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“Have you ever had sex with a guy?”
“What?”
Cherry cleared his throat and tried again. “Have you ever—”
“No, I, uh, heard you,” Joe fumbled, mind racing. “Uh, giving or receiving?”
Cherry blinked back in surprise. “I assumed you would give—”
“You know what, it doesn’t matter,” Joe interrupted. He hadn’t had sex with a guy, mostly because there was only one guy he ever wanted to have sex with and he was currently sitting next to Joe on the couch, staring very intently and asking very bizarre, out-of-character questions.
“Well. It kind of does,” Cherry said cagily.
Joe chewed his bottom lip, stalling. What…what was the right answer to this question?
“I…haven’t,” Joe admitted honestly, immediately second-guessing. “But I, uh, understand the mechanics?” Which was true. Theoretically. He had done a lot of research just in case the opportunity someday presented itself.
Cherry eyed him analytically, head cocked slightly. That must not have been the answer he’d expected and he was recalibrating.
“But you’ve…with girls, haven’t you?” Cherry asked critically. “Anal?”
Joe had no fucking clue what his expression looked like but he prayed it at least resembled a straight face. Uh, no pun intended. Hearing the word “anal” from Cherry’s mouth was not on his list of things he expected to happen today. Or ever.
“Sure,” Joe said, trying to sound nonchalant.
“You have experience?” Cherry asked at the same time.
“Yeah,” Joe answered, butterflies building a tornado in his stomach.
“So, could you have sex with a guy, do you think?” Cherry asked too-carefully, eyes flickering from the floor to look Joe in the eye and Joe thought those fucking butterflies might just vomit out of his mouth.
Joe had fantasized about this happening in a million different ways. Yet somehow he was totally unprepared for Cherry staring straight at him and asking, “Would you have sex with me?”
Standing outside Cherry’s front door, Joe took a deep breath (one of many so far). Should he knock? He probably should, right? When was the last time he fucking knocked though? He had a key for fuck’s sake. Wait, would he have to give it back if—
“I hate being bad at things,” Cherry said, not waiting for Joe’s answer.
“O…kay? That is not news.”
Cherry scowled, which Joe found oddly reassuring because Cherry scowling was normal. Unlike—
“I—I don’t want to do this with someone and be bad at it,” Cherry explained, still explaining nothing. “And I don’t want to be surprised the first time so I wanted…I wanted to do like, a practice run.”
Joe’s eyes narrowed, trying to put the pieces together. What he came up with was utterly preposterous and couldn’t possibly be right but—
“Wait. Are you planning on sleeping with someone?”
Cherry scowled (again? still?) and his face flushed pink. Which normally Joe would think was adorable and tease him until he turned totally red but this was not normal and the implication of being right flipped Joe’s world completely upside-down.
“Yes,” Cherry snapped. “Is that so surprising?”
“Yes!” Joe answered emphatically. “Since when?!”
“Since it’s none of your business!”
“So you were just going to use me to pop your cherry—”
“Kojiro.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be punny,” Joe grumbled, because it was true and he hated that he couldn’t appreciate the inherent humor of the whole thing because honestly this would be hilarious if it was anyone else but it was happening to him so it was not fucking funny.
“I wanted someone I could trust,” Cherry blurted. “And since you already stick your dick into anything that moves, I didn’t think it would be such a big deal—”
“Oh that’s a helluva way to ask for a favor.”
“If you don’t want to do it, then just say so,” Cherry said angrily, eyes shiny with hurt. “I’d hate for you to feel used.”
“Just—just hold on,” Joe said. He was pretty sure that he’d regret saying no, regardless of the bizarre situation. Not that he’d actually considered refusing him. He inhaled deeply, trying to calm down. “You’re serious?”
Cherry glared back flatly.
“Okay, yes, you are,” Joe said, scrubbing his face with a hand.
“You don’t have to do this,” Cherry said quietly. “Forget I even asked.”
“I’ll do it,” Joe said immediately. Maybe too immediately. “If—if you’re sure. I’m…I’m glad you asked. Me. I’ll do it.”
From there it was all in the details, which were Cherry’s forte even if sex wasn’t.
“So, like…you wanna go on a date or something first or..?”
“No,” Cherry said with a curt shake of his head. “That’ll just make it weird.”
Right. Like this wasn’t…weird.
“Where are you thinking? I’m cool with my place or we can book a hotel if you want something neutral?”
“My place is fine.”
Joe was surprised. “Are you sure?”
“That way I can…prepare. And it’s familiar. One less thing to worry about.”
So that’s how Joe was here, on Cherry’s doorstep, bottle of wine in hand just in case, wondering if he should’ve dressed up a little, wishing he would’ve made Cherry go on a date with him, and panicking two seconds after knocking hoping Cherry didn’t answer the door naked for the sake of expediency.
“You didn’t have to knock,” Cherry said, opening the door with a frown. And clothed. So that was a relief.
Cherry was still a little pink from the shower and probably somewhat pink from embarrassment, his hair hastily piled on his head with a few strands damp against his neck.
Joe could see the holes in his ears left from his piercings.
He’d kind of hoped to unwrap Cherry from his yukata; he certainly hadn’t expected baggy pajama bottoms that had seen movie night sleepovers since high school (Joe was pretty sure they were actually his from back then). And a too-large shirt Cherry still denied filching from Joe’s closet when he visited him during his apprenticeship in Italy all those years ago.
Is this what Cherry’s boyfriend would see? Would he unwrap Sakurayashiki-sensei’s yukata their first time? Or would he see Kaoru, adorably nerdy and casual, and peel him out of Joe’s clothes?
“Kojiro?” Cherry prompted then looked down uncertainly. “Should I have worn something else?”
“Huh?” Joe said, startled. “No, it’s fine.” He smiled, hating how fake it felt. “You look cute.”
Cherry scowled and Joe resisted the urge to laugh. “Don’t be gross,” he muttered, turning to go inside and assuming (correctly) Joe would follow.
“Brought you a present,” Joe said, lifting the bottle of wine as he made himself at home. That was the whole point of doing…this…here, after all. So it would feel as normal as possible.
Joe had grossly miscalculated.
“Thought it might…help,” Joe added lamely.
“Maybe…maybe just one,” Cherry conceded. “I don’t want to be drunk. Or buzzed.”
“Say no more,” Joe said, already rummaging for the corkscrew. He poured a couple glasses—wondering if he needed it more than Cherry did at this point—and handed one to Cherry. “We can have a little drink while we get to know each other.”
Predictably, Cherry rolled his eyes. “I knew I shouldn’t have done this with you,” he muttered. After taking a sip, his eyes widened in surprise and he immediately looked at the label, then at Joe. “This is—”
Joe shrugged sheepishly. “It’s a special occasion.” He took a drink, unable to taste a thing.
“If you say so,” Cherry said skeptically.
“I do. Don’t…don’t you think so?”
“I guess,” Cherry shrugged.
“No glasses tonight?” Joe asked, resisting the urge to brush fingertips against Cherry’s temple.
Cherry’s hand automatically started to his face, catching himself and stopping halfway. “Oh. Uh, no. I…didn’t want them in the way.”
“Does that mean you won’t even be able to see me?” Joe asked, a little hurt. Though it made sense, if Cherry wanted to pretend he was someone else. Anyone else.
“I have regular contacts in,” Cherry explained. “I…I don’t want Carla to know about this.”
“Right.”
An awkward silence hung between them.
“Sooo, do you wanna watch a movie or something to kind of—?”
“I’d rather just get right to it.”
Joe smiled slightly. “Of course you would.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cherry asked defensively.
“Nothing. It’s just very…you.” Joe noticed Cherry’s wine glass was emptying at a remarkably rapid rate. “Nervous?”
