Chapter 1: Back from Kimimaru
Chapter Text
Gaara
A1) Gaara has his arm around Lee to help the other nin walk back to Konoha. They’re greeted by Gai and Tenten. Gai takes Lee from Gaara, walking him to the hospital.
A2) Lee asks what Gaara’s planning to do. Gaara will wait for his siblings at the entrance. Gai tells him he saw Temari and Kankuro at the hospital when he went to check on Neji. It seems like Gaara and Lee were the last ones to come back.
A3) Gaara follows them to the hospital. Gai and Lee are jovial while Tenten keeps making side glances at Gaara. He thinks it’s fruitless since he could kill her swiftly at any time, but maybe that’s why she’s frightened. Gaara tries not to make eye-contact with her (nor Gai) and focuses on relaxing to replenish his depleted chakra.
A4) Tenten and Gai leave Lee at the front of the hospital and tell him they’ll check on him and Neji before dinnertime. Gai and Lee embrace and cry over things like “springtime” and “youth.”
A5) Not having anything to do, Gaara follows Lee and they walk in and a a medinin immediately recognizes Lee and chastises him about how worried Lady Tsunade was and how she’s going to beat him senseless for discharging prematurely and without authorization—and taking Lady Tsunade’s liquor no less!
“And you even got another shinobi hurt too?” The medinin gestures at Gaara. Before the sand nin could put a word in, Lee and he are ushered into the same room, onto separate hospital beds divided by partitions. It’s a small room with four beds, two on one wall and two on the adjacent.
A6) Another medinin comes in. The first one checks and heals Lee and the other does the same for Gaara. When Gaara tries to get out of the bed and tell the medinin he’s alright, he needs to report back to his teammates, he gently pushed back down. They tell him the Hokage has been made aware of Gaara’s treatment and she says she’ll tell his teammates where he is herself. The hokage doesn’t want to send their allies home scuffed up, stating it would come across as improper. Gaara reluctantly stays sitting at the edge of the bed.
A7) Gaara listens in on the other medinin who asks Lee how badly he was injured. Lee tells them he’s completely fine and Gaara doesn’t know why he interrupts Lee, speaking through the curtain partition what had actually happened during the mission. The other medinin pulls the partition back, making the space look like it’s a room just for two—just for Lee and him.
The medinin asks Gaara questions about the mission and Lee’s health, instead of Lee himself. Lee pouts and Gaara doesn’t understand why Lee would lie about how injured he is. Gaara’s only been injured three times and he’d never tried to hide his pain any time.
A8) The medinins leave after healing their topical wounds and tell them another person will come to help their chakra depletion in a bit. Gaara asks Lee, once the door closes on the medinins’ way out, why he lied to them. Lee looks sheepish when he says he’ll be okay healing himself, since he’s so used to getting hurt from just training alone. He wants to get back out to train and make sure his left arm and leg recover and go back to being as strong as their counterparts.
“You’ll only hurt yourself more,” Gaara says. “This is foolish if you don’t heal completely.”
“But I cannot sit and stay still while others are getting stronger! I have to work ten times—maybe even one hundred times harder, just to be at the same level as my peers. I do not have the luxury to sit and do nothing in this hospital.”
A9) Gaara is speechless. On one hand, he deeply respects Lee’s tenacity and stubbornness to better himself. His disability doesn’t stop him from being a powerful ninja—Gaara knows this first-hand—because Lee chooses to not let it pull him back. In fact, not being able to use ninjutsu nor genjutsu might even be a blessing that only Lee could create. He makes that conscious decision every day, something Gaara is trying to do in his own life, to become a better person.
A10) On the other hand, Gaara’s incredulous at how Lee doesn’t see how self-destructive his actions are. It makes him angry that Lee would throw his life to chance like that. All of that work and success will wash away, just from Lee’s own stubbornness. This shinobi, one strong enough to be the first person to get past Gaara’s sand armor, will see his end due to his own recklessness.
But why does that bother Gaara? Because seeing someone powerful enough to hurt him could so easily be taken down? It makes him angry but then he looks at Lee, doing sit-ups in bed, and the admiration washes it away.
A11) Someone with a familiar chakra signature walks into the room and taps at the curtain. “Knock knock! Lee-san?” Her voice is familiar and Gaara remembers her actions before her name—she’s the weak one who tried to save Uchiha Sasuke when the One Tail came out.
“Sakura-san!” Lee calls out with wide eyes and a big smile. Gaara sees a small amount of pink on the top of Lee’s cheeks. Is he close to her?
A12) Haruno walks in and greets them both, although a bit more hesitant towards Gaara. Understandable.
She asks him if she could put her hands on his stomach and chest to help quicken his chakra recovery. Gaara nods and lays down while she works. Lee is a chatterbox while Haruno is around and it looks like after scolding him for leaving without permission, entertains him by listening to his stories. Haruno is calmer and acts more casually when she goes to work on Lee, but still retains respect and professionalism. Lee’s louder and Gaara wants to cover his ears but he’s curious to know why Lee’s changed around the medinin (does she have her license yet? Actually, Gaara doesn’t care).
A13) After making asinine threats to Lee if he tries to leave without being properly dispatched again, Haruno bids them goodbye. Lee waves his arms above his head in wide arcs while wearing a smile so big, Gaara feels his own face muscles hurting. Haruno tells Gaara his siblings, along with Lady Tsunade, will be stopping by for his discharge once they’re done finalizing the mission. Gaara crosses his arms and nods at her when she leaves and waves them goodbye.
A14) Lee flops down onto his bed and lets a long sigh out.
“I cannot wait to get outside and train with my teammates again. Oh! And I also hope Neji is okay; he was on the team to retrieve Sasuke-kun.” Lee glances at Gaara and Gaara makes no move to show he’d heard him. He barely did, since the question that’s been on his mind spills out, apropos of nothing.
“Why did you act that way around Haruno?” He turns to face Lee. The other boy looks away but Gaara can see the red from Lee’s cheeks travel down to his neck.
“Wh-what are you talking about?” Lee forces a laugh out. It is not a pretty sound.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Do not make me repeat the question, I hate repeating myself.” Lee’s shoulders raise to his ears and sits up to face Gaara.
“It is because I would like Sakura-san to be my most precious person!”
“You need permission for that?”
“Well, n-no, but it is just that I—! …Am not sure about my feelings. I have never truly been in love before so I cannot be certain if she is the one.” Gaara nods his head, understanding this feeling too well due to locking up any love he had for others years ago. He thinks again and speaks slowly.
“Your teacher…”
“Gai-sensei! Yes!”
“He’s called you his most precious person before. Does that mean—”
“Oh no, no, no!” Lee waves his hands in front of himself emphatically. “Gai-sensei is like my father. A precious person can be a family member, lover, friend, anything! There are many different types of love and the person you care for most can encompass one or more of them. I hope… that makes sense?” Lee’s head tilts and Gaara realizes Lee expects a reaction. Gaara hasn’t felt any love in the past seven years so he doesn’t have a reaction but he nods anyway.
A15) “Do you have a precious person, Gaara-kun?” Lee politely asks. His eyes quickly glance to and away from the love symbol on Gaara’s forehead.
“…My uncle, I suppose. A long time ago. But he attempted to kill me.” Bad memories resurface and the sand in his gourd start to rattle next to where he sits. Gaara sees Lees left leg twitch but his eyes are still on Gaara’s resolute to hearing whatever the person who almost killed him twice tried to say. “I suppose my most precious person is still myself… but I’d like that to change. To be able to love and feel love. To experience love from a family. A friend. A lover.”
Gaara is certain he’s almost emotionally drained, just from a few sentences. He hopes to be able to work on that. Lee nods and keeps his searing eye-contact. Gaara’s read that it’s polite to look at someone in the eyes when speaking to another person, but everyone he’s tried it with has always seemed to look away or cower. Seeing Lee look into his eyes feels, if Gaara was being honest, slightly intimidating, but mostly, Gaara feels noticed. Lee is paying attention to Gaara and Gaara only. It makes him feel like someone actually cares—someone actually cares about what a monster says.
Gaara realizes, finally, that there’s no deceit behind Rock Lee’s eyes. He’s an incredibly odd person, but also incredibly honest and easy to read, something Gaara greatly appreciates.
“Gaara-kun?” Lee speaks up and brings Gaara’s attention back and out of his head. “I am sure you will get to experience every type of love in the world. In fact, please know that you have, at least, the love of a friend!”
“From Naruto?”
“Oh-well-yes—but! II meant from me!” Lee’s grin is bright as he flashes his Nice Guy pose.
“We’re… friends?” Gaara tries to calm his heart in case it’s not true.
“Of course we are! We have both grown so much from the first time we met and fought together against the same foe just a few hours ago!”
“You should not have been fighting in the first place.”
“Nevertheless!” Lee waves a hand. “We have become friends and I cannot wait to see our friendship to grow.”
Gaara stills himself for a few minutes while Lee goes back to doing sit-ups.
“I would like that,” Gaara finally replies once Lee’s words finally absorb. He feels the smallest smile form on his lips, the first one given outside of his family. It feels foreign but also oddly natural. The grin Lee gives in return is the same one he makes all the time, but Gaara finally realizes that the affection he exudes from it is genuine.
Whoever becomes Lee’s most precious person, Gaara thinks, will be incredibly lucky to have his heart;
his love.
Chapter Text
Lee
B1) Lee is on a mission with his team; they are still genin. They’re passing by Sunagakure and Lee suggests they stop there to rest. Suna’s a bit notorious for their suspicion of outsiders but they should go anyway to show that the shinobi of Konohagakure are trying to reach out, Gai says. It takes a while for the team to pass through the gates until a messenger goes to find Baki, the current highest ranking shinobi and interim kazekage.
B2) A small sand hurricane appears in front of the team and reveals Gaara. The guards are scared of his presence and give him the responsibility of showing the team around Suna.
“Gaara-kun!” Lee walks by Gaara’s side while they follow Gaara around. “It is nice to see you again!”
“You were sent by Baki-senpai, Gaara-kun?” Gai asks, trying to make small talk. Gaara nods and after a quiet moment, Gaara speaks up again.
“I would not usually be the one to greet guests and show them to the hostel, but Baki said I needed to start working on interpersonal relationship skills.” Lee swears he’s the only one to see the small pout on Gaara’s face. In the past, the sand nin would’ve probably killed his teacher for suggesting such a thing, but Lee can tell that Gaara is trying to overcome his malice.
B3) Gaara leaves them after arriving at the hostel. Lee’s team sets their stuff away and everyone rests but Lee. He walks around the village and onto the rooftop to try to find Gaara, but no luck. The sun is setting and Lee turns around to get back to his team but is immediately confronted by a floating eye. He tries to cover a yelp and relaxes when he remembers how Gaara is the one to most likely be doing this.
B4) “Were you following me this whole time?” Lee calls out to the open rooftop air. Gaara appears from a small sandstorm again.
“I was told to watch over your team. You’re the only one who’s left the hostel so far.”
“I wanted to see you!”
“…Why?”
“Because you are my friend!” Gaara stares at Lee and Lee smiles. Friendships are still new to Gaara , Lee reminds himself. Lee walks over to take Gaara’s right hand into his left, but the sand armor slaps it away. Lee looks up into Gaara’s eyes, trying to communicate non-verbally. Gaara nods and Lee reaches for his hand again, this time successful at holding his hand.
“Your arm and leg have gotten better,” Gaara tells him.
“Yes! They are just as they were before…”
“Before I almost killed you.” Lee’s shoulders slump and he nods. Gaara’s eyes are downcast and Lee shakes Gaara’s hand a bit to gett the other to look up again.
“Hey, I tried to kill you too. Please do not feel guilty about that.” Gaara doesn’t look convinced but doesn’t look down again. Lee decides to change the subject. “I tried to look for you to ask if there’s anything you do for fun in Suna, since I have never been here, but the sun has already set.” Gaara looks around and speaks again.
“We could get some takeout and watch the construction of the green houses.”
“You guys have green houses?”
“Yes, for food and herbs that cannot be grown in the desert climate. They’re being restored and rebuilt since Orochimaru tried to take the village down.”
B5) They’re on the kazekage’s manor’s highest rooftop as they eat. Gaara and Lee pass the time with Gaara answering Lee’s questions about the village’s reconstruction. Lee finds out that Gaara wants to become the kazekage , that’s why he’s been following Baki around and keeping an ear out everywhere to keep informed.
“You will be the best kazekage Sunagakure has ever had!” Lee says.
“How are you so sure of this?”
“It is because I believe in you! I believe that you are doing your absolute best to grow and become a better person. Your heart is unraveling and when the world sees how much love and care you are capable of, you will have already captured their hearts!” Gaara looks down and plays with his food.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“I am an optimist!”
“And a romantic.”
“Ah, well,” Lee ducks his head, “that is true. I know I follow my heart over my head, but it has never let me down so far!”
“Name a time it’s worked out for you.”
“Well, right now,” Lee gestures at them. “My shinobi instincts tell me I should not have come to Suna, for our villages are not fully allies yet. It tells me I should have stayed in the hostel and be safe, instead of trying to seek out such a dangerous shinobi. It is telling me I should not be telling you any of this, because it leaves my mind easy to read and my heart open… but I did not listen to that, for if I had, I would not have the opportunity to get closer to a new friend.”
“You risked all of that for a friend?”
“Yes, and it was worth it… You are worth it, Gaara-kun.” Gaara takes a moment to speak up again,
“How do you know that I’m worth it? We barely know each other.” Lee puts a gentle hand on Gaara’s shoulder and the sand in the gourd only startles and doesn’t try to swat him away.
“Well truthfully, I did not know. I took a risk in coming here and seeing you, but I also told you that we are friends and so I will try to be there for you. And it worked out! Because I got to see how kind you are. The way you speak of reforming the village and trying to make life better for its citizens… Now I know that you were worth the danger. Your kindness shows that you would never try to hurt me again. ”
B6) Lee sees Gaara’s eyes become red, tears just on the edge of his lower eyelids. He puts their food to the side and leans in to hug Gaara. No sand tries to push him away. Lee feels Gaara slowly put his arms around Lee and hugs him back. They separate too soon for Lee’s liking but he sees how tired Gaara looks and tells him they should both go to sleep. Gaara nods minutely.
“Will I see you at the gate tomorrow?” Lee asks. “We are leaving right before sunrise.” Gaara nods again. “…Gaara-kun, do you want me to stay up with you?” Lee fears he might’ve broken Gaara emotionally.
“…No,” Gaara finally says. “You need sleep. Go.”
“Okay. Good night, Gaara-kun.” Gaara nods again and Lee leaves.
B6.5) When Lee arrives early to the gate (If you’re early, you’re on time; if you’re on time, you’re late, Gai-sensei says!), he sees his teacher doing push-ups (Lee will have to catch up when he joins Gai!) and opens his mouth to say good morning when Gaara appears from his sandstorm transportation jutsu. Lee doesn’t yelp this time and rushes to give him a hug. The sand startles, but does not do anything but shift in its gourd (Lee will have to make sure the sand doesn’t move at all for the next hug he gives; to get closer to Gaara).
“Good morning, Gaara-kun!” The shinobi on guard at the gate either freeze in shock from Lee’s loud early-morning exclamation or from the sight of Lee embracing Gaara so casually. Even Gaara himself was shocked, if only for a short moment.
B7) Lee spends the time waiting for his teammates by doing push-ups while he talks to Gaara and asks him if he slept well.
“Surprisingly, yes,” Gaara says. “ I slept.”
“…What do you mean by that?”
“I have insomnia. It’s rare for me to get a full night’s rest.”
“What!?” Lee jumps up and puts both hands on Gaara’s shoulders. “Then that means I should have stayed up with you! If I had known, you would not have been all alone last night!” Gaara is silent and still for a minute until Lee finally sees the smallest upward tilt at the edge of his mouth. Gaara is smiling!
“I told you to leave, Lee. I needed some time to think.”
B8) They say goodbye. Team Gai will be seeing them again on the way back. When Lee looks back at the gate’s walls when he runs out, he sees a red, small as an ant. He smiles.
Notes:
I hope to update at least a chapter a day, preferably more but it depends on my schedule.
I'll occasionally edit previous chapters, but they'll mostly be minor changes such as spelling or formatting. If there's a major change, I'll mention it at the beginning of the chapter notes in the latest chapter.
Chapter Text
C1) Team Gai goes to rest at Suna on their way back from a mission two weeks later. Gaara is already there when they arrive. His siblings are also present and stand to his left and right, but Lee hardly notices them, eyes only on the boy in red. That’s why, right? He noticed Gaara because red is such a prominent color? And has he grown?
Gaara offers them his home instead of the hostel as a spot to rest and Lee looks at Gai, hoping his teacher can see his pleading face. Gai tries to play coy and refuse the offer at first but eventually agrees. Lee lets out a shout and Neji and Tenten roll their eyes.
There are guest bedrooms all over each wing of the manor and everyone gets to choose their own space. They’re told not to enter the second floor and basement, as they’re where the siblings reside.
They have dinner at the dinner table. Half of the food is Sunan and half Konohan, in case their palettes aren’t compatible with the Sand’s. Lee tries every dish while Neji sticks to what is familiar to him (Sunan food is too spicy for the Hyuuga). Temari and Kankuro tease that Gaara’s been planning this day since Team Gai left two weeks ago. Gaara does not respond to their claims, deciding to sip his tea instead. Gai and Lee cry over the gesture.
C2) Once dinner is eaten, Gaara suggests they look around the village—Kankuro with Tenten and Neji, Temari with Gai (Temari has a grimace on her face), and Gaara with Lee.
C3) Lee and Gaara are the last to leave and Lee stops Gaara. He sprints to get an item out of his bag from his room. Once back, he asks Gaara to close his eyes and hold his hands out. The Sand nin reluctantly agrees and Lee places a large conch shell, almost the size of a head, into Gaara’s hands. Gaara rolls it around and looks at the shell as if it was an alien specimen he’d never seen before.
“We were at the beach and when I saw this, I thought—OH! That’s really red, just like Gaara-kun’s hair! He also wears lots of red, he likes red, so I should get it for him!” Lee says.
“I do like red,” Gaara mumbles.
Lee shows him how if Gaara puts the open part of the shell to his ear, he can hear the waves from the ocean.
“It’s just a hollow sound,” Gaara states.
“Ah, well, I suppose it is metaphorical. It sounds more like a cave near the beach in my opinion.”
Gaara spends a few more moments with his eyes closed and ear to the shell. Lee thinks Gaara looks almost calm.
“No one’s ever given me a present before,” Gaara says, looking into Lee’s eyes. “Thank you,” Lee is speechless.
“Not even on your birthday??” Gaara shakes his head.
“My siblings and I don’t really celebrate our birthdays.” Lee tells him that if he’s ever with Lee and it’s his birthday, please tell Lee so they can celebrate it. Gaara smiles that small smile of his and nods. He puts the shell away, Lee assumes somewhere upstairs in his room, and they finally head out.
C4) Gaara shows Lee the almost-complete green houses. Lee listens to Gaara share his vast knowledge of the plants being grown. They’re technically not supposed to be in the green houses at this hour but Gaara rolls his eyes when Lee asks. When they reach the end of their tour, Gaara hesitates in his step, something quite unusual for a shinobi so sure of his actions.
“Follow me,” Gaara grabs Lee’s wrist and Lee follows him back to the manor and up its stairs. They walk through what Lee assumes is Gaara’s room, from the bed and the conch shell Lee had just gifted him, then through a door to another, smaller, greenhouse. It’s a bit sparse but it looks like there are plants starting to grow. Lee’s eyes are wide, curious.
“I do not remember ever seeing a greenhouse connected to the manor the last time I came!” Lee’s eyes are wide and his mouth agape. “I did not even see one on the way here!”
“It’s new. I made sure it was hidden when I helped speed construction up by making the glass and transporting it with my sand.”
“You can make glass out of your sand?”
“Or any sand.”
“So cool…”
Gaara tells Lee his plans of using the space for his own personal research and use.
“What do you mean by your own personal use?” Lee asks.
“I like succulents. I think they look nice.”
“Oh! Okay!” Lee will have to scratch that into his heart and remember it—it’s rare for Gaara to talk about his interests.
Gaara walks Lee around and talks about the plants he’s growing and what he plans to do with the rest of the space in the future. Once they finish, Gaara leads Lee out into a balcony made entirely out of glass, under the dark desert sky. There are no stars out due to the light pollution from the village markets.
C5) Lee asks why the markets are still out so late and Gaara replies the hours of activity in Suna are different from other villages. Sunagakure’s citizens wake early to start their day before the sun is high, close business during the high sun and oppressive heat, and resume for the rest of the night.
“Do you think they are still open?” Lee asks.
“It’s almost closing time; they’re all probably about to shut down for tomorrow.”
“Oh! If I had known the market was open at night earlier, I would’ve gone to see everything!” Lee sees Gaara frozen and Lee waves his hands frantically in front of himself. “N-not that I did not appreciate seeing the greenhouses with you today! I really, truly, did have a wonderful time with you!”
“Lee,” Gaara looks at him intently, “the next time you are in Suna, we are going to the night market.” His serious face at such a mundane activity makes Lee smile, finding Gaara’s words and actions endearing.
“It would be an absolute honor.”
C6) They bid goodbye in the morning at the main gate. Lee hugs Gaara farewell and the sand in Gaara’s gourd does not make a sound—Score! Gaara says the coronation of the next kazekage, him, will be in a few months.
“I hope to see you there,” Gaara tells Lee directly.
“WE WILL TRY OUR BEST!” Gai shouts, coming in between them and interrupting all contact. He effectively prevents Lee from making any promises.
C7) Gaara and Lee share contact information and promise to write to each other.
“You should tell me about your day,” Gaara says while writing on the notepad Lee always carries with himself.
“You… are interested in my day-to-day life?” Lee asks.
“Of course I am. You are an important friend.”
“You are important to me too!” Lee gasps, feeling tears on the edges of his eyes.
“…Stop crying, Lee.”
Notes:
I am, obviously, still working on drawing this chapter and will update this chapter when it's all done.
I'll still slowly chip away at drawing this story, bit by bit, in the background behind other responsibilities. For now though (12/15/21), the story will be text-only. Thank you for understanding.
update 04/16/23: added the rest of the chapter's illustrations.
Chapter Text
Lee
D1) They’ve been sending letters to each other frequently but the closer the days come to the coronation, the fewer and slower the mail gets on Gaara’s part. Lee understands that Gaara has many responsibilities but it doesn’t make him miss his friend and their correspondences any less. Time passes and Lee is on a mission, eastbound from Konoha, on the day of the coronation. He sends a letter to Gaara, apologizing profusely, and the newly appointed kazekage assures him it’s fine. They’ll see each other at the joint Konohan-Sunan chunin exam, won’t they? Absolutely , Lee responds.
D2) In Suna--the second part of the exam.
After the commotion in the cafeteria and the desert monster outside the kunoichi of the Waterfalls killed dealt with, Lee walks up to the roof. He’s technically still within the limits of the building, right? The contestants are told to stay inside to keep away from the sand storm rioting at night. Sure, he’s not in the building, but Neji and Tenten kicked him out for being too jittery from nerves! The wind howls enough to make Lee want to put his hands over his ears and sand gets in his eyes. But that’s okay! He’ll persevere! There are probably going to be weather conditions just like this in the next round of the exam! It’s on that thought that time seems to pause around him.
Lee looks around and finds himself inside a bubble where the winds wrap around its outside and sand fall down to the ground, unable to penetrate the bubble. Lee stands up from his push-ups and smiles when Gaara transforms from his smaller transportation sand storm in front of him.
“You shouldn't be out here,” Gaara says, monotonously.
“Am I in trouble, kazekage-sama?” Gaara smiles and Lee mirrors the gesture.
“Only if you keep calling me that.”
D3) Lee hugs him tightly and apologizes for not seeing Gaara sooner, not being at the coronation, and not having anything as a present to congratulate him with. A disembodied hand made out of sand taps Lee’s shoulders from behind and he immediately lets Gaara down while Gaara keeps his hands still on Lee’s shoulders. Gaara tells him it’s okay, hes already reecieved so many gifts from politicians trying to kiss his ass and that he only wants Lee’s company .
“What are you doing here?” Lee asks.
“What are you doing out here? I’m not a contestant, I don't need to stay inside.”
“Well I uh… I am quite nervous and Neji and Tenten kicked me out of our room. I will not bother anyone out here, I promise!” Gaara nods and Lee doesn't know where to go from here. Maybe he should go back to what he was doing.
“Would you like to stretch with me?” Lee asks.
“Stretch… with you.”
“Yes! It is important that one’s muscles stay flexible so that they do not get hurt as easily! Just follow me and do what I do!”
D4) Gaara is very inflexible. Lee tries not to laugh but Gaara notices.
“Go on,” Gaara grunts out while trying to touch his toes, “Laugh.”
Lee breaks into cackles and Gaara smiles. The hardy laughter tires Lee out more than any of his mini-workouts and stretching. Lee yawns and Gaara tells him to go back to his room and get some rest for tomorrow.
“Yes, kazekage-sama,” Lee jokes. Gaara rolls his eyes--a juvenile habit he never broke. He crosses his arms and looks at Lee with piercing eye-contact.
“I’m not supposed to play favorites since I am the kazekage and a proctor, but… good luck tomorrow, Rock Lee.” Gaara grabs below Lee’s turtleneck collar and pulls Lee in. Lee feels his smile wobbling and his face slightly heating up.
“Thank you, Gaara-kun.”
“Just Gaara.”
“Good night, Gaara,” Lee chuckles. He holds his fists behind his back to prevent himself from pulling Gaara in closer.
“Good night, Lee,” Gaara’s voice has a slight more gravel in it. Lee pretends he doesn’t hear it as some unknown emotion trying to creep out, trying to convey something neither of them are ready to hear.
E1) They’re all resting on one of the kazekage manor’s rooftops and waiting for Chiyo to be properly buried. Kakashi and Sakura are also getting extra intensive care for their encounters with the Akatsuki members.
Everyone has something to eat, food being catered from who-knows-where, all on the kazekage’s ryo. Lee’s glad everyone’s safe and lets himself relax on the bench he’s sitting on. Lee’s on Gaara’s right who is conversing with Naruto on his left. Naruto talks about his adventures in training during the two-and-a-half years he’s been absent and Gaara nods along. Gaara looks more tired than usual, having just died , but refusing to lay down and rest, despite Temari’s suggestion.
If Gaara passes out, Lee thinks, I will catch him and let him rest on my shoulder.
E2) A shinobi informs Baki, who informs everyone that the funeral is about to begin. The Sunans will be changing into proper funeral attire and the leaf shinobi should see them at the gravesite.
“Gaara,” Lee hurries to Gaara before he loses sight of him, “May I speak to you privately?”
Everyone looks back to them before leaving but continues on their way when Gaara waves them off. He glares at his siblings for a bit before they finally leave the two alone.
E3) Lee rushes to hug Gaara tightly but immediately lets go.
“Sorry! Sorry. I forgot for a second there that you had… you had…” Lee looks away.
“Died?” Gaara finishes and Lee nods mutely. “I’m not in physical pain, Lee--just a bit tired.”
“I have never lost anyone before,” Lee hugs Gaara again, gentler this time. “I do not know how I could have… how different I would have become if you had stayed dead.”
“Not so different.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you’re Rock Lee. You have an unbreakable will and spirit.”
Lee leans back and looks into Gaara’s eyes, trying to find any doubt--none.
E4) Lee closes his eyes and rests his forehead on Gaara’s.They synchronize and they breathe in tandem.
“I hope we see each other next, it is not as chaotic. You still need to show me around a Sunan night market, remember?”
“If we’re lucky enough,” Gaara breathes a quick chuckle out of his nose, “I’ll buy you anything you want.”
“Yes,” Lee nods into the crown of Gaara’s head, “If we are lucky enough.”
Notes:
Thanks for waiting! It was my birthday weekend and I was out of town partying lol
Chapter 5: Post-War: Part One
Notes:
heheh two updates
Chapter Text
Lee
F1) They are not lucky. Neither have ever had luck on their side, always having to fight through adversities over and over. The next time Gaara and Lee see each other is on the battlefield of the Fourth Shinobi War. Lee remembers being relieved to see Gaara alive. He’d just lost Neji so he doesn’t know what would happen if he’d lost another person so important in his life. But Gai opens the eighth gate and Lee tries to fill himself with pride for his teacher… his father, but sorrow keeps creeping in.
F2) The war is over and it’s busier than when they were fighting. Gai was saved; his future as a shinobi unsure due to the loss of mobility in one of his legs. Knowing his teacher, however, the loss won’t stop him. Neji is alive from the seal on his forehead. The Hyuugas present theorize that a person with a seal had always historically passed away in solitude, their single sacrifice never to be remembered. The seal eats away all of its victim’s chakra, but Naruto and his abundance of his god-like chakra must have satiated the seal’s hunger, leaving Neji alive. Neji’s sustained major internal injuries, so many of his organs in critical condition, but he will live. Lee thinks he’s hurt more when he hears Neji won’t be able to be a shinobi anymore due to the damage than Neji himself. Tenten kissed Neji when he woke up. Since when were they ever together? Lee is incredibly happy for his teammates and is definitely sobbing and sniffling more than he should be, after hearing of his teammates’ safety.
There were too many close calls for his little makeshift family and it tires him more emotionally than he’s ever felt and yet he finds himself unable to fall asleep. Lee walks around the camp at night despite not being on guard duty. He feels like one of those “zombies” from those movies Tenten made Neji and him watch—walking dead. He’s heard through word of mouth that they’ll start returning to Konoha in two, maybe three days. Lee doesn’t know if he can keep staying awake and may have to ask Tenten to hit him on the head with a blunt weapon. He pauses his walk to consider a light coma more seriously, so he freezes when he turns around and sees a floating, disembodied eyeball an arm’s length away. Is he hallucinating already? It’s a bit too early for that…then realizes whose eye it belongs to. Thankfully, Lee doesn’t yelp but it does make make him jump. He must be extremely tired to not even notice such a familiar chakra presence.
Gaara? Lee mouths. The eyeball looks up and directs Lee’s focus on the tall cliff nearby and the red figure standing at the top. Lee nods and jogs lightly toward Gaara. The eye disintegrates into sand and the wind carries it away.
F3) When Lee reaches Gaara, he finds himself smiling at how flawlessly normal the kazekage looks. It makes him wonder what the scuffs and dirt lays underneath the sand armor.
“Can’t sleep?” Gaara asks, arms crossed as alway.
“No; there are too many thoughts in my head,” Lee shakes his head. “And you?”
“I never sleep.”
“Right.” Gaara is still when Lee walks over and stands by his side.
“Are you on a night shift guard duty?” Lee tries to make conversation.
“No, I just worry.”
