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Alex walked into the lab to see Lena in front of a computer running some kind of complicated program and Kara playing this little piggy with a baby lying on her cape.
“What the fuck,” she said looking at them.
“Oh hi Alex,” Kara said smiling at her sister.
“Why is there a baby? I thought you were finding a way to defeat Lex.”
Alex looked from the baby to Kara then Lena and back again.
“Uh so… funny story,” Kara said giving Alex a nervous look.
“We turned Lex into a baby,” Lena said not looking away from her computer screen.
There was a long moment of silence as Alex processed that. The moment stretched out.
“I’m sorry, you what?” Alex asked.
Lena sighed turning away from her computer to properly address Alex.
“He broke into the fortress before we were ready, there was a fight we threw some random alien tech at him, there was a big flash of light and now he’s a baby.”
Alex looked from Lena to Kara to baby Lex. He started making unhappy noises so Kara went back to playing with his toes.
“Why are you playing this little piggy with Lex Luthor?” Alex asked.
“One because he has adorable little toes,” Kara said smiling as she wriggled said toes. “And two he likes it.”
“Since when do we care what Lex Luthor likes?” Alex demanded.
“Since he started crying really loudly when he got sad,” Lena said returning her attention to the computer in front of her.
Lex wriggled then scrunched up his face.
“Uh oh,” Kara said taking a step back. “Lena!”
Alex was beside Kara in an instant her hand on her gun as she scanned the baby for signs of danger.
“What’s wrong?” Lena asked not looking away from her screens.
“He’s doing the poop face,” Kara said.
Lena glared at Kara.
“No! I’m not doing it,” Lena said crossing her arms. “I did the last one.”
Kara looked at her and waved her hands.
“He’s your brother.”
“Exactly. I am not cleaning shit off him again you do it.”
“He’s a family enemy I can’t do it.”
“But you can play with his adorable little toes? You wanna play with his toes then you gotta change him too,” Lena said pointing a finger threateningly.
Kara made a face and sighed. She looked at Alex. Alex glared back.
“I am not changing his diaper.”
Kara sighed again scrunching up her face then she gagged as the smell hit her.
“How does it smell so bad?” she asked picking him up and carrying him away.
Alex looked from Kara to Lena and back again.
“So how long-”
“I’m trying to work that out now,” Lena said.
Alex nodded and took a seat. Kara came back a few minutes later tickling Lex’s belly making him giggle.
“Who’s a little mass murderer? You are!” Kara said in a sing song voice.
Lena stepped away from her computer with a sigh. She turned to address Kara and Alex.
“Okay so well not good and bad news more interesting news,” Lena said. “From what I can tell he’s not faking it he is actually a baby. But he has his adult self and mental capacity and memories and stuff locked away.”
“So right now he’s an innocent baby but eventually he’ll change back into himself with all his memories?” Alex asked.
Lena nodded.
“And when is that supposed to be exactly?” Kara asked.
“That’s harder to know. All I can really be sure of it’ll be anytime from the next hour to a year from now.”
Kara and Alex looked at her.
“Can you be any more specific?” Alex asked.
Lena shook her head.
“It’s alien magic.”
“But it’s definitely Lex and he’s linked to this baby form?” Alex asked.
Lena nodded.
“Okay,” Alex said taking out her gun and pointing it at baby Lex.
Kara quickly shielded Lex from her sister.
“No Alex. We’re not killing him as a baby,” Kara said firmly.
Alex sighed and put her gun away looking disappointed.
“Fine but he can’t be left alone. What if he turns back into himself and escapes before we notice.”
They all exchanged looks.
“So who do we know that can look after him but won’t try to kill him?” Lena asked.
Lillian looked at them, then baby Lex and back.
“You’re all very dedicated to this joke,” she said.
“It’s not a joke. He’s a baby,” Kara said.
Lex seemingly unaware of their concerns was happily sleeping in his sister’s arms.
“Is he going to change back?” Lillian asked.
“Eventually,” Lena said. “We’re not entirely sure when exactly but it should happen at some point. From what we can tell the… um…”
“Babyfication magic,” Kara said.
Lena sighed adjusting her hold on Lex.
“That, is wrapped around him forcing his body back into this form but at some point it will break and he will turn back into himself.”
Lillian nodded looking from baby Lex to Kara and Lena then finally Alex.
“So why isn’t he dead?” she asked. Kara looked at her horrified.
“We’re not going to kill him,” Lena said exasperated. “He’s a baby.”
Lillian looked at them all then nodded.
“Ah I see. Heroic ideals and all that, which is why you came to me. Well I resent the implication but given who this is I can understand. Whence he came he shall end, very poetic.” She sighed heavily. “Leave him with me I’ll handle it.”
Lena took a step behind Kara.
“Again no we’re not killing him. When he turns back we’ll put him in prison but until then someone needs to look after him.”
Lillian rolled her eyes exasperated with her daughter.
“Yes yes I understand. Heroes don’t kill babies. Now hand him over and all responsibility for whatever happens is mine.”
