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This is nothing more than a way to cope.
At least, that's what Fai tells himself. There could be other vices he could get addicted to to deal with the high pressure environment that he's stuck in. Drugs. Gambling. Alcohol. Cigarettes. But here he is instead, clad in nothing but an unbuttoned white shirt, lying on the meeting table of the Sing Lin Society as Max Siu fucks him. Max Siu, with his hands gripping Fai's thighs, fingernails leaving little red crescents into the skin.
This should not be happening. He should not be letting Max Siu fuck him, his body should not be enjoying this so much, least of all at such a place and yet... The elders of the triad had gathered around the table mere minutes ago. Max Siu's father, Old Master Cheung, had been seated at the head of the table as they discussed the triad's direction in the upcoming months. Din Gau's hologram flickered as he brought up the latest issues with drug development, of how the latest version had too many side effects that would deter potential clients from buying from them. Sum Ye had raised concerns about the increasing number of police raids on their nightlife establishments and Kong Tau had argued with Lok Ye, Max Siu and Biu Gor over the state of their organ farms. The argument had been fierce enough for Old Master Cheung to slam his fist on the table for the first time in years.
Kong Tau had been adamant that Sing Lin should ramp up their organ farming activities to make up for the inevitable shortfall from drugs. It was the largest source of Sing Lin's income, and under Max Siu, it had flourished with increasingly wealthy clients. Widespread organ failure by the age of 30 had drastically increased in the past decade, scientifically attributed to various causes from genetic modification to consumption of processed food. Companies around the world had developed robotic organs that mimicked the functions of human organs without the risk of rejection. However, there had been incidents of fatal mechanical failure caused by hackers who had managed to override the organs' protocols. New laws were enacted so that robotic organs could only be purchased from government approved vendors to ensure public safety, but citizens became increasingly paranoid. Would the robotic organs provide the government with yet another way of monitoring its people? Would Big Brother be watching eternally? Cloning had not been without its defects. Better to trust flesh organs that had been grown and incubated in a human shell to be used before they eventually failed.
While organ donation had remained legal, waiting lists for natural organs through such avenues had stretched on and on. The flesh organ black market had exploded in its aftermath, and Sing Lin had been one of the first to be a part of it.
Lok Ye had disapproved, for the farms operate as resorts owned by the Cheung Corporation. They are private facilities, on islands far away from Hong Kong. Lok Ye had taken over as chairman after Old Master Cheung's third organ failure had occurred. Max Siu had agreed, for farming organs thus far had not been easy. Speaking as the legal advisor for the Cheung Corporation, he had pointed out that expanding operations would mean yet another island to acquire, yet another resort in name to register, more facilities to build, but most importantly, more humans to procure.
The argument had ended only when Old Master Cheung had smashed Kong Tau's projector on the ground, causing the hologram to glitch and disappear. The rest of the elders had been in agreement afterwards — no need to rock the boat for now, best to expand only when things had stabilised for the designer drug Sing Lin is developing.
This room is where the secret meetings of the Sing Lin Society take place. This room, however, is also where Max Siu chooses to take Fai.
The door is unlocked. Old Master Cheung had ultimately stormed out of the room, and the rest of the elders and their men had followed suit. The sound of the door slamming shut had been Max Siu's cue to fist his hand in Fai's shirt and haul him up to his feet, pushing him on to the table. It had started with a heated kiss, with teeth and tongue, and Max Siu had practically ripped Fai's clothes off him.
They really, really shouldn't be doing this here. Anyone could walk in at any time, and this was where the Sing Lin Society had their meetings ever since the establishment of the society. The wooden table has seen two world wars, and the last thing it needs to see is Fai getting fucked open by Max Siu. But most of all, they shouldn't be doing this here, right under the watchful eye of Kwan Yee Gor, the martial god that both police officers and triad members worship and look to for protection.
Fai drops his gaze from the statue, instead focusing on Max Siu, whose glasses are slipping down his nose, dark brown hair falling into his eyes. Max Siu, in that bespoke navy blue suit, jacket unbuttoned, but still fully clothed even as he thrusts into Fai. He is all too intent on making sure that Fai comes all over himself as he reaches for Fai's cock, jerking him off. There isn't really a need to, given how Max Siu always knows what to do to make sure that Fai is moaning underneath him in pleasure. The angle's just right — Fai's pretty sure that he could come untouched.
'Ah Fai,' Max Siu groans, slamming into Fai more forcefully than before. 'You're mine. You don't belong to Sing Lin, you don't belong to anyone but me alone. Don't you ever forget that.'
'Max Siu,' Fai gasps. 'I'm yours.' It's exactly the right thing to do, because that's all it takes for Max Siu to come.
It doesn't take long for Fai to follow suit, with Max Siu's hand on his cock. When Fai comes, he makes the mistake of looking up at the statue of Kwan Yee Gor. The statue stares down at him, dark and threatening, left hand clenching his halberd.
The heavens are always watching your every move.
