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His phone is ringing. It’s ass o'clock in the morning, and his phone is ringing. Xiao wants to break it.
But because phones are expensive and Xiao actually values having the money to eat for the next month, he doesn’t crack it open on the floor.
He swings his right arm out, paws for it, and brings it back to hold the phone above his head. He has half a mind to just ignore the call, but the number and caller ID make his blood run cold.
Xiao picks up the phone.
“Hello?”
“My name is Meng and I’m calling today as your herald,” the caller says quietly. Morose. “You’ve been marked.”
Xiao sticks up his left arm and eyes the dark ink that curls around his forearm warily. “I see.”
“I’m very sorry for your loss.” It’s almost sincere. This man has a heart and he’s a herald. Xiao wants to laugh. “I would like to let you know about all the amenities available to you as one of the Marked.”
Now, Xiao does laugh. He huffs slightly and says as politely as he can, “No, thank you. I have no need for those.”
Then he hangs up, drops his phone beside him, rolls over, and goes back to sleep.
——
The sun’s nearly up as the stars retreat from it, the sky streaking with colour. Venti yawns, his back aching as he stretches. Spending a whole night curled up in a chair working isn’t the bright idea he’s ever had, and as his phone rings, he figures it’s Diluc calling to scold him for it.
“Before you yell at me, I’ll have you know that I was very productive today.”
“Sir, I’m not here to yell at you.” The cool, detached voice is decidedly not Diluc’s. Venti wraps his cardigan closer around himself.
“Then you are here for, what? An autograph?”
“You’ve been marked, sir.”
Not a friend, not a fan. “You’re a herald,” Venti says softly as he nudges the sleeve of his cardigan to see the dark mark on his arm.
“Yes. My name is Eula. I’m sorry for your loss. I would like to inform you of the amenities available to you as one of the Marked.”
“Amenities,” he echoes. “No offense, because you seem like an awfully boring person, but there’s nothing you guys can give me that I can’t already get. You called me, so you know who I am, right? Thank you, though.” The arrogance in his words is palpable, but he doesn’t particularly care anymore.
Venti hangs up, rubbing his eyes. Twenty four hours, and then nothing will matter.
———
It’s nearly midday when Xiao wakes up again. He checks his phone. The call was real, real and four hours ago. Twenty left, then.
Dragging himself out of bed, Xiao feels a lightness in his step. The same exhaustion is there, but he puts on comfortable clothes and walks out of his apartment, and for the first time in months, heads somewhere other than the store he works at. Worked . He’s almost giddy at the idea as he stops for a cup of coffee before making his way towards the park.
It’s a beautiful day, Xiao thinks. Kids run and play, the sun is brighter than ever, and oh, the world is beautiful. It’s beautiful and it goes on because people die every day and there’s no time to stop for anyone, let alone him.
He’s strangely okay with it. He’s not a philanthropist that saved millions, not a villain who destroys lives, but he has existed and he spent his time. Perhaps it wasn’t the best life he could have had, but Xiao’s hand of cards were shoddy. The sun rises and falls, just like his chest, but the only difference is that today, the latter will stop.
He sips his coffee.
“I’m telling you, I don’t care, Diluc. It doesn’t ma—“
Someone slams into Xiao from behind and the cup flies out of his grasp, splashing across the walkway. He watches the brown droplets scatter across the mortar of the tiles.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there, it’s just that today is—“
“It’s fine,” Xiao says, meaning it. Normally, he’d be more upset because coffee costs money and he’s already short enough on it as is, but when he has nothing to save for, it doesn’t matter. “I’ll get another.”
“Please, let me.” The stranger extends a hand, tilting his head. Xiao stares for a moment, then shakes his head.
“It’s really not an issue.”
Eyes of emerald flick up and down. Xiao feels like he’s being scrutinized as the stranger smiles, tinged with some emotion he can’t place. “You’re marked, then.”
Instinctively, he glances down to check that his sleeve fully covers his arm, which it does not. The last star in his constellation sticks out. The stranger follows his gaze back up to meet Xiao’s eyes, his grin turning cheeky as he waves his hand, the sleeve slipping down enough to reveal the dark band around his wrist.
“I’m Venti. Do you mind dying together?”
Xiao stills, but the world around them goes on.