Lee looks at Gaara, finally looks at Gaara, and takes one of the kazekage’s hands in his own.
“I am glad you are alive,” Lee squeezes the hand. It squeezes back.
“I’m glad you’re alive too.” Gaara takes the sand-armor off, sand moving like molasses into his gourd, and he looks as beat-up and tired as they all do. The sight makes Lee cry.
He thought he was out of tears from all the crying earlier that day but he thought Gaara was okay and that he didn’t have to worry about anyone else. Outside of his team, Lee tried to stay strong and didn’t cry for his friends. However Gaara, a foreign shinobi, has him crying like he was a teammate; a family member.
It’s Gaara who initiates a hug this time. Lee keeps his head down to hide his tears and has both shaking arms straight by his side while the kazekage wraps his own stiff arms around him. It’s awkward at first, but they eventually relax and fit perfectly together as they always do, Lee notices. No, that’s not right. They never could’ve fit inside each other’s arms when they were first acquainted. They chose to make room for each other. They changed and molded themselves and fought against survival instincts for this closeness. They were set up to be enemies but being here with Gaara helps slow his breathing and eventually stop his crying.
They stay standing. Holding on.
F4) Lee breathes in deeply and is only able to smell Gaara. The stench of blood and sweat dried and caked on his skin that Lee’s sure they all have. It tries to push Lee away with its odor, but the Leaf nin stays. They’re both gross and dirty and Lee knows his nose is getting used to the smell. Underneath it all is what Lee believes to be purely Gaara—the scent of warm static, similar to one of an incoming sand storm. The longer he stays, the easier they all are to familiarize himself with… and cherish. It’s a silly thought but Lee can’t seem to get enough of it all. The thought immediately forces his eyes wide open and quickly step away from Gaara.
Lee fakes a laugh and looks up at the starry sky, down to the camps, to the woods behind them, anywhere but Gaara. It seemed invasive and… intimate… to want to more of Gaara’s scent.
F5) Gaara’s brows scrunch together but he eventually goes back to his hard-to-read face and crossing his arms. He looks down to the camps.
“What are you looking at?” Lee asks after he’s able to calm his heart rate down.
“Sasuke Uchiha,” Gaara replies with a frown. Lee looks down and finds the Uchiha walking around on guard duty.
“Naruto-kun trusts him…” Lee starts, “So we do not have to worry too much about Sasuke-kun.”
“Naruto trusts that Sasuke has reformed and is a better man. Naruto has forgiven Sasuke for all the trouble and terrorism he’s put himself in.” Gaara directs his gaze straight to Lee’s. “I am not Naruto.”
Lee snorts and asks “Do you believe he deserves a second chance?”
“I will leave that decision to the hokage and Naruto. It’s not my place to answer that question.” Gaara grates his teeth.
“…However?”
“However, I really want to beat him up for upsetting Naruto so much.” Gaara’s answer has Lee unable to let a loud laugh out, tears in the corners of his eyes. Once he’s able to compose himself, Lee hides behind Gaara.
“Did he hear me?” Lee asks and lightly grabs onto one of Gaara’s arms.
“Yes.” Gaara doesn’t move while Lee takes a peak over his shoulder. He sees Sasuke glaring at them and Lee smiles and waves hello, hoping the Uchiha doesn’t confront them. Sasuke’s frown deepens and he quickly flickers up to the cliff behind him.
“You two were talking about me,” Sasuke grumbles. “Laughing at me.”
“Yes we were,” Gaara replies, ever stoic. Lee stutters for an answer to save themselves.
“What were you two saying about me?” Sasuke’s fist clenches.
“Would it really matter if you found out?” They stare at each other and Lee gulps, looking back and forth at them.
“Whatever,” Sasuke eventually looks away from his and Gaara’s silent battle. “Fuck you two.” He flickers away and Lee looks back to the camps, finding Sasuke back at his station. Lee lets out a sigh of relief.
“That was not very nice of us,” Lee says. “Maybe we should head down and apologize—”
Lee freezes when he finally turns his head to look at Gaara’s grin. It’s not as deadly but still as malicious as the wicked smile he showed while his sand armor broke off during their first chunin exam. Lee looks closer and finds the grin to reminiscent to a trickster winning his prize. Truly tanuki-like.
“Gaara…” Lee tries to convey his disapproval through his face and Gaara eventually sets back into a neutral appearance.
“Don’t tell me you don’t want to beat him up too.” Gaara glares at him and Lee clenches his fists and looks down to his feet. He pouts but finally sighs and looks back up at Gaara in defeat.
“I would very much like to ‘beat him up’ as well for hurting Sakura-san so many times,” Lee admits. Gaara lets a small and self-righteous snort out and it makes Lee laugh again, quieter this time so no one comes up again. They both go back to people-watching.
F6) “How long have you been standing up here?” Lee asks.
“Since Temari pushed me to go to sleep.”
“And how long ago was that…?”
“Six hours ago.” Gaara’s reply has Lee’s eyes go wide. Lee takes Gaara’s hand in his.
“Sit with me,” Lee watches Gaara let a small sigh out of his nose and comply. They sit hand-in-hand, shoulder-to-shoulder. This is nice, Lee thinks. Unless they bend over, they can’t see the camp anymore. Only miles and miles of canyons and cliffs lay ahead their sight.
“Do you still want Haruno Sakura to be your most precious person?” Gaara asks out of the blue. Lee blinks a few times before answering.
“Is this because of what I said about Sasuke-kun hurting her?” Lee’s only answer from Gaara is from the kazekage turning his head to look at Lee head-on. Lee sighs and looks back at the view. “I do not think so anymore. I will still protect her with my life, as I had promised in the past, but she will always be important to me, just not as my most important person.”
“The last time I saw Sakura after I was kidnapped,” Gaara nods in the periphery of Lee’s eyes, “you were nervous around her. You’d also told me once, years ago when we were both in the hospital after the fight with Kimimaro, that you were interested in her. It seems like such a short time to fall out of love.”
“I do not believe I had ever truly been in love with her,” Lee fake-laughs.
“And now?”
“What do you mean?”
“Is there someone you love, now?” Gaara squeezes Lee’s hand and Lee looks back at him.
There’s an intense curiosity in his eyes and Lee can’t understand why. He knows, however, that the intensity is magnetizing and draws Lee in. A breeze hits them and Gaara’s hair gets into his eyes. Lee bites his lip from laughing and fixes the strands back with his other hand. He lingers a bit longer than he should and licks his lips. Licking his lips because of the breeze, right?
There’s a desperation in Gaara’s eyes when Lee looks back at him.
“I am not sure,” Lee finally replies. He looks away by flopping down onto the hard and dusty ground, one hand leaving Gaara’s hair while the other stays in the sand nin’s hold.
“What do you mean?” Gaara asks and Lee keeps his gaze at the stars. He feels like understanding the stars would be easier than trying to understand Gaara’s motive behind these questions and, more importantly, why they make him feel a certain way.
“There is so much happening at once and I do not know if I am reading my feelings correctly. Once everything is back to normal, I hope I am able to answer your question properly.”
Gaara slowly nods and lays down next to Lee and their shoulders touch again. Lee closes his eyes for a few minutes to rest and just feel the world around him. The earth, the wind, the weight of his clothes, the scratchiness of his arm bandages… and the electric feeling of Gaara’s hand in his. Lee turns his head to look at Gaara and finds the kazekage already staring at him for who-knows-how-long. Lee’s eyes widen in shock, but the rest of him stays still; relaxed. He’s starting to get used to Gaara’s… abnormal behavior.
“Have you ever played that game where you look up at the stars and make pictures up based on the constellations?” Lee asks.
“No.”
“Let me show you!”
They spend the rest of the night like this, hand-in-hand, laying side-by-side, and whispering what they find in the stars to one another. Lee gradually becomes more and more tired and finally falls asleep. He probably dreamt it, but Lee thinks he felt a hand cradle his face. The touch… was soft. And gentle—so very gentle and hesitant. He thinks he might’ve fallen a little bit in love with whoever was tracing his cheekbones, across his nose, and onto the other cheek. It was as if he was being treasured like the stars he was just looking at. Lee sleeps with a smile on his face.
F7) When Lee wakes up, he finds a blanket made of sand covering his body. The object falls apart the moment he sits up to look around for Gaara. The kazekage was nowhere nearby. When he turns around to double-check, Lee hears a soft crinkle underneath the collar of his jumpsuit—a note from Gaara! Lee tries not to think about Gaara getting close to tuck the piece of paper right next to his neck and reads the message:
Tenten came looking for you but told me to let you resume sleeping.
I have business to attend to and cannot say goodbye without waking you up.
I will be here if you cannot sleep tonight. I enjoyed spending time with you.
-Gaara
Lee smiles and tucks the paper into a pocket in his jacket. Whether or not he could sleep, Lee will come back here later tonight. The thought of seeing Gaara again brings him enough energy to last the rest of the day with youthful enthusiasm!
Chapter Text
Lee
G1) It’s Lee who arrives before Gaara on their little cliff. He has the urge to give Gaara a big hug but the other nin must be tired after a long day. Instead, Lee takes Gaara’s hand into his own. It feels like they were finally forged to be slotted together like this and the thought makes Lee smile larger than usual. Gaara smiles back and glances at the backpack Lee carries.
“What do you have?” Gaara asks.
“Oh!” Lee sits down and takes the backpack’s contents out while Gaara sits next to him. “I brought a blanket in case either of us get cold, a tumbler of hot tea, a case of onigiri if we get hungry—” Lee pauses to look at Gaara like he has something deadly to say.“—Have you eaten yet?”
Gaara doesn’t respond and Lee shoves the case at Gaara. Lee glares at Gaara (as much as he could glare in this situation) to make sure the sand nin chews and swallows his food. Once satisfied, Lee talks about his day while Gaara eats.
G2) Lee becomes tired and yawns, but assures Gaara that it is not because he is bored! He is just very relaxed, sitting here with his friend. Gaara wipes his hand on his jacket, gently pushes Lee down onto his back, and covers him with the blanket in Lee’s backpack.
“You need to sleep,” Gaara says. The tone sounds as serious as Lee’s when he told Gaara to eat. Lee smiles at the similarity and lightly pulls the kazekage down to lay next to him. Lee must be tired and delirious, since there’s no way Gaara would follow his guide without pushing back—as if Gaara wants to lay by Lee’s side.
“You should rest as well,” Lee says gently as he drapes the blanket over Gaara as well. Gaara takes his gourd and flak jacket off, using the latter as a pillow. Lee follows suit.
G3) When they’ve finally settled and gotten comfortable, Gaara grazes the back of his fingers on Lee’s knuckles and Lee takes the hand into his own again. He turns his head and finds Gaara staring at him. Lee smiles and turns to face his friend entirely. Gaara mirrors him, arms bent towards his chest and knees lightly touching Lee’s. The leaf nin opens and closes his mouth several times. He wants to continue talking to Gaara and stay awake and enjoy his company.
“What’s wrong?” Gaara asks. The frown ever-so permanently on his face deepens and his brows wrinkle together. Lee takes his free hand to gently flatten the wrinkle with his thumb and reluctantly pull it away once Gaara’s face becomes neutral again. Gaara’s mouth opens and closes this time, also unsure of what to say just like Lee and so unlike Gaara himself.
“I don’t want to go to sleep,” He finally says. “I want to stay awake and spend as much time with you as I can, since I’m so busy during the day.” Gaara lowers his eyes and brings a small smile to his face. Lee wants to make that smile larger and he wants to make Gaara smile every day.
“Go to sleep, Lee,” Gaara taps his foot on Lee’s shin and looks back up to Lee. “We’ll have time in the future to see each other. I still have to show you around Sunagakure’s night market.”
“Pinky promise?” Lee takes his free hand out and pinky ready. Gaara looks at it for a moment, possibly trying to understand, before finally linking their pinkies together. The hesitance makes Lee wonder if he was just thinking about the agreement, or if Gaara’s never made a childish pinky promise before with anyone else.
“I promise,” Gaara says. They set their hands down close to the ones already linked together. Lee closes his eyes for one final moment of consciousness that night and thinks yes, I love him.
G4) Lee wakes up from something tickling his nose. He opens his eyes and finds himself in a slightly different position from how he remembers sleeping in. He’s laying on his back, right arm out. Gaara had curled himself around Lee and rest his head on Lee’s right shoulder, in the nook of his neck. Their legs are tangled and arms are wrapped around each other. As Lee becomes more awake, his face heats up. This is a dream, he thinks. I am dreaming and this is just a very, very, tactile dream that my subconscious has decided to conjure up because… because I am in love with him.
Lee lets a long breath out that he’s been holding since he saw Gaara so close by his side. I am in love with him, he repeats to himself. Lee knows it sounds too silly, too early, to be feeling so intensely towards someone he rarely meets, but he's always dived head-first with everything he has in every situation, so Lee doesn't think twice about his realization. He feels guilty for taking advantage of Gaara’s touch for his own infatuation, but it doesn’t stop him because he’s selfish and he knows this. Lee goes back to sleep and holds Gaara a bit closer. He never wants this moment to end.
Notes:
[trying to resist the urge to spill all of my personal drama in the notes] hi guys
Chapter 7: Post-War: Part Three
Chapter Text
Lee
H1) It’s their last night together before leaving early at dawn. Lee is nervous and can’t stop tapping at least one part of his body in worry. After remembering every single smile and chuckle and touch, Lee was incapable of functioning like a normal person, let alone of a normal shinobi. He’s usually the muscle in camps, moving heavy items from A to B, simple as that! Simple! But while in the middle of the job, he’ll think about Gaara’s hypnotizing stare or the soft brush of his thumb across Lee’s tattered, bandaged knuckles, and he’ll lose all coordination in his work. Tenten bonked him in the head with a paddle due to the numerous mistakes he’d made all day. If only Lee had gotten a coma out of that so the passing memories of laying next to boney arms wrapped around his body, soft hair tickling his neck, and an overwhelming scent of warmth would get out of his head. Warmth is not a smell, but Lee feels it close to his eyes, at the nighest point of his nose, when he inhales. It intoxicates him and makes him hit the back of his head on the rock he’s sitting against, trying to forget all of last night. It’s a stupid thing to do before he sprints to the cliff the moment the sun sets.
H2) Gaara smiles and offers Lee a box of samosas when Lee arrives. Lee shakes and jitters the entire time he eats with a manic smile and, of course, Gaara notices and asks what’s wrong. Lee laughs nervously and so loudly, he’s sure people below the cliff, every single shinobi, can hear him. Gaara frowns and takes Lee’s hand to pull them down to sit. They don’t let go of each other’s hands.
“I am just really really happy,” Lee explains.
“Because the war ended?”
“Well, no, but I am glad for that as well.”
“Then why?” Gaara tilts his head. It’s such an endearing action that makes Lee want to hold onto both sides of Gaara’s face and squish his cheeks. He grabs onto Gaara’s hands instead.
“I…” I think I am in love with you. “I think…” I know that I am in love with you. Lee is usually the type of person to say whatever is on his mind without further thought but he also realizes that Gaara has just started to get used to less intense forms of love and relationships. He has so much on his plate—he’s the kazekage!—that Lee’s never seen Gaara pursue anything more than just friendships. Lee doesn’t want to pressure and break him so he gulps and looks into his eyes to say “I have found my most precious person.”
Gaara’s eyes widen. He only stares at Lee with his usual neutral face, but Lee knows he wants to know more. “I cannot reveal who he is because I do not believe he is emotionally ready for a relationship at this moment,” Lee continues.
“…Is he an idiot?”
“No! No, he is just… he had a lot of trauma in his past that prevented him from getting close to others. I will wait for him, though, because he is worth it.” You are worth it, Lee wants to add. Gaara plays with Lee’s hands and looks down, covering his eyes and preventing Lee from seeing his expression.
“Will you not tell me who he is?”
“I… cannot. I am sorry. I cannot risk anyone from knowing because he is a very powerful shinobi and I believe that if I told someone and he asked them, they will tell him, because he is a very powerful shinobi and there are not many who can say no to him.” Lee watches Gaara stop playing with his hand and cease his questions before Gaara looks up and releases their hands.
“Oh. I know who you’re talking about.”
“You do??”
Gaara stands up and Lee follows. He looks hurt and Lee cannot understand why. “Gaara—”
“He is a very lucky man,” Gaara interrupts. He doesn’t make eye contact with Lee and Gaara’s chest heaves up and down. “You seem happy.” Gaara leaves before Lee is able to grab his shirt to stop him and ask what he meant.
H3) Lee doesn’t understand why Gaara would be upset at being his most precious person… unless… Gaara doesn’t actually find himself to be lucky and was lying to spare Lee’s feelings. He wants to ask Gaara what’s really going on but couldn’t find the sand nin when he looked down at the camps. He should give Gaara some space so Lee flops down and lays where they were just last night. He tries to remember the happy feelings of last night, but only ends up lightly crying.
When his tears stop, Lee drags his feet back to his team. Neji and Tenten ask him what’s wrong but he only shakes his head and curls into his sleeping bag.
H4) The Shinobi Alliance leaves to go back home when the sun rises. Everyone tries to cheer Lee up and he can only give him an ingenuine smile in return. Gai wakes up and tries to give him a pep talk, Neji squeezes his shoulder, Tenten tugs his hand and offers her ear, Sakura hugs him tightly, and Naruto tries to brighten his day with jokes.
Their small group passes by the kages sitting around a large rock makeshift-table. Lee catches Gaara’s eyes when the kazekage glances at Naruto and then onto Lee. He looks back at his work without a word and Lee is grabbed away by Naruto before Lee gets to say a word. He doesn’t have another chance to see Gaara before he finishes packing and it hurts him, even more when he looks up and finds the Sunan company has already left. He tries to lift himself up and go on with his life by talking to his team, his family. It doesn’t make the hurt and confusion go away, but it helps distract him for a while.
Chapter 8: Sunan Festival
Chapter Text
Lee
I1) It takes a year for life to get back to as normal as it used to be. The Five Great Shinobi Nations have agreed to an annual festival to celebrate the Fourth War’s success. The first nation to host is the Wind country in Sunagakure due to most battles occurring on its land. Lee tries not to think about the possibility of talking to Gaara again. Tenten rolls her eyes at his excitement and Neji looks at him in pity. Gai, however, is hopeful for Lee and Gaara’s reunion to be a good one.
I2) After they set their things down at the hostel, Lee walks with the friends able to come with him to the festival to the village center. They stand next to shinobi from all over the continent around a large temple. Lee looks up to the tallest balcony and finds Gaara standing tall in his kage robes—his siblings, former sensei, and other counsel members behind him. The sun is setting and Gaara looks like he’s being lit behind by a halo of flaming feathers. Lanterns light up one by one from surrounding buildings when Gaara begins his speech.
Lee is always amazed when he hears Gaara speak in front of a large crowd, sound amplified by ninjutsu. The man Lee knows is usually so quiet but in his speech, Gaara’s cadence is still steady and eloquent. Lee’s incapable of paying attention to Gaara’s words as he is too distracted from the subtle scratchiness of Gaara’s voice that wraps its hands around Lee’s neck, right under his ears and to the base of his skull. He closes his eyes and subconsciously tilts his face up and towards the kazekage.
Gaara’s speech concludes right when all of the lanterns have been lit. The sky is a dark, velvety blue and music starts playing to declare the start of the festival. There are booths around the village full of games, shops, and various activities common in Sunan culture. A finger taps on Lee’s shoulder and Naruto is in his sight when he turns. Naruto grabs Sakura and him by their arms to run around and enjoy the festivities. Sakura scolds him for being so boisterous while Lee laughs at their bickering, completely forgetting all of his worries.
Gaara
I3) Gaara walks around the festival, having changed into his normal clothes, and watches as everything goes exactly as planned. Any misunderstandings are either resolved by himself or sand shinobi he’d hand-picked specifically for their patience, empathy, and diplomacy. He’s pleased after seeing every conflict settled with calm words instead of fists, weapons, or jutsu. Everything seems perfect until a finger tries to tap his shoulder but is interrupted by his sand armor.
Gaara does his best to calmly pull the sand back into the gourd on his hips. He turns around quietly, slowly. Gaara hates crowds but toughs it out when it comes to diplomacy. He likes to make sure he knows where everyone is around him, so the less people the safer he feels. Not noticing someone behind him, enough for them to almost touch him, terrified the shit out of Gaara.
The culprit is a leaf ANBU member who has her hands up in a pacifying gesture.
“Gaara,” she speaks through her mask, “I need to talk to you in private.” The kunoichi walks away and Gaara follows. He recognizes Tenten’s voice and trusts her enough (Lee trusts her so Gaara trusts her) to follow, but he still keeps his guard up, feeling something dangerous is coming.
I4) They walk into an alleyway and Gaara has a full view of Naruto, Lee, and Sakura playing Three-Card-Monte at a booth behind Tenten. Lee is losing and Naruto snickers while Sakura shuffles her cards.
“Gaara,” Tenten brings his attention back to her. Her body language shows she’s relaxed but Gaara has a feeling she’s more dangerous than he’d last seen her. He’s aware of how ANBU can change a person into something… darker.
“You need to stop avoiding Lee,” she continues. “It’s hurting him. You’re hurting him.”
“He looks happy to me,” Gaara tilts his chin towards Lee who’s laughing with his friends. Tenten doesn’t look behind her to them and keeps herself facing Gaara.
“You’re not the one who has to console him whenever he cries over you. I’m not tired of being there for him—I will always be there for Lee… but apparently you aren’t.”
Gaara squints but doesn’t rise to her passive-aggressive bait. He sees the muscles in her arms clench as she’s not trying to hide that she’s keeping her hands from turning into fists. Tenten’s trying to stay calm and peaceful, even trying to keep (most of) her hostility from seeping out.
“He started acting this way last night at camp, during the war,” Tenten says. “What did you say to him?”
“I told him whoever he’s in love with must be a lucky man.”
“…And then?”
“…Then I left.”
“What. Do you mean. You left?” Tenten grinds her teeth.
“I didn’t want to bother him and his happiness. I didn’t want to interrupt.” Gaara keeps his guard up as he watches Tenten stay silent for a minute. She starts taking deep breaths, as if she was trying her best to stop herself from shouting or doing something unadvisable.
“Who do you think Lee’s in love with?”
“Naruto,” Gaara gestures to the man in question.
“…Naruto.” Tenten repeats.
“I don’t like repeating myself.”
“Kazekage-sama… I understand that you’re a very powerful shinobi, but I didn’t know you were such a fucking idiot.” Tenten’s words makes Gaara raise a brow, surprised at her boldness. “Naruto—it’s—you-you know what? No! It shouldn’t matter who he’s in love with because you are his friend. You don’t leave him when he’s happy, you stay and cheer him on and you should be happy for him—do not argue with me, I’ve been watching you—so what’s the real reason? Because you’re jealous? Grow up.”
Gaara is speechless. No one’s ever spoken to him like this other than his sister. He’s unable to truly be angry at Tenten because she’s…right.
“I know how hard it is to feel like you’ve lost someone you love. I… almost lost someone close to my heart.” Tenten whispers barely loud enough for Gaara to hear. “I’ve been lucky to get him back. I don’t understand why you would try to push yours away.”
Gaara looks over her shoulder to Lee again. The leaf nin didn’t win his game but Naruto puts an arm across his shoulder and says something with a big smile that has Lee mimicking. They walk away and Gaara forces his attention back to Tenten.
“The next time you hurt him again,” She speaks in a calm voice, “I’ll kill you.” Gaara doesn’t have time to analyze the statement before Tenten points to Lee’s direction and urges him to “Gooooo, holy shit.”
I5) Gaara speedwalks and turns his head to every direction. He must look very ridiculous to everyone who sees him. One of his ANBU bodyguards even came into his eyesight, worried, but Gaara waves them away. He finally spots Lee next to a tea stand and chatting with Naruto and Sakura. Gaara stops in the middle of the crowded walkway, like a nuisance, and stares at Lee. He doesn’t plan what to say or think up an excuse to get them alone. It’s an absolute miracle when Lee notices him in the crowd. Lee offers a small smile to him and Gaara is drawn to him like a magnet and walks over to him as if it’s the only thing Gaara knows to do.
“Hey, Gaara!” Naruto waves to him and Gaara is immediately brought back to the present.
“…Hi,” Gaara eloquently says.
“Great festival, man!”
“Yes! I love getting to know more about Sunan culture through small bite-sized pieces,” Sakura adds. Gaara nods to them both as he is clueless at what to say. Lee shakes his paper cup of tea and it grabs Gaara’s attention again.
“Do you want a sip?” Lee offers. Gaara blinks a few times before answering.
“No. No, I need to speak to you alone,” Gaara doesn’t stick around to hear what Naruto and Sakura responds with because the moment Lee nods, Gaara takes his hand and walks them away into an alley.
I6) “What is wrong?” Lee asks. Gaara takes the paper cup from Lee’s hand, downs the rest of the tea, and chucks it into a nearby trash can. “Um, okay,” Lee mutters.
Gaara takes Lee’s other hand and opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. He blinks a few times before finally closing his mouth and slumping his shoulders. Lee shakes Gaara’s hands gently and says something inaudible. Loud music plays and the crowd cheers. The noise is a frustrating distraction that prevents Gaara from even thinking and so he raises himself onto his toes to whisper into Lee’s ear.
“Close your eyes, hold your breath, and don’t move.” He transports them in a sand storm to a quieter area. They’re outside of the festival’s vicinity but close enough to be able to hear the music and noise as whispers. On the other side are the greenhouses that’s only a few minute’s walk away. The air is crisp with the occasional light wind, chilly as they’re no longer in the body heat of a crowd. Gaara steps closer to Lee. For heat, he tells himself.
I7) “I’ve been an idiot,” Gaara begins. Lee furrows his eyebrows. “And I’ve been a bad friend. I avoided you when I found love because I was jealous. I should be supportive and happy for you. You’ve wanted to find your most precious person for years. I am very sorry. I will be here to support you and I—” Gaara swallows a lump in his throat but smiles genuinely, “—I hope Naruto knows how lucky he is to hold your heart.”
“Wh-what?” Lee’s face turns to stone and his hold on Gaara’s hands go slack. Gaara doesn’t understand what’s so baffling so he waits for Lee to continue. “Gaara… Do you… think I am in love with Naruto-kun?” The cogs in Gaara’s head stop.
“Is he not?”
“No! Oh my gosh!” Lee grips Gaara’s hands tightly to his chest. “Have you been thinking that all of this time? Oh no wonder you have not been answering my letters! It is because you were worried about getting in between your two best friends!” Well. Gaara didn’t have that in mind but if he didn’t know it wasn’t Naruto, he would’ve definitely had another thing to worry about. “Gaara I cannot tell you who it actually is but I promise you it is not Naruto-kun.”
“Okay,” Gaara away from Lee’s eyes and down at their hands.
“My most precious person will not change our friendship. I promise that you will always be my friend.”
Gaara smiles and rests his forehead on Lee’s chest. Lee lets go of Gaara’s hands and wraps his arms around Gaara. The sand nin hugs him back and lets a held breath out. A few moments of the two together pass until Gaara finally realizes they’re swaying together as if they’re subconsciously dancing to the faraway music. His shoulders shake and Lee pulls him back, arms still wrapped around Gaara’s back, and asks if he’s okay.
“No,” Gaara smiles, “I was laughing. I’m happy.” He brings them close together again and closes his eyes.
I8) They’re reluctant to leave each other when the festival becomes increasingly quiet.
“Will I be able to see you tomorrow?” Lee asks.
“I’ll try to find you immediately after my duties.”
“Okay.” Lee leans in and kisses him on the cheek. Both of their eyes widen and Gaara’s sure he matches Lee’s tomato-red face. “I-I-I-I WILL SEE YOU IN THE DAY NEXT—THE TOMORROW—TOMORROW!!”
Lee sprints away and Gaara stands alone holding onto his cheek with a single hand. He needs to go home immediately and asks his siblings many, many questions.
I9) Gaara has a long, long talk with Kankuro and Temari about how he’s been feeling differently around Lee than his other friends. They tell him he has a crush.
“Baby bro’s first crush!” Kankuro fake-gushes. Gaara corrects him saying no, he had a crush on Naruto years ago. This feels heavier and more all-encompassing.
“What do you mean?” Temari asks. Gaara takes a moment to think before finally speaking.
“Whenever we’re nearby, I have this urge to get closer. I’ll put my hand on his shoulder and it’s not enough. I feel close to exploding when he holds my hands, but I keep wanting more, as if I want this self-destructive feeling to grow. He hugs me and I never want to let go—and I want to be even closer than that, though I don’t know if that’s possible—”
“Uh—” Kankuro starts but Temari slaps his arms and mutters a quiet “Shut it.”
“He…” Gaara continues, “knows me better than I do myself. He’ll know when I need time to myself or when I need company. He’s so incredible that I don’t know how it’s this possible to be so happy around another person. I get so… dizzy… if I think about him too much or if we’re physically close for a long time. I trust that he won’t ever hurt me nor exploit my trust in him to the point where the sand that protects me doesn’t see him as a threat when he’s with me. This feeling hurts my chest; I want to get it out of my system but I don’t know how to… or if I want it to leave.”
His siblings are quiet for a moment before Kankuro whispers “You’ve got it bad, Gaara.” Gaara doesn’t understand and looks to his sister for clarification. She just smiles gently (an expression he’s come to realize is rare but incredibly genuine) and taps the side of her forehead. Gaara furrows his brows and brings his hand to mirror hers and he touches the scar on his forehead.
Love.
It’s a sensitive subject for him. Gaara sometimes feels like he’s incapable of feeling strong love for anyone anymore—not even toward himself. He spends the rest of the night processing and accepting. He’s slightly distracted the next morning when he gets ready for the day and completes his duties, but he’s able to break out of his trance when he finds Lee again. They spend as much time as they can together and it never feels enough. Gaara wants more and more and it finally dawns on him that yes, he is in love.
I10) Gaara doesn’t tell Lee his feelings, not wanting to get in the way of Lee’s own romantic feelings towards another. He tries to keep it locked deeply inside himself where his bijuu used to be but he knows he’ll mess up sometimes: A hand touching Lee’s lower back. A whisper too close to Lee’s personal space. Holding Lee’s hands when they’re alone.
It’s difficult to say goodbye when the celebration is over but Gaara knows this won’t be the last time they’ll get to spend time together. They have letters and Lee has missions westward and Gaara has meetings in Konoha. They’ll see each other again. Though Gaara won’t be able to release the growing infatuation he has for Lee deep inside his chest, he’ll cherish each moment they have together—moments where Lee’s eyes are on Gaara instead of his precious person.
Chapter 9: Swimming Pool
Notes:
update 04/16/23: added an image at the end.
