Chapter Text
Kuroo Tetsurou was a quiet person. Explaining everything he was thinking felt like too much work. When he tried, his thoughts came out wrong, so what was the point?
He had his dad, his grandma, and his grandpa, and that was everyone he needed to understand him. His dad liked to say that he had a “rich inner life,” and his family knew him well enough to get a glimpse of that special world inside his head without him having to say anything. They didn’t make him feel out of place, like so many kids at his old school made him feel.
It wasn’t necessarily anything that anyone did, but explaining who he was and what he liked to do to other people felt like one of the hardest things in the world. Kuroo’s family members were the ones who knew him and he was content with that--he had three great people who knew his favorite color (maroon), his favorite protein (fish), and his comfort movie (Castle in the Sky).
When Kuroo was 7 years old, his dad tried to get him to make some friends outside of his immediate family. He sat Kuroo down one evening and presented him with three extracurricular options: a weekly painting class, group recorder lessons, or volleyball. Kuroo chose the recorder lessons. However, the morning after Kuroo’s first attempt at practicing the instrument in his room, he woke up to find the recorder gone and a volleyball rec league t-shirt in its place.
While Kuroo tended to stumble through his words and get frustrated when he tried to communicate, talking to the other kids at volleyball was different. There was a purpose, and not much needed to be said in order for his teammates to understand him. For a whole summer the only words Kuroo really had to say to anyone his age were “nice receive” and “over here”— plus, it got his dad to stop worrying, so it was a win-win.
Volleyball also made him feel strong for the first time in his young life. Kuroo had always felt weak, especially compared to his dad, who spent all day moving around huge pieces of construction as a contractor. It also didn’t help that his dad was a people person- Kuroo felt small in comparison, no matter how much his dad told him it was okay to be quiet.
But in volleyball, he was learning to use his body to do things he never realized he could do. He learned how to block a tough spike from his opponent and dive to keep the ball from touching the ground. At the end of the league’s first season, his coach gave him the MVP title during their awards ceremony. Kuroo’s dad cried, but Kuroo wasn’t even embarrassed- he grinned from ear to ear the rest of the week.
Then, Kuroo’s dad got a new job and a few weeks after his first season ended, the Kuroo men moved in with Kuroo’s grandparents in Tokyo. Moving to a new place forced Kuroo to start over from scratch. He didn’t know anyone and the big city was really big. Tokyo had so many people and places and things and he didn’t know what to do with himself.
Kuroo’s dad must have noticed his anxiousness, because the day after they moved, he took him on a long tour of their neighborhood. “See, Tetsurou, there are a lot of houses that look like ours and they are much closer together than our old town. But that means there are a lot of cool people to meet!”
Kuroo doubted that. The only people he had seen his dad talk to were a short man and taller lady getting into a tiny car. They both were wearing suits and looked very boring compared to his dad’s brightly patterned shirt and sandals. Kuroo thought his dad would find them boring too, but he came away from their conversation with a smile on his face.
Kuroo immediately stopped caring about the tour when he spotted a volleyball net at the local park. He pointed excitedly at it, and his dad chuckled. “All right, we can play for a little bit before dinner.”
Much to Kuroo’s delight, “a little bit” turned into many hours of practicing spikes and receives at the park. His grandma even made dinner an hour later than usual so they could play as long as possible. The shioyaki still tasted amazing despite him needing to eat it on the ground and on a paper plate.
When his dad started his new contracting job the next day, Kuroo assumed that he would have no one else to play with while he waited for school-- but his dad had other ideas. That very same afternoon he declared that he had found a way to force Kuroo into social interaction with “kids your own age, Tetsurou, not just your family.”
His dad ignored his huff of annoyance and took Kuroo by his hand, pulling him over to the house next door.
The house looked exactly like Kuroo’s new one. It was a tan color with smooth concrete siding and big windows. There was a little porch outside of the window identical to the one outside of Kuroo’s room. He hoped whoever was in that room appreciated it, since his dad wouldn’t let him open the window in his own room without supervision just yet.