——
The first thing the stranger asks is, “Why me?“
Venti shrugs. “You’re not at the center.” Rare was it, to encounter a Marked person who wasn’t at one of the centers. “Also, you’re quite pretty. Dying with my last sight being your face wouldn’t be so bad.” It’s half a fib. The stranger is cute, and Venti would be lying if he said that he didn’t have a purely aesthetic attraction to him. But he’s not so naive as to think he’s the main character of a dramatic love story where they fall in love with nothing to lose. There was a glimmer of recognition in the stranger’s eyes when he first saw Venti but he didn’t press. He values someone who can respect a famous person’s privacy.
“Are you… flirting?” The growing redness on the other’s face is amusing. Venti fights to keep his grin off his face, settling for a playful half smile.
Another shrug. “It’s the last day we have alive. Why not?”
“Because nothing good comes from starting something on the last day.”
“Good or bad outcomes don’t really matter today.” Venti offers his hand. “What do you say?”
“...My name is Xiao,” he says, taking the hand carefully.
“I’m Venti.” As Xiao opens his mouth, he continues, “Yes, famous Venti, no, it’s not being announced.”
“I was going to ask why no one recognizes you.”
“Makeup. But really, do I look like a famous idol right now?” He gestures to his hoodie and jeans, the stained shoes. All of his comfy clothes. His signature twin braids are undone, pinned back and the cyan tips are hidden by the hood.
“Fair enough. So, what now?”
“A bucket list.” At the look Xiao gives him, Venti quickly defends himself, “Not like the ones you’re thinking of! I—“ He takes a breath. How much does he want to tell this stranger? Venti deliberates and then realizes he literally has nothing to lose. “Have you ever had your entire life controlled?”
“That’s a loaded question,” Xiao mutters. “Not really.”
“I spend every second of my days following a schedule. If I’m late, the company loses money. If I’m tired, the company loses money. If I do anything but be perfectly on time, the company loses money. When the company loses money, I have to work harder.” He twirls a finger in the air. “It’s a cycle. But this little mark has freed me from all of that. So I want to spend my day living normally.”
“Like one of us commoners.”
Venti purses his lips. “You’re blunt.”
“It’s a day for bluntness.”
“Touché.”
“So, this bucket list?”
Venti hums, thinking of what he’d like to do. “Ride a bus. My parents never let me go anywhere without them driving me. Oh, and see the stars. I grew up in the city and the lights never shut off here. They must be beautiful.”
“They are.”
“You’ve seen them before?”
“I grew up in a tiny town a ways away from here. There’s a forest where the lights don’t reach and the stars are clearest there. You’ll never see anything like it.” Xiao’s eyes glitter with affection as he talks about it and Venti notices with a start how pretty that gold is.
“Take me.”
“Is that a question or a demand?”
“Whichever you’ll agree to.”
“You’re incorrigible. Sure, we can go.” Xiao makes to walk away, but freezes. “Do you really want to spend your last day waiting for it to end? It’s barely past midday.”
“If you’d like to do something else, I don’t mind.” Venti tilts his head. “I’ve got oodles of money that I’m perfectly happy to spend on you.”
“No, no, thanks.” A thoughtful expression crosses Xiao’s face. “It’ll be nice to go home. There’s no one left there to remember me, but I still remember it.”
“Then it’s a plan.” Venti smiles and it feels genuine for the first time in months.
——-
The bus they get on is all but empty.
“Tiny town,” Xiao explains. “No one goes there, really.”
No one except a nostalgic person and a famous idol, apparently. And the little old couple sitting at the back, whispering to one another.
Venti followed behind him the whole time as he purchased their tickets and booked the ride. The way he peeped over Xiao’s shoulder reminded him of a little duckling and even now, the wondrous gaze the idol fixes everything with displays the sheltered life he’d lived.
The dingy seats, the wear and tear of the handrails, the floor, all of which Venti takes in with humongous eyes.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Xiao says as they sit down.
“Nothing is meant to last for us, Xiao.” Venti sweeps over the bus with a mournful gaze. “But… A photo would be nice.”
“Of us?”
“Yeah. When we’re gone, there’ll be no one left to remember us, remember this. It’s strangely comforting to have it immortalized in some way.”
It’s a sentiment that Xiao shares. There’s no way to preserve him, his personal effects not being all that personal, no one around him who would bother to remember. So he holds up his phone and they strike a pose, Venti grinning all the while. As they inspect the ensuing photo, Xiao says, “You’ll be remembered, you know. You’re famous.”
“I’m an idol. That’s all they’ll remember. Me, not so much. I don’t mean to complain about my perfect life, but I lived in a sterilized world. Everything I did was carefully arranged, like a set in a film.”
Xiao cuts him off by playing one of Venti’s own tracks.
“Hey!”