Chapter Text
Gaara
J1) Lee takes Gaara to a swimming pool in Konoha. Gaara’s in the village for a meeting between two kages and has the evening free until the next morning. They’ve been writing to each other about how Gaara’s never been to the beach before and in reply, Lee promised to give Gaara the same experience the next time Gaara comes over.
Lee’s at the front entrance of Gaara’s hotel in swim trunks, flip-flops, a backpack, and a pool noodle—all quite odd compared to the regal environment surrounding him. He’s wearing a t-shirt to make sure he looks a little more presentable, but Gaara still sees the occasional glares from employees and patrons alike. There are a few employees who avert their eyes and Gaara recognizes them and assumes they’re used to seeing the strangest of shinobi come and go. He meets Lee with his swim attire underneath his casual clothes and a gourd around his waist, a little more discreet.
J2) Lee takes him to a community center and waves to a bored-looking guard, a few years younger than them and not even a shinobi. Lee whispers to Gaara, smiling as if he was caught stealing something mundane, that he had to bribe the guard to let them use the room post-operating hours.
They stop in a large room filled with rows and rows of swim lanes and tall ceilings that must be at least three stories high. The floor and walls wrap themselves in a dark blue tile, cold to the touch. The only light came from underneath the water, turning the pool into a sort of underground heaven based on its entrancing pull. The light spreads out into the rest of the room to make it bright enough to walk around but dim enough to make Gaara feel like he’s hidden from the rest of the world.
Lee ushers him to an area near the edge of the pool. There are two towels to sit on, sand scattered underneath and around them, and a dozen lit candle around them. He tells Gaara it’s meant to look like going to the beach at night. Lee couldn’t build a fire indoors so the candles were the best he could do. He then points to the ceiling.
“I also stuck glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling to make it look more like we are under the stars at night!” Lee takes the backpack off and pulls two thermoses out. “I have also brought hot tea in case either of us get cold after swimming!”
J3) Gaara is speechless at the effort Lee put into this. He’s silent for a long moment while Lee sets his things down and finally looks back at Gaara, who could only let a quiet “Thank you” out of his mouth, to which Lee grins magnificently in return.
Lee has a mischievous glint in his eyes before taking a few steps back, sprinting over to the pool, jumping in, and creating a big splash. Gaara was able to quickly step away from getting wet. He probably looks (and definitely feels) like a cat avoiding water. Lee laughs and takes his shirt off, wrings it out, and places it on a towel to dry. Gaara takes his own clothes off and carefully dips his toe in the water. Deciding the water to be safe, he slides the rest of his body into the pool.
He’d left the gourd far away to lean on a wall, close enough to keep himself safe but far enough in case there’s a larger splash and the sand gets wet. His sand armor was left inside the gourd and Gaara feels cold and naked when he lowers himself down to his shoulders. He’s warmer when Lee swims to him and puts his arms around Gaara to keep the sand nin from falling under, but Gaara doesn’t feel any less naked.
There’s only a thin amount of fabric between their chests from Gaara’s wetsuit and he can’t stop moving his eyes from following Lee’s forehead, revealed from wet hair pulled back, to the water trailing down Lee’s neck to his collarbones. It takes the same amount of effort as raising a mountain as it does to pay attention to what Lee tries to teach Gaara about staying afloat and swimming.
Gaara said in their letters that he knows how to swim and float, theoretically, but not in practice. It’s not fear, insecurity, nor the lack of knowledge that prevents Gaara from actually swimming at the moment, but the distracting leaf nin makes him slip up frequently. Lee’s always hovering around Gaara with a hand on his back or hip, making Gaara dizzier than the abundant smell of chlorine.
There’s a moment when Gaara let his imagination slip for just a minute. Thoughts of Lee pushing him to the edge of the pool and keeping him up with two hands on his ass. Gaara’s legs wrapped around Lee’s waist and arms touching Lee’s chest, back, grabbing his hair. Would this be Lee’s first kiss as well? Or would he do all the work and let Gaara melt? Gaara feels himself slowly hardening, but his arousal is killed once he’s distracted and starts to drown.
Lee is there to save him, but there’s no tender mouth-to-mouth resuscitation—only lots of coughing, spitting, and embarrassing spurts of water out Gaara’s nose.
J4) They take a break once Gaara’s finally able to swim a lap on his own. Lee hands him a towel from his bag to dry off and they sit near each other behind the warm candles. Gaara wishes for them to sit closer, shoulder-to-shoulder, but reminds himself that no matter how hard he wishes, this is not a date. Lee is doing this because he’s a very good friend. Lee’s not in love with him and that’s okay, Gaara tries to tell himself. It hurts to not be able to hold Lee whenever he wants to without Lee thinking he only wants comfort because something is wrong. Nothing is wrong. He just wants to be by the other’s side. They don’t need to do anything. No need to go for a swim or to a mission to be able to see each other. Gaara only wants to lay down next to Lee and just be in his company. He eats it all up during their friendly hangouts but he also starves for more. He wants to make Lee smile and laugh and give Lee everything he can. He wants to make Lee feel good, either with a kiss that shows his devotion or with hands in places Gaara only thinks of when alone at night.
It’s easy to get himself into a downward spiral when Gaara thinks about why he shouldn’t do any of those things. It’s simple: Lee doesn’t love him. Gaara’s not lovable, not romantically. And he’s accepted that. He’s accepted it long ago—not even his siblings nor Naruto can change his mind.
It doesn’t hurt any less, though. There are those in the world who don’t need romantic love in their life and everyone in his life believes Gaara to be one of them. Hell, he was even betrothed to Hakuto not because the council thought they’d make a good romantic match but because she was from a respectable clan. When he told his siblings of his first crush on Naruto, they were completely caught off guard. Even when he told them about Lee, Kankuro and Temari were surprised, not by how intense his infatuation is, but that it could get that intense in the first place. He doesn’t blame them as it had caught him by surprise too. If someone told Gaara at fifteen that he would want to be in a romantic relationship six years later, he would’ve thought twenty-one-year-old Gaara must have been mind-controlled.
J5) Lee sees Gaara withdrawing and scoots his towel and himself over until they finally (finally) sit shoudler-to-shoulder.
“If you are feeling tired, we can leave,” Lee says. “I get hungry after a good swim, so I can understand if you would like to do something else.” He gives Gaara a gentle and understanding smile and Gaara wonders how someone can be so accommodating and kind.
“I don’t want to leave yet,” Gaara shakes his head. “I was just thinking about how I…” It’s a mood-killer but he’d never been able to hide anything from Lee“—will always be unloved by the person I hold dearest in return.” Lee recoils and looks down to his lap. He looks like he’d just heard a cherished dream broken.
“You are in love with someone?” Lee asks and looks back up when Gaara reaches out and holds onto Lee’s deltoid to prevent the other from moving away any further.
“Yes, I am, but don’t worry about me leaving you.” Gaara hopes he is able to convey himself better through his pleading gaze.
“Okay,” Lee whispers and eventually relaxes. “It is just like how I will not leave you either.” He gives Gaara a small smile and Gaara slumps over to rest his head on Lee’s shoulder. He’s glad they were able to avoid another misunderstanding. Lee places a hand on Gaara’s head and starts to play with red locks. Gaara melts.
I7) He hears an audible gulp from Lee before the leaf nin speaks, “In case no one ever tells you, Gaara… You are never going to be unloved again. At least not with me because… I love you.” Lee’s words make Gaara hold his breath and wait but no punchline comes… No conditions, no joke.
No one’s ever explicitly told them they love him before. Even if Lee’s words are platonic, Gaara lets a breath out and with it, a sob. He is loved in return. Gaara holds onto Lee and lets himself cry.
“You do not have to say anything in return,” Lee tries to console. “I only wanted you to know. It is unconditional and I do not expect—”
“I love you too,” Gaara quickly interrupts, voice shaking.
“O-Oh,” Lee stumbles and wraps his other arm around the sand nin. Gaara can feel Lee’s smile on the crown of his head.
J8) Lee may never know what Gaara truly meant when he said those four words (IloveyoutooIloveyoutooIloveyoutooIloveyoutoo) but it’s still good to let them out. He feels lighter. And if Gaara replies to Lee’s I-love-yous in the future with I-love-you-toos, he’ll pretend a part of him isn’t dying to grab Lee by his collar and kiss him.
Lee becomes bolder and the phrase comes more frequently in their conversations. Gaara knows the meaning behind those words don’t lessen in meaning just as Gaara hopes Lee knows that it applies to him in return. The frequency doesn’t diminish love’s intensity. lf Gaara pretends in the middle of the night with one of Lee’s letters in his hands that the words “Love, Rock Lee” mean something more than intended, he’ll be the only one to know.
Chapter 10: Lunar New Year & a Night Together
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Gaara
K1) Suna has a Lunar new year festival they’ve invited their friends and comrades from all over the continent. They don’t expect others to come since there are countries that celebrate the new year too, like those from Tsuchigakure. It was a casual invitation, since every country has a community of immigrants who celebrate it too such as the Hyuuga and former Uchiha clan, so Sunagakure did not expect many invitees to come.
As they all celebrate the holiday, Maito Gai’s team was invited. Konoha has their own summer festival, Suna celebrates their lunar, and Team Gai gets to have both holidays off that year.
All of the festival decorations relate back to the Wind country’s environment—lots of tans and greens instead of the typical Lunar New Year red and gold and tough succulents replacing fragile chrysanthemums.
K2) Gaara walks Lee around to the different booths and stalls. They look around and Gaara answers Lee’s questions about Sunan culture and its variants on the celebration. Lee notices the many dragon motifs and how they look different from the ones he sees in the Fire country. Gaara tells him an old tale:
Once upon a time, five dragons represented the five great nations, now long gone and living only through myths. Each dragon excelled in their respective element. Lee is used to seeing the red dragon in his festival breathing fire, but the Wind’s dragon’s element was in flying. She had no wings, looking more snake-like than the others, but flew through the sky, earth, sea, fire, and thunder as easy as it is for humans to walk.
“How else is the Wind dragon different from the others?” Lee asks.
“Not only is she the fastest of her kin,” Gaara responds, “the dragon of the Wind country is able to transform sound itself through her breath.”
“Oh! Then it must be useful for manipulation, sort of like a kunoichi of her own right.”
“Yes, manipulation of sound can be used for deceit and work similar to us shinobi, but she used her power for entertainment instead.” Gaara gestures to the multiple instruments being played, songs being sung, and chimes ringing from a passing breeze. “She is the merriest dragon and she brings joy to a land filled with harsh environments and unforgiving terrains.” Lee starts tearing up and complimenting her, saying things about the power of song and its positive effects of youth.
K3) They pass by a small booth that sells jewelry, handcrafted by an individual younger than them. Gaara asks the business owner how they’re doing and if they need any assistance from the kazekage’s office, just as he did with every other booth they’ve come across. His people appreciate him and offer free items and discounts but Gaara always declines. Lee would occasionally join in on the conversation whenever someone recounts a positive impact one of the kazekage’s passed legislations. Gaara tries to change subjects whenever it happens, not wanting to spend time listening to praises he deems undeserving. Lee quiets, but keeps the praises coming once they’re alone.
Lee purchases all sorts of things for his friends back home and tries to find something for Gaara, despite the sand nin telling him there is no need. Lee seems to have a difficult time since Gaara’s grown up with so many of these items that they are no longer novel in his home. Being the kazekage, the child of a former one, as well as being a high-ranking shinobi does not prevent Gaara from purchasing quality goods when he needs to invest. However…
K4) Gaara spots a necklace with a pendant that catches his eye. It won’t be purchased for himself but for Lee as a gift. It’s a locket with black sand moving inside a glass container as if mimicking an hourglass. The metal carving of the wind dragon polished black encircling the pendant as if it was protecting an egg. He hopes Lee remembers the tale of the dragon whenever he looks at the necklace, but more importantly, Gaara hopes Lee just thinks about him.
Gaara buys the necklace and moves Lee and himself away from the crowd to somewhere a little quieter in the middle of a residential district. No one is around due to the festival’s pull that night.
K5) “I got this for you,” Gaara holds a gift box containing the necklace right under Lee’s nose, “as a souvenir.” And to remind you of our time together, not just today, but whenever we are in Suna together, Gaara wants to add. Lee accepts the box and takes the necklace out. His eyes reflect the moon, just like the pendant. He holds it to his chest, over his heart, and smiles.
“It is beautiful,” Lee whispers. “Thank you very much.”
Gaara has to look away from Lee for just a blink as he is unable to stand being under the eyes of an emotion in Lee’s eyes he doesn’t understand. Was it adoration? Only if Gaara wishes.
“Could you put it on for me?” Lee asks. Gaara obliges and walks behind the leaf nin to take the necklace and clasp it on as quick as he can so as not to linger near Lee’s skin for too long. When he stands next to Lee again, the other has the locket open and stares at the empty space inside. “I wonder what I should put in here…” Lee wonders aloud.
“Most people have a picture of someone important,” Gaara supplies.
“Oh! Like Gai-sensei?”
“…If that is what you want to do.”
“Hmm… but which picture of him?” Lee asks himself.
K6) “If I were to put something in it,” Gaara pretends to examine the architecture nearby, “I would insert a photo of my most precious person—the person I love…the pendant will fall so close to my heart if I were to wear it.” He imagines keeping a photo of Lee on his person and smiles. “Or you could put something useful inside, like a map or a code,” Gaara quickly adds.
“No, I think your idea of putting a photo of someone I…” Lee glances away “love…is much more impactful.” Gaara doesn’t wish to talk about the stranger he wishes was in Lee’s head sitting right next to his heart so he takes Lee’s hand and walks them back to the festival.
K7) Lee may be a no-nonsense shinobi, but he’s also intense at everything he does, including finding and appreciating the joys in life. He’s quick and dangerous, but he also takes Gaara’s hands and sway him around town square with all of the other dancers and musicians without a care. He’s not afraid of being different nor being laughed at so he’s able to give it his all, even if it’s just something as simple as dancing. It’s no wonder the pendant, especially the imagery of the dragon of the Wind, reminds Gaara so much of the leaf nin.
“Do you believe the dragons are still alive?” Lee asks.
“No. They’re just myths. Tales to try to explain natural phenomena.” Gaara’s answer makes Lee pout.
“Well I think it would be wonderful if they were alive! It is nice to think that the world could be a little more magical with them in it.”
If the Wind dragon was real, or has been reincarnated into another being, it must surely lay in Rock Lee’s soul, Gaara thinks to himself.
K8) They sit on a bench on the edge of the celebration. Gaara’s sweating from exertion but he’s made sure no one can tell by the sand armor he upholds. He tries to slow his heart rate and calm his breathing down. Lee doesn’t even look flushed and it never ceases to amaze and irk the kazekage. There’s a lull in their conversation and Gaara looks over to see Lee fiddling with the pendant and staring at it with great interest.
“The black sand comes from a region in the Wind country where the earth cracks and magma spills out into lava. The lava is then broken and crushed by natural elements, mostly by the harsh winds, to create parts small enough to become bits of sand,” Gaara explains impersonally.
He uses the same voice he has on when he talks about his succulents—calculating and drawling, but calming due to the familiarity of the subject. He’s used to seeing Temari and Kankuro try but fail, despite their best efforts, to pay attention whenever he “rambles” (or so Kankuro tries to kindly describe). Out of everyone he’s ever spoken to, however, Lee is the only person to keep 100% of his attention on him. He knows Lee is an incredibly studious person, always carrying a pen and notebook to transcribe his sensei’s teachings, but Gaara is still always flattered when Lee has his eyes and ears on him… But maybe his rose-tinted glasses make him a bit biased.
“It’s said in tales that the location of the sanded-down lava is where the dragon choses to reside,” Gaara continues. “There are stories of travelers who find her dancing in the abodes she created. I highly doubt them to be true but children often find them amusing.”
Lee looks back and forth between the pendant and Gaara. “So this sand… is it different from the one I see on the ground?”
“Its chemical composition and how it was formed differs, but sand is still sand.”
“Which means you can still control it?” Lee watches Gaara move his hand while the sand inside the pendant moves with it. Gaara nods and Lee’s eyes go wide. “It is like I have you with me at all times!” Gaara freezes, moves his body to face Lee head-on, and looks directly at Lee’s eyes.
“If you are worried about it being like a sort of tracker,” Gaara says seriously, “I can return the necklace. I don’t want you to feel like your privacy has been compromised.”
Lee clutches the pendant and moves it away from Gaara as if he was afraid of having it snatched away. “No, no, no! It is fine, I am not worried about that! I do not believe you will harm me by knowing where I am at all times. I trust that you and I trust each other enough to not always have to constantly hover over the other.” Lee takes his hand off the pendant and places it on Gaara’s knee. He smiles and it helps Gaara speak.
“I promise that I will not use this to spy on you nor your village. I don’t want to ever do anything that would make you uncomfortable without your knowledge. I will never do something so… possessive and I will never claim you as mine.” Gaara’s reply makes Lee’s smile turn into something less… merry? Sadder, but for what, Gaara can’t understand.
“I will always be yours, Gaara.” Lee doesn’t know how hard Gaara’s heart stutters and Gaara tries his hardest to not misunderstand the other’s words. “You have me,” Lee continues,“ but I do not think you will use my trust for anything wicked or immoral.
“That’s unfair.”
“Hm?”
Gaara places his hand on Lee’s, the one on his knee. “You should have something that leaves me vulnerable as well, but I cannot offer that.” He can’t put Suna at risk like that. Lee is an important Konohan shinobi, but Gaara is the kazekage.
“That is a noble gesture, but I do not need anything to reaffirm that we are equals. I already feel so close to your heart, it would be so easy for me to hurt you.” Not close enough, Gaara thinks. Never close enough. He hesitates before speaking again.
“I still have that shell you gave me years ago.” Gaara continues when Lee perks up. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to hear the sound it makes when I put it against my ear and not think of you, Lee.” Gaara looks down to their hands, unable to say the next part and look at Lee’s endearing face. “I know it’s nothing, but a part of me will always belong to you.” All of me, he desperately wants to say. Willing to give himself up to Lee so easily and wholly scares Gaara himself, so it must be something he should never say aloud as it’ll terrify Lee.
L1) They spend the rest of the night at the kazekage’s manor. His siblings and Baki are there as well as Lee’s old genin team. They eat dinner together at the large dining table and recount their day and the festivities they’d encountered.
“Baki-senpai may be a world-class killer on the battlefield,” Gai says with a mouthful of food, “but he is also a killer in the kitchen!” Lee is the only one who laughs while everyone else eats the food Baki and Gai worked on all day. Gai recalls his time helping the silent council-member with groceries, cooking, and various other errands while Baki occasionally corrects any exaggerations. The grocery store and markets were apparently a difficult excursion, trying to find the best deals, highest quality produce, and tough crowds of stay-at-home parents.
L2) Kankuro spent the afternoon with his teammates in his new terrorist division squad who don’t have families of their own. On the outside at first glance, it may look like Kankuro leads his team by tough love, but anyone who actually spends time observing him will know that he’s a giant softie. He treated his team to an expensive lunch and beer, not unusual as it’s something of a tradition for him to treat his team on any special occasion. Kankuro talks about how spoiled they are with him as their captain, sounding like he’s doing this all as one huge chore, but everyone knows they’re his second family. He’s become something of a trusted adult figure to those teenagers.
L3) Temari spent the day with Sen, an old friend of hers alongside Yome when they were in the academy. They’d recently reconnected after the chunin exams, a bit before Yome left with Shira. Kankuro tells their guests that the three are “the absolute meanest girls you will ever meet.” Gaara knows just how much Temari is holding back from hitting Kankuro, lest she proves Kankuro’s statement true.
Their sister doesn’t have many friends, being a workaholic just like her brothers, so Gaara’s glad she has Sen in her life. Temari always has Kankuro and him to be her siblings and companions, but Temari’s always assumed the role of their mother. It’s good that she has someone who’s her equal and understands “girl stuff,” or so Temari herself says.
L4) Neji and Tenten spent the day walking around and enjoying the festival just as Gaara and Lee had. Gaara ignores the small suspicion that their friendly walk was not as friendly as it seemed, just like Gaara’s own.
Tenten loved getting her fortune told in different fashions than her own practice. Gaara could tell from watching Neji as Tenten recounted the event that the Hyuuga was highly uncomfortable. Gaara leaned over to Lee and quietly asked why Neji was acting that way and Lee laughed, causing everyone to look over at them. Lee explains with ease why he finds Neji’s lack of comfort funny and that he knows when the Hyuuga is mildly disgusted versus when he’s actually uncomfortable. If Neji truly didn’t like anything his friends did, he’d leave without remorse. When Neji stays, it’s because he loves them enough to bear through the situation. Neji stays with Tenten whenever she dives into the world of the occult even though he’s frightened (“I was not frightened—just uncomfortable!”).
“I would’ve thought you were a man of science, Neji,” Gaara says, “I suppose your similar intellect does not mean you view the world similarly to Nara Shikamaru.” Gaara recalls Temari telling him that Shikamaru’s a “cold-blooded atheist,” despite him still being a spiritual man. It brings a conversation of belief in the otherworldly to the table and ends with Tenten and Lee laughing and Gai patting his back when Neji describes fortune-telling as something “sinister.”
L5) Gaara feels happy when he sits back and takes a look at this picturesque moment. He’s also relieved that it’s Lee who recounts their day and not Gaara himself because as gar as he can remember, most of the day was of Lee. He knows he has a stupid smile on his face as Lee talks and so Gaara covers it with a hand. He will not take a glance at his siblings nor Baki as they know him too well. He doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeves but he might as well be shouting it to the world when it comes to his family’s observation skills.
L6) The group eventually disbands to go home. Lee offered to help with clean-up but was pushed away by Temari, though Kankuro looked ready to take the offer and trade places. Lee looked so disappointed that Gaara almost selfishly asks for him to stay but knows Lee needs to rest for the journey home the next day. Lee is the last to leave and Gaara is the last one to see them off.
L7) Gaara’s helping his siblings clean up when he senses Neji and Lee still within the perimeter of the house. Their conversation is finally cut off and Neji leaves while Lee stays in place. After a short moment, Gaara senses Lee walking back to the door but lingers instead of coming in. He eventually moves towards the side of the manor nearest the kitchen window. Lee must be listening to Gaara and his siblings and Gaara finds the behavior odd.
When they finish cleaning up, Gaara waits for Kankuro and Temari to leave before walking over to the window to say “You can come in now.”
L8) Lee sheepishly walks over to the window Gaara unlatches and lets himself in.
“How did you know I was here?” Lee asks.
“Whenever I’m home, I make sure to sense any disturbances to the small grains of sand flowing around the manor from the wind. I could also feel your chakra through the sand on the ground.”
“Ohh that is so cool…”
“Now answer my question: Why did you need to hide yourself in the first place?”
Lee looks embarrassed, as if he’d been caught stealing candy, and scratches the back of his head. He looks at the ceiling instead of Gaara. “I… wanted to spend more time with you and Neji noticed so he suggested that I pretend I had forgotten something here as an excuse to come back. I usually do not condone this behavior!… But I did not know what else to do or say to-to spend more time… with you…” Gaara swallows a non-existing lump in his throat.
L9) He doesn’t know what to say, or rather, he doesn’t think he should say anything in this situation. Lee’s words make him so happy that he’s unable to contain his smile. It’s so easy for Lee to make Gaara happy that it frightens him sometimes. If it’s this easy for Lee to make him so ridiculously happy, how easy is it for Lee to make Gaara feel other emotions? Gaara finds that he doesn’t mind because he knows Lee would never manipulate him. Trusting and… loving… someone with so much power over him, but would never hurt him, makes Gaara’s entire body limp. He’s acting like an idiot but Gaara finds that… he doesn’t mind. He doesn’t mind that it feels like he’s baring his neck open for Lee to do anything he wants with. The imagery makes Gaara blush a bit.
L10) He takes one of Lee’s hands into his own and hopes the other will understand his answer from the action alone. Lee smiles brightly and Gaara leads them to his room, hand still in hand, and away from any possible interruption. His heart beats a little bit faster.
They sit on his bed. Gaara suggests Lee stay over for the night. He has an extra toothbrush and Lee can borrow Kankuro’s pajamas, to which Lee declines. Gaara can wake him up before his team leaves so Lee has time to shower and change clothes. Lee has a small smile on his face—it looks like he’s trying not to smile wider—and nods. He whispers a “thank you” and Gaara waves it away.
L11) Gaara suggests they get ready before talking (or… do whatever). He doesn’t think he’ll be able to stop talking if he starts now, but Gaara keeps that part to himself. He takes his change of clothes and nods his head to the side to motion Lee to follow him. He shows Lee the extra toothbrush and Lee thanks him and walks away.
“Where are you going?” Gaara asks, fast enough that Lee isn’t even out of the bathroom and only needs to turn around.
“I am.. going to sit on your bed to wait while you finish.”
Oh. “Oh,” Gaara responds like an idiot. “You can brush your teeth while I shower. It’ll save time.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
They both look away from each other and don’t mention how they could both brush their teeth at the same time to leave Gaara alone when he showers. Gaara turns and walks into the shower stall. The glass door has a finish that blurs any figure inside, but he takes an extra step and drapes a towel over the door. He’d usually undress at this point but doesn’t want to make Lee uncomfortable so he undresses in the stall, throwing his worn clothes over the door and hangs his clean ones on a hook nearby.
He’s never been so careful about turning the faucet on, never so conscious of his every move. The hot water comes out and Gaara trains his ears to Lee’s movements. Some of his senses, such as sight, are still heightened from his old bijuu despite its extraction. If Shukaku can put dark marks around Gaara’s eyes to make him look more like a tanuki, Gaara could at least get something back in turn. Of course, there was also the screaming in his head, the lust for blood (though part of it was Gaara’s own), deadly insomnia, and the lack of privacy in his head, so the extra senses really were the least Gaara could have been given.
Lee starts brushing his teeth and Gaara wonders if Lee’s also trying to listen into what the other is doing. Gaara immediately shucks the thought of Lee imagining him naked away.
L12) Gaara starts to lather himself up (not thinking about Lee being so close, not thinking about Lee being so fucking close). Gaara’s usually quick in the shower as being born and raised in the desert has taught him to ration water and use the least amount needed but every time he breaks concentration, he becomes slower. Hesitant. He definitely does not not not think about Lee touching him the way Gaara’s cleaning himself. Gaara slows his movements subconsciously and does not think about Lee’s touch slowing while he explores every inch of Gaara’s skin. Gaara shivers under the hot water and steam. There are some parts of his body he chooses not to touch until Lee’s out of the room. He clenches his hands into fists before he does something… unadvisable but Gaara chooses to keep going so to not waste water, he tells himself.
Gaara does not think about Lee’s mouth on his neck when his own hands wraps around it. Does not think about Lee kissing and biting him until he leaves a mark low enough to hide under the collar of his shirt but high enough to show when Gaara moves any part of his torso. He does not think about Lee pinching his nipples when he lathers soap over them (over again and again and again). Does not think about Lee playfully holding Gaara’s nipples between his teeth and rolling them around, the possibility of biting down open but never doing so. He does not think about Lee right behind him, his chest to Gaara’s back, and wrapping his hand around Gaara’s dick. Does not think about Lee grabbing his ass while Gaara holds his own. And Gaara definitely does not think about Lee spreading Gaara open and fucking him slowly, slowly, slowly...
Gaara rests his forehead on the tiled wall and wraps his hand around his cock just like he wants Lee to with those big, wide hands with textured scars. He’d be gentle and slow at first—sweet and teasing. Gaara holds back a moan but it comes back out from his throat as short open-mouth gasps. He whispers a small “Fuck” and fucks his hand faster.
Gaara puts his other hand over his mouth as he gets closer to finishing. He doesn’t want Lee to hear him, Gaara’s usually… loud during ejaculation. But what about the slick sounds of his hand moving up and down his leaking cock? Can Lee hear those? If Lee heard Gaara and wanted to confront him, what would Lee do? Would he be as polite and understanding as he always is and get on his knees to sweetly suck Gaara off? Or would he uncharacteristically shove Gaara onto the wall, stand close enough to kiss, and punch Gaara until he’s out of breath and his nose bleeds? Both sound arousing enough for Gaara and thinking about them simultaneously finally makes him come. His moan is muffled and thick streaks hit the wall to drip down, syrup-slow.
Gaara wipes the tiles clean and finishes showering mechanically. He changes into his clothes and brushes his teeth before walking out of the bathroom, feeling a crushing guilt and simultaneous post-orgasmic haze.
L13) Gaara sits next to Lee on his bed.
“You can take your jacket and accessories off,” Gaara says. “Please make yourself at home.” Lee nods and takes his flak jacket, weights, the headband on his waist, pouches, and finally proceeds to take the bandages on his arms off. Gaara places a hand on top of Lee’s arms to stop the bandages from coming completely off. They look up at each other and Gaara has no idea what to say or do next. Why did he do that? What impulsive thought made him want to do something abnormal for friends to do?
“Oh,” Lee’s face falls and speaks up, “You do not want to see the scars. I understand; they are quite unsightly.”
“No,” Gaara immediately replies. “They’re not ugly; nothing about you is ugly.” His words make Lee blush and Gaara thinks carefully on what he wants to say next. Tell the truth or lie? He can say he wants to unwrap the bandages himself because it’ll feel so domestic for Gaara to do this for Lee or he can say he wants to take a closer look at the strength and durability of the bandages.
L14) “I don’t do this often,” Gaara says. The statement leaves room for Lee to interpret it however he wishes, Gaara hopes. Before Lee has a chance to answer, Gaara’s already scooted over and lifted Lee’s forearm up and down to find a beginning or endpoint to the wrapping. Lee quietly points one out and Gaara begins to unravel it. He makes sure to do it slowly, eating up the time spending so close to Lee. He also takes the chance to familiarize Lee’s arm and hands by touch. It feels too intimate but Gaara doesn’t want to stop, he even takes his time slowly pulling the bandages into tight rolls.
L15) It’s a couple moments of silence and Gaara doesn’t know what to do but fiddle with the bandages in his hands until Lee, thankfully, speaks up.
“Would you like to see something neat?”
Gaara nods and Lee does something Gaara wasn’t able to catch with his other bandaged hand that unravels the wrappings. Lee quickly moves his wrist and the bandages wrap around Gaara’s arms and torso like when he was placed in Primary Lotus years ago. Lee smirks and tugs Gaara towards him but once they’re only a breath away, Lee’s face becomes red and he unravels the bandages. He’s explaining the strength of the cloth and how he’s able to control them but Gaara’s unable to pay attention to Lee’s words when Gaara still hasn’t moved away from Lee’s personal space. It’s only when Lee takes the bandage roll in Gaara’s hand and places them on the floor next to his things that Gaara’s attention is brought back. Lee’s face is still red and Gaara figures something’s wrong when Lee flops down onto the bed and blankly stares at the ceiling. Gaara mimics Lee and takes his eyes away from the leaf nin.