Lena sighed and looked at Kara.
“This is going to be a problem isn’t it?”
Supergirl landed a little awkwardly and looked at the nearby crowd. She saw a policeman standing nearby.
“Sorry can you hold him for a minute?” she asked indicating the sleepy baby in her arms.
The bewildered officer nodded and Kara handed over Lex before launching into the air and right at the dinosaur attempting to claw it’s way out of the lion exhibit.
She returned a minute later to see the officer awkwardly trying to keep hold of Lex as he wriggled attempting to reach the ground.
“Sorry I’m not great with kids,” the officer said apologetically.
“That’s okay. We just can’t leave him unattended unless he changes back and tries to kill people again. Thanks for your help,” Kara said waving her keys in front of Lex to distract him.
The officer looked at her bewildered. But Supergirl was already flying away.
Kara landed back at her loft apartment and handed a crying Lex to Lena.
“He’s crying a lot and I don't know why,” Kara said.
“Have you fed him?” Lena asked.
Kara gave her a look.
“Fed him what?”
“Okay so like how old do we think he is?” Lena asked picking up a tin of baby formula and reading the label as Lex started protesting loudly in Kara’s arms.
“I don’t know,” Kara said. “Just pick one.”
Lena gave her a look.
“He’s a baby I can’t just pick one.”
“Technically he’s a man in his late thirties turned into a baby so…” Kara gave her a look. “Just pick one we don’t really need to worry about his long term development.”
People were staring at them now. Probably because Kara was still dressed as Supergirl, but probably also because Lex was now crying quite loudly.
“Can I help you?” asked a nervous sales attendant.
“Yes,” Lena said immediately. “How old does that baby look?”
The attendant seemed confused.
“Uh…”
Lex cried louder. A woman in her fifties came over and looked at him then handed Lena a tin marked 6-12 months.
“He should be fine with this dear but you really should find out-”
“Thank you,” Lena said quickly.
She grabbed the tin and a bottle and headed straight for the counter grabbing a bottle of water too as Kara followed with the squirming and screaming Lex.
A woman in front of them in the line just stepped to the side motioning for them to go first quickly followed by the rest of those waiting. They didn’t argue.
The cashier quickly rang the items up and they took three steps to the side ripped everything open and Lena prepared the bottle shaking it then holding it out to Kara. A second of heat vision and Lena shook it again then tested it on her wrist.
“Too hot.”
Kara sighed and blew the gentlest breath she could over the bottle. Lena retested then nodded and Kara handed her Lex. Lena managed to get the bottle into his mouth and a second later he stopped screaming and they both breathed a sigh of relief.
Lena looked at Lex then Kara then at the store full of people looking at them.
“Now what?” Kara asked.
Lena shrugged.
“Uh, maybe try social services,” one woman suggested.
“We can’t he’s a mass murderer,” Lena said.
There was a moment of silence as everyone looked at them then Lex who was now making happy sounds as he drank.
“He’s what?” the woman asked.
Lena sighed.
“It’s Lex,” Lena said looking at the woman. “I know it’s weird because he has hair but the baby is my brother. We turned him into a baby by accident and at some point it will wear off and he’ll change back so he cannot be left unattended.”
There was a moment of silence as the random people looked from them to Lex clearly thinking they were insane.
“She’s not kidding. I was there. The baby is Lex Luthor. We hit him with some weird combined alien tech and it well…” Kara waved her hands at him. “Baby. And apparently everyone else thinks we should just kill him as a baby before he turns back into himself.”
A few people exchanged looks. There was a lot of nodding.
“We’re not killing him,” Kara said glaring at the people around them.
Lex made another noise and Lena looked at him. She tilted her head.
“He’s kinda cute for a magic baby version of my evil brother. You know, when he’s not screaming.”
Kara leaned over.
“Yeah, and he’s got that little round belly.”
Kara leaned over and tickled his tummy making Lex giggle and drool milk onto Lena's arm.
“We should probably get like some clothes and toys and... like blankets for him,” Kara said.
Lena just held out her card.
“Get whatever we need for now. I’ll feed the murderer and hopefully he’ll change back soon.”
He did not change back soon. It was soon accepted by everyone, after the video of the fight was released, despite how unbelievable it sounded Lex Luthor had in fact been turned into a baby and would at some point turn back. Until then he was being looked after by Supergirl and his sister.
At one week they accepted it might be some time before he did. Lena stepped back at L Corp leaving things in Sam’s hands temporarily. Kara Danvers also stepped back her job so that one of them was always available to look after Lex. A task they found themselves woefully unprepared for. But after a week, three books on baby care, and several somewhat panicky calls to Eliza they started to work it out, at least the basics.
It was gradual but a strange domesticity settled over them as they looked after baby Lex. The arguments over whose turn it was to change him just became a silent agreement of whoever found it dealt with it.
At the end of the second week Kara just accepted she now lived with Lena and moved in. Kara started making breakfast for them each morning and Lena would do dinner. Lunch was whatever they could scrounge together. Then there was the shopping/memo list on the fridge with both of them writing on it. It became common to see Supergirl dropping down to Lena wherever she was handing her a bag and baby before flying away.