It’s cheesy and bubblegum pop and nothing like the person who sits in front of him right now. Through the shitty speakers of Xiao’s phone, it sounds more than a little ominous when Xiao stares at the Venti across from him and back down at the idol on the screen. “You’re… really not anything like this.”
“Did you think I was actually running around in a grocery store?”
“I’m saying you could probably sing this right now and still be entirely different.”
“The person in that video died when I got the call this morning.” Venti’s voice rings with a hint of melancholy but there’s a weightlessness to his words that suggests how free he truly is, now and then. “So I’m here now!”
“Yeah, you’re here,” Xiao echoes. “Y’know,” I had a plan this morning. My life was always ‘do this, do that’ without a moment’s rest, so I’d die peacefully. Have a lazy morning, go out and see some things I haven’t in a while, then sleep until I don’t wake up. But you,” he flicks Venti’s nose, “you are a calamity. A storm that blew into my very short life. There’s no way I can die peacefully now. You’d annoy me the whole way.”
From behind his hands, which he'd clapped over his nose when Xiao flicked it, Venti asks, “Am I annoying?”
“In a good way. But I wouldn’t be surprised if my cause of death is you yammering away.”
“We can try.”
Xiao raises an eyebrow. “And here I thought you wanted to die together.”
“Well, I’d go from boredom as soon as you kicked the bucket.” Venti throws his hands up dramatically, stretching, then falling limp against the seat. “You’re the most interesting thing that’s happened to me in a while.”
“As far as I recall, you happened to me .”
“Irrelevant details.”
“You are such a pain.” Xiao dings Venti on the head, eliciting a wail of pain.
“You’re such a brute! If I’d have known, I wouldn’t have picked you!” Venti reaches over to hit back but Xiao dodges, trying to keep the smile from his face.
“You’ve gotta be faster than that, city boy.”
“Shut up and let me hit you!”
——-
Eventually, they settle down. Raucous yelling turns to quiet conversation, which turns to a comfortable lull.
It lasts for a while, until Xiao says, “You don’t seem upset that we’re dying.” There’s a curiosity in his tone that tells Venti that he’d been wondering. It’s not a surprise. Mega famous pop star, and all that. Bound to spark some questions.
“It’s fate. Just that. Fate isn’t something to be fought against or denied. Acceptance is the only thing you can do, so I accepted it.” Venti pauses. “Mind if I am a little cynical?”
Xiao huffs, a sound that’s barely a laugh. It strikes Venti suddenly that he wants to hear Xiao laugh fully. “If there’s a day for cynicism, it’s today.”
“You’re right. But I figure that I’m about as famous as one can get. Sure, maybe I can make more money, get more well known, but my life won’t change that much. All that’s left for me now is to get old, lose popularity, and die. Why stick around for that?”
Venti shrugs. “In the end, it doesn’t really affect my life.”
“I’d say dying has a pretty big effect,” Xiao says, leaning back. His voice dances with amusement, so he’s not turned away by Venti’s stance on death. A relief, because if he spent this much of his day with someone who would scoff at his disregard for life, Venti would live a full year just out of spite for the stars.
“It does, but I don’t mind. It doesn’t affect me as a person. I got everything I ever wanted. You, on the other hand, seem normal. What’s up with that?”
Another laugh, bigger this time. “Normal. You can say that.” He exhales slowly. “You can say I’m your opposite, really. No one particularly cares about me and I work a dead-end job. My only option other than dying is work. This thing,” Xiao raises his arm, “just speeds up the process.”
Venti feels terrible. Here he is, bragging about his money and how he can die young and happy, and Xiao just listens to him while suffering because he has no other choice. His distress must show on his face though, because Xiao waves him off.
“No, you don’t get to pity me.”
“I know.”
“I mean there’s no point. I’m dying, you’re dying, we’re equal. Your money means nothing.”
“My money could’ve given you a reason to live. You could be standing here, crying about how it’s your last day because you have so many prospects, so much to want. Meanwhile, it’s going to waste for a person who doesn’t want it.”
“In the end,” Xiao jabs a finger upward, “those guys? Those stars have woven our fate for centuries. You got your hand and I got mine. None of this is your fault. I’m better off not mourning my own death. No one else will, anyway.”
“I’ll mourn it,” Venti says. “Not that you died, because who knows if I’ll even be around to mourn you, but I’ll mourn your life and all of the things it could have been. I want,” he swallows, “I wish I could have freed you.”
Xiao smiles drily. “You care more about me than my own parents, and we’ve known each other for, what—“
Venti grabs his hand before he can lift his phone to check. “No more checking the clock. I don’t want to know how much time is left. Foreboding isn’t a good feeling, anyways.”