They’re quiet and it’s not the kind of companionable silence that Gaara feels safe around with Lee. Something is wrong and Gaara doesn’t know how to make it better. He must’ve been too… close to Lee, though personal space is not often a concern for his friend. Gaara closes his eyes and tries to think of what to say or do to get things back to normal. Thankfully, it doesn’t take long until he hears Lee whisper “Gaara?” The sand nin turns his head and opens his eyes to find Lee looking back at him. He looks concerned and it confuses Gaara. He quirks a brow and tilts his head and Lee smiles again. He doesn’t understand why those actions get that reaction out of Lee but he’s glad the leaf nin starts talking again.
“I had a wonderful time today. The only thing I wish I could have happened was to be able to spend it with more of my friends—NOT! Not that I did not appreciate spending time with you!”
Gaara takes Lee’s hand into his own and squeezes, hoping Lee knows Gaara understands. “I’m sure Temari felt the same way,” Gaara says. “She likes her friends, but she’d also like to spend more time with her fiancé.”
L16) Lee’s hand squeezes back in excitement. “Speaking of Shikamaru-kun and Temari-san! Their wedding will be in a couple of months—do you know when and where the venue will be yet?”
“No, both Konoha and Suna’s councils are still debating on where it’ll be held. I think if they make her wait any longer, Temari might just run away with Shikamaru and elope… and I will most likely be the one forced to officiate it.” Lee chuckles and Gaara doesn’t understand why what he said was funny but is glad to have made Lee laugh either way.
“Well I hope she does not do that! I love weddings!”
“Have you been to many?”
“Mmm… I have only been to a client’s wedding from one of my missions and to Gai-sensei and Kakashi-sama’s wedding.”
“I heard through Temari that Shikamaru had to put out a lot of fires because of the sixth hokage’s wedding. It seemed like they eloped and had a small group of family and friends as witnesses.”
“Ah, yes, well… That is definitely how I heard it through the grapevine as well, but I do not think it was that bad! It was very romantic and wonderful! If I got married like that—with a small group of family and friends instead of a large crowd—I would not mind at all.”
“You want to get married?”
“Yes I do! To be recognized both legally as well as in the eyes of the world, as two souls bound by love… how incredibly fulfilling that must be!” Lee starts crying and Gaara wonders if he’d ever like that for himself.
He doesn’t think anyone would ever like to metaphorically link their souls with his but he doesn’t find himself not wanting someone he loves (and a certain person comes to mind) to spend their lives together. But then he glances at Lee, who’s muttering to himself about love and the springtime of youth, and Gaara lets a soft sigh out. He could never force Lee to cage himself to Gaara, in the unlikely event they become… closer. He’ll just have to be content with rubbing his thumb on the back of Lee’s hand. The action causes Lee to stop daydreaming and look back at Gaara.
“What about you? Have you ever been invited to a wedding before, Gaara?”
“I’ve only been invited to a wedding once when I was around ten years old. It was only a formality and I doubted they wanted Sunagakura’s blood-lust demon for their most important day so I never went.”
“…You mean you have never been to a wedding before?”
“I have not been to a wedding.”
“But I am assuming that Temari-san or Kankuro-san has taught you the ins-and-outs of wedding etiquette, right?”
“Kankuro doesn’t know a thing about etiquette—” Lee frowns but stifles a laugh “—but Temari has taught me some of the basics. She’s also had Shijima quiz me at random intervals of what and what not to do.”
“Is there anything you do not feel like you understand completely?”
“...I theoretically know how to slow-dance but have never put it into practice because I’ve never found the time.”
Lee gasps and jumps off the bed. He puts a hand out for Gaara to take, “Well you have time now! I can teach you!”
Gaara slowly takes Lee’s hand and Lee pulls him up off the bed. They stand chest-to-chest and Gaara’s sure Lee can feel his heartbeat race. They weren’t this close when they danced in town square and Gaara can already feel his palms sweating. Lee places his other hand on Gaara’s back and Gaara mirrors him. Lee opens his mouth to speak again but closes it immediately, deep in thought. Gaara tries to keep his attention on what his friend says next instead of the warmth of Lee’s hand between his shoulders
“It would be best if we had music playing…” Le wonders out loud.
“Kankuro has a cassette player and some tapes,” Gaara reluctantly pulls away. “I’ll go get them.”
L17) Gaara knocks on Kankuro’s door and walks in without waiting for an answer. He knows if his brother truly wanted privacy, the door would be locked or he would’ve heard… noises from ten feet away. Gaara finds Kankuro sitting on the floor finessing with his Sasori puppet. The thing still slightly creeps him out, only due to its association with Deidara. Temari has harsher sentiments toward the puppet but Kankuro’s ignored them both and Gaara thinks he may be a bit smug about having something that bothers his siblings.
“What do you want?” Kankuro lazily demands. Gaara walks over to where he knows his brother keeps his more banal possessions.
“I need to borrow your cassettes and player. I’ll give it back tomorrow.”
“What the hell do you need to play music for at this hour?”
“Lee’s teaching me how to dance for the wedding.”
Kankuro stops his fiddling to look over to Gaara picking the tapes out. “Bushy-brows is still here?”
“Yes. He’s staying over.”
L18) Gaara turns around to leave after collecting everything he needs and finds Kankuro looking at him in concern and disappointment. The second emotion coming from his older brother is something unfamiliar when it points to Gaara.
“…Did you need these tonight?” Gaara asks and motions his chin to the pile in his arms.
“No, I’ll collect them tomorrow… but Gaara.”
“Mm?”
“I don’t like this.”
“What?” Gaara hates it when Kankuro’s vague.
“I don’t like seeing you hurt yourself. You think it’s harmless but fuck, bro, I see the way you pine over him.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He does. Gaara knows exactly what Kankuro’s talking about. The puppeteer huffs and leans back onto his hands.
“Then instead, have ya maybe considered that he wants this too?”
“Of course he does. He offered to teach me.”
“No, dummy. That he’s stupidly in love with you too. And that this doesn’t have to fucking hurt because it’s not one-sided.”
“I don’t want to talk about this again.” Gaara stiffens and Kankuro sighs. “I’m happy for Lee. It’s good that he loves someone, possibly as much as I… him.” They both know Gaara’s lying. Despite Tenten’s advice, Gaara never learned to be happy for Lee. He hopes for Lee’s happiness and doesn’t get in its way, but that doesn’t make him hurt any less. Gaara’s no longer a demon, but he’s definitely a green monster when it comes to Lee’s love and attention.
“Alright, fine,” Kankuro relents. He sighs and Gaara has an inclination that Kankuro’s unwilling to keep the conversation going because it’s late at night but also because he doesn’t like to make Gaara feel bad about himself. “Tell Bushy-brows I said g’night.” Gaara nods and leaves.
“Goodnight, Kankuro.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
L19) Gaara tries to keep Kankuro’s words out of his head while Lee picks the slower songs out of the pile of cassettes he came back with. It’s easy to do so once their chests come back together to dance. As he lays his head on Lee’s shoulder in the crook of his neck, a thought of Lee wanting this too becomes increasingly prevalent and increasingly dangerous. Gaara’s already too close and any hope that will inevitably be stepped on when Lee and his precious person get together should be pushed away before he hurts himself even more. While he’s humiliated at himself for still keeping himself close to Lee when they’ll never work, this closeness... the soft touches and warm smells… they’re all worth it.
L20) When Lee yawns, Gaara pushes him onto the bed and heads to leave but Lee ushers him to stay.
“The bed is big enough for the both of us and if it is not, I can scoot over!” Lee slurs.
“There’s no need.” Gaara lays next to Lee and their hands come together again, as if it’s something they always naturally do.
Lee falls asleep and Gaara watches him. Both of Lee’s arms move over his head like how a child would sleep but he never lets go of Gaara’s hand, making Gaara’s arm go up as well. The leaf nin starts to snore when his mouth falls open and Gaara taps Lee’s chin up to close it but Lee’s mouth falls open again. Gaara smiles. He turns his body to face Lee and makes sure to keep the hand not in Lee’s hold close to his chest to prevent himself from touching Lee any further.
“Nooo— Mr. Curry,” Lee mutters and startles Gaara. “You need to come baaaack… No, of course ‘m not gonna eat ya…” Gaara smiles when he realizes Lee’s talking in his sleep. He closes his eyes to rest but, surprisingly, pleasantly, finds himself falling asleep.
Notes:
yeah this fic is probably gonna be longer than its original designated amount of chapters <:/
Chapter 11: Lee, Kidnapped
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lee
M1) Lee wakes up to the familiar smell of sterile solutions, the protruding needle on the inside of his elbow connected to an IV bag, and the scratchy sheets distinctly from Konohagakure’s hospital. He slowly opens his eyes and finds Neji by his right, reading a mission report. Lee opens is mouth and tries to speak but only ends up violently coughing. Neji reluctantly puts his scroll on lap and hands Lee a glass of water from the bedside, as if he’s had to do this before.
“Are you finally awake this time?” Neji asks. Lee gulps the water down and tilts his head, unable to voice his confusion because the water’s too slow to absorb into his dry throat. “You’ve gone in and out of consciousness before.” Lee lets the words sink in.
“How long have I been out?” Lee asks.
“You’ve been in and out of consciousness for a week. Your mind and body are still recovering from starvation and dehydration.”
“H-huh? What… happened?”
“What do you remember?”
Lee begins to collect his thoughts and shares what he knows: He was on his way to Konoha from escorting a diplomat back to their village. They stopped by a tea shop. The diplomat sneered at the quality and taste of the drink and they left the shop with only hot water in their tumblers. The diplomat took some packets out of his jacket, stating it was better and offered some to Lee. The leaf nin respectfully declined but the diplomat huffed and gave some to Lee anyway.
M2) After an hour or so, Lee started to feel dizzy. He suspected it had something to do with the drink but pushed the thought away. If he was drugged, there’d be an international incident and no one’s wanted to upset the peace since wartime. This makes Neji arch a brow. Lee knows Neji is more pessimistic when it comes to trusting others because “the only thing everyone agreed on was stopping their common enemy,” or so Neji says.
The Hyuuga’s occasionally become the hokage’s advisor next to Shikamaru when it comes to international affairs. Neji’s not a suspicious person, but a cautious one. There are still foreign groups who still target the Hyuuga clan due to their dōjutsu and the history of greed and violence that’s come out from the Byakugan. Lee’s just glad that Neji is genuinely only interested in peace and reparations and not constantly paranoid like previous advisors and Hyuuga elders. Lee doesn’t like to think that people are always intrinsically deceitful, and it’s worked out in his favor most of the time, but unfortunately, not this time. He knows Neji’s going to be very smug about what Lee plans to say next.
Lee doesn’t remember where he woke up after being drugged. It’s a grimy prison of some sort and there were civilians looking at him. They’re afraid but not of Lee. They looked at Lee as if he was a bomb about to detonate and the proceeding events will harm them.
M3) The diplomat came in with some cartoonish-looking goons. Lee’s still too drugged to be able to do anything but he knows he can easily free himself in a few minutes. The diplomat knows this too but states that he doesn’t need to do anything because Lee will willingly stay.
“And why is that?” Lee asked.
“You will stay here or I will keep your fellow inmates here with you and kill their families off. There’s a village nearby under my control and I know you’re too soft to let innocents die.”
“How do I know you are not lying?”
“You don’t. You’ll just have to risk your life or theirs.”
And so the prisoners were freed and Lee stayed. He’d occasionally be drugged again and loses consciousness for an unknown amount of days. He was not given food but just enough water to stay alive. Lee remembers Neji and Tenten coming to save him, but nothing after. Neji tells the rest of the story.
M4) Lee was missing for a week until Kakashi decided to put a team together to find him. Gai had advocated to have it done sooner but Kakashi thought Lee to be capable enough to conduct the mission in whatever timeframe he thought wisest—plus, sending a team to find Lee while he was escorting a diplomat may send the wrong message to Kumogakure, the diplomat’s home. It would’ve said Konoha thought badly of Kumo and suspected foul play. Neji agreed with Kakashi. They’re both new to foreign affairs and etiquette and tried to do what they thought was right by waiting. It’s a decision Neji will never make again, he says.
M5) They received a letter from an anonymous carrier bird that had blown up after it had delivered its message (Lee winces at the imagery). The letter said they had unfinished business with the Hyuuga from years ago during Neji’s father’s time. They ordered Neji to come to a specified location alone and that they’ll know if he doesn’t come alone. Neji was not able to fight as well as he used to and retired as a shinobi—it became international news as he was such an important figure, haven taken over the Hyuuga household. He would not be able to fight back. Kumogakure is home of many elite chakra-sensing shinobi, as it is one of their focuses in their academy, so trying to sneak another person in would be close to impossible. Close.
M6) Tenten had been working on her espionage ninjutsu and training more ever since she joined ANBU. Neji asked her later how she could hide her chakra signature so well. She tells him about her newfound fuinjutsu skill—she’s able to hide her chakra away, only the tiniest bit left to bring it back to their world. The tiny bit left would make her seem insignificant like an ant at best and commoner at worst. They both know Tenten’s aware of the Byakugan’s range and Neji’s weaknesses. No one knew she was coming and it was reckless of her to do this.
“She’d risked not only your life, but that of the villagers you were trying to save.”
M7) When Neji arrived at the location he demanded to see Lee to make sure his friend was okay and to talk to him one last time.
“What do you mean ‘one last time’?” The present Lee asks.
“They were going to kill me to obtain the byakugan and I’d asked for final words with you.”
“You were not seriously going to give yourself up like that, were you?”
“Of course not, Lee.” Neji scoffs. “I wasn’t going to let you die but I wasn’t going to let my father’s death be in vain either.”
“So you had a plan?”
“I did, but it didn’t matter either way because a sensor had spotted Tenten by then.”
When Neji walked into the prison and saw Lee barely recognizable with his hollowed cheeks and body covered in vomit and excrement—“What? Oh gosh, how embarrassing!” “Lee, I’ve seen you in actual embarrassing moments, this is not one of them.”—he’d almost lost his temper and fought everyone responsible in the room, despite being unable and outnumbered. Neji assumes Tenten was able to see Lee’s horrible condition from wherever she was hidden because he felt a flash of chakra drenched in intense anger before a sensor spotted her.
M8) No alarm was able to be sounded off once Tenten rushed in and fought their adversaries. Neji could only run over to Lee and protect him from the occasional attacker, but he didn’t have to do much. Neji doesn’t think he could’ve done much while he watched Tenten maim the other shinobi. They’re not supposed to kill these men, they’re meant to have brought them back to Konoha for interrogation, it’s basic academy teaching. She’d not only killed, but tortured and dismembered them as well.
In the present, Neji and Lee don’t say anything for a long moment.
They knew Tenten’s been acting… darker since joining ANBU but this is not the friend they grew up with. And… speak of the devil.
M9) A quiet knock on the hospital room door interrupts the silence.
“Come in,” Lee calls. In comes Tenten with bags under her eyes but a kind smile on her face. She looks like she’s the one who’d gone through hell and back.
“How are you feeling?” Lee asks. Tenten chuckles and sits next to Neji.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” She jokes. Lee holds her hand, she squeezes back, and Neji places his on top. “What were you two talking about?”
“Lee doesn’t remember what happened in the past few weeks. We were just talking about how you disobeyed protocol and followed me to that village in Kumo. You’d tortured and killed those who had Lee captive. Would you like to tell the rest of the story?”
“Oh…” Tenten’s shoulders slump. “Okay.”
M10) She admits to her violence and continues their tale:
Neji pulled her back from slipping any further into her rage, told her that each minute she spent on them, Lee is in further pain. They tried to pick Lee up and to take him home but he refused and told them their boss wasn’t there and that he had control over the hostages. He had to stay, Lee says. Neji states that from what Tenten’s just done, the village is already gone. Lee wouldn’t take the chance and told them to leave without them again. They refused to leave their brother behind but Lee insisted they leave because reinforcements will come; save the village and then come back for him. Lee would say he got out and killed all those men after finding their weapons lying around. Neji and Tenten would never have been known to be there.
Neji grabbed Lee’s shoulder and said “We’ll come back for you, Lee. I promise I’ll get you out of here.”
“I know,” Lee replied. His teammates left and neither still don’t know what was done before they came back.
Notes:
Sorry for the late update; I was busy with work, health, and heartache.
Edit: Also I know there's no Gaara/Lee in this chapter but Gaara comes in the next chapter I promise.
Chapter 12: Gaara Finds Lee
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Gaara
O1) Gaara finds out through one of Temari’s letters that there’s a rescue team created for Lee. He hasn’t heard from Lee through their regular letters in the past weeks—assuming it was because the leaf nin was busy. Gaara worries because Lee’s never gone missing before and he’s very diligent about being on time. Gaara sends his fastest hawk to send a letter to Lee and Temari, worried about the former and demanding updates from the latter. He hears back from Temari—no news—but nothing from Lee.
O2) Gaara worries too much and claims he will go find Lee himself, saying it’ll be the diplomatic thing to do for an ally. Realistically, he should stay in the village and have Kankuro’s squad handle it. Gaara leaves anyway, despite the advice of many others, and sends his reluctant brother in charge.
O3) Gaara tries during the first hours of his search to base his efforts on Temari’s letters. When he arrived to the main search parties consisting of both leaf and cloud shinobi in Kumogakure, he’s guided to raikage A and other party leaders, including Hyuuga Neji. The latter is known to not be on active duty since the war so Gaara assumes he’s there for insights on Lee and his captives.
O4) Gaara decides to head out on his own as he believes others will only slow him down. He is aware that Neji is following him but doesn’t call the Hyuuga out.
None of the clues the party gave him nor his own knowledge left any helpful result. Gaara’s frustrated and just wants to hold Lee to his chest… when he remembers the necklace dangling around Lee’s neck and the pendant close to his heart. The pendant held a unique black sand that Gaara could locate if he concentrated.
He’d promised Lee that he’d never use it to track the other’s whereabouts, but Lee will understand the emergency’s urgency. Gaara only hopes Lee likes the gift enough to still be wearing it.
O5) It takes Gaara a moment but he’s finally able to locate the sand, feeling it rise up and down minutely, like the movement and rhythm of a chest taking in small breaths. The rhythm takes him to a deserted valley similar to the canyons in the Wind country. He stops a few feet away from the source and finally calls to Neji, knowing the other will realize he’s being spoken to.
“What can you see?” Gaara hears a quick intake of breath before Neji replies,
“ten meters ahead underground. He’s inside a box ten feet below.”
O6) Gaara’s control of the earth isn’t as precise as what he can do with sand, but they have no time to spare—who knows if Lee can even breathe down there?
He’s able to push the box up from rising the earth underneath it. Using his sand, Gaara unlatches the box and inside is Lee. The leaf nin is dirty, beaten, unconscious, and breathing out of a mask connected to a small oxygen tank.
Gaara rushes and kneels to hold Lee close to him. He takes the mask off and hopes the increase in air will help him breathe better. Gaara checks Lee’s neck for a pulse and his hand trembles. He doesn’t feel a beat below his fingers and looks at Lee’s face in horror. He was too late. Too late. He should’ve headed out sooner. Lee’s dead because of his inaction.
O7) Gaara holds Lee’s head close to his chest and closes his eyes tightly. He feels water running down his eyes and an earth-shaking roar he belatedly realizes is coming from himself. Gaara can feel his chakra spreading out in waves away from his body, reeking of pain and anger. He thinks the last time he’d felt like this was when he was a child and betrayed by his uncle, only this time, the pain and anger are pointed at himself. The scar on his head hurts and he has a impossible, childish wish to transfer it onto Lee.
O8) Gaara hears someone trying to call him from behind the buzzing hive-like sound of the sand hurricane around them. He slowly opens a path to let Neji in. The Hyuuga crouches down, byakugan still open.
“Lord kazekage,” Neji starts, “Lee is still alive. His chakra network and heartbeat are still moving, albeit incredibly slowly. You can feel the slight rise and fall in his chest, can’t you? Stay with him—I will bring backup. Lee will be fine.”
And before Gaara can fully absorb what Neji’s said, the Hyuuga’s already gone running back to the search party.
O9) Gaara puts a hand on Lee’s chest, hoping for something, and lets a held breath go when he feels the very minute rise and fall with the black sand pendant mirroring movement. The violent sand and waves of chakra all return to him. His tears don’t stop but for an entirely different feeling, one of relief. Gaara holds onto Lee closer and kisses the top of his head. Lee smells like death and decay but underneath is still the familiar smell of Rock Lee that instantly relaxes his muscles. Gaara lets himself believe for a second that they are the only ones in the world in this one moment.
O10) Neji comes back and Gaara reluctantly hands Lee over the medinins. He closely watches over Lee for the entire run back to the party and follows him into the medical tent, to the dismay of the staff.
Once he is stable, Lee is taken to the closest hospital in Kumo for a few days and will eventually be transferred to Konoha. Neji accompanies Gaara and Lee the entire time when he didn’t have to handle paperwork and politics.
O11) The rogue assailants are found and dealt with under the Raikage’s orders as their later crimes were held in the land of Lightening. Neji updates Gaara on the cases and Gaara recognizes that Neji is only doing so to take a reprieve and check on Lee.
While Neji prepares the Konoha party to head home, Gaara stays with Lee in his own medical tent, the last of the party to leave. He’s holding one of Lee’s scarred hands in both of his own. Gaara doesn’t want to say goodbye but he’s been away from Suna for too long. He internally repeats to himself that they’ll see each other again, at Temari’s wedding, but it doesn’t ease his worries and the longing in his chest to stay by Lee’s side. He lets his hands go to cradle the back of Lee’s head and traces a faint superficial scar that will be gone in weeks but is striking in the moment.
Gaara doesn’t know what did it, but Lee slowly wakes up. He helps Lee sit up and hands him a glass of water from the bedside table and back once he takes a sip. Lee takes one of Gaara’s hands in his and Gaara’s eyes widen and freezes.
“Is this a dream?” Lee asks. Gaara swallows a lump in his throat and traces the scar on Lee’s cheekbone again to soothe himself.
“No,” Gaara finally replies.
“Then I must be dead and you are an illusion.”
“No, Lee, I’m real and alive and so are you.”
“Then why do I feel so light and happy?” Lee doesn’t let Gaara tell him it’s probably because of the morphine. “Oh wait! It is because you are here with me, Gaara.”
Gaara’s speechless and Lee only grins without a care in the world.
O12) “Come sleep next to me?” Lee asks. He starts to scoot over in his bed but Gaara puts his other hand on Lee’s chest to stop the leaf nin. Lee pouts and Gaara smiles at the childish act.
“We both have to leave soon, Lee. I have to go back to Suna and you to Konoha.” Gaara watches Lee look down at his blanket-covered lap and the pout transforms into a sincere frown.
“I know,” Lee whispers, “But I want to see you again. Every day. I want to wake up next to you every morning… Do you feel the same or am I crazy?”
Maybe it’s all the pent up emotions and adrenaline from the past few days that makes him do this, but Gaara doesn’t care for a reason as he lowers the sand armor from his face and pulls Lee closer by his cheeks and kisses him. It’s…awkward as they both still, so Gaara angles his head and moves his mouth slowly. He feels frustrated when he doesn’t see the appeal of kissing that he thought he understood when he read various romance novels as if they were textbooks. Gaara moves back to walk away from seeing Lee’s reaction but he’s pulled back in by his shoulders and Lee kisses him back.
O13) Oh. Oh. So this is the appeal. They’re both shy and delicate in their movements but it’s enough for Gaara to feel like the morphine from Lee’s body is moving into his own. He realistically knows that’s not what’s happening but it’s the only way he can describe the high he feels when Lee’s lips move against his.
Gaara accidentally pushes his tongue forward and licks the inside of Lee’s upper lip and Lee immediately backs away. He’s red in the face and his hand goes to his lap, fumbling with the blanket as if to adjust something. Gaara covers his face with the armor again. The sand feels cool and Gaara realizes his face must’ve heated up from the kiss as well.
O14) “Sorry,” Gaara apologizes. “I don’t really… know what I’m doing. Or know why I did that. Know why it felt good.”
“It is okay,” Lee says. His eyes don’t meet Gaara’s and Gaara takes it as his cue to leave as he’s made Lee uncomfortable. He gets off the chair but Lee grabs him by the wrist and Gaara turns back to see Lee looking right into his eyes. He watches Lee’s adam’s apple bob when he swallows and it makes Gaara feel something ravenous.
“I will see you again, Gaara,” Lee smiles gently. Gaara wants to kiss him again but could only mumble.
“I’ll see you too, Lee.” Gaara’s wrist is let go and he slowly walks away—
“I will not be able to wait!!” Lee shouts before Gaara lets go of the tent flap. The sand nin turns his head back toward Lee and smiles. He sees Lee’s dazzling grin in return.
Gaara leaves with the memory of their kiss, replaying it over and over in his head, and always failing to stop himself from smiling like an idiot each time he remembers.
Notes:
don't get your hopes up ;)
Chapter 13: Shikamaru's Bachelor Party
Chapter Text
Gaara
P1) Shikamaru and his parents come to Suna one day to see more of Temari’s home. Gaara and Kankuro are formally introduced to Shikamaru’s mother and father. The leaf nin is normally an easy-going and laid-back man but Gaara can see his wide eyes watching everyone’s interactions like a hawk. It’s obvious how much he wants the two families to join together smoothly. Whenever Temari looks over to him, she huffs a light chuckle. Gaara’s never seen Shikamaru try so much on anything and it puts him a little more at ease to know his sister is marrying a man who looks at her like he’d give her the entire world if she asked.
The siblings adore Shikaku and Yoshino. They go out for dinner and Kankuro suggests bringing Baki along. Temari is pleased to have the last parental figure in their lives join them but Shikamaru sometimes looks like he stops breathing, probably because he’d thought of this scenario but an unlikely one. Baki’s an unsociable man but Shikamaru and his parents were able to respect his boundaries and Baki gives what is basically his sign of approval—a head nod for each of the kids, including Shikamaru.
P2) Everyone goes to bed safe, sound, and satiated. Gaara decides to review his dancing, just like Lee showed. He feels a bit silly dancing with his arms up, without a partner, but he focuses intently nevertheless.
Focus…
Focus…
Focus… Shit.
There’s a break-in. Gaara is able to sense the chakra signatures of the two shinobi, despite them trying to hide it. Their intentions are friendly and it confuses Gaara but he’s finally able to recognize that the two are. The two. They’re. Fucking Naruto and Sasuke.
Gaara lets himself calm down, lower his guards again, and be kidnapped with blind-folds and hands tied behind his back. He hears Sasuke mutter under his breath along the way with “I want no part in what happens next” and “This is so fucking stupid.” But Sasuke’s still here with whatever Naruto’s planning so Gaara doesn’t think he means it. He hears Kankuro complain at first then proceed to fall asleep. Shikamaru only grumbles a quiet “Troublesome” and stays quiet the rest of the way.
P3) Once unbound, Gaara finds himself in Konoha. Naruto and the others planned an impromptu bachelor’s party for the groom-to-be. Their first destination is the Yakiniku Q Team Asuma often frequents. Everyone’s arrived and packed into one small booth. Gaara sits next to Naruto on the outside and he sees Lee squished on the inside. Before Gaara can say hello (although they meet each other’s gaze and smile), Naruto wrangles his attention.
Naruto looks back and forth at Gaara and Lee and mentions that it’s cool to see Lee rise up again after being starved and having no memory of any of it.
“…How much does he remember?” Gaara asks.
“Hmm…” Naruto contemplates. “I heard from Sakura that he only remembers waking up in Konoha.”
Lee has forgotten about their kiss, Gaara realizes. When they smiled at each other earlier, Lee’s smile was not trying to convey the same thing Gaara tried. He has no time to talk to Lee about it because he’s sitting so far apart and shouting across the table would take away from Shikamaru’s night. Gaara eats in silence and listens to Naruto converse with everyone.
After the buffet, they go back to the Nara residence.
P4) They start a game of shogi— everyone versus Shikamaru. Neji is the main player who moves their pieces while everyone plans. Shikamaru has earplugs and an eye mask on so that he doesn’t hear or see anything they say. Naruto, Chouji, and Kiba are bored after the first few minutes and bring a CRTV from who-knows-where They play with the television antenna to find a channel. Sai goes back and forth, playing shogi and making fun of Naruto. Chouji states Shikamaru to be the winner.
“Hey uh,” Kankuro grabs Gaara’s attention, “Is your man good?” They both turn their heads toward Lee crouching next to Neji, struggling to pay attention. Lee stands up and starts to bounce on his feet.
“Is your man good?” Gaara asks in return. They turn to Kiba picking meat out of Akamaru’s teeth. Kankuro swears under his breath.
P5) At the end of the game, Shikamaru still wins, though only nearly. He wants to go to sleep but Naruto declares a sleepover. Everyone gathers their things (Kankuro almost punching Naruto for tearing a part of the scroll that houses his puppets). Naruto’s shadow clones run out to buy snacks. They form a half-circle around the television that Shikamaru has connected a VHS player to for them to watch movies. Some of the movies are comedies and some are horror films.
Shikamaru keeps dozing off and Naruto slaps him awake each time. Neji is successfully able to go to sleep with Shikamaru’s clean eye mask and ear plugs. Kankuro, Kiba, and Naruto drink beer, Shino statuesque (Gaara eventually finding out he’s paying great attention to the films), Sai observing and teasing Naruto, and Sasuke occasionally arguing with Naruto about his opinions on the movie.
P6) Gaara and Lee sit next to each other shoulder-to-shoulder. They share each other’s snacks, Gaara nipping at Lee’s spicy snacks and Lee taking tiny bites of Gaara’s flavorless ice cream. Lee would feed a piece to Gaara with his fingers. Gaara doesn’t look at Lee when he takes Lee’s hand in his and wraps his lips a little over the snack, around Lee’s fingers, and pulls the snack into his mouth. Gaara would offer a spoon of ice cream to Lee and Lee would take Gaara’s hand to guide the spoon closer to take in his mouth. He makes direct eye contact with Gaara and Gaara’s breath hitches.
They try to talk among each other but are frequently hushed. Lee giggles and smiles at Gaara like they’re academy students caught doing something wrong. Gaara would do anything Lee asked of him if Lee kept smiling like that.
Lee occasionally joins in on the fun commentary while Gaara listens to the conversation and watches none of the movie. Naruto tries to get Gaara to join the conversation, a very thoughtful thing of him to do, but Gaara would share his opinions and Naruto would say he doesn’t have any “hot takes.”
P7) Lee wraps a light blanket around their shoulders, rests his head on Gaara’s, and yawns loudly.
“You should go to sleep,” Gaara whispers.