Cherry followed his glance. “No,” he lied, draining the rest.
“I am,” Joe admitted. “I’ve never done this before.” At Cherry’s startled glance he clarified, “I mean, I’ve had sex before, obviously—”
“Obviously,” Cherry said dryly.
“—but I haven’t had sex…uh, well. With someone who didn’t actually want to have sex with me, I guess. It’s kinda weird. I feel like a sex stunt-double.”
“I would think you’d like that.”
“It does sound kinda cool, doesn’t it?” Joe finished off his wine. “So, bedroom?”
“You know, if you’re nervous and it’s weird, we don’t have to—I’m sure I can manage—”
Joe hefted him into a bridal carry. “Bedroom?” he asked again.
“What are you doing?!” Cherry asked, wide-eyed and blushing to the tips of his ears.
“This is part of the sex stunt-double package,” Joe said. “No pun intended.”
Cherry snorted. “You don’t have to—”
“I want to,” Joe cut him off. Then winked, because he knew Cherry found it insufferable and being annoyed at him would ease Cherry’s nerves. “Let me do it. Because I seriously doubt Mr. Boyfriend will be able to.”
“Oho,” Cherry said with an arched eyebrow and accompanying smirk. “Listen to you.”
“You didn’t deny it,” Joe pointed it out as he walked him to the bed. Cherry just rolled his eyes, so Joe knew he’d won. “You want me to set you down nice and romantic-like or throw you on there?”
“Just throw me,” Cherry sighed dramatically. “Romantic would just be too weird.”
“You got it,” Joe said, tossing Cherry onto his bed with a “hup!” He could’ve sworn Cherry hit the mattress with a little giggle. He reached for the hem of his snug t-shirt and paused before peeling it off. “You do want this off, right?”
“…Yes.”
Joe hesitated. “Did…you want to take it off?”
“That’s not necessary,” Cherry said, dragging his bottom lip between his teeth. Joe didn’t know if that meant he was lying or nervous. Or excited. He hoped excited. “By all means, continue.”
With a lopsided grin Joe peeled off his shirt in one smooth motion, flinging it in the general direction of Cherry’s closet. And was immediately taken aback by the predatory intensity of Cherry’s eyes on him, sharply contrasting with otherwise sitting deceptively calmly on his bed, loosely hugging his knees to his chest with his legs crossed at the ankle.
Cherry had seen him shirtless. A lot.
And as far as Joe could remember, never looked at him like that.
“Like what you see?” Joe teased, because he couldn’t not, and just happened to flex as he ran a hand through his hair.
Cherry snorted. “No denying you’re impressive,” he said coolly. “Before you ruined it by being a dumb gorilla, anyway.”
Joe grinned and opened his mouth to say “get an eyeful while you can—I bet Mr. Boyfriend doesn’t look like this” but stopped himself at the last minute. He hated thinking of Cherry’s mystery boyfriend…almost as much as he hated Cherry thinking about him.
“All of it?” Joe asked instead, gesturing to his lower half.
“Leave your underwear on for now,” Cherry said, pinking slightly.
“Good idea,” Joe said with a nod, sliding out of his shorts and chucking them somewhere hopefully close to his shirt. “Don’t want you to get scared and run away.”
He palmed the condoms he’d kept from his pocket and set them surreptitiously on the nightstand next to a very un-surreptitious brand new bottle of lube. He almost rolled his eyes; Cherry was a lot of things but subtle was not one of them.
“Oh whatever,” Cherry scoffed, but Joe heard the amusement in his voice. “Like I haven’t seen you naked more than anyone?”
“Good point,” Joe said, because it was true. He crawled onto the bed, confidence evaporating by the minute. “Hey. Um. Isn’t…isn’t this cheating?” he asked.
So much for not thinking of the boyfriend.
Cherry’s lips twitched as he tried to hold back a smile. “You just now thought of that?”
“Dude, cut me some slack! I’m still trying to wrap my head around the whole thing—”
“It’s not.” Cherry cut him off. “We’re not…exclusive, I guess you could say. So you calling him ‘Mr. Boyfriend’ is really a misnomer. We’re not actually dating.”
“You’re not even dating and you’re already thinking about jumping into the sack with this guy?” Joe asked, distressed. As soon as it left his mouth, he realized his mistake and cringed.
Cherry just stared back at him, incredulous. “Oh. OH. That is a hell of a thing for you to say to me!”
“That’s not…” Joe trailed off, laughing. “Okay. You’re right.”
“What a fucking hypocrite,” Cherry continued.
“Okay, okay! I said you’re right! I’m sorry!” Joe smiled, daring to crawl closer. Cherry just stayed folded up, hugging his knees to his chest. “Are you just going to stay like that all night or..?”
Cherry looked down, almost surprised to find himself still balled up. Lacking his usual grace, he unfolded. Mostly. With an audible swallow he reached for the bottom of his shirt.
“Can I?” Joe blurted.
Cherry frowned. “Do you…want to?”
“Yeah,” Joe said, placing his hand over Cherry’s to stall him. And touch him, but Cherry didn’t need to know that. “It’ll help kind of get in the flow of things, I think. I know you’re ready to just get to it—” He grinned so Cherry would know he was teasing and glare at him, which is what he wanted. “—but I think you should leave it on for now.”
“Why?” Cherry asked skeptically.
“Just trust me.”
“Oh, so you can pretend I’m a girl?”
“What? No!”
“No?”
“No,” Joe said again. Frowning, he looked into those usually-fearless golden eyes. Well, they were still fearless, he supposed. But now there was something… “This is really hard.”
“I thought you were supposed to be a pro at this,” Cherry said, irritated, causing Joe to bark a laugh. “Do you want to stop?”
“No,” Joe insisted, because he didn’t want to stop. He just wanted to do it for real. “It’s just…I can’t be sexy with you because I expect you to make fun of me for it.”
“Oh I will. For sure.”
Joe laughed. “C’mon! I mean, if we’re…pretending…then you have to help me out a little and pretend. Y’know?”
Cherry frowned uncertainly. “So what would you do, like…normally?”
“Besides a super romantic dinner date that you turned down?”
“Yeah, besides that. And getting me sloshed,” Cherry said dryly.
“I wasn’t trying to get you sloshed—fuck, I can’t afford that with your tolerance—” (that got a begrudging smile from Cherry) “—I was just trying to kind of take the edge off, is all.”
“I don’t think that’s possible,” Cherry admitted very quietly, stabbing Joe’s heart in the process.
“Can I kiss you?” Joe asked, starting to reach for Cherry’s face but thinking better of it at the last minute and cautiously running a hand down his arm instead.
“Do you want to?” Cherry asked warily.
“Yes. And are you going to ask me that every time I ask if I can do something?”
“Probably,” Cherry admitted.
“Well…don’t.”
Cherry cocked his head slightly. “But then how will I know?”
“Fine,” Joe said, exasperated. “Ask away, then, if it makes you happy. So…can I? I know we didn’t really discuss, um, these rules. I didn’t know if you’d prefer I didn’t…”
Cherry just shrugged. “You can if you want.”
“Okay, cool,” Joe said, relieved yet more nervous at the same time. He really needed to get it together; he was looking more and more like a bumbling virgin by the minute. It was all he could do not to laugh—leave it to Cherry to completely wipe out over a decade of sexual experience and prowess.
He did indulge in a tiny smile. Sure, he was a totally uncool nervous wreck but at the same time this was kind of exciting.
If they were doing it for real it would even be fun.
Ah.
Enough of that.
“Okay,” Joe said again, cupping Cherry’s jaw and hoping Cherry couldn’t feel the tremor in his fingers. “I’m gonna kiss you now.”