Kuroo tried to push down the shot of fear that pierced through his entire body at the realization he was going to be expected to talk to whoever it was his dad was so excited for him to meet. He wasn’t used to holding full conversations, and he had just finished moving all of his stuff to a new place. Why did he need to do this? Kuroo woefully realized it was too late to argue only when he was already being shuffled inside the house.
Kuroo tried to subtly hide behind his dad, letting his eyes adjust to the new space. It was decorated differently than his own house-there seemed to be a lot less to look at. Kuroo’s house was full of pictures from places his grandparents had traveled and art from family friends who lived scattered around the world. This house looked plain in comparison, but had a calming nature to it. The best part of this house was the large bookshelves that lined many of the walls, overflowing with multi-colored spines of varying sizes.
After sizing up the room, Kuroo tuned in to what his dad was saying to the woman who apparently lived here. He recognized her as the same lady who got into the tiny car. She looked like his 1st grade teacher—very put together, with glasses on and a sleek button-down shirt. She looked down at Kuroo and gave him a small wave.
Kuroo’s dad squeezed his arm and he shyly waved back before his dad said, “Thank you so much for having us, Kozume-san. I was so relieved to hear that there was a kid close to Tetsurou’s age nearby.”
His dad leaned in to murmur something to the woman, at which point Kuroo realized there was someone else in the room—a kid about his height, hiding behind the woman’s legs as much as he was hiding behind his father’s. Wide golden eyes blinked at him, and Kuroo was captivated. He didn’t know eyes could be that color. The person the eyes were attached to did not shy away when Kuroo met their gaze, but Kuroo looked down immediately, a blush coloring his cheeks. He didn’t want to stop looking, but he felt frozen in place under that intense stare. It was overwhelming.
Kuroo’s dad reached to grab onto his hand, which was still clutching his shirt for dear life. He dragged Kuroo to stand in front of him, placing both hands on his shoulders.
“This is my son, Tetsurou. He’s a little shy at first, but I am sure they’ll get along great.”
The woman, Kozume-san, smiled down at him.
“Ah, yes that’s okay. It’s nice to meet you, Tetsurou-kun. This one is a bit shy too, actually.”
She pulled a similar maneuver as Kuroo’s dad and suddenly the owner of the golden eyes stood before him. The kid was a little shorter than Kuroo and had pin straight, shoulder-length hair. Golden Eyes was wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants. Kuroo took only a small glimpse at the outfit before he felt pulled back to those glowing irises. Though Kuroo wasn’t a talker, it was one of the first times he felt truly speechless—not even the voice in his head could muster a word.
“She’ll show Tetsurou around. Go on, baby.”
Kuroo was still staring back into those eyes, jolted out of his trance only when his dad leaned down to speak into his ear.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to be nervous because she’s a girl, Tetsu.” He winked at him and Kuroo scowled back at him. His dad knew he never cared about those things-- he had tried to play in the girl’s rec volleyball league because they had better snacks. Besides, this person looked different from any girl Kuroo knew. Different from anyone he knew, for that matter.
Crossing his arms, Kuroo turned back to his new neighbor. The mysterious, big-eyed stranger gestured to Kuroo to go upstairs. He followed, a pit in his stomach as he realized it would now be up to the two of them to do the talking. Situations like these often did not go well for Kuroo, who once sat with someone in silence for an hour, twiddling his fingers while the other kid tried desperately to keep up a conversation. He couldn’t imagine being able to say anything at all with those eyes staring at him.
She veered into a room on the left of the upstairs hallway, and the two stood there in silence. Kuroo’s eyes scanned the bedroom so that he could avoid melting under the molten stare of the room’s owner.
This room was much messier than the living room downstairs. It was still devoid of decorations except for a few posters of animated characters that Kuroo didn’t recognize. Every drawer was ajar with things spilling out the tops and sides. It looked like someone had shoved a bunch of random items into each one with no discernible order—one drawer had manga, clothes, and wires all haphazardly jammed into it. On the bed was a comforter covering lumps of different sizes and shapes underneath.