“Mmm… no.” Lee mumbles. “I want to stay up with everyone.”
“At least brush your teeth first.”
“Mmmmm’kay.”
They take their toiletries and walk to where Shikamaru says the bathroom is. It’s the first time all night that they’ve been able to be alone and talk. While they brush their teeth in tandem, Gaara thinks to himself that he should tell Lee about the kiss. But then what? They get together? Gaara doesn’t deserve Lee and Lee doesn’t want him anyway.
P8) Gaara feels the water Lee flicks on his face. His attention is back on the present.
“Why the long face?” Lee asks.
“I’m tired,” Gaara replies. It’s true, in a way. He’s tired of always being second-best. Tired of dancing around Lee but never getting anywhere. He should move on. Gaara will always love Lee but he needs to give them space. Gaara needs to find love elsewhere. He doesn’t know if it’s possible but Lee would want him to try.
“Then you should come rest with me as well!” Lee offers.
“Didn’t you want to stay up with the others?” Gaara asks, trying to push Lee away.
“I-I have changed my mind. I would like to rest as well.” Lee’s legs are bouncing. He doesn’t look tired but Gaara won’t ask why. He really shouldn’t let himself indulge in moments alone with Lee, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, sharing a blanket. He needs to move on and not bait himself forever.
“I am a deep sleeper so I will be fine, but do you need earplugs like Neji?” Lee opens the door when Gaara shakes his head. When Lee turns the lights off, Gaara pulls him back by his shirt and Lee closes the door again. Like this, Lee won’t be able to see Gaara lose his strict control and look at Lee like he wants to. No more hiding behind the apathetic face of the sand armor.
“Are you alright, Gaara?” Lee turns, easily finds Gaara’s hands, and takes them into his own. Gaara knows exactly how tall Lee is compared to himself, even in the dark, so he could easily pull Lee down to kiss him. Gaara doesn’t; he only rests his forehead on Lee’s chest and breathes Lee’s scent in deeply.
Lee lets him stand there for a long while. Gaara needs to step away until he becomes too drunk. He reaches over to turn the lights back on and tightly grips Lee’s hands in his.
“Thank you, Lee,” Gaara whispers.
“What ever for?”
“…For being my companion for tonight.” Gaara looks up to Lee’s face and finds the leaf nin disappointed.
P9) Gaara didn’t know why he grabbed onto Lee. He makes Gaara impulsive and it’s dangerous for Gaara to be so influenced by Lee… but a part of Gaara doesn’t seem to care. In fact, he likes acting on his base wants and needs and not having to control himself all the time.
They go back to the others and the noise and commotion have died down. Gaara and Lee head back to their spots and though Gaara wants to sleep elsewhere, he cannot due to everyone having already taken every other inch of space. When they lay down, Gaara turns his back on Lee. If he hears sniffling from Lee, he’ll pretend the other is just cold, despite the leaf nin always having a normally high body temperature.
P10) Once Lee’s asleep, Gaara tries to sneak out. He quietly sits upright immediately and sees Sasuke shoot up with a kunai in hand and sharingan open. Some shinobi are still jumpy after the war. Gaara may not have the best opinion on Sasuke, but his heart still goes out to the Uchiha. Sasuke eventually lays back down once he realizes there’s no danger and Gaara leaves the room to find an uninhabited engawa.
P11) Gaara takes a moment to finally breathe after the day’s commotion. An unknown amount of time passes until he finds Lee walking towards him. Lee sits by his side, their shoulders not touching, and gets right to the point.
“You look upset,” Lee leans over to try to look Gaara in the eyes. Gaara doesn’t let him, averting his gaze. “Not just right now but it started around the time we were brushing our teeth. What is wrong?” Gaara takes his time but he tells the truth… half of the truth.
“Shikamaru and Temari’s wedding is bringing me closer to my precious person.” Gaara finally locks his eyes onto Lee’s. “He’ll be at the wedding and I want him to look back at me. ”
P12) Lee says he doesn’t understand why Gaara’s precious person could be so stupid since Gaara’s “such a catch!” Gaara wishes he could believe Lee. He could never be good enough, he says. Lee’s face becomes increasingly furious but his voice is calm, albeit possibly intimidating.
“You are…very blind. It is him who doesn’t deserve you. Sometimes I cannot believe that I am able to have you in my life.” Lee lists the traits he believes that make Gaara so easy to love. His words are difficult to listen to and Gaara cuts him midway.
“You’re nice. Too nice. You’re seeing traits that I don’t have because you’re my friend and you want me to feel better. It’s… frustrating because you’re usually honest… at least to me. Don’t lie to me, Lee.” The least malicious are sycophants and progressing into the worst is Yashamaru. Don’t be like them, Lee, Gaara thinks to himself. “I have so much to atone for and you haven’t seen how much of a monster I still am.”
“…If we must stick with calling you a monster,” Lee mutters, “then have you ever heard the tale of a beautiful maiden who falls in love with a frightening beast?” Gaara nods. “You are like Beauty—” This confuses Gaara “—because she sacrificed herself for something beyond herself. She gave her life up, gave up love and happiness, so she could save her family by staying with the Beast. Despite it all, she is still full of love and life, beauty as well as brains…and so, so kind… Whoever the Beast is to be able to catch her heart, a heart so hard to grab hold of, he doesn’t know how lucky he is.”
P13) Gaara freezes. He knows those words. He’s said those words in his thoughts once. They were thirteen and they’d fought their first enemy together. He was shuffled into Konoha’s hospital with Lee and… Gaara must’ve started falling in love when he thought whoever becomes Lee’s most precious person will be incredibly lucky to have his heart;
his love.
P14) Gaara tackles Lee to wrap his arms around Lee’s chest to hold him. The momentum of the hug has them falling onto the old wood boards.
“Are you okay?” Lee asks him. Gaara raises his head and finds Lee’s face extremely close to his. Gaara swallows a nonexistent lump in his throat.
“I should be asking you that,” Gaara replies, although he does not know how he could when all he can do is hold his breath as he keeps his eyes on Lee’s.
“Haha,” Lee’s knuckles knock his head three times, “I have tough bones so I am okay!” Gaara is reminded of the time Temari called Lee a “numbskull” under her breath.
They don’t get up. Lee’s arm must be going numb with Gaara’s weight on it but Lee doesn’t say anything and Gaara is too selfish to ask. Lee’s hand is resting on Gaara’s lower back, Gaara slowly forms a fist to grab Lee’s shirt, and his face rests on Lee’s shoulder. His lower back tickles slightly from how light Lee’s touch is. Gaara’s fingertips feel weak from being just a fabric’s width away from Lee’s chest. And being this close to Lee’s neck, Gaara can’t help but breathe him in, breathe the raised pulse taught muscles in. If he’s not careful about keeping his breath steady, Gaara might accidentally let a weak moan out.
It’s impossible to avoid Lee. Lee will always find him and Gaara will always drink as much of him in. Lee makes him unreasonable. If Lee thinks Gaara is worth loving then Gaara will pretend Lee’s precious person doesn’t exist—that Lee only looks at Gaara alone and he can hold Lee for as long as Lee lets him.
And even when I’m away, Gaara thinks, he belongs to no one else but me just as I am his to do whatever he wants with.
P15) Gaara has his mouth on the crook of Lee’s neck and shoulder. When he’s sure Lee’s breathing is calm and slow in slumber, Gaara leaves tiny kisses on his shoulder, wishing he could pull the collar of Lee’s shirt down to touch his skin. It’s bothersome and Gaara holds Lee tighter.
Gaara opens his mouth and clamps onto Lee’s shoulder but never bites down. He wants to bite Lee for unknowingly upsetting him so many times but a carnal part of him wants to bite Lee to make him bleed. To put teeth marks on Lee’s skin. To make Lee his. And when the scar heals and scabs Gaara will bite again and open the wound again and again. Gaara takes a deep breath in to calm himself but only breathes Lee in more. It’s nauseating. It’s intoxicating. He wants to push Lee down and put him in his place.
He wants to push his cock into Lee’s mouth and fuck him as hard as Gaara wants to. He wants to get so close but Lee denies him from finishing. He wants Lee to tease him and lay him down and play with him. He wants Lee to make him squirm. He wants to kick Lee off of him and sit on Lee’s chest to fuck his own hand and spill all over Lee’s face. He wants to push his cum into Lee’s mouth until his face is completely clean. He wants Lee to mouth and lick his flaccid dick and overstimulate him. He wants Lee to make him moan and cry and beg.
Beg for what? Beg Lee to stop making him cry Lee’s name over and over again, the only thing he knows how to say (“Lee, oh…Lee—Ah! Ahn… Lee…Oh, oh… Plea-Ahh… Mmm Lee—“) Or beg Lee to stop making his legs twitch and stop making him cry fat tears? Lee would be the only one, wouldn’t he? To make Gaara feel so much pleasure that it turns into pain, enough to make him cry but he’d want more. He wants to come again and again until he’s dry and his entire body is limp. Lee can use his rag doll body however he wants, please. Push around and bruise him. Lee is the only person who Gaara will allow to hurt him because Gaara belongs to Lee to use and maybe in another dream, Lee can be his.
P16) Gaara whispers to excuse himself for a moment in case Lee is actually awake, to make sure his erection doesn’t get any precum on Lee’s clothes. He goes and comes back to lay on top of Lee again. Gaara whispers a small sorry to Lee despite knowing he won’t have been aware of Gaara’s actions.
Chapter 14: One Wedding Night
Notes:
1) I’ve added an image into chapter 12.
2) It’s my fic and I get to add as much self-indulgent and irrelevant content as I want!! Content from Q3 - Q13 will be about the other Konoha 13 kids’ (love) lives. There are many pairings so I’m not going to tag any of them. If you feel icky about a specific (same-age-group!!) couple, please feel free to skip ahead to Q14 since it doesn’t have too much important information for the story (other than to get a better look into my version of the Naruto world and relationships!!)
3) 07/02/22 EDIT: I've added a diagram of Lee's apartment after Q20.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lee
Q1) Shikamaru and Temari’s wedding. There’s a private spiritual ceremony only witnessed by the families of the bride and groom. The public event is in the River country, a neutral one between Fire and Wind, and friends and political allies are invited.
Q2) The venue is a picturesque area right before a waterfall. The sun is setting and lanterns are strung throughout the trees. There’s the main table with the bride and groom at the front near the water and before a dance floor with other tables encircling.
Q3) Lee tries to catch up and dance with all of his friends since it’s one of the few times they’re all together.
Sakura willingly dances with him and she looks happier than when she was found at the edge of the dance floor, trying not to look like she wishes she has someone to dance with. He tries to catch up and as they’re in a wedding, having romance in mind, Lee asks how her relationship with Sasuke is. She sneers a bit. Sakura and Sasuke went on a few dates but he’s broken her heart too many times to heal. They’re still friends though she doesn’t actively seek him out romantically.
She’s not currently dating anyone—Sakura just wants to build her close relationship with Ino back. They’ve been spending more time together as Sakura takes over as the head of Konoha’s shinobi medical unit and they work together to create a better psychiatric unit with much of Ino’s help. Talking about the other kunoichi frustrates her but Sakura’s also smiles more than Lee’s ever seen her do so.
She kisses him on the cheek and thanks him for the fun. Lee gives her a tight hug, lifting her feet off the floor, and Sakura doesn’t look to be in pain like others are usually in under his embrace.
Q4) Sasuke doesn’t agree to dance when Lee offers, to be polite. Lee lets a held breath go, in his head. He remembers his conversation with Sakura and asks how Team Seven is doing. Naruto and Sasuke have finally become jonin to follow Sakura’s steps. They’ve been training together since preparing for the exams and are continuing because Naruto is still his parole officer. Naruto helps him collect the last remnants of knowledge passed by the Uchiha clan but can’t stand when Naruto complains about cleaning and rebuilding the neighborhood. Sasuke chuckles fondly, to Lee’s surprise.
When asked about Sakura, they must have caught the light because Sasuke’s eyes widen.
“Sakura… said something about me?” Sasuke asks, eyes shifting away. Lee can’t tell if Sasuke’s scared of her or if he’s finally reciprocated her feelings (now gone).
Sasuke doesn’t talk to Sai; they don’t have a relationship.
Q5) Sai has crept up right behind him when Lee finishes talking to Sasuke. He’s the quietest of them all so it’s easy for Lee to jump when his shoulder is tapped on. Sai is the one to ask for a dance, having seen Lee ask his teammates and assumes Lee would be happy to dance with anyone. Sai wants to work on his etiquette and social skills and so they dance. He’s too rigid and Lee has a fun time helping him be more fluid. Lee’s reminded of when Gaara and he first danced but Sai’s touches don’t linger and he doesn’t keep his chest constantly flushed to Lee’s. Maybe Sai-kun is a more visual learner and Gaara is a kinesthetic learner, Lee thinks. Although I have seen Gaara perfectly mirror the habits and movements of those he henge transforms into…
Lee asks Sai how his love-life is, following the same pattern as Sakura and Sasuke. Sai completely freezes mid-dance and looks Lee dead in the eyes and says he doesn’t have room to study romance since he’s still trying to familiarize himself with friendships.
“But if I had to start somewhere…” Sai mumbles to himself, “Naruto is the most charismatic person I know…” He stays frozen in place and Lee tries to keep them moving. He only ends up carrying Sai to sit in a chair instead of standing in the middle of the dance floor as Sai ponders his inner crises.
Q6) Naruto and Lee dance and they try to test how fast and erratic the can move. Naruto has more energy due to his increased level of chakra but he quickly became impatient and they left the floor to catch up with his fast attention span. He’s been following Kakashi around, if not paroling Sasuke, to learn how to become the best hokage he can be. It’s boring work and it quickly agitates him so he’s also been traveling to other countries and villages to help quell conflicts.
In regards to his love life, Naruto and Hinata went on a few dates together. He thinks she’s cute and sweet but there wasn’t a spark. In-between sentences and hidden meanings, Lee is able to figure out that Naruto’s been looking to go out with a guy but is afraid of the consequences from homophobia that might occur against him, even if Kakashi and Gai are the village’s most public couple.
Naruto thinks about seeing someone from outside the village and absentmindedly asked if Gaara is single. Lee does not hide his jealousy and is sure furious chakra is emanating off him. Naruto puts a hand on Lee’s shoulder and says he was joking.
“Oh shit,” Naruto whispers, “Bushy-Brows, do you have a crush on Gaara? I can’t believe it…” He’s probably the last person to find out, since Neji’s told him countless times that Lee’s not subtle when it comes to romance.
“I mean I love the guy—” Naruto says and Lee’s eye twitches “—but he’s like a bro to me, y’know? Kinda like Sakura-chan.” Naruto admits that in another life, he and Gaara could potentially get together but he compares it to Gaara and Naruto sharing the same veins that carry their blood, but Naruto wants someone who he shares the same heart with.
“And have you found that in someone yet?” Lee asks, temper cooling.
“I was hoping with Hinata but no dice. I’ve been looking at… other dudes… but it’s like my soulmate is out there and I know ‘em. You believe in soulmates, Bushy-Brows?”
Lee thinks on it and answers yes, but not for him. It seems like he is a character in a poorly-written novel that never let him see the end of his story arc, including the romance that comes along. However, he believes there are soulmates like Gai and Kakashi or Shikamaru and Temari.
“Or even you and Sasuke- kun,” Lee adds. Naruto’s eyes widen.
“…Me and the bastard? Whaa—t…” Naruto quickly glances toward Sasuke.
“Ah, I must have overstepped. I suppose soulmates can be platonic as well as romantic.”
“Haha, yeah…we’re just friends, haha…”
Lee grabs a glass of champaign from a passing server and hands it to Naruto.
Q7) Hinata shyly accepts his offer to dance. She’s been busy running the Hyuuga clan with Neji to finally dissolve the branch system. Hinata’s sad that she and Naruto weren’t a match but she’s happy if he’s happy. Lee wishes he could be like her since he finds himself easily upset at just the thought of Gaara’s precious person, despite knowing nothing of them.
Kiba abruptly interrupts their conversation and puts his arm around Hinata’s shoulder.
“This guy bothering you, Hinata?” Kiba’s smiling but his canines look sharp. “I don’t care that Lee can kick me out since he has connections to the bride—I’ll still jump him.” Hinata laughs and says no. The two chat and start to ignore Lee. They’re smiling softly and keeping deep eye contact and it makes Lee feel like he’s interrupting something delicate and new. It’s suspicious.
Q8) Lee drags Kiba to the dance floor so he could question him in private.
“I thought you were see Kankuro-kun!” Lee tries not to shout and it makes his whisper sound hoarse.
“Uhh yeah?” Kiba laughs when Lee looks back and forth between Hinata and him. “Me and Kankuro have an open relationship, man. Don’t you know he’s a huge slut? Like damn, if you’re trying to catch Gaara’s eyes, you’d better at least know this very known fact about his brother.”
Lee freezes. He just thought Kankuro was trying to impress others to join the Puppet Brigade. He tells Kiba this and Kiba laughs and leaves Lee alone on the floor. Lee shakes out of it when he catches Shino looking like a fly on the wall on the edge of his eye.
Q9) They don’t speak to each other but if he spoke to everyone but Shino, it’d be impolite. Shino declines to dance, stating he only freeform-dances to music that excite the insects living in his body. It seems like Shino is eager to answer any questions Lee has for him (not many) possibly because it’s rare for someone outside of his team to interact with him.
Shino is not seeing anyone but “wasn’t my childhood crush on Kiba obvious?” Lee’s mind runs blank. The only romance currently happening in Shino’s life is Kankuro demanding a rematch each time they cross paths. Lee completely understands the thrill and bonding experience of a friendly fight but has a hard time talking to Shino about it—or about anything, honestly.
Q10) Standing on the edge of the event helps Lee see everyone including Ino chatting away with Chouji. He leaves Shino to offer a dance to Ino. She reluctantly agrees but eventually admits that Lee’s a good dancer (“Thank you! You are a fantastic dancer as well, Ino-san!”).
Ino isn’t blindly in love with Sasuke anymore and shares that she probably never had been. She saw him as someone she’s supposed to fall for due to “compulsive heterosexuality” (Lee has no idea what that means) and has started to care less about fitting in. She shows the flower tattoos on her arms, the same flowers as the ones she frequently places on Asuma’s grave.
“Ugh, don’t even get me started on my love life,” Ino admits to her childhood crush on Chouji but says there’s an unspoken rule that members of the InoShikaCho clans must not become romantically involved to keep the team balanced. She’s a progressie woman but Ino respects their families too much to break this tradition. For now, she’s just hanging out with Sakura. A small blush forms on her cheeks but Lee’s unsure if it’s her makeup or the alcohol.
Q11) Chouji and Lee go wild on the dance floor when Kankuro (somehow) takes over as the wedding DJ and plays music that makes Shikamaru groan and cover his ears and Temari roll her eyes but tapping her fingers. They cool down by the buffet.
Chouji’s been on more international missions, just like Lee, and is head-over-heels-for a kunoichi from Kumogakure. Lee wishes him luck since he knows how tough long-distance love is. At the very least, she seems to be as crazy for him as he is her; said kunoichi runs to them and hugs Chouji from behind. She “finally” has time to walk away from her duties as a team leader. Karui and Lee are properly introduced and Lee is a bit intimidated of her at first (most foreign kunoichi do) but eventually sees her melt around Chouji (just as the Akimichi does when he looks at her). They become too busy talking to each other to realize they’re slowly ignoring Lee.
Q12) Lee takes a break at his table. Tenten, sitting next to him, chuckles and says she’s been watching him run all over the venue. He talks about his antics and asks what is going on with Neji and her; anything he doesn’t already know.
“I think… he wants us to get married,” Tenten hushes Lee when he sputters loudly. He finds the news to be amazing and wonderfully timed since Neji, with Hinata’s help, has finally merged the two branches of the Hyuuga clan together (though there’s still lots more to do) and Tenten is doing so well in therapy, back to her old self again (though she still has a bit of a cruel streak in battle).
Tenten says they’re only 25 and just because Shikamaru and Temari got married so early doesn’t mean she wants the same. Tenten doesn’t want to be tied down to family affairs and be expected to act a certain way, being the Hyuuga clan head’s perfect wife. She’ll fight by Neji’s side through the clan’s “absolute bullshit” but she knows that as his wife, they’ll be pressured to have kids, something Tenten doesn’t think she’ll ever want.
“Have you told him this?” Lee asks.
“I’ve been… insinuating it.”
“Tenten! He needs to know! Let us go find him right now.” Lee takes her forearm and drags her to Neji. They move to a private area under the rustling trees. Tenten expresses her thoughts and Neji understands. He does want children, maybe not today but someday, and for them to marry. He also loves her and will wait forever for Tenten and if she never changes her mind, he’ll still love her and it’d still be an honor to stay by her side. Lee cries. Tenten hids her blushing face. Neji’s smile looks both gentle and smug.
Q13) Kakashi and Gai are the same, still eternal rivals. They’re currently competing on who can slide the most dining cloths out from under silverware. Lee finds onlookers hold their breath each time. Shizune looks like she’s barely able to hold herself back from scolding the hokage’s behavior.
Q14) Lee congratulates the married couple and hopes the union of two powerful families will be prosperous. Shikamaru jokes that Lee will join the family in the future too. It takes a moment for Lee to realize Shikamaru is joking about Lee marrying Gaara. Lee blushes from head to toe and the couple laughs.
They’re planning to stay in Konoha for their first year together as there are more ceremonies to be done under the Nara clan. Lee wishes Temari luck on her first year in Konoha and if she comes across any problems, she can come to Lee any time!
“…What do you mean?” Temari raises a sharp eyebrow.
“Oh uh, for example,” Lee says, “if you wanted to know what the best curry shop in the village is—”
“Lee,” Shikamaru interrupts, “you didn’t hear?”
“Hm?” Lee tilts his head to a side. “Hear what?”
“I knew I forgot to do something!” Shikamaru slaps his forehead.
“Calm down,” Temari smacks the back of Shikamaru’s head, as though it would cancel the first slap out, Lee jokes to himself. “It’s not that big of a deal.” She turns to Lee. “Since my position as the diplomat between Suna and Konoha will be vacant as I’ve moved onto a different sector, you’re taking my place. You’ll basically be an errand boy for the first few years but you’ll eventually speak to dignitaries and Daimyos.”
Lee’s mouth is open; speechless. Temari chuckles.
“You’ll get to stay in whichever village suits your mission best, but I have a feeling a certain kazekage might want you make your bed in Suna,” Temari’s snorts.
“I think I might faint,” Lee gulps.
“Oy, do it somewhere else;” Shikamaru warns, “I don’t want to deal with another troublesome problem.”
Lee murmurs an automatic “Thank you. Goodbye. Love you.” and walks back to his table. He never agreed to this position—what is going on?
Q15) Lee absentmindedly grabs a drink from the table to chug down but is stopped before he can take a sip. A chakra string is connected to the glass, coming from Kankuro’s fingertips.
“Whoaaa—” he walks over and stands by Lee’s chair, “wouldn’t wanna do that, huh? I’ve heard stories from Gaara and Tenten, I know you’re a Chaos Drunk.” He slaps the back of the chair. “What’s up?” Lee recounts his meeting with the wedded couple. “Oh yeah, I heard that floating around.”
“Is it common knowledge by this point and I am the only one who has not heard of this change??”
“Nah, just heard Gaara mumbling ‘bout it when I was getting some water in the middle of the night.”
Lee’s thoughts turn straight to the mention of Gaara. He knows the kazekage has a hard time sleeping and will wander around the house at night but Lee’s never seen it happen. Ever since they slept by each other’s side after the war, and unless it’s to start the day, Lee’s never felt Gaara leave his side.
Kankuro snaps his fingers in front of Lee’s face. “You good there, lover boy?”
“Hm? Oh, yes. I was also wondering how this could happen without my knowledge. Unless it is an emergency, I am usually able to accept or decline my own missions.”
“Probably ‘cause someone in a higher-ranking position specifically requested for you.”
“No, Kakashi-sama does not request specific people without their knowledge. Maybe Gai-sensei? He is an advisor so I suppose he could technically—”
“Maybe someone from Suna??”
“…You?”
“Someone in a higher position than me??”
Temari? Councilman Baki?…Oh! Oh. Gaara. Gaara specifically asked for Lee!
“Alright now where the hell is Omoi…” Kankuro turns to leave Lee to ponder on his own.
“Oh! Omoi-kun! He is Karui-san’s old teammate, is he not? I was able to speak to her earlier.”
“Yeah? You know where he is?”
“That I cannot answer but Karui-san may know. Would you like me to help you find him?”
“Pfft, nah. We were just gonna go somewhere and bang.”
Kankuro leaves Lee sitting just as speechless as when he came.
Q16) Lee’s been deliberately avoiding Gaara all day, wanting to save the best for last. It’s getting late and people are starting to give the newlyweds their final congratulations and leave. Instead of knowing only one out of ten people there, Lee now knows about a third as more guests weed out. He spots Gaara finally able to catch a breath from politicians and walk over speak to his sister and new brother-in-law. At the beginning of the day, Gaara’s hair was slickly parted to the side but it’s been been more than twelve hours and Gaara’s hair has flyaways. He’s adorable.
Q17) Temari points Gaara’s attention to Lee and Lee freezes. Gaara nods a goodbye to the couple and walks over to Lee who is magnetized and meets him halfway. They stand within arms-length, definitely past Gaara’s comfort-level with others but not with Lee. He always chooses to stand closer to Lee.
“You’ve been avoiding me all day,” Gaara says. His deep voice never stops making Lee’s knees feel weak.
“I keep finding you busy with important-looking people. I could not interrupt.”
“You wouldn’t be interrupting. I’d be relieved to get away from them, plus there’s never a time I’d turn you away. I enjoy your company…very much.” Forget alcohol, Lee could get drunk from this alone.
“You look very handsome today,” Lee says without a second thought. “Very attractive” Gaara gulps.
“You look…good.”
Lee will take what he can get and smiles brightly.
Q18) Gaara tells Lee he was the one who requested for diplomacy and Lee thanks him for his consideration and accepts the mission.
Q19) Lee suggests they dance. It’s a slow song at first but then turns into a slow song. They dance within an embrace. They’re much closer than Lee has been when dancing with his other friends. He’s never seen Gaara touch a person this much and for this long in public. Lee impulsively decides to kiss the top of Gaara’s head and he feels Gaara smile on his collar. Lee lets a content sigh out.
Q20) Lee asks what Gaara’s doing once the wedding ends. Gaara says “Nothing.” Lee asks if Gaara would like to sleep over at his place since he finds Gaara more relaxed when by each other’s side. Gaara agrees.
Q21) The Sunan party will stay in Konoha the following day but Gaara still quickly brings his luggage over to Lee’s place.
After a bit of back and forth, they share Lee’s small bed. They both lay on their sides and play footsie. Lee giggles and Gaara closes his eyes and smiles.
Q22) Gaara rolls his neck and a prominent crack is heard. Lee asks to massage it and Gaara nods. L
ee has a soft grip on the back of Gaara’s neck with one hand and presses firmly. Gaara’s eyes close and jaw slowly relaxes, opening his mouth. His breathing slows and deepens. His brows lightly bunch together and his hand between them start to grip the bedsheet.
Lee’s unsure if Gaara is uncomfortable or is feeling…good so just in case, he asks to touch Gaara elsewhere. Lee doesn’t say he wants his hands on Gaara to massage him but he hopes it’s what Gaara is inferring instead of figuring out the truth that Lee just wants to touch as much of Gaara’s skin as he can.
Q23) Lee gets his hand on the lower lumbar area of Gaara’s back, right above his tailbone. He presses lightly and slowly increases the pressure. Gaara’s rid himself of the sand armor, as he always does when laying alone next to Lee, and Lee is able to feel his soft skin. Lee wonders if the scars on his palm and fingertips are uncomfortable to the touch or if they’re a nice texture to rub against.
He sees it start, but Lee doesn’t stop when Gaara rocks his pelvis along Lee’s hands. Gaara turns his hip so the front of his body hides against the mattress but Lee was able to spot his growing erection before it leaves his sight. Gaara doesn’t stop moving under Lee’s hands. A low moan is muffled by his pillow. Gaara angles his hips back up just enough to let his leg crawl up Lee’s, pulling them closer.
Q24) Lee takes his hand away when Gaara slightly turns his head and lets a more audible, breathy moan out.
They shouldn’t be doing this. Even if they’re not together, Lee doesn’t want to ruin Gaara’s intimate relationship with his precious person. It’s Gaara’s choice, in the end, but Lee doesn’t want to be the instigator, the homewrecker.
Gaara’s eyes are a luminous gold when he glares at Lee in fury. He grabs Lee’s arm brings it back to its former place but stops midway and rests it between them. Gaara closes his eyes and they go back to their normal cerulean.
“My turn,” Gaara whispers.
Q25) Gaara starts caressing Lee’s jaw and lightly grazes his fingers against Lee’s cheekbones. He traces Lee’s eyelashes and eyebrows. His Adam’s apple. He brings his other hand to mirror and trace his own neck. His eyes are unwaveringly locked onto Lee’s, almost as if he’s daring Lee to look away, and Lee gulps.
“Do that again,” Gaara commands and Lee gulps again once, twice. Gaara lightly bites his lip. He brings his fingers down to Lee’s neck. “Do exactly what I do.”
Lee brings his hand to mirror Gaara’s and lightly pushes against Gaara’s fragile collarbones. They move slowly and are brought to the back of each other’s necks. It feels natural when they harden their grips and bring their heads closer. Close enough to kiss. Gaara looks like he could devour Lee’s lips. They bring their other hands to put a thumb on each other’s lower lips. When Gaara gives Lee’s thumb a tiny lick, Lee pulls himself away.
Gaara just wants to get some pent-up energy out since he was bombarded by so many people today, Lee tells himself. His hand lands back down between their chests and Gaara takes in a heavy breath in and out before he lowers his hand and keeps it on top of Lee’s shirt.
Q26) Lee lets Gaara pull the already-loose collar of his sleeveless shirt down to reveal half of Lee’s chest. Lee thinks Gaara must find his body hair novel; Lee with more than average and Gaara with almost none. It doesn’t make Gaara’s curious fingers, looping between his chest hair, feel any less sensual. Gaara’s eyes burn gold again. He rubs his legs against Lee’s, pant legs catching up. Soft skin rubbing against coarse hair.
“Hot,” Gaara grumbles and sits up to take his shirt off. When Gaara lays back down, Lee immediately places his hand on the pale chest, unable to help himself. He feels his way down and feels the ribs protruding from Gaara’s thin chest; down to his tiny, tiny waist. Lee doesn’t know how he was able to stop himself from giving the subcutaneous fat a rough squeeze.
