Chapter 1: it's brutal out here
Chapter Text
{0.1} good 4 u
“Earthquakes just happen. Tornadoes just happen. Your tongue does not just happen to fall into some other girls mouth!”
― Gemma Halliday
K A T S U K I
“Why the fuck did you bring me here?”
Kirishima didn’t even flinch at Katsuki’s snarl, simply grinning brightly despite the fact that they stood in the middle of a punk bar. “It’s a local concert, Bakubro! We’ve been working so much, so I figured you’d like a break!”
Katsuki’s scowl deepened. “We’re in a band, Shitty Hair.”
“Yeah?”
The blond alpha felt his patience thin. “You brought me to a fucking concert to take a break from touring. How is thIS A FUCKING BREAK?”
The red-haired alpha’s eyes went wide. “Oh.”
Fucking idiot.
Katsuki’s jaw clenched at the response. “I’m fucking leaving. Midnight wants us resting, dumbass.”
“But it’s Saturday, bro!” Kirishima cried, holding Katsuki in place.
The angry alpha immediately bristled, a snarl rising from his throat. “Do I look like I give a shit?”
Kirishima clung closer to Katsuki, pouting at his best friend with puppy dog eyes. “Just hang out tonight, please! I’ll even do the bus chores tomorrow!”
“You should do that anyway, dumbass!”
“I knew you’d say yes!”
Fuck my life.
Katsuki huffed and allowed Kirishima to drag him to the bar. The entire building was strangely crowded and full of eager people, all dressed in a variety of unique styles. A few stares were shot their way, no doubt by fans who probably wanted to come say hi.
But they knew better than to bother Katsuki.
Kirishima grinned as they sat down, looking stupidly chipper. He faced the bartender, a stupid beta with purple hair who looked like he hadn’t slept in years. “Two beers, please!”
The beta sighed. “Whatever.”
As the beers were placed in front of them, Katsuki looked around the crowded building again. It was a mix of pheromones and alcohol, along with the faint scent of pot. Whoever was playing tonight obviously either had a bunch of fans or just had an attractive member.
Honestly? Katsuki didn’t give a single fuck.
Kirishima smiled widely at him, drinking his beer. “I’m really excited! Denki said that the band here is insane. The lead’s an omega!”
Oh.
That’s why it’s crowded.
Katsuki huffed, taking a sip of his own beer. “They’re probably shit. Most local bands are, Shitty Hair.”
“Actually-”
Before Kirishima could say anything, the bartender scoffed loudly and shot glares in Katsuki’s direction. The punk looked like a mix between pissed off and annoyed, most likely by the blond’s offensive words.
Katsuki scowled. “Got a problem, asshole?”
The bartender rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I do. I fucking hate spoiled little rockstars who are so full of themselves that they tear down other people.”
“HAH?!”
Kirishima blanched, rapidly glancing between them. “He didn’t mean that, bro. He probably cares a lot about the band-”
Katsuki snarled, slamming his beer down and pointing at the beta. “I’m just stating facts, Eye Bags. Most local bands are composed of nobodies with zero experience in show business. If they were good, they wouldn’t be local.”
“They choose to stay local. There’s a fucking difference.”
The blond alpha grit his teeth. “I bet the crowds only here for the omega. A pretty face is half the game.”
Kirishima elbowed Katsuki’s side. “Dude.”
The bartender scowled, his glare darkening. “He’s much more talented than you, Bakugou. He just has enough sense to stay the fuck out of the spotlight.”
The beta must be a fan, but one word caught Katsuki’s attention.
He?
A male omega?
Katsuki’s interest piqued, but he hid it well, Kirishima, however, noticed his slight change of demeanor. “I suggest you shut the fuck up, Eye Bags. I don’t care that you’re a fan; I’ll knock your fucking lights out.”
“I’m not a fan, Bakugou. I quite prefer functioning eardrums.”
The fuck does that mean?
Katsuki felt his eye twitch slightly.
The bartender rolled his eyes, finally turning towards Kirishima with a nicer scowl. “You should probably keep your dog on a leash. I’d love to kick him out, but Izuku would never forgive me.”
“HAH? Who the FUCK are you calling a dog?!?!”
Kirishima, the fucking traitor, laughed and ignored Katsuki’s outburst. “We have one, actually! Mina bought it as a joke, but we usually use it on Denki.”
The bartender nodded, his mouth twitching slightly. “The rest of your band, right? Izuku never shuts up about your music and shit, but he talks more about the members than anything else. I’d call it cute if it wasn’t annoying.”
“Yeah! He and the others were here last night!”
Katsuki scowled and kept his mouth shut, taking sulking sips of his beer as they talked. Fucking assholes.
“So...Izuku? Is that your boyfriend?”
The bartender froze before his face twisted into an expression of disgust at Kirishima’s words. “God, no. Our dads worked in the business together, so we’re like cousins.”
Kirishima’s eyes widened. “My bad, bro.”
Katsuki, however, shot the bartender a suspicious glare. “The business? Is that your way of saying you fuck with the yakuza?”
“Kats, you can’t just-”
The bartender interjected, his gaze cool as he stared at Katsuki head-on. “Show-business. My dads toured with All Might, so Izuku and I got put together a lot.”
That stopped Katsuki in his tracks.
All Might was legendary in the business. He was the equivalent of David Bowie except nobody actually knew his real identity. Hell, he’d been his idol growing up. His music was exceptionally mind-blowing for anybody who listened to it.
“What the fuck?! You’ve met All Might?!”
The beta nodded, his lips twitching almost as if he was fighting the urge to grin.
Smug bastard.
Katsuki swallowed his pride, his own curiosity winning over anything else. “Do you know why the fuck he retired, then? He dropped out at the height of his career.”
The purple-haired beta stilled, narrowing his eyes at Katsuki. His muted pheromones switched from indifferent and to guarded and cautious. It was clear that the subject was touchy for whatever reason.
“He wanted to focus on his family.”
Katsuki’s eyebrows furrowed. “Family? I didn’t think he had a mate.”
The beta pursed his lips. “He did a few months before he retired. He has an adopted son too. He wanted to have that family experience.”
He has a son?
What the fuck?
Katsuki’s head swam as all this new information is processed through his brain.
Before Katsuki could say anything else, the bartender sighed and leaned closer. “Look. I can’t go spilling Uncle’s business like this. You’re gonna have to ask his son for more information. Lord knows he’d shit his pants.”
“Who the fuck is his son?!”
The beta’s eyes flickered towards the stage. “Izuku. You can probably catch him after the performance. He likes to socialize before he heads home.”
Kirishima gasped loudly. “Wait a second! You’re talking about Midoriya Izuku, right? He’s Todoroki’s ex!”
What the fuck?
The bartender looked at Kirishima, his face twisting in disgust. “Don’t mention that asshole. That’s a quick way to get kicked out by Izuku.”
After a few seconds, Katsuki’s mind seemed to snap out of his daze.
The blond alpha took another drink of his beer, hiding his growing excitement. “I didn’t know that the Icy-Hot bastard dated dudes. I never fucking liked that asshole.”
Kirishima winced at Katsuki’s tone.
The bartender, however, shot a less intense glare in Katsuki’s direction. “He cheated on Izuku while on tour. He’d also been stealing his music and shit.”
Katsuki isn’t surprised.
Todoroki Shouto was the son of a well-known music producer. He’d been groomed to be the next hit sensation, sticking mostly to bubblegum pop and the rare alternative melody. His lyrics were good, but he lacks the passion that’s usually needed in the business.
“That’s fucked up.”
The bartender’s mouth twitched. “No shit. Since their split, Izuku wrote a whole fucking album on dissing the motherfucker.”
Katsuki’s mouth twisted into a smug grin. “That’s fucking golden.”
Kirishima (who looked slightly scared by the friendly interaction) laughed uncomfortably and took a drink of his beer. “I wonder why he’s sticking to local shows? I’m sure his dad could help him go mainstream.”
That’s a good fucking point, actually.
The bartender pursed his lips. “He doesn’t want his dad’s help. He hates the media, so he sticks to local shows.”
Katsuki’s mouth twitched. “I can’t blame him. The media sucks ass.”
Kirishima muffled a snicker.
Before the bartender could say anything else or even agree, the lights dimmed and faded to a purple color. Excited murmurs spread throughout the crowd as they swarmed the stage, where a few people could be seen next to instruments.
“Shit.” The bartender cursed, taking off his apron.
Kirishima’s eyebrows furrowed at the word. “What’s wrong?”
The bartender huffed, ducking under the bar and moving past them. “Izuku’s my cousin. I always watch his shows. You guys coming?”
Katsuki’s heart raced in his chest.
Kirishima answered for him, nearly jumping out of his seat. “Of course! C’mon, Bakubro! I wanna hear them diss Todoroki.”
I guess that wouldn’t be too bad…
“This better be fucking good, Shitty Hair.”
Katsuki slammed his beer down on the counter and followed the pair of idiots, shooting glares at other patrons as they weaved through the crowd. The pheromones in the air thickened and damn-near suffocated the alpha, almost too overwhelming to think straight.
The stage was decorated with a mix of purples and blacks with hints of green scattered throughout. A nice set of drums was on an elevated stand in the back with a wicked logo on the front. A black bass guitar was on the left and a purple electric on the right.
The logo on the drum set read: SOUR
In the front, next to a black mic stand, was a green electric guitar with numerous band logos glued to the front. Katsuki smirked when he saw his own logo among them.
At least he has good taste.
The bartender stopped near the front, not even flinching as Kirishima dragged Kartsuki next to him. “Hey! Zuku!”
It was then that Katsuki saw a head of curly hair pop up from behind the drums. The small omega had a cord between his teeth and even more in his hands, no doubt from setting up the equipment.
Oh, fuck me.
The small omega had wild green curls with a nice undercut beneath. Heart-shaped gages hung in his ears and looked nice with the cartilage piercings he had. A lip ring rested on his bottom lip, making it look even more attractive than before.
Katsuki swallowed thickly.
“Hold on, Toshi. Touya needs me to set up the drums!”
His voice was soft and bright yet lower than most omegas. It made Katsuki’s heart race even more, which wasn’t too great for the alpha.
The bartender shrugged. “Take your time. I just have some people I want you to meet.”
The omega disappeared behind the drums again, completely out of sight as he finished hooking everything up. Kirishima was grinning knowingly at Katsuki with a mischievous glint in his red eyes.
Katsuki shot him a glare. “What the fuck are you looking at?”
“Nothing, bro. Nothing at all.”
Bullshit.
The bartender didn’t notice the interaction, simply facing them after a few moments and offering his hand. “I forgot. My name's Shinsou Hitoshi. My dads’ run the bar.”
“Kirishima Eijiro.” Kirishima chirped.
Katsuki huffed, scowling as he ignored Shinsou’s hand. “Bakugou Katsuki. But you knew that already.”
Shinsou’s mouth twitched. “You’re right. Izuku will be excited that half of his favorite band is watching him perform tonight. He was sad when your show last night sold out before he could get tickets.”
His favorite, huh?
The blond hid his smug pride with a small scowl. “Of course we’re his favorite. We’re the best of the best, Eye Bags.”
Kirishima sighed, almost like he was embarrassed by Katsuki.
Shinsou smirked. “I’m sure Izuku agrees.”
Before Katsuki or Kirishima could respond, the small omega popped up from behind the drums again. This time, however, they had a full view of his ensemble. And goddamn, it made Katsuki’s skin flush.