Fai should not be doing this. He shouldn't be here, shouldn't let Max Siu do this to him. This is the last thing Fai should be doing to cope, because fuck.
'PC32018. Have you forgotten? You're a UC. Do you know what being a UC means?'
'Yes Sir! Being a UC means I'm an undercover cop, Sir!'
'Undercover cop? How can you be an undercover cop? We selected you because you're the best of the best in your cohort in the Police College, not because you're the best at falling to the enemy's cause!'
'Wong Sir, you're mistaken, I—'
'Have you forgotten your mission? Do you even want to return to the force? Or is being a triad fucktoy more appealing to you? All this because he gave you a new liver? How pathetic, to think that you could be so easily bribed.'
'I was not—'
'Talking back to me, huh? Listen carefully — a UC who cannot do his job is worthless to the police force. But it doesn't matter because the mission is now worth nothing to you, right?'
'No, Wong Sir, I —'
'You've been by Max Siu's side for so long, and yet you haven't even given us a single piece of valuable information. You asked if this should be a honey trap, we said yes so you would gain Max Siu's trust. But look at what you've done instead. I'll grant your wish to disavow you, you're—'
'Wong Sir, please, I can't, no, I—'
'I'll erase your records. Remember, you didn't even graduate from the Police College.'
'Wong Sir, please listen to me, I'm just using him, it's all part of the plan—'
'You were never a cop to begin with. I'll make sure it stays that way.'
'Wong Sir!'
Fai jerks awake, shirt clinging to his back, wet with perspiration. The room spins, and he massages his temples before opening his eyes again. There's a nightlight by the door. This is his room. He's alone, in his own bed.
Wong Sir doesn't know anything. His secret is still safe. None of it had been real. No one knows.
So why the hell is he still trembling uncontrollably?
PC32018 had been one of the best cadets the Police College had seen in years. Given his circumstances, it had been an arduous journey for him. He had seen many a friend fall to drugs and crime, so he had resolved to join the police force to prevent more of such tragedies from happening again. He would have graduated with the 'silver whistle' at the top of his class, if not for Wong Sir's appearance.
He had been the ideal candidate, given how he was single and had no living relatives in Hong Kong. His marksmanship skills were the best by far, and he was one of the fittest in his class. When Wong Sir had walked into the interview room and requested for his observations about him, he had impressed with his attention to detail about the ink stain on Wong Sir's hands, the insoles in Wong Sir's shoes and the fit of Wong Sir's jacket. He had thus been chosen to infiltrate the Sing Lin Society, Hong Kong's biggest triad, and gather information to bring its drug empire down.
PC32018 thus ceased to exist. He was expelled from the Police College and sent to jail for petty crime. When his jail term was up, Fai was the man who walked out of Stanley Prison.
He had started small, working as a parking valet at one of the restaurants run by the Sing Lin Society, serving traditional Cantonese fare. It had been host to many a banquet, both held by regular citizens and triad members alike, and it had been a good place for Fai to begin to recognise the different members of Sing Lin. His new roommate had turned out to be a junkie hooked on the newest drug in the market, produced by none other than Sing Lin.
There are no shortcuts when it comes to such things. Fai had expected to continue in his role as a valet for a few months at the very least — triad initiation ceremonies were now a thing of the past due to how easily it could be used as evidence in court, and you could hardly go up to a triad member just to express interest in joining. A lot of it had to do with connections, and introductions from a friend of a friend of a friend. Even his roommate had been, at best, just a lackey of a lackey of a lackey, and not even part of Sing Lin itself. Fai had bided his time, building up his role to wear like a second skin.
It had been just another ordinary evening. The night air in Mong Kok had been hot and humid, and Fai's shirt clung to his back like a second skin. The customers had come and gone, and Fai had been about to board a customer's hovercar when he had realised that something had been off. The telltale metallic clang of choppers, knives, metal pipes with ends sharpened to points, just like bamboo skewers one would use to barbecue meat. Fai's first instinct had been to get the fuck out of there — given his position, there would have been no point in getting involved in a brawl.
But Max Siu had shown up, alighting from a hovercar. Max Siu, heir apparent to the Sing Lin Society and the only son of Old Master Cheung. A lawyer by training, he was the legal advisor to the Cheung Corporation by day, one of the top leaders in Sing Lin by night. His identity had been an open secret, and he had his enemies on both sides of the law.
The men had charged towards Max Siu, and Fai had realised that it was not a street fight between lowlife thugs and petty gangsters, but an assassination attempt.
The neon lights had been colourful and blinding, reflecting off the metal. When you walk the path of the underworld, it is slash or be slashed, kill or be killed. Max Siu had been the target, everyone else would be collateral damage.
Fai had made his decision. He had jumped in front of Max Siu, and the knife had gone right into him. Pain wracked his body, iron had welled up on his tongue and Max Siu had caught him in his arms. The last thing Fai had remembered was thinking that if that was the way his life was going to end, bleeding out on Nathan Road, how fucking unfair it would be.