“Alright,” Cherry said calmly.
“Okay.”
Cherry just looked back at him expectantly. Joe froze.
“Are you going to do it?” Cherry nearly whispered.
“I can’t with you staring at me!” Joe blurted. After momentary surprise, Cherry laughed, his smile cradled in Joe’s hand.
Cherry closed his eyes, a slight smile still on his lips. “This better?”
“Yeah,” Joe said, just a breath, and brushed their lips together.
He’d been thinking about it for over twenty years.
He was finally kissing his best friend.
If he made it through the night without crying and/or confessing it would be a miracle.
It was unfairly perfect, as far as first kisses go (dismissing the pre-kiss awkwardness, anyway) since they had the advantage of being adults (even if Joe felt thirteen again) and of being able to prepare so they had freshly-brushed teeth (though now slightly wine-flavored tongues).
Joe wasn’t going to ruin it by wondering if Mr. Non-Boyfriend had kissed him first.
Barely catching himself before he groaned, Joe pulled back just enough and his ego doubled in size as Cherry chased his lips.
“Good? Doing okay?” Joe asked, breathless.
Cherry nodded. “More?”
Joe smiled, already leaning back in. “Yeah.”
It had been a long time since Joe enjoyed just kissing this much. It was like doing it with Cherry made everything new. He lost himself in Cherry’s lips, his mouth, his tongue, his teeth. To his surprise (and delight) despite Cherry’s earlier inclination to “get right to it” he kissed slowly, sensually…like they had nothing better to do in the world.
Joe was perfectly fine with that.
Still, it was only natural to ease Cherry back just so, laying him against the pillows, Joe’s hand simply resting against Cherry’s ribs underneath his shirt. One hand gripping Joe’s shoulder and the other curved around Joe’s neck, toying with green curls, Cherry pulled him closer, coaxing Joe on top of him.
“Aren’t you supposed to be seducing me?” Cherry asked, sucking on Joe’s earlobe, rubbing his thigh strategically between Joe’s legs.
“Haven’t you ever heard of foreplay?” Joe tried to retort, distracted by Cherry’s leg pressed against his…brains. “This is more for your benefit than mine.”
“I’m fine,” Cherry lied. “Chop chop.”
“Just so you know,” Joe said, kissing wetly down Cherry’s neck, “you probably shouldn’t say that with…you know.”
“Oh?” Cherry tilted his chin, giving Joe more room give his neck proper attention. “So just saying—” he turned his head to whisper seductively in Joe’s ear, “—‘fuck me’ isn’t recommended?”
Joe groaned, barely resisting the urge to grind against Cherry’s leg and biting into the juncture of his neck instead. Probably a little too hard—
“Aah,” Cherry gasped, tapering into a whine that made Joe realize no, it hadn’t been too hard at all.
“No, it is not,” Joe said, licking over the pronounced bite mark and kissing it gently before sucking back up Cherry’s neck, adding a bit of teeth now that he knew that was okay. “You’re lucky I’m a gentleman,” he admonished before devouring Cherry’s mouth. In probably less-than-gentlemanly fashion.
“Of course,” Cherry said, because he had to get the last word in even while trying to shove his tongue down Joe’s throat. “My gentleman gorilla.”
‘My.’
Joe licked the word from Cherry’s mouth, savoring it even as he reminded himself that to Cherry it meant nothing.
Despite Cherry’s earlier insistence on “chop chop” and “get on with it”—or maybe because of it—Joe was determined to tease this whole crazy thing out for as long as possible. He’d been waiting years for this and by the sound of it, would get one chance.
One chance before Cherry got the experience he wanted and then moved on to have it with the person he actually wanted it with.
Joe honestly didn’t know if it was petty vengeance or truly an act of love but he wanted this first time—this time with him—to be the best sex Cherry would ever have. And if that wasn’t entirely possible, well. He planned on setting the bar and setting it as fucking high as he could.
He nipped at the corner of Cherry’s bottom lip where his piercing (and the subject of many masturbatory fantasies) had been, sucking appreciatively before starting to move his mouth down as his hand moved up, bunching Cherry’s (his) shirt as Joe’s fingers skimmed along Cherry’s ribs, leaving goosebumps.
“Careful,” Cherry warned. “I’m ticklis—” Joe brushed his thumb across a nipple. “—sshhaah.”
“Ticklish?” Joe smirked, laving the other nipple with his tongue. “Is that what you call it?”
“Sssh-hah-shut up.” Cherry glowered even as he arched slightly, his dick seeking friction even if his brain was pissed about it. “You donnnn’t have to do this stuff—”
“I want to,” Joe said easily, enjoying himself. Cherry’s nipples were everything he’d thought they’d be: pebbled, delightfully sensitive, and perfectly pink in the way only Cherry could be. “Don’t bother lying and saying you don’t like it.”
“That’s not the ahhhn point,” Cherry continued to argue, blunt nails digging into Joe’s shoulders (which just egged him on).
“That is absolutely the point.”
“You have—” Cherry swallowed a whine, throwing one arm over his eyes to hide his face, the other still with a death grip on Joe’s shoulder. “You have big girl boobs in your face all the time,” he tried again, “you don’t need miiiiiine.”
“Hmm,” Joe hummed with his lips against Cherry’s nipple, enjoying the slight buck in response. “But yours have a certain appeal.” He tried a slow swirl of his tongue, eliciting a gasp. “Mostly because you sound like that.”
“Shut up,” Cherry panted. “I hate you. And for fuck’s sake just take my shirt off already I hate having it all bunchy.”
Joe laughed, indulging in one last suckle before sliding back up. “Yes, hime-sama,” he said, divesting Cherry of his shirt. “And I believe it’s my shirt,” he added, tossing it off the bed.
“You know, even if maybe at one point it might have been your shirt—just for the sake of argument—it has been in my possession now for over five years which I’m sure exceeds the statute of limitations—” Cherry stopped mid sentence, looking down at his own chest before looking back up at Joe, propped above him. “What? What are you looking at?”
“Huh?” Joe asked brilliantly, caught staring. “Oh. Uh.” He smiled sheepishly. “You.”
Cherry frowned uncertainly. “Why?”
“Because you’re beautiful,” Joe said, conking their foreheads together gently. “I swear, you’re the dumbest smart person I know.”
“I don’t want to hear that from someone with muscles for brains,” Cherry said, angling for a kiss.
Joe was happy to oblige.
Their kisses grew progressively urgent and wandering, ragged breaths punctuated by moans with increasing frequency. After one particularly erotic “fuck” out of Cherry as a result of Joe latched onto his neck, Joe remembered there was actually kind of a…point to all of this.
And judging by Cherry’s desperate grind against him, it seemed like a good time to move forward.
“Ready, baby?” Joe asked breathily, the endearment automatically slipping out of his mouth.
Cherry froze and Joe knew he’d fucked up.
“Don’t call me that.”
“Sorry, I’ll—”
“I hate ‘baby’,” Cherry continued. “I hear it and immediately think it’s just a convenience so you don’t have to remember names. And then I get distracted wondering how many others have been baby.”
He should have known; Cherry, despite being the most unique person Joe had ever met (and he knew a certain borderline-homicidal politician who skated in a fucking matador costume, so that was saying something), placed a ton of importance on being special.
Of course he’d bristle at such a generic pet name.
Though it did seem a smidge hypocritical given the situation.
“You’re the only person I know who’d deliver a dissertation on ‘baby’ in the middle of sex,” Joe said with a smirk.
Cherry bristled, his expression grossly at odds with his rosy flush and kiss-swollen lips. “Well—”
“It’s okay,” Joe said. He tried to make his voice as low and sexy as possible: “Ready, wimpy megane?”
