Chapter Text
Eddie: This is a mistake
Venom, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!
Eddie: But not today
Venom, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess
Eddie: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Venom: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Eddie: Absolutely not.
Eddie: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life
Venom: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?
Eddie: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.
Carnage: edible
Eddie: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Venom: Not if they consent to it.
Anne: Depends who you’re stabbing.
Dan: YES?!?
Dan: Truth or dare?
Venom: Dare
Dan: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room
Venom: Hey Anne
Anne, blushing: Yeah?
Venom: Could you move? I’m trying to get to Eddie
Eddie : We need to distract these guys
Venom: Leave it to me
Venom: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Anne, Dan, and Carnage : *Immediately begin arguing*
Shriek, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.
Eddie : Anyone d-
Venom: Depressed?
Anne: Drained?
Dan: Dumb?
Carnage : Disliked?
Eddie : -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...
Eddie : Venom, keep an eye on Anne today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Venom: Sure, I’d love to see Anne get punched.
Eddie : Try again.
Venom, sighing: I will stop Anne from getting punched.
Eddie : WHY. why did you give Anne a KNIFE?!
Venom: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe.
Eddie : Now I feel unsafe!
Venom: I’m sorry.
Venom: ... would you like a knife?
Eddie : What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Venom: The car takes a screenshot.
Anne: For the last time, get the fuck out.
*Eddie and Venom sitting in jail together*
Venom: So who should we call?
Eddie : I’d call Anne, but I feel safer in jail