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It's tuesday.
Eliott walks in and searches the classroom.
He's already there, head hanging low, scribbling something to his journal.
Good.
Eliott takes a couple short steps and sits down at the desk next to Lucas´. Lucas doesn´t look up, he keeps his focus down on the page. Eliott can't see what he's doing there - if he's writing or drawing or whatever else. He's on the boy´s right side and Lucas is right-handed, so his hand is blocking the view even when Eliott leans closer to catch a glimpse.
He rests his back to the chair, looking around the class. Classmates are getting ready for the lesson, the teacher is not here yet, but he will be any second. Eliott quickly thinks - what he should say or do to get something from Lucas, some reaction, a gaze, smirk, anything .
(He´ll never admit to anyone - and especially not to himself - that this is the main reason why he's doing that. Why he's doing all of that.)
“Good morning everyone,” Mr. Boullard arrives in the classroom and closes the door behind him.
Shit.
Too late.
Fuck it.
“Hey, loser,” Eliott whispers and leans a little closer to Lucas over the thin space between their desks. Lucas looks up and around until his eyes find Eliott´s. Eliott doesn't know if he should be happy or sad that Lucas Lallemant actually hears at this nickname. Loser. It's all Eliott´s doing, so why should he feel bad, now? It's him who calls him like that since their first lesson together. It's been like that for months.
Eliott doesn't even remember the reason for it…
Lucas is not smiling, he's not frowning, his expression is pretty neutral, like always. There are dark circles under his big eyes, but that's nothing unusual about him, either.
“Look at this cool trick I just learned,” Eliott says and takes a pen, tries to wiggle it between his finger up and down, but he must fuck up, somehow, because the pen flies out of his hand and hits Idriss to his head. Eliott feels his cheeks getting warm. Fuck. He needs to save it, save the situation, somehow. “Um… so I can't actually.. do the trick, but-”
Unexpected noise interrupts him and Eliott´s eyes shoot to Lucas´ face. Did he really just-
Oh.
Yeah, he laughed .
It wasn't even a laugh, it was a short giggle, most likely, barely there and gone again. But the amused smile on Lucas´ face lasts, he's looking at Eliott, soundlessly laughing. Eliott stares for a bit. He's never seen Lucas like that. He's never seen him smile, not even a little bit. His whole face is different. Eyes sparkle, nose crinkle, his cheeks have fucking dimples! And his teeth are white.
Lucas covers his mouth with his hand, looking at Idriss, who holds the pen now, looking around for the source of the throw.
“Look at that,” Eliott whispers to Lucas, grinning like a winner. “So you can laugh,” he says and Lucas´ smile immediately fades away. He looks back to his desk, then up to the teacher. Eliott leans closer to Lucas. Lucas is stubbornly staring ahead, hands gripping the edges of his desk. “Cute,” Eliott whispers there before leaning away, opening his journal.
He's cute.
…
It's thursday.
Eliott walks through the hallway, when he sees them.
Something's happening there.
There´s Lucas with his back facing Eliott, but in front of him are three guys from the football team - Eliott never bothered to remember their names - and their faces don't look friendly.
Eliott goes closer.
“Come on, dude, don´t be a sucker. Just this one time,” one of them says.
“You said that the last time. And the time before,” Lucas says. Eliott doesn't remember if he ever heard him speak.
“It's just homework, it's not a big deal,” the boy says again.
“It is a big deal when I didn't sleep for four days to finish it,” Lucas says. “And you would just copy it. Like it's nothing.”
The boy groans. “Don´t be a bitch,” he says and rips the blue file from Lucas´ hands.
“Hey!” Lucas reaches his hands to take it back but the two assholes shove him to his chest so he stumbles backwards.
Eliott has seen enough.
He steps closer until he's right behind Lucas and points the most murderous look at those three, especially at the dipshit in the middle, holding Lucas´ file. They look up at him.
“Give it back to me,” says Lucas, who doesn´t notice Eliott just yet. Eliott keeps staring at the dude, unblinking, raises an eyebrow at him.
“Fine, keep it, loser,” the boy mutters and throws the file at Lucas before walking away together with his two clones.
Lucas looks after them for a moment before turning back to his locker and bumping into Eliott with the motion.
“Watch out, would you?” Eliott snaps automatically.
Lucas looks up at him. “Sorry,” he mumbles, shuts his locker, then looks at Eliott again, who realizes he still stands there, like an idiot.
“What´re you looking at?” Eliott doesn't wait for an answer and walks away.
…
It's monday.
Two weeks later.
Eliott missed a couple days in school and right after his comeback, the universe decided to throw stones on him.
First, Idriss.
“Oh c´mon, man, they don't have to know,” Idriss says.
“They always know!” Eliott throws his arms. “And almost always because of you! Because you do something and go viral with it.”
“Don´t be such a mama's boy, Eliott, it's just me and a few other people,” Idriss says like it means nothing to him.
“I told you, I'm done with it,” Eliott says. “I'm done with parties in my place. Someone always breaks something.”
Idriss sighs, annoyed.
“And it's never a few people, it starts at ten and ends with hundred,” Eliott adds.
Idriss would say something more, but then professor Milliére peeks out of her classroom. “Oh, Mr. Demaury,” she calls out for Eliott. “Come on in for a minute, would you?”
Eliott walks to her, happy he doesn't have to continue in this talk with Idriss.
But then, when she starts talking, Eliott wants to run away.
“Mr. Demaury,” she says. “Eliott.” Eliott stands there, waiting. “I want to talk to you about your grades.”
Eliott frowns. “What do you mean?” he´s confused because he´s trying so hard this school year. And he actually thinks it´s going pretty damn good.
“I´m talking about your history class.”
Oh. Shit.
“You´re doing so good in every other class of yours, I´m actually very pleased with your - I would say - excellent results. But history seems like a bigger issue for you, am I right?”
“Uh.. I… It´s nothing I can´t work at and be better,” Eliott says in hurry.
“I´m sure about it…,” professor nods and purses her lips. “I wouldn´t even talk about it you´d have history for one semester… but there are three more of history class in front of you.”
“I know.”