Cherry burst out laughing, giving Joe’s chest a backhanded swat.
“Was that better?” Joe asked with a grin, back in his normal tone. He switched again to low and velvety, “Can I stick my fingers in you now, snotty brat?”
“Fucking stop,” Cherry squealed. “But yes. Those were better. Minus the sex-voice.”
“You’ve got some weird fucking taste then,” Joe said, grabbing the lube.
“Obviously,” Cherry agreed. “Just look who’s between my legs right now.”
Joe closed his eyes for a second and gripped Cherry’s hip to steady himself, caught off guard. “That…was way hotter than it had any right to be.”
“And you say I have weird taste.”
“You do have good taste in sleepwear,” Joe said, bending to kiss Cherry’s hipbone as he slid down the waistband of Cherry’s (Joe’s) pajamas. “Oh. Right. Because they’re mine.”
“Whatever,” Cherry said weakly as Joe’s mouth roamed lower and lower, hands spanning his hips and cupping his ass underneath the pjs. “Why do you think everything I have is yours?”
“Uh, because it is?” Joe said, not bothering to suppress a groan as he gripped Cherry’s cheeks, lifting his butt so he could strip him. He followed Cherry’s legs with his hands, hands splayed to touch as much skin as possible as he peeled the pajama pants away, exposing…everything.
“Don’t look,” Cherry complained, covering his face with his hands.
“That’s not going to happen,” Joe said bluntly, enjoying the view. He’d prefer Cherry didn’t have his face covered since that almost ruined it but…
An awed smile formed on his lips. Cherry was absolutely, totally naked in front of him, pale and gorgeous and—Joe’s eyes went to Cherry’s cock, just as unfairly beautiful as the rest of him—excited.
“What?” Cherry asked, peeking through his fingers. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it before.”
“True,” Joe said slowly. They grew up together; they’d seen each other naked a lot. But… “Never like this though.”
“What was I thinking when I asked you to do this,” Cherry groaned (not in the sexy way), muffled behind his hands.
“You wanna stop?” Joe asked, kissing the inside of Cherry’s knee.
“No,” Cherry replied petulantly.
Joe snorted at his tone. “Are you sure?” The snap of the cap on the lube was oddly loud in the silence.
“Do it.”
“Kaoru—”
“Do it,” Cherry said again, only now removing his hands to level a stare. “Unless you’re chickening out?”
Joe clenched his jaw. How many times had they done this? And did Cherry think he was really being sneaky? Did he think Joe hadn’t figured out this game fucking ages ago?
Any time Cherry was truly afraid, he’d call Joe chicken. It was twisted, sure—but he’d figured out a way to use his own ornery, contrary, competitive nature to manipulate himself. Because if they both were scared—haunted houses, dangerous tricks, questionable stunts, whatever—Cherry could hardly back down after mocking Joe for being afraid.
His own stubbornness boxed him in to seeing it through.
Joe knew all of this. And hated that he did, because it made him hesitate.
If he was a good person—the sweet, sunshiney caring teddy bear that so many people thought he was—he’d stop. He’d say he was chicken and thus give Cherry an out, and maybe get one last kiss and it would be over.
That would be the “right” thing.
Instead, Joe liberally lubed his fingers, rolling them to warm it as he kissed, nipped, and sucked his way from Cherry’s knee to the crease of his hip.
He could feel the tension under his tongue.
“It’ll be okay,” Joe murmured, trying to convince himself. He kneaded Cherry’s ass with his other hand, belatedly wishing he had time to just indulge in exploring him everywhere.
But he didn’t have time because this wasn’t real.
So.
Sliding one of Cherry’s legs over his shoulder, Joe settled between, spreading Cherry’s cheeks—
“Do you really have to look at it?” Cherry complained.
“Yes,” Joe said, blowing lightly on Cherry’s hole and watching it twitch.
“Kojiro,” Cherry whined. Joe wasn’t certain if he was pissed or turned on. Hell, knowing Cherry, he was turned on and pissed about it.
“Relax, Kaoru,” Joe said, circling Cherry’s rim with a slick finger. “Let me in.”
“I’m trying,” Cherry gritted out, annoyed.
Joe snorted, then felt a little bad about it. “Don’t try. Just…” He didn’t finish his sentence, every ounce of his awareness in his fingertip as he slowly slid in. “Fuck.”
“What?” Cherry asked, concerned and sounding a bit pinched.
“What?” Joe said, belatedly realizing he’d cursed aloud. “Oh nothing, you’re just…you’re doing good.” Almost hypnotized by the sight of his finger slowly disappearing inside Cherry, a thought struck him. “So, um, you have like…used your fingers before right?”
“Why?”
“Well, I mean…” The thought that he might be the absolute first person to touch Cherry here was almost more than Joe could bear. “I just wondered, since you seem so ti…ght…”
“Gorilla.” Cherry reached down, sticking a splayed hand in front of Joe’s face. “Look at the size of my fingers then look at your fat gorilla paws and tell me if you still don’t understand.”
Joe laughed, catching Cherry’s hand before he pulled away and kissed the palm.
“You’re awfully sassy for a guy with my finger in his ass.”
Joe expected some snide remark or biting retort. Nothing.
“Kaoru?”
“I don’t know any other way to be,” Cherry mumbled. “Even…even while doing this.”
Joe groaned, turning his head to suck softly on Cherry’s inner thigh. “I know you don’t,” he said, trailing wet kisses and knowing with absolute certainty Cherry doing this with anyone else would break them both.
Then, because he couldn’t help trying to lighten the mood and hopefully distract Cherry at the same time, “I know you don’t, baby.”
“No baby!” Cherry reprimanded, heeling Joe in the shoulder, which shifted him around Joe’s finger, eliciting a gasp. Maybe from both of them.
“Okay?” Joe asked.
“Yeah…” Cherry said slowly. “That, um. That wasn’t…bad.”
“Oh?” Joe said with interest, experimentally moving his finger, sliding it nearly out before starting to ease it back in again.
“Maybe…” Cherry swallowed thickly, shifting his hips slightly. “Maybe…another?”
Joe slid his finger all the way in.
“Or maybe not quite yet,” Cherry amended, frustrated. “It can’t always be like this, can it?”
“Did you expect different? Your whole aesthetic is rigid and uptight.”
“Fuck off. You knew the job was dangerous when you took it.”
“True. Though I did expect you’d be a little easier. Since you have a stick up your ass all the time.”
Cherry laughed before he could hold it in. “Oh shut up, dick.”
“My dick’s not the one talking. Yet.”
Cherry softened around him as he laughed. It was working! Okay, sure it felt a little strange to be thinking up teasing insults and witty (like Joe hadn’t tossed his wits away with Cherry’s (his) shirt) banter in place of sexy murmurs and sweet nothings, but who cared—it was working!
Uh. Mostly.
“Relax,” Joe said, easing in a second finger.
“Just so you know,” Cherry said tersely. “You telling me to relax does not help at all. It has pretty much the opposite effect.”
“Of course it would, you’re so contrary,” Joe muttered. “Tense up, that’ll make it feel great.”
Cherry laughed. “Asshole.”
“No, I’m pretty sure that’s where my fingers—”
“Don’t say it!” Cherry squealed, covering his face with his hands.
“At least you can’t get mad at me for calling you a tightass anymore. Because now we have proof.”
“Ha ha, funny,” Cherry said with an eyeroll and slight twinge as Joe adjusted his fingers. “Just concentrate on what you’re doing. Goodness knows, I don’t want to.”
Joe chuckled, working slowly, kissing Cherry’s inner thigh. “Are you really going to be able to do this?”
“Are you?”
