Work Text:
"It's a fuck or die quirk." Hawks says, completely monotone as he reaches for the paperwork at the corner of his desk.
"A what?" Katsuki growls, already agitated.
"Fuck. Or. Die." Hawks enunciates. "What don't you get, God Lord Dynamight Explosion?"
Katsuki lets out a small explosion and slams a fist on the desk, his eyes furious and bloodshot.
"I don't have time for this." Ochako rolls her eyes and groans.
"Villain said that it's a couples quirk. You gotta fuck the other person who's been marked within 24 hours or you'll die." Hawks gives them the paperwork and flips to the copies of the villain's affidavit.
The two of them hunch over their papers and squint as they read through the papers. Both of their expressions go from confusion to understanding to shock to disgust.
"Us two?" Katsuki grits out and gestures between him and Ochako.
"You can't be serious." Ochako grips the armrests of her chair, her fingers turning white.
"I dunno what to tell ya, kid. They're rare, but it was mentioned in the onboarding kit."
"I didn't think I'd ever actually come across one." Ochako pinches the bridge of her nose. "And usually, we have choices from our lists, right?" She looks up at Hawks, hoping that there was some sort of mistake.
"Usually. That's the problem with unregistered quirks." Hawks crosses his arms, leans back and looks between the two of them. "So, what'll it be? Fuck? Or die?"
They turn to look at each other for barely a second before turning back to hold Hawk's gaze and answering in unison.
"Die."
Hawks shrugs and flips the pages in front of the two heroes. "Sign those to free the agency of any liabilities and confirm that this was a choice you took of your own volition, and you're good to go. Have a good rest of the day."
Ochako bites her bottom lip and touches the signature line, looking over at Katsuki. He's already sweat through his papers from holding them. The reality of the situation slowly sinks in.
"Uhh, what if we pick fuck then?" She bites out slowly.
"I get one of the interns to accompany you to the glass room and have them watch to make sure you did indeed fuck and then you fill out the rest of the paperwork."
Her face goes pale as Katsuki chokes out a cough.
"That's not a real fuckin' thing."
"Sure is, Explosion Dynamight Murder. Otherwise, you could just say you're gonna fuck, go home, not fuck, die, and your loved ones sue the agency."
Ochako's jaw hangs slack.
"Insurance is a bitch, kids." Hawks taps his fingers on the papers again.
"Why the fuck ain't you concerned? Two heroes dying looks bad on the agency too." Katsuki narrows his eyes.
"And shouldn't you, like, feel sad?" Ochako adds.
Hawks sighs deeply and points his fingers to the back half of affidavit, to some of the smallest font that the heroes in the room had read.
- "Couples quirk" is defined as a quirk that can only activate on those who have some sort of a mutual attraction that may be realized romantically or sexually.
"Wait, so the quirk only activates..." She trails off
"If the idiots hit with it actually give a shit about each other." Katsuk’s eyes are narrowed to a squint.
"So it won't activate then..." She bites her bottom lip and lets out a fake, dry laugh.
Katsuki looks at her from the corner of his eyes and purses his lips.
"The reason I'm not worried isn't 'cause the two of you aren't affected, but 'cause I know the two of you are fuckin' so you'll pick the glass box option."
"We're not—"
"Not into that—"
Ochako and Katsuki say simultaneously and the former immediately turns to glare at the latter.
Katsuki shrugs.
Hawks is trying his best to hold back a smirk. "My bad, you two used to fuck. Can’t tell me there isn’t some residual friction there, though. Really, this is one of the better fuck or die quirks ‘cause it’s contingent upon attraction. Cuts down on the consent liability paperwork. Even if attraction isn’t the same as consent, insurance is just about liability mitigation.” Hawks shrugs. “The on-site medics confirmed its activation with bloodwork."
"But... I don't feel any different." Ochako purses her lips and frowns. Katsuki grunts in agreement
"Quirk already has the attraction clause, don't think it'd be very effective if it signaled to people that it was active. Everyone would just fuck and get it over with. No drama, no suspense. Anyways, we can offer you the use of a camera for confirmation instead of the glass box." Hawks folded his arms over his chest, face now completely neutral.