He brings his hand back up and feels Gaara’s heartbeat race on his finger pads. Gaara’s nipples are tight pink buds compared to Lee’s dark brown. Lee wants to play with them until they turn from a rose pink into a soft cherry red. He wonders what noises will come from Gaara’s throat when they start to hurt. Gaara takes his hand and lowers it down and nods to give Lee permission. Permission for what?
Q27) Gaara removes his hand to touch and travel down Lee’s chest again. He lightly plays with the hair below Lee’s belly button that worked its way down, down. Lee closes his eyes and grunts. When he opens them, Lee sees a flash of a mischievous grin, then gone.
Gaara’s hand moves to Lee’s lower back, exactly where Lee was massaging him. He tilts his head to Lee’s with eyes that ask, plead, for something. Lee doesn’t care what; Gaara can do anything to him. He nods and Gaara’s hand starts pushing more than massaging. Lee’s hips rock and he grinds his teeth. Gaara bites his lip harder this time and drinks all of Lee in. Lee’s mouth opens involuntarily and a croaked moan comes out.
“S-sorry,” Lee apologizes. Gaara’s eyes only widens. His pupils mold into animal-like crosses.
“Keep your mouth open.”
Q28) Lee’s freely grunting and moaning. Gaara’s rocking his hips in tandem to Lee’s rhythm. Lee starts to move his hand away from Gaara’s chest to push himself away but the movement brushes Gaara’s nipple and Lee is incapable of doing anything else but repeat the movement when he hears Gaara choke on a desperate moan. He initially only rubs his palm against Gaara’s nipple but moves onto his fingertips. Gaara’s moans are more like short grunts but the pitch gets higher and higher, sweeter and sweeter. Lee wants Gaara to stop biting his lip to hear Gaara mewl from nothing but a single hand.
He gives the bud a quick twist and Gaara calls Lee’s name out in a saccharine whine, begging.
Hearing his name, no matter how incredibly arousing it sounded, brought Lee back to his thoughts. His rationale. Oh gods, oh gods, Lee freaks out in his thoughts, I am a homewrecker!
Q29) Lee jumps out of the bed and shouts a “TOILET!!” out as if the single word would explain everything before disappearing into the bathroom before Gaara can say a thing.
He has a hand on the porcelain sink and another grabbing his hardened cock through his pants. Lee turns the fan switch on, hoping Gaara won’t hear him fuck his own hand and think about pink nipples and gold eyes and moans that were sung just for him. He comes hard and has to wipe the evidence off the walls and mirror. Lee slumps down onto the floor and leans on the foor.
He’ll give Gaara a bit more time to readjust himself into his pants. He should apologize when he gets back.
Q30) Lee walks back out to find Gaara sound asleep, curled in on himself and shivering lightly. The sand nin is normally the one to stay awake and Lee asleep. Lee wraps the blanket over him and lets a sigh out when he looks at Gaara’s face under the moonlight.
He lays down and covers himself with the same blanket. He yawns and bids Gaara goodnight. He must’ve started dreaming when he heard a low but soft “goodnight” back and legs slotted between his own.
Gaara
Notes:
Thank you so much for all your comments! I apologize for not replying to them as soon as possible but I receive and read every single one and always make the 🥺💕 face. I love each and every single one of them and appreciate all of the feedback very very much! Mwah mwah!!
EDIT: For disclaimer, I fully support homewrecking
Chapter 15: Rewind: Genin in the Forest of Death
Notes:
This chapter sets place some time after chapter three, before chapter four. It can be read as a one-shot or as another part of the story.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Gaara
R1) Gaara is on a mission to retrieve a medicinal flower that can only be found in the Forest of Death in Konoha. He also has the secondary task of handing the hokage invitations to his coronation. The invitations weren’t his plan—he’d rather go straight to work as a kage instead of having a lavish event—but he’s the only one headed to the land of fire this week. The truth was that Gaara chose this D-rank mission to just get out of the house. Baki and Temari want everything to be perfect while Gaara and Kankuro are made into gofers, as if it wasn’t Gaara who was becoming kazekage.
R2) He’d also wanted to see Naruto who he hadn’t seen in some time. Unfortunately, Gaara was told his fellow jinchuriki was off training for an indefinite amount of time. Fortunately, he won’t be alone as Rock Lee will be his guide for the day. Gaara didn’t expect to meet his new friend so soon, despite it being Lee’s village. Maybe it’s still hard for him to accept that there are people who want to spend time with him, outside of his siblings.
R3) Lee walks by Gaara’s side to guide him to the Forest. If he was any other person, Gaara would’ve abandoned them to complete his mission by himself. He remembers the location of the Forest within the village and the last time he was there, he made it quite known that he was capable of whatever the Forest and any errant shinobi threw at him. But he likes Lee’s company so he walks alongside the other nin.
R4) What Gaara doesn’t like is being followed by some of the genin in Lee’s company. Haruno Sakura, The blond girl she fought in the exams, and the boy who Temari lost to and subsequently saved were trailing behind them. The shadow-user quickly lost interest and left quickly while Tenten and Hyuuga Neji came by right after to tell them Lee’s not in danger around Gaara. It made Gaara instinctually want to refute their claim but realized they may have a point. He doesn’t want to look into the thought, Gaara would much rather enjoy Lee’s company, so he shoves it down for later. Or never.
Sakura and the other girl won’t budge so Gaara abruptly stops walking. Lee, concern on his face, was about to say something before Gaara clasped a hand over his mouth and transports them away from the others. They walk the rest of the way without interruptions.
R5) Lee isn’t an expert on the Forest of Death but says he had trained inside multiple times since their exam. It doesn’t take them long until they start feeling something burn through their clothes—acid rain. Gaara’s sand can protect them while they find shelter but won’t be able to last the flood Lee predicts. They hide inside an elevated cave . There’s moss on the ground and the walls and weeds sprouting freely alongside. It’ll have to do.
Lee asks if Gaara can teleport them somewhere else. Gaara replies; he can only do so within a certain distance. They’re too deep in the Forest for Gaara to get them anywhere safer.
R6) They make small talk. Gaara shivers. Lee offers to make a fire but Gaara stops him, saying he’ll just layer more sand onto his armor. Lee pouts but doesn’t say anything else, only sitting closer to Gaara.
They don’t make small talk. For a while. And Gaara doesn’t like it. He mentions the silence and Lee giggles, saying there’s only so much he can think to talk about. It looks like Lee doesn’t like it either and starts to bounce his leg. He flips himself over and starts to do pushups.
“There is never not a good time to train one’s body!” Lee says without losing his breath. “Gaara—join me!”
Gaara looks away and places his focus on picking the weeds on the ground. As if I can actually do a pushup, Gaara thinks to himself. He uses both hands to pry the more difficult weeds with roots embedded deep into the earth.
“What are you doing?” Lee asks.
“Weeding,” Gaara answers.
“Hmm… Maybe we can do something else with them…”
“They’re weeds, Lee. These ones aren’t keeping the soil intact—they’ll slowly break the structure of the cave. The only thing these weeds are good for is compost.”
R7) Lee goes to gather the bunches Gaara pulled out after a loud “AHA!” Gaara watches Lee’s hands create a large ring from the clovers, dandelions, and thistle. Lee apologizes for the quality (it looks like a child made it but Gaara keeps quiet). Lee says Sakura is a great teacher and although Lee can stitch a wound with his eyes closed, his hands are terrible with crafts. He places the ring—the crown, Gaara realizes—on top of the sand nin’s head and chuckles nervously, self-deprecatingly. Gaara goes back to picking the other weeds and Lee deflates.
R8) Eventually, Gaara gathers the small bunch he’s acquired and ties it up with a long stem. Gaara hands Lee the bouquet of weeds.
“Thank you,” Gaara says. “For the crown.”
Lee smiles brightly and gives Gaara a hug that ends too quickly for the sand nin to reciprocate. Though short-lasting, it still makes Gaara duck his head and smile. He thinks it must be from the oxytocin released that’s making him deliriously happy. The feeling is ruined when Gaara hears a demonic snicker in the back of his head, saying Lee will be a weakness who will be the death of him. Shukaku doesn’t usually come out anymore since Gaara’s vowed to stop killing to feel love and their motives stopped aligning, so why now?
R9) The day becomes darker and Lee suggests they sleep the storm out. They eat whatever little rations Gaara brought along and Lee builds a small fire.
“I will take the first watch and wake you ip in a few hours,” Lee says.
“No need to.” Gaara’s eyes lock onto Lee’s frown. “I don’t sleep. I can keep watch.”
“But you are a guest! I should be polite so please, even if you do not sleep, at least rest.”
“…Fine.” He doesn’t argue with Lee since he needs time to figure out what Shukaku meant.
Gaara takes the crown into his hands and lays down; crown on his chest and hands not letting go.
R10) Gaara closes his eyes and travels into his subconscious. He finds himself standing in a never-ending desert underneath an empty black sky. Everything is visible from an unknown light source; not a single thing hidden from view. There are ruins from ancient buildings strewn here and there. They’re carved with images and symbols Gaara will never be able to decipher no matter how hard he’d try in the past.
Gaara walks only a short distance to a broken-down colosseum that houses Shukaku. The demon is held down by chakra strings connected and controlled by two puppets on each of his sides. One looks like his father and the other looks like his mother (or so Gaara assumes it’s his mother, based on photos he’d seen of her).
R11) Gaara asks how Shukaku is able to make himself known now of all times and why. The demon replies, saying Gaara’s getting too comfortable around the strange leaf nin and is lowering his guard, making it easier for Shukaku to fight his restraints and talk to Gaara. Making it easier to influence him again.
“You’ll come back to me and we’ll both quell that bloodlust I know is still inside of you,” Shukaku snickers.
Gaara doesn’t argue as it’s pointless with the One-Tail but still ponders his statement. And Shukaku has a point—Gaara still wants to taste the blood taken from others, seeped into the sand. He still wants to rip the limbs off of those who continue to treat him like dirt, despite his change. And if he’s honest with himself, he still wants to catch Lee in his sand, like a cat playing with a mouse, and finish what he didn’t years ago. Lee was the first mouse that got away.
R12) Gaara shakes himself out of his thoughts and repeats to himself over and over, like a mantra, that he’ll be strong enough to keep those thoughts locked away with Shukaku and that Gaara will do everything he can for his village, for everyone he’d ever wronged, to atone for his past actions. He lives to serve for the rest of his life—it’s the least he can do.
Bonds and relationships are what will heal Gaara and so those around him should never, will never, know he still has these thoughts. His heart is an open castle ready to let everyone in but he’ll steer them all away from the dungeons underground hiding a monster. The dungeons don’t exist, he’ll say. There is no more bloodlust inside of Gaara. He’s better than before.
R13) Gaara opens his eyes to find Lee nodding off and eventually falling onto his back by Gaara’s side. Lee flaps his arms out like a child and the sand protects Gaara from being hit in the sternum with Lee’s fist. Coincidentally or not, the crown is still safe.
Gaara sits up to take watch. After hours of staring at the fire, he turns his head over to Lee. Gaara has an irrational thought of wanting to take Lee back to Suna with him, back into his home, his room, and keep him in a glass case just as Lee looks now. He wants to be the only one who can open the glass case to peer at Lee closer. To hold Lee close to him as much and as long as he wants to, like the stuffed bear he had as a child—only this time, Gaara would be able to feel more human the closer he is to Lee.
Gaara stops himself before his guard is lowered any further as he hears echoes of Shukaku’s cackle.
R14) He has potential, but Lee’s not an attractive person (and neither is Gaara) so Gaara doesn’t know why he wants to keep Lee as a companion, if not due to physical attraction. Is it because he’s nice to Gaara? Plenty of people are… cordial… to him, but his siblings are nice to him. Naruto offers a bowl of ramen every time Gaara comes to Konoha, after a mission. Even Baki had given Gaara some advice once; advice that may have seemed fatherly if Gaara was confident he knew what it meant.
Lee’s niceness is more...polite. Sometime to an extreme. He’s especially polite towards women—holding doors open and letting them have the first choice—but he acts that way with guests too so Gaara shouldn’t feel special. Gaara isn’t someone Lee pays close attention to but every time they talk, Lee keeps his never-waving eyes on Gaara’s and it…makes Gaara feel special. Lee makes intense eye-contact with everyone so Gaara has no reason to feel different. Noticed. Appreciated.
Then Lee has to go and be extremely honest and earnest. “Intense,” as others have said, but it’s a good thing for Gaara. It’s hard for Gaara to read others sometimes so Lee, placing his heart on his sleeve and never shying away puts Gaara more at ease around him. Lee makes Gaara feel like his blunt words and small movements are finally seen as deliberate and conscious decisions, because Lee notices everything about him. Lee is earnest with everything he says and does and Gaara, though only showing parts of his heart, lives in the same manner.
R15) Gaara realizes he’s crying and turns his attention back to the fire for the rest of the night. He plays with the crown, turning it this way and that in his hands. He’ll have to leave the gift behind as it’ll decay on his way back to Suna. He should be pragmatic.
Gaara takes the crown and the bouquet from Lee’s hand (with a bit of prying) and throws them into the fire. To keep the flames up longer, he tells himself.
R16) The rain stops and Gaara tries to wake Lee up, which proves to be an impossible task. He makes a sand clone of himself to retrieve the medicinal flower while he watches over Lee.
Once the flower is in his possession, Gaara shakes Lee again. He slaps the leaf nin, but is dodged. And a punch blocked. Gaara becomes impatient and sits cross-legged on Lee’s torso. He leans in and shouts “LEE!” (as loud as Gaara can shout) and it’s able to stir Lee awake. The leaf nin was about to sit up and topple Gaara off his chest but was able to stop at the last moment and their faces have never been closer.
R17) They walk back to the entrance. Lee apologizes for falling asleep and Gaara doesn’t forgive him, as there was nothing to forgive. Their shoulders bump against each other’s as they walk as if there’s something magnetizing that prevents them from being even a second apart.
They share a large breakfast at one of the few restaurants open at dawn and head to the village’s front gates. Gaara fills paperwork and walks back to Lee. They’re both in public and though no one can hear them, they still stand barely an inch apart to whisper. Gaara’s arms are by his sides so his chest could be closer to Lee’s. Lee is grabbing his elbows but neither pushes nor pulls away. His face is red and Gaara assumes he’s uncomfortable by the way his eyes shift to everything but Gaara. The sand nin takes his hand to tilt Lee’s head down by the chin to finally get his attention.
“I’ll see you at the coronation,” Gaara says. It was not a question.
“Definitely!” Lee nods lightly, careful not to bump each others’ heads together. “It is an honor that you had invited me—er—us Konohan shinobi in the first place.”
“I don’t want to leave you. I wish I could bring you back with me. The council is too much for me sometimes and it’d be nicer to have them speak to someone else once in a while.”
“…Oh! You are joking!” Lee laughs and it’s thought-stopping. It leaves Gaara brainless and vulnerable and Shukaku was right—Lee will be the death of him.
“I’m not joking about wanting to take you with me,” Gaara clarifies. Lee’s smile twitches this way and that and Gaara doesn’t know what it means. Lee settles with an odd smile. A fake one.
“Well I am sure that you would be tired of me by three days. I love my teammates but I was stuck in a room with them for an entire week on a mission once and I had never been so frustrated in my life, haha…”
R18) Gaara’s brows scrunch together at the thought. What if he did tire of Lee? What if Gaara treated Lee as if he was disposable and left him to find a new friend at home in Suna?
Lee’s eyes widen and he steps back to lower his head to have it level with Gaara’s. He grabs Gaara’s shoulders so tightly the sand in his gourd stirred a little.
“I-I-I am so sorry! What did I say that was upsetting? I will right myself immediately and as a punishment, I will—”
Gaara pushes himself into Lee’s space and hugs him for a long moment; treasuring their closeness for as long as he can.
“If I ever become bored of you,” Gaara says quietly into Lee’s ear, “I will have someone from Torture and Investigation erase all of my memories of you so I can become your friend again and again.”
Gaara hears Shukaku laughing but his attention is completely on Lee when the leaf nin pulls back, his eyes shining with unshed tears. Lee opens his mouth but is speechless. When words do come out of his mouth, they’re cut off from indecipherable sentences. He makes Gaara smile. Lee’s eyes widen and his eyebrows raise into his hair. The pink on his cheeks must be from having almost cried.
R19) “I look forward to seeing you again, Lee.”
“Wha- huh- oh. Ah, me too…”
Gaara reluctantly lets go and walks away and beyond the gates only to stop when he hears a loud “GAARA!” He looks over his shoulder to see Lee with a large smile and waving his arms in wide waves goodbye.
“I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR CORONATION! BUT I WILL CATCH UP TO YOU IN RANK SO DO NOT GET A BIG HEAD OVER IT!”
Gaara chuckles and walks away once more. It seems like Lee will be the first one out of the two of them to grow into their looks because Gaara finds it difficult to stop himself from glancing back just to see that handsome smile that makes him blush.
Notes:
“so I can become your friend again” yeah 15 y/o Gaara doesn’t have it in his vocabulary to say “so I can fall in love with you again”
Chapter 16: The Father; The Necklace
Notes:
I've added a diagram of Lee's apartment in chapter 14 after Q20.
Sorry for the long wait—I have health problems lmao thank you for all your patience with me.
This chapter may be a bit mild but that only means the next ones are gonna be intense!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lee
S1) Lee wakes up with his arms around Gaara and Gaara around him. His heart beats faster and he swallows. Lee wants to stay in the moment forever but he has to start his morning exercise. He tries to carefully extract himself as best as he can and he swears he doesn’t jostle Gaara but his friend still grumbles and turns away from Lee, tugging most of the blanket with him.
“Sorry,” Lee whispers. Gaara doesn’t reply. “Would you like some breakfast?”
Gaara quickly turns his head and makes direct eye-contact. Lee hasn’t seen the amount of malice in Gaara’s eyes in years and it makes Lee jump. Gaara turns around again to sleep and Lee leaves the bed feeling guilty.
S2) Lee mopes around and eventually leaves some food and coffee by the nightstand.
“Lee,” Gaara sighs. Lee jumps again.
“Yes?”
“Stop sulking. You’re fine. I’m just tired.” His voice is huskier than it usually is and Lee’s distracted.
“…Are you sure?”
S3) Gaara turns around again and flops his hand on Lee’s cheek. Gaara must be very tired to have his guard down and move so wantonly. He caresses Lee’s cheek and his nail slightly scrapes Lee’s eye and it makes Lee flinch. The gesture is oddly adorable and makes Lee fall in love with Gaara even more.
Gaara smiles and takes his hand back to turn around again to slumber. Lee speeds out of the apartment before he smothers Gaara in kisses.
S4) He’s out for his morning run when Lee finds Baki. He asks Baki how he’s liking Konoha during vacation (unlike Konoha for work, like for the Konoha Crush). Baki says things are fine but nothing compares to Suna.
“Like what?” Lee asks.
“The food.” Baki answers. “Konoha’s is too mild for my taste.”
S5) Lee (somehow) manages to convince Baki to come to the Curry of Life’s second restaurant, inside the village, and Baki is able to handle the spice. He says the curry is good and Lee’s glad someone other than Gai is able to appreciate its taste.
S6) Lee has a ton of energy and they spar (Baki accepting apprehensively). While fighting, Lee asks Baki what he feels about Temari temporarily leaving Sunagakure and Baki says he tries not to feel too attached to his former students. Lee asks for him to expand and Baki explains that he knows the siblings see him as a father figure, despite him trying not to get too close. His loyalties are to Sunagakure first so he shouldn’t care for them as much as a father should. He was ready to use Gaara as a weapon in the past.
“And what about now?” Lee asks.
“I would give my life for the kazekage,” Baki answers automatically.
“And what about for Gaara?”
“…I must not.”
“Forgive me for my forthrightness but you seem apprehensive.”
S7) Lee’s distracted and Baki almost cuts him with his wind blade but pulls it last-minute. The stand still and Lee admits his distraction as defeat, despite things going his way.
“…My loyalties are to Suna,” Baki looks away. “I cannot let my emotions sway my choices. I know that if anything unfortunate happens to Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara… as their former sensei, it will be my life’s biggest regret for not doing more.”
S8) Baki starts to leave but Lee stops him with “Wait, Baki-sama—” Baki’s shoulders lump and he turns back. “When Gaara was captured by the Akatsuki, I overheard Sakura-san telling Kakashi-sama that Chiyo-sama arrived to the mission only because she was informed by you of Gaara’s capture. It sounded like you went out of your way when no one else did.”
“I did what I had to do to save the kazekage.”
“And could no one else come to convince her?”
“…No one was going to put in the effort.”
S9) Lee tilts his head and catches Baki’s eyes to show his smile. “Despite your objections, I believe you are not only a good shinobi for Sunagakure, but the best father you can be for your situation. I am positive Temari-san, Kankuro-kun, and Gaara are grateful you are in their lives. And if they do not! Then please know that I am grateful you are their father.”
S10) Lee does the Nice Guy Pose and for thefirst time, Baki smiles and breathes out a light chuckle.
“Gaara-sama is very lucky to have you in his life,” Baki says.
Lee cries and the mood is ruined. Baki awkwardly pats his shoulder.
Gaara
S11) Gaara, Lee, Kankuro, and Baki head to Suna with two chunin from Suna by their side to help escort them. Their guides are Korobi and Yaoki, puppeteers and Gaara’s former teammates when he was in the regular troops right before he became the kazekage. They were the first friends he made after Naruto and Lee.
Lee was overcome with gratitude and cried when he regaled of the events from his previous day: a quiet farewell get-together with his teammates and another impromptu one with the Konoha 13. They were all still groggy and hungover from Shikamaru and Temari’s wedding but were lively enough to bid Lee good luck on his next adventure.
Gaara tells Lee his siblings came together to bid Temari good luck on her first year in Konoha. It was difficult to let her go but knowing she’ll come back to them helps ease their tears away (“Whaaat? I didn’t cry; I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kankuro interjects).
S12) On the afternoon of their first day of a three-day trip, a comet passes above them. It’s close enough for Gaara to investigate and Lee and Kankuro follow. Korobi and Yaoki accompany them while Baki keeps on ahead to Suna to report that everything is okay.
The necklace with black sand Lee still wears starts to rattle and push away from his chest as they get closer, similar to a cartoon heart ready to burst from his chest. The party arrives in the ruins of a cave. A large part of the ceiling had crumbled from the comet, making it easier to find the source of destruction due to the light now able to shine in. The comet was still steaming from the heat of its descent when it’s finally in sight.
S13) The comet is found in the middle of a large, sand-incased carcass the size of a whale. Gaara touches the sand and it crumbles into the wind, only the unidentifiable creature’s bones remain as a gate shielding the comet. Upon closer inspection, the comet is shaped like an egg. Gaara doesn’t touch it in case it crumbles like the carcass but also because it’s still too hot to touch without getting burned.
S14) Lee is pulled forward by his necklace and holds the egg in his hands without a problem. His bandages burn off into a crisp but Lee is composed. Probably because he’s used to the heat of the Gates, Gaara thinks to himself. The egg starts to crack and Lee yelps and drops it before catching it in less than a blink’s time.
A small lizard-like creature emerges from the egg covered in mucus and, oddly, ash. No one moves as the dragon makes its first cry and looks right at the necklace pulling itself from inside Lee’s shirt. The dragon gets close enough to bite through Lee’s shirt and Lee pulls the necklace away from the biting dragon. It whines and its voice croaks.
S15) “Give the damn necklace up!” Kankuro shouts. Lee hesitates but eventually relents. The baby bites and swallows the entire pendant—glass and metal along with the black sand—whole. Its eyes go white for a moment before screeching so loudly and high-pitched that they all put their hands over their ears.
The dragon launches itself up and stays in the air, looking as though it was a ribbon in the wind. It stares at Lee and licks his cheek and Lee giggles. The dragon flies away and the party tries to follow the creature until it flies too high into the sky for them to see. Kankuro suggests Gaara follow it on a sand platform but Gaara tells him that if the dragon wanted to be followed, it’d wait for them—that, and he thinks more human intervention in its life would not be wise.
“But why did it eat Rock Lee-san’s necklace?” Korobi asks the question that’s been on everyone’s mind.
Had it been some sort of sustenance for it? No one knows. The black sand was, as fairytale would tell, derived from the lava the dragon of the Wind buried herself in. Kankuro supplements, saying that it must’ve been the Wind dragon, rebirthed, from the carcass they found it in. Having been raised under the tales and tutelage of the puppeteers’ brigade, Kankuro has heard of many ore stores as a child compared to the made-up ones from Yashamaru that Gaara grew up with.
S16) They start to set up camp and sit around a campfire as the day darkens and Kankuro tells the party what he knows from when he was six and learned how to control his first puppet—a miniature replica of the Wind dragon. As students progress, they learn to control more sections of its body. After their practice, each student had to perform their allocated part of a grander theatrical play held every year. There’d even be an informal competition after the play when newcomers of puppeteering and fan-wielding would compete in a friendly competition. The fan-wielders would try to knock the dragon puppets down while the puppeteers tried to complete a race.
It was an event Kankuro never missed but, unfortunately, was told to never participate in the competition after many undefeated streaks. The only person who’d been able to compete with him was, and is, Temari.
S17) Gaara smiles when he reminisces of his siblings’ accomplishments. They all had the resources to become the best in their field, having been born under the privilege of royalty, but Kankuro and Temari were able to use it to the best of their abilities. They were all pressured to perform well but the two were normal children without any advantages that came with being a jinchuurki. All three are workaholics in their field and that itself is for another story, but it’s served them well in becoming the fearsome trio, the children of the desert, the Sand Siblings.
S18) Gaara watches as Kankuro carves a piece of wood into an exact replica of the dragon they saw earlier that day. He tells them of the brigade’s academy for longer than necessary until he gets back to the dragon, always one to be proud of puppeteering.
Dragons are meant to live forever but have thought to have died long before the creation of shinobi due to their own folly. The dragon of the land of Fire loved flames so much, he flew right into the sun and burned himself alive. The dragon of Wind was said to have loved the sound of music so much that she followed the echoes of her own voice into a never-ending cavern and was never seen again.
They’re meant to come back as the world starts to heal itself and the party agrees that there’s been an increase in peace since the war, but why today of all days? Why not earlier? It leaves them unsatisfied. While they get ready to do rounds of sleep and watch, Gaara ponders more on the predicament. He doesn’t come to an intelligent answer but if he allows himself to be selfish… he’d once thought Lee something like the Wind dragon’s reincarnate. Maybe the baby needed to eat the sand from Lee’s necklace as Lee was its final missing piece. Maybe the Wind dragon is finally coming home to the desert, a sort of peace for the end of her story. Maybe this can be something similar to Lee coming to Suna, coming home to Suna. And maybe just in the privacy of his own thoughts, Lee is coming home to Gaara.
S19) Night comes and after they’ve eaten, Gaara asks Lee to take a walk with him. Lee had been fiddling with the chain of his necklace ever since it separated from its pendant. The Leaf nin hadn’t smiled once, not even mindlessly. They’re barely visible to the others when Gaara asks Lee what’s wrong and if it has to do with the necklace.
“N-nothing is wrong!” Lee obviously lies. He eventually relents and sighs after Gaara stares him down. “The pendant… was a very special gift from you. It reminded me of our wonderful time together at the festival and how it was eventually the thing that saved me by bringing you to me when I was kidnapped. I keep it close to my heart for a reason.”
S20) Gaara steps into Lee’s space and stills Lee’s hands by placing his own on top.
“I can commission another one to be made,” Gaara offers.
“That is very kind of you but I am afraid it will not be the same. That and I do not wish to burden you financially.”
“Lee, I come from one of Suna’s richest families. Finances are not a problem for me. And as for it not being the same…” Gaara steps in closer until the only thing between them are their hands. He tilts his head up to Lee’s, only a few inches away. “I can make you something new, for new memories we can make together.”
Lee’s face becomes red and Gaara leans in closer, as though there’s a pull to that heat that makes Gaara want to bury himself in.
S21) “Y-you do not have to do that for me. Time with you spent together is already everything to me.”
“I don’t have to but I want to. I’d make anything for you. I’d do anything for you…” Gaara can feel Lee’s breath on his face from how close he’s gotten. He takes his hands away from Lee’s to grab onto the front of Lee’s jacket, pulling them closer. Lee must’ve slid his hands to the back of Gaara’s cloak subconsciously because the only thing he looks to be focused on is Gaara’s tongue as Gaara wets his lips.
“Gaara, you… your offer is very tempting…”
“You can take whatever you want from me; I’m all yours.”
Lee shuts his eyes and sucks a breath in. “Gaara, I should not… I should not take…”
“Lee.” Gaara moves his hands to hold onto the back of Lee’s neck. “Please…” He does his best to let Lee make the first move, as Gaara’s never gotten a yes, I want this too. “Please take me.”
S22) The hands on his back clutch him closer and Gaara feels Lee’s pelvis snap onto his own before immediately being pulled away.
Lee turns around in less than the blink of an eye and starts doing jumping-jacks. He does them so fast that Gaara feels like he’s in front of a large fan. Gaara stands with arms crossed and an ego bruised while he waits for Lee to cool off. By the time Lee’s done, he’d already gone back to the campsite and feigned sleep, despite Gaara’s insomnia being common knowledge.
Notes:
I actually wrote more on dragon lore but this is a Gaara/Lee story so I cut it down to only important info needed for the boys lol
Do I think Baki's a good dad? Not really and I don't think Baki /wants/ to be a dad, let alone a good one, but it still /really really/ hurts him to take a step back. He tries to make it up to them once he's retired and is a grandpa, but that never eased his, nor the siblings', pain.
But with the little we got from him in canon though, I still love Baki.
Chapter 17: An Apology and Two Fingers
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lee
T1) It’s only until the next night that the party stops to rest. They all sit around a campfire, eating, sharpening their weapons. Lee’s happy to see Korobi and Yaoki are friendly around Gaara and aren’t just his work colleagues. They're still a tiny bit formal around him, either to keep appearances up around Lee or due to any lingering fear of Gaara they have. Lee likes to think it's the former explanation and that as they get to know Lee more, they can be fully at ease around Gaara and him.
T2) Gaara and Lee sit shoulder-to-shoulder. Lee's thankful that what happened the previous night was forgotten and that he can still sit close to Gaara like this. There's a moment he worries he's acting insubordinate to his new boss so he stands to add some branches to the fire and sits back, further from Gaara, but Gaara only scoots closer back to Lee's side. Lee ducks his head to hide his smile. He pretends not to see Kankuro roll his eyes and Korobi and Yaoki giving each other twin knowing glances.
