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“I’m telling you, Trevor, something is wrong. He’s been real quiet lately.”
Trevor ran a hand over his head. This was the part of deployment he hated the most, feeling useless. He took a breath, “Is he home now?”
“Football practice.”
Damn. He sighed, “Do you think he knows what’s going on? You think Jesse contacted him?”
“No. The lawyer said he doesn’t think Jesse has any idea where we are.”
Trevor nodded to himself. “We should tell him, Rox.”
“Absolutely not! I do not want TJ worrying about this. We can –.”
“Alright, Rox. You win.” Trevor caught sight of his C.O. entering, “I’ll be home in a week. I’ll talk to him then.” His C.O. gestured for him, “I gotta go babe.”
“Alright. Love you.”
“Love you too. See you soon.”
“Be Safe.”
Trevor smiled before hanging up the phone.
---
A week later Trevor was hugging his family at the airfield. That was the first time he noticed the difference in TJ. When he hugged Trevor his fingers dug in a little more than they usually did, he held on a longer than he use to.
And over the next few days Trevor saw the way TJ hesitated, talking less and spending more time alone. It was almost a shock, the difference between the firework he’d left and the teen he’d come back to.
When Roxy took the twins to the park and Finn had gone off to a friend’s house Trevor seized his opportunity. He knocked on the door and waited for TJ to answer before walking in.
The room always made him smile. On one side was everything that Finn was – odd puzzles and a rock collection and a bunch of books on things Trevor hadn’t thought about since high school. The other side was TJ’s, and for Trevor it was like walking back in time to his own room at 14. Army paraphernalia was scattered on the wall with random photos and a stack of comic books sat by the bed.
“What’s up?” TJ asked as he sat up, a Captain America comic falling into his lap.
Trevor plopped onto the foot of the bed, grinning, “That would be my question.” TJ looked confused, “You’ve been really quiet lately. What’s wrong?”
TJ opened his mouth to protest, but a look from Trevor silenced him. His eyes drifted down to his comic book, “It’s nothing.”
“Yeah, right,” Trevor scoffed, “I’m your dad, TJ, give me a little credit.”
TJ’s jaw clenched and he suddenly found great interest in the floor next to his bed. Trevor tried not to react to his confusion. TJ had always been a yeller like his mother, this was new.
“TJ.” Trevor tried, placing a hand on his son’s shoulder. He clipped TJ’s chin, pulling his face up to look him in the eye. There were tears there, “What’s wrong?”
“You’re not.”
“Not what?”
“You’re not really my dad, not the way I want,” TJ’s voice was breaking, but he didn’t stop, “I’m not going to look like you when I’m older, or turn out like you did.”
Trevor felt a bit like crying himself, “Where’s this coming from?”
TJ tried to look away again, but Trevor wouldn’t let him. TJ took a breath, “I heard mom on the phone. She was talking with one of her friends about him.”
“Jesse?” Trevor offered and TJ nodded.
“She said I looked a lot like him,” TJ was vague and Trevor saw right through the avoidance.
Trevor urged him on, “I know you, that wouldn’t affect you like this.” As TJ remained reluctant Trevor moved to set next to him on the bed instead of across. He put an arm around the teen, “Tell me.”
TJ did manage to look away this time, “She said when I’m angry I remind her of him.” He was as stiff as a board in Trevor’s arms, “I…I don’t want to remind her of him, not ever, but…”
“Especially not like that.” Trevor finished for him, pulling him close. TJ turned into the embrace, hiding his tears in his father’s shoulder like he had done only once or twice before as a kid.
Trevor rubbing his back, trying to calm the teen. He knew it was something TJ worried about, he knew because he’d worried about it too growing up. He’d been afraid of turning out like his father, and TJ was too.
“You’re nothing like him, TJ, I swear,” Trevor told him, “You’re mom’s been stressed lately and sometimes things come out wrong.” TJ held tighter, “She loves you TJ, she’d be the first to tell you if you asked that you’re not capable of hurting someone like he did.”
TJ shook his head, moving just enough to speak, “But I am. I hurt Lucas that one time and I scared Finn and –.”
“Did you mean to? Were you trying to hurt him?” the lack of response was enough answer for him. Trevor looked down at TJ, the red eyes and the fear. He sighed, “Your mom’s going to be mad I told you, but…Jesse’s been trying to contact us. Or, well, you.”
Eyes wide, TJ pulled away, “Why?”
Trevor ran a hand over his head, “He wants to meet you.”
“But –.”
“Your mom’s set against it. She doesn’t want him near you.”
TJ was swiping at his tears now, “That’s why she’s stressed.”
Trevor nodded, “Look. I’m not exactly his biggest fan.” He met TJ’s eyes, “But, if you need to, we’ll set it up so you can meet him.”
“I don’t want to meet him!” TJ yelled, jumping off the bed, “He hit mom! I don’t want anything to do with him!...Ever!”
“I know,” Trevor smiled, “That’s why I know you’d never do the same thing, TJ.” TJ narrowed his eyes at him, confused. “Think about it TJ, could you ever see yourself, even at your absolute worst, hurting your mother like he did? Or one of your little brothers?”
He got up, placing his hands on TJ’s shoulders. A little dismayed to see that TJ was almost as tall as him. TJ shook his head.
“Exactly,” Trevor smiled at him, “I want you to remember that. Any time you doubt it, just do that, try to picture doing the same thing. I’d be willing to bet you never can.”
TJ nodded, murmuring a quiet agreement. Trevor pulled him in for a hug. “Thanks, dad,” TJ said in a whisper. Trevor kissed the top of his head.
“We’re home!” Roxy’s voice cut through the house and Trevor let his son go.
“I’m going to talk to your mom,” Trevor said, ruffling TJ’s hair. TJ followed him out of the room, but turned left towards the bathroom rather than right for the stairs.
Trevor heard the sound of the shower turn on overhead as he walked into the kitchen. Roxy was placing a snack on the table for Drew and Wyatt. He gestured with his head to the living room.
“Hey,” Roxy smiled at him, “Did you talk to TJ yet?” Trevor blew out a breath, preparing himself for the temper that TJ had actually inherited.
--- Six Years Later ---
“Specialist!” TJ turned at the sound of the familiar voice. He was out of breath from a run, but he pulled his hand up to salute the post commander.
“General Sherwood,” TJ greeted, standing at attention until Frank saluted back.
Blue eyes narrowed on the red head, “You wouldn’t happen to have started PT again would you?”
“Yes, sir,” TJ responded quickly, “Started back up this morning.”
“Really?” Frank shook his head, “Only been a few weeks since someone dug a bullet out of your leg.”
No matter how straight TJ kept his face, Frank could see the smirk, “I was cleared yesterday.”
Frank was looking at him carefully, “Dismissed.” As he was walking away TJ heard the general muttering, “Boy’s just as stubborn as his father” and TJ couldn’t help but smile all the way back to the barracks.