Chapter Text
"I'm never letting you drive me anywhere again, Nick. We almost DIED!" Maya bellowed, careening into the facility's small, fluorescently-lit front room. "Oh hi, fam."
"Hey, Maya!" Athena's enthusiasm matched Maya in volume, if not in tone. She tore past Apollo, Klavier, and Blackquill to give Maya a hug. "Hey, Mr. Wright and Prosecutor Edgeworth! I'm so glad you could come!"
Phoenix had to nearly push his partner into the room as they followed after Maya. They'd been over this many times, and Miles knew that he didn't have to intentionally submit himself to a locked room for an hour, but he insisted that he wanted to come. The man loves to solve riddles, the nerd.
"Yes, thank you for inviting us to your festivities, Ms. Cykes," said Miles, ever the gentleman, even when his face had turned a delicate shade of chartreuse. "Er- Phoenix has to get his practice hours in for his driver's license," he explained weakly, avoiding Maya's eyes.
"Not with me in the car, he doesn't," Maya countered, crossing her arms.
"That was actually way better than yesterday, wasn't it, Miles?" Phoenix staged a blasé look on his face, like an artist awaiting constructive critique. His former passengers (victims?) ranged from irate to bilious. Everybody's a critic.
"So it's your birthday, Ms. Cykes?" Miles redirected the conversation to a less controversial topic.
"Yep!" Athena answered happily. ("Celebrate good times, come on!" chirped Widget).
"When you invited us to your 21st birthday party, Fraulein, I thought you meant..." Klavier dragged his eye around the fluorescent lights and tightly-looped Nylon carpeting. The giant logo, complete with horrendous typeface, plastered on the wood-paneled wall behind a sheet-metal-plated reception counter. The pock-marked teenage boy scanning his cellphone behind the desk. The lo-fi Steel Samurai remix playlist humming in the background. "A club. Or a bar."
Klavier's eyes landed on Apollo and the ex-frontman seemed to suddenly remember that he's no longer a bottle service, VIP-lounge kind of person, so he quickly amended, "This seems enjoyable too, though, ja?"
"I couldn't have Trucy at my party if we went to a bar, silly," bubbled Athena. "Besides, this is gonna be way more fun!" She flashed him a V-sign and a broad grin.
"Explains why you wore that purple silk getup, Klav," submitted Apollo, smirking. From the corner, Prosecutor Blackquill barked a gravelly laugh.
"This outfit rocks no matter the stage, Herr Forehead," Klavier replied, winking. Apollo turned a deep red. Apollo might have been away in Khura'in for a couple years, but he was still just as easy to mess with. Phoenix filed that information away for later.
The door opened one last time as they're joined by the final member of their crew. "Hi, all! Happy birthday, Thena!" Trucy sung, greeting Athena with a hug.
"Yay, twenty-one! Now you can, for the first time in your life," she nodded sagely at her dads before winking at Athena, "partake in hard liquor and cheap beer. Responsibly, of course."
"Oh yes, I regard this new, never-before-experienced milestone with the utmost responsibility," Athena grinned as Apollo gripped his wrist and glared at her. Phoenix tried vainly not to obsess over what kinds of laws Trucy was breaking in college.
The boy at the desk looked up at the digital wall clock and straightened. "Is this the full group?"
At Athena's assent, the boy gestured them through a side-door into a pitch-black room. "Good luck," he called ominously, before closing the door behind them with click. Phoenix grips Miles' hand in his. I'm here.
The others barely had time to audibly panic before the lights glared on and a robed, bearded figure on an elevated platform swiveled to face them. The room was furnished, Phoenix realized warily, like... a courtroom. The looks on the team's faces ran the gamut from intrigued (Athena) to bored (Blackquill) to chary (Apollo). Whatever, thought Phoenix. As long as there isn't an actual murder, this can still count as a date night. He squeezed Miles' hand, but it felt somewhat limp.
"I am your Game Guide," the figure intoned. "Welcome... to the Dark Age of the Law."
What. The. F-
Phoenix's stunned bafflement was interrupted as O Fortuna began playing in surround sound, because "overdone" was apparently not a concept in escape rooms.
"The Dark Age of the Law is not a game!" Miles thundered over the Latinate chanting, ripping his left hand from Phoenix's to gesture emphatically while slamming the fake Prosecutor's desk with his right. "Innocent people were killed, imprisoned, disbarred!" Phoenix knew he should be audibly supportive, especially since he too was intimately involved, but he was wholly distracted by the attractive depth of Miles' voice. He rubbed his partner's back to compensate.
"Is that... my guitar? Nailed to the wall?" Klavier blurted, poking at the Red Badger design on the instrument and thoroughly undercutting Miles' righteous anger. The music volume lowered from 'dramatic overwhelm' to 'creepy background' level.
"Of course this is not a game," the Guide responded sharply, and Phoenix dimly appreciated that the employee refused to break character. "The stakes are high. You have one hour to lift the Dark Age of the Law. Or else, you will be stuck here forever."
"Oh, sure, that'll be enough time," Apollo muttered sarcastically as Blackquill snorted. "Certainly wouldn't take nearly a decade." The Game Guide ignored him.
"An hour." The figure stood. It was clear now that the Guide was a man, with a bald pate, chin festooned in bushy, brown beard, clad in judge's robes. Even from several feet away, Phoenix could smell spearmint gum emanating from the man. Guess he's not a true professional actor, Phoenix shook his head disparagingly. Even I know not to chew gum in a scene!
"I am Judge Mentay. The case in front of you today is State v. Bailey. There are two case files, one for the Defense and one for the Prosecution, which are placed on their respective benches." He tapped the outside face of the elevated box he was sitting in, directing their attention to a mechanized paper slot with a digital display, halfway down the wood structure. "Evidence may be tested for tampering using the scanner embedded in the judge's stand."
Gee, I wish it were always that easy.
"Beware of forged evidence. Beware of false friends. Beware," Judge Mentay paused for dramatic effect, "the Dark Age of the Law. You have an hour. I implore you, do not waste it."
The room descended into a sudden darkness, and when the lights returned a few moments later, the judge had vanished.
Game on, Phoenix thought grimly.