Work Text:
"You had something to hide
Should have hidden it, shouldn't you?
Now you're not satisfied
With what you're being put through
It's just time to pay the price
For not listening to advice
And deciding in your youth
On the policy of truth"
-Martin Gore
Lex awoke slowly. He knew the situation before he opened his eyes. He wasn't surprised to find he couldn't move his hands or feet. Not surprised that whatever he'd been drugged or bludgeoned with left the familiar headache. That his ass was numb from sitting for who knows how long. That his jaw hurt from taking a punch or two. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually was surprised.
When you're Lex Luthor, you have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes when you wake up, you happen to be tied to a chair.
Lex opened his eyes and lifted his head. He rolled his stiff neck and sighed. This is not how he pictured his life.
Oh, he'd gotten used to it. The poisonings, gun shot wounds, head traumas, abductions. The sound of a gun cocking behind his ear didn't even make him flinch anymore.
He looked around. At least he was alone. He had time to decide whether he wanted to start the negotiations with "I don't do negotiations." or "Whatever my father's paying you, I'll double it."
He hissed at the sting in his wrists when he flexed his stiff hands. Then he leaned his head back and thought about the last time he went to the symphony. Might as well do something pleasant with the time until Clark arrived.
Clark bent the steel doors of the abandoned warehouse. He used his x-ray vision and quickly found what he was looking for. A skeleton tied to a chair. He sighed. This is not how he pictured his life.
When you're Clark Kent, you learn to live with the fact that your evenings and weekends are spent rescuing those you care about from the seemingly endless trouble they get into. You live with repairing things you break, picking up things you drop and stuttering over the lies you have to tell.
But when you trudge though debris filled rooms and grimy hallways to find your best friend bruised and bound, you can't help but wish things were different.
Lex stopped humming and looked over when Clark entered the dimly lit room. Like clockwork. He smiled.
"Lex, are you-" He interrupted as Clark untied him.
"Hurt, no. Sore, yes. Did you find whoever-"
"Did this to you? Yeah, he was a-"
"Meteor mutant-"
"As usual" They finished together. They were both smiling now, as if they just got the punch line to the joke that had become their lives. Clark helped Lex to his feet slowly so he didn't get a head rush.
"Clark,” Lex started quietly as he straightened his clothes and rubbed his wrists absently. He paused thoughtfully before speaking again. ”Do you ever wish things were..."
"Different?" Lex nodded slowly and his breath caught at the sadness that crept into Clark's eyes. He saw the burden Clark was carrying as if it were a solid thing weighing him down. For an instant he seemed older, wiser and more weary than anyone Lex could remember. Clark ducked his head briefly and his lips twitched in a sorrowful smile.
"Every day." Clark’s answer was soft but thick with emotion. And he must have seen his expression mirrored on Lex's face because he stepped forward, closing the gap between them. His arms went around Lex, and Lex's reciprocated as though they were made for doing just that.
They held each other for a long moment. Clark's hands moved slowly around Lex's back and Lex allowed himself the luxury of the clean scent of Clark's hair. After a minute the hold loosened, but they did not part. Lex rested his head against Clark's neck and let out the breath he didn't remember holding.
Lex realized then how significant this moment was. They could either part, dust themselves off and go about business as usual, or they could change everything. It could all be different. It could be right and good and everything he’d ever wanted. He thought about his battered body, his shit factory, his tyrannical father and his empty castle.
"Clark?" Clark moved his chin to rest of Lex's shoulder.
"Hm?"
"I have a shrine dedicated to you. Everything I know about you. It's all there."
Clark thought about the bitter taste on his tongue every time he lied. About being a faceless geek in a school full of people who owed their lives to him and didn’t know it. About how everyone only half-knew him. He thought about Chloe's unrequited love and Lana's disinterest. He thought about Lex and his empty castle.
"How big is it?" He whispered, though he'd meant to speak normally. Lex stiffened slightly.
"Pardon?"
"The shrine." He didn't want to torture Lex, but was curious about the level of honesty they were sharing. And about the answer. He felt Lex swallow hard.
"It's an entire room. Bigger than the study." Clark's arms tightened just a little as he sensed Lex's desire to bolt. He took a deep breath.
"Good.” He lifted his head from Lex's shoulder to look him in the eyes. "It'll be the perfect place to keep my spaceship. Complete the collection."
Lex found it difficult to swallow now when he saw the honesty in Clark's eyes. Found it difficult to stay upright when he realized what he'd just been given. He was grateful when Clark's hands moved to hold him steady at the hips. He was also grateful for the shot of courage Clark’s confession gave him.
"I've wanted you to be mine since the day you saved me at the bridge."
"Me too." Clark started to lean forward, but Lex stopped him. It was all or nothing. Pandora's Box was open now.
"I gave you advice about Lana because I wanted you to be happy. Even though it broke my heart." Clark smiled shyly.
"I only asked for advice so I could spend time with you. Hear your voice." Clark leaned forward again and pressed his cheek to Lex's. He spoke softly in his ear and his finger's squeezed Lex's hips lightly. "I thought about letting Victoria drown. I was so jealous." Clark felt a smirk against his ear.
"I wanted you to be."
“I was happy when your dad kicked you out and you came to stay with us.” Clark’s hands moved around to Lex’s back, holding him close again.
“So was I.” Lex’s smirk became a real smile. It faded on and off his face as each truth was spoken. “I was jealous of Ryan.”
“I was jealous of Lucas.” Clark held him a fraction tighter with every confession.
“So was I.” Lex was simultaneously terrified and relived as each truth tripped off his tongue. He was telling Clark the truth simply because he wanted him to know it. That felt better than hearing what Clark was actually saying.
"I want to know my birth parents." And hearing what Clark had to say made his heart pound and ache.
"I want to see my mother again."
"I blame myself for every bad thing that happens in this town."
"I need my father to love me."
"I want to feel safe."
"I want to be happy."
Clark couldn't hold back anymore and framed Lex's face in his hands. Lex felt a warm rush of emotion when their lips touched. It was electrifying, but not urgent. Not rushed. Better than any drug he’d ever done because this time it actually filled the void inside. Clark started to move his mouth and Lex responded in kind, feeling comforted and hopeful.
Happy.
Clark's lips slowly parted and met again against Lex's. He shivered at the smooth tingle when Lex moved fingers into his hair. He was the most powerful being in Smallville and he felt at home in the arms of the most disaster prone. Lex sighed into him then and it hit Clark that he didn’t have to worry anymore. He would be protected.
Safe.
They smiled against each other at the same time, as if the revelations had been shared. Maybe things wouldn’t get easier for them. But maybe they would. They would certainly be better. That was enough.
Clark put his forehead to Lex's. And even though today was a day of changes, he asked:
"Wanna get coffee at the Talon?" Lex's smile grew. He took Clark's hand and answered:
"I'd love to, Clark."
Because some things don't need to change.