He hesitates a moment, the words dancing in his mind. But today, all his inhibitions are gone, so he forges ahead. “As for me caring about you? It’s not my fault you’re stupidly handsome and nice and funny and genuine, because Archons know people don’t treat me like a person after they know my name, and maybe, maybe I’m an idiot, but I care about you.”
“You’re absolutely an idiot.” And Xiao starts laughing, truly laughing, and just as Venti thought, it’s a wonder to hear. Enough that he all but confessed to Xiao, who is laughing at him , and Venti isn’t even upset. That upset.
As his laughter subsides, Xiao says, “But I am too.”
Then he kisses Venti.
It’s sweet and gentle at first, but both of them realize that time isn’t a luxury they have, and it’s intense and possessive, like they want to grab on and never let go. Venti never, ever wants to let go of Xiao.
Passion is a flame. It burns bright and fizzles out just as quickly. Venti is determined to burn brighter than every star in their damned sky.
——-
He fell in love. Xiao fell in love and he’s going to die today.
He’s an Archons-damned idiot. All this to add to the tragedy that is his life. Was his life.
But he looks at Venti, sees the giggles that burst from him like he doesn’t even expect it, his kindness and boldness, the grin that made him a worldwide star, and he’s helpless. Seeing stars. Falling prey to a spell that’s been cast on the whole world.
Xiao never dreamed before. Pragmatism got him through life without being the sad little orphan he should have been. Don’t look farther than your station and you won’t be upset. That included not dreaming of a better life, and Archons, is he dreaming now.
He carries chains around like they’re parts of his body and he’s finally let go of them, only to trade them for wings that he can’t use. He yearns, wants, and begs for a future but knows he can’t have. Or deserve, really.
“You made me fall in love with you,” Xiao accuses gently.
Venti giggles. “You did the same to me. Though I can’t say I’m upset.” He toys with the edge of the seat.
“I’m not either.”
Both of them ignore that loving each other means losing each other. They trade smiles that are bittersweet, but they pretend are simply sweet. In this world of theirs, they’re the example of prime young love. Not a tragic tale. Never.
The bus jerks to a halt.
Venti is the first to get up, his legs somehow not jelly from sitting for so long. “Shall we?”
Xiao takes his hand.
The driver gives them a kind look as they walk off, likely overhearing them. He refuses the money and waves goodbye as they stand at the stop.
“So, tour guide,” Venti says in the moments that follow. “where to?”
“It’s a ways away. We have to get away from town and the light pollution, so more walking.”
“Can we rent a bike?”
Xiao blinks, and suddenly they’re buying a bike, because neither of them know if they’ll be able to return it.
It’s not until they wheel it to the road leading to the forest that Xiao realizes they’ve made a critical error.
“We have a bike.”
“We do, yes.”
“ A bike. There’s two of us.”
Xiao watches the cogs turn in Venti’s brain. “Shit.” Then he claps his hands together. “Modern problems require modern solutions.” He points to the bike. “Get on.”
“What?”
“Get on!” Venti repeats, smiling widely. There’s a sense of unease that takes over Xiao, but he listens anyway.
——
It was a well founded feeling, Xiao thinks, as they hurtle down the road with Venti perched on the handlebars and Xiao veering wildly as he tries not to crash.
Maybe he forgot there was a slight downhill for most of the way. Maybe.
“This was a terrible idea!” He shouts over the wind and the sound of Venti’s laughter.
“This is the most fun I’ve ever had!”
“I hate you!”
They swerve to narrowly avoid a pothole and Venti nearly tips over, his white knuckles gripping the handlebars for his life. He screams, an exhilarated laugh bubbling out of him, and Xiao feels the adrenaline coursing through his veins, enough for him to relax, enjoying the harrowing ride as the bike skids over the pavement, the uneven road littered with bumps and rocks.
It’s hard not to, the wind cutting on his skin as they fly over the ground like they’re barely touching it, it courses through his hair and he feels like he’s breathing in for the first time. It’s crisp and cold and Xiao is high on whatever is running through him right now, high on Venti’s giggles that sound like windchimes. He’s dumb with the thrill and he does things he never thought he would before and Venti, his Venti, is the catalyst to all of this. Xiao is living more than ever, on the day he’s going to die.
He flings his arms wide, stabilizing the ride. They don’t wobble, they don’t crash, but Xiao breathes so deep he can feel the oxygen spreading through his body. His blood pumps and his heart races and Venti is whooping and cheering, and they’re young and stupid and in love and alive .