“Alright, so, what are you saying is that everything is under controll, then?” she smiles at Eliott like she doesn´t believe a single word he says but plays blind because of his sake. She´s pretty woman in her 40´s, and happens to be Eliott´s consultor.
“Yes,” Eliott says, trying to sound as sure as never about anything. “One hundred percent under control.”
He storms out of the classroom and out of the building. There's no one in the yard.
“Fuck!” Eliott growls and kicks the bikestand and two bicycles on the end of the row fall to the side.
Eliott sighs and goes to sit on the bench, exhales a long breath.
“Bad day?” someone says and Eliott snaps to the side only to see Lucas there, leaning to the building wall, a book in his hand, sandwich in the other one.
Double fuck.
Eliott looks away without answering, rubs his face with his palms, then slips his fingers to his hair and tugs for the strands.
"What's going on?" Lucas asks again and when Eliott looks at him one more time, his book is closed, sandwich wrapped in the napkin and Lucas peels himself off the wall to steps closer to Eliott.
"Why do you think I would tell you?” Eliott mutters. “You could use it against me."
"Why would I do that?" Lucas frowns, confused, coming to sit on the other end of the bench.
Eliott shrugs. "Revenge..."
Bullshit. Eliott knows Lucas is not that kind of a person.
They are silent for a moment. Lucas keeps looking at him. Eliott keeps trying not to look back.
"Who would believe me?" Lucas asks then.
Eliott´s eyes snap to him themselves. Lucas sits there, his expression neutral like always, but his eyes are honest and interested.
True… everyone - who would care enough to listen - would think that Lucas is only trying to avenge Eliott for mocking him to death every day.
Eliott feels even worse. He did that. He did that to Lucas.
He made him the loser in other people's eyes. Not everyone, but some of them. Which is way more than it should be.
He sighs, feeling like shit.
“My friend is pissing me off,” Eliott admits half of the truth. But honestly, he forgot about Idriss the moment he stepped to the classroom. He has no clue how to pass history class. He sucks in history. He can't remember dates, years, names, countries, kings and queens and pacts… he was never good at that. He doesn't know what to do now.
“And?”
“And what?” Eliott frowns.
Lucas shrugs. “You wouldn't be this upset with only one of your friends being an ass, would you?” Eliott almost snorts at that. “There´s something else, isn't it?”
“What are you, a therapist?” Eliott shuffles on the bench.
“Just not blind,” Lucas says.
Eliott considers it.
He could tell him, of course. He could tell him.
Then there will be something between them, always, something silent, but they both would know. Every time Lucas would look at him, Eliott would see in his eyes that Lucas knows his secret. That Lucas knows something personal, something what don´t even Eliott´s friends know about him.
And Eliott would lose his damn mind overthinking it.
No, thank you.
“It´s nothing,” Eliott says.
“Are you sure? Maybe I could help you, if you-”
“It´s nothing!” Eliott shouts at him. Lucas stops talking with his mouth half open. Eliott feels stressed out from the talk with professor and now he feels frustrated because he keeps being fucking asshole to everyone else - mostly Lucas, just because he CAN. Because Lucas is THERE.
Lucas, who closes his mouth now and looks away.
“Goddammit,” Eliott mutters under his breath and leaves as fast as he can.
…
It's wednesday.
Eliott figures out what Lucas is always scribbling in his journal.
He's drawing.
He's drawing little mushrooms, all over those pages. Mushrooms.
Eliott actually found out with a huge ass coincidence.
Lucas was rushing out of the classroom where they sit next to each other, and his journal fell off his desk to the ground, open on the page full of little drawings.
Eliott picked it up and looked at it. It's pretty, actually. It's cute. Such a small simple thing.
The journal´s been snapped out of his hands. “Thanks,” Lucas mumbles and storms out of the classroom.
…
It's friday.
Eliott sees Lucas in the morning and he's actually pretty shocked with the scene.
Lucas walks through the main entrance to the hallway, looking disheveled - more than other times, his face is pale and circles darker. And there's the guy who wanted to steal his homework a few weeks ago. He's smirking and saying something to Lucas, calling after him. Eliott automatically goes closer, but Lucas quickly turns and shoves that dude against a wall with his forearm over the guy's chest.
“Not today,” Eliott thinks he hears Lucas saying. “Please. Just- Not today.”
Eliott and everyone else are staring at Lucas as he releases the guy´s jacket and walks through the hallway without a second glance.
Eliott gets this feeling that something is wrong.
Not only Lucas seems to avoid him since the talk on the bench (Eliott can´t blame him, really, he acts like an asshat) but Lucas also looks pretty roughed.
*
So.
Eliott waits for him. He hides and waits for him.
Ah, there he goes.
Eliott peeks out of the barely-open door and when Lucas comes closer, closer, closer , he's almost there, and now he's walking by, Eliott opens the door, grabs Lucas´ hand and pulls him inside.
“What the-,” Lucas starts but shuts up when he sees Eliott in front of him. Eliott shuts the door behind them. Now there's no light from the hallway, so the only light in the cabinet is coming from the small window at the ceiling.
Lucas is watching him, up and down.
Eliott smirks. “Like what you see?”
“You-you literally drag me in here.”
“I like what I see, too.”
“What?” Lucas shifts his bag on his shoulder.
“I mean in the mirror.” No, he doesn't.
Lucas sighs. “What do you want?”
“Just to talk.”
“In the cleaning lady's cabinet?”
“Why not?”
Realization falls over Lucas´ features.
“Oh. I get it.”
“You do?”
“Yeah… you just don't want anyone to see you talking to me.”
Oh.
Um.
No. Eliott didn't think about this at all. He couldn't care less about other people.
He looks at Lucas, for real this time. His eyelashes are darker than other times and so are the circles under his eyes. He looks disheveled, like in the morning.
“Are you okay?” Eliott asks and when Lucas blinks at him, in disbelief of hearing this question from Eliott, he realizes that his eyelashes are not actually darker, they are wet. “What happened?”
“Why do you care?”
Right. “Lucas-”
Lucas makes an attempt to open the door and leave but Eliott shoots his arm in front of him and moves to stand in the only way out. “Let me out,” Lucas says.