Kuroo finally glanced over at the slouched figure beside him to find that she was already looking at him. Kuroo swallowed. I guess I should say something.
“Uh… what are you looking at?” he squeaked out.
The person blinked for what seemed like the first time since Kuroo arrived.
“You have funny hair.”
Kuroo blushed a deep scarlet. It wasn’t the first time someone had made a comment about his hair, but he still didn’t like anyone calling attention to pretty much anything about him. His hands automatically went to his head, pushing down pieces that felt out of place as if that would magically get them to settle.
“I’m not saying it’s bad. It’s just funny.”
Kuroo slowly lowered his hands. I guess that is an accurate way to put it, he thought.
The stranger cocked her head. “Well I’m glad you agree, I guess.”
Kuroo blushed even harder. He had not meant to say that out loud. He looked down and started the usual twiddling of his fingers. Just because they were the same age did not mean they’d suddenly be friends. Stupid adults.
He heard a sigh beside him. “Well, they’ll probably force us to be up here for a while. Wanna play Virtua Fighter 4?”
Kuroo perked up. Having an activity always made this kind of thing easier. He nodded his head, probably a little too eagerly. Luckily, the girl didn’t say more, and handed Kuroo the controller. Kuroo sat on the floor and faced the TV, relieved to have an excuse to look away.
Luckily, Kuroo had played this game before, so he was able to stay alive for longer than 10 seconds. Which somehow was apparently even longer than the CPU lasted against the absolute gaming fiend sitting on the bed above him. Kuroo felt his lips tug into a smile as his avatar on the screen was continuously beaten to a pulp—he was just glad to have something to do. They were quiet as they played, but Kuroo didn’t feel the usual pressure to fill the silence.
Eventually, Kuroo’s dad called for him from downstairs. “Time to leave, Tetsurou!”
Kuroo reluctantly handed the controller back. I wish I could play more.
“You could come play more. If you wanted.”
Kuroo snapped his head up. Had he accidentally said his thoughts out loud again? His eyes met amber. Kuroo felt like he could drown in them if he looked for too long.
“Remind me of your name, I missed it.”
“Kuroo Tetsurou,” Kuroo whispered, as if it were a secret.
Her mouth twitched into a slight smile. Kuroo felt his own match it.
“Oh, uh…I also forgot your name.”
The girl hesitated for a moment, her smile fading. When she spoke, an unreadable expression colored her face. “Kozume is fine.”
Kuroo scrunched up his face in confusion. “That’s not fair. You know my first name.” He clapped his hands over his mouth. He did not mean to say that out loud either.
“Fine. I’ll just call you Kuroo.”
“That’s not how friends call each other,” Kuroo countered, the flush covering his face quickly spreading down to his chest. Kuroo realized in the back of his mind that these were the most words he’d spoken to someone his own age in what was quite possibly his entire life. He didn’t know where the words were coming from. Her magical eyes had to be bringing something out in him, there was no other explanation.
A look of mischief flickered in Kozume’s eyes. “Okay, then. I’ll call you Kuro. For your funny black hair.”
Kuroo considered this for a moment, taking in the new name. He had never been given a nickname before—it felt intimate. It was the first time Kuroo had something with a friend that was only theirs to have. Maybe the adults had been right. Kuroo made a mental note to think of a nickname for Kozume too.
“Okay,” he murmured. He couldn’t hold back the wide smile that overtook his face and shot it directly at his new friend.
Kozume stayed where she was sitting on her bed as Kuroo made his way out. He stopped by the door.
“Can I come play tomorrow?”
Kozume didn’t look over at him as she switched back to CPU mode, but Kuroo noticed the twitch at the corner of her mouth.
“Sure.”
