh. You’re finally doing what you were always meant to do. I feel like I’m taking it away from you.”
“Okay,” he says, sitting them both up straight so he can look her in the eye. “When did procreation become a single-party experience?” She rolls her eyes, but it spurs him on further. “I’m serious, Donna. I’m pretty sure I was there at the time of conception just as much as you were. We know birth control isn't 100% effective and if it happened the night that I’m thinking of, then we didn’t really stand a chance with only a single line of defense anyway.”
A smile peeks out on her face and Josh grows smug when she pulls at his shirt to get him closer. “You were in excellent form that night,” she murmurs.
“You weren’t alone when it happened, baby. You’re not gonna be alone now, either.”
She lets out a big breath and hugs him again. “It’s gonna be really hard.”
“Yeah.”
“We have a lot to do between now and then.”
“I know.”
“Like moving and doctor visits and running a presidential campaign.”
“Why don’t I have someone else run the campaign?”
She pulls back and stares at him like he just grew a second head. “What?”
Josh shrugs. “Leo brought in outside guys for Bartlet’s re-election, why can’t I?”
“Because we were dealing with MS last time and needed help. Your approval numbers are in the mid 60s, you don’t need help.”
“Yeah, but this changes things. And it's not really practical to be a campaign manager on top of being Chief of Staff. I was considering bringing on a team anyway.”
“Josh,” she groans, “don’t do this to me.”
“Don't do what?”
“Get all valiant and noble,” she says, gesturing toward him. “It’s 2:30 in the morning, I’m pregnant, and I’m tired. I can’t counter you properly right now. Let’s just go back to bed. We can talk more tomorrow.”
He sighs, but follows her willingly to the bedroom. They slip under the covers and she shivers from the coldness creeping in from outside as Josh pulls her close. His hand sneaks under her shirt and palms her belly. “There’s a baby in there,” he whispers, rubbing her skin softly.
“Well, right now it’s barely a little blob, really.”
He grins. “Our little blob.” He continues his motion, his thumb brushing back and forth. Donna’s just about to tip over the edge of sleep when he speaks again. “I’ll give it up if I have to.”
She doesn’t say anything as she opens her eyes to look at him. His face is so open and honest and she swallows when she sees he means what he’s said. “I won’t ask you to.”
“You’re not asking. I’m telling you.” He slides his hand up to her cheek and tries to see her the best he can in the dark. “You’re my whole life, Donna. Not the job, not the president, not the White House. You. I will do everything I can to make it all work, but if I have to give something up, it’ll be that office next to the Oval.”
“Josh…”
“You really think I could live with myself if I missed out on my child being born? Or their first word or first steps?” Donna sighs and shakes her head because no he could not and she knows it. “Good,” he says, pulling her onto his chest as he lays down. “It’s settled then.”
“It is far from settled, Joshua,” she mumbles, but she’s too tired to fight him on it.
“We’ll see,” he says, his voice cocky as he rubs her back.
He matches her breathing and his mind starts to whir, a smile growing bigger and bigger on his face as the realization hits him that they’re going to be parents. Suddenly everything he’s been worrying about; re-election, money here, pull out there, all just seems so trivial. He just became the most important thing he’ll ever be and he doesn’t care what anyone says or thinks - he’s being a father to this kid even if that means giving up his job. An hour ago, he was thinking how they needed to sleep for a big re-election meeting tomorrow, but now he’s thinking maybe Donna should just go half days so she can rest. He’s already got a list of suburbs they should move to. He’ll have to have his assistant get him a good realtor so they can start looking right away. If they’re lucky, they can find a house in a couple months and get the move settled before she’s in her third trimester.
He’ll need to get her to a doctor soon, too. He leans over to grab his phone so he can make a note to call Andy tomorrow for the best OB/GYN in DC. Then he makes a list of things they’ll need like a crib and one of those changing tables and a rocking chair, plus clothes and diapers and some sort of cream. Don’t babies use a lot of creams?
He lays there in the dark, typing away on his phone and making lists and plans for the next 9 months and beyond. He figures he’ll need to make a decision about Chief of Staff in the next few months for the secret service factor alone. If they buy a new house, they’ll need more time for the agents to make their adjustments and on one hand, he wants the added protection for his family, but on the other, it just doesn’t seem feasible to raise a baby with this job. It's too unpredictable and even with him actively trying to keep a routine so he can actually have a life, he still only gets to have dinner with Donna three, maybe four times a week if he’s lucky.
The sun starts to come up, but he doesn’t notice, now fully delved into school districts and whether or not they should even stay in the city past a certain point. Maybe Donna had plans to move back to Wisconsin. He can slap on a cheesehead hat if he needs to.
“Josh?”
He peers over at her, having gone to grab his computer around 4, and he sits up further. “Morning.”
“What the hell are you doing?” she mutters, blinking up at him. “Did you stay up all night?”
“Look at these houses, honey,” he says and turns the laptop so she can see. “And they’re in the good school district. Our commute would get longer, but I mean, look at the master bath on this one.”
“Josh,” she says again, sitting up fully. She grabs the laptop from him and shuts it before putting it at the end of the bed. “You have a huge meeting today and you got no sleep.”
“I know it’s early, but I think we should just start buying stuff now because we both know I have no idea how to build a crib. Maybe Lou does,” he reaches for his phone and starts typing again. “She seems like someone who would know how to build a crib, doesn't she?”
“Lou doesn’t have kids.”
“I’ll ask her anyway.”