“No until you tell me what happened. Was it that asshole again? The one who wanted your homework the other day? What did he do to you? I'm gonna kill him I swear-”
“No,” Lucas says, looking down at his feet.
“No what? It wasn't him? So who? Tell me.”
“Nothing happened,” Lucas doesn't meet his eyes, still staring down.
“Something obviously did,” Eliott points out. He doesn't know why he cares so much. He doesn't know why he dragged Lucas here, what he wanted from him, in the first place. (He knows. He knows, of course he knows. It´s not about stupid reaction, not anymore. There's more to it. Maybe it's because Eliott can't stop thinking about Lucas when he lays in bed at night, trying to sleep. Maybe it's just that.)
“Nothing happened,” Lucas repeats but his voice breaks on the last syllable. He brings his hand up to cover his eyes, then he leans to the wall and slides down to sit on the floor.
“Lucas-”
“Leave me alone,” he mumbles. He's crying, most probably. Eliott kneels in front of him.
“Hey,” he says, his voice soft - it takes him aback, because he doesn't remember his voice ever sounded like that. “What's going on?”
“You´re literally the last person I´d tell that,” Lucas digs his palms to his eyes. “You´d find a way how to use it against me, five minutes later.”
Right. Eliott deserves that. He's an asshole.
“I´m...I´m sorry,” he says. It's so quiet that he's not sure Lucas heard him.
But then, Lucas lifts his head to stare at him with wide eyes.
“Excuse me - what?”
“I´m sorry,” Eliott repeats, forcing himself to not look away. “I´m sorry, for everything. For being a fucking asshole, for, um… hurting you. Basically every day.”
Lucas stares. “Is this a trick?”
“No.”
“Is there a hidden camera?” Lucas looks around the room. “Are your friends watching this from somewhere and laughing at my stupidity?”
“No!” Eliott frowns. “No, I mean it!”
They´re quiet for a minute or two. Eliott doesn't know what to say. It´s Lucas who breaks the silence eventually.
“Wait, how did you know about the time when Daniel wanted my homework?”
Oh fuck oh shit.
“Um-”
“You were there?” Lucas asks and his eyes widen. “I bumped into you!”
“I… I didn´t-”
Lucas clicks his tongue. “I knew he wouldn't give it back to me just like that by himself,” he shakes his head.
Eliott doesn't say anything. He doesn't know if Lucas is upset about it, too.
Lucas takes a deep breath and holds it inside for a few seconds.
“My dad left and mom is upset,” he says, voice quiet and small, full of hidden emotions. “Seeing her upset because of him is making me angry.”
“I´m sorry,” Eliott says when Lucas doesn't continue. “That sucks.”
“Hm…,” Lucas rubs his eyes again. “I know she'll feel better with time, because he was a dick and so mean to her and me all the time... but right now it´s not very good…”
So, Lucas was going through this personal shit the whole time and then he went to school and there was Eliott screaming “hey, loser!” at him.
Is there a hole Eliott can jump into and bury himself alive?
“Noone deserves that…,” Eliott says, and he´s talking about Lucas´ dad, about his behaviour to him, about everything in this fucking world. “Is there something, anything, I can do for you?”
Lucas looks at him, eyes full of surprise. Then he snorts an unhappy laugh. “I already feel like I signed my soul to a devil.”
…
It's sunday.
All Eliott thinks about the whole weekend is Lucas.
From now on, he can blame him, Lucas, for failing his classes.
There are his history notes and textbooks all over his bed, Eliott sits in the centre of this mess, but what he does is scribbling little mushrooms to the side of each page and thinks about sad blue eyes and secret smile he's never really seen.
Eliott thinks he might be in love.
…
It's wednesday.
This week has been strange so far. Lucas is there, Eliott is there, and there´s something between them, something going on between them every time they pass each other in the hallway or that one class when they sit next to each other.
They didn't say hi, they didn't really talk, but there´s something.
Something silent, unspoken.
It drives Eliott crazy. He doesn't know if he's the only one who feels it, or if there´s something on Lucas´ side, as well.
God help him.
He's in love.
…
It´s thursday.
Eliott can´t find Lucas anywhere. He wasn´t in the class they share, he´s not to be seen in hallways.
This is weird. Lucas never skips school. It didn´t happen, ever.
Eliott thinks he´s going to go to Lucas´ friend, Yann, and ask him about it. But when Eliott finally finds Yann, around noon, he´s on the phone and Eliott hears what he´s saying.
“Dude, this is just your fortune, end up like this,” Yann´s saying. “Do you need anything, Lucas?”
Eliott steps closer.
“Okay, call me if anything, yeah? Bye.”
He ends the call and Eliott is there.
“Where´s Lucas?” he asks without saying hello. He should really learn some good manners.
“What the fuck-”
Yann stares at him, taken aback. Eliott needs answers, now. He could, theoretically, beat the info out of him, if he wanted… but today, he just tries to ask nicely.
"WHERE IS LUCAS?!?" Eliott shouts out.
"What the hell, man…?" Yann is still confused and now a little annoyed.
"What happened? Is he okay?"
"Why do you care? Aren't you the one who keeps bullying him for nothing?"
"I just- care! Okay? I care! Is he okay?" Eliott pleads.
Yann probably notices how wrecked Eliott is and that he's not, in fact, kidding about it.
"Yeah, he's fine… he's in the hospital, he had an accident at home, but he's alright,” Yann shoves his phone to the pocket, stepping backwards away from Eliott.
"What accident?" Eliott demands, his heart is racing.
"Um...I don't know, he fell..? He fell down the stairs."
Eliott runs out of school and hurries to the nearest hospital.
He finds Lucas, eventually. It took him so long that he started to feel himself losing his damn mind. Lucas is lying on bed in black jeans and sweatshirt. He's alone, blue ugly curtains all around the bed. He holds an ice pack over his hand, another on his shoulder of the same arm, and there's a red and purple spot on his forehead.
“Lucas,” Eliott says once he's there, sitting on the chair next to his bed.
“What.. what the hell are you doing here?” Lucas frowns at him and winces right after.
“I came to see you,” Eliott says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
Lucas is staring at him. “How do you even know I'm here?”
“I have my sources…,” Eliott coughs, ignoring Lucas´ doubting look. “When we´re at that - why are you here? What happened?”