Kuroo went to Kozume’s every day after that. His dad and his grandparents had jobs to go to during the day and school hadn’t started yet. It worked out well-- Kuroo genuinely had a good time playing video games with Kozume, and the relieved smile on Kuroo’s dad’s face when he came to pick him up after work made Kuroo feel like he was making him proud.
There was something nice about having a routine after moving so far from the home he knew, and Kozume never expected Kuroo to act or talk in a certain way like other kids did. They didn’t talk very much about their lives outside of the time they spent together, but Kuroo learned about Kozume through her games.
She loved fantasy games. Kuroo would listen, completely enraptured, as Kozume explained the entire plot of the recent one she had finished. Once, Kuroo had asked shyly if he could play one with her, and Kozume had shook her head.
“I wish. They would probably be more fun with another person, but they’re all single player games.”
Kuroo had matched her disappointment before realizing that he would probably have just as much fun watching Kozume play them as he would if he played them himself. It’s not like he was good at them anyways. When he offered to simply watch Kozume play, she looked at him with such pure joy that Kuroo decided to make it his entire life’s mission to make her look at him that way as much as possible. Getting to watch the interesting plots of the video games was just an added bonus.
Outside of the fantasy games, they mostly stuck to Virtua Fighter 4 despite the fact that Kozume had a lot of other games to play. Kuroo wasn’t bored though because it just meant he was getting better. It was almost as satisfying as practicing volleyball, how he could feel himself improving every day. Maybe Kozume was training him. Kuroo liked the thought—he felt he was earning his keep, slowly becoming a worthy opponent for her.
After two weeks straight of pretty much only playing video games in Kozume’s room, Kuroo started to get tired. Not of the company. Being with Kozume felt almost as easy as hanging out with his grandparents. Kozume still couldn’t compare to hanging out with his dad, but this was the first time that hanging out with someone his own age brought him any kind of comfort. But Kuroo’s legs were starting to hurt from sitting on the ground all the time. He was used to running around all summer, spending all of his time on the volleyball court or in the big backyard at his old house. He felt a pang in his chest at the memories.
He must have been spacing out more than usual today, because Kozume noticed. After their 3rd round of Virtua Fighter 4, where Kuroo only stayed alive for 15 seconds instead of his now-typical 30, she spoke up.
“Umm… we play this all the time. Is there anything else you wanna play instead?”
Kuroo stared back at her. Up until this point he had been content to just go along with whatever Kozume wanted to do—it was always a lot of fun. He wasn’t prepared to be given a choice. He racked his brain and there was really only one answer to what he wanted to play.
Kuroo swallowed away the anxiety of sharing something he liked to do with another person. He pointed to the door of Kozume’s room as he ran through it, sprinting down the steps and out the front door to get to his house. He was back in 30 seconds flat, only stopping to wave a quick hello to Kozume’s mom on his way back up.
He stilled outside the door and took a deep breath. His dad’s voice rang in his head: Sometimes you have to trust people to try things that you like, Tetsu. If you keep it all in your head then you’ll just be doing those things alone.
Kuroo steeled himself and put on a hesitant smile as he opened the door. Kozume’s face looked blank, if not a little pained. Cringing, Kuroo moved to hide the ball behind his back but froze when he heard a sigh.
“I was hoping it would be a video game, but I guess we can try it.”
Kuroo looked up in shock from where he’d locked eyes with the floor to see Kozume begrudgingly toss the controllers into the nearest drawer. She started to put her shoes on and Kuroo couldn’t contain his excitement as he bounced down the hallway. He knew his new friend would love it.
He hadn’t been wrong, but he hadn’t exactly been right either. As they played, it became increasingly apparent how rare it was for Kozume to actually move around. She became out of breath quickly and grumbled whenever the ball bounced too far away from their spot in the local park.
However, she was just as focused playing volleyball as she was when she played her fantasy games, staying quiet and listening intently as Kuroo taught her the basics he learned from his league back at his old home.
Kozume learned way faster than Kuroo had, using her dexterous fingers from hours of video games to push the ball high in the air. After just an hour of practice she could set the ball better than most of the people on his old team. She was a natural.