Lex showed no signs of changing back into himself anytime soon so he was, after some discussion, given the spare room and Kara just joined Lena in hers. Toys and a crib were acquired and a special baby monitor made. His room was upgraded with a special lock was put in to prevent him escaping if he changed back while Kara was gone and Lena asleep.
Lex was a strangely happy baby. He would smile when he saw either of them and loved Bunbun, the stuffed toy rabbit Kara picked out for him. He would happily watch any and all fish images, real or cartoon, and his favourite food they discovered was crackers. He loved bubble baths and when he started crawling it was to chase Kara’s cape.
At first the pictures were jokes sent to their friends. Pictures of them playing games with him, or spooning mush into his mouth. Then Lena got drunk one night and created a social media account purely to share the pictures with the world, because she wanted no one to forget her brother had been turned into a baby. It became wildly popular overnight and they just rolled with it captioning the pictures appropriately.
Lex Luthor, enemy of Superman, see his seething hatred for all signs of the hero.
Lex smiling under a superman themed blanket and wearing a little red cape Kara had tied around him
An evil genius they called him.
Lex was frowning at his toy blocks trying to fit the circle in the triangle hole.
Mass murderer Lex Luthor claims another victim.
Lex chewing on Bunbun’s ear.
Then the pictures changed slightly.
Lena was napping on the couch with Lex asleep on her chest his head tucked under her chin and her arms protectively around him.
Luthor siblings at each other’s throats once more.
Kara with her hair up her suit open to reveal her t-shirt underneath and a frustrated expression as she tried to get Lex to eat his porridge instead of smearing it in his hair.
Luthor vs Super in porridge war.
Lena holding out her hands smiling at Lex trying to get him to walk to her.
Lena Luthor pleads with brother to join her.
They started going out “as a family” Lena and Kara smiling and laughing with Lex in their arms. They took him to the park for daily walks making sure they were dressed down to not draw attention.
Then realising that no one was going to attack them they got a little bolder taking Lex to the grocery store with them and for walks around the city. Then the zoo and aquarium where he got very excited looking at the fish. Then there was the trip to the beach, and the outings to various food and cultural festivals.
The people of National City were strangely supportive of their activities with a city wide game created of Where's Lex. People would take pictures from a distance of him out with them and tag them with #EvilBaby. They were remarkably respectful of their personal space when partaking in the game.
But the biggest moment came three months in when Kara was trying to get Lex to walk and Lena was filming it live.
“Can he do it… again. Come on Lexy prove you’re still a genius and walk to Supergirl,” Lena said.
Kara held out her hands and to their shock a smiling Lex took his first steps -again. This resulted in cheers and Lex being swept into Kara's arms where she covered him in kisses. Then as though they’d done it a thousand times before Kara and Lena turned to each other and kissed smiling at each other then Lex.
It took a moment for them both to realise what they’d done.
“Uh…”
Kara’s eyes were wide and shocked. Lena recovered first and grabbed the front of Kara's supersuit pulling her in for a second kiss.
They both forgot it was a live video. At least until the next morning when they saw the front of every newspaper and tabloid showing their kiss.
Six months later...
There was a flash of light from down the hall and a crash sound. Kara and Lena raced into the room to find Lex Luthor blinking up at the ceiling and holding a baby blanket over himself as he lay in the remains of his crib.
“What happened?” he asked looking around confused.
“We accidentally turned you into a baby,” Kara said.
They exchanged a look then Kara grinned.
“Hey Lex, have you still got that rash?” Kara asked. Lex glared at her. “We’ve been putting the cream on it but it might still be on your tushie after the change. Do you need me to check?”
Lena snickered as Lex looked at Kara in abject horror.
“Aw did someone wake up early from his naptime?” Lena cooed. “Does Lexy want his mushy pears? Or his Bunbun?”
Lex looked at them both. He looked around the room then back at the grinning women.
“How long was I a baby?” he asked.
“About nine months,” Lena said.
He swallowed then looked around the room again and back to the two of them.
“I take it you both…”
They nodded.
“Everyone else was in the kill Lex as a baby camp,” Lena explained. “So we fed you, changed you, put you down for naptime. We even taught you to walk, again.”
“We’ve got lots of pictures and video. We of course shared them with everyone. You’re very popular,” Kara added. “You also really liked the aquarium.”
Lex seemed to be struggling to absorb that news his face turning red.
“Hey Lex,” Lena said smiling. “Guess what.”
“What?” he snapped.
“You’re under arrest,” Kara said holding up the modified cuffs as Lena pointed a gun at him.
“What happened to giving me mushy pears and my Bunbun?” Lex muttered.
“You don’t have hair anymore,” Lena said the gun still pointed directly at him.
The arrest of Lex Luthor made news around the world. Pictures of him in his cell universally shown alongside pictures of his baby self for comparison. The final image for Where's Lex being posted by Lena showing her brother in his new cell arms crossed and glaring at her.