Lucas sighs and closes his eyes.
“Hey..”
“I don´t understand a single thing, and especially why are you like this, lately, when you were like…. that… before…,” Lucas doesn't look at Eliott at all while he's speaking.
“I already said I´m sorry for that,” Eliott says. “For the before.”
“Yeah, kinda still think you were mocking me,” Lucas mumbles.
“I wasn´t.”
Lucas looks at him, finally. Eliott thinks about how vulnerable he looks right now. He looks like a little boy. He looks like the first time Eliott called him a loser and Lucas didn't have any comeback, he just stood there, embarrassed blush in his cheeks and none of it made Eliott feel good. He doesn't know why he did that, all those times, he doesn't know till now.
He did it because he could. Because Lucas let him. Because he didn't talk back, ever.
“I was late for school, was rushing from my room and fell down the stairs,” Lucas says then. “It's embarrassing as hell, because I stumbled over my own feet.”
“Are you okay?” Eliott asks. “Is it broken?” he nods to Lucas´ hand under the ice pack.
“Doctor said it´s just sprained.”
“Good, wouldn't like to miss your little mushrooms,” Eliott grins at him and goes all warm inside when one of the corners of Lucas´ lips just go up. “What about the head?”
“It's nothing,” Lucas says. It's obviously something.
But before Eliott can say more, there's a doctor coming, holding a clipboard in his hand.
“So, Mr. Lallemant,” he smiles at Lucas. “CT showed no signs of concussion or any head injury, which is good. Now, you need to be honest with me, because we don't want to let you go with any possible medical problem, except what is obvious,” he gestures to Lucas´ hand and forehead. “What else hurts?”
Lucas checks himself from feet to chest, then looks sideways to Eliott for a second.
“Sort of everything?” he looks at the doctor.
“Everything hurts?”
“Yeah…,” Lucas frowns. “But I just fell down the stairs. It's quite normal I´d have a couple bruises, right?”
“Right. I'll check you up once more before I´ll let you go, just to be sure.” He looks at Eliott, still talking to Lucas. “Is this a family member?”
“Um, no.. it's uh-”
“His future boyfriend,” Eliott says before Lucas can think about something. “Eliott,” he holds his hand to the doctor to shake, but then he realizes it's probably not very common and he pulls his hand back. Lucas is staring at Eliott, blushing adorably. Eliott smiles at him.
“Well then,” the doctor chuckles. “Congratulations, Eliott, but I have to kindly ask you to wait outside while I check your… while I check Mr. Lallemant.”
“Right, of course,” Eliott says and stands up, then caresses Lucas´ hair and leans down to press a kiss into them. “I´ll be right behind the curtains, baby,” he says to him and walks away, leaving Lucas in even bigger shock than he was before.
He's cute.
*
“So, everything is alright?”
“Yeah, all good,” Lucas says, now sitting on the bed with a brace on his hand which holds his whole arm pressed to his chest. It looks even more serious than with the ice pack.
“So you can go home now?” Eliott asks.
“Yes.”
“May I take you?”
“What?”
“Can I take you home?” Eliott asks, stepping closer to the bed.
Lucas rolls his eyes and sighs. “Why?”
“Because I arrived by car… and because I´d like to take you home,” Eliott shrugs. He decided it's time to throw all the fucks out of the window and just say what he's thinking at the moment. It's much easier to breathe, he notices.
Lucas shakes his head. “Okay then… thanks.”
“No problem,” Eliott leans closer, slips his arms around Lucas´ back and under his knees and lifts him up from the bed.
“Hey!” Lucas panics and wraps his free arm around Eliott´s neck to hold on. Good. “My legs are totally fine!”
“But you're in pain from the fall,” Eliott says unbothered and starts walking down the hospital hall.
“I can walk on my own,” Lucas argues.
“Your body is sore.”
“I'm fine .”
“Let me take you home,” Eliott looks into his eyes. He´s so close like this, few centimetres between their faces. Lucas takes a deep breath.
“You can take me home, you don't have to carry me home,” he grumbles.
“But I want to.”
Lucas narrows his eyes at him. “What are you? A knight in shining armor?"
“Depends… can I be yours?” Eliott enjoys this. Lucas in his arms, he means. He doesn´t weight much. He´s not heavy and Eliott can carry him without a pause to catch a breath or without a break for a rest. Lucas doesn´t respond to Eliott´s question, maybe because he´s too busy trying not to blush.
Eliott carefully and unwillingly drops Lucas to his feet once they´re at his car. He opens the door and holds it for Lucas who shakes his head but mumbles a quiet thanks .
*
“Where is your mom?” Eliott asks when he realizes that the house is empty.
“He´s at the work trip for a week,” Lucas says. “Maybe longer.”
Eliott looks around.
The house is pretty, not so big but not so small, nice, cozy, warm.
“I should probably stay the night… you´re home alone and you still could have a concussion.”
Lucas stares at him. "You really don't have to."
"I think I should,” Eliott insists.
"I'm an adult. I can take care of myself,” Lucas stands his ground.
Eliott wants to protest but then he stops himself because another thought pops up in his mind. "Who called an ambulance?"
"What?"
"Who called an ambulance when you're home alone?"
"I did."
"You?"
"Yes..," Lucas shrugs with one shoulder and when he looks at Eliott's quizzical face, he sighs. "I was on the ground and could barely move, so I panicked and called an ambulance - the phone was in my pocket."
Eliott stares at him.
Lucas rolls his eyes. "I was probably in shock, because I wouldn't call for a sprained wrist or shoulder. It was before. Look, now I'm okay." He looks like a kicked puppy, to Eliott.
"I'm gonna stay with you tonight," Eliott decided. "And you're not going to school tomorrow, day off. Doctor's order."
"You're not a doctor."
"No, but your doctor told me that at the hospital."
"You're making this up," Lucas narrows his eyes.
Eliott is making it up. But he'll be damned to admit it. "Absolutely not. He congratulated me on being your future boyfriend and told me to keep you home to rest for tomorrow and the weekend."
Lucas is watching him for a few more seconds, then shakes his head. "You're so full of shit."