Skin-tight black jeans clung to his legs with large holes ripped in the front. Fishnets peeked out from under them, nearly bursting from how thick his thighs were. A black Metallica tank top clung to his torso, accenting scarred biceps and a small waist.
His skin was littered with freckles and scars alike, but he damn near sparkled under the lights. A thick leather collar was wrapped around his throat that matched his boots, which shouldn’t have been hot.
Fuck.
He’s hot.
The small omega approached them, simply muttering to himself as he checked some of the other equipment. “Does everything look right, Toshi? Touya and Ochako couldn’t be here to help-”
He stopped, his green eyes meeting Katsuki’s.
“Oh my god.”
The small omega lit up like a set of stage lights and bounced towards the front of the stage. His curls moved with him, which should NOT have made Katsuki’s heart flutter.
Shinsou chuckled, moving closer to the stage. “They were drinking at the bar, Zuku. I figured that you’d like to say hi.”
The small omega flushed, grinning widely at Katsuki and Kirishima. He looked at the red-haired idiot first, eagerly offering his hand. “I-I’m Midoriya Izuku! I can’t believe you guys are here! It’s an honor!”
Kirishima chuckled, shaking his hand. “It’s nice to meet ya! I can’t wait to watch you perform, Midoriya.”
Midoriya blushed. “Th-thanks. I hope you like it!”
“I’m sure we will.”
The small omega finally looked at Katsuki, becoming noticeably more fidgety than before. That alone made the alpha smug. “M-Midoriya Izuku. I’m a really big fan, sir. Your lyrics are truly amazing and work nicely with the melody! Is it true-”
Katsuki grinned, shaking the omega’s soft hand. “You’re muttering, nerd. But’s it’s an absolute pleasure to meet you.”
Kirishima muffled a snort.
Midoriya flushed a darker pink. “Sorry. I tend to mutter when I’m excited. I-I hope you enjoy the show, sir.”
Sir, huh?
I want to ruin him.
“I will,” Katsuki said smoothly, smirking.
Before Midoriya could say anything else, a few more people walked on stage. A small female omega with a more pastel look tied up her brown hair before picking up the electric guitar. Another girl, a beta who had more of a goth aesthetic, grabbed the bass.
Finally, a tall alpha with blue eyes and piercings climbed behind the drums. He looked intimidating, to say the least, but Katsuki knew that asshole from anywhere. This is the same prick who crashed Ashido’s birthday party last year with his little gang of losers.
Todoroki Touya.
Why the fuck is Izuku fucking around with his ex’s brother?
Before Katsuki could question anything, the small omega released his hand and stood on his feet. “We should get started. We can talk more after the show if you want.”
Katsuki smirked widely. “Oh, I do. Good luck, nerd.”
Midoriya grinned widely, turning to walk towards his fellow band-mates. It gave Katsuki a good view of his backside, making the alpha’s mouth damn-near water.
Kirishima chuckled, elbowing Katsuki’s side. “You look a bit lovesick, bro. You good?”
Shinsou laughed too, earning a glare from the blond alpha. “Izuku has that effect on every alpha he meets. I wouldn’t get your hopes up too high, Blondie. He’s a brat.”
I can handle brats.
Katsuki scowled, shooting a low snarl in the beta’s direction. “I ain’t effected, fuckhead. Don’t go assuming shit.”
“Sure, Blondie. Whatever you say.”
Before Katsuki respond, the lights dimmed again.
Midoriya stood behind the mic stand, looking especially pretty as he smiled at the crowd. His previous anxiety had obviously disappeared, replaced by confidence that shouldn’t have been hot to Katsuki.
The crowd erupted his hollers and whistles.
The small omega hummed into the mic, winking. “Welcome back, babes. It’s pleasure to play in front of you guys again!”
Katsuki’s inner alpha growled.
It made the blond alpha freeze, surprised by his own reaction. Katsuki has no right to feel possessive of Izuku, so why the fuck does his inner alpha feel so restless?
“What should we start with, Ochako?”
The pastel omega grinned, leaning into her own mic. “Probably something energetic. Let’s open with ‘good 4 u’!”
Midoriya nodded, his eyes flickering to Katsuki’s.
Fuck, he’s hot.
The green-haired omega glanced at the bass player, smirking in her direction. “Ready, Kyouka? I hope you remember this one.”
Kyouka huffed. “Of course I do.”
The goth beta started plucking at her bass, the sound thudding throughout the building and making the crowd holler. Katsuki grinned and Kirishima (who played bass himself) fucking cheered.
The girls leaned into their mics. “Haaa.”
Midoriya gripped his mic, leaning into the stand. “Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily. You found a new girl, and it only took a couple weeks. Remember when you said that you wanted to give me the world?”
His voice was smooth and seductive, sweet like honey.
Katsuki’s heart thudded in his chest like a bass drum, his skin heating as the omega’s voice rang in his ears like a song he couldn’t quite forget.
The girls sang in their mics again. “Ah-ah-ah-ah.”
The green-eyed omega moved with the song, raw passion, and bitterness hanging in his voice. “And good for you, I guess that you've been working on yourself. I guess that therapist I found for you, she really helped.”
“Now you can be a better man for your brand new girl…”
Midoriya’s eyes snapped to Katsuki as he shot him a wink.
What the fuck-
The tempo and melody of the song immediately changed as the other male omega banged on the drum set. The girls reacted to, followed by Midoria who’s hands snapped to the green guitar slung over his shoulder.
The small omega damn-near screamed into the mic. “Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy. Not me, if you ever cared to ask! Good for you, you're doing great out there without me, baby! God, I wish that I could do that!”
Katsuki found himself cheering with Kirishima, who was going absolutely fucking nuts next to them. Even Shinsou, who must’ve heard this a million times and usually looked bored, appeared to be just as excited.
Kirishima slung an arm around Katsuki’s shoulders. “They’re really fucking good! This is mind-blowing, bro!”
“No shit, Shitty Hair!” Katsuki responded, not even shoving the arm away.
He's fucking amazing.
Midoriya’s fingers moved quickly across the guitar, making his biceps flex under the purple light. “I've lost my mind, I've spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom! But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it!”
His eyes met Katsuki’s again.
“But I guess good for you.”
Katsuki shivered as the bass took over again and Midoriya’s voice fell into that familiar seductive lilt. Throughout everything, his voice still sounds heavenly and intense, making the alpha’s own hormones react.
The small omega grabbed the microphone off the stand and moved next to Ochako, where they stood incredibly close. “Well good for you, I guess you’re getting everything you want. You bought a new car and your career is really taking off.”
Ochako sang back-up easily, harmonizing beautifully.
Midoriya grinned, damn near jumping back towards his own mic stand. “It’s like we never even happened! Baby, what the fuck is up with that?!”
Hearing the omega curse made Katsuki’s skin flush.
The small omega moved closer to the front of the stage, standing close to Katsuki before interacting with some of the other patrons. The crowd swarmed towards the front, making the blond alpha snarl as Kirishima and Shinsou snickered at him.
Midoriya’s sweaty skin glistened in the light. “And good for you, it’s like you never even met me. Remember when you swore to God that I was the only person who ever got you?”
His voice shifted to a much more bitter tone.
“Well, screw that and screw you! You will never have to hurt the way you know that I do!”
The drums banged again as Midoriya shot back, strumming the guitar again like a seasoned pro. He jumped around wildly after placing the mic back on the stand, his green eyes gleaming in the lights.
Midoriya’s demeanor became something else entirely on that stage. “Well, good for you! You look happy and healthy! Not me! If you ever cared to ask! Good for you, you’re doing great out there without me, baby!”
His eyes flashed. “God I wish that I could do that! I’ve lost my mind! I’ve spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom! You’re so unaffected, I really down get it, but I guess, good for you!”
Katsuki swallowed thickly.
What the fuck did Todoroki do? Katsuki thought briefly, trying to remember the last time he even interacted with the fucker. If he DID cheat, why the fuck would he cheat on someone like Midoriya?
The small omega seemed perfect and talented. Midoriya is beautiful to a fault with a personality to match. If his lyrics were anything to go by, Katsuki could see the amount of passion the omega had for music.
Eye Bags did say that the bastard stole his music…
“Maybe I’m too emotional…” The omega crooned, the words obviously bitter. “But your apathy is like a wound in salt.”
Katsuki clenched his jaw.
Midoriya glanced at him again, before looking away with flushed cheeks. “Maybe I’m too emotional or maybe you never cared at all.”
The drums picked up speed.
“Maybe I’m too emotional…” The omega feigned a whine, making the alphas in the crowd go berserk. “But your apathy is like a wound in salt.”
The green-eyed omega kept his voice reduced to a purr, the sound affectionately blanketing the atmosphere of the entire room. “Maybe I’m too emotional or maybe you never care at all!”
Midoriya fell silent, out of breath as the girls started the chorus.
Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy
Not me, if you ever cared to ask
Good for you, you're doing great out there without me, baby
The small omega finally joined in, nearly screaming into the mic as the drums banged throughout the small bar. “Like a damn SOCIOPATH! I’ve lost my mind! I’ve spent the night crying on the floor in my bathroom!”
His voice cracked slightly as an unfamiliar emotion flashed behind his eyes.
“You’re so unaffected, I really don’t get it,” Midoriya crooned, his voice hushed. “But I guess good for you.”
The bass thudded again as Midoriya gripped the mic.
The small omega locked his eyes with Katsuki again, dark and confident enough to make the alpha shiver. “Well, good for you, I guess you moved on really easily.”
I’m fucked.
I Z U K U
He’s even hotter in person.
Izuku was out of breath as he gripped the mic, panting lightly as he glanced around the room. Bakugou’s intense gaze felt hot on his skin, matching his alpha pheromones that smelled heavily of campfire smoke and caramel.
The small omega smiled warmly, running his fingers through his sweaty curls. “Let’s slow it down a bit, okay? That one takes a bit out of me.”
After he adjusted his mic stand, Izuku walked back towards the drum set where his All Might water bottle was sitting. Touya was drinking from his own water bottle, but he shot a grin in the omega's direction.
Izuku faced the crowd, a bright smile tugged at his lips. “So I’ve been working on a new song! I just finished it a few days ago, so we’ll play that next!”
I hope they like it.
Izuku looked at Touya, who released a heavy sigh and stood up from behind his drums. A few stray omegas in the crowd screamed, making the alpha roll his eyes.
Then he looked at the girls, who nodded and put their instruments away before climbing on top of chairs they’d brought from backstage.
The small omega hummed, taking a seat and facing the crowd. “Touya wrote this with me, guys! He’s been practicing guitar and he’s really good!”
Touya’s mouth twitched as he sat next to Izuku. “Shut it, idiot. I’d like to get behind my drums soon, so hurry up.”
“So mean, Touya.”
The alpha smirked. “That’s my job.”
The crowd cheered, making Izuku’s heart soar.
Izuku took a small breath, facing the crowd as his heart raced in his ears. “This one is called ‘favorite crime’. I’ve been watching a lot of documentaries, so I guess you could say it’s influenced this one a bit.”
Ochako choked back a laugh, earning a pout from Izuku. “Don’t make it sound cute, Izu. You called me at 3 am last night and talked for an hour about blood spatter and DNA.”
“It’s interesting!”
“It’s gross.”
Touya, who was watching the interaction with an amused smile, laughed. “This is why I set boundaries, Uraraka. If I don’t, he’ll keep up till 3 am watching those documentaries.”