Fai had not expected to wake up in a hospital bed. The nurse on duty had informed that he had been lucky that he had been sent to the hospital on time, and that there had been a donor liver available for him. The stab had ruptured his already failing liver. Despite Fai's best efforts, his body had started to fail him. He too, could not escape the inevitable. Years of avoiding drugs and alcohol, eating cleanly and exercising regularly had all been for naught, and his undercover mission had taken its toll on him. Instead of having to apply for a robotic organ as provided by the government for civil servants, Max Siu had arranged for Fai to have an actual organ to replace it. An actual flesh liver from someone who had once been alive and healthy, and it had gone to Fai all because he had taken the blow in Max Siu's place.
Organ failure had been within Fai's expectations, but not before he had turned 30. He had asked Max Siu if it had been a cloned organ, a cheaper, more natural alternative but hardly approved in many countries all over. How could he have been so lucky? Who would receive a flesh organ the moment their name appeared on the waiting list? Max Siu had laughed, telling him not to behave like a frog in a well, unaware of the bigger world out there.
It had not been a cloned organ from the black market, one that scions of the underworld could easily afford. No, it had been an organ, harvested from a living, breathing human. Hearing this, Fai had clenched his fist so hard that his fingernails dug into his palm, causing it to bleed.
The most deplorable thing about the Sing Lin Society isn't the illegal gambling or alcohol or prostitution that it profits from. It isn't the drugs that they are peddling, that speed up the rate of organ failure. No, it is human trafficking, and how they grow humans for organs to be sold at the highest price for anyone willing to pay for it.
'Wong Sir.'
Wong Sir turns to look at Fai, immaculately dressed as always. It has only been a month, but his skin is as tanned as ever, and his suit today is well-cut, black on black with a white pocket square, complete with black leather shoes. Not the best outfit for their meeting in the middle of a tunnel, but it isn't as if Fai gives a fuck about Wong Sir's sartorial choices. He takes notice only out of force of habit — after all, taking in every little detail is part of the job. 'You're late,' he says, pursing his lips.
'Traffic jam,' Fai answers, shrugging. 'You know how things are on the airways in Hong Kong, even hovercars have their limits.'
'How are things progressing?'
Straight to the point as always. Never a question about how he's doing, how he's holding up, and yet in Fai's nightmares it's always Wong Sir caring about what Fai's doing outside of his work for his police force. 'Old Master Cheung is about to step down,' he grunts, leaning over the railing. 'He's been telling everyone that it's time for him to retire, to let Max Siu make his mark. He had a ministroke at home, with paralysis and numbness on the left side of his body. His personal doctor says that the possibility of him eventually having a stroke is high, so he wants to make sure that Max Siu is ready to take over if anything happens.'
Wong Sir hums. 'When does he intend to hand Sing Lin to his son?'
'Two weeks.'
'Two weeks?' Wong Sir frowns.
'Old Master Cheung has been planning for the longest time, that Max Siu would eventually abandon the lawyer façade and lead Sing Lin openly, instead of pulling the strings in the shadows,' Fai says.
'No wonder NB has been working round the clock.'
Fai frowns. If the Narcotics Bureau keeps this up, then Old Master Cheung, Lok Ye and Max Siu might go through with what Kong Tau had proposed, and...
Wong Sir clears his throat. 'Upper management has been breathing down my neck, asking when OCTB will take action. Do you have enough evidence about the organ trafficking arm of Sing Lin?'
Fai winces. Trust Wong Sir to be most concerned about the Organised Crime and Triad Bureau's reputation. 'Officially, they're registered as resorts belonging to Cheung Corporation, of which Lok Ye is the CEO. Max Siu acts as a legal advisor, but he looks after more than just that. They're all private facilities registered overseas on islands owned by the company. I finally managed to visit one with Max Siu, and it's clearly not a resort. It's a farm for human beings. If there's hell on earth, then that's the place.' He grimaces, producing a manila envelope from his leather jacket.
Wong Sir opens the envelope, pulling out the compact case. 'What did you manage to record?'
'They scanned my retinas wherever I went. I couldn't get the documents from Max Siu's tablet, but I managed to record details about the location of the other resorts and about...' Fai trails off. Wong Sir looks at him expectantly, and he takes a deep, shuddering breath. 'About human deliveries.'
'You witnessed them?'
'Max Siu checked the...' Fai trails off. The word does not come easy, but what else can he use? 'He checked the goods.'
Wong Sir places the compact case into his chest pocket. His eyes flicker from Fai's body and back to his face again. 'Took you long enough.'
Fai holds his tongue. It had taken him months to earn Max Siu's trust and finally gain access to the farms, but Wong Sir is right.
'Even as you stay by Max Siu's side, don't forget your true identity — you're an undercover cop.' Wong Sir's voice is harsh and cold, as always. 'Understand?'
'Yes Sir,' Fai says, bringing his hand up in a salute.