After a couple close calls, the ride levels out, enough for Xiao to finally pull the bike to a slower pace, hands firmly back on the handlebars.
“We lived,” Venti says, giggling.
“We did. Somehow.” He’s back to pedaling, the scenery passing slower now, farms and flat plains rolling out before them.
“I was at least seventy percent sure that that would be how we were gonna go out.”
“I wouldn’t have minded.”
“Me either. I’m still all bouncy from that, it’s like I wanna get up and run through a field.” Venti tilts his head. “Stop the bike.”
“You’re not seriously gonna run through there right?” Xiao asks, slowing to a halt. Lowering the kickstand, he hops off as Venti does. “People own that land.”
“Nope.” Venti straddles their bike. “Your turn. Up you go.”
“Onto the—“ Venti nods. “—Fine.” Xiao maneuvers his way up, shifting until he settles somewhat comfortably.
Venti lets out a little, “Oomph,” as he begins to pedal.
“Are you struggling?” Xiao asks, amused at the pace they’re going.
“If you’re implying I’m not fit,” Venti says between pants, “I’ll have you know training was part of my schedule. I am very good at cardio.”
“Then how come we’re going slower than that snail there?”
“Shut up! It’s not my fault. You had a downhill, and you weigh more than me.”
Xiao snorts. “I have muscle. You’re all skin and bones.”
“I worked out.”
“Not enough.” Xiao swings his foot down, skidding it against the pavement to halt them. “Hold on.” He slips behind Venti and pushes, hands on his shoulders, before breaking into a fast walk, then a jog, and a run.
Using Venti as leverage, he jumps and lands squarely on the pegs, standing tall. To his credit, Venti doesn’t waver when he does so, the bicycle remaining steady. “There we go,” Xiao says.
“Show off,” Venti grumbles, but they speed up, momentum on their side. The sights pass by them blurring into a mess of colours and Xiao closes his eyes. None of this is worth remembering. What is memory anyway, when you have no time to look back? Every moment that passes is shaded in nostalgia, sepia and faded. All of it filed away, all of it slipping away with each second that goes by, slipping away until what remains of him is naught but dust in the wind.
He hopes that these seconds mean something.
He knows that the only person who can preserve him as he is will not be able to.
He holds on tighter to Venti.
———-
“Stop here,” Xiao says and Venti listens. He’s slightly out of breath from the ride, but it’s refreshing in a way nothing ever is in his life.
They hop off, Xiao wheeling the bike to the side of the road and laying it down. He tugs a pen and receipt from his pocket and scribbles down a note.
“Free. Lightly used,” Venti reads out from over his shoulder. “This isn’t a garage sale. Xiao. I’m sure anyone would take a random bike if it was here.”
“I might as well. Come on.”
Xiao takes Venti by the hand like it’s second nature and leads him through a half trodden path through the forest.
It occurs to him now that he’s never been in a forest either. The trees ripple out in shades of red, orange, and yellow, all set ablaze by the setting sun. It mustn’t be that late in the day, but as winter makes its way into this world, the sky and trees act as its herald.
It calls for short days and longer nights and Venti can only hope that he doesn’t go out with the sun. The stars must be beautiful. It’d be a shame to miss it.
He had said earlier not to worry about time, to think of the seconds slipping away in his hourglass. But with the sun as a stark reminder of time and its inevitability, Venti feels his chest tighten. “Xiao,” he says.
“Hm?”
“Run with me. Please.”
Xiao doesn’t ask questions— do they have time for questions?— and he breaks into a sprint, pulling Venti along.
His legs are still tired from pedaling, but it’s an ache that hurts good. It makes him feel real, in the same way that his feet pounding the earth does. The floaty feeling of knowing your life is on a timer is nothing in the face of sore limbs and hard rock. He’s breathless in a way that feels like loving Xiao and living a thousand lives in a moment’s time.
Down a slope, over an encroaching root, under a branch and around a great oak.
Xiao stumbles to a halt as they run into a grassy clearing, Venti not entirely back in control of himself as he tries to do the same, failing to actually do so.
They collide and go tumbling to the ground, and Venti is laughing.
He’s not sure what it is that sets him off, but the rush and the thrill and the exhilaration has all caught up to him and he’s giggling uncontrollably on the grass.
“What are you laughing at?” Xiao asks. Venti can hear the amusement that dances in his voice. It only makes him laugh harder as a gust blows through the clearing, scattering leaves in the colour of fire all over them.
It’s euphoric, really.