*
"I'm gonna make us some food, yeah?" Eliott says when Lucas lies to his bed because Eliott insists he needs to rest. They both changed into sweatpants (Eliott has half of his closet in his car - don´t ask him why, he just likes to be sure to have something clean and dry to change into in some situations) to be more comfortable and then they made some tea, Lucas´ steaming mug is on the bedside table.
"Suit yourself," Lucas says and sighs when he settles his head on the fluffy pillow. “I can´t care enough to think about you stealing something. Just take whatever you want.”
Eliott huffs and shakes his head. “In that case, I would just steal you.”
Lucas´ eyes snap to him and he blushes again before mumbling “Shut up.”
Eliott grins. “I'm gonna make some sandwiches.”
He goes to the kitchen. It's stocked good, the fridge is full. ("Mom likes me to have everything when she's out of town," Lucas says when Eliott asks him about it later.)
He takes out some cheese and ham and butter and lettuce and tomatoes from the fridge, then he cuts the bread on the counter and makes two sandwiches for both of them.
Lucas looks like he´s half-asleep when Eliott comes back to his room.
Eliott´s head is so full of him that he has no time to think about this situation. About him being in Lucas´ house. About him using his kitchen and walking around like it´s common thing for them.
Whatever. He´ll think about it later.
They eat in silence for a minute or two. Lucas looks tired.
“I don´t know if you should sleep,” Eliott thinks aloud. “If it is a concussion, sleep could be dangerous because of possible head injuries.”
Lucas stops chewing to blink his tired eyes at him. “Um, sorry - did I miss something? Did you become a doctor and I don´t know about it?”
Eliott shrugs without any shame. “I´m worried.”
Lucas finishes one of his sandwiches and puts the plate on the nightstand, then gets off bed.
“Where are you going?” Eliott asks.
“Brush my teeth so I can go to sleep,” Lucas says without looking back and leaves the room.
Alone in Lucas´ room, Eliott feels a little inappropriate. With him? He feels amazing.
Lucas comes back and slips under his blanket.
“What are you doing?” Eliott asks.
“Oh, right,” Lucas gets up again and pulls another blanket from under the bed, hands it to Eliott together with one pillow from his bed. “Here.”
Eliott takes it and Lucas goes back to bed.
“Thank you…,” Eliott says softly.
“You can sleep wherever you want,” Lucas says. “There´s a couch downstairs in the living room. Or you can go to any room you want and sleep in any bed - except my mom´s. Or you can go home and sleep there, which would make much more sense than-,” Lucas waves his hand in a circle in Eliott´s direction, “-whatever this is.”
“Lucas.”
“Good night.”
“You can't sleep!” Eliott comes closer to bed with a blanket and pillow in his arms. He wonders if the pillow smells like Lucas. “There´s possibility of injury-”
“Yeah, I´m gonna risk it,” Lucas says with closed eyes, arm in the brace on his stomach, blanket pulled up to his chest.
Eliott´s watching him for few more seconds, then looks around the room. There´s a couch in the corner of Lucas´ room. Eliott goes there and throws the blanket and pillow on it before going to turn off the light and close the door, then he settles to the couch to sleep.
It´s a small couch, more like double seat than a real couch. But he doesn't care a bit.
“What are you doing?” Lucas´ voice asks in the darkness.
“Sleeping.”
“Here?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“You may be willing to risk it, but I'm not,” Eliott says. “I'm gonna stay here and look after you.”
Eliott hears Lucas´ exasperated sigh. “Oh my god,” he whispers under his breath. Eliott grins to himself.
He's in love.
(The pillow smells like Lucas.)
…
It's friday.
Eliott wakes up super early. Earlier than when he's getting up for school. He gets up from the couch and goes to the bed, where Lucas is still sleeping, hugging his injured arm with his other one, hair all over the pillow, lips half open.
He really is beautiful.
He was always beautiful.
Maybe that´s why Eliott wanted some reaction from him, all those time he insulted him, however stupid it was. He just couldn't believe that a boy as pretty as Lucas just never talked back. Never told Eliott to fuck off.
Lucas doesn't look like he's going to wake up any time soon, so Eliott slips out of the room, then out of the house. The ride to his house is not long, and he drives fast. He doesn´t want for Lucas to think he just ran away.
No way Eliott would do it.
He just doesn't feel up to shower in Lucas´ place. And he needs a shower. And a toothbrush. And few other things.
When he drives back, he feels much better, not only because he´ll see Lucas´ soon, but also because he smells better now and looks better, too.
Lucas sits in the living room and when Eliott enters the house, his head shoots up. Something runs across his face but it´s gone before Eliott can name it. He's watching Eliott come closer with two cups in his hands.
“Here you go,” Eliott says and hands him one cup. He stopped by a coffee shop on his way here.
“I don't drink coffee,” Lucas says.
“That's why it´s hot chocolate,” Eliott smiles at Lucas and sits next to him on the couch, puts his bag on the floor.
“Oh,” Lucas takes the cup. “Um.. thanks.”
“You´re welcome,” Eliott says and sips from his own cup. He realizes there´s soft indie music playing in the background. He feels Lucas´ eyes on himself.
“What?” Eliott asks.
“You… you came back,” Lucas mumbles, almost like he doesn't want to say it at all.
“What, did you think I´m just gonna fuck off in the morning? Without saying a word?” Eliott raises his eyebrows at Lucas. He wouldn't do that.
Lucas shrugs with one shoulder. “I wouldn't be surprised, we´re not even friends.”
Eliott nods and purses his lips. “We're more than that.”
Lucas scoffs and hides behind his cup, looking away. He's probably blushing again.
Cute.
“So,” Eliott puts the cup on the coffee table. “What is your plan for today? You know that you can forget about school - it's a rest day today.”
“You can't stop me,” Lucas says, chins up.
“Hmm… I think I could, if I had to,” Eliott grins. “Come on, Lucas. One day.”
“I´m gonna study, then,” Lucas says, putting the cup down.
“Okay,” Eliott opens his bag and pulls out his history textbook and journal and his laptop. He's not surprised Lucas said that. He came prepared.
“What is that?” Lucas frowns when he's watching Eliott.
“My school stuff. Study session, let's go!”