You're an undercover cop. Of course. He's spent the last year going through hell, all for this moment, to bring the Sing Lin Society down, how the fuck could he bear to fuck it up and ruin it completely now all because of Max Siu?
It's three in the afternoon. Sunlight filters through the foggy windows, and Fai sits at one of the tables in Man Fa Yuen, stabbing at the preserved lemon in his drink, watching as the bubbles form slowly in the clear soda. Luckily for him, the cafe is mostly empty, and he has the table all to himself. His food comes soon enough, and he breaks the sunny side up egg, getting the yolk on to the luncheon meat and the soup. He's about to eat when he notices four men making their way through the cafe.
'Fai Gor!' Their voices ring out through the cafe. A few other patrons avert their gaze hurriedly, while some continue to look as if this was nothing more than a free show to watch.
'What is it?' He sets his chopsticks down.
'Max Siu wants to see you.'
Fai swallows hard. Fuck, these days, he hardly spends any time away from Max Siu. It had been hard enough getting away to meet Wong Sir, and to even have this meal on his own in peace and quiet away from the rest of Sing Lin, but here they are and here he is.
'Dai Lou, I haven't eaten all day. Let me finish my food first.'
'He wants to see you now.'
Fai wipes the sweat off his brow. Even the air-conditioning in Man Fa Yuen is no match for the sweltering heat of July in Hong Kong. 'Now?'
'Now. Fai Gor, if you please.'
Fai sighs, getting up. He digs out a couple of bills from his wallet and leaves them on the table. He doesn't wait for the change.
It is a long journey to where Max Siu is, and the windows of the hovercar are opaque.
Fai had never intended to get romantically involved with Max Siu. To begin with, his mission had never included honey trapping, and even if it had, it shouldn't have fallen to him to do it. One thing had led to another, and by coincidence, he had entered Sing Lin under Max Siu's care.
Working under him hadn't been particularly difficult, Fai supposes. He had expected to live day after day of being slashed at repeatedly as a triad member, but as luck would have it, following Max Siu meant that Fai had started something akin to a regular office job, complete with overtime. Max Siu had wanted to keep him around just because, and along the way he had ended up as a personal assistant, keeping track of Max Siu's appointments, meetings, documents and the like. It hadn't been the ideal position for Fai, given how Max Siu did not deal with drugs directly. But as time had passed, Fai had grown to realise that what he was dealing with was far greater than drugs alone.
See, Max Siu had been interested in Fai beyond the fact that he had been willing to jump directly in the line of fire for him. That favour had been more than repaid in full when Max Siu had replaced his liver. It had been clear that Max Siu had considered it as such. But Max Siu had other ideas which had slowly become evident as they continued to work together. Nights poring over documents together in the Cheung Corporation building in Central with copious amounts of delivered food had segued into nights spent in Max Siu's office, with Fai bent over his desk, thighs pressed together as Max Siu pushed his cock in between them.
Had he been in a position to say no? Fai wonders, twiddling his thumbs as the hovercar inches forward slowly. In another life, perhaps, this would be an ordinary forbidden romance between a boss and his personal assistant. Highly unprofessional, sure, but a happy ending would have been possible. In this life, however, Fai is an undercover cop, while Max Siu will be the next leader of the Sing Lin Society when his father retires. If Fai's cover is blown, his life will come to an end. There is no possible happy ending, yet here Fai is, playing along, not pushing Max Siu away.
Objectively speaking, Max Siu is attractive. Plenty of women in the office swoon over him, and so do the men. Max Siu has a way with words, and pays attention to the small details. Perhaps it's due to the nature of his job — he is, after all, a lawyer, and one can hardly be a successful lawyer without being concerned about the finer portions of the big picture. Max Siu remembers the orders of all his staff on his floor whenever he calls for Starbucks or drinks from the cha chaan teng two streets away. He remembers how Fai likes his eggs well done instead of runny when he orders breakfast, remembers how Fai typically orders chicken instead of beef when it comes to burgers, remembers how Fai has to have a second cup of coffee with two sugars at 3pm to function.
Somewhere along the way, Fai had realised that whenever Max Siu's fingers brushed against his own, whenever they held each other's gaze, whenever Max Siu leaned close — it had been as if there was electricity in the air. Like two poles of a magnet, the attraction had become irresistible, despite how much Fai had tried to fight it. That night had been an accident, with Fai tripping on the carpet, falling into Max Siu's arms, bringing the both of them down to the ground. Max Siu had ended up on top of Fai, forehead pressed against his. Then he leaned in to capture Fai's lips in a kiss. Some part of Fai had wondered, would it really be so bad to just give in?
And now it has all come to this. Max Siu had asked Fai to move in with him repeatedly in the past few weeks, and Fai had found ways and means to avoid, to demur, to turn down his request. It had been dangerous enough for him to get into a friendly relationship with Max Siu, to have it escalate to physical intimacy, even. As an undercover cop, Fai could not afford to share a bed with anyone — nightmares were a common occurrence. Who knew what he might give away in his sleep? But when Max Siu had invited him to one of the Cheung Corporation resorts, Fai had no choice but to follow. It had been a harrowing experience and he has absolutely no desire to do it again.
