Chapter Text
When the two had fallen for each other it was most definitely not a huge epiphany of endless devotions and desires. Not even a catastrophic spiral of confusion and denial. It was more similar to the first fallen petal of spring, and the green leaves became a bit brighter when they welcomed the warmer hues. When they fell in love it was like the changing seasons; subtle enough to almost miss.
But they still accepted each other’s changing weather. And maybe in the end, both decided to truly recreate everything together again like a new tiny seed caught in the wind.
“Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.” ~ Socrates
The Start of Summer:
“I...need a favor,” Akutagawa started, his brain short-circuiting when Atsushi locked eye contact and his throat felt dry.
Regret began to seep into his system again like this morning when he predicted how the day might go, because maybe this wasn’t a good idea.
He wiped his sweaty palms on his coat but the gentle curiosity in Atsushi’s honey-stained purple eyes almost anchored him as he waited for him to continue.
The mafioso inhaled deeply, chewing the inside of his lip as he formulated his thoughts together before speaking, and looked the detective in the eyes. Gin told him to go for it, and when push comes to shove, bribe the guy.
But money might not fix this if he mortified himself for eternity to come when he uttered the words…
“Marry me.”
Atsushi blinked. Once, twice, taken aback. His eyes widened and mouth slightly agape.
The mafioso mentally smacked himself.
He should have explained first. Of course he’ll say no. This entire thing was a mistake, he should leave. He could feel himself about to bolt out of the place any moment now, unable to take the lack of response from the other as he shifted in the wooden chair to cross his arms and legs.
Akutagawa anticipated the harsh rejection to seal the deal when Atsushi bursted out laughing.
Now, Akutagawa was the one giving him an incredulous look. If they weren’t currently in a cafe sitting across from each other, he probably would’ve punched the guy.
“You’re joking,” Atsushi breathed out as he chuckled, his hand muffling the sound as he held his stomach.
Akutagawa grimaced and stared down at his lukewarm tea in front of him. “Give me...three months.”
What.
Atsushi stopped laughing and glanced back at Akutagawa. “Three months?” he repeated slowly, tilting his head. “W-what are you on about?”
The room started tilting a bit and Atsushi leaned against his arm on the table, thankful to be sitting at this moment. He must be sleep deprived.
Because he must've misheard what he said.
Marry Akutagawa.
His enemy, literal rival who vowed to kill him eventually, and he almost died on numerous occasions because of him.
Atsushi still feared it might happen in the middle of the night while he's sleeping. The only reason they talk to each other is because he's constantly forced to be associated with him from the interventions of his (their?) conniving mentor. So maybe this was a whole prank Dazai set up.
They had somewhat of a stalemate between them ever since the fight with the underground Rats. So at least he wasn't in complete shock to be invited out to tea (from a burner phone number too) as a truce of some kind, but this...this was unanticipated.
It’s not like he was expecting Akutagawa to laugh with him and shout ‘Surprise, just kidding!’ with a smile. Because that scenario would have been even scarier, considering the stoic expressions he’s accustomed with.
This was Akutagawa here.
And this Akutagawa glared. A dust of pink colored his face and his hands clenched at his sides, hidden from view underneath the table.
“Yes, Jinko!” he snapped. “Don’t make me repeat this again.”
God, the detective infuriated him. Akutagawa wished he could push all this behind him but he had no one else to ask.
Atsushi squinted. “...You’re Akutagawa, right?”
“Jinko,” Akutagawa warned and Atsushi raised his hands up.
“Okay, okay, I’ll stop! But seriously dude, what is this about?”
Akutagawa breathed through his nose again and shut his eyes to calm his nerves, relief settling in when he shifted in the chair. He didn’t get a straight no from the other, so maybe this wasn’t a complete lost cause which would burn along in hell with him.
The detective gingerly took a sip of his green tea, curious to hear what the other had to say. He eyed his partner over the cup—well, not really partner, because honestly that term never sat right with him regardless of all the “New Double Black” rumors thrown their way.
He couldn’t figure out if “partners” really suited them for what they were.
The cup clinked when Atsushi placed it back on its saucer and Akutagawa opened his eyes, appearing less tense.
“My parents—”
“You have parents?” Atsushi blurted out and resisted the urge to cover his face with his hands.
That was so stupid and insensitive, he mentally berated himself. Atsushi what the f-
“Not exactly…" Akutagawa trailed off, ignoring the weretiger’s absurd response and coughed into his hand to ease his sore throat. “It’s regarding my parents. To be more specific, my late mother’s brother, Akutagawa Dōshō. My parents passed away in a car crash when I was about ten.”
Atsushi was surprised that Akutagawa trusted him enough to tell him this. The guy rarely talked about himself in general and it was by mere coincidence he discovered he had a younger sister through Higuchi and Katai’s random chase months ago in Yokohama’s streets.
"Oh, I’m really sorry for your loss, Akutagawa. I didn’t mean to say it that way since I always assumed...you know...”
Akutagawa sighed and his shoulders sagged back against the chair, “Relax, it’s fine. I just discovered that my mother’s relatives were even still alive.”
“So, then regarding your uncle?” Atsushi asked, scratching the back of his neck.
The mafioso swallowed, preparing himself to finally explain why they were here in the first place. He was gratified that Atsushi didn’t storm out of here at first glance and he was actually hearing him out. He was such a strange person.