Lucas shakes his head. “You're such a fool.”
“I know.”
Lucas sits on the couch with his notes and laptop, Eliott sits on the carpet to the coffee table.
They study in silence for a while, the music is soft and not disturbing at all, and it feels nice. It feels so domestic, Eliott wants to get lost at this moment.
“Hey,” Lucas says after some time.
“Hm?” Eliott doesn't look up.
“Why were you upset that one time?”
Eliott automatically knows what time he means. “I´m failing my history class,” he answers without hesitation. He feels like he wants to trust Lucas with this. Somewhere deep inside he knows that Lucas would keep it safe, this little secret. All his secrets, actually.
“Is it bad?”
“I have to get better as soon as possible to pass it this semester. Or even this year.”
They´re quiet for a few seconds. Then Lucas says “Want some help with that?”
Eliott´s head snaps up to look at him. “You know history?”
“Yes.”
“But… I don't recall you from my classes.” He would know.
“I take evening history classes. I didn't have a space for it in my schedule during the day.”
Shit.
He's beautiful AND smart. And nice, offering this to Eliott.
“I don't want to bother you…,” Eliott starts to saying but Lucas looks at him, unimpressed.
“Since when?”
Eliott laughs. Fair enough. Lucas almost smiles. Almost. There´s a shadow of a smile in the corner of his lips. Eliott realizes he sees him smile once - that time he threw a pen at Idriss. He needs to make it happen again, soon. “Okay,” he gets up and takes his stuff to Lucas, hands him his notes.
…
It's monday.
The door opens and there´s Lucas, walking out of the house, his backpack hanging on the healthy shoulder, brace still in place.
He stops in his tracks when he sees Eliott standing there, leaning to his car.
“What the fuck-”
“I´m here to take you to school,” Eliott says and opens the door for Lucas.
“Are you stalking me, now?” Lucas says, still in place. “Is this even legal?”
“What? Taking care of you?” Eliott says, walks to him, takes his backpack and walks back to the car. “Come on.”
Lucas walks to the car, slowly, rolling his eyes. Before he gets in, he says “You're a creeper.” Then he slams the car door behind himself with force.
Eliott is smiling when he's walking around the car to the driver's seat.
That's the attitude.
He´s fucking in love.
…
Eliott repeats it on tuesday, wednesday and thursday.
He picks up Lucas in the morning and drives him back home in the afternoon.
He's pretty sure that on wednesday he sees a real smile on Lucas´ lips.
On thursday, something breaks.
And unfortunately, not in a good way.
“Got yourself a bodyguard, Lallemant?” Daniel says and before Lucas can say a word, Eliott grabs him by the front of his hoodie and presses him to the wall by lockers.
They´re at Lucas´ locker, when Daniel and his pals come to them.
“That's none of your business, am I right?” Eliott spits in low voice to Daniel´s wheezing red face.
“What the hell, dude-”
“You´re gonna leave him alone, no talk, no look in his direction, no fucking walking through the same corridor, is that clear?”
“How the fuck should I do that?” Daniel asks.
“Not my problem,” Eliott shrugs, dramatically. “But if I find out you as much as looked at him, I´m going to make it my problem, alright?” he lets go of the hoodie and steps back. Daniel is gazing at him, caressing his chest.
Eliott steps to Lucas, takes his bag and books from his hands. “Let's go, Lucas.”
They turn left and then right when Lucas speaks up.
“I don't need this from you, okay?”
“I won't let anyone be like that to you!” Eliott stops and half-screams this at him.
“You were like that to me, too! For such a long time!” Lucas screams back.
“Lucas, you… why are you not bothered by it? Why did you never talk back?” Eliott asks this, because he never understood. “I mean… I was a total dickhead to you and you just… let me. Or this motherfucker Daniel. Why do you never do anything?”
“Like what? What can I do?”
“I don't know… something!”
“Because I don't care!” Lucas throws his healthy hand. “I don´t care, okay? School sucks, it sucks so fucking much and I hate every minute in this place, people are mean and idiotic, everyone around me is an asshole, so what , should I be one of them?”
Eliott bites his lip.
“I won't be one of them, okay? I don't care if you call me a loser, I don´t care if Daniel is trying to steal my homework every week, I don't care if people are shoving me around in a hallway. I just want to get through another day, okay? And if that's too much, I want to get through another hour. And if that's too much too, sometimes, I´ll take it minute by minute, and that's fine by me, alright?”
Adorable bastard.
“I´m going to my next class,” Lucas grabs his bag and books from Eliott, turns around and goes. Eliott catches up on him. Lucas stops and screams at him. “Stop fucking following me!”
“I can't!” Eliott screams back.
“Why?!”
“Because I fucking love you!”
Books and papers fall from Lucas´ arm to the ground. Lucas stares at them.
Eliott steps closer and picks them up.
“What are you even saying?" Lucas mumbles quietly, still staring at the ground. Eliott steps closer and presses their foreheads together.
He didn't want to scream at Lucas like that, and especially not something that should be said softly in privacy, every word filled with love and adoration.
Not this.
Lucas sniffles, his eyes are closed tightly.
Fuck, did Eliott make him cry?
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Eliott repeats softly again and again, and it's not for the fallen books. It's for everything. Everything, every thing.
Everything.
"I'll protect you,” Eliott says then, grabbing the hem of Lucas´ sweater in his hand, holding tight.
"I don't want you to protect me,” Lucas says.
"Why?"
"I want to protect myself,” Lucas pulls his head away and takes the papers from Eliott. “If I let you protect me, then I'll need you. And I don't want to need people. They are not forever. I never needed anyone but myself. Because I am with me forever."
Sweet sad boy.
"Okay, okay, you don't have to need me. But I do need you. You make me think of kindness and generosity. I need you, and I want you,” Eliott speaks the truth, then asks the question. “Do you want me?"
"What…," Lucas mumbles, swallowing uncomfortably, adjusting his files and books with his one hand.
"Do you want me, too, Lucas?"
"Want you?" Lucas doesn't look him in the eyes.
"Yes,” Eliott steps closer.
"I… I want you…," Lucas says and Eliott's heart skips a beat. "I want you.. to let me go to class."