Thing is, while Max Siu was every bit the considerate boss and caring boyfriend, he was unpredictable in bed. Perhaps it has something to do with how his father wouldn't approve of his preference for men, or maybe it has something to do with how Fai can hardly be considered an appropriate match. As the saying goes, when it comes to marriage for the wealthy, the gates have to match the house. Marriage has to be between families of equal social rank, and Fai is far from Max Siu on the social ladder. Max Siu cannot risk exposing their relationship to the public, and perhaps that is why he is, more than anything, into exhibitionism.
By now, Fai is more than used to having Max Siu approach him in the car park of the Cheung Corporation building. Fai would have his motorcycle parked in a blind spot of the security cameras, and Max Siu would come to him, either to suck him off or to bend him over the seat and fuck him until he comes inside him. Sometimes, Max Siu would deliberately open the blinds of his office and make Fai strip, fucking him against the window while Fai has nothing but his shirt on. Then there had been the time when Max Siu had insisted on fucking him on that table in the meeting room, after all the elders of the Sing Lin society had left. Each time they fucked, Max Siu would mark him — leaving tiny red crescents on his inner thighs, bite marks on his chest, sucking bruises on to his neck and throat that were hard to cover up. Max Siu would always tell Fai that he belonged to no one but him alone, and he would come inside him and plug him up, keeping him filled during office hours, or he would come on Fai's chest, and make him wear the traces underneath his shirt while the rest of the office remained oblivious.
Fai knows he should not be doing this, but he cannot bring himself to stop. People get addicted to things all the time, undercover cops usually have a crutch they use to cope with how stressful everything is — drugs, gambling, alcohol, cigarettes, whatever. So what if he has sex to cope, to remind him that he's okay, he's alive, there's pleasure (and pain) to be felt and that he isn't slowly losing his humanity as he pretends to be something he's completely not? So what if it's for him to remember that he can feel, even if he's wearing a second skin that threatens to consume who he actually is? And so what, even if it's the last thing that he wants to admit that all this is due to how awful he feels because the liver inside him was illegally obtained and somehow being with Max Siu is his way of punishing himself for letting this happen? This is all part and parcel of the job, isn't it? Your body doesn't belong to you now. You have to serve a higher purpose. You've been trusted with such an important mission and you'll fail everyone if you screw up now, so on and so forth.
However, the fact remains that Max Siu is, actually, nice to Fai. The worst part about it all is that when Fai is shaking uncontrollably and puking his guts out after drinking too much, it's Max Siu who's holding his hair back and making sure he doesn't choke on his own vomit. When Fai is running a high fever and barely able to get up, it's Max Siu who comes round with painkillers and cooks congee and insists that Fai eats both food and medicine. When Fai goes out drinking with Max Siu, Max Siu is always making sure that Fai doesn't drink too much, that he's properly taking care of his liver. If this all ends, will Fai have anything like this ever again? His mother had passed away when he was a baby and his father had passed on shortly after he had gotten into Police College and just. Could he ever have someone who actually cares and is worried about him ever again?
But then again, can this be entirely about Fai? To sacrifice the well-being of the rest of Hong Kong, just for his own selfish desires? This is something that is beyond him, and something that he cannot do. He is running on borrowed time, if anything. This was never meant to be his to begin with, so giving it up should not be a problem, right?
Right. At least, that's what Fai tells himself.
The hovercar makes its descent slowly before stopping, and the doors open.
'Fai Gor, we're here.'
'Ah Fai,' Max Siu says, getting up and walking towards him. His voice is clear despite his unsteady gait and half-empty bottle of vodka in one hand. His glasses have slid down his nose, his jacket is undone, shirt untucked. Fai takes a cursory glance of his surroundings — just how many bottles of vodka did he consume?
'Max Siu,' Fai says, catching Max Siu in his arms as he falls forward. 'You've had a lot to drink.'
'Leave us,' Max Siu says, dismissing the rest of the men with a wave of his hand.
The men avert their gaze. Fai recognises the looks on their faces — fear, apprehension and uncertainty. It's no surprise, for Max Siu is a force to be reckoned with when drunk. 'Young Master Cheung, we'll be downstairs if you need us,' the leader says.
'No, just leave,' Max Siu says vehemently.
The men flinch visibly.
'I'm here if he needs anything,' Fai says, nodding at them.
'Alright,' the leader says. 'Young Master Cheung, Fai Gor. We'll be leaving.'
'You don't usually drink this much,' Fai murmurs, helping Max Siu to the sofa. Has the living room of Max Siu's house in The Peak always been this big? Fai almost stumbles as he settles down on the grey leather sofa, with Max Siu in tow. To say that Fai is nervous would be an understatement. Max Siu drinks regularly, but he has never reached a state where Fai can smell the alcohol on him from a distance. He's usually polite to his underlings, but this time... Something is definitely wrong.