Ochako rolled her eyes. “You’re his roommate, so that doesn’t count.”
Izuku felt his skin flush as they started to bicker, turning to face the crowd (who was watching in clear amusement) before clearing his throat. “Anyways, this is ‘favorite crime’. I hope you like it!”
Here goes nothing.
Touya gripped his new acoustic started strumming the all-too-familiar melody, quieting the crowd as they started to listen. Izuku glanced at Toshi, who gave him a rare smile. Bakugou kept staring at him, a weird glint in his eyes that made Izuku’s heart flutter.
Carefully, Izuku sang into the mic.
Know that I loved you so bad
I let you treat me like that
I was your willing accomplice, honey
And I watched as you fled the scene
Doe-eyed as you buried me
One heart broke, four hands bloody
Izuku’s voice wavered as memories flashed behind his eyelids. Raw emotion welled up in his chest like a geyser ready to blow, threatening to spill over as tears.
The things I did
Just so I could call you mine
The things you did
Well, I hope I was your favorite crime
You used me as an alibi
I crossed my heart as you crossed the line
And I defended you to all my friends
Shouto had been his entire world.
Izuku did everything to keep the alpha entertained and in love with him. He gave him his music, his heart, and even changed his own personality to fit his. He waited around during tours, faithfully waiting for his return.
The emotional cheating shouldn’t have been a surprise.
And now, every time a siren sounds
I wonder if you're around
'Cause you know that I'd do it all again
Ochako and Kyouka joined, their voices increasing the volume and intensity
All the things I did
Just so I could call you mine
The things you did
Well, I hope I was your favorite crime
It’s bittersweet to think about the damage that we do
'Cause I was going down, but I was doing it with you
Yeah, everything we broke, and all the trouble that we made
But I say that I hate you with a smile on my face
Izuku’s voice cracked as a tear fell down his cheek. He wore waterproof eyeliner for this reason, but it didn’t stop him from feeling like an idiot.
Oh, look what we became
All the things I did
Just so I could call you mine
All the things you did
Well, I hope I was your favorite crime
Your favorite crime
Your favorite crime
'Cause baby, you were mine
The song ended, earning loud applause and cheering. The sound made Izuku smile through the pain. The praise felt good and comforting, especially since the crowd consisted mostly of old friends from high school.
There were perks to living in a relatively small city.
Izuku took a shaky breath, stepping down from the stool. “We’re going to take a small break for other performers. I’ll see you in a few!”
He couldn’t rush offstage fast enough.
The small omega bolted straight for the alcove, bursting into tears as his emotions hit him all at once. Ochako immediately followed and pulled him to her chest, her scent comforting as he breathed in the warm vanilla cupcake smell.
Ochako hummed, petting his curls. “You’re okay, Zuku. You did amazing.”
Izuku grasped Ochako’s clothes, sniffling quietly. “I hate him so much, Ocha. I hate him so much that it hurts.”
The vanilla-scented omega sighed, affectionately scenting her best friend. “I know you do. But fuck that guy, Zuku. You’re wasting your tears on an asshole of an alpha.”
She’s right.
As always.
Ochako continued to comfort Izuku, purring quietly to soothe her fellow omega. They sat in silence for a while, breathing each other’s scents as the faint sound of other performances rang through the air.
Then she spoke.
“Was that really members of Ground Zero out there?”
Izuku’s skin flushed. “Maybe.”
Ochako gasped, pulling back to look at Izuku. “That’s so fucking cool! We’ve been fans of their music forever! Have you talked them yet?”
“Toshi introduced us.”
His best friend squealed, making Izuku wince at the high-pitched sound. “Is that why Bakugou fucking Katsuki was looking at you like he wanted to eat you? I could feel the sexual tension for miles, Zuku!”
Izuku flushed bright red. “He was not. You’re over-exaggerating.”
Ochako ignored him, her brown eyes lighting up with mischief. “I bet he’s a good fuck, too. Drummers always have the best stamina, as I’m sure you know.”
“Oh my god, Ochako. Stop!” Izuku squeaked, his face suddenly hot.
Izuku has been thirsting after Bakugou Katsuki since their freshmen year of high school. Ground Zero had just released their first studio album and was topping the charts. The members were only a few years older than he was, so it made them more attractive.
That’s when Izuku learned he had a thing for drummers.
Bakugou was a large and intimidating alpha, radiating sex and dominance that made Izuku’s skin flush. To most, he seemed like a raging asshole with anger issues. However, Izuku was part of the small percentage of fans that believed he was just socially awkward.
Izuku was heartbroken when their concert in his city sold out so fast. Yet he hadn’t expected to see any of them at his job.
And they watched him PERFORM!!
Ochako grinned at Izuku’s embarrassment, poking his cheeks. “You should go say hi! I’m sure he’d love to buy you a drink, Zuku.”
Izuku’s face felt hot. “You’re embarrassing.
“I am-”
“Hey! Zuku!”
Izuku glanced behind him, his heart dropping to the deepest pits of his stomach as he saw Toshi leading two familiar men backstage. “Oh no. Toshi? What are you doing back here?!”
Hitoshi stopped in front of them, looking incredibly short compared to the alphas behind him. Bakugou’s eyes were on Izuku, a dark shade of tempting ruby. “You looked like you were crying. Plus Blondie here wanted-”
“Shut the fuck up, Eye Bags.”
“Bakubro, maybe you should-”
The alpha best friends started to bicker ignoring the amused expressions on everyone’s faces. Izuku found himself smiling at the interaction, almost starstruck that he was seeing the famous banter in person.
Hitoshi, however, looked annoyed as he leaned in close to Izuku. “Blondie wanted to check on you. He almost fought dad to get back here.”
Ochako smirked next to Izuku. “He did?”
Izuku sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Before either of his best friends could tease him anymore, he focused on the bickering alphas in front of him. Bakugou’s eyes flickered to his, making the alpha stop mid-sentence.
“I’m fine. You guys don’t need to pretend to worry.”
Bakugou blinked as a scowl twisted on his face. “Pretend? I don’t pretend to do shit, freckles. You looked like you were about to have a fucking panic attack.”
Freckles?
Something about this scene feels so familiar.
Even though Izuku had grown up with Shouto and his many siblings, his ex always acted like he knew everything about him. He always feigned worry and was possessive, trying his hardest to get close to Izuku for all the wrong reasons.
Izuku flushed pink, chewing on his lip ring. “Then why are you back here? If you’re trying to score a one-night stand, I don’t do things like that. And if you’re trying to meet my dad, you can leave now.”
Believe it or not, Izuku’s been used to get to his dad before.
By Shouto, specifically.
Bakugou's scowl deepened but his eyes softened. “I-”
“Forget it.” Izuku snapped, his temper flaring as he shoved past the alpha.
Thinking about his ex always seemed to sour Izuku’s mood. He had met Shouto almost the same way he’s met Bakugou and Kirishima. He had been a teen and was helping out around the bar during the day to make money.
His dad had a meeting with another music producer who brought his son, Shouto, trying to get Toshinori to mentor him. His dad said he wasn’t interested because he wanted to focus on his family. After that, Shouto kept showing up in odd places.
Looking back on it, the small omega knows that he should’ve picked up on why the pop star was so invested in his dad.
Izuku darted between employees and made his way towards the room Uncle Shota had set up for his privacy. Hot tears welled up in his eyes, threatening to spill over as he became overwhelmed by his emotions.
Stupid emotions.
Stupid alphas.
Stupid-
“Not so fast, nerd.”
Izuku felt a warm hand wrap around his wrist and yank him backward. The small omega squeaked, damn-near tripping over his own shoes as the smell of campfire washed over his sense like a warm blanket.
Bakugou spun him around to face him, his eyes hard by not angry.
The small omega turned bright red under the alpha’s gaze. “You can’t just grab people like that! I’ll punch you if you ever do something like that again-”
“Go on a date with me.”
Izuku froze.
What did he just say?
With his heart in his throat, Izuku slowly met Bakugou’s intense gaze. “Y-you’re joking, right? Di-did someone put you up to this?”
Bakugou’s eyes didn’t waver, but that familiar scowl softened. “Of fucking course not. I don’t say shit I don’t mean and I don’t ask just any extra on a date.”
“Why me?”
The alpha huffed, a low rumbled of a snarl radiating from his throat as he towered over Izuku. It made the small omega shiver. “Why the fuck not? You’re beautiful and talented, so I’d be an idiot if I didn’t try.”
Beautiful?
Izuku became extremely flustered, his skin turning from red to pink. “I’m average, at best. I’m not as exciting as you might think, you know.”
Bakugou’s jaw clenched. “Did that Icy-Hot bastard tell you that?”
The small omega froze, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to figure out who the alpha was referring to. Then it hit him like a freight train. “I can’t believe Toshi told you about Shouto. It’s none of his fucking business, and definitely not yours.”
Fucking traitor.
Izuku’s chest started to ache as tears welled up in his eyes. “And Shouto didn’t need to, Bakugou. I was never good enough for him.”
“Maybe that bastard wasn’t good enough for you, nerd.”
The small omega stilled, Bakugou’s words repeating in his head like a mantra. “And you are? You sound awfully confident.”
Bakugou smirked, making Izuku’s heart thud in his chest as the alpha’s pheromones increased. He definitely smelled of confidence and arrogance, which shouldn’t have been attractive to begin with.
“I think you deserve the best. I just happen to be the best.”
Izuku’s heart fluttered in his chest as they stared at each other.
He’s serious.
With a flustered sigh, Izuku chewed on his lip ring and turned around to open his room. Bakugou hummed in confusion, his heated gaze feeling scalding on the omega’s back. Quickly, Izuku grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, his skin still flushed a soft pink.
Izuku scribbled his name and number on the paper in a green glitter pen before walking back towards the suspicious alpha.
“Here’s my number. Don’t make me regret this.”
Bakugou accepted the slip of paper with an eager grin. His eyes scanned the writing before he raised an eyebrow at Izuku. “You wrote Deku instead of Izuku.”
Izuku felt embarrassment heat his cheeks. “I-I did?”
“Don’t worry. It’s cute.”
The small omega huffed, growing more flustered by the second as the alpha winked at him. It was turning his brain to mush. “I have messy handwriting. There’s nothing cute about that, Bakugou.”
Bakugou shrugged, pocketing the paper. “I disagree, Deku. I think it’s fucking adorable, you little shit.”
“So that’s a thing now?”
The alpha laughed quietly, making Izuku’s stomach fill with butterflies. His ruby eyes held the omega’s gaze, bordering on soft. “I think it is, Deku. It fits a cute nerd like yourself.”
Izuku felt like he was dying from embarrassment.
The small omega pulled at his lip ring again, his thoughts threatening to leave his tongue and drift in the air between them. Bakugou looked amused, which was a nice change from his usual scowling.
Before Izuku can say anything, Ochako’s voice rings out.
“We’re back on, Zuku!”
Bakugou shot Ochako a glare and a low snarl, obviously annoyed by the interruption. It was cute in a way, even though Izuku would never say that out loud.
Izuku gave the alpha a smile before leaving. “Don’t forget to call me, Kacchan. I’d hate to be let down by another alpha. I hope you’re prepared to prove yourself.”
The alpha turned bright red as Izuku bolted.
“Who the fuck is Kacchan, you little shit?!”
*****
{0.2} brutal
“A truth is what it is. A lie, a thought out deception more brutal than a truth could ever be.”
― Charlotte Armstrong
I Z U K U
“One, two, three, go!”
Izuku plucked his guitar strings at a steady pace, the sound echoing in his ears as the recording booth picked up the heavy notes. Ochako followed, sticking to the same beat as her own headphones rested on her ears.
Then he stopped, letting Ochako take over the accompaniment.
The small omga leaned into the recording mic, allowing his attitude to drip from his sickly-sweet voice like thick molasses.
I'm so insecure, I think
That I'll die before I drink
And I'm so caught up in the news
Of who likes me and who hates you
His dad was on the other side of the glass, listening carefully as Izuku spat out the words. Hitoshi stood next to him, carefully adjusting the sound volume.
Izuku continued the song he’d performed more times than he could count as Touya’s dpre-recorded drum sequence beat in the in background. He wanted the recording to be heavy and bitter, mirroring exactly how he felt.
And I'm so tired that I might
Quit my job, start a new life
And they'd all be so disappointed
'Cause who am I if not exploited?
Kyouka joined the guitar riff, plucking at her bass strings like a pro as she focused on the music in her ears. Izuku always loved her dedication and passion, especially since it spread into all of her music. Hell, she helped write most of the song.
And I'm so sick of seventeen
Where's my fucking teenage dream?
If someone tells me one more time
"Enjoy your youth," I'm gonna cry
And I don't stick up for myself
I'm anxious, and nothing can help
And I wish I'd done this before
And I wish people liked me more
Izuku found himself lost in the music again.
All I did was try my best
This the kinda thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset
The girls harmonized behind him.
They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here
The music stopped abruptly, signaling that they were done with the portion of the recording they needed. Izuku felt his body relax before he slipped off his headphones, seeing his hair stick up in his reflection.
Toshinori gave him a thumbs up, speaking into the outside mic. “Excellent work! That was a really good take. Let’s take five.”
Izuku nodded, removing his guitar carefully before exiting the booth.
The girls followed behind, their chatter barely registering in his ears. Since they were just in the studio today, Izuku was dressed in his usual black sweats and a GROUND ZERO t-shirt, his green curls barely held back by the hair clips Ochako gave him.
He felt exhausted, to put it lightly.
My head hurts.
Izuku collapsed on the comfortable couch, leaning his head back and closing his eyes as he willed his migraine to disappear.
“Izuku? What’s wrong, my boy?”
Toshinori sat down next to him, his comforting fatherly scent of sandalwood washing over Izuku like a warm blanket. The small omega opened his eyes, glancing over at his father with a small smile.
Izuku hummed, his skin flushed. “Just tired. The show last night was really intense, dad. I might’ve gotten a bit carried away.”
“A good turn out, then?”
Hitoshi snorted, earning a glare from Izuku.
Toshinori glanced at Hitoshi with a confused expression on his face. “What? Did I say something funny, young Hitoshi?”
Izuku paled.
Don’t you dare, Toshi.
The purple-haired beta ignored Izuku’s silent threats, his eyes gleaming mischievously as he started to speak. “You know GROUND ZERO, right? That band Zuku loved so much in high school?”
“You traitor.” Izuku huffed, glaring at his cousin.
Toshinori looked much less confused but still lost. “Yes. Their music is quite extraordinary, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
Hitoshi had an evil grin on his face. “They were at the bar last night.”
“Really? Did they enjoy the show?”
Kill me now, please.
I hate you, Toshi.
The purple-haired beta snickered. “I think they enjoyed it a little too much, Uncle. The drummer asked our little Zuku on a date!”
Izuku bolted upright, his skin bright red. “Toshi!”
“What? He was totally whipped!”
“He was just being nice!”
“You gave him your number!”
Toshinori cleared his throat awkwardly, interrupting before either boy could tackle the other. He didn’t look bothered by the news, but he was slightly amused by the bickering. “That would explain why you overworked yourself last night, my boy.”
Izuku huffed, his skin still pink.
Ochako and Kyouka were watching from the other couch, obviously entertained by the conversation. The goth beta was silent sipping her drink with a metal straw, eyes transfixed on the spectacle.
The pastel omega, however, was eating a pink treat.
“Has he called you, Zuku?”
Izuku looked at Ochako, whose voice was smooth and teasing. “He hasn’t. I wouldn’t be surprised if he threw my number away, Ochako.”
Ochako shared a glance with Hitoshi before rolling her eyes. “Didn’t he nearly fight Aizawa to see you backstage? He seems too stubborn to give up that easy.”
This caught Toshinori’s attention.
“He tried to fight Shota?”
Can we stop bringing my dad into my non-existent love life?
Hitoshi answered this time, still grinning wickedly. “It was hilarious. As soon as Zuku walked offstage, Bakugou went all macho alpha and tried to rush the security guards. And when dad showed up, he just yelled in his face to be let in.”
Kyouka let out a burst of laughter. “Was it like that one meme?”
“The Eric Andre one?”
“Yes!”
Izuku placed his head in his hands as his friends absolutely lost their shit. Thankfully, Toshinori was lost on the reference but was equally amused by the visual.
Ochako kept snorting uncontrollably, her face bright red as she leaned against Kyouka for support. “Someone needs to make that meme, I swear. Then we can have Zuku send it to Bakugou as-”
Before she could finish, Izuku’s ringtone started to play loudly.
Izuku stilled.
Fuck.
“Is it loverboy?!”
“I told you he’d call!”
Izuku sighed and stood up from the couch. Toshinori offered an awkward smile before standing as well, inching closer to the door. “I’ll leave you kids alone. I’m sure Inko has lunch prepared anyway.”
The phone continued to ring from Izuku’s bag, making the small omega frown.
With a nervous sigh and a racing heart, Izuku pulled his phone from his bag and read the unknown number. This entire experience felt familiar and vaguely nostalgic, almost as if it was the same scene but a different time.
Izuku accepted the call, feeling eyes on his back. “Hello?”
“Finally. I thought you wouldn’t fucking answer, Deku.”
He called.
The small omega felt his skin flush as his stomach flipped at the name. “I...I didn’t...I didn’t think that you’d actually call, Kacchan.”
A small huff was heard on the other end and Izuku could see the annoyed scowl on Katsuki’s lips. Hell, he could feel the annoyance. “Why the fuck would I ask you on a date if I didn’t intend to call, nerd? You’re such an idiot.”
Izuku’s mouth twitched into a pout. “Meanie.”
“Are you pouting right now?”
The small omega flushed a brighter red at Katsuki’s teasing tone, a tiny squeak leaving his lips. Izuku shot a glance at his friends, who were being nosy, and sighed into the receiver. “I’m not pouting. Let me get out of the studio real quick and find somewhere private, Kacchan.”
Katsuki hummed lowly, obviously interested in Izuku’s words. “Studio? Were you in the middle of recording?”
Izuku left the studio room, darting down the hallway towards the bathroom. “Dad misses producing so we let him record our music. It’s nothing serious, but it’s nice to see my dad excited to do something.”
“So Eye Bags wasn’t joking…”
The small omega raised an eyebrow, resting his back against the door. “What did he say? You can’t trust whatever Hitoshi says, Kacchan.”
Katsuki scoffed lowly. “He said you had a whole damn album written.”
Ah.
Izuku anxiously played with his shirt, trying to keep his hands busy. He liked to fidget, especially when he’s nervous, but he also had a nasty habit of biting his nails. “Probably. I’ve been writing since middle school.”
“What the fuck?!”
The small omega felt a soft giggle escape his lips, making the alpha’s breathing hitch. “It’s not a big deal, Kacchan. Most of them are shit anyway. Middle school me had too much angst.”
Katsuki was quiet for a moment before speaking. “How old are you?”
“Why? Scared that you’re robbing the cradle?”
“Shut the fuck up, shitty nerd.”
“Is that a yes?”
Katsuki didn’t answer, obviously scowling.
Izuku giggled again, his skin flushed a pretty pink as the sound echoed around the bathroom. “I turned eighteen a few months ago. You’re only four years older than me, Kacchan.”
“Thank fucking god.”
He was worried.
Cute.
Izuku chewed on his bottom lip, tugging at his lip ring as his heart fluttered in his chest. “What are you doing right now, Kacchan? I think it’s fair since I told you what my exciting plans for the day are.”
Katsuki scoffed again, but Izuku could hear the smile on his lips. “I’m making the idiots clean the tour bus. They got high this morning and tried to build a fucking pillow fort. Soy Sauce fell off his damn bunk and it all came crashing down.”
Sounds entertaining.
“And where were you?”
The alpha responded easily, his voice still low and rough in Izuku’s ear. “Planning a date with a certain nerd.”
Izuku blushed, his face feeling hot.
Katsuki sounded smug, almost as if he knew the omega had been reduced to a flustered mess by his words. His confidence was hot, which didn’t help Izuku’s emotions. “Speaking of which...You never answered me last night, Deku. Go on a date with me tonight?”
How is he so confident?!
Ugh!
“Don’t you have a concert tonight, Kacchan?”
The alpha hummed lowly, making Izuku shiver. “Let me fucking worry about that, shitty Deku. Besides, I remember someone being upset about not getting tickets to a certain concert.”
Izuku froze. “Huh?”
“Do you need your ears checked, nerd?”
The small omega swallowed thickly, his face feeling stupidly hot as butterflies fluttered in his stomach. “You’re giving me tickets to your concert?”
The alpha huffed in response.
Izuku felt a warm chirp sneak past his lips, the sound full of happiness. “I’m so excited! Should I dress warm? It’s supposed to be chilly. I should ask Ochako! I think she has dinner with her parents tonight, though. Maybe I could-”
“Nerd. You’re mumbling again.”
The small omega felt his flush even more. “Sorry, Kacchan.”
Katsuki chuckled quietly, making Izuku’s heart swell. “I just couldn’t understand a single fucking word you said.”
“Oh. I asked if I should dress warmly.”
The alpha scoffed lowly. “It’s supposed to freeze tonight, shitty nerd. If I catch you with the proper clothes, I beat your ass.”
Izuku’s mouth twitched. “Is that a threat or a promise?”
Katsuki went silent.
Wow.
“You little shit. It’s both.”
Izuku squeaked, not even trying to hide his embarrassment.
Katsuki snickered at Izuku’s embarrassment, the sound warm despite the fact he was making fun of the omega. “That’s what you get for talking shit, Deku. Don’t start a game you can’t finish.”
He’s hot.
Ugh.
Izuku pouted slightly, his skin still flushed. “Meanie. What time do I need to be at the venue, then? I don’t want to be late.”
“I don’t half-ass shit. I’m picking you up, obviously.”
The small omega felt like he’d been slapped. “You don’t have to do that! I know how busy you can get while setting up for a concert, and I don’t want you to-”
Katsuki growled sharply, making Izuku stop mid-sentence. “Don’t look down on me, nerd. If I didn’t have time, I wouldn’t have asked you for a date. There’s an abundance of idiots here to help the crew set up.”
And for some reason, the growl made Izuku shiver.
Izuku took a shaky breath, trying to keep his mind clear from all the potential sexual scenarios. “I’m not looking down on you, Kacchan. But dad always had to do vocal warm-ups and sound checks, and I don’t want to mess with that.”
“You’ll be here for soundcheck, actually. So chill.”
Oh.
Izuku felt a shy smile tug at his lips. “What time are you picking me up, Kacchan?”
Katsuki’s voice was exceptionally low as he answered. “Four-thirty.”
“Alright. See you soon?”
“See you soon, nerd.”
Izuku hung up first, fighting the urge to squeal like a teenage girl. Katsuki is even better in person, which is a slight disaster for the omega, but maybe he’ll get a new friend if it doesn’t work out. After all, he’s still friends with Touya.
Katsuki will realize how boring Izuku is, anyway.
Even though I wish he wouldn’t.
After a few seconds of muffled squealing, Izuku finally pocketed his phone and went to open the door to the lush bathroom. As he wrapped his hand around the doorknob and twisted it, the sound of rapid movement made him narrow his eyes.
And when it opened, Izuku got an eyeful of Ochako and Hitoshi trying to flee down the hall. Kyouka watched from the studio doorway, laughing hard enough that her face was red and tears streamed down her face.
I hate my friends.
Izuku sighed as he exited the bathroom and crossed his arms. “Really? Why do you guys feel the need to eavesdrop on my conversation?!”
Ochako faced him, a clearly guilty expression on her face. Hitoshi, however, grinned maniacally with a weird glint in his eyes. It resembled Uncle Shota’s, which was terrifying.
The purple-haired beta sighed, clearly exaggerating, and leaned against the wall. “I wanted to see my handiwork in action, little cousin. I spent hours of my life with Blondie! All with the purpose of scoring you a date!”
“You make him sound insufferable.”
Hitoshi shrugged. “He’s relatively okay. Once you get past the foul mouth and arrogance, he’s pretty fucking hilarious.”
Izuku sighed, feeling his migraine (which had lessened when Kacchan called) come back with a vengeance. He also felt incredibly embarrassed. “You’re lucky I’m in a good mood. We’re going on a date tonight-”
“TONIGHT?!” Ochako screeched, making everyone flinch.
Hitoshi now looked like the human equivalent of the Cheshire Cat. “Damn, he moves fast. He was pining so bad last night that I wasn’t sure if he would follow through.”
Pining?
Ochako, however, was damn-near vibrating with excitement as she fucking hopped towards Izuku. “Are you excited? Where are you going? Is he paying? Do you have clothes? Do you need my help? I can-”
Izuku (gently) slapped his hands over Ochako’s mouth, his face bright red.
The female omega flushed before giving him an apologetic glance. Then she spoke, her words muffled by Izuku’s hands. “Sorry.”
“You’re forgiven. I do need help, though.”
Ochako brightened as Izuku pulled his hands back. “Great! It’s been ages since I’ve raided your closet, Zuku! Not since-”
She stopped.
Izuku felt his heart break the tiniest bit. “Since Shouto. I know.”
“Izuku, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
The green-eyed omega shook his head, trying to hide his emotions as they attacked his brain. “No worries, Ochako. I just want to focus on this date. If I think about Shouto, then I’ll be in too much of a panic to go.”
Ochako nodded, her face clearly determined. “Right! Hey, Kyou?”
Kyouka hummed from the doorway, her eyes glued to her phone as she texted her current love interest. “Yeah?”
“Can we borrow your make-up?”
*****
Chapter 2: need to love myself
Summary:
love myself (acoustic version) by Olivia O'Brien
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
{0.3} misery business
“I stumbled out into the courtyard to try to flee my misery, but of course we can never flee the misery that is within us.”
― Arthur Golden
K A T S U K I
This place looks nice enough.
Katsuki eyes the expensive apartment building with a wrinkled nose, his own nerves on edge. It was tall and screamed money, but he’s not sure if Izuku actually pays for it or if his dad does. Then again, it wasn’t his place to ask.
The blond alpha swallows his anxiety and punches the code into the keypad. A small beep sounds, signaling that Katsuki could make his way inside.
A security guard sat behind a desk and gave a Katsuki a pointed look as he passed.
Prick.
Katsuki is in so much of a focused state that the rest of his journey to the penthouse passes in a blur. Izuku’s scent of raspberries and chocolate seemed to increase, not helping his stupid nerves in the slightest.
Then Katsuki was face to face with a simple apartment door that smelled so much like the omega that it made his head spin. Amidst Izuku’s scent, though, was something smokier and bitter.
Ugh.
Alpha.
On the other side of the door, Katsuki could faintly hear raised voices and random thuds. These were usually followed by weird screeching and/or squawking. He tried not to think about it too much, though.
Katsuki swallowed his pride (which is the equivalent of sucking a huge dick, honestly) and knocked a few times.
The noise went silent for a few moments before the door opened.
“You’ve gotta be shitting me.”
Touya Todoroki stood in the doorway with crossed arms and looking messier than Katsuki had ever seen him. Feathers were stuck to his shirt and a few were in his hair, but his glare was just as stupid as he remembered.
Katsuki grits his teeth. “I’m here to get Deku.”
The blue-eyed alpha sighed, almost as if he was bored. “Fucking figures. Come in, I guess. Mind the birds.”
The fucking what?
Katsuki followed the other alpha inside the penthouse, glancing around the place with narrowed eyes. He could see shoes by the door and a few pictures, which was relatively normal. What wasn’t normal, though, was the random omega sitting on the floor.
With a whole fucking flock of birds around him.
There were about ten different birds, all colorful and varying sizes. The omega seemed to be having a full conversation with one (a blue parakeet) and eating what appeared to be chicken nuggets.
What the fuck is going on here?
The entire penthouse apartment was set up in a way that definitely looked like two or three people lived here. A gray conversation pit took up the living room, almost full of odd pillows and fluffy blankets. A large flatscreen was mounted on the wall, and Katsuki could see a number of game systems below that.
Framed pictures dotted the walls and lined some free space on book shelves, all full of the same general group of people. There were some of Izuku with members of his band and even a few with a woman that looked like his mother.
Most of them, though, were weird candid photos of Izuku with Touya.
The living room was separated from an expensive kitchen by a marble countertop. It was full of empty music sheets and colorful writing utensils.
“Oi. Blondie. Let’s chat.”
Katsuki forces himself to look away from the strange cult meeting and locks eyes with Touya (he can’t call him Todoroki without thinking of his little brother). “What the fuck did you just call me?”
Touya shot him a bored look before walking towards the kitchen, where Katsuki could see an array of fresh fruit and nuts on an island in the middle of the space. “You’re Blondie to me until I decide you’re not a threat.”
“A threat? The fuck does that mean?”
The blue-eyed alpha hummed, gripping a knife and returning to chopping what looked like fresh strawberries. “You’re not the first alpha to ask little Izuku on a date, and I’m sure you won’t be the last. I need to know what you’re wanting from him.”
Katsuki clenched his hands into fists, struggling to control his temper. “I don’t have to prove shit to you, fuckstick.”
“Such colorful language.”
Smug bastard.
Touya didn’t seem to pick up on Katsuki’s growing annoyance as he chopped fruit, humming quietly as the knife sliced through each one. “Maybe you don’t have to prove anything to me, but I take Izuku’s wellbeing seriously.”
Katsuki’s eyes narrowed. “I’m not going to hurt him.”
“That’s what Shouto said, yet here we are.”
The blond alpha huffed, feeling slightly bitter at the mention of Izuku’s ex. “Don’t compare me to Icy-Hot. I’m talented and that fuck is a fraud.”
Touya’s movements stilled as he started to laugh.
Katsuki’s interest piqued as he watched the usually stoic alpha start to snicker. “What the fuck are you laughing for? I just insulted your little brother.”
The blue-eyed alpha, however, only seemed to laugh harder.
What the fuck.
Before Katsuki could voice his confusion, the sound of squawking echoed from behind him. Some of the damned birds seemed to be laughing with Touya, mimicking the dry chuckle like they’ve heard it before.
Birdbrain, who seemed oblivious to Katsuki’s existence, immediately cooed. “Awww, they’re copying their dad! How sweet!”
Again. What the fuck.
Touya, after a few more seconds of laughter, finally seemed to calm down and wiped a few tears from his eyes. “That was great. I was running out of stupid insults for him, so I might just steal that one!”
“Isn’t he your brother?”
The blue-eyed alpha’s lips twitched into a small scowl at the word as he picked up the knife again. “Only by blood and name, Blondie. I hate him as much as anybody.”
Katsuki’s eyes narrowed. “Is that why you’re living with his ex?”
“Technically, he’s also my ex.”
W H A T.
Katsuki grit his teeth as white-hot jealousy blossomed in his chest. He’s not the jealous type, but the idea of Izuku living with yet another ex was a blow to his ego.
Touya noticed Katsuki’s scowl and snickered, grabbing a dragonfruit from the pile. He didn’t look smug, but he did look mildly amused by the blond’s obvious jealousy. “Don’t worry. I was his rebound and we both decided to stay friends. He’s more of my little brother than anything.”
“I’m not worried, asshole.”
“Really? Your scent says otherwise.”
Fuck.
Katsuki scoffed before defensively crossing his arms. “Didn’t you want to chat? I’d like to finish whatever the fuck you wanted to talk about.”
The blue-eyed alpha laughed again before nodding, placing the knife on the counter as he arranged the chopped fruit in bowls. “Right. Since Pops isn’t here, he asked me to interrogate you. What are your intentions with Izuku?”
Pops?
“My intentions aren’t your business.”
Touya raised an eyebrow. “It is my business if you intend to use him, Blondie. I don’t want to see him fall apart again.”
Katsuki’s chest panged. “I don’t half-ass shit. We’ve interacted enough for you, of all fucking people, to know that. I don’t date people I ain’t fucking serious about.”
“And what if Izuku decides he’s not interested?”
Not fucking likely, but okay.
Katsuki swallowed thickly, his throat suddenly feeling tight. For some reason, the idea of Izuku changing his mind about this date physically hurt him. “Then it’s over. I’ll probably be a whiny bitch for a while, but it’s his decision.”
Touya’s eyes flashed. “I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
“Hah?”
The blue-eyed alpha’s demeanor switched from bored to downright terrifying as he released threatening pheromones. It was enough to make Katsuki’s inner alpha snarl. “I have friends in low places, Bakugou. They care about Izuku more than I do, so don’t fuck up.”
Katsuki really wanted to say, ‘or what?’.
But he didn’t.
“Believe me, I won’t.”
Touya’s pheromones ceased, returning to its neutral tobacco smell. “We’ll see. I’ll go grab Izuku from his room. Ochako’s been here since noon, so he’s probably lost track of time.”
The mood swings were giving Katsuki whiplash.
The freakishly tall alpha walked past Katsuki and disappeared down the hallway, where Izuku’s happy scent was strongest. This meant that Katsuki was alone with Bird Brain, who was now watching him curiously.
Bird Brain stood, earning a displeased squawk from the birds on his shoulders, and approached Katsuki with a grin. “That’s the nicest Touya’s ever been to Izuku’s dates. Congrats!”
Katsuki wrinkled his nose as the short omega tossed a chicken nugget into his mouth. “Thanks? What’s with the fucking birds?”
“Touya doesn’t want pups. So I bought birds today.”
“Are you fucking serious?”
“What? Do you think I should’ve bought more than ten?”
*******
I Z U K U
“I feel stupid.”
Ochako immediately shook her head at Izuku’s words, adjusting the soft beige beanie on the omega’s curls. “You look adorable, Izu. You wear stuff like this all the time! What’s so different about your style now?”
Izuku bit his lip, anxiously fixing his clothes. “I don’t know if Kacchan expects my style during performances...Do you think he’ll hate it?”
“I’ll castrate him if he does.”
“Don’t say things like that!”
Truth is, Izuku’s comfortable style is nothing like how he dresses for the bar. For the date, he’s wearing his favorite pair of mom jeans that are cinched around his waist with a belt. He paired it with a loose dinosaur sweater and a white button-up beneath.
Izuku switched out his heart gauges with simple ones and popped a silver stud in his lip. Ochako did his make-up and highlighted his freckles while placing a large amount of blush on his nose. A sage green choker rested at the base of his throat with a cute dino charm he’s gotten for his birthday.
Honestly, his clothes aren’t Izuku’s biggest anxiety.
It’s deeper than that.
“Hey, Ocha?”
Ochako hummed, smiling warmly at Izuku. “Yeah?”
Izuku swallowed thickly, fiddling with his sweater paws. “He...He doesn’t know I’m trans. What if I tell him and he thinks I’m gross?”
Her eyes softened. “He’s not Todoroki, honey.”
“That was different. Shouto knew me before I transitioned, Ocha.”
Ochako scowled. “So did I, but I didn’t misgender you every day just to be a dick! If Bakugou has a problem with you, then he’s not worthy to be in your presence.”
Izuku nodded shakily, his stomach churning like a raging sea. “Right.”
Before Ochako could say anything else (which she always has plenty to say whenever Izuku feels even slightly insecure) three knocks on his bedroom door broke the tension. Then it opened, revealing a clearly smug yet disheveled Touya.
Touya smiled, picking a feather out of his hair. “Loverboy’s here. I left him with Keigo, so you should hurry before he gets attacked by birds.”
What?
“You left him with Keigo?!”
The alpha shrugged, obviously amused. “Was I not supposed to?”
Izuku squeaked, grabbing his bag from the back of his desk chair and forcing Touya out of his way. “Your mate just randomly adopted ten birds, Touya! And you know he likes weirding out my dates!”
“It’s all part of his test, Izu.”
I hate my friends.
The small, clearly embarrassed, omega stumbled down the hallway as he pulled on his Vans. A few wandering birds squawked at him, but Izuku was in too much of a panic to care. With every step, Katsuki’s woodsy scent only got stronger.
Sure enough, Katsuki is standing next to a mischievous Keigo. He had a small bird in his blond hair that looked very comfortable. The alpha, however, is clearly losing patience.
Even though it’s adorable.
“Kacchan?”
Katsuki’s ruby red eyes flickered to him and his irritated expression immediately disappeared. It’s replaced by a soft look and a flustered blush bloomed across his skin as he noticed Izuku’s clothes.
Keigo spun to face Izuku, his eyes were still mischievous. “Izuku! It looks like Pip’s taken a liking to your date. It's so cute!”
Izuku shot the omega a narrowed look as he walked closer. “It looks like you’re torturing him.”
“I’m not! He offered to feed Pip.”
He did?
Katsuki huffed, his face a darker red now that Keigo had outed him. “You were doing it wrong. Some birds don’t like eating from hands.”
Keigo ignored the jab, smiling brightly. “See?”
Izuku feels a fond smile dawn on his lips as he stood next to the flustered alpha. He chewed on his lip for a second before cautiously reaching (on his tip toes) to list the orange bird from Katsuki’s hair.
The bird chirps happily, rubbing himself against Izuku’s hands. The small omega giggled and pet its head. “You’re just a lover, Pipsqueak.”
Then he gave Pip to Keigo, who looked smug.
Izuku gave him a pointed look. “Stop terrorizing new friends, Keigo.”
The fellow omega plastered an overly innocent expression on his face as Pip nuzzled his cheek. “I’m not terrorizing! Why do you think so low of me, Izu?”
The green-eyed omega rolled his eyes with a small smile before looking at Katsuki, who was strangely silent as he openly ogled at Izuku’s appearance. “Sorry if he weirded you out, Kacchan. I’m ready to go, though!”
Katsuki snapped out of his daze and huffed, finally meeting Izuku’s eyes. “I love your outfit, nerd. You’re fucking gorgeous.”
And like that, Izuku’s brain was reduced to static.
The alpha’s mouth twitched into a smirk as Izuku flushed a bright red from the compliment. In fact, it didn’t look like he was bothered by the omega’s speechlessness. “Let’s get the fuck out of here, though. I’m fucking starving.”
Izuku squeaked and nodded before following Katsuki towards the door.
Before they left, though, Izuku looked back at his friends. Ochako shot him a grin and a thumbs up while Touya simply waved. Keigo was currently feeding fruit to another bird. “I’ll be back later! Don’t wait up!”
With that, Izuku shut the door behind them.
*****
“I’m really sorry if they weirded you out, Kacchan.”
The alpha hummed, the sound bordering a croon, as Izuku fastened his seatbelt. They were in Katsuki’s car (an expensive Rolls Royce) and pulling out of the crowded parking lot near his apartment building.
The air was slightly awkward, but not suffocating.
It felt nice.
“Relax. They didn’t weird me out, Deku.”
Izuku felt his muscles relax at the command, but he still fiddled with his sweater. “I was just making sure. They tend to scare off my dates.”
Katsuki scowled slightly. “They ain’t gonna scare me off, nerd. I won’t give up that easy.”
For some reason, the determination in the alpha’s voice made Izuku’s skin flush.
“You make it sound like you’ve already made up your mind, Kacchan.”
The blond alpha huffed, a slight blush blossoming on his skin as he focused on driving. His pheromones were thick and warm around Izuku, not threatening in the slightest. “So what if I have?”
Izuku chewed on his lip. “You hardly know me.”
“That’s the point of dates. Then I’ll court you properly.”
Hothothothot.
The small omega became insanely flustered, his heart fluttering in his chest despite the insecurity growing in his stomach. Courting was rare nowadays, but it was always something Izuku’s been fascinated by. It’s romantic, above all else.
And Izuku’s a sucker for romance.
Katsuki glanced at his red face and smirked. “You’re cute when you’re flustered, nerd. Red looks good on you.”
Izuku’s skin grew even redder. “You don’t n-need to keep complimenting me, Kacchan.”
“Sure I do. That bastard obviously didn’t do it nearly enough.”
The small omega ignored the painful pang in his chest as he looked out the window, trying to mentally stabilize himself so his self-control wouldn’t waiver. Katsuki’s eyes were glancing at him ever so often, studying every inch of his face as if he was trying to memorize it.
Izuku looked at the alpha, whose vermillion eyes were focused on the road again. “I brought one of my songbooks like you asked!”
“One of the middle school ones?”
With a swift nod, Izuku went through his bag and pulled out a worn composition notebook. “I’m not sure what this has to do with the date, though. It’s pure angst and bad lyrics.”
Katsuki’s mouth twitched. “There’s no such thing as shitty lyrics. It’s the raw emotions that matter.”
“Did you not hear me when I said it’s pure angst?”
The blond alpha snickered, pulling the car in front of a building that looked strangely empty. No other cars were in the parking lot, adding to the mystery. “I’m gonna blow your fucking mind, Deku. Angst, or no angst.”
Izuku pursed his lips and smiled. “I hope so. Where are we?”
The building was in one of the shadier parts of the city, nestled on a plot of land out the outskirts. It wasn’t expensive by any means, but it looked nice in the sense that it brought out the best parts of the low-income neighborhood.
In fact, this neighborhood is the same one Izuku lived in during his early childhood. It was before he met Toshinori at an open-mic night at age eleven and before the old musician became his dad.
Katsuki blinked, looking around at the scenery. “A community center for youth. Shitty Hair grew up in a house close by and wanted a place for kids of all backgrounds to create without concerns of money. He opened this place about two years ago.”
Izuku’s bottom lip threatened to quiver. “He...He did?”
“Yeah. I wanted somewhere private, so Shitty Hair closed it for the day.”
The small omega felt his heart swell as he looked at the familiar scenery. “I recognize it now. He chose the abandoned lot all the neighborhood kids used to play kickball in. They stopped after that new park opened a few blocks away.”
The blond alpha stilled, his ruby eyes snapping towards Izuku’s face.
Izuku smiled, despite the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. “I wasn’t able to take music classes as a kid because my mom barely made enough for rent.”
“What about your dad?”
The small omega shrugged, looking down at his scarred hands. “He didn’t adopt me until I was 13. He’d been my mentor for two years at that point and already treated me like his kid. Before that, I was self-taught and on my own.”
Katsuki’s gaze softened considerably. “Damn.”
“Yeah. I would’ve loved this. I’m glad it’s here now.”
I wonder if it would’ve changed anything...
A comfortable silence settled between them as Izuku drank in his surroundings. Katsuki’s scent had become soft and vaguely affectionate, which is odd because his eyes never left the omega’s face.
After a few moments, Izuku met his gaze.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
The alpha blinked multiple times, almost as if he was trying to center himself. His skin flushed slightly as Izuku gave him a teasing grin. “Fuck off. You telling me I can’t look at your pretty face, nerd?”
Izuku’s face heated and Katsuki smirked. “N-no, I’m not.”
“Good. Let’s go, nerd. I’ve been planning this shit all day!”
*******
Once inside, Izuku followed Katsuki through the colorful building that smelled like happy pups and sunshine. It was fully equipped for art of all kinds, including a dance studio, a black box theatre, an art room with numerous supplies, and a number of recording studios that had varying themes.
Katsuki stopped in front of a specific room, opening the door with a small huff. “I hope you like red wine. Otherwise, I’ll kick Eyebags into next week for lying.”
Wine?
Izuku followed him inside and was immediately speechless.
The room was obviously a recording studio (a large one, at that), but Katsuki had transformed the pup-friendly space into a professional one with added touches. A fluffy blanket was laid out on the floor with food and a bottle of red wine in a bucket of ice.
Next to the soundboard, Izuku could see writing supplies and an acoustic guitar.
He’s too sweet...
“I...I don’t even know what to say, Kacchan.”
Katsuki held Izuku’s gaze, almost as if he was anxious for his reaction. “I know it’s not much, but your cousin told me that crowds made you nervous as hell. Trust me, my original plan was fucking top tier-”
Izuku cut him off, a wide smile resting on his lips. “I love it! Nobody’s ever done anything like this for me before, Kacchan. Thank you.”
The alpha’s eyes glinted with pride. “It’s my pleasure, nerd. You don’t need to thank me for treating you the way you obviously fucking deserve.”
Fuck me.
Both literally and figuratively, please.
“Sit, Deku. Dinner’s only half of the fucking date.”
Izuku snapped out of his daze and obeyed the command, fighting the urge to shiver at the alpha’s tone. He sat down on the fluffy blanket, his cheeks dusted with a rosy shade of pink that looked natural in the soft light.
Katsuki sat down next to him, his vermillion eyes never leaving Izuku’s skin. As he opened the wine, he spoke in a low tone that made the omega swallow. “I was thinking we could write a song together.”
A what?
Ice cold shock and dread washed over Izuku like the showers he took after Shouto left. The words sounded so familiar, yet not. Katsuki’s voice repeated in his head like a mantra, except it was switching between rough baritone and smooth tenor.
Izuku suddenly felt dizzy and breathless as he stared at the glass of red wine in his scarred hands. “A...a song?”
Katsuki’s eyes softened. “What’s that face for, Deku?”
“Is that the real reason you did all this?”
The alpha stilled and his face crumpled into a scowl. “What the hell are you talking about? Why the fuck would I-”
Izuku abruptly placed the glass on the smooth hardwood floor before moving to stand. Hot, scalding tears welled up in his eyes and threatened to spill over like a dam fit to burst. He couldn’t stop shaking, and all he could see when he looked at Katsuki was two-toned hair.
Why couldn’t Izuku catch a break? Just this once.
The small omega felt his world tilt as tears started to fall. “I knew this was a terrible idea. I should’ve known better than to think you were any different.”
“Deku, wait,” Katsuki huffed, a firm wrapping around Izuku’s wrist.
Izuku snarled, yet the blond alpha didn’t flinch. “What? You’re just using me for my songs, right? Or is it that you wanna meet my dad? Do you wanna use me too?”
His words hung in the air between them.
A mix of emotions flashed across Katsuki’s as his grip on Izuku’s wrist relaxed. His ruby red eyes looked angry and sad as he grits his teeth together. A low growl left his scowling lips as he stared at Izuku’s tears.
After a few moments, Katsuki took a deep breath before locking eyes with Izuku.
“I’m not like that bastard, Izuku. I’m capable of writing my own fucking music.”
Izuku blinked, causing even more tears to fall. “How am I supposed to know that? You bring me here, make me feel special, then ask me to write a song together?!”
Katsuki didn’t even flinch at Izuku’s tone. In fact, he met the omega’s snarls with a few of his own. “You ARE special! Dammit, Deku, you’re fucking amazing! It pisses me off that you still can’t see that.”
He’s lying.
He has to be.
Izuku felt soft hiccups escape his lips. “You don’t even know me! That person onstage...That person isn’t me. I’m not amazing, or confident, or even special! I’m plain old Izuku with a less than average face and an average personality.”
The alpha clenched his jaw. “Why the fuck do you think so low of yourself, huh?”
“Because it’s the truth.”
“No, it’s not. It’s bullshit.”
“What makes you so sure of that?”
Katsuki stilled as Izuku’s words hit him full force. As the silence became deafening, the alpha spoke in a quiet voice that seemed so full of confidence. “You had me wrapped around your damn finger the second you smiled at me, you idiot.”
Izuku’s heart fluttered in his chest, betraying him. “Stop lying.”
The alpha huffed, his vermillion eyes sharp as he continued speaking. “I thought you were pretty last night, sure. Looking at you now, though...It’s like I can’t form a single intelligent sentence. You’re not fucking average, not to me.”
“Stop…” Izuku tried, his voice cracking.
Katsuki ignored him. “Earlier...Listening to you talk about your childhood...I was staring because you somehow surprised me again. How the fuck are you so goddamn amazing without even trying?! It’s annoying as hell.”
Every word was like fresh air after nearly drowning. It was sweet and painful but oh-so addictive.
It felt like a trick.
Izuku swallowed thickly, clenching his sweater between scarred fingers. “You’re going too far just to hurt me. Th-that’s the only thing that makes sense, though.”
“How the fuck does that make sense?!”
The small omega ignored the incredulous outrage in Katsuki’s voice as he tried to wipe away tears that never stopped falling. His brain was struggling to differentiate Katsuki from Shouto, just like it had with Touya.
The thought of someone actually caring was too good to be true.
Izuku couldn’t stop shaking as memories flashed behind his eyelids. “You m-make it sound so easy, Kacchan. But you’ll get bored eventually. I was never enough for him, so how could I possibly be enough for anyone else?”
Warm and calloused hands brushed against his cheek, wiping away tears as Izuku opened his eyes. The touch was soft and sure, not wavering once.
Katsuki was kneeling in front of him, much closer than before. His lips were set in a frown and his eyebrows were furrowed as his ruby eyes scanned Izuku’s face. He didn’t look angry or cold, unlike Shouto. He looked frustrated and…
Concerned?
Izuku found himself leaning against Katsuki’s touch, silently wishing he wouldn’t let go.
Katsuki softly ran his thumb along Izuku’s cheekbone. “You’re talking a lot of shit, nerd. You can’t decide how I feel, or how much I deserve.”
“And if you get bored with me?”
The alpha’s lips twitched. “Do you know how fucking unlikely that is? I can’t make sense of you half the damn time! I never know what you’re thinking, and I don’t think I ever will.”
I can’t tell if he’s lying or not.
Izuku swallowed thickly as his heart raced in his chest. “Why...why did you wanna write a song with me? I can’t have more music stolen from me, Kacchan. It’s like losing a piece of myself, you know?”
Katsuki shot him a look. “If you had let me explain, nerd, then you would’ve known why.”
Oh.
“Explain, then.”
Katsuki chuckled, removing his warm hands away from Izuku’s face as he looked around the studio. The small omega pouted at the loss but didn’t say anything. “Music is the only way I’m any good at communicating my damn emotions.”
Izuku bit his lip. I get that.
“When’s the last time you wrote a song that wasn’t about him?”
The small omega furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to remember. The longer he thought about it, the more he realized how long it had been. “...A few days before our first date. I was fifteen and...I only went because he wouldn’t stop asking.”
Katsuki raised an eyebrow. “It’s been three fucking years?!”
“Maybe? He didn’t like it when I wrote anything else.”
“What the fuck.”
Izuku offered an awkward grin. “Now that I’m saying it out loud, I realize that it sounds bad. But it made sense at the time.”
Katsuki blinked multiple times and looked momentarily disgusted. Then he shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “My plan was to find a salvageable song in your middle school journal. Are you okay with that?”
He’s...asking?
The small omega felt his heart flutter. “You want to rewrite one of my own songs with me? They’re terrible.”
Katsuki huffed, crossing his arms. “Do you want to, or not?”
“Depends. Am I going to regret it?”
The alpha scowled at Izuku’s words, but his eyes were still a soft shade of red. “I hope that you won’t. But I don’t plan on fucking around when it comes to you, Deku.”
Izuku smiled. “Okay. I’m trusting you, Kacchan.”
Let’s just hope I won’t regret it.
******
{0.4} learn to love myself
“How can anyone love me when I can't find a single reason to love myself? Do you ever feel like you've given yourself away? Let the world drain away every important thing about you? Why can't anything ever just feel...normal?”
― Rick Remender
K A T S U K I
Katsuki likes to call himself a reasonable man.
He may be loud and foul-mouthed, but he’s never been the type to take a physical approach when it comes to his problems. Katsuki has only been in a handful of fights in his entire twenty-two years of being alive.
However, Katsuki is dangerously close to committing homicide.
Why?
Watching Izuku fall apart in front of him, on their fucking date, because Katsuki wanted to write a song was a sobering experience. Whatever Todoroki did to him must’ve been bad, especially since Izuku is insecure when he definitely shouldn’t be.
Katsuki has NEVER wanted to punch someone as bad as he does now. He wants to knock Todoroki’s stupid fucking teeth in and watch him choke.
But one step at a time.
“No, Kacchan! You’ll laugh!”
Katsuki had Izuku pinned to the blanket as he attempted to wrestle the notebook from his grip. The atmosphere felt much lighter than before, and the omega’s happy scent was so sweet that it made Katsuki scent-drunk.
The blond alpha cursed under his breath, earning a giggle. “You little shit. They can’t be that bad, nerd! Stop fighting me!”
Izuku squealed, his cheeks a pretty shade of red. “No! I don’t remember what’s in here!”
“I won’t laugh!”
The small omega shot him a knowing look, smiling in such a way that made Katsuki’s brain damn-near short circuit. “You look like a demon right now, Kacchan! Excuse me for calling out your bullshit.”
Katsuki’s jaw dropped. “Once I get that damned thing, I’m gonna kick your ass. Then I’ll fucking laugh, Deku.”
He lunged forward again and successfully grabbed the notebook.
VICTORY, BITCHES!!
Izuku turned bright red and squeaked as Katsuki quickly moved off of him. He watched as the blond alpha smirked and opened the notebook, his scent still addictive and sweet in the air between them.
Katsuki scanned the yellowed pages, expecting to see lyrics.
Instead, an unfamiliar name was scribbled on the first page. It was still Izuku’s messy and looped handwriting, but the name didn’t match.
Midoriya Izumi - 14
Who the fuck is…
Does Deku have a sister?
No, Eye Bags would’ve said something.
“Kacchan? What is it?”
Katsuki tore his eyes from the loopy handwriting and looked at the omega in front of him. Izuku was sitting up with his curls sticking up in odd directions. He looked confused and nervous as he fidgeted with his sleeves.
Izuku’s scent soured slightly. “You look confused...What is it?”
“Who’s Izumi, nerd?”
The omega immediately recoiled as the name left Katsuki’s lips. Suddenly, Izuku looked deathly pale as his scent became charged with fear. “Oh god...I grabbed the wrong one…”
Katsuki closed the notebook and moved closer to the omega, who now looked terrified. The alpha was hopelessly confused by the change in demeanor, and even more puzzled by the unfamiliar name.
He reached for Izuku, who flinched.
He’s fucking terrified.
Katsuki clicked his tongue, ignoring the pang of hurt in his chest. “You can tell me, Deku. Did you have a sister or something? It’s not that big of a fucking deal.”
Izuku swallowed, avoiding Katsuki’s eyes. “I’m an only child.”
The alpha felt his eye twitch. “Then who-”
“K-Kacchan. I’m I-Izumi. Or, I was.”
The atmosphere shifted as soon as Izuku’s words hit Katsuki.
Izuku took a shaky breath and reached for the book, carefully avoiding Katsuki’s confused gaze. His entire body was shaking as he opened the notebook to the first page, where the name was written.
Oh.
OH.
Katsuki felt realization wash over him like a spring shower.
Izuku shakily laughed, almost as if he was trying to hide how scared he was. “I probably should have told you, huh? I was planning to at some point, but I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to even start.”
The alpha still couldn’t find his words.
With a small, sad smile, Izuku finally looked up at Katsuki. “I’m trans. FTM, AFAB, or whatever else you wanna call it. I’ve been out since I was sixteen.”
Again, Katsuki doesn’t know what to say.
Actually, he knows what he WANTS to say. Katsuki isn’t disgusted, which is probably what Izuku thinks. He wants to tell the omega that it's fine, that he’s always been supportive of the community.
Hell, Mina’s been out for years.
But Izuku doesn’t give him a chance.
“I’m not gonna apologize for who I am, but I’m sorry for not-”
Katsuki FINALLY figures out how the fuck his voice works and cuts Izuku off, who looks like he’s close to tears. “If you fucking apologize to me, I’ll kick your ass for being stupid. You don’t owe me shit.”
Alright. That’s a bit blunter than he intended.
Izuku, however, didn’t look bothered by his wording. In fact, his viridian eyes now looked slightly hopeful. “You don’t...have anything to say?”
Katsuki sighed before forcibly removing the notebook from Izuku’s lap. Then he gripped the omega’s trembling fingers between his own, carefully trying to soothe his panic. “Why the fuck would I? I like you, dumbass. This shit doesn’t phase me.”
“I thought…” Izuku’s voice sounded small. “I thought you’d be mad. Shouto was.”
Okay, there’s another reason to kick his ass.
Katsuki clenched his jaw, focusing on their intertwined hands. “You know that Raccoon Eyes is MTF, nerd. Why would you think I’d be mad?”
Izuku smiled softly as he stared at their hands, too. “I don’t really know. When I came out...not everyone had been supportive. My parents were happy that I was happy, and my friends just...They threw a party to celebrate."
God, I’m sure they did.
"But Shouto...I think his feelings changed after that."
Katsuki ran his thumb along Izuku’s palm, trying to soothe any lingering nerves the omega had. “This doesn’t change how I feel. I hope you know that, shitty nerd.”
The small omega grinned, his scent brightening immediately. “I do now.”