They played for about an hour before Kozume nearly collapsed while trying to receive a stray ball. Kuroo made a mental note to look out for any signs that she was pushing herself too far and made sure she drank lots of water when they got home.
Volleyball time became a part of their daily routine. Now, they would spend only a few hours in the morning playing games before heading outside. Kuroo didn’t even have to initiate—after their first time, he expected Kozume to want to take a few days’ break, but without fail she would pause her game around lunch time.
“Wanna go level up?”
Kuroo’s face always split into a grin, unable to hide any of his emotions from Kozume anymore. Her willingness to play volleyball with him felt like he was receiving a very special gift. When they played, he felt a tingle akin to when Kozume had first given him his nickname. This was something that was theirs. He had never had something special with another person his own age—maybe he had been missing out, keeping to himself all those years. Or maybe, he would have never felt this way if he hadn’t moved to Tokyo.
Every day he would come home for dinner around 17:00, clothes dirty and a volleyball tucked under his arm. His dad always greeted him with a grin, and after a couple days of their routine, he handed Kuroo a flyer.
“I found a co-ed volleyball league for kids your age that plays on Saturdays. You should ask Kozume if she wants to play with you!”
The possibility made Kuroo’s heart race in excitement, but he hesitated. He didn’t want to overwhelm Kozume by asking her to play for real. If he had learned anything from his failed attempts at friendship at his old school, not everyone wanted to play volleyball all the time like he did. He didn’t want Kozume to get bored of him yet.
The next day, it down-poured in the morning, sheets of rain pelting the window of Kozume’s room. Kuroo anticipated staying inside all day. Maybe Kozume would play one of her really long fantasy games for him to watch. Snuggled on the floor in a blanket that Kozume’s mom gave him, he watched as Kozume inserted a Zelda game, and sighed happily to himself.
Kuroo loved watching her play Zelda. She would tell him everything about the Zelda lore he knew nothing about. Sometimes, he wouldn’t even watch the screen, opting instead to just watch Kozume’s eyes light up when she spoke about Hyrule and the debates between fans about the official timeline of the series. Kozume’s favorite character was Link—he was the reason she wanted to grow out her hair.
He didn’t even realize that 4 hours had gone by until Kozume paused the game and looked over at him. If she noticed that Kuroo had only watched the actual screen about half the time, she didn’t let on.
“Looks like the rain stopped. Wanna go level up?”
Kuroo’s eyes widened a bit. He hadn’t expected Kozume to be willing to get muddy. He nodded at her neutral expression and shed his blanket.
As they had for weeks, they passed through Kozume’s kitchen, where her mom already had their sandwiches wrapped for travel. Kuroo’s initial impression that she looked like his 1st grade teacher had actually been close to the truth, but she was actually a teacher for kids in college. She was on school break like them, which meant she was always around.
Kuroo liked Kozume’s mom. She was very relaxed and only “disciplined” Kozume by asking her questions instead of yelling like Kuroo’s dad did when he got overwhelmed. Kuroo thought he would have liked the questions method, but Kozume looked just as dejected as Kuroo did when he got punished after just a simple question about why she was acting in a way she shouldn’t.
Kozume’s mom glanced up at them from her laptop as they passed her office. “Have fun, you two!”
Kuroo turned around to give her a little wave and caught her soft smile as she looked at them.
“Oh, and Tetsurou-kun, you’re staying for dinner tonight. Your dad has to work late and your grandparents are visiting friends for the evening.”
Kuroo nodded. His stomach flipped a little with anxiety and excitement—he’d never been at the Kozume’s past daylight hours. He wondered what they usually ate for dinner.
“My dad usually cooks. Sometimes it’s really good and sometimes it’s really bad. He gets suggestions from his students so it depends on their taste,” Kozume said, reading Kuroo’s mind as usual.
Kuroo hummed as they walked toward the park, volleyball tucked under his arm. They took their time since Kuroo didn’t need to be home by dinner time anymore.