And he turns around and walks away.
Eliott stands there alone in the hallway.
He turns to leave, eventually, but a piece of paper catches his eyes. It must have fallen from Lucas´ stuff.
Eliott picks it up.
The page is full of tiny mushrooms. In the middle of it is one bigger mushroom with windows and doors. Mushroom house.
There´s a hedgehog peeking out of one window and raccoon from the other one.
*
Eliott doesn't know how he managed to go through the day. His head is full of thoughts about Lucas. Lucas Lucas Lucas.
He doesn't have time to think about when this all started, because he never realized he's falling for that boy until it was too late.
God. All those thoughts that were there but Eliott never let them leave the deepest corner of his mind.
Like the reaction of his heart whenever he walked into the classroom and saw Lucas sitting there. Whenever he'd seen him across the hall, the yard…
The tiny voice in his mind whispering: beautiful. Pretty. Eyes. Lips. Cheeks. Beautiful.
The way his entire body had frozen when he's seen him smile for the first time, smile and laugh at Eliott stupid trick that day.
That one time on the bench, when Lucas was willing to listen Eliott, offering to be the shoulder to cry on, the care in his eyes - and Eliott, rejecting him.
Eliott sits in his car for a while, then he drives home.
…
It´s friday.
Eliott doesn't go to school.
What for.
He was attending the stupid institution just to see even a glimpse of Lucas.
He gets up around noon, takes a long shower, then hangs around the house, sulking. Basically.
In the afternoon, the doorbell rings.
And.
There he is.
Lucas.
Slightly damp hair and sweater, arm still in the fucking brace, bruise still on his face.
"Lucas," Eliott says, his voice sounds weird. He clears his throat. "What are you doing here?"
"You weren't at school," Lucas says. "So I came to tell you-"
"You walked here? In the rain?"
Lucas shrugs with one shoulder. "I can't drive my scooter with one hand. And it wasn't raining before, it started a few minutes ago."
"It's a couple kilometres here, from your house."
“It's fine.”
“No it's not, you said- you said in the hospital that everything hurts, everything, your whole-,” Eliott gestures to Lucas´ whole body. “You shouldn´t-”
“It's fine, really.”
“No, it´s-”
“Shut up for a second, please?” Lucas groans.
Eliott shuts up.
"I came to tell you that...that I want you,” Lucas says, looking somewhere behind Eliott, then he locks his eyes with him. “And.. and I want to need you."
Eliott thinks he might be in shock. Or, at least, overwhelmed by all Lucas is saying.
"And you said you want and need me already, but I.. but I also want you to need me. And it maybe sounds toxic as hell, but there's nothing healthy about how this all started, how you and me..how we...well-"
Eliott grabs Lucas' healthy hand which is clenched into a fist and pulls him inside, closing the door behind them. "Why are you still standing there in the rain-" he mumbles and feels stupid, because Lucas was there because of Eliott.
So they're inside, in silence, Lucas´ back is pressed to the closed door and Eliott is standing so close to him that he feels the cold of Lucas´ skin. He's cold with the outside air, with the rain. Eliott steps even closer, so now their chests are almost touching. Almost, because Lucas´ arm is hanging there between them so Eliott leaves a little space in there.
“Lucas,” Eliott says and Lucas looks up at him. “Are you serious?”
“Yes,” Lucas says. It sounds like a whisper of love - and Eliott is officially losing his shit. “I wanted to tell you at school but you didn't come.”
“How stupid of me,” Eliott lets his forehead bumps to Lucas´, bringing his hands up to Lucas´ shoulders, caressing him up to the sides of his neck. Eliott lowers his face even close to Lucas´ and brushes their noses together. Few centimetres and their lips would meet.
Lucas shivers.
Right.
Right, he must be cold in the damp clothes.
“I´m gonna give you some dry clothes to change into, hm?” Eliott says without pulling away.
“I… I can go,” Lucas pulls away from the door. “I mean, I just… I just wanted to tell you this and… and I can go home now, we can see each other tomorrow-”
Eliott snorts. There's no way in hell he's gonna let him go now. This boy… He's not going anywhere. Eliott scoffs with the thought. “Yeah, sure,” he shakes his head, slips his hand from Lucas´ shoulder down his arm until he reaches his hand and holds it in his, then leads them both through the house to his bedroom, releasing Lucas´ hand and marching straight to his closet, pulling out his t-shirt and hoodie and sweatpants and socks. “Here,” he hands them to Lucas who still stands at the door, looking around the room. Lucas takes them.
“Thanks.”
“Do you need help with the sweater?” Eliott nods to his hurting arm. “With that.”
“Um, no, I´ll just… I´m gonna take it off,” Lucas says and pulls for the stripes holding it together. “It's wet, anyways.”
“So it doesn't hurt anymore?”
“It does,” Lucas mumbles, like he´d be ashamed of it.. He probably is. “Doctor said it´s gonna be okay in two or three weeks. I am barely behind the first one.”
“It's gonna be alright in no time. You´ll see,” Eliott assures him as Lucas slips the brace carefully from his arm. There´s bandage wrapped around his wrist, the rest of it is hidden in his sweatshirt.
“Can you pull by the sleeve, please?” Lucas reaches his healthy hand to Eliott, who does as he´s asked and Lucas pulls his arms out of it, then takes the sweater over his head and the other arm.
“How did you get dressed?” Eliott asks, can't quite take his eyes off Lucas in black t-shirt.
“Getting dressed is way easier than getting undressed,” Lucas huffs as he pulls the collar of his shirt over his head.
Eliott would love to offer him some help. Eliott would love to tell him that he's going to undress him every day for the rest of their lives, if Lucas has him. But it's too much. Too much right now.
“I´m going to make some tea, okay?” Eliott says and goes to the door. “If you'd want some help, just say a word.”
“Thanks,” Lucas looks at him, his hair all mess, falling to his forehead, and he smiles.
He smiles. A little. But he does.
Eliott feels, once again, like a winner.
And the best thing is that today - today, he is .
They're sitting on Eliott´s bed, mugs with hot tea in hands, music playing on the record player, and Eliott asks. “Since when do you want me?”
Nobody can blame him. He feels a little smug about this all.