“Such a brat,” Joe muttered affectionately, brushing light kisses in hopes it helped Cherry relax. Or distracted him from his ass anyway. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Cherry hesitated. “Do you want to stop?” he asked in a tiny voice.
“No,” Joe said honestly. “But I meant are you sure you still want to do this with…” He tried to concentrate on the sweet taste of Cherry’s skin and not the nausea churning in his stomach. “…the other guy. Is he even worth it?”
“I want to do it,” Cherry said.
Joe had never felt so conflicted in his life.
“Isn’t this enough?” Cherry asked plaintively, interrupting his thoughts.
“I don’t want it to hurt. You don’t want it to hurt.”
“But this is taking forever—”
“I have time. I’ll make time. Tell Carla to clear your schedule. Let’s go on a vacation. As long as it takes.”
Cherry snorted. “That’s hardly practical. ‘Oh, by the way, it’s going to take a week to actually prepare for sex.’”
“If he’s not willing to spend a week between your legs then he’s not worth your time.”
“Ah,” Cherry said, just a little puff of surprise as Joe curled his fingers.
“It’s okay to enjoy it, yknow. Just quit thinking about it and—”
“I. Can’t.”
Joe was pretty sure that Cherry, in fact, could, if only he’d let himself. Get out of his head long enough—
His head, huh?
“Hey, can I…can I lick you?” Joe asked, immediately hating how stupid he sounded.
“W-where?”
“Oh. Uh.” Joe huffed an embarrassed laugh, then licked Cherry from base to tip, relishing the absurdly soft texture against his tongue and the bitter tang of precum. “Here.”
Cherry gasped. “Why—” He swallowed and tried again. “Why’d you ask if you were just going to do it?”
“It’s okay?”
“You…want to?” Cherry sounded genuinely surprised.
“Yeah,” Joe said, mouth watering. “I want to.” He made an exaggerated (only slightly) slurping sound and Cherry half-giggled.
“Oka—ahh,” Cherry breathed as Joe swallowed him down. One hand gripped the pillow while the other clenched in Joe’s hair and Joe hummed appreciatively around Cherry’s cock in response.
“Oh, um, sor—” Cherry panted, starting to loosen his grip.
“It’s fine,” Joe said. “Go for it.”
“I wouldn’t like it if someone pulled my hair.”
“I would,” Joe said simply, and Cherry’s laugh turned into a groan as Joe took him in his mouth again. “Especially if you make sounds like that while you do it.”
“S-shut up,” Cherry said. Though Joe noticed he renewed his grip, followed by a whine.
“Good?”
“What do you thinnnn—” Cherry moaned and Joe swore he could taste it. “—think?”
“You don’t have to get mad,” Joe teased, pulling off to tongue Cherry’s sack as he wiggled his fingers just enough to catch Cherry’s attention. “I could, um, try here. If you want.”
Cherry tightened around him. “I don’t.”
“Are you sure?” Joe asked, swirling his tongue around the head of Cherry’s cock, uncertain whether to listen to Cherry’s words or the obvious interest from his ass. “I don’t mind.” He salivated at the thought.
“I do,” Cherry said, voice so breathy and sexy it made Joe’s dick twitch.
“You don’t have to kiss me after, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“No, it’s not that, I— it’s just too embarrassing. I don’t want to.”
“Okay,” Joe conceded, kissing the crease of Cherry’s thigh reassuringly, then sucking there, marking him. “Maybe next—” Joe stopped, catching himself at the last moment.
“You just about said, ‘maybe next time’ didn’t you?” Cherry said, amused.
Curling his fingers a bit, Joe just hummed noncommittally as he took Cherry into his throat.
But Cherry had definitely clenched on his fingers when he said it.
“You don’t have to hold back,” Joe said after catching Cherry nearly bucking into his mouth.
“I hate you,” Cherry said, which Joe appreciated because it was very normal and routine, even if the absolutely fucking erotic way Cherry moaned as he said it was anything but. “I—hahhh—I thought you hadn’t fucked guys.”
“I haven’t,” Joe said, using the flat of his tongue to lick up Cherry’s entire length, unable to get enough. He wanted Cherry to come down his throat so bad, wanted to taste that too. “But I have one too, I can guess what to do with yours.” He sucked him down, emphasizing his point, then backed off with a swirl of his tongue. “And I’m pretty confident in my tongue work. Not to mention I eat for a living.”
“I thought you cooked for a livinnnnng,” Cherry said, adjusting his grip in Joe’s hair and still obviously resisting thrusting into Joe’s mouth.
“Close enough.”
Fortunately, years of restaurant work had also taught Joe how to be a supreme multitasker. Which turned out pretty handy once he had his fingers in Cherry’s ass, his mouth on Cherry’s cock, and reached his other hand up to tease Cherry’s nipple.
And judging by the involuntary spasms around his fingers and erratic thrusts into his mouth, it was highly effective.
Joe would short-circuit his beloved genius robot if it was the last thing he did.
There was also the added benefit of this…three-pronged approach taking just enough mental capacity to keep at least some blood flow to his brain rather than it all just going to his dick.
“Shitfuck, Ko—” Cherry choked on a moan. “Kojiro, what— that’s enough—”
“Hmm mm,” Joe hummed around him.
“But I’m close,” Cherry near-whined (and Joe loved it). “It’s too much—”
“Good,” Joe breathed, pulling off to talk between licks and swirls of tongue. “That’s really good.” He looked up at Cherry, holding his eyes with a grin as he licked lazily up the shaft, reveling in the flavor of Cherry’s cock on his tongue. “You can come more than once, you know.”
“Shut up,” Cherry glared, breathless and debauched.
“I want you to—”
“I don’t,” Cherry panted. “I don’t want to finish in your mouth—”
Joe swallowed him down again, urged on by the admission that Cherry was on the verge, his own cock throbbing in anticipation of tasting him as he pulsed down his throat—
“No!” Cherry yanked him off with the fist in his hair. Joe stared back, surprised and worried maybe he’d gone too far when Cherry angled his hips just so, pressing insistently against Joe’s fingers. “I want you.”
Joe…didn’t have the words. His robot had short-circuited him instead.
“I’m ready,” Cherry added. “For you.”
“Okay,” Joe said, because that’s the only thing he could muster, still dazed and somewhat amazed that he hadn’t come on the spot. “Okay,” he said again, carefully slipping his fingers out as he dropped kisses to Cherry’s hipbones, his navel, adding a couple last hickeys to the silky skin of Cherry’s inner thighs.
Because to him those purple marks were like an hourglass—as long as they remained, he’d still belong to Joe. Cherry would still be his.
Though probably nothing so gentle as that. Maybe the timer on a bomb would be more accurate?
Licking over a faded scar low on Cherry’s belly, Joe stripped out of his underwear, breathing a tiny sigh of relief at finally having freedom. Sitting up on his knees, he reached for a condom he’d stashed on the nightstand. Without thinking he ripped it open with his teeth and Cherry surprised him with a snort.
“Did you practice that in a mirror or something?” Cherry teased. “I bet the girls think it’s hot.”
“No I didn’t but it is hot,” Joe said.
“Mm,” Cherry hummed, amused. “I guess that’s what makes you a pro.”
“You make it sound like I’m a porn star or a gigolo or something.”
“Aren’t you a gigolo?”
“How much are you paying then?” Joe said, then immediately regretted it. He’d just been fucking around but the sentiment hit a little too close to home. “Don’t answer that. You’ll ruin the mood.”
“I always ruin the mood, I can’t help it,” Cherry said with a shrug, looking for all the world like they were having a conversation over coffee and not with Joe between his legs, rolling on a condom. Which maybe proved his point.