——-
“You would look nice in a crown,” Venti says as his laughter wanes, staring at Xiao. There was something oddly dreamy about him for the last while, caught in the whirls of his own mind. It seems he’s back to earth now, back to himself.
“A crown? We’re not in the olden days, Venti.”
He tosses a blade of grass at Xiao, not that it ever reaches him, though. “I meant a flower crown. There’s so many wildflowers here. I can make a pretty good one.”
“Then do it.”
“They’ll die,” Venti says softly, brushing his fingertips over soft petals. “I don’t think I should cut their lives short just because ours are.”
“We can afford to be a little selfish. Mother Nature won’t mind.” Venti thinks hard, little furrows in his brow appearing that Xiao has an inexplicable urge to poke.
He doesn’t get to, because Venti sighs and apologizes to the flowers. “I’ll do it. Sorry little guys.”
He hums under his breath as he dances his fingers above the flowers, deliberating over which to choose like an artist choosing paint. Eventually, Venti decides, stealing little glances that Xiao returns with a smile.
“I’m not going anywhere, you can look longer.”
“Shut up,” Venti swats him playfully. “I’m not trying to check you out, I wanna know what would look nice in your hair. The teal dye is changing my plan a little.”
“Didn’t think you thought this hard about anything.”
“Not until you.”
“Flirt.”
“And what about it?” Venti asks smugly, hands still weaving the crown together. as he looks up at Xiao proper this time, thoroughly checking him out.
Xiao lasts all of three seconds under that look before he pushes Venti's face away and sits up. “Stop that. Your prince is waiting for his crown.”
“Yes, milord.” A beat passes before Venti bursts into giggles again. “I never thought I’d hear you of all people refer to yourself as a prince.”
“Oh, shut it,” Xiao says, reddening. But he can’t help his own laughter that joins in, echoing in the empty forest.
———
It gets colder as night falls and Venti scoots over to steal some of Xiao’s body heat, one crown complete and on Xiao’s head as he works on the second, matching, one.
“You’re really sure it’s going to look nice? Looks like a whole lot of nothing to me.”
“Patience, Xiao,” Venti chides. And Xiao obeys, sits back, and waits. “Done!” The second crown is sloppier, but Venti doesn’t mind, knowing that the prettiest one adorns the head of the prettier one among them. He’s still proud of his handiwork, though, and shows it off to Xiao.
“Pretty. Like you.” Xiao kisses his cheek.
“Feeling bold, are we?”
“I’ve been wanting to do that.”
“And you call me a flirt.”
“You are.”
“Takes one to know one,” Venti shoots back.
“Shush and let me crown you.” Venti sits up obediently as Xiao takes the flowers from him and places it on his head with a tenderness that makes him want to cry. A moment of quiet passes before Venti says,
“Tell me about the stars.”
“Don’t you want to experience it for yourself?”
“I wanna hear what you think.” Venti leans into Xiao, tilting his head until he abruptly remembers the flowers of his head as they slide off.
Xiao nudges the crown back in place absentmindedly as he says, “They’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Golden eyes flick down to glance at him and Venti can read the words written in them. Until you . “It’s nothing like the ones you see just outside of the city. These ones are… bright and brilliant and they can light up the whole night. You don’t even need lights to see clearly.”
“You really love them, huh.”
A soft smile. “Yeah. It’s the one thing I’ve treasured for my whole life. Something I have that people like you don’t.”
“If I could, I’d buy them all. Spend every cent I’ve ever earned just so you could have them near. Anything you want.”
“Anything?”
“Anything.”
“What if,” Xiao shifts, cupping Venti’s face in a hand and bringing his own close, “What if I asked for you?”
“You already have me,” Venti replies, and it’s true. He has belonged to Xiao for less than twenty four hours and Archons, what a time it was.
They kiss and Venti feels his heart swell. He almost believes that love is enough.
——
They sit there for who knows how long, talking quietly. At one point, Venti dozes off, the adventure of today having caught up with him. Xiao, on the other hand, has been thrumming with energy for the whole day. Something incomplete, something unfinished, all of it tugs at him and keeps him awake. This day isn’t over. This life isn’t over.
So he stays awake as the sky goes from its vivid fiery mural to the still, all encompassing dark of night.
The endless abyss of stars is beautiful, to say the least. Xiao reaches out his arm, forgetting about the ugly black mark for a moment and pretends that the infinite void is closer, closer enough for him to reach out to the cruel stars that gave him the most precious thing in the world only to rip it away. He wants desperately to shove them aside, rewrite the fates etched in their constellations, and create a new one, one where they could live. Live, love, and not have to cherish every second like it could be their last, because it could. But his fingers only meet air and he’s helpless in the face of time’s march and fate’s design.
