Work Text:
Ramuda has made some smart decisions in his lifetime, but taking recommendations from his nineteen year old ex-brother-figure-turned-kind-of-enemy-but-more-like-acquaintances is not one of them.
“Ichibukuro really failed this hotspot rec, shame. He’s usually got such good taste!” he remarks, straining his voice against the dense air of the sauna. Keeping up this sugary shell is straining-but he can’t let his guard down. Won’t let his guard down, not with him here.
“Mmm, I don’t know. I’d call it pretty hot.” Gentaro replies, and Ramuda can hear the self-assured smirk in his voice. Dick. He might’ve walked into that one, sure, but he doesn’t have to sound so smug about it.
“So funny, Gen-chan~” Ramuda bites back, careful to push back the bitterness in his voice. “Maybe you oughta be a comedian! I bet there’s a straight man for you out there!” Dimly Ramuda hears his voice, words feebly fighting him off to no avail. Guilt builds up in his throat, and he tries to kill it-swallows thick with the steam rising in the air.
“Oh, leader, don’t you know? I actually am, in fact, a manzai funnyman.” Gentaro says. It’s an obvious lie, but Ramuda finds himself wanting to hear more. Maybe if he’s lucky it’ll lead to one of his teammate’s stories, a fantasy world to lose himself in as a distraction from the real world. The world that seems so hellbent on killing him-Gentaro’s make him feel alive. And isn’t that a thought? “My straight man, of course, is our darling Daisu.”
That’s no surprise. Dice is so straight-laced, so honest, leaves himself vulnerable to the cruel jokes of the world and Ramuda almost envies him for it. Still, at the same time, protectiveness swells in his chest as he remembers all the times Dice crawled back to Empty Candy with a bruise blooming on his cheek and a stupid, oblivious grin. Ramuda tries, pleads with himself-it’s just to preserve Fling Posse. No personal connections-if Dice weren’t on his team Ramuda wouldn’t give half a shit. And Dice does care-hell, he’s the worst liar in all of Shibuya, maybe Japan. Ramuda sometimes thinks he isn’t even trying to hide the fond stares and brutally honest rhymes that convey just how much he loves them.
“Ramuda. Is the heat getting to you?”
Ramuda snaps himself back to reality, blinking the image of Dice’s fanged smirk from his mind and focusing on Gentaro, who’s watching him through emerald green eyes that pierce the almost blurry air in front of him. And suddenly Ramuda feels laid bare; Gentaro is too good at that. One turn of his perceptive gaze and he’s done for.
This damn sauna is too much.
“Nope, nope~! Just doin’ a little thinkin’, that’s all💚” Ramuda pipes up, and he winces when his voice cracks. Gentaro hums in that way that says I don’t believe you. “Seriously, Gen~ta~ro, you have to stop worrying about your dear leader so much! He’s fiiiine!!”
A lie. Ramuda is never fine around Gentaro-but he finds himself chasing the feeling anyway. It’s not love, really, he won’t let it be; he chalks it up to boredom, even adrenaline, maybe. That’s one of the few similarities he has with Dice; chasing Gentaro for the thrill of it. He’s unattainable, unable to be pried open and analyzed like Dice.
Gentaro raises an eyebrow. “Sure, then. Moving on…where is our Dice?” Fuck it all, he has to stop saying ”our Dice.”Nothing will ever be Ramuda’s; it gets torn from him sooner or later.
“Busy gambling away his savings, silly goose! Why’d ya ask?” Ramuda replies. Gentaro’s got him on his toes now, the same back-and-forth he’s grown accustomed to. He knows he does this with Dice, too, though it’s more one-sided, and Ramuda admits that he messes with Dice quite a bit as well. They have their group dynamics, teasing but never prying and that’s how Gentaro seems hellbent on keeping it.
“I would think team bonding entailed the entire team being present.” the writer counters. Fuck, Ramuda’s lying himself into a corner again. The heat is messing with his head.
“Well~you and Dai~su are already so well bonded! I see how well you guys work together; but you’re sooo distant! We gotta get to know each other!”
This makes Gentaro pause for the first time during this little banter. Somehow, Ramuda doesn’t feel as accomplished as he thought he would.
“You want to know me. Okay, then. My name is”-there’s a tense pause where Ramuda prepares himself for some outrageous lie-“Izanami Hifumi~! The most popular host in all of Shinjuku~!”
Despite himself, Ramuda giggles, only barely remembering his voice. “Oh, Hifumi…” he says, deepening his voice to an almost comedic rasp, “I’ve had such an awful day. My luck is just shit.” He doesn’t actually know Kannonzaka Doppo all that well, but from what Dice has complained about Ramuda thinks he’s pretty on point here.
Gentaro seems more comfortable falling into this role; Ramuda gets it. If he can’t be honest as himself, he’ll be honest as another man. “Oh~Doppochin~how can I make this up to you?” The author casts a glance down at him, and Ramuda only now registers that they’re close enough to see each other’s faces clearly through the steam. Gentaro faux-pouts, lips pursed and eyes just ever so slightly lidded. Uh oh.
“Just let me sleep…” Ramuda groans, dramatically pressing the back of his hand to his forehead and dropping against Gentaro’s arm. It’s one of the only times he’s felt the other so closely, where he can’t hide behind his silk robes.
“Aw, come onnnnn…” Gentaro whines in his shockingly accurate impression of the Shinjuku host. “Just one kiss? For my dearest, for the stars in my sky?”
Ramuda is petrified by how badly he wants to hear that in Gentaro’s real voice-he’ll blame his next words on the lightheadedness later. “Say that again.”
Gentaro drops the Hifumi impression. “One kiss…for the stars in my sky?” It’s not exactly the same, but Ramuda doesn’t care. He’s on the verge of passing out and if he dies in this stupidly hot sauna with this stupidly hot man he’s at least going to get his money’s worth.
“Hey, Gen-chan.” he says, voice somewhere between its normal tone and its sugary shell. “I need a favor.”
“Mhm?” Gentaro says, seemingly indifferent but Ramuda can hear the tenseness in his voice; the first crack in the other’s facade he’s seen in a while but he’s too delirious to care.
“I’m about to do something very stupid, and I need you to just go with it and promise to never mention it ever again.”
Ramuda’s vision is blurring and if he hears Gentaro’s faint “For my stars, anything,” before their lips connect then he won’t remember it, and for a solid ten seconds all he feels is Gentaro, Gentaro, Gentaro before his world goes black.
He’ll wake up in Yorozuya Yamada later, fan blowing on him and Ichiro keeping a watchful eye. There’s one text on his phone, and he blinks sleep from his eyes to check it-it’s Gentaro.
I brought you back to the brothers since it was close and you knew them. I hope you feel better soon.
Well, Gentaro never broke his promise; Ramuda can give him that. Before he can dwell on anything that happened Ichiro is hovering over him, mismatched eyes shining with concern. “You good?”
Ramuda sighs. “I gotta stop taking recommendations from you. No offense.” Ichiro just laughs.
“Guess that’s fair given that you ended up on my couch. What happened? That writer guy dropped you off in a hurry.”
Ramuda takes a deep breath. “If I knew, really, I’d tell you.
But fuck it all, kid, I think I might be in love.”