“I kinda like that about you,” Joe said, not entirely meaning to say it aloud. But it was true; there was something he found endearing about how one moment Cherry could be nothing but breathy curses and moans and the next be witty and nonchalant. It was something so uniquely Kaoru that Joe relished it.
Though someday he would like to take his time and see exactly what it would take to break through all that, to get Cherry so wound up and so wrecked to the point of incoherence.
Was it even possible? Did it matter? Joe would still like to try—
Oh right. There would be no “next time” or “someday” for them.
Joe cupped Cherry’s hip, thumbing across the purple marks he’d left on Cherry’s hipbone.
“So, um…facing the other way is supposed to be easiest for a first time—”
“I don’t want to do it that way.”
Joe was pleasantly surprised. He thought for sure Cherry would prefer being able to look away, pretend he was someone else—
“It’s embarrassing to be ass up like that,” Cherry added.
“Ah,” Joe said, slightly disappointed. “Of course.”
“And is…is it weird that I want to see you?” Cherry said, gnawing on his bottom lip. “I think, um, that looking at you will…will give me something else to focus on. Besides…” His eyes flickered to Joe’s almost painfully hard and possibly intimidating cock and somehow, despite already looking utterly debauched, managed a flatly disgusted glare. “That.”
Joe snorted, leaning in to brush a kiss to Cherry’s cheek and another to his sneer for good measure. “That look is definitely a first in this situation.”
“Well you deserve it,” Cherry grumbled.
“Hey,” Joe said quietly, continuing soft, deliberate kisses over Cherry’s face.
“Don’t say it.”
“You really don’t have to do this,” Joe continued in a whisper, ignoring Cherry’s warning. “You can change your mind. It’s okay.”
As the silence stretched, Joe seriously thought Cherry was going to back out. To change his mind, call it off, admit he couldn’t do it—didn’t want to do it.
With him.
“Are you trying to put this on me?” Cherry asked and at first Joe didn’t understand. “You’ve changed your mind but you don’t want to admit it so you’re hoping I change mine?”
“No!” Joe blurted. “That’s not—”
“Do you still want to?” Cherry asked. With an oddly deprecating smirk, he reached down and palmed the head of Joe’s cock. “I know this does—” Cherry’s smirk fell away and Joe’s dick had a mind of its own, trying to chase Cherry’s retreating hand. “But do you?”
Joe wanted to. Of course.
But he wanted to tell Cherry he loved him first.
“I do,” Joe said instead, kissing him.
Cherry wrapped his legs around Joe’s waist, coaxing him forward. Joe slicked himself up and painted a little extra over Cherry one more time to be safe.
He shifted his hips, cock pressing against Cherry’s hole and looked to him for one last confirmation.
Cherry nodded seriously and Joe had to kiss him one more time before—
Before.
“I think I’m more nervous than you are,” Joe admitted in a whisper against Cherry’s lips.
Cherry smiled, soft and genuine. “That’s why I asked you to do this.”
In that moment, Joe’s heart felt full to bursting. He couldn’t do it, couldn’t continue this way—he opened his mouth to pour out all of his feelings, confess I love you into Cherry’s parted lips—
But Cherry kissed him, the press of his knees against Joe’s ribs urging him in as if he knew what Joe had been about to say.
And didn’t want to hear it.
So Joe did the only thing left to do. Carefully, slowly—
“Don’t hold your breath,” Joe said, realizing he was holding his.
“I’m not,” Cherry lied.
—and of course Cherry was tight; Joe had no doubt that even if he’d made good on his promise to spend a week down there, he’d still be tight because that was just Cherry.
But he also felt like heaven.
Because that was just Cherry too.
The heat, the pressure, the perfection was near overwhelming as Joe’s eyelids fluttered shut for a moment and he exhaled slowly, trying to regain his composure. To keep from being completely swept under by the sensation.
“I’m in,” Joe said, which felt like the understatement of the year. Of his life.
“I…can tell.”
Joe huffed a laugh, brushing a kiss to the corner of Cherry’s lips, moving to kiss the shell of his ear. “You’re amazing,” he whispered. “So perfect.”
He moved back to Cherry’s mouth, kissing him slowly. “Doing okay?” Cherry just nodded. “I’m gonna move now.”
“You don’t have to narrate every little thing,” Cherry said, too breathy to be properly irritable.
Joe looked down at Cherry beneath him, burning the image into his memory: cheeks flushed, hair mussed, lips kiss-swollen. And of course that tiny furrow between his eyebrows.
Buried to the hilt in his best friend he was so hopelessly, ridiculously in love Joe knew he would never recover.
Senses overwhelmed by Cherry warm and tight around him, Joe peppered light kisses all over his face, determined to cover every inch. He couldn’t get enough. Was pretty sure that if this moment lasted forever he still couldn’t get enough.
“Gross,” Cherry grumbled, squinching up his face.
“Don’t scrunch your nose at me,” Joe said, kissing the tip of his nose, “or I’ll just keep doing it.”
“Yuck,” Cherry protested, laughing.
Joe kissed his smile then…moved.
Carefully. Slowly. Deeply.
The whimper he inhaled off Cherry’s tongue was the best thing he’d ever tasted.
“Okay?” Joe asked.
“Yeah,” Cherry replied, though he sounded a little tense. “You?”
“You feel fucking amazing.” Another slow thrust as he mouthed along Cherry’s neck. “I can’t even…fuck.”
“I bet you say that to all the boys.”
Joe laughed into Cherry’s neck, licking the sweat and sucking a mark there without really thinking. “Nah.” Out and in, excruciatingly hot, slick, and slow. A couple kisses along Cherry’s jaw, sucking his bottom lip before resting their foreheads together. “Just you.”
Cherry didn’t say anything to that and Joe realized he couldn’t. Because this wasn’t a “just you” moment for Cherry. It didn’t mean…anything.
“Does it really feel that good?” Cherry asked.
“Good doesn’t even come close,” Joe promised.
“Better than your first crail snatcher?” Cherry teased, though Joe caught a tiny wince.
“Better than anything,” Joe said, completely uncool. “There aren’t words. And not just because you think I’m an idiot.”
Cherry smiled at that. “You just feel…big,” he said with another quick flinch.
Joe had to pause for a second at that, stilling himself inside Cherry. “Careful,” he warned with a groan. “Talk like that and you’ll make it bigger.”
“Dumbass,” Cherry scoffed fondly. “Hey, um…”
“Yeah, baby?”
“No baby!” Cherry said, heeling him in the ass. “Call me that one more time and I’m knocking your teeth out.”
“With your dick or your tongue?”
“With my fist or my foot,” Cherry retorted. “Maybe with my forehead, at this angle.”
“Fine, no ‘baby’.” Joe grinned, then softened. “What, Kaoru?”
Cherry scowled and Joe wasn’t sure he was going to answer after all but then he fixed those gold eyes on him and they smoldered—
“Kiss me?”
Joe’s mouth was on his instantly.
Rocking into him slowly, rhythm matching their kisses, eventually Joe felt the tension dissipate, Cherry easing around him.
Almost hating to pull away, Joe leaned back, Cherry’s eyes roaming at his torso on full display. Holding Cherry’s gaze, Joe carefully lifted an ankle up to his mouth, kissing it before propping it on his shoulder.
Then he made the mistake of looking down, seeing himself slide in and out of Cherry, and his hips stuttered momentarily.
“Fuck,” Joe breathed, squeezing Cherry’s thigh with one hand, grazing his teeth against the leg on his shoulder. “That’s so fucking hot.”
“You really like watching yourself in me that much?” Cherry said wryly, back arching slightly in response to Joe hitting the right spot.
“Yes,” Joe said shamelessly. “Because it’s you.”