Xiao lets his hand drop. At his side, Venti stirs and Xiao takes a moment to admire the gentle lines sleep grants his face before nudging him awake. “Hey,” he whispers, not wanting to break the ethereal silence. “Night’s fallen.”
“It… Did I fall asleep?”
“Mmhm.”
Sleepy eyes blink once, twice. “‘M sorry, Xiao. I wanted to stay awake so I could remember every moment.”
“You’re cute when you sleep. Quieter,” Xiao teases, and Venti shifts to glare at him, no heat in those eyes.
“Rude.”
“Truthful. But look, Ven.” He motions towards the sky. Deep in the rural countryside, the stars are out in full force, granting their light on Xiao’s little world, enough that it’s barely even dark. It illuminates the soft planes of Venti’s face in a cool blue and Xiao watches as Venti turns his head towards the heavens, watches as green eyes widen to the point where Xiao sees the stars reflected in them, and falls in love a little more.
“Growing up in the city,” Venti says, never taking his eyes from the expanse, “I’ve barely seen stars beyond one or two, and only after staring up for a while. This is…”
The whole world is awash in a blue violet and Venti’s mouth falls open a little. “It’s something, isn’t it.”
Many moments pass, and while nothing of note happens, Xiao treasures them all the same. Dark hair glows in the starlight, the stars twinkle, and Xiao observes. Eventually, Venti notices the gaze.
“You’ve been looking at me.”
“You noticed.”
Venti purses his lips. “Despite all the stars. The ones that you love so.”
“Why should I care for them? I’ll meet them soon, but you, I’ll take and keep and store in the selfish confines of my memory. This you, Venti, is mine to remember.” Mine to lose .
Venti’s smile is muted. “I hope I’m memorable.”
Xiao leans down, Venti tilting his head to match. Just before their lips touch, he whispers, “Everything about you is memorable. To me, that's all I wish to know.”
The night sky is only a backdrop as they kiss, but Xiao hopes that the cruel stars are watching.
——
“Don’t wanna go.” Venti mutters into Xiao’s shoulder.
“We’ll freeze.”
“Not a bad way to go.”
Xiao has to agree, but still,
“I have one last thing to show you.”
At that, Venti lifts his head. Xiao sorely misses the warmth on his shoulder. “Where to?”
“You’ll see.”
“Tease,” Venti says, sticking his tongue out. But he gets up anyway, keeping his fingers intertwined with Xiao’s. “Lead the way, tour guide.”
The trip back through the forest isn’t nearly as fun as the first time, devoid of the magic from sprinting at golden hours as the sun performs its last hurrah for them. But it’s still fun, Venti throwing lame quips as they stroll through.
Time may not be on their side, but he’d be damned if he didn’t want to have a slow moment with Venti and pretend that their hourglasses aren’t running out. As they stumble over roots and bump into trees, he forgets for a second that gravity will bring them down to earth the same way the sand slips down.
The road is quiet. The roadside, quieter. Backlit by the stars, they walk hand in hand.
As the distant lights of the town near, Venti asks, “Is it far?”
“Not much more. The town is up ahead though, so the stars are going to fade.”
“We’re going into town?”
“Nearby, but not in.”
Venti opens his mouth to reply, but his expression twists at the last second. Whatever he says, it’s drowned out by the scream of tires.
Xiao feels Venti let go of his hand, feels the full weight of his body slam into Xiao’s own. He sees the world tilt from upright to horizontal, sees Venti’s mouth moving as he falls, sees smiling eyes that glow like jade in the darkness, rivaling every star in the night sky, and sees the fluttering of flower petals as the crown slips off his head. He hears the screeching of the tires when he desperately wishes to hear Venti’s voice.
He hits the grass, sees stars, and his eyes close.
——-
It hurts, to say the least.
A dull ache that spreads through his whole body, a sharp pain on his arms and cheek from where they skidded against the pavement.
Through the ringing in his ears and a splitting headache, Venti hears someone calling his name.
“Xiao,” he tries to say, but it hurts and his throat is suddenly too dry.
“Venti!”
He sees movement, and Xiao drops to his knees at his side. A gentle grasp pulls him up, cradles his head in his arms, and Venti breathes out, laying on Xiao’s lap. He just lays there and breathes as the pain subsides. No matter how gentle, it still hurts.
It hurts, and then it doesn’t.
“Venti,” Xiao whispers, and it’s a broken murmur that breaks Venti’s heart.