“My uncle, also including our aunt, found out Gin and I were still alive. We recently received a letter saying they wanted to meet us. But in order to hide our true occupations we had to take extreme precautions, which Gin mostly devised anyway. Yet there seemed to have been ah—loss in translation, per se. They believe I’m a writer who studied literature under a penname for privacy reasons, and Gin is clearly still a student due to her age, but she takes up music in her free time.”
Atsushi furrowed his eyebrows while he listened. “Okay, that makes some sense...but what does this have to do with marriage ? You’re like twenty.”
“Apparently, I’m also way too eager in this delusion,” Akutagawa muttered. “I don’t know how but somehow another letter got mixed in with ours and they also believe me to be engaged with a colleague of mine.” Akutagawa faced the weretiger and gave him a brief, tight and humorless smile. “And they’re ecstatic to meet you.”
The tea cups clattered when Atsushi’s foot accidentally hit the leg of the table and Akutagawa raised his own cup to his lips, (with his usual unpleasant frown by-the-way) before it could splash.
“Why the hell can’t you ask an actual colleague of yours?” Atsushi questioned while he tugged at the collar of his white dress shirt, “Or I don’t know, tell the truth.”
The heat in the room must've been getting to him.
It’s almost summer, shouldn’t the air conditioning be on? He wondered while his eyes flitted around the cafe.
It was only Akutagawa and himself inside the establishment besides an elderly couple sitting by one of the windows.
He observed they were holding hands across the table with a shared pastry beside them while they talked. The taller one of the pair made a face at whatever the shorter one said and they laughed back in reply, causing them to pout.
The shorter one shook their head with a smile, and raised their joined hands together before the other attempted to pull away. They kissed the back of their significant other’s hand, ending the moment with both of them gazing warmly at each other again.
Embarrassed from witnessing such an intimate moment between strangers, Atsushi flicked his eyes back at the mafioso, who was brooding in his own little world.
Akutagawa took a long sip of his jasmine tea, rolling his eyes. “I can’t ask anyone from the Port Mafia because that would compromise our family’s safety with them being under their radar, and I know my ways to get time off from missions to deal with visiting them. They seemed…truly happy to hear from Gin and I, so I can’t think of a reason on how to prevent disappointing them.” He wrinkled his nose. “Plus, I don’t think I even bother to associate with anyone else from the Agency besides Dazai-san, which would not work at all regardless but...there’s you.”
“The last resort…” Atsushi mumbled.
Akutagawa nodded. It’s the truth yet he’s unsure how he took it as an answer.
Atsushi hated how he could understand this. He couldn’t picture exactly what a real family dynamic was supposed to be, based on his own unfortunate experiences.
Yet at least he understood the nagging inner critic of not living up to expectations and wanting to try to make amends with those he cared about.
If he had that chance he would take it. It’s natural to want to feel accepted with some precautions…so you don’t lose who you are.
But he’s also fortunate enough to have the Detective Agency replace that void of a family from their endless support. He always appreciated them. He felt ridiculous for actually considering this but—
“Alright,” Atsushi said.
“I understand if—” Akutagawa raised a thin eyebrow—“What? ”
Atsushi leaned over the table with his hands placed on his knees towards Akutagawa, “I said, alright. I’ll help you.”
“You hate me.”
Atsushi’s eye twitched. This guy.
“Because, it’s fine that we’re only pretending. And I want to help,” Atsushi replied with a half smile and Akutagawa held eye contact for a moment before looking away.
He pursed his lips. “You’re right. And don’t worry, you’re getting paid.”
“Akutagawa,” he choked out a laugh, “that’s not really necessa—''
“Again,” Akutagawa waved him off, “it would only be for three months but not the entire time.” That honestly would drive him to insanity like this entire plan to begin with. “We can discuss more about the course of action when we leave, so I advise you to begin packing tonight.”
Atsushi had to admit, adding money into the equation did perk up his interest, but now he began to wonder what he got himself into. Pack?! He thought it would be the kind-of-job he didn’t have to travel for, and if it's even worth it to leave Yokohama.
“What about m-my...my job! And where exactly does your uncle live?” The room spun again.
Was Akutagawa truly this bad at explaining the importance of things, or he himself plain idiotic for saying yes too fast?
At this point, maybe it’s both reasons.
Akutagawa reached into his coat and pulled out a folded slip of paper, holding it out to Atsushi. “Here’s my real number,” he said in a low voice. “I trust that you will send a message so I know yours.” Akutagawa stood up while Atsushi took it with shaky hands.
The mafioso stuffed his hands in his pockets, taking a step towards the entrance but he looked back at Atsushi, who continued staring at the piece of paper. “We...We’ll talk later.” He turned around and walked fast towards the door.
Atsushi whipped his head up. “Hey! Wait Akutag—” he huffed when the door banged shut behind Akutagawa, the wind chimes echoing in his ears.
He left Atsushi sitting here even more confused.
Everything should be okay, Atsushi thought as an attempt to reason with himself with this. He tried to count how many days consisted of three months.
He glanced down at the scribbled numbers on the paper.
Although, it looked more like a fancy script by how clean and elegant it was written with a signature in the corner.
“Even his handwriting is ridiculous,” Atsushi scoffed under his breath.
He could only hope things would be okay.
And it’s fine, if we’re only pretending.