Cherry scoffed, opened his mouth to say something dismissive or scathing—
“You’re gorgeous,” Joe continued, not wanting to hear Cherry’s denial. He wrapped his hand around Cherry’s dick, sliding his fingers in time with a firmer thrust. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Kaoru.”
“You don’t—” Cherry gasped and twitched in Joe’s hand, grabbing Joe’s forearm. “You don’t have to say—ahh ohfuck!”
“I’m probably not gonna last,” Joe admitted in between kissing whatever skin he could reach. “You feel so damn good and I’m about to blow just fucking looking at you.”
“Id—” Cherry broke off with a sinful moan. “Idiot.”
Keeping Cherry’s leg hooked over his shoulder, Joe leaned forward, moving his hand from Cherry’s dick to the fist Cherry had gripping his pillow, and threaded their fingers together.
“What are you doing?” Cherry asked, looking from their intertwined fingers back to Joe.
“What do you think? I want to hold your hand.”
“You really don’t have to do this romantic bullshit for me—”
“I’m doing it for me,” Joe answered, tightening his grip as he thrust in, rewarded with a whimper. “I want it to be romantic.” He smiled at Cherry’s glower, kissing the furrow between his eyebrows. “It’s my first time too.”
Tears glistened in the corners of Cherry’s eyes, whether from pleasure, pain, or Joe’s words he had no idea.
Soon they regained their rhythm and increased the pace, Joe’s thrusts punctuated by Cherry’s moans and curses and they traded kisses wherever they could reach scattered between shared pants of breath.
“There,” Cherry whimpered, the sound going straight to Joe’s dick. “Fuck yes there—”
“Good?” Joe grunted.
“Don’t make me—fu—ahh!—ckkk—say iiiit—”
“Aw, cmon,” Joe said with a smile, sounding pretty wrecked himself.
“Don’t be a—ahhn—fuckhead, Kojirooooh, fuck!”
“Yeah, fuckkk-fuckhead's way better than baby. So romannnngtic,” Joe said, smothering any retort with a sloppy kiss.
Cherry was squeezing him everywhere—with his legs, with his ass, with his fingers intertwined with Joe’s, threatening to squeeze I love you out of him at any moment, so he babbled Kaoru, Kaoru instead. Cherry’s increasingly ragged breaths and moans fueled him on and he tried to commit the sound to memory with everything else. The feeling of Cherry tight around him, the smell of their mingled sweat, the taste of Cherry on his tongue, and the sight of him, gorgeous and disheveled underneath him—
Like he never would be again.
“I’m—I’m ohfuckyes—”
Joe thought he might come from the fucking sound alone.
Come for me. Come for me. I love you. I love you, Kaoru.
Kaoru.
Kaoru.
“Kaoru,” Joe growled, the heat coiling dangerously in his gut. “My Kaoru.”
“Ahh! Kojiro— Joji!” Cherry cried, back arching and knees clamped against Joe’s ribs, clenching around Joe’s cock as he came, the childhood nickname and spasming heat ripping Joe’s orgasm from him a second later.
With slow thrusts Joe rode out the last of it, face buried in the crook of Cherry’s neck, heart pounding like he’d run (and won) a marathon as Cherry matched him with soft breathy whimpers. As Joe stilled, Cherry curled his fingers around his neck, twining into green curls and pulling him into a long slow kiss, holding Joe inside him for just a moment longer.
Hazy and breathless, Joe kissed the tiny tears of pleasure still glistening in the corners of Cherry’s eyes, trailing kisses over his face before returning to his lips for just one more.
Just one more.
“That was incredible,” Joe murmured. Just one more. “I want to just stay in there forever.”
“Idiot,” Cherry grumbled, blushing and breathless. Still, he ran a hand through Joe’s sweat damp hair, his other hand idly trailing along Joe's shoulder. “Um. Thank you.”
“No, thank you,” Joe said, sliding out with a wince that Cherry shared, then flopped down on Cherry’s chest and sighed contentedly.
“Ew!” Cherry protested immediately. “You’re laying in it.”
Joe laughed. “That’s what you’re worried about?” He turned his head just enough to kiss Cherry’s chest, then rested back down. “I’d bathe in it if I could.”
“You are so disgusting,” Cherry scoffed, shaking with silent laughter underneath him.
Joe grinned; at least he got a laugh. “I’ll help you to the shower and we’ll clean up in a minute, just let me bask for a second.”
“I’m pretty sure I can shower perfectly fine by mysel—”
“I will help you to the shower,” Joe insisted. Cherry just sighed dramatically, lazily trailing his fingers through Joe’s damp hair, nails scratching pleasantly against his scalp and down his neck and back up again.
Joe did help him to the shower, which was a good and necessary thing judging by the fact Cherry’s grumbling was more petulant than actually sincere. After cleaning them both up in the shower, he set Cherry in the bathtub to soak while he changed the sheets.
“Don’t fall asleep in here, shithead,” Joe told him, kissing the top of his head.
“I won’t!” Cherry said irritably, swatting him away and trying to sink out of Joe’s reach. “Fussy gorilla.”
“Isn’t this weird?” Cherry asked as Joe crawled into bed beside him.
“What, me drying you off and carrying you to bed?”
“Uh, no, that is definitely fucking weird and I told you I can walk—”
“And I told you to let me do it,” Joe countered. “It’s why you’re paying me the big bucks after all.”
“I’m not paying you shit,” Cherry said flatly.
“Ah. Well. Complimentary service, then?” Joe tried, tucking a strand of hair behind Cherry’s ear.
“Dumbass,” Cherry sighed. “Anyway, I meant this.” He made some vague loopy gesture with his hand before mumbling, annoyed and blushing, “Sleeping. Together.”
“What’s weird about it? We do this all the time.”
“Not all the time—”
“Kaoru.”
“Fine,” Cherry muttered. “But still. Isn’t it weird to…after we just..? Though that was weird too, I guess…”
“But a good weird,” Joe insisted, snugging an arm around him. Then wasn’t so sure. “Right?”
Cherry’s hesitation dropped an icy weight to the pit of Joe’s stomach.
“Mm,” Cherry hummed after a moment.
“Did…” Joe began, not sure he really wanted the answer to this. “Was I supposed to go home? Did you not want me to stay..?”
“It’s fine,” Cherry murmured sleepily. “I didn’t think you’d want to.”
Joe frowned even though Cherry couldn’t see it. “Of course I want to,” he grumbled, pulling him closer.
Cherry didn’t answer, just burrowed into Joe’s chest, letting out a sleepy but happy sigh (accidentally, Joe was sure) as Joe played with his hair.
All night he’d tried not to think about it. Tried to push it from his mind and just…enjoy. Cherry had been ridiculously up front about the whole thing; it was unfair for Joe to have any other expectations.
“Did you not want me to stay?”
“I didn’t think you’d want to.”
Were they really just talking about the night? Or something...bigger?
Joe’s mind was racing, or tried to. It was horrible timing considering what they’d just done. He wanted to bask in the afterglow, marinate in the feeling of loving and being loved (even if half of it was illusory), soak up this moment of Cherry tucked into him, warm and precious and everything he ever wanted. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin it. He’d have plenty of time later to second-guess, to hate himself, to wonder what he should have, could have done. Later he could be bitter and envious of this mystery guy that stole his Cherry away.
Because right now, Cherry was with him. Snuggled into his chest, safe in his arms—his. Covered in marks that he left, Cherry writhing and moaning for him as he left them. Cursing at him too, but that in itself was special. Cherry would never be that honest with anyone else, scowling and griping and giggling—because yes, even if Cherry refused to admit it, those were giggles and Joe was the one who caused them.
No matter what goofy very-Cherry-esque bizarre reasoning he gave, he asked Joe to do this. Trusted Joe to do this.
To be his first.