“I’m okay.” He lifts an arm to touch Xiao’s cheek, wiping the tears that stain the skin. “It doesn’t hurt.”
“That’s a bad sign, Venti.” But his voice doesn’t shake anymore and half a smile makes its way onto his face.
Venti doesn’t have anything to say to that. It’s cold and it doesn’t hurt, and he’s watched too much TV to know what that means.
Instead, Venti asks, “Are you afraid?” He asks because Xiao’s whole body trembles, which is unfair because Xiao isn’t the one dying. At least not yet.
“Of dying? No.” He shifts, resting his head against Venti’s. “Of losing you? Terrified. You, you made me love you too much. But I’m not a greedy person,” Xiao says, voice carrying every emotion that they’d felt throughout this day. “I’ve spent my life wanting nothing more, nothing less. But I’m selfish right now, I’m selfish because I have nothing to lose. Would you let me be greedy for you? Have all that you are, and give you all that I am in return?”
A tremor runs through Venti’s body. “You already have me. But—I wish we had time. I wish you could have me for longer. I wish that I could’ve lived with you. To be able to die with you is my greatest honour and happiness, but I wish that we didn’t meet at the very end, that we weren’t destined to see each other as we die. We were given one last hurrah, and please, I wish you could have me for longer than a last breath.” He traces the lines of Xiao’s arm with a dazed finger, trying to memorize every detail, the folds of his shirt, the warmth of his skin, and the little marks that pepper the porcelain. Signs of a life lived. He doesn’t dare let himself hold on, because there’s nothing to grasp. Venti would only be trying to keep sand from falling through his fingers.
“I love you, Venti. I love you as I met you, and I will love you long after. This,” Xiao brushes a stray hair away from Venti’s face, “is all that you could be and I will love that too.”
Against his better judgement, Venti curls his hands in the fabric of Xiao’s sleeve, holding back the sobs that threaten to tear him to shreds. He hasn’t cried all day. Not many of the Marked can say the same, but Venti fights the urge to lose his composure.
“You burned so bright, Venti.” Both of them ignore the use of past tense. That’s what he is now, isn’t he? “Ever since I met you, you were like starlight, shining so brightly amidst everything. And I’ll never forget you.”
“Not long, then,” Venti jokes and winces as he tries to laugh.
“Go say hello to the stars for me,” Xiao murmurs. “I’ll see you there.”
He cries then, because he can’t feel the pain anymore and he knows from those dramas he watches that that’s a bad sign. “I’ll miss you every second. Make me miss you for longer, okay?”
“I’ll try,” Xiao runs his hand through Venti’s hair, the touch barely there. “Goodnight, my starlight.”
He breathes in. Shakily, he breathes out.
——-
I had hope. I spent this life without hope for a brighter future and still, I hoped for one with you. I hoped against the stars’ design and against every odd in the book. Insanity is doing something over and over hoping for a different result. You told me that yourself. I guess I’m insane now, because every second of this day, I believed in a future without this damned brand on my arm and you beside me. But no matter how I blinked and tried to clear my eyes, it stayed and you’re gone.
“Venti,” Xiao whispers and it’s silent.
The driver of the car has apparently called an ambulance, the siren’s keening wail far too loud in the silence of the night. It’s a blur, really. People surround them, and there’s hands reaching to grab at him, to take Venti away and Xiao screams at them to get away, he only has so much time left, don’t take him away .
But there’s only one of him, his head hurts, his heart hurts, and there’s too many people. Someone guides him into the ambulance, sits him down. It’s all numb as they check him over. Someone else loads Venti into a bag, and that’s so wrong. Venti is larger than life and putting him in that little bag is only going to suffocate him and Venti has only ever wanted to breathe . Xiao wants to cry out, scream, but the doors close and they’re driving.
Where’s Venti?
The hospital is bright, too bright. How could they ever see the stars here? Someone clears him and he stumbles out of the hospital.
His feet lead him where they were planning to go.
Beyond the town streets, towards where the waves lap against the sand. It’s quieter here, but it’s not silent. Silence would drive Xiao insane.
He wanders on the pathways, to the overlook and boardwalk. It’s been years since he’d last seen this view.
The stars, dimmed by the city’s proximity, reflect on the water. Xiao leans onto the railing to see them up close, confront them and ask why they were only allowed one day. In another life they could have, should have, been happy. Why not this one?
His eyes are locked on their rippling, ever changing reflection on the glittering surface. He doesn’t look at the railing or the rotting wood that gives way under his weight.
Xiao doesn’t see it, and when he falls into the water’s embrace, his last sight is the stars.