T3) Korobi fakes a cough into his hand and, apropos of nothing, talks about his girlfriend at home who he misses. They talk a little about her until Lee realizes why Korobi asks Gaara if he has anyone he misses at home or if he's found a lucky person in Konoha. Gaara is silent for only a quick moment but long enough for Lee to start feeling guilty for constantly grabbing so much of Gaara's attention, constantly having to touch him. Lee shifts to pull himself away from Gaara but then Gaara places a hand on his lower back, halting Lee's movements and focusing on the perfectly platonic touch. He has a difficult time focusing on Gaara's words of wanting to concentrate on making sure Lee feels at home in his new job. It’s a diversion from the original question and they all know it but thankfully no one calls it out. Lee would rather stab himself with a kunai than listen to Gaara talk about his precious person.
T4) “You mean poor Matsuri’s going to have to wait another decade for you to even smile at her?” Kankuro teases. Gaara closes his eyes and puffs a breath out his nose, a chuckle, while Korobi, Yaoki, and Kankuro laugh at the joke Lee completely misses. Lee turns to Gaara and asks:
“Matsuri-san has romantic feelings for you?”
“Possibly,” Gaara sighs, “but probably not. It’s mostly just admiration but everyone in the village likes to tease her and me about it.”
“Gaara over there’s Suna’s number one heart-breaker bachelor,” Kankuro snickers. “He gets at least one love letter or marriage proposal a week--Shijima wants to burn each of them on sight but Mr. Heart-Breaker insists on reading each one.”
“In case they have any pertinent information from an ally or enemy.”
“Yeah, yeah, nothing ciphers can’t detect.”
“It’s good to be thorough.”
“Hm, I bet that’s exactly what your suitors want from you.” Kankuro winks and they laugh. Lee can’t help but smile at the camaraderie and casual jokes. He sees a small smile from Gaara in the corner of his mouth and Lee’s glad Gaara has people in his life who aren’t afraid to tease him.
T5) Lee tunes the rest of the conversation as his thoughts, focused on the fact that there are so many who want Gaara’s love reciprocated. There’s a part of him that’s madly jealous and wants the world to know Gaara is his and he is Gaara’s but he immediately reminds himself that they’re not together. Lee’s been actively trying to swerve his feelings away because he respects Gaara’s love for another too much. Still, Lee is a selfish, selfish man. He places a hand on top of Gaara’s knee and rubs his thumb in a circular motion. He feels the hand on his back clutch his jacket, only minutely.
T6) The group starts to get ready to sleep. Lee takes his time to sharpen his weapons (a habit he’s picked up from Tenten throughout the years) and change his bandages. They don’t dirty easily but it’s a routine he’s formed since he started wearing flimsier bandages at the beginning of Gai’s tutelage. After his bandages comes massaging and stretching his muscles—specifically his left limbs.
T7) Gaara asks if he does this frequently. Lee says he used to do it multiple times a day when it was fresh but Tsunade’s healing is incredible so its only about once a month when the pain flares up. Gaara watches him intently while he works.
T8) “Is something wrong?” Lee asks. Gaara is quiet but eventually asks his own question in return.
“…How can you be okay with this?”
“How can I be okay with what?”
“The pain. Having it appear even after all of these years. Aren’t you annoyed by it?”
“I was frustrated at first, but I have grown to accept that it will just be a part of my life for as long as I live as there is nothing anyone can do to get rid of the pain.”
“I know you said you don’t hold grudges… but how is that possible?” Gaara takes eyes away from Lee to stare into the campfire, hypnotized. “I still hold deep anger and resentment towards those who have caused me pain in the past even though they are all dead.”
“You can still be hurt even if the person who hurt you is no longer in your life.” Lee bites with his bottom lip in worry. “Pain has no set expiration date.”
“Then how were you able to see past it? I don’t understand how you’re so calm about this. if I were you, I’d still be furious at me for crushing your arm and leg.”
“But you are not me and I am not you. I am able to let go of the anger because it is how I, with the life I live, am able to survive thus far.”
“And where does that anger go?” Gaara narrows his eyes and glances to Lee.
“It goes away when I am able to pick myself up and show my adversaries that I am stronger than who they think I am.”
“So you live out of spite.”
“I live to prove myself and to prove others that, excuse my language, I am worth a damn.” Lee sits up a little straighter and stops biting his lip. Gaara turns his torso and looks straight into Lee’s eyes to make his point.
“So out of spite.”
“…I suppose one could see it that way, yes.” Lee quickly glances away from Gaara’s piercing gaze for a second, just to breathe. When he looks back at Gaara, the kazekage’s eyes are softer.
“Which means… you must live with so much anger inside of you, just to keep proving yourself…”
“…I would say that I am able to transform that anger into Youth! Into drive and purpose!”
“Isn’t it tiring, though? To have to keep proving yourself?” Gaara tilts his head only a bit.
“But, gaara… is that not what life is? To better oneself every day?” Lee furrows his eyebrows and wants to bite his lip again but presses his hands harder into his muscles.
“Yes, that is a noble goal that even one that I strive for every day for myself… but I must admit that trying to be a better person with every action is exhausting. Sometimes I… Sometimes I secretly wish to stop being the kazekage for a day just to go out into the middle of the desert to let go and destroy everything in my sight. The only reason I don’t is through self-care and therapy. You’ve seen me frustrated before, yet I’ve never seen you resent anything terrible thrown into your life.”
“That is untrue!” Lee stops massaging and clenches his fists. “You have seen me angry multiple times in the past!”
“Angry, yes, but never resentful. I have a hard time believing you truly don’t resent the people who have wronged you anymore.”
“…Gaara, this… is sounding to me like you are trying to say something that I am not capable of reading between the lines, is it not?” Lee holds his breath as Gaara lets a long sigh out.
T9) “…How were you able to forgive me when I’d never apologized for almost killing you?” Lee lets his breath go but his heart starts to race.
“That is because… because I do not expect you–or anyone–to apologize. Life does not work like that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean… people apologize through their actions. You, Gaara, apologized by becoming a better person.”
“Yes, but I did not change for you. I did not become a better person for you but for my own self. I did not, and still have not, apologized to you, neither through words nor actions.”
“That is untrue! I see you regret so much of the actions of your younger self every day.”
“I regret what I did but I never apologized for it. I never asked your forgiveness because I don’t deserve it, yet you’ve still moved on… but have you really?”
“Of course I have! Does it seem like I have not?”
“No, you’ve moved on… but it’s more like you’ve decided to forget, rather than forgive because forgetting is easier when no one has ever asked for your forgiveness before.” Gaara inclines his head foreward. “Am I wrong?”
T10) “Pardon me but I do not need your apology nor anyone else’s.” Lee puffs his chest out and clenches his fists tighter. “I am… okay without it…forgetting and forgiving are the same in my eyes.”
“Lee… you are hurt so much more than I’d ever thought.”
Lee’s hands unclench and his shoulders slump. “…Do you pity me?”
“No,” Gaara takes Lee’s hands into his own, “I worry for you. I’m scared for you. One day you will crash from the exhaustion of trying to push your anger and resentment away and…I truly apologize for being one of the causes. I’m sorry I hurt you in the past and I’m sorry for prolonging that pain by never apologizing throughout all these years. I am not asking for your forgiveness—as I said, I don’t deserve it—but I am asking you, if I may, for your permission to let me heal whatever hurt there is left.”
T11) Lee smiles and tugs Gaara into a hug. “I have already forgiven you but if you must hear it, I forgive you again. Thank you for caring about me so much. I love you.”
Lee hears Gaara’s breath hitch, still unused to Lee saying those three words no matter how many times it happens. Gaara returns his embrace, tighter, and Lee believes he hears Gaara mumble into his shoulder an “I love you too.”
U1) After they part and Lee finishes his night routine, he lays his head next to Gaara’s knee while Gaara sits to take the night’s first watch. Lee tries to sleep but finds himself unable to as his emotions are still active from their talk. It doesn’t help his poor heart that if he opens his eyes, he has full view of Gaara’s face, only an armswidth apart. I really doesn’t help his poor heart that even with his eyes closed, Lee can feel Gaara’s eyes on him.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” Gaara finally asks. The jig is up; Lee opens his eyes and smiles guiltily.
“How did you know I was awake?” Lee tries to whisper to his best degree so his companions don’t wake up.
“Kankuro’s snoring and Korobi and Yaoki aren’t able to mask their chakra when they sleep. You cannot hide yours either but I know that even though you can feign sleep by slowing your heartbeat down, you snore and sleep with your arms raised above your head like a child. You’re too stiff right now.”
Lee blushes and smiles. “What else do you observe while everyone else sleeps?”
U2) “I monitor the movement of sand around me. For instance, I can feel a large sandstorm on its way toward Suna. I’m planning on telling the others in the morning to hurry back to the village in the morning to make plans, but it’s not something we can’t handle.”
“Your observational skills are exquisite.” Lee has to constantly remind himself to keep his voice down.
“There’s not much to do on a night I’m away from my paperwork so it’s the only thing to do.”
“It is still incredible. Your sensory skills could have made you a formidable sensor-type nin in another life.”
“In a life where either one of my siblings became the kazekage instead of me, maybe.”
Lee is reminded of a point he’s always wanted to ask. “If you do not mind me asking… how did you become the kazekage and not them? It is not because I doubt your abilities nor your intellect—”
“I know.”
“—but it is just…”
U3) “They were not as feared as I was and they were groomed by my father since birth to become Suna’s next leader?” Lee nods and Gaara gazes into the fire. His skin looks like terra cotta to be gently placed in the fire to be kissed and glazed. “Suna is different from what it was when I became the kazekage. There are still hints of it, but much has changed since when my father was in power. He ruled with an iron fist and fear and strength was admired. The culture then was afraid of being taken advantaged of by other villages so the strongest shinobi was the symbol of the power of Suna, despite my father’s lack of care to his citizens. He and the council wanted to flaunt its power, even though the people were dying from institutional inequities.
“As to why my father prepared Temari and Kankuro to become the next kazekage, instead of me, we may never truly know. My theory is that my father either believed I’d be dead by the time he passed his title on or that with the help of Orochimaru, they’d finally be able to control me, as if I was one of Kankuro’s puppets. I’d be mindless and imprisoned, only kept alive as a weapon to fight instead of expending so many resources on shinobi.”
U4) Lee is left speechless. He’s always in awe whenever Gaara opens up about his troubling past and vast knowledge of Sunan politics. Gaara looks back to Lee due to the lack of response.
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” said Gaara, “don’t worry over it, Lee. The council chose me to be the kazekage because they thought they could control me psychologically instead of with physical chains. It is good for everyone’s sake that Naruto had changed my view of the world or else I would have been a worse kazekage than my father.”
U5) “Gaara…” Lee’s thoughts jump to another topic, “do you think we would have become friends if Naruto-kun had never intervened?”
“No,” Gaara answers promptly.
“No? I would have liked to think so.”
Gaara looks right into Lee’s eyes, determined. “I wouldn’t have wanted to be your friend. I don’t want you to love me as I was then.”
“Even if I found out about your childhood? You were the way you were because you were hurt. I would have understood.”
“That does not excuse me from hurting and killing others. I would have spent the rest of my life trying to get to you, to kill you, just like how I told you that I tried to kill you while you slept in a hospital, after the second exam.”
Lee fiddles with his bandages. “Do you think you would have succeeded? Or do you think we would be constantly at each other’s throats for the rest of our lives?”
“So long as there are people who love you and will protect you at your most vulnerable, like your sensei had, I would’ve obsessed over you.”
U6) Lee can’t help but blush a light bit and avert his eyes away from Gaara’s. It’d be an unhealthy relationship and he’d never wish for it to come to fruition, but there’s something about being the only person in Gaara’s eyes in such a passionate way (no matter how violent) that makes Lee swallow a lump in his throat. Would each battle between them be as exhilarating as their first? Or would the knowledge of being in life-or-death combat bring out some sort of juvenile competitiveness inside Lee?
Playing around with their lives for what? Vengeance? Jealousy? The magnetizing allure of each other’s attention? His thoughts become too much, too private. He shouldn’t continue, not when there are others around. Not when Gaara’s still looking right at him.
U7) An errant wind blows through their little camp and the fire cackles. Lee hears their companions shuffle in their coats for warmth. Lee’s hair is blown into his eyes and before he’s able to shake it back into place, Gaara reaches across the short distance to push it back.
Gaara’s fingers linger in his hair and slowly moves them down to Lee’s ear. Gaara caresses the curves and slopes and Lee has to shut his eyes and hold his breath. The feeling is heightened intensely with his other senses closed off. The pressure in the air around his ear changes with Gaara’s fingers this close. His fingers skate over to Lee’s face and continues to caress his cheek… his eyebrows… nose… lips.
The touch is light and cautious and Lee’s left brainless. If an enemy came to attack, Lee would not be able to quickly react—all of his focus on soft finger pads tracing his lips
U8) Lee functions on instinct and ignores reason. He opens his mouth to lick Gaara’s fingers. He starts with small licks but Gaara then pushes his bony middle and ring fingers into Lee’s mouth, back and forth on his tongue. Lee meets each intrusion with a laving tongue, coaxing it further in until Gaara’s knuckles-deep and unable to push in any further. Lee licks the salty fingers as much as he can, saliva spilling out from this mouth and coating Gaara’s other fingers. Lee starts sucking the drool back and hears Gaara take in a stuttering breath.
Both their breaths become heavier, audible between themselves but silent under the incessant fire. Lee’s lightheaded from the intimacy but he still tries to chase the feeling further, addicted and unable to stop. He drags his tongue inbetween Gaara’s fingers to thrust onto the web of connecting skin.
U9) Lee’s eyes open fully and immediately stops when he hears the quietest moan above him, muffled by Gaara biting his lip. They both separate out of shock and Lee turns away, onto his side. He whispers a light “Please excuse me,” before standing up and sprinting away. Just like the previous night, he does a thousand jumping-jacks before coming back to see Gaara laying down and Kankuro yawning awake for his watch.
U10) This needs to stop, Lee thinks to himself. He is my boss now and I must not do such unethical and inappropriate things with him. Lee lays down and tries to count the stars in the sky. I will need to speak to him about this soon.
Notes:
this fic is going slow, despite having already finished an outline beforehand, because i keep adding new situations for them to be so fucking stupid in lmao.
lee: i'm going to stop this
french spongebob narrator: many romantic and sexual situations later...
Chapter 18: Who Gaara Still Is
Chapter Text
Lee
V1) Lee doesn’t get a chance to speak to Gaara alone again. The moment they arrive in Suna, Lee is lead by another nin by the name of Yukata to his housing, office, and general responsibilities. The rest of Suna, however, is on high alert and in constant business to prepare for the incoming sandstorm. Suna was chosen in its place in the desert due to its location of nearby resources but also to be further away from natural disasters. The fact that a once-in-a-blue-moon sandstorm is on their way—and a strong one as well—has the village in a state of simultaneous calm frenzy Lee’s never seen from Suna.
In the week of preparation and the storm’s days itself, Lee is left in his thoughts to try to fight homesickness by learning about what Suna’s able to offer.
V2) Lee is politely but firmly, told to stay indoors and out of the way while the people halt all business unrelated to the storm. He trains inside his small apartment (though no smaller than his own back home) (he should stop thinking of it as his anymore, since it’s been handed back to shinobi housing for the next resident). Lee’s only able to people-watch from the window of his new residence.
The people of Suna are usually stoic on the outside, as stubborn as Lee can be (though he thinks he has them beat), and are extremely cautious around foreigners. Despite all of this, Gaara’s told him in letters years ago that Sunans, once they find someone trustworthy, are open-minded and love unconditionally. Lee’s only been able to briefly see this with his own eyes when he spots some same-sex couples preparing for the storm alongside opposite-sex ones. The neighbors work together as if they were all family and it creates Lee’s resolve to get to know the people of Suna better and become Sunan in their eyes.
Gender and love expression and equality in Suna seems to be much more open to Lee than in Konoha. It’s getting better back in his old home but Lee knows that the sneers Kakashi and Gai receive behind their backs are still present, even if Kakashi is the hokage and Gai a decorated war veteran. The people of Suna are quick to adapt to change—as is evident in their quick reaction to the storm—and even though the elders are stubborn in their ways (Lee vividly remembers Suna’s council), they’re much more open in regards to non-shinobi affairs outside of politics.
V3) During the three days the storm is present, Lee also watches Gaara stand on the highest point of the kazekage tower to create a dome from a majority of the storm. There are other wind and earth-style nin around the walls of the village assisting him but it’s evident that Gaara is the majority of their power. Lee only spots Gaara take care of himself once or twice in a day, leaving a clone in his place. The breaks last less than five minutes while destruction breaks havoc in those small increments of time. It’s three days of concentration and power exertion, all dedicated to his village, that saves them. It’s no wonder many Sunans speak to him ins such awe—to be able to control natural phenomena and destruction of such a scale is godlike.
V4) The storm slows down and Lee takes a chance and hops out of his apartment to Gaara. Sandy wind pelts him but nothing he can’t handle with sturdy clothes, goggles, and a shemagh to protect his face. There are other shinobi by Gaara’s side, notably Kankuro and Shijima who sound to be making post-storm plans. Gaara’s still concentrated on the storm, eyes vacant. Lee wonders if he’s paying attention to the conversation.
When the last of the storm is gone and the sun shines on Suna again, Lee is the first to catch Gaara before he collapses. The kazekage is still alive but Gaara’s forehead is burning. Kankuro tells Lee to follow him and they sprint to the kazekage’s manor. Lee is told that they knew this might happen so the kazekage’s team have Gaara’s doctor and an assistant back at home just in case.
V5) They’re met at the entrance gate by Matsuri with concern on her face (much taller than he remember her being; taller than all of them) and another who Lee assumes is Gaara’s doctor.
V6) Introductions are quickly passed as Lee is lead to carry Gaara to his bedroom. The doctor—Ameno—informs them of Gaara’s chakra depletion and stress-induced fever. Matsuri helps Dr. Ameno with setting an IV bag on standby (even now, Gaara’s Sand Shield won’t allow him to be harmed and therefore unable to inject a needle into him) and other tasks, mainly administrative note-taking and informing anyone in a need-to-know basis of the kazekage’s status.
Kankuro is the interim kazekage in the meanwhile and Lee’s amazed when Shijima arrives and handles paperwork alongside Kankuro with ease, as if she could’ve been in political power in another life.
V7) The first few hours while Dr. Ameno heals Gaara was stressful since Lee was firmly asked to leave the kazekage’s room as his back-and-forth pacing is distracting.
Lee knows he should spend this lull in the government proceedings to settle himself in further to his new job in a foreign country, but he worries about Gaara and finds himself unable to attend to his responsibilities so he sets out to the closest market to buy ingredients to cook something comforting for Gaara to eat when he eventually wakes up.
V8) He traverses throughout Sunagakure to find the best ingredients. Lee’s glad to find that although Sunans are private and quiet people, they’re willing to help however they can when Lee mentions he’s on errand for the sake of the kazekage’s health. Lee sticks out, both in his personality and appearance, but people are quick to accept him when they are made of his devotion to Gaara. There are still some who are skeptical of his motives but Lee’s sure that through time and effort, he will earn their respect. He’s used to scorning eyes but it’s never stopped him from achieving his goals and proving others wrong.
V9) He spends half of the day shopping and the other half cooking up an entire buffet for Gaara. People come and go into the manor, sometimes even into Gaara’s room, but Lee is still bummed. Armed with a frilly white apron, he keeps himself busy in the kitchen and, just only occasionally, eavesdrops into conversations. Lee’s able to learn a little more on Sunan protocols through Kankuro’s chats with people who await for their kazekage to come back into office.
V10) It’s almost midnight when Dr. Ameno and Matsuri finally come out of Gaara’s room, finished with their work for the day, does Lee finally have permission to see the kazekage (though only briefly, as Kankuro is insistent on Lee going home).
Wanting to savor as much time with his friend as he can, Lee doesn’t take the time to tidy himself up, only keeping his hair pulled back with a towel found in the kitchen earlier that day. He leaves the apron on and covers the lower half of his face with a mask.
V11) Lee balances a tray on each hand and one on his head filled with nutritious food he’d learned himself as a child, recipes from Gai-sensei, and from a dusty Sunan cookbook he found in the kitchen. It took him a bit of back-and-forth with his pocket dictionary to translate but Lee’s sure he’s proficient in Sunan culinary terms by now.
He knocks on Gaara’s door with his foot and is able to nudge his way into the room after he hears a weak “Enter.”
V12) Lee sets the food trays on the low table in front of the large bed, carefully, on top of the piles of fresh paperwork on the low desk before finally looking up at Gaara for the first time in hours. He’s greeted with a glossy look from Gaara, drenched in sweat in his gray kaftan.
Gaara looks absolutely sick in every sense of the word—his skin is paler than normal, the bags under his eyes more pronounced, and he’s breathing raggedly from his mouth, as if his sinuses were too stuffed—evident from the rags of handkerchiefs laying on the other side of his bed.
“Lee?” Gaara calls out.
“Good evening, Gaara!” Lee greets. “I have made some incredibly nutritious food for you to build your strength back up as I did not see anyone bring any sustenance for you all day! I hope you like it—”
“Lee.”
“Oh! Yes, Gaara?”
“I can’t eat anything right now. Nothing will stay down. I’ve just been drinking water and medicine.”
“Well I hardly doubt that is truly helpful! I can try to blend and purée everything together if that is the case!”
“No.”
“But—but—have you even tried this method? Surly it will help—”
“Lee, stop.”
“—and you will be better in no time! Especially since I added Gai-sensei’s secret five-spices into the mix. Each spice is added five times its normal amount—”
“Lee, I need you to stop—”
“—and I even brought peppers from five separate specialty stores I had encountered out in Suna! I asked Baki-san for help but he was too busy with his duties to recommend me any specific store, only the name of the peppers, so I dashed all around Sunagakure until I found the right ones—”
V13) “Rock Lee.” The manor rumbled and bits of sand fell from the ceiling. The lights flickered and Lee finally figured the source of the deep-nightmare-inducing call of his name: Gaara’s eyes were flowing fold and his fists tore into the blankets on his lap. The bedroom door and the windows slammed open with ANBU and a haggard Kankuro.
“What happened??” Kankuro demanded with an ominous floating puppet behind him. Gaara’s eyes glazed back to its tired state and his fists relaxed.
“Nothing,” Gaara replied. “Fall back. Take Lee with you. I want to rest for the night.” His sentences were clipped and left no room for argument. Stubbornly though, Lee still opened his mouth to voice concern but Gaara looked at him right in his eyes and commanded a stern “Dismissed.”
V14) Lee is yanked out by his apron and Kankuro irritably scolds him about the importance of personal space. Lee tries to fight for his case but Kankuro tells him that just because Lee feels better with a ton of overenthusiastic attention, doesn’t mean Gaara does, and that he’s being “a really shitty friend for not respecting that.”
Kankuro leaves Lee by the genkan and yawns, muttering that he’s too tired to play mother hen this late and that Temari should’ve never left them. Lee defeatedly walks back home.
V15) Lee goes back to work for the next week to contact Konoha and explaining the situation at hand, any rations or help the neighboring village can supply, and to make sure that Temari stays in Konoha and not to worry. It’s a desk job that leaves him feeling restless but Lee knows he’s the best one for the job at the moment since everyone is busy, post-sandstorm.
On his time off, Lee trains, helps out with low-ranking missions (and finds that Suna’s D-rank missions are closer to Konoha’s C and B-ranking ones), and doesn’t have a chance to speak to neither Kankuro nor Gaara in the meanwhile. He tries to converse with Shijima, Matsuri, and even Yukata, but they all politely tell them they cannot speak on the brothers’ behalf (with Shijima being more stern than the other two).
V16) Gaara eventually comes back into office but everyone knows it’s only a poorly-made sand clone with its seems cracking on its face. Lee says Gaara should take care of himself fully before Gaara clips back and tells Lee it’s not his place and that he should speak with him with more respect. Lee is shocked but bites his tongue and complies. Another week goes by and Lee can tell Gaara’s downright rude to the other shinobi and employees, much past rank respectabilities and etiquette. Lee does some slight finessing around Shijima’s office to find when Gaara’s free and marches into the kazekage’s office to confront him about it. Kazekage or not, Lee cannot stand by watching his friend be unnecessarily mean to others.
Lee pushes his stance and Gaara teleports them outside of the office without letting Lee know beforehand. Lee coughs sand out of his throat before finally realizing he’s in the middle of the desert at night with the real Gaara, not a clone, standing furiously in front of him.
V17) Gaara’s eyes are that alarming gold that shine brighter than the stars. The sand barrier on his skin slowly disperse around them like smog, like a miasmic guard dog. Nothing in his appearance, however, was as cruel as the words that come to attack Lee.
Gaara speaks of how no one takes Lee seriously and that his face is unchangeable. He’ll always be an outsider to Suna, to Gaara. Leave while he can, before they crush him. Why is Lee here? For a mission? He very well could’ve said no and let someone smarter to do this job. He could’ve asked Kakashi to let him stay since Lee’s not only a high-ranking shinobi for Konoha, but also the hokage’s step-son.
Is it because he wants Konoha and Suna to become closer? If he truly cares for tat, he can find another way! Then what is his true motive? To be closer to Gaara? To bury his way into Gaara’s heart to crush it? Is that the true identity of Lee’s mission? If this is to kill Gaara, then they’d better get it out of the populaces’ way now while they’re alone. Gaara’s been dying to taste the blood of revenge against Lee for years now, since they’d first fought—the feeling never have gone away.
Doesn’t Lee want to hurt him too? He could’ve been so powerful if not for the injuries Gaara gave him—Admit it! Gaara ruined his life!
“I would have killed myself if I had not gotten better!” Lee shouts back. No one has ever gotten under his skin like this. Lee starts to frighten himself and tries to reign back while Gaara cackles.
“I fucking knew it! You still hate me! There’s no reason you’d want to get closer to me but to hurt me back!”
V18) Having brought his emotions back and possibly due to the nostalgia of when he was younger and under the stars, Lee instinctively remembers how Naruto had gotten Gaara to snap out of his fit and head-butts him hard enough for the kazekage to fall down. Lee kneels down to his level and hesitantly touches the bruise on Gaara’s forehead.
“Are you okay, Gaara?” Lee asks.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Gaara’s voice cracks and his eyes are rimmed red.
“Did you mean what you said?” Lee tries to point the conversation back to Gaara.
“I… Lee…” Gaara pulls himself away from Lee’s touch and covers his arms around his knees and Lee hears the unfamiliar sound of Gaara crying from his crouched position. “…I do. I hate that I still want to hurt you. I’m still a monster and I’ve tried so hard to suppress it but I—I will never be able to change. I am so sorry, Lee. I’m so sorry.”
“Gaara,” Lee holds Gaara’s face in his hands and wipes his tears. “You do not want to be that person anymore, correct?”
“Correct.” Gaara hiccups and Lee smiles.
“Then so long as you strive to become the person you want to be every day, then I accept your apology.” Lee brings him up into a hug. “You are still the kind, smart, beautiful, and inspirational friend I am forever grateful to know.”
“Thank you, Lee,” Gaara sniffs.
“It is nothing my friend.”
V19) Gaara’s knees wobble and they collapse. Lee immediately turns to the side as to not crush Gaara but keeps him in his arms.
Gaara’s eyes have gone back to normal, still red-rimmed but no longer crying, and the sand armor slowly falling back into solid pieces on his skin. Outside of Gaara, Lee remembers his surroundings again, under the stars just like after the war. It reminds him of the first time he realized his feelings for Gaara and the memory makes him subconsciously smile. It’s funny how Lee’s so easily able to interpret Gaara’s subsequent slow blink as a question. Since when had Gaara become so easy to read?
Lee alludes to wanting to confess his feelings all those years ago until Gaara twitches and Lee figures they’re no longer alone. Gaara’s ANBU guards have finally found them so Lee promises Gaara that he’ll let him know another time.
He suggests they go back to their respective homes to rest. He doesn’t say that even though this was an emotionally heavy movement, he still wants to spend the rest of the night awake with Gaara in his arms.
V20) They stand and Gaara tells Lee to hold his breath. They’re teleported to Gaara’s bedroom, now much cleaner from the last time Lee was here when Gaara was sick. Gaara grabs hold of Lee’s arms.
“Stay with me.” Gaara whispers.
“Do you not want to rest?” Lee whispers as well as he can in return, not wanting to disturb the night.
“I want to rest with you.” And who is Lee to say no to such a gentle request?
They get ready for the night and both huddle into the freshly-washed blankets. Lee covers Gaara more with the sheets to keep Gaara’s chilled body warm but the gesture is rendered unnecessary when Gaara shuffles into Lee’s body heat.
Gaara wraps a hand around the back of Lee’s neck and one over Lee’s other hand that subconsciously clutches onto Gaara’s shirt. They’re closer than they’ve ever been and the space becomes more and more insignificant as their heads come together.
“Wait, Gaara—” Lee pulls back. His heart races and he takes a deep breath. “I am deeply in love with you.”
Notes:
I’m so sorry for this chapter taking so long! Writer’s block was like 50% of the reason, the other being that I started substitute teaching and kids are FOUL with diseases that kept knocking me out lmao....
Thank you so much for still sticking with this fic! Mwah mwah!!
EDIT: holy shit
Chapter 19: Interlude
Notes:
a short chapter i'd like to get out of my head before the next and final chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Gaara
W1) Gaara averts his eyes.
They say “I love you” to each other whenever they say goodbye. They occasionally say “I love you” in tandem with their thank-yous. Neither Lee nor Gaara have ever said they were “deeply” in love with the other so hearing Lee give such a statement makes Gaara pause. Is it because Lee is trying to get Gaara to feel better after their fight? A part of Gaara says that Lee means it romantically since they’re holding each other like how lovers would in novels, but they’ve held each other like this before in the past. Gaara and Lee are just more tactile friends than most, it’s nothing new.
But they were about to kiss, weren’t they? Their heads were coming closer and Lee was staring at his lips and licked his own (an action that made Gaara a bit light-headed). They’ve both done much more incriminating things to each other, albeit possibly accidentally on Lee’s end, so where do they go from here?
As the kazekage, it’s pertinent that Gaara’s up to date on information and always one step ahead in the proceeding decision-making process. He’s used to having to play mind-games and fight not only with his sand but with his wits. It’s not often that he’s as dumbstruck as he is now.
W2) Gaara and Lee are in uncharted territory right now and they can either walk back and pretend this conversation never happened, like they’ve done with so many other times, or they can move forward.
Gaara doesn’t think going on will have any negative outcomes. Lee doesn’t seem to be the type of friend who will feel uncomfortable with unrequited affection, as he had feelings towards Haruno Sakura in the past. The only reason Gaara’s never confessed is because he’s jealous of confronting the inevitable rejection from being second-best to Lee’s mystery most-precious-person. If Gaara pretends that mystery person doesn’t exist, he can keep himself in the fantasy of being Lee’s.