"No—"
"Fine—"
The same thing happens again, resulting in Ochako glaring at Katsuki and Katsuki clenching his fist.
"You'd really rather die than fuck me again?" Katsuki grits out.
Ochako purses her lips and avoids his eyes.
"I can't fuckin' believe it." He throws his arms up and presses into his eyes.
"You picked 'die' too at first." She grumbles.
"Well I didn't fuckin' mean it then. It hadn't sunk in. Wasn't really cognized or some shit." Katsuki yells, trying his best to draw upon some of the trauma response literature he'd read over the years.
"Ooookayyy, you two can have the office till you come to a decision, but I'm keepin' the new intern on door duty so don't try to escape without your paperwork!" Hawks quickly shuffles out the door, slamming it shut behind him.
Ochako sighs. "Look, I'd rather not fuck you again, obviously, but I kinda don't wanna die either. I just paid off my parents' debts and I was gonna get Disneyland tickets this year."
Katsuki sneers at her. "Really? You wanna live for Disneyland? The price for fuckin' me is Disneyland?"
Ochako rolls her eyes. "I've fucked you for less."
"Great. I'm gonna fuckin' die, and my obituary is gonna say that my ex didn't wanna fuck me." He plops down back into the chair.
"Oh. My. God. Always so dramatic. We were barely even exes." Ochako says, stepping out of her shoes.
"Cheeks, we're literally gonna die. Drama is warranted. And, we were fuckin’ like every day. Ain’t exactly casual ."
“Well, it’s not like you ever wanted to talk about us, so what was I supposed to assume?” She unlatches her helmet and belt, placing them on her chair.
“You’re the one who just fuckin’ ghosted me!” He scowls and watches her hands move to the zipper in the front of her suit. "What the fuck're you doin?"
"Getting undressed so we can fuck and I can go to Disneyland and you can go to wherever you go." She huffs and pulls the zipper down past her breasts, springing them free from the compression of the built in bra.
Katsuki rolls his eyes. “This ain’t the glass box, Cheeks, fuckin’ here isn’t even gonna help.”
Ochako sighs and points down at a line in their paperwork.
- Bloodwork may be substituted for visual confirmation of successful copulation.
“That fuckin’ bird bastard and his loopholes. Don't have my glasses.” Katsuki mumbles and he starts to unbuckle the belt of his suit.
“He just likes seein’ you sweat.” Ochako chuckles. “They still broken?”
“My sweat is literally explosive!” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “And yea, from that fuckin’ time you called me a ‘DILF’ and climbed me like a tree.” He lets out a wry laugh.
She blushes but takes off her wrist guards, ignoring the last part of his statement. “Maybe keepin’ you sweatin’ is just him bein’ a good boss, makin’ sure you always have a steady supply of sweat and are ready for anythin’.”
“Dunno if there’s any preppin’ for shit like this.” He purses his lips. “So we’re just gonna fuck in his office?” Katsuki raises an eyebrow. “Like old times?”
Ochako frowns. “That was one time!”
Katsuki laughs, stepping out of his combat boots. “Yeah, one time—of many—when you couldn’t keep your hands off me.”
“We all make mistakes.” Ochako mumbles and pulls her suit down to her thighs.
“Oh, you’ve made a lotta mistakes, Cheeks, but fuckin’ me doesn’t even crack top 10.” He pulls down his pants, his half hard cock outlined in his boxer briefs. “Pull down your suit more. We both know that shit doesn’t have the stretch to keep your legs open.”
Ochako rolls her eyes but does as he says. “God, how’re you even hard through this? We could die .”
Katsuki shrugs, grabs the back of her legs and hoists her up on Hawks’ desk. “Said yourself, gotta be ready for anythin’.”
He pulls aside her panties, yanks down his boxer briefs, and starts rubbing his thumb across her clit in a practiced manner. She scowls before wiggling her hips, “Stupid. Hole puncher.” She huffs and swipes across the desk to clear it off so she could sit in a more comfortable position.
“Oi, eyes on the prize here.” Katsuki barks, bringing her attention back to him and how his fingers were moving through her folds.