So why was he was good enough to be his “first” but not his “forever”?
Though, realistically, the odds of this guy being “forever” were slim to none. Joe immediately felt like a piece of shit for how relieved he was at the thought. He shouldn't want Cherry’s relationship to fail. But he also didn’t want Cherry to be used. Heartbroken. Thrown away by some douchebag with no taste.
Cherry, annoying high-maintenance princess that he was, deserved to be appreciated, adored. Worshipped.
Was this guy capable of that?
Was anyone? Anyone besides Joe?
“Kaoru, I’m sorry.” Joe’s voice sounded too loud to his own ears. “I can’t do this.”
“Um, I think we already…did?” Cherry said, drowsy and a smidge confused.
“No, I mean—” Joe clenched his jaw. “I can’t stand the thought of you with anyone else. The whole time we were doing this I hated the thought of anyone else seeing you this way. I can’t do it. I know it’s sudden and knowing you and your brain you’re gonna laugh at me and blame it on hormones or something but it’s real. I’ve—I’ve felt this way for a long time and just didn’t have the balls to tell you. But now, thinking about you being all cute and laughing and coming for anyone but me is driving me fucking crazy. I— Choose me. I know I can love you forever because I already have. Choose me, Kaoru.”
Cherry bit his bottom lip but in the end it did nothing to stop the grin lighting up his face.
“Kao…ru?” Joe asked nervously.
“It’s you, you idiot gorilla,” Cherry said, laughing and hugging him around the neck. “It’s you.”
“What?” Joe yelped, hands instinctively wrapping around him, hugging him back as his brain tried to catch up. “What?!”
“It’s you,” Cherry repeated again, just breath in Joe’s ear. “It’s you.” He huffed a bittersweet laugh. “Like it could ever be anybody else.”
“What?” Joe said because it was all he could think to say. “Really?” Still hugging him around the neck, hiding his face, Cherry nodded. “Wait—did you trick me?!”
“No!” Cherry protested, then faltered. “Well, I didn’t mean to…”
“First you steal my shirt and then you trick me into having amazing, mind-blowing sex with you?” Joe said, his imminent smile belying his feigned outrage.
“Well it’s not hard to blow your mind when I’m pretty sure you blew it a long time ago,” Cherry said.
“Fair,” Joe conceded, nuzzling against Cherry’s jaw. “Though I blew something else not too long ago and you didn’t seem to mind.”
“Gross!” Cherry slapped a hand over Joe’s mouth. “Just…no.”
Joe grinned against Cherry’s palm, nipping it before reaching up and moving it away, loosely threading their fingers together. “So. What did you mean to do then?” Joe asked in a near-purr. Then it hit him. “Wait. What would you have done if I hadn’t said all that just now?”
Cherry shrugged evasively. “Nothing?”
“Kaoru!” Joe said, hands cupping Cherry’s face to force him into making eye contact. “Are you serious?!”
“Well, it’s not— I just…it’s not like I lied. I did want the experience. I wanted…I wanted to know how it felt. Even just once. And I was afraid of ruining…making things weird. So I though maybe if I framed it very no expectations, no-strings-attached, we’d be able to go back to normal after…”
“O…kay,” Joe said slowly. “But you’re still not really answering my question.”
“I thought if we did it once I could get you out of my system. If it was awful, well, then maybe I could move on from wondering ‘what if’ all the time. And if it was great—”
“Which it was.”
Cherry’s mouth twitched in a momentary almost-smile. “If it was great then it would…be enough. Either way, I could get…closure…and quit…” Cherry trailed off, ending there.
“Quit what?” Joe pressed.
“Don’t make me say it.” Cherry scowled.
“So if I hadn’t freaked out just now at the thought of you with someone else, you would’ve just left it at that? You would’ve just let me leave in the morning believing I was just practice?”
“Well, when you phrase it like that…” Cherry sighed. “Well. Yes. That is exactly what I was going to do.”
“If I wasn’t still on cloud nine from all we just did, I think I would be really mad at you.”
“That’s…probably fair.”
“Did you expect this? That I’d confess?”
Cherry shook his head a little. “No. I— I didn’t really allow myself to consider it. I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”
Joe growled, both frustrated at how fucking wrong his genius was but also annoyingly turned on by how fucking adorable.
“Even now I wonder if you’re sure. Or if just the situation and the oxytocin and your competitive streak—”
“I don’t want you of all people judging my competitiveness.”
“—makes you think you want this. Want me. That this false sense of urgency spurred you into action just because you hate to lose.”
Joe smiled, strained, combing through Cherry’s hair with warm fingertips. “Kaoru.”
“Yes?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way. But I think you head-butted yourself stupid.”
“Excuse me?!” Cherry nearly shrieked. “Me? Stupid?”
“Mm.” Joe placed a sweet kiss on Cherry’s forehead. “One too many concussions, I’m afraid. Poor noggin.”
“Oh! Like I’m going to take that from a muscle-brained gorilla—”
“Well you already took something else just fine, so why not?” Joe waggled his eyebrows.
Cherry gasped. “Kojiro, I will kill you—”
“Muscle-brained or not, I’m now the smart one in this relationship. Sad but true—”
“As if!” Cherry scoffed. “Wait. Relationship?”
“Uh, yes? Or did you just want me for my dick? You know what—I don’t even care. As long as you want me.”
Cherry regarded him thoughtfully. “You really mean that?”
“Well,” Joe said slowly. “I was kind of trying to be funny but…yeah. Yeah I do.” He frowned nervously. “Is that something…you were considering?”
“No,” Cherry admitted honestly. “Your dick’s nice enough but if anything I want you for your food.”
“Are you insulting me or complimenting me right now?”
“Yes,” Cherry said flatly and Joe chuckled; then Cherry turned serious. “You still really want me to choose you? Even knowing now there was no choice to be made?”
“What if there had been?” Joe had to ask.
Cherry frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”
“What if…what if this whole ridiculous setup of yours had been true. What if there was someone else. Would you…after hearing what I just said, would you have changed your mind and chose me instead?”
Cherry hesitated thoughtfully, making Joe very, very nervous. Maybe this wasn’t as much of a sure thing as he’d thought. Then again, with all the weird revelations and bizarre twists he didn’t even know what he thought anymore.
“I know I’m going to regret telling you this,” Cherry said slowly. “And if you ever bring it up again, I will flat-out deny ever saying it. But no matter how annoyed I am by this fact, I cannot even imagine anyone else but you.”
Then in true Cherry fashion, he scowled and grumbled, “Happy?”
“Yes,” Joe said with a crooked smile. “I just wish I’d had Carla record it. I’d make it my ringtone.”
“Idiot,” Cherry muttered, burrowing back into Joe’s chest to hide his embarrassment. And maybe his happiness, Joe hoped.
“Ah,” Joe said, suddenly realizing. Gorilla. Idiot. Dumbass.
They weren’t insults but terms of endearment.
“What?” Cherry asked, wary and a bit sleepy.
“Oh, I…I just thought of something.”
Brat. Wimpy megane. Princess.
How many years had Joe answered right back without even thinking?
“Well don’t hurt yourself.”
“That’s your ‘baby’, isn’t it?” Joe almost blurted then realized he didn’t actually need confirmation. And definitely didn’t want to bring it to Cherry’s attention just in case he wasn’t actually aware of it. Assuming Cherry would even admit it if he knew they’d been disguising affection and pet names as insults their whole lives.
Still, Joe wanted to test his theory.
“So,” he said, smiling softly as he nuzzled into Cherry’s hair, “when are we taking that vacation, shitty megane?”
“Insatiable gorilla,” Cherry snorted. With an eyeroll, he tilted his chin up for a kiss, a knowing little smirk on his lips.