Chapter Text
“It’s not working,” Viktor snapped, throwing the chalk down. He turned away from the board, frustration etched across his face.
He and Jayce had been working for the better part of the night, and Jayce thought he could see the faint glow of dawn clawing its way up the sky’s open canvas.
It had been a long dredge, and their progress to show for it was startlingly little. Right now, Jayce could think of nothing more mocking than a beautiful dusty rose glow welcoming in the fresh day.
He looked at Viktor and noticed how his eyes were thoroughly bloodshot and his clothes dishevelled.
The man looked utterly wrecked.
Jayce knew he was not faring any better.
“We’ll get there,” he said, reaching out and throwing a reassuring arm over Viktor’s shoulders squeezing him into his side, “We just need a couple hours sleep and a fresh perspective.”
He could feel Viktor remain stock still underneath him, and haltingly he let his arm drop down to his side.
Viktor cocked his head, looking slyly at Jayce through dark lashes.
“I am not used to being touched.” He admitted softly.
Jayce didn't know was it the sleep deprivation that had brought about such candid openness from his partner, but his heart broke for this brilliant man all the same. He drew back immediately not wanting to press boundaries.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realise,” he said, apology falling on reflex from his lips.
“No, I like it,” Viktor said, a beautiful pink tinting his cheeks, “It’s unusual, but…” Viktor glanced away.
“It’s how I show affection, I’m glad you don’t mind,” Jayce said, relieved.
“Oh really? I hadn’t noticed,” Viktