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Meowth was not going to trust that electric rat, no way in hell. There was no way he was going to believe him, not when he electrocuted him on the daily (ignoring that the reason he shocked them was that they stalked and kidnapped him just as often).
Besides, it was a stupid reason anyway. Pikachu wasn’t being clear about it. Just for some translation, he’d said. What kind of vague, non-answer was that?
No, it was obviously a trick. Maybe the twerp had finally grown some guts and decided to hit them back, give them a taste of their own medicine. Meowth was not ready to be shocked again so soon--he’d only gotten his fur back into place less than an hour ago.
“What would you even need me to translate?” he asked, scornfully. “Don’t you and the twerp have, like, a special connection?”
He wouldn’t understand this, Pikachu explained. Ash (not the twerp, the rat emphasized, not that Meowth cared) didn’t know this word.
“Oh yeah? And what is it?”
The same gleeful grin Meowth saw before he got a nice mouthful of static appeared on Pikachu’s face, and his hind fur rose automatically. But out of everything the rodent could’ve said, Meowth did not expect to hear ‘fuck.’
“You want to teach him to swear? Why don’t the other twerps do that?”
They wanted to protect the kid’s “innocent” ears, apparently. Pikachu thought that was stupid. Meowth sort of did too.
Ugh, he hated this. On the one hand, he didn’t trust Pikachu, not one bit, and didn’t want to work with him. On the other hand, hearing that kid say ‘fuck’ would be so worth it Meowth wouldn’t even mind the shock.
“...Fine. You got me. Take me there.”
It was a brief walk through the woods to find the twerps’ camp. The two older ones were sleeping, looked like it, but the twerp was sitting up. He looked a little...lost, maybe. Probably homesick, or something.
Not like Meowth cared.
Pikachu called his name, and the kid whipped his head around. “Thank Arceus, Pikachu, I didn’t know where you were! Next time you gotta tell m--”
He made eye contact with Meowth. His brows furrowed and his voice turned to a harsh whisper. “Pikachu! Team Rocket followed you! Give ‘em a Thunderbolt!”
“Wait, wait, twerp!” Meowth whisper-yelled, cutting the kid off. “I come in peace. Your rat and I called a truce.”
The next response seemed more instinct than anything. “He’s not a rat, he’s a mouse. But, wait, what?” (Ugh. Kids were so slow.) “Pikachu, is that true? Why?”
Pikachu told him he needed a translation. “But I can understand you just fine! Why--”
“You don’t know this, twerp. Now, let’s, uh, get away from the others. Don’t wanna wake ‘em up, you know.”
The boy looked confused but complied all the same. “So,” Meowth started, the yellow mouse’s and young human’s face both lit by the just-shy-of-full moon. “There are some words you should learn that the other twerps aren’t gonna tell ya about.”
“Why?”
Pikachu interjected. Meowth tried to keep the laugh out of his voice. “Well, ‘cause they’re cowards. These are special words. They’re really fun to use.”
Pikachu chattered, and the kid looked even more confused. “Ah, yeah. The best one first. Repeat after me, kid. ‘Fuck.’”
Without hesitation, he did. “Fuck.”
It took every one of his nine lives not to burst out laughing right then and there. Pikachu wasn’t quite so strong. “ What?” the human said indignantly. “What’s so funny? What does it mean?”
“It, uh...it…” he considered lying to the kid, telling him it meant something else so he’d use it in the wrong context, but decided against it. “It’s something you say when you’re angry. Like, say this: ‘Fuck you!’”
One eye narrowed. “Fuck you?”
More conviction! Pikachu yelled. The twerp glanced down. “Fuck you!”
Yeah! That’s it! The rat said. Shit next.
“Ever heard of shit?”
“Shit?” (again, almost impossible not to laugh) “Isn’t that, like, poop?”
The yellow rodent was uncontrollably giggling. “Sure, that’s...one way to use it. Say it, real loud. Pretend you hurt yourself!”
The kid, bolstered by his and Pikachu’s encouragement, pretended to stub his toe. “ Shit!” he yelled, probably too loud.
Meowth lost the battle. He burst out laughing, and Pikachu fell into hysterics. “Okay, okay,” Meowth said, panting. “One more!”
Go for bitch! Said the rat, enthusiastically. Meowth could barely contain his laughter. “Bitch.”
“Bitch. What’s that one mean?”
“Uhh, well, you can say that one to your lovely twerpette.”
“Misty?”
“Yeah! Next time you twerps fight, just call her a bitch! You’ll definitely win!”
The kid grinned real wide. “You really think so?”
“I promise you, kiddo.”
“Thanks, Meowth! Thanks, Pikachu!”
Maybe that wasn’t so bad, thought Meowth, as he left rat and human behind in the woods. He couldn’t wait to see how it played out. Just--the memory of the kid saying those words so casually. Hilarious.
It was the next afternoon when it happened. They had Pikachu caught in their electricity-proof net, and it was going perfectly, and they were finally going to catch him!
When it happened.
“Fuck you!” said the kid, angrily and proudly. The reaction was immaculate. The two twerps gasped, the girl exclaiming “Ash!” disapprovingly. Jessie and James looked at each other for a second, silent, before laughing their asses off, wheezing.
It...ended up giving the rat the opportunity he needed to escape, but Meowth wasn’t really disappointed. It was a moment before they went blasting off when the twerpette rounded on him. “You can’t say that, Ash! Where’d you even learn it?”
“Pikachu taught me!” he said, proudly, and then as a bit of a non sequitur, “bitch!”
He couldn’t hear the reaction as he and Jessie and James went blasting off into the sky, but he didn’t need to.
Maybe that rat and his kid weren’t so bad after all.