'Daddy found out,' Max Siu says, hiccuping, 'Daddy found out about everything. He knows I gave you a liver.'
Fai freezes as the gears in his head start to turn. 'Old Master Cheung?' he asks slowly.
'He thinks you're not worth it,' Max Siu says, waving a finger in Fai's face.
Of course he isn't worth it, Fai thinks bitterly. How could anyone be worth such a sacrifice, taking away the life of another person just to sustain his own? But beyond such ideals and morals, it's clear that actually selling the liver in Fai's body to some billionaire would bring more benefit to the Sing Lin Society. So much for brotherhood and camaraderie in a triad, given how Fai had actually saved Max Siu. In the end, all of it is nothing but empty talk, for economic benefit always has the final say. The triads have long had a symbiotic relationship with the police, for there cannot be light without darkness. Old Master Cheung, however, had always expressed disdain towards dealing with the police, leaving Lok Ye and Max Siu to forge connections on their own. Even as Fai reports these to Wong Sir, he's reminded that this is for the ICAC to handle. He's not here to put an end to police corruption, but he's here as part of the OCTB to bring Sing Lin down, flesh organ trade and all.
'Max Siu,' Fai says at last. 'I'll get you a hot towel and some water, okay?'
'No,' Max Siu answers, grabbing onto Fai's shoulder. His grip is surprisingly firm, and Fai has to tamper down the urge to run. There's always the moment when Fai's skin crawls, and he recoils on instinct when Max Siu lays his hands on him. He's the enemy, the one Fai is trying to bring down. How could he even want to be touched by him in such an intimate manner? Then the feeling is gone in an instance, and all Fai can do is to give in. This time, however, is different. This time, the urge to run is borne less out of disgust, and more out of fear. There's no telling what Max Siu might do like this, and Fai has no desire to find out.
'Ah Fai. You won't refuse me, right?' he asks, voice serious. His cheeks are red and the flush spreads to his ears and his neck, a sharp contrast against the navy blue of his shirt.
'Max Siu,' Fai asks, trying to keep his voice from trembling. 'What do you want to do?'
'I want to...' Max Siu trails off, voice lower now as he leans in, burying his face where Fai's neck meets his shoulders. Max Siu cradles Fai's head gently, fingers threaded through Fai's hair, and his breath is warm against the bare skin just above the collar of his white t-shirt.
'I want to stuff my gun up your ass and shoot.'
What the fuck. Where the fuck did this come from?
'Max Siu,' Fai says, laughing nervously, hand still on Max Siu's back. Inside he's shaking so fucking badly. 'You mean you want to stuff your cock—'
'No, my gun. Do I seem like I'm joking?' Max Siu asks, pulling away now. He sounds lucid and completely sober, although he looks anything but, eyes blown wide and gazing into the distance past Fai.
'Max Siu, maybe we shouldn't do this, you're drunk—'
'So what if I am?' Max Siu asks, eyes narrowing. 'What, you're rebelling against me now that they call you Fai Gor?' he sneers.
'Max Siu, I wouldn't dare,' Fai answers immediately, schooling his features into his best poker face. Fuck. Oh god. Fuck. In Police College, they teach you how to deal with criminal threats, to deal with a hostage situation, to deal with someone pressing the muzzle of a gun to your forehead. He has learnt so much, learnt how to deal with a whole lot of different shit on the job anyway but this? Fuck. His palms are clammy and he clenches his fists, fingernails digging into the soft flesh.
Protesting is futile. As far as Max Siu is concerned, once he has his mind set on something, it is impossible to convince him otherwise. All he can do is to accept his fate. He hasn't come this far only to call it quits. This is a test, right? It has to be a test. There's no other possible explanation, and to believe otherwise would be akin to admitting defeat. No, this is how Fai is going to die; in some twisted sex game, and he's not even going to know why it has to be this way.
Fai had always known — there's a thin line between keeping your enemies close and plain sleeping with the enemy, and once Fai had crossed that line, it had been a road of no return. He had sought to taste bitterness of his own accord, he had gone looking for trouble on his own. Now that it has come to this, the only conclusion Fai can make is that he had brought it all upon himself. They say that the sea of bitterness has no bounds, turn back and the shore is at hand. But there is no way Fai can go back now, and besides, even if he repents, does it make a difference?
'Open your mouth,' Max Siu murmurs, as if coaxing Fai to suck at his fingers instead of a gun. His voice is gentle, but Fai recognises his tone — it's the same one he uses during negotiations, when giving a threat disguised as an offer. He presses the muzzle of his gun to Fai's lips, barely forcing his way in. Slowly waiting for Fai to do as he is told.
Now is not the time for fear. The metal is cold against Fai's lips, a sharp contrast to the hot shame he's feeling at what he is about to do. Fai looks straight at Max Siu as he complies. Parts his lips, letting Max Siu push the barrel of the gun into his mouth. Tries to focus on everything except for the shape of the gun in his mouth, and the metallic taste on his tongue. Tries not to think of the make of the gun, a European model that Max Siu had grown used to carrying when he had studied abroad in London and continued to carry on him even in Hong Kong. Tries to focus on breathing, on not freaking the fuck out. Tries to stop his heart from beating so hard and fast that it's almost threatening to rip itself out of his chest to beg Max Siu to stop this. This is a test. This is a test. All he has to do is to let Max Siu do whatever he wants to his body. Let him have his way with him, pretend that all this is the best thing he's ever had, and play the part of a perfect boyfriend who's accepting of all sorts of kinky shit that he's into.
Is the gun loaded? Fuck, he doesn't want to know. He has come this far. He can do this. He will do this. He will not fail.
Fai squeezes his eyes shut, clutching at Max Siu's shoulders. This is really happening. Max Siu is really about to push his gun inside his ass. Never mind that it has already been slicked up, both by lube and by his saliva, never mind that he's been trying to convince himself that okay, let's just pretend that this is perfectly normal, the gun is nothing more than a dildo, just shaped differently. Max Siu intends to shoot. Max Siu intends to shoot. That had been the one thing he had avoided thinking about, but now there's no running from it.
That, however, isn't the worst part. The worst part is how his body cannot help but respond to all of this. Inside he's shaking with fear, but outside? His nipples are hard through the thin fabric of his white t-shirt, and his cock leaks against his stomach. The rest of his clothes have been thrown aside, leaving him with nothing to hide behind. He shouldn't want this, he should be pretending to want this, but his body makes it abundantly clear that he's aroused.
'So eager,' Max Siu murmurs in awe. The muzzle of the gun is placed against Fai's entrance, pushing in slowly. 'You're so wet already, leaking all over your shirt. So you like my gun more than my cock, hmm?'
'Max Siu,' Fai manages, voice strained. This is a test this is a test this is a goddamn test don't fuck this up. There's no way he's not going to pass with flying colours. He's been through so much to get this far. If he fails, the consequences will be disastrous. His true purpose is to bring down the Sing Lin Society, to dismantle their flesh organ trade. What is one more sacrifice?
He looks up at Max Siu, eyes shimmering. 'Please.'
'What do you want?' Max Siu asks, breathless as he watches the rest of the barrel of the gun disappear inside Fai.
Fai swallows hard. He can do this. He will do this. 'Fuck me,' he groans, clenching down on the gun. 'Fuck me, Max Siu.'
Max Siu grins, leaning in to kiss Fai on his lips. 'Gladly.'
Max Siu knows exactly what to do to get Fai off. Fai buries his head in Max Siu's chest, clinging to him on the bed, while Max Siu continues with his movements, fucking into Fai with the gun, over and over, not letting up.
Fai cries out, clenching down on the gun as Max Siu pushes it in, then pushes it out again. He tries to focus on everything else instead — the smooth fabric of Max Siu's shirt against his cheek, how the material feels under his palms as he clings to him, the bed sheets underneath his thighs. But all he can think of is the gun fucking into him, slimmer than what he's used to. The shape of the gun inside him, unlike anything else he's ever had. He should be afraid but instead here he is, losing his mind over how good Max Siu is making this for him.
Max Siu's pace is steady, bringing Fai closer and closer to completion with each maddening stroke. By now, Fai is completely naked while Max Siu still has his clothes on. There are marks all over Fai's neck and chest, around his nipples, down to his stomach and thighs, all where Max Siu had sucked bruises into his skin.
'Max Siu,' Fai groans, fingernails digging into Max Siu's shoulders. 'Max Siu, I—'
'I'm going to shoot,' Max Siu says, voice hoarse. 'Are you going to shoot too?' he asks.
Without even looking at him, Fai can hear the grin in his voice. That wide grin, showing teeth, with the gleam in his eyes and god. Oh fuck.
'Max Siu!' Fai gasps.
No, it's too late now. He has to see this through to its bitter end. That was what he had intended to do right from the beginning, wasn't it?
'You are, aren't you?' Max Siu asks, reaching for Fai's cock. 'Ah Fai, I love how your body is always so honest. Come for me. Shoot for me, hmm? Shoot it all over yourself.'
Fai cries out, hips jerking forward. He should be terrified, he shouldn't be wanting this, but at this moment his mind is going blank and he's forgetting how to function and Max Siu fucking shoots—
When Fai comes to, he's in Max Siu's bed. Max Siu sits beside him, holding his hand, eyes wet with tears.
'Ah Fai, you're awake!' Max Siu leans in to embrace him, all trace of his drunken ruthlessness gone.
Fai's head hurts. Wait. Fuck. He's alive. He's alive. Max Siu shot with that goddamn gun inside him but he's still alive. He groans, struggling to get up, and lets Max Siu help him.