She nods and sighs, focusing on the feel of his rough thumb rubbing tight circles across her clit. The rest of her body is chilly, but the heat from her core starts to spread through her. She throws her head back and closes her eyes, trying her best to imagine that this isn’t the literal life or death situation.
She groans and flails her feet around Katsuki, who was still situated between her legs, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.
“This isn’t working!” She exclaims.
“Patience, Cheeks. I can see your nipples gettin’ hard.” Katsuki points out by latching his mouth onto her left breast.
“Ugh, ok, yeah.” She hisses and concentrates again. His tongue is wet and lapping across her nipple as he grazes his teeth along the fleshy part of her breast. He laughs into her skin and it vibrates through her entire body.
She feels herself relax just as a thought crosses her mind.
What does the quirk’s paperwork mean by “fuck” anyways? Surely, it doesn’t necessarily mean penetration. Maybe it just means orgasm or something? But it’d have to be something with the other person.
Her eyes snap open and she pats his shoulder.
He pulls off her nipple with an audible pop and glares at her.
“What now?” He growls.
“The paperwork. What does ‘fuck’ entail?” She reaches over to the far corner of the desk, where the pages were now strewn about.
“Great. We’re at the negotiation stage of grief and we ain’t even dead yet.” He steps back and crosses his arms.
“Oh please, I’m just lookin’ for loopholes. And obviously, I’m not the only one havin’ a hard time here.” She glances at his still half hard cock. “Or rather, not havin’ enough of a hard time?”
Katsuki growls and roughly palms himself, running his hand up and down his shaft. “First it was ‘Katsuki why’re you already half hard’, and now it’s ‘Katsuki why’re you only half hard.’ Fuckin’ indecisive as always.”
Ochako’s eyes are scanning the pages in hopes of finding the definition she’s looking for when she absent mindedly retorts. “I’m not indecisive, you just don’t like the stuff I decide, and this is a shit situation, ok, I’m just tryin’ to make sense of it all.”
“No, I just don’t like it when you decide for the both of us.” He glares at her while still moving his hand up and down himself, twisting his wrist and swiping his thumb over the tip. He’s gritting his teeth as his eyes rove over Ochako.
Her eyes soften for a moment as she takes in his words and nods in understanding.
Her whole body’s still on display for him and she’s biting her lip while reading the papers. Her large brown eyes are narrowed, but he can see the pink flush on her cheeks that’s starting to run down her neck.
“Can’t fuckin’ believe I have my dick out and you’re reading paperwork.” He sighs and shakes his head.
Ochako scoffs, “Yeah, like how you’d leave in the middle of the night for an impromptu patrol?” She glances up at him briefly, “Besides, you didn’t even take off your shirt for this.”
He rolls his eyes and rips off the black tank top of his hero outfit. He pauses his and looks at the ground with a small frown. “That’s different.”
“It's only different ‘cause you’re willing to overlook your stuff but not mine.” She looks up at him, daring him to challenge her, before going back to reading.
“I—” He gulps, “I wanna do better.” He whispers.
She sighs. “I believe you. I wanna do better too.” She goes back to reading until she finds what she’s been looking for. “Ah! Clause 2B. ‘Successful copulation’ refers to the exchange and mixture of genital fluids usually provided through orgasmic release.” Ochako looks up at him.
Katsuki scowls as he parses out the words.
“So, we just have to cum and like moosh our goop together.” Ochako gestures between both of their legs and brings her hands together to signify the mixing aspect.
Katsuki grimaces. “Fucking might be easier.”
"Do you think anal counts as a genital fluid?" She muses.
His eyebrows shoot up. "Now there's a loophole I can get behind."
"Calm down hotshot, I'm not doin' unprepped anal on my boss' desk." She puts up a hand between them. "Just curious about the limitations of the quirk."
He grimaces. "Worse than the nerd sometimes."
"Ha, can't believe you brought him up with a hand on your dick."
He sneers at her and a low growl escapes his throat.
She looks at him, amused, and throws the paper away, leaning back on the desk again. “Ok, go again, we can do this.”
Katsuki doesn’t move.
Ochako wiggles and whines. “What’re you waitin’ for? The sooner we do this, the sooner we leave.”
“And you go to Disneyland.” Katsuki raises an eyebrow.
“Yea. Gonna dress up as the frog from Princess and the Frog.” She grabs his hand and puts it between her legs.
“Really? You know an actual frog and you’re gonna dress up as one? Sounds offensive.” Bakugou scoffs and starts moving his hand up and down her thighs, gently grazing her hips, causing a shiver to run down her.
“No, Tsu said it's fine.” Ochako’s voice is heavier and laced with a growing urgency.
“So not fuckin’ surprised you actually asked her.” He grumbles and places wet kisses up her bare torso.
She sighs and arches into him, one hand coming up to thread through his hair. Her nails are scraping across his scalp and he’s starting to pant. His free hand goes back to palming his shaft, finally growing more alert.
“You gonna bring anyone with you?” His voice is quiet as he’s dragging fingers down her increasingly wet folds.
Ochako’s hips buck as she tries to get some more friction and urge him to dip his fingers in. “Why do you care?” She pants out almost as an afterthought.
Katsuki shrugs and dips two fingers into her, curling and pumping them while watching her face. “Just makin’ conversation. You always said I didn’t do enough of that.”
Ochako lets out a low rumble as a third finger dips in and stretches her out. She’s sopping wet now and the squelching sounds of Katsuki’s movements fill the air. “Now’s really—” She moans and her body sags onto the desk, “not the time.”
Katsuki chuckles, dark and low. “Sure it is, Cheeks. We could die .”
Ochako purses her lips and huffs before pulling Katsuki’s lips up to hers into a searing kiss. Her tongue swipes across his open mouth and she bites down on his bottom lip, tugging it as she pulls away. “We’re obviously not gonna die.” She grits out while grabbing for his now fully hard cock.
“You think so?” He pulls back just out of her reach. “I could stop right now.”
Ochako growls. “You wouldn’t.”
Katsuki takes a few steps back but puts a hand on his cock, slowly moving it up and down. “What makes you think that?”
Ochako slams a fist down on the table in frustration. “Please, you’d fuck me for free, and you’ve got your own Disneyland to live for.”
Katsuki glares at her. “You’re my goddamn Disneyland trip. Why the fuck would I wanna do any of that shit alone?”
Her face contorts in confusion. “Wha—?” She trails off.
“Take me with you and maybe I’ll fuck you so we can go.” He’s smirking now, eyes hungry and dilated. “I’ll dress up as the princess to your frog.”
Her jaw falls open. “Are you— are you blackmailing me to take you on my very special, once in a lifetime trip with the actual possibility of death looming over us?” She says, appalled.
“Get a damn season pass, woman, doesn’t have to be once in a lifetime! We’ll go every fucking weekend if you want.” His voice raises.
“You’re so infuriating!” Ochako pinches the bridge of her nose and yells. “Fine! I’ll take you to the stupid amusement park, and you better dress up in the poofiest princess dress ever! Now, can we please not die?”
A toothy grin overtakes Katsuki’s face and he comes back to crowd Ochako’s space, caging her in. “Anything for you Ochako.”
He lines himself up with her entrance and pauses for a moment. “I haven’t been with anyone else since—” He trails off and meets her eyes.
She gulps and nods. “Same. Still have my IUD too.”
“Well, here’s to not dyin’ then.” He thrusts deep into her in one fell swoop and her head lolls back, a contented sigh escaping past her lips.
She knows this fullness all too well. Their time together had carved a Katsuki sized space in her life. This time, however, as much as she feels the tension between her legs, her mind is racing.
He slowly pulls out of her, dragging himself along her walls, feeling every inch of skin between them before quickly flexing his hips and snapping back to her.
“Oh, fuck , there we go.” Ochako moans, getting out of her head for a moment and wrapping her legs around his waist, signalling his next thrusts.
He chuckles and starts moving at a steady pace, pawing at her plush hips, fingers digging into her soft skin.
“Missed this, you know.” He grunts.
“Mhm.” Ochako brushes off his comment and guides his hand down to her clit again.