Lucas shakes his head. “Not telling you.”
“Why not?” Eliott frowns, grabs the fabric of his own sweatpants on Lucas´ knee and pulls for it. Lucas looks so cute, drowning in Eliott´s clothes.
“You´d find a way how to use it against me.”
“Why would I use it against you, when I´m here to protect you?” Eliott shuffles a little closer. He's long done with being vague. He decided he´s going to say everything he thinks. At least, everything important. “I want to protect you from everything and everyone, including myself. I will never, ever, use anything against you, ever again.”
Lucas sips from his mug, thinking. Then he rolls his eyes. "Since our first class together."
"What?"
"I thought it's gonna go away and I will stop wanting you… with you being a dickhead to me.. but it didn't. And I didn't. It just hurt more."
Fuck it.
Eliott leans closer, cups the back of Lucas' head with one hand and kisses him. Lucas' lips are warm from the tea, he's whole warm and soft and cuddly. Eliott wants to snog him the whole night.
Lucas´ hand grips Eliott´s sweatshirt. Eliott pulls away, both of them out of breath.
"I'm sorry. Sorry, I should have asked first, I-"
"Do it again."
Eliott blinks at Lucas. He's smiling. He's actually really smiling. Eliott is melting inside.
He takes the mug with tea off Lucas' hands and puts it on the nightstand next to his own, then returns to Lucas' space and caresses his cheeks with dimples.
“Who would have thought that one kiss makes you finally smile at me,” Eliott whispers.
“Two kisses,” Lucas says and closes the distance so Eliott kisses him again.
It´s better. Better than anything in this world.
Eliott wraps his arms around Lucas and pulls him closer, then unfolds his legs from under him and wraps them around Lucas, too.
"Wait-," Lucas pulls away and Eliott for a second thinks he hurt his arm, but Lucas turns his head away and sneezes, then again. God, he's so cute. "Sorry, it's probably from the rain."
Eliott giggles. "You'll be sick because of me…," Eliott lifts the blanket and wraps it around Lucas' shoulders. "We can't have that."
“Can you please bring me the brace?” Lucas asks, slowly straightening his arm in front of him before folding it to his chest again.
“Does it hurt?” Eliott gets off bed and brings Lucas the brace which was on the radiator to dry.
Lucas shrugs. “It´s better when it's not moving.”
Once the brace is on again, Eliott kisses Lucas ten times more. “Aren't you the main character who has all those injuries and sickness so people feel sorry for him and love him way more than anyone else in the story?”
“What?” Lucas laughs. “No. And this isn´t a story.”
“This is our story. Since the very beginning.”
“Nothing even started yet.”
“Everything started when I first laid my eyes on you.”
Lucas laughs again and again. “That's some bullshit.”
Eliott shakes his head with a wide smile. He jumps at Lucas and shoves him gently to the pillows, then lies on his stomach, upper half hovering above Lucas. “It's the holy truth I swear.”
Lucas´ laugh is muffled by Eliott´s lips.
He's going to snog him the whole night.
*
“Do you love me?” Eliott asks later, when their lips are kissed red and puffy, so Eliott´s on his side, leaning on his elbow, his other hand is caressing Lucas´ face, his neck and shoulders and his fingers are playing with Lucas´ hair.
“No,” Lucas says and fights with a smile.
“You do!” Eliott accuses him, pokes him to his chest.
“I don't!” Lucas tries to roll away, but Eliott doesn't let him.
“You do, you said it!”
“I didn´t!”
“You said you want me!” Eliott leans down and hides his face in the crook of Lucas´ neck and healthy shoulder.
“Want, not love!” Lucas protests, shoving at Eliott with one hand. “Desire is not the same as love.”
Eliott lifts himself up on his elbows. “Desire?” he asks with raised eyebrows.
Lucas´ cheeks go dark pink, he bites his lip. “Oh shit, fuck, shit,” he lifts his arm and covers his face.
“No no no,” Eliott says, giggling, pulling by Lucas´ arm. “You said it. You said it!”
“Leave me alone!” Lucas groans, but he´s giggling too.
“You want me! You love me!” Eliott sing-songs, interlacing their fingers together so Lucas wouldn´t cover his face again. “Love me, love me, love me,” he keeps pressing kisses between every word to Lucas´ face.
“Stop! Or I'm going to run away!” Lucas screams between laughter.
“You won´t, I won't let you.”
“I´ll just wait until you fall asleep, then go.”
“Not if I´m gonna snog you all night,” Eliott says and presses his lips under Lucas´ jawline, then moves with them to his neck and under his ear, enjoying way too much when Lucas´ shivers.
“You can't!” Lucas says.
“I can.”
“I want to sleep.”
“So I´m just gonna cuddle you and you will not be able to escape,” Eliott´s already pulling by the covers to lift it up and cover them both.
“This is prison,” Lucas says when Eliott covers them and cages Lucas inside his arms. Now he has the perfect opportunity to whisper to Lucas´ ear all night. He leans his head down and kisses Lucas´ shoulder. “I need to pee.” Lucas says.
Eliott starts laughing.
“What?” Lucas giggles. “I need to!”
“No.” Eliott tightens his arms around Lucas and closes his eyes again.
“Okay, well, I don´t care, I´m going to pee in this bed. Thank goodness we´re not in my room, I wouldn't want to clean it and change the bedsheets and wash it and-”
“Okay!”
Lucas goes to pee, Eliott waits for him in the hallway, just to be sure he won't run. (He wouldn't.) (Would he?) (He wouldn't!)
“You´re such a creeper,” Lucas says when he walks out of the bathroom, but there's a fond smile on his lips and soft look in his eyes.
Eliott cages him inside his arms again and both of them close their eyes, ready to sleep.
Eliott leans even closer, so his lips are closer to Lucas´ ear, and he whispers “I know you love me.”
“Shut up,” Lucas whispers back.
“Love me love me love me…,” Eliott keeps whispering.
“I´m leaving,” Lucas whispers again and Eliott holds him tighter.
But Eliott was never a saint, so he keeps mocking. “Love love love love love love-” he whispers again and again until there are lips on his, shutting him up.
Then, a whisper.
“I love you.”
...