'I'm so sorry I scared you,' Max Siu says, voice shaky. He reaches for the pillow behind Fai, propping it up so that Fai can lean against it. Fuck, Max Siu is actually crying. Then he takes Fai into his arms again, one hand on Fai's head, where his hair meets the nape of his neck, and the other on his back. 'Daddy was worried that you were the mole,' he continues tearfully, completely unlike the Max Siu that Fai is used to. What the fuck?
'What?' Fai asks, placing his hands gingerly on Max Siu's back. His head is spinning, he's not even sure if he's processing this right.
'We know it wasn't you, I knew it wasn't you, but the police tore apart the resort we went to, remember the resort?' Max Siu's hold on Fai tightens. 'Daddy said we had to be sure, said we had to check to be sure, you were the only one who wasn't part of the inner circle who visited, he said I had to test you, he said that even you could be suspicious—'
'How could you,' Fai chokes out. He's shaking uncontrollably in Max Siu's arms now, fuck, there's nothing he can do to control his emotions now that they've gotten to this point but oh, fuck. 'I saved your life, I nearly died for you. Not just that night in Mong Kok, but over and over again, when Song Wing tried to kill you after the legal battle with the Kam Long Gang, when you got into a fight with Din Gau,' the words keep tumbling out of Fai's mouth despite how he knows he really ought to keep his mouth shut. His tears are falling now, but he isn't even sure why. Is it because he feels betrayed, that Max Siu would doubt him, after all they've been through? But that's fucking ridiculous isn't it, given how yes, he should doubt him because he's a goddamn undercover cop? Fuck, no, maybe it's the feeling of relief of having made it out alive after yet another fucked up incident in his undercover career. The threat is gone now, and now he's free to let it go, or some shit to that effect.
'I'm sorry,' Max Siu barely makes out in between sobs. 'But, but, we know it wasn't you, don't worry, we've got the mole, okay? It's Kong Tau, we caught him and Daddy and Uncle Lok fed him to the dogs. It's all okay now.'
Fai freezes. Fed to the dogs. Fuck. That would've been him. That should've been him. And someone else had taken it in his place. Fuck.
'I know you're good to me, you're always there for me, aren't you? No one can take you away from me, not even Daddy. I'll make sure of that,' Max Siu says. His voice is filled with conviction, and his grip on Fai tightens.
'Remember I told you, you don't belong to Sing Lin, you don't belong to anyone else but me? You're safe now. I've got you.'
Fai does not answer. He's heard that from Max Siu, over and over. You belong to me. Max Siu's possessive streak usually comes out when they have sex, and any talk about how Fai belongs to him only would get him off. But hearing this now, after all this? Fai's stomach lurches, and his chest tightens. What a goddamn joke. How can he be safe? All this time he has been keeping a hungry lion company, and somehow along the way, the red thread of fate had wound itself around the both of them, linking them inextricably. He has just escaped from the lion's jaw, with marks from his sharp teeth all over his skin, but the lion isn't satisfied yet. He isn't done, and he's about to pounce again, and Fai will never be ready for it.
Max Siu pulls away, getting a mug from the bedside table. 'I boiled Bird's Nest for you,' he says, sniffling as he pushes the mug into Fai's hands. 'Ah Fai. Daddy's been putting so much pressure on me to take over as the head of Sing Lin. I've told him over and over, I'll take over the Cheung Corporation when Uncle Lok retires, but... He's dying.'
'He's dying,' Fai echoes, eyes glazed. He barely registers how hot the mug is in his hands until Max Siu shifts his hands, bringing the mug to his lips to drink.
'Drink,' Max Siu urges, and Fai can hardly bring himself to comply. 'Daddy's going to leave me eventually, and I'll be so lonely without him but I've realised that I won't be alone after all, right? Ah Fai, you know that you're mine, right? You'll always be with me, no matter what. I can be strong because I'll have you to share all of this with. You won't leave me, will you?'
Fai swallows hard. The Bird's Nest is sticky on his lips, but all he tastes is bitterness. 'What do you mean?'
'Marry me,' Max Siu says, placing his hands over Fai's. 'Ah Fai, you've been there for me, through the bitter and the sweet. Will you be with me for the rest of your life?'
Fai stares at Max Siu, expression blank. It takes all of his willpower not to drop the mug onto the bed sheets. Fuck. Oh god. Fuck. To think that after all that has been said and done, this is where he ends up.
In the underworld, you are not your own master. To fulfil your desires, life and death can be forgotten.
'Ah Fai?'
Fai should not be doing this, especially after all that has happened. But he's in this for the long haul, and rule number one of being an undercover cop is that no, you do not ever blow your cover. He doesn't have a choice. He will never have a choice. His body is not his own anyway, and so it doesn't matter if he lets Max Siu think that he belongs to him, right? He takes a deep breath, looking at Max Siu. 'Okay,' he says.
They'll get married, sure, whatever, but the mission has to go on. He'll bring this all down, no matter the cost. A little personal sacrifice will go a long way for Hong Kong. He turns his hand so that he's able to squeeze Max Siu's hand. In reassurance, perhaps, but who exactly is he trying to reassure? He has no idea.
'Okay.'