“I’m serious. Fuckin’ missed you.” He’s licking and kissing at the base of her breasts.
“Yeah, right there, keep going.” Ochako’s eyes are closed and her hands are balled into fists on the desk.
“Wanna go to Disneyland with you.” He looks up at her, nose buried in her sternum.
“Mhmm, you said that, harder .” Ochako’s curling her toes into his ass.
“Wanna get back together.” He stills himself, halfway out of her.
Ochako lets out a low whine. “Katsuki. Shut. Up. We both need to cum to not die, and we need to not die to get back together.”
Katsuki scoffs. “You fuckin’ love it when I talk.”
“I love it when you talk dirty, or praise me, or something that’s not a serious conversation. If I just wanted to hear your voice, I’d get off to your report recordings.”
Katsuki looks amused. “You know, Pinky can’t keep secrets, right?”
Ochako’s jaw falls slack before frustration takes over. “I’m gonna kill her.”
“That’s my girl.” Katsuki starts moving again at a faster and rougher pace. He’s nibbling anything he can reach on Ochako - her hips, her breasts, her neck, her ears. He’s singing her praises as he takes her in. Her eyes are clenched shut and she’s breathing hard, there’s a sheen of sweat running down her whole body, her hair’s messy, and there’s still a bit of dirt on her face from the villain fight earlier that day.
He starts pressing and rubbing into her clit, keeping rhythm with his thrusts until he feels her walls tighten around him. He can tell she’s concentrating on anything other than the whole death situation hanging over them. He’s just trying to take the opportunity he’s been given, having Ochako in his arms and on his cock again.
“Come on, Angel, cum for me.” He pants out as her nails dig into his shoulder and he sees the tell-tale signs of her release when she arches toward him and her mouth falls open to let out a soft mewl. He knows it was hard fought, but a few harsh thrusts later, he joins her, his head dropping to her shoulder, both of them catching their breaths and letting the threat of death dissipate from their systems.
They didn’t exactly feel any different, but that was to be expected since they didn’t feel any different when they were hit with the quirk.
He kisses her shoulder and moves off, withdrawing his softening cock from her and stepping back into his clothes. “That was…” He starts.
“Not our best work?” She offers, her lip starting to curl up slightly at their ends.
He lets out an amused exhale. “Yeah. We’ve done better.”
Ochako nods, pulling her suit back over her shoulders and grimacing at the feel of both of their cum between her legs. “We’ve done better in this office even.” She sighs deeply. “But, we were gonna die. Not exactly a mood maker.”
Katsuki hums in agreement before holding up a finger as if remembering something. He pulls out the second drawer in Hawks’ desk and hands her a set of wet wipes. “Big Bird eats chicken wings in here.” Katsuki shudders.
Ochako furrows her brows for a moment and she wonders if that counts as some form of cannibalism but quickly shrugs it off, not wanting to go there with thoughts of her boss. She wipes herself and throws the used wipes in his grenadiers.
“Oi! That shit’s explosive!” Katsuki grumbles, taking out the wipes and shoving them in his pocket.
Ochako snorts. “Yeah, so are you, but I let you inside me.”
“I don’t explode outta my fuckin’ dick!” He’s scowling but his shoulders are at ease with their teasing banter. "Well, not like that."
Ochako clears her throat and the air thickens. “Did you mean what you said?”
He nods stiffly. “About gettin’ back together? Yeah.”
Ochako sighs as they hear a knock on the door.
“Ready or not, hope you’ve cum!” Hawks says in a sing-song tone as he slowly inches the door open, hearing no protests of half-clothed heroes. He surveys the room quickly, taking in the mess before nodding and saying, “Great, go deal with the bloodwork and papers with Ayaka in Legal while I figure out which intern gets to be the one to sanitize the room this time.” He shrugs. “Small price to pay to get my two fav heroes back.”
Ochako blushes fiercely, avoiding her boss’ eyes and Katsuki rolls his eyes, grabbing Ochako’s hand as they both scurry away.
“You know we still have stuff to talk about.” Ochako whispers as they walk down the hallway.
Katsuki runs his thumb over her knuckles and gives her a genuine smile, “I know, but it's not like we're dying.”