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Two Girls, Four Cups

Summary:

Jesse and Emily go shopping, but not for groceries.

Thanks Quali for the title lmaooo

Notes:

A whole ass crack fic? In my 2021??? Hell yeah babeyyyyy!!!!
LMAO hope you guys enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jesse groaned. “This is where you wanted to shop?” She grimaced at the flashing neon sign, advertising their assortment of undergarments.

“I need some new bras, Jesse,” Emily chuckled. “And god knows you need more clothes than just your Director’s suit and leather jacket.” Jesse grumbled, following her girlfriend inside the store. Immediately, Jesse felt uncomfortable. Not the kind of uncomfortable that you aren’t okay with the things that are happening, but the kind of uncomfortable where she would rather be shopping for groceries or jeans or a new leather jacket or-

“You wear strapless bras, right?” Emily asked. They had stopped at a rack of bras hanging on display. In the distance, Jesse could make out mannequins wearing underwear. She sighed.

Might as well get some while we’re here.

“Yeah,” the redhead answered, stepping forward and examining the bras. She grabbed one and held it up to her chest, frowning when she saw it was too small for her.

What the fuck. Why must titties be tiny?

Beside her, Emily giggled. “Don’t worry, this is just a section of the store.” She glanced around at their surroundings for a moment before pointing to an isle further away. “It looks like there might be some strapless ones down there. Why don’t you go look? I’ll be with you in a sec.” Jesse nodded, turning and walking where Emily directed her.

She was immediately hit in the face with several multicolored bras, some full on rainbow, some just a mix of certain colors. But that wasn’t what shocked her the most. Her face turned red, glaring at Emily.

The lingerie?! Really, Em?

Still, a smirk appeared on Jesse’s face as she picked out a bra with wild colors, getting the lacy underwear to match. She watched as Emily looked thoughtful, pacing back and forth between some bras in a different isle. Jesse wandered into the next isle, finally seeing bras in her size. She picked through them, wanting to find the right one.

Hmm… blue or tan? Or black? Definitely not that green, eugh.

She glanced to the side, seeing a young brunette slowly making her way towards Jesse. The redhead immediately paid attention, just in case. It was a default reaction for Jesse to keep an eye on anyone who seemed suspicious. The woman in the isle with her, though, seemed shy and reclusive. Her muscles were obvious through her tight sweatshirt, and Jesse felt herself getting flustered.

God, I’m so gay.

“Lara!” A voice shouted a few isles down. Jesse fidgeted with the lingerie still in her hand, and the normal blue bra in the other hand. “Lara, I found the perfect one for you!”

The brunette hesitantly looked over at Jesse before turning away, blushing. “Sam, quiet down!” The woman, who Jesse knew now as Lara, hissed. She had a British accent that made Jesse blush. A black haired Asian woman slipped into the isle and wrapped her arms around Lara. “Sam, we’re not the only ones in the store.” They both regarded Jesse, and the redhead felt nervous and hot.

“Uh, it-it’s okay,” Jesse waved them off. “I just, uh- I’m trying to find a certain size. I… haven’t shopped for bras in a while.” She chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. Sam narrowed her eyes before trotting up to the redhead, a hand on her chin. “Umm…”

“Sam!” Lara snapped. The black haired woman had leaned down slightly and stared at Jesse’s breasts.

The fuck?

“Hey, Jess, I found a few that- uhhh…” Emily turned the corner at the worst time. Everyone’s eyes were instantly on her, and Emily widened her eyes in return. “I’m sorry, do we know you?” Jesse and Lara both looked embarrassed while Sam gasped in delight.

“See? She’s got the right idea!” Sam giggled. “You need to wear less sports bras and more of those kind.” She pointed to the small pile Emily had in her arms. By now, everyone was blushing except for Sam.

What is her deal?

“Do you need something?” Jesse asked, uncomfortable. Luckily, Lara seemed to pick up on this.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “ Someone can’t control how outgoing she is.” She glared at Sam, though there was a playful twinkle in her eye. The Asian woman pouted before glancing around towards another isle. Before she said anything, Lara held a scarred hand up.

I wonder what happened for her to get so many scars.

“Yes, we’ll check out the- the lingerie,” Lara blushed. “Let me at least finish shopping for myself.” She looked at Jesse and Emily apologetically. “Again, I apologize for the… awkward meeting. I’m- I’m Lara. Lara Croft.” She held a hand out, prompting Jesse to do the same. “And this is my girlfriend, Sam.”

“Jesse,” the redhead murmured.

“Oh I see, Lara’s the only one with a last name.” Sam snickered. Lara rolled her eyes.

“Emily,” the blonde introduced herself, shaking Lara’s hand. “I’ve heard your name before. Aren’t you an archeologist?” The brunette nodded.

“Yes, I’ve been…” she swallowed. “I’ve been into archeology since I was very little. My late father was also an archeologist. Eventually I found a long lost island in the Dragon’s Triangle called Yamatai.” Both Lara and Sam seemed to shiver at the mention of the name, and Jesse thought it best to drop it.

“I appreciate the history lessens,” Jesse murmured. “But if something bad happened to you there, you don’t have to recount it. We are strangers, after all.”

“Apologies,” Lara murmured. “Anyway, I’ve made numerous discoveries. From ancient artifacts to hidden cities. I’ve made quite the name for myself, and restored my father’s reputation.” She blinked multiple times, hiding tears that Jesse saw anyway.  Then she laughed. “This is so weird, having a deep conversation with strangers in a bra store.”

Jesse and Emily chuckled. “Hey, no worries. We’re weird too.” Emily smiled. She suddenly frowned. “Oh, Jess, we’re gonna be late.”

Shit. Meeting.

“Oof, you’re right,” Jesse sighed. She turned to the other two women. “It was nice to meet you two.” They all shook hands again before Jesse and Emily excused themselves to a different isle.

The blonde seemed giddy. “We met the Lara Croft! She’s a worldwide sensation, especially in the archeological world!”

Jesse couldn’t help but laugh along, walking towards the checkout. “I know,” she smiled. “When I saw her beside me I didn’t even look at her face. It was-“

“Her muscles!” They both said at the same time, then chuckled. “Isn’t she hot?” Emily asked. “God, I wish I had muscles like that. I could fight my parents.” Jesse grinned.

“Lucky for you, I can be your muscle,” she wiggled her eyebrows. Emily glanced at her.

“I noticed the lingerie,” Emily whispered. “I can’t wait to see it on you. Your muscles themselves are heavenly, and imagining you in these?” She pointed at the sexy undergarments in Jesse’s arms. The redhead blushed.

“Then let’s hurry and get home.” She murmured, rushing to the checkout.

“What about the meeting?” Emily called.

“We can still make it,” Jesse grinned. “You just gotta be fast.” They both were furiously blushing, laughing as they raced to the checkout.

Notes:

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