“Good. Let’s continue where we left off, then.”
****
“These aren’t half bad. What the fuck made you think these are terrible?”
“Which one are you looking at?”
“The same one as you!”
“Oh. The lyrics don’t make sense on this one.”
“HAH?!”
Katsuki looked at Izuku as if he was insane.
Izuku, however, snatched the notebook from Katsuki’s lap and flipped through the pages. After about two or three, he stopped. A look of nostalgia washed over his face as a fond smile dawned on his lips.
God, he’s cute.
I hate it.
Katsuki huffed and took the notebook back. As he looked at the faded handwriting (which was in multiple different ink colors), something about it felt nice. “You even wrote fucking chords for this one, nerd.”
Izuku flushed a soft pink. “I was learning guitar at the time, Kacchan. Dad wanted me to practice, so I came up with those. It’s not-”
“Stop it with that shit. Where’s the blank paper, Deku?”
The small omega pouted and handed him some of the blank paper. Katsuki took it from him and spread everything out as Izuku drank some more wine. “I relied too much on repetition and rhyme, you know.”
Katsuki shot the omega a glare. “What did I just say? Stop it with that shit.”
“Your language is about as colorful as a rainbow today.”
“Good, ‘cause I’m gay as fuck.”
Izuku burst into a fit of giggles, his skin flushing a pretty pink color as a sunshine smile dawned on his face. Katsuki’s heart, the fucking traitor, started beating hard like his favorite kick drum. With a proud huff, the alpha focused on transferring the old lyrics to the paper.
Katsuki eyed some of the words. “This is too clean. We should add a ‘motherfucker’ in here or some shit like that.”
The small omega shot him a look. “Why ‘motherfucker’, specifically?”
“Actually, it should be a verb.”
“You want to put ‘motherfucking’ in a song?”
“Got a problem with it, nerd?”
Izuku playfully rolled his eyes before looking at the paper. His body was kind leaning into Katsuki’s as he looked over the alpha’s shoulder, which totally did NOT give Katsuki butterflies. “You’re not transferring the second verse?”
Katsuki hummed, trying to control his racing heart. “This verse should be completely new. Any ideas, shitty nerd?”
The small omega’s viridian eyes never left the paper, so he has no idea that Katsuki is staring at him like a lovesick puppy. With a slight purr (and Jesus fuck, that made Katsuki’s cock twitch) Izuku took the pencil and started humming the chords he’d originally put down.
It sounded soft and melodic, as if every note had a specific intention.
He’s so fucking pretty.
HOW THE FUCK IS HE SO PRETTY?!
Izuku chewed on his lip, fiddling with his piercing. “How about this?”
He handed the paper to Katsuki, who snapped out of his daze with an embarrassed huff. As the alpha scanned the paper, he wrinkled his nose.
“I’m adding ‘fuck’. It looks better that way.”
“You can’t keep adding cuss words, Kacchan!”
“Sure I fucking can! I just did, nerd.”
Katsuki handed the paper back to the omega, who was clearly pouting, and waited for Izuku to read the new lyrics. After a few seconds, Izuku gave a small huff of defeat and leaned his head against the alpha’s shoulder.
Immediately, Katsuki’s gay panic mode activated.
Izuku looked up at Katsuki, who probably looked like an idiot. “Kacchan? You’re really red.”
Katsuki made a noise of clear denial, ignoring the flushed heat on his face. “Pfft, no I’m not. It’s the lighting. Obviously.”
“Riiight.” Izuku teased, resting his head on Katsuki’s shoulder again.
With a small (embarrassed) huff, Katsuki allowed the stupidly pretty omega to continue leaning against him. As they continued writing and rewriting lyric after lyric, the overall awkwardness of it all had completely disappeared.
It felt natural and comforting.
Writing with Izuku was a gift in and of itself. The small omega seemed to understand words much better than Katsuki, especially when it came to pairing them with guitar chords. He made it seem so easy and effortless; almost like he was born to make music.
Katsuki almost felt envious of his talent, but he was more entranced than anything else. Izuku has so much goddamn potential and he has no fucking idea.
“I didn’t know you played guitar…”
“Heh. Guess I’m just full of surprises, nerd.”
“Your arrogance is astounding, Kacchan.”
“Don’t act as if you fucking hate it. I know you like my arrogance.”
Izuku chuckled and rolled his eyes. As Katsuki placed his personal acoustic on his lap, the blond alpha looked expectantly at the omega.
Katsuki raised an eyebrow. “Are you ready, or not?”
The small omega pursed his lips before nodding, obviously trying to hide his own nervous smile. They weren’t recording because Izuku vetoed the idea, but Katsuki managed to convince him to at least play it once.
With surprisingly gentle movements, Katsuki plucked at the string.
Izuku a deep breath, his green eyes flickering to Katsuki’s before tentatively singing the words he’s written at the end of middle school.
Why is it so hard to just be myself?
I feel like I'm different from everyone else
Yeah, why am I like this? Can somebody please tell me?
I look in the mirror and what do I see?
I don't really know who's looking back at me
I don't even know who I wanna be
I don't need to know who I am yet
I don't need to have a solid plan yet
I don't need to be the same as everyone else
I just need to motherfuckin' love myself
Seeing Izuku perform up close did things to Katsuki.
Not in the sexual sense, but it made his heart feel as if it would burst from his chest. Katsuki’s face felt warm and flushed, but all he could focus on was just how fucking pretty Izuku looks when he sings.
He also focused on playing, of course.
I need to (I need to) I need to love myself
I need to (I need to) I need to love myself
I need to (I need to) I need to love myself
I need to love myself before I love anyone else, yeah
No matter how hard I try or what I do
I just can never fuckin' impress you
So why am I letting what you say get me down?
I spent my whole life thinking I was wrong
And nobody likes me and it's all my fault
But I'm done with that shit, I finally figured out
The initial awkwardness disappeared from Izuku’s demeanor as he relaxed into the music. His eyebrows were furrowed and his anxious frown was replaced by a soft grin. It was the kind of happiness that could only be found surrounded by comfort.
Katsuki has never wanted to kiss someone so bad.
I don't need to be the same as everyone else
I just need to motherfuckin' love myself
I need to (I need to) I need to love myself
I need to love myself before I love anyone else
I need to, and I don't need your help
I need to (I need to) just fuckin' love myself
I need to, before I love anyone else
I need to (love myself) just fuckin' love myself, oh no
Katsuki made sure to keep his attention on the chords, but he couldn’t stop glancing at Izuku’s lips. He’d spent a good portion of the night watching the idiot chew on his bottom lip, so it's the nerd’s fault for teasing him.
Fuck it.
I need to love myself
I need to, I need to, I need to love myself
I need to, I need to love myself
I need to love myself before I love anyone else
I need to, and I don't need your help
I need to (love myself, I need to), I need to just fuckin' love myself
I need to (I need to), before I love anyone else
I need to (love myself) I need to just fuckin' love myself, oh, no
As soon as that last note left Izuku’s lips, Katsuki (gently) placed his guitar flat on the floor and leaned in close. The sweet smell of chocolate invaded his senses as Izuku’s eyes widened and his skin flushed a dark red.
Izuku’s breathing hitched as Katsuki ran his thumb along his freckled jaw. “Ka-Kacchan-”
“Can I kiss you, Deku?”
The omega squeaked, yet the air noticeably sweetened. “Please.”
Katsuki grasped Izuku’s chin and pressed their lips together. The overall effect was immediate and addictive for both parties. The sweet-smelling omega fucking melted, a soft whimper escaping the back of his throat.
Fucking, fucking, fuck.
With an audible growl, Katsuki deepened the kiss before licking greedily at the omega’s bottom lip. Izuku complied easily, his hands traveling from the alpha’s chest to rest around his neck.
As their tongues explored new territory, Katsuki couldn’t help but lose himself in the feeling. Izuku tasted like red wine and something else he couldn’t quite describe. Whatever the fuck it was, Katsuki can feel his scent-drunk brain becoming addicted.
Izuku pulled away first, his pupils blown and lips slightly swollen. “I hate that you’re good at this. This is hardly fair, Kacchan.”
“Says you.” Katsuki purred, his breath fanning across Izuku’s lips.
Instead of kissing him again, Katsuki peppered soft kisses along Izuku’s jaw before traveling lower. With a slight smirk, the blond alpha ran his tongue across the soft skin of Izuku’s throat. And like fucking magic, a pitiful whine pierced the air.
Katsuki purred lowly at the sound, his inner alpha roaring with satisfaction as Izuku tugged at his hair. “You sound so pretty for me, baby. I fucking love it.”
“Kacchan…” Izuku whined, his voice barely above a whisper.
More. I need to hear more, fuck.
The blond alpha snarled lowly, his canines sharpening as he continued tasting the expanse of Izuku’s throat. The air became overwhelmingly sweet as the omega became putty in his hands. Everything felt warm and hazy, almost like Katsuki was under some kind of spell.
Izuku tugged harshly at Katsuki’s hair as the alpha’s canines scraped against his skin. “Ka-Kacchan, wait. I-I think we should stop.”
Katsuki hummed against the omega’s skin, ceasing his movements. “What is it?”
“I don’t want you to mark me on accident.”
The alpha felt a scowl tug at his lips, but he kept his face buried against Izuku’s scent gland. He was more lucid than before, but the urge to bite was still strong. “On accident? I don’t do shit unless I mean it.”
Izuku swallowed, the movement even more noticeable to Katsuki than before. “That’s the pheromones talking. A bite is-”
“A promise,” Katsuki murmured, resting his chin on Izuku’s shoulder.
A claiming bite was completely different from a mating one. It staked an alpha’s claim to a specific omega, almost like marking his territory. It was a promise to mate; an implied agreement that the alpha and omega would mate eventually.
Izuku nodded, his scent less sweet than before. “This is the first date, Kacchan. I don’t want any more broken promises, especially if you eventually get bored.”
“I don’t break promises, nerd.”
“Everyone says that. I don’t think I can take losing another mark-”
Katsuki stilled as warm venom flooded his mouth. “That’s what this is about? You let that bastard mark you, and he left anyway?”
Izuku’s heart was beating hard enough that Katsuki could feel it. His scent had soured considerably, but the alpha was too annoyed to care. “He didn’t. I left, Kacchan. Every time he cheated, I could feel it. I couldn’t take the pain anymore.”
I’m gonna punch the ever-loving fuck out of that bastard.
“Fucking asshole. I’m not like that, Deku. A promise is a promise.”
The small omega chuckled, but it didn’t hold the joy from before. “Then I guess you need to prove it. If you do, then you claim me as many times as you want. Think you can handle that?”
Katsuki’s inner alpha snarled at the challenge. “Is that a challenge, little omega?”
Izuku shivered at the dark tone in the alpha’s voice. The movement made Katsuki grin and release a soft croon in the omega’s ear. “Think you can handle it?”
“Of fucking course I can! I’m the best, shitty nerd.”
The small omega smiled, pulling away and gently holding Katsuki’s face in both hands. They stared at each other, viridian eyes locking with vermillion. Izuku leaned in close, a shy look on his face. “Kiss me?”
Katsuki growled, gripping the omega’s chin. “You don’t even have to ask, Deku.
“Good.”
Notes:
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I love Todoroki in canon (cause I love characters with depth and childhood trauma) but I just wanted him to be a dick in this. We'll see his character in later parts, but his whole personality in this is utter garbage.
But his dad is so much fucking WORSE.
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