And maybe he wants to stay in that fantasy a little longer. There’s always a chance that Lee meant that he loves Gaara platonically but Gaara’s having a difficult time trying to find a platonic meaning to the words “I am deeply in love with you.” He can move forward and ask Lee to clarify his words, but maybe he can be bold and take that step another day. Maybe he can live in this fantasy one last time.
W3) “I am deeply in love with you too, Lee,” Gaara finally replies.
He looks into Lee’s eyes once more and finds them closed…Unfortunately for the both of them, while Gaara was ruminating, Lee fell asleep.
W4) Gaara finds himself alone in his bed the next day and is temporarily disappointed until he finds a note by his side. Gaara recognizes it as a sheet of paper torn from the notebook Lee always keeps on his person to jot down notes of his teacher’s wisdom.
I am on my morning run and will hopefully be back before you wake!! Please do not worry and feel free to start your day without me!! -Lee
A small smile forms on Gaara’s lips. He has a small fanciful thought of swallowing the note to keep Lee with him a little longer. Maybe it’ll unrealistically absorb itself into his heart but Gaara pushes the thought away. The only thing he has to show as physical proof he has a heart capable of love and being loved, outside of the one trapped inside him, is the conch shell Lee gave him all those years ago. It’s definitely heartier than his own that bleeds, but it’s just as red.
W5) Gaara wishes he could show Lee how dear the gift still is to him after all this time. Gift it to him back, while still keeping a part of it with himself. He’d once told Lee that Sunans don’t celebrate their birthdays but he was young and it was one of the many lies his father told to not only him, but his siblings as well, to keep thoughts of extravagances away from their duties as shinobi. Gaara receives many gifts now, as kazekage, but most are for political gain or pageantry. When he was better acquainted with the occasion, he should’ve known that the unreasonable wish to gift Lee something every day was due to his affections.
W6) Maybe it wasn’t a special occasion but Gaara can think up reasons and excuses on the top of his head. He gets out of bed to walk towards the shell displayed on one of his bookshelves and carefully, carefully, snaps a coin-sized bit off the body. Now to wake Kankuro up…
Notes:
conch shell from chapter 3
update april 16, 2023: added multiple images to ch.3, one at the end of ch.9.
Chapter 20: End
Notes:
april 16, 2023: Added many images to ch. 3, one image in ch.9.
Finally: Thank you for giving me one last chance at this fic.
Chapter Text
Gaara
X1) Lee comes back later than his run normally takes him with groceries in hand.
“I apologize for coming back so late!” Lee puts the items away and lets Gaara help, if only a tiny bit. “I had hoped you would sleep in a little longer since it is your day off. I stopped by the market to grab some food to make breakfast for us; I hope you did not have any plans.”
“I don’t have anything planned for this morning,” Gaara takes a the fruits and vegetables from Lee to wash. Gaara doesn’t take the initiative with the other items; his skill in the kitchen only comes to the little amount Baki taught him over a decade ago. “Your tardiness worked in my favor since I made plans in the meanwhile. I know we go back to work tomorrow but I wanted to take you to the greenhouses after closing at nine.”
“I would go anywhere with you, Gaara,” Lee smiles softly and Gaara wonders if Lee knows how deeply his words can effect Gaara, as if to push and see how far he can make the kazekage blush. Gaara knows Lee’s not that cruel and keeps his face neutral, executed only through a lifetime’s worth of practiced stoicism.
X2) Even though Gaara and Lee have plans together later, they still spent their time together doing chores, training, and enjoying every moment of quiet together. Even with mundane activities they could do on their own, neither mention the impracticality of working together. Gaara wonders if this bittersweet feeling he associates with being around Lee will stay after what he plans to tell the other later that day. He wonders if this intense happiness, this love, will always be irrevocably associated with rejection.
X3) The day quickly turns into night. Gaara avoids any knowing stares Kankuro makes while they eat dinner and hopes Lee doesn’t say anything about Kankuro’s suspicious comments in regards to, as Kankuro put it, their “date night.” His brother’s actions don’t worry him but the fear that the gift he’s going to hand to Lee in the greenhouse will fall out of his pocket does, as if some divine hand will rip it away from Gaara. He tries to divert his attention to the nice meal, spent with his loved ones, instead.
X4) Gaara and Lee arrive at the largest of the greenhouses past closing time. Gaara had requested everyone employed in the gardens that night to go home, that he’d take care of operations in the meanwhile. He created sand clones of himself to look over what was necessary and instructed his ANBU as backup in case something went awry. The only sounds in the building were their footsteps and the mechanical hum of temperature control systems in place. When they speak, Gaara feels as if he was inside the vast halls of the temples he rarely frequents.
X5) They reach the highest level of the building and stop to rest in front of the handrails lining the panels of windows overlooking the village. They chose to keep the overhead building lights off as the moonlight was able to cover everything in sight, washing them all in a quiet blue. Gaara never wants this moment of peace to end but knows he’d been stalling all day.
X6) “I have a gift for you,” Gaara touches Lee’s arm. “Close your eyes.” Lee smiles and complies.
“I did not know we were exchanging gifts today or else I would have prepared something,” Lee continues to smile. Gaara walks behind Lee and drags his hand in tandem, from Lee’s arm to his shoulders, down to the middle of his back, until he finally lets go to take the gift from his pocket. Gaara wraps the gift, a necklace, around Lee’s neck.
“You can open them now,” Gaara returns to his spot on Lee’s right. He hears a small gasp from Lee as the other holds the pendant up to appreciate it closer. “It’s a piece of the conch shell—”
“—the one I gave you for your birthday,” Lee whispers, quick to realize.
“—yes. I wrapped a coating of indestructible glass around it—as strong as the armor on my body as I could make it to be—so it would not shatter during missions nor training. I had Kankuro help me earlier today with putting a jump ring through it first, to make the necklace. You were upset that the previous necklace I gave you was taken away from you so this is only a replacement, no need to get me anything in return.”
“Are you sure?” Lee is still smiling, now in awe. “You know I would give you anything you want.”
X7) Gaara averts his eyes to his own hands, moved away from himself to tightly clutch the railing.
“I’d always thought of that conch shell as a part of me but I was wrong. Your present had never reminded me of myself, but of us. It… is only fitting that you hold a part of me as I held a part of you.”
Lee doesn’t reply for a while and it makes Gaara curious enough to look back up to him. Lee’s looking up towards the sky. He holds onto the railings, next to Gaara.
“I keep forgetting that I cannot see the stars in Suna,” Lee’s voice cracks slightly. It’s an obvious attempt to try to avert Gaara’s attention away from Lee’s incoming tears and while Gaara doesn’t say anything, he refuses to part his eyes from Lee. Gaara covers Lee’s hand with his and the action finally makes Lee look down, tears falling freely.
X8) “We need to stop this, Gaara.” Lee doesn’t pull his hand away. “I thought that.. you were just ill or tired or…sexually frustrated and that is why we keep finding ourselves in…unseemly situations but—” he sniffs “—but this is something you should give to your precious person. It is not something for a friend you hold dear to your heart but… for the one you are in love with. This present—these words—they are not meant for me. I understand that your understanding of social manners are different from others so I will let this pass if you please… please take them back and give it to him instead.”
“I know exactly what I’m doing and what my social manners are conveying.” They both know Gaara thinks too much, rather than too little, with how deeply the world scrutinizes him. “I won’t take it back,” Gaara clutches Lee’s hand tighter. “I love him as much as I love you.”
“I…” Lee pauses and stops crying; blinking rapidly, “I do not understand.”
X9) “Ask me who he is.” Gaara sees Lee swallow a lump in his throat.
“Does he live in Suna?” He’s stalling.
“Yes.”
“Is he a strong shinobi?”
“One of the strongest I know.”
“Does he make you happy?”
“More than I can understand.”
“Is he, uh…” Lee’s running out of questions. Good. “Is he good at taijutsu?”
“The best, I’m sure.”
“…Is it Shira-kun?”
“What?” Gaara is taken back. “No. I haven’t seen nor spoken to Shira in years, since his wedding, Lee. You were there.”
“Oh… well, does he enjoy being a Sunan shinobi?”
“He is not a sunan shinobi.”
“Wh—but you said he lived… here…”
“He is not from Suna.” Gaara sees recognition in Lee’s eyes; another gulp.
“Is he from Konoha?”
“Yes.”
“Is he standing right in front of you?”
“Yes.” Gaara smiles when Lee squeaks.
“Can he… can he kiss you?”
“What?” It’s Gaara’s turn to be confused. “Lee, you… love someone else.” Lee finally smiles, as if there was a secret joke only he knew.
X10) “Gaara…please ask me who my precious person is.” Lee smiles a little brighter when Gaara sighs out from his nose.
“Does he live in Suna?” Gaara might as well copy the questions Lee had asked to play along.
“Yes, he was born and raised here!” Someone who Gaara could’ve regularly walked past. Jealousy starts to rise inside of him and Gaara bites his lip to crush it down.
“Is he a strong shinobi?”
“The absolute strongest.” Suspicious, Gaara thinks.
“And he’s not Naruto, right?” Just in case.
“Er-no? He never has been Naruto-kun.” Good.
“Does he make you happy?” Gaara doesn’t want to hear it.
“He does! My heart feels like it skips a beat whenever we look at each other.” Jealousy again.
“Is he good at taijutsu?”
“He…” Huh. “He is getting better!” How strong could he really be?
“And does he enjoy being a shinobi from Suna?”
“I would like to think so—he is the kazekage, after all.”
X11) Lee once said he forgets that the stars are hidden under Suna’s night sky due to light pollution but Gaara has another theory: that all the stars are hidden in Lee’s eyes, finally showing their splendor to Gaara alone. It’s something he knows to be untrue and would never utter aloud but despite how ludicrous, Lee’s splendor still shines. Gaara wonders if he could reach out and take them from Lee for himself, to keep a few, out of the billions in the galaxy, into his own hands. The meaning of Lee’s words absorb themself slowly into Gaara’s heart and he realizes, with a force like the very first hit Lee landed on him when they first met, that Lee would give all the stars everything he has for Gaara. Concepts of worthiness or skill or goodness, all made irrelevant and unimportant with Lee’s admission. It takes all of Gaara’s breath to keep talking.
“Is he standing right in front of you?”
“Yes, he is.” Every one of Lee’s responses makes Gaara bolder. He moves closer and Lee mirrors him. Gaara grabs onto Lee’s arms, as if his legs have stopped working, and Lee cups Gaara’s elbows to keep him upright. He watches Lee lick his lips. Gaara inches himself closer until he is unable, overwhelmed, to focus on his other senses when his lips barely touch Lee’s.
“Can he kiss you?”
“There could not be a single thing I want more from him.”
Chapter 21: Epilogue
Summary:
Just smut.
Chapter Text
Gaara
Y1) And so they kiss.
Y2) Gaara smiles when they part, a subconscious action. Lee’s grin wobbles and it has Gaara wondering if Lee will cry again.
“I hope you’ll remember our kiss this time,” Gaara reaches for Lee’s cheek but quickly decides it might be too intimate and settles on Lee’s neck, which, unfortunately, ends up being more amorous. Fortunately.
“Wha—huh?” Lee covers Gaara’s hand with his own.
“It was when you were kidnapped,” Gaara almost rolls his eyes. “We can talk about it another time; this is a better first-kiss, anyway.” First or fiftieth kiss, Gaara’s not so picky so long as he can satiate his desire for more.
Y3) Lee leans in for another before stopping himself. “May I kiss you again?”
“You may,” Gaara smiles at Lee’s courtesy. “And you may forgo asking me; I doubt there’s anything you could do that I won’t agree to.” Subtle as they usually are, though not outside of moonlight, Gaara sees Lee's pupils expand at his words.
Lee brings a hand up to Gaara’s neck, mirroring him. Gaara watches Lee close his eyes and purse his lips, nervousness written all over his face. Gaara moves in again but kisses Lee’s cheek this time. He hears a small relieved sigh from Lee as Gaara lingers. Gaara drags his lips to Lee’s ear and speaks as softly as he can, though his voice still comes off low and raspy.
“We don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” Gaara feels arrogant with how easy it is to make Lee breathless.
Y4) “I want to,” Lee replies after a big breath, “And I want you. I have just… never really done this before.”
“What? Kiss someone?” Gaara moves the hand on Lee’s neck to cradle the back of Lee’s skull. His fingers slowly move through Lee’s hair.
“Yes,” Lee is manually controlling his breathing now. Gaara suspects it to be used as a distraction from becoming too overwhelmed. Gaara grazes his teeth on Lee’s jaw to bring him back, to put his full attention on Gaara again. Lee gasps and Gaara finds himself uncaring of his own selfishness.
“Don’t worry about it,” Gaara assures. He replaces his teeth for lips and mouths at Lee’s jaw, removing them only to speak. “You’re not so bad; better than the worse kiss I’ve had.”
“You’ve uh…” Gaara smiles at Lee’s use of a contraction. Lee’s distracted again but Gaara knows he is what’s making Lee lose his proper way of speech. “Not that I’m—I am glad you have experience but uh—I didn’t—did not— know you’ve had partners before.”
Y5) “Kankuro lead me to a brothel once,” With the hand not on Lee’s head, Gaara pulls them flush together. “I go there sometimes to relieve stress.” He breathes Lee’s scent in and almost forgets his words. “I meet the same guy. Sometimes it’s physical.” Gaara kisses Lee’s neck. And does it again. “Though we usually only talk.”
“Like a…” Lee loosely wraps his arms around Gaara. “Like a therapist?”
“No,” Gaara breathes out a light chuckle. “It’s more like gossip.” Lee giggles and Gaara goes back to kissing Lee’s neck.
“I have never known you to be a gossip.”
“I’m not,” Gaara reluctantly takes his lips off. “But you’re the only person I think of when he and I fuck—” Lee gasps again and clutches at the fabric on Gaara’s lower back, “—Of course he’s going to be curious that I keep calling your name.”
Y6) Lee pulls them apart and Gaara frowns at the interruption. He looks up to find Lee staring at him with an expression he’s only witnessed a few times—a held-back desire. Lee opens his mouth as if to ask a question and Gaara almost argues until he’s roughly pulled into Lee again for another kiss. Lee kisses him without finesse but Gaara finds himself enjoying the way their teeth click against each other and how Lee, more than once, almost tears Gaara’s lower lip to bleed.
There’s less urgency the longer they stay together but Lee’s quick to learn and master what Gaara does and doesn’t like. Gaara doesn’t like his lips sucked; likes them pulled. He doesn’t like it when Lee’s tongue lingers too long at the gums of his teeth; likes it stroking his palate. He voices a small sound of distaste when saliva drools down from the edge of his lips to his chin; moans when Lee licks the mess up and back into Gaara’s mouth.
Y7) Gaara pushes them apart and forgets what he meant to say when Lee drops his head down to kiss and lick Gaara’s neck. He wants them close again, wants to pull as much of Lee into him as he can. Gaara jumps, wraps is legs around Lee’s waist, and is relieved to have Lee able to follow his cue quick enough to grab a hold onto Gaara’s ass to keep him up. While one hand strokes the back of Gaara’s neck, Lee’s more than strong enough to keep Gaara up with only one other hand and fuck does that turn Gaara brainless and stupid.
Gaara hastily leans further in and wraps his arms around Lee’s shoulders to bring them closer. This displaces their center of gravity for a moment and Gaara was quick to worry for them falling before Lee adeptly shifts his stance and lets go of Gaara’s ass only to quickly switch his hand’s position and grab onto Gaara tighter.
“Fuck,” Gaara breathes out.
“Are you okay?” Lee’s reply is muffled between Gaara’s neck and shoulder. He stops kissing and stroking and the hand holding Gaara up relaxes its grip.
“Don’t stop until I say so,” It sounds impossibly like both a command from the most powerful man in Suna and a desperate beg from a shameless courtesan. Lee clamps his teeth into Gaara’s shoulder to quieten a moan that deeply reverberates from Lee’s chest into Gaara’s.
Y8) “May I take care of you, Gaara?” Lee gropes Gaara’s ass with two hands this time. Gaara’s eyelids flutter and he feels himself leak precum.
“I told you not to ask and not to stop.” Gaara grinds his crotch onto Lee’s stomach.
“Please, Gaara, I need to know you want it as much as I do” Lee kisses Gaara’s neck sweetly, no more teeth, no more aggression. The groan from Gaara’s throat comes out devastated.
“I want you. I want you. I want you to fuck me. Or I can fuck you. Gods, I don’t care, I just want to be yours.” Gaara grinds against Lee faster, trying to find more friction each time.
“You want to be taken here? On the greenhouse floor?” Lee brings them apart again to look into Gaara’s eyes. Gaara knows Lee will see only desperation but Gaara sees slight apprehension in Lee. By the gods does he want to be fucked full under the moonlight in a semi-risky location, it makes him leak a little more just thinking about it, but this is Lee’s first time. They can revisit Gaara’s little fantasy another day, but he has to get them to a more private location immediately.
“Close your eyes and hold your breath.” Gaara closes his eyes and imagines his destination.
“And wait! Aren’t there cameras all around—!” Lee ends up violently coughing sand out while they’re transported but still keeps his hold on Gaara.
Z1) Gaara pushes himself off Lee to stand on his own. They’re in his bedroom, away from the prying eyes of the moon, only a portion of it shining its light through the window curtains. It’s not enough so Gaara turns the lamp next to his bed and the room turns from the faint blue of the moon to a deep gold.
“I covered the cameras with sand when we arrived. There’s no sound recording. No one knows,” Gaara’s pleased to find Lee’s shoulders relax.
“That was a very smart thing to do…” Lee’s eyes squint and slowly smiles. “Did you plan this all out?”
Instead of answering, Gaara sternly pushes Lee until the back of Le’s knees hit Gaara’s bed and sits down with a light bounce. Gaara removes the gourd around his hip and the harness and straps to carrying it in place from his body to the floor behind him. He realizes belatedly that Lee was watching him strip, even from such an insignificant item of clothing. Maybe Lee has a preference for them. It’ll be another thing to revisit. Another night to look forward to.
Z2) Gaara straddles Lee’s lap and kisses him again. With the harness out of the way, it’s much easier to separate from the kiss and take his shirt off, shedding his sand armor as well. Lee immediately has his hands on Gaara and kisses him again.
Lee has his large hands around Gaara’s ribs and without the armor, he knows Lee could crush him until his bones pierce out and reveal his heart, waiting to be crushed as well. But Lee doesn’t hurt him, he’s gentle and sweet and makes almost makes Gaara mewl when Lee’s thumbs crape across Gaara’s nipples, back and forth. Gaara has to tilt his head away from the kiss to breath through his mouth. Now he’s the one who has to try to control his breathing.
“Ah—” Gaara breathes out. The sound is almost muted but Lee must’ve heard because Lee pinches and tugs, adding more pressure and friction when Gaara slowly gets louder. He looks down and Gaara’s pebbled nipples look so small in contrast to Lee’s fingers. They’re becoming redder and chafe. Pleasure and pain. Gaara might come in his pants if they bleed and Lee licks him up.
But Lee is a fucking gentleman and he stops his fingers. Gaara lets out a frustrated growl and flicks his nipples himself. Lee takes his hands away and looks at him with such awe and desire that Gaara forgets to breathe for a second.
“Will you take your clothes off for me? I will do the same.” Lee requests gently.
Gaara gets off of Lee to stand and undress himself as fast as possible. Lee’s luckily much faster and Gaara doesn’t have to wait to straddle back onto his lap. Gaara ungracefully lowers himself down and immediately claws onto Lee’s shoulders when his dick pushes against Lee’s.
Gaara’s unable to look and appreciate Lee for too long, appreciate his fat fucking cock, because Lee flips them in the blink of an eye with Gaara laying on his back and Lee on top. Lee’s clothes are underneath him and Lee is on top, his smell wraps around Gaara like a Sand Coffin. Lee grinds down and Gaara’s arms collapse down to his shoulders. He doesn’t have enough energy to hold onto Lee, all of it focused on how good they feel rubbing against each other. He should try to keep himself from coming too early. It’s embarrassing to think that years of waiting to be fucked and he might not even have the stamina to get Lee to come.
“Gaara,” Lee’s breaths come out in more even pants, “I—” Sensing a request for permission again, Gaara kisses him. He feels Lee smile into their kiss before pulling away.
Z3) Lee’s hips stop and Gaara hears the undignified whine coming from himself before he gets a chance to stop it.
“Lee what—” Gaara almost chokes on his spit when Lee lowers his body down and licks the head of Gaara’s dick. And he licks again, and again, until Gaara’s clean and Lee’s tongue is faster than the precum can drip out.
With an audible gulp first and a deep breath in and out after, Lee closes his eyes and encloses all of Gaara into his mouth in one go. Gaara bites into his arm when he screams, sure that if he had not, everyone in the manor will be able to hear him. Lee keeps two hands on Gaara’s hips and prevents him from squirming.
Lee’s relying on too much saliva. Gaara doesn’t know which is more obscene: the squelching from the suction of Lee’s lips that move up and down or the broken moans coming out unfiltered from Gaara. It’s wet and sloppy and Gaara feels one of the many cold dribbles spilling out of Lee’s mouth trickle down his balls, his perineum, into the seam of his ass.
“Lee—fuck—” Gaara knows he’s close but he’s breathing too heavily to speak. He takes a fistful of Lee’s hair instead, tugging as a warning but not pulling him off. He feels the high rising faster and faster, his difficulty breathing makes it more enticing. He wants to push into Lee’s mouth but is held down harder now. Lee’s grip will bruise and the pain along with the pleasure of Lee sucking Gaara slower and harder than before makes Gaara shout Lee’s name and come in his mouth.
He’s breathing hard. He allows himself to fully feel the pleasure all over his body and think of nothing else. Gaara takes a minute to collect his breath. His eyes are closed and he wants to fall asleep, but he wants something else more.
Z4) “Lee,” Gaara’s voice is a bit rough but he can still speak, “there’s a bottle of lube and a condom in my right dresser. Get it for me.”
He can practically feel Lee’s quick nods and scramble to do as Gaara says. The familiar shape of the bottle and the crinkle of the condom are carefully placed into Gaara’s hand. He opens his eyes and seeks Lee out first. Lee’s not exerted as much energy as Gaara. Gaara’s sweat is finally trying to cool off while Lee looks flushed, only because of what’s in Gaara’s hand. Gaara throws the condom toward Lee—his aim is terrible but Lee catches it anyway.
“Put that on,” Gaara closes his eyes and tries to keep his post-orgasm muscles relaxed. “I’m gonna open myself up.”
“D-Do you need anything from me?” Gaara hears Lee tear the packet open and slide the condom on. He has an amusing set of wishes, one wanting the condom to be big enough for Lee and another wanting Lee’s cock to stretch it apart, Lee being too big, too much.
“No,” Gaara wills the thought away. “Just watch.”
Gaara’s actions are routine: open the cap, squeeze out a thick amount, close the cap, push the bottle somewhere to be put away tomorrow, rub his fingers, and touch himself. It’s almost clinical except that he has Lee with him now. Watching Lee, with Gaara’s permission to freely ogle, makes Gaara want to put on a show. Just a small one.
A moan that Gaara usually keeps to himself.
Stretching and displaying himself open each time he’s looser.
Slowly writhing in tandem with the motions of his fingers.
Lee stroking himself with that same pace.
“Lee,” Gaara basically moans his name. “I’m ready. Fuck me.”
“Are you sure?” Lee bites his lips in worry. “I do not mean any hostility when I say that your fingers are smaller than me.” Gaara knows his four spindly fingers barely make half of the thickness of Lee’s cock; a warm dark brown with a prominent vein on the underside. The condom stretches and clings onto him indecently. Gaara wants to know what Lee smells like, if he pushes his nose into Lee’s short hairs. Lee takes some lube from the bottle for himself and strokes carefree, as if Gaara isn’t a second from begging.
“I want to feel it,” Gaara keeps himself open as Lee crawls back on top. “I’ll let you know if I can’t handle it.”
Lee lowers himself and they kiss. He lingers and it’s long enough that Gaara’s fingers start to cramp.
“Lee, please,” Gaara begs.
“Okay,” Lee pecks him on the lips. On one cheek, then the other. His forehead and his chin and his nose and Gaara opens his mouth to protest but only gasps when he feels Lee push onto him, not even inside yet.
They moan in unison when Lee pushes in and Gaara’s wrapped around the head, grip tight and unwilling to let him go. Lee places a hand onto Gaara’s hips again. Lee breathes slowly and loudly and Gaara follows. All of Gaara is in the palm of Lee’s hands, right down to how he breathes. Gaara has given his whole self over to Lee.
“I’m yours,” Gaara murmurs. Lee kisses him gently, as if Gaara’s fragile. And maybe he is, without the sand armor, without his defenses up. But as gentle as his kiss and the patience Lee puts in as he pushes his girth further in, the hand on Gaara’s hip starts to grip achingly again.
“Gaara,” Lee whispers into his ear. “I want this to be good for you but you are so tight that I can’t move too much.” Lee adjusts his grip on Gaara’s hip to tilt Gaara higher. “I want this to be good. I want to be good. I want to be good for you. I want to be yours so badly.”
Gaara feels Lee’s tears fall onto his face. He doesn’t know what to do or say, has no time to think—
“Fuck—!”
—when Lee pushes against his prostate and Gaara can only moan and claw at his back.
“Right there—fuck, Lee—right there,” Gaara can barely mumble the words out.
“I cannot move with how much you’re gripping onto me,” Lee starts to sound ragged.
“Hold on—I’ll—hold on—” Gaara forces himself to relax and Lee immediately pulls out and thrusts right there again. “Oh——” He sounds debauched. He wants more.
Lee gets a slow rhythm going, making sure to tease Gaara’s prostate each time, and he’s not even all the way in yet. The squelch of the lube doesn’t sound as perverse as Lee’s short grunts and loud moans when Gaara tightens around him.
The large bed creaks when Lee finally pushes himself all the way in. Gaara’s jaw hangs open and doesn’t close after a stray whine leaves from him. He wraps his legs around Lee and pushes his heals onto his lower back, trying to push him in deeper.
“Gaara—” Lee moans just his name and Gaara has never felt more loved, more devoted to. “You feel amazing—” Lee thrusts back and forth in a steady rhythm. A gentle rhythm. “I want to stay inside you forever, I want to fuck you forever.”
“Then fuck me,” Gaara snarls. “Fuck me faster and fuck me harder.” He bites Lee’s lip enough to draw blood; he doesn’t lick the mess away. “Fuck me, take me, use me like I’m all yours. Make me see stars so that I know you’re all mine.”
Gaara shouts when Lee pulls away and pushes into him again, deep and hard and full. Not once, not twice; Lee doesn’t stop and every thrust punches a cry out of Gaara’s mouth. Lee’s holding him down with both hands and it hurts but so does the cock ramming into him and the burn in his lungs as he’s unable to catch his breath. Gaara hates pain but it becomes pleasure as he hears the conspicuous slaps their bodies make, friction of Gaara’s cock against Lee’s stomach, the sweet words of fealty coming out of Lee’s mouth. It all leaves Gaara witless, eyes rolling up like a fool and drooling from the mouth like an animal.
He comes moaning Lee’s name again. He sees so many stars his vision goes white for a brief second. Fat white lines gushing out of him and sticking between them. Lee starts to slow down but Gaara begs, pleads.
“K-keep going—Don’t stop—”
Lee returns to his pace and Gaara’s toes curl. It’s too much, it’s overwhelming, everything feels so much more sensitive and it makes quiver, makes him want to cry. He wants Lee to stop, it’s too much, hurts too much, but he also wants Lee to take his fill.
“Stop,” Gaara breathes out. Too much. Too much.
Z5) Lee immediately stops. His muscles tense from control.
“Are you okay?” He’s as breathless as Gaara.
“Yeah just,” Gaara takes a deep breath, “pull out slowly. Take the condom off. Hurts too much down there but you can fuck my face.”
The slow pull of Lee leaving him has Gaara keening and scratching Lee’s back, no doubt leaving red marks. Lee disposes of the condom and gently eases himself, his cock, to Gaara’s open mouth. Lee holds onto the back of Gaara’s neck, gentle again, as he pushes as much as he can in, though not all the way. What Gaara can’t take into his mouth, he grips with his hands. The smell and taste of Lee alone makes him moan.
“Gaara—” Lee pants. He starts to rock back and forth. He hits the back of Gaara’s throat, but not too hard. He’s careful. Gaara doesn’t want him to be careful. “Gaara—!” Lee moans louder when Gaara grips tighter and sucks harder. Lee understands the message and grips the hair at the nape of Gaara’s neck and fucks into Gaara again.
Lee fucks harder and Gaara moans louder. Gaara moans louder and Lee fucks harder. And harder and harder and when Lee’s cock hits the back of Gaara’s throat too harshly, Gaara pulls away, gagging and crying. He catches his breath and sniffs.
Gaara turns back to Lee with his mouth open and tongue lolled out, ready to be used again. The act must have really pleased Lee as Gaara was unprepared for Lee’s quiet “fuck” and his cum—Lee’s release shot hot onto Gaara’s face. There’s so much more than when Gaara came, fuck, Lee must be emptying himself all over Gaara’s face. He licks his lips and gives himself a taste of Lee, of what he wished he was able to swallow down his throat instead. Lee gasp and groans his name before hastily grabbing one of his discarded clothes and wipes himself off of Gaara.
Z6) “I should have warned you,” Lee says apologetically. “I should have asked.”
“And what did I tell you about asking?”
Lee smiles and ducks his head away. He cleans the mess between them and pushes all of his clothes, even the ones underneath Gaara, off the bed. Gaara’s content to watch, bruised and tired and feeling satisfyingly fucked.
When he’s all done, they lay on their sides and curl into each other’s embrace. Lee awkwardly clears his throat and Gaara leans back to look at him.
“I hope that was satisfactory?” Lee asks, eyes not meeting Gaara’s. Gaara tries to ease his worries with a phrase he overheard one of the chuunins on break jokingly say once.
“It’s the best lay I’ve ever had in my life,” It comes off a little more genuine than Gaara planned. Lee sputters and laughs.
“Well I hope it was not!” He looks back at Gaara with a dazzling smile. “I would like our times together in the future to be just as good, if not better!” It’s a presumptuous declaration and Gaara gladly lets him presume. They’ve walked around each other in circles for years, trying not to speculate on what the other wants.
“I hope so too,” Gaara replies. Lee tries to smile but a large yawn comes out of him instead. Before Lee gets a chance to apologize, Gaara tucks his head into Lee’s chest, letting Lee doze off. He lets out one final pleased sigh before closing his eyes and finally letting himself rest.
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requirings on Chapter 3 Wed 22 Dec 2021 02:23AM UTC
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