Kozume introduced Kuroo to a stray cat that she had named Yuki. “You know, since her fur is white like the snow.”
Kuroo grinned as Kozume stroked her chin, the cat purring in her hands.“If it was a black cat, would you have named it Kuro?”
It was his attempt at a joke, and he expected Kozume to roll her eyes at him, but instead she smiled softly as she continued to pet Yuki.
“Maybe. But I already know a Kuro, so that might be confusing.”
Kuroo blushed. He wasn’t much of a cat person, but he felt himself warming up to this one in particular just at the way Kozume was looking at her.
They got exceptionally muddy at the park, Kuroo giggling maniacally every time the ball bounced in the mud, doubling over when it splashed on his playmate. Kozume was less grumpy about it than Kuroo expected her to be, even snickering when Kuroo slipped trying to receive. After brushing himself off, Kuroo decided to use the soft mud as a cushion to teach Kozume to drop to a knee for tough receives.
“See, you watch the ball and make sure to get under it like this!”
Kozume mimicked his movements perfectly, immediately catching on.
“That’s amazing, Kozu!” Kuroo exclaimed.
It wasn’t until the words were out of his mouth that he realized he had unwittingly used the nickname he started using for Kozume in his head. He blushed, but Kozume didn’t seem to notice. Instead, she quietly went to pick up the ball and looked at Kuroo quizzically.
“What?” he asked.
She shook her head. “So you do know how to talk. I thought you were just the silent type.”
Kuroo looked down and blushed. “Well, it’s easy with you I guess.”
Kozume shook her head in bewilderment again and replied only by setting him the ball for more volleying practice.
They decided to end early when Kozume fully slipped in the mud and knocked the wind out of herself. Kuroo stooped down to give her a hand up, but immediately fell beside her when she gave him 0 help in lifting her back up. Kuroo’s whole body shook with laughter as he felt the cold mud seep into every part of his body not already covered in dirt.
He felt Kozume shaking beside him and realized she was laughing too. Kuroo splayed his arms out at his sides and made a mud angel. He hadn’t felt this happy in a long time.
When they finally got up, it was starting to get dark. The walk back started in their usual silence, but Kuroo felt anything but awkward. He felt full and very lucky. He never dreamed he would find a friend who understood him like Kozume did. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice Kozume stop until he heard her say his name behind him.
“Hey, Kuro?”
“Yeah?”
“Um…why don’t you find other people to play with?”
Kuroo spun around to look at her, not bothering to hold back the shock on his face. Did she realize how ridiculous that suggestion was?
“I mean, playing volleyball with a newbie like me has to be boring.”
Kuroo felt himself shaking his head before he could even process the words. They were so outrageous that he had no idea how to respond.
Panicked, he said, “Nuh uh, nope, playing with you isn’t boring at all! You learn quickly and you’re super smart and…and you’re just fun to be around, okay!”
Kozume looked taken aback but didn’t push further. She whispered a small “okay” and kept walking. Kuroo stared after her for a while and had to run to catch up to her when he snapped out of his daze.
He swallowed and tugged on Kozume’s arm when he caught up. She stopped to turn to him.
“H-hey,” he said, out of breath. “Um… do you have free time this Saturday?”
Kozume blinked. “I can ask my mom. Why?”
Kuroo swallowed and looked down. “Um, there’s a, uh- volleyball league my dad says we both could join. If you want to come.”
After a beat of silence, Kuroo looked back up and met Kozume’s intense golden eyes. They were unreadable, but Kuroo felt she could see every part of him, even the parts of himself that felt so hard to explain to others. He realized that he didn’t need to say them out loud for her to understand them. Maybe she was seeing how nervous he was to ask and how important this was to him.
“Nevermind, it’s fi-” he started, trying to pull away from her gaze before she grabbed his arm.
“Sure.”
She let go and started walking again to her house. Kuroo couldn’t help the grin that split his face.
He never wanted to stop playing volleyball with his new friend Kozume.