“Josh,” she tries again, grabbing his face and forcing him to look at her. “You’re round the bend. I need you to pull it together.”
“I am pulled together,” he argues. “We don’t have much time until the baby gets here, Donna. We have a lot to do, so I made a plan.”
“How many points does this plan have?”
“Sixteen, but I think I can get it down to twelve before lunch.”
“Josh,” she sighs and drops her hands from his face to flop onto her back. “You have a major meeting today to kick off re-election and you're gonna be thinking about swing sets and diapers.”
“A swing set!” he exclaims, grabbing his phone again. “Maybe I can get Sam to help me with that one.”
Donna wrenches the phone out of his grasp and tosses it on her bedside table. “Enough with the planning. We have to get ready for work.”
She’s waylaid by Josh’s hand on her arm. “That’s another point in the plan. I think you should take it easy.” He pulls her back to him. “Until we see a doctor at least. I was gonna call Andy for a recommendation.”
“You can’t call Andy, Josh. We can’t tell anyone yet.”
He frowns. “Why not?”
“It’s bad luck. We can tell our mothers and that’s it. Everyone else doesn’t find out until after the first trimester. It’s when bad things are most likely to happen.”
“What bad things?” he asks, freaked out now.
“I’m sure everything is fine and I already have a doctor. I have lived in DC as a uterus carrying person for over ten years, you know.”
“We need to make the appointment now,” he stresses and tries to reach across her for his phone, but she stops him.
“Do you realize you still haven’t kissed me good morning?” she asks, looking at him expectantly. “Not even a little one.”
He stops mid-movement and looks at her a little sheepishly before bending down and kissing her softly. “Good morning,” he whispers and she pulls him to her again.
“Stop thinking about everything else right now,” she orders firmly as she cradles him between her legs. “I’ll call the doctor on the way to work and we will look at a thousand houses if you want, but right now, I just want you to focus on me.”
Josh smiles a little devilishly and situates himself over her. “Are you demanding my full attention?”
“Yes, I am,” she says shamelessly and wraps her legs around him. He leans in again, but her eyes go wide and she pushes on his shoulders.
“What’s wrong?”
She blinks and her face smoothes out as she shakes her head and pulls him in to kiss him again. He moves his hand under her shirt until she freezes again and this time pushes him all the way off so she can swing out of the bed. He watches, confused, as she rushes to the bathroom and he follows after a moment when he hears the toilet lid be pushed up.
He sits on the side of the tub to hold her hair back and rubs her shoulder as the morning sickness takes over and once it’s run its course, she leans against his legs and wipes her mouth with a piece of toilet paper. She catches her breath and looks up at him with her chin on his knee.
“Sorry,” she mumbles, but he shakes his head.
“It’s kinda my fault.” Donna grins and he helps her stand all the way up. “Okay?”
She nods and swishes some Listerine in her mouth from the sink, but his brow is still furrowed in concern. “Josh, I’m fine. It should go away in a few weeks.”
He starts to nod and gets distracted when she peels her shirt off. He sees her smirk, but he doesn’t care. His sightline is stuck on her boobs and he can’t believe he didn’t realize what was going on sooner. “They’re bigger,” he says dumbly and she starts to laugh. “I mean… they’re a lot bigger.”
“Josh,” she calls as she strips off her pajama bottoms and underwear. “Are you just gonna stand there or are you joining me?”
He pulls off his shirt automatically. “Is it safe?”
“To shower while pregnant?” He gives her a sardonic look and she grins again. “We can still have sex,” she assures him while grabbing his hand. “You won’t hurt me.”
“But what about—”
“I told you to stop thinking about everything else.”
“Well, when you start puking your brains out, it’s hard not to worry.”
“You’re sweet,” she murmurs once they're both in the steaming shower. “And I know you’re going to be an incredible dad. But right now, I need you to focus on the fact that I’m naked and very horny right now.”
Josh hums when she brings his hands up to fondle her breasts. “Okay,” he breathes. “I can do that.” He leans in to kiss her while softly pinching her nipples, making her gasp. “But we’re calling the doctor on the way to the office.”
She smiles against his lips, amused by his side of the compromise, and runs her fingers into his hair, getting lost in the feeling he’s giving her. He kisses her for a long moment and runs his fingertips up and down her sides and across her belly. Her stomach quivers when he rests his palm against her and it makes her sigh.
“Josh.”
“Yeah,” he says, his voice muffled as he kisses across her shoulder.
“We’re having a baby,” she whispers and she feels a giant swell inside of her body at the thought. She hasn’t really had time to process, but she can’t stop the smile stretching across her face at the thought of a miniature sized person — half her and half Josh. Her eyes widen. “Oh my God, I have to go to the doctor. And we need to buy a crib and a house! I don’t have time to—”
“Donna,” he says calmly, rubbing her arms as she has a mild freak out. “I have it all under control.”
“The 16 point plan?”
“I’ll show it to you on the way to work, but for right now…” he trails off and crowds her against the ceramic wall. “I want you to focus on me.” He kisses her. “Can you do that?”
She chases after his lips when he pulls away, that thrum of pure want still sitting low in her abdomen, and he smiles before returning to his prior exploration of her breasts. She moans quietly and squirms a little when he flicks her nipple. “Yeah, I think I can do that.” She whimpers when one of his hands slides lower and lower, making her sigh again. “But I’m picking the realtor.”
He huffs, but doesn’t stop his ministrations. “Fine.”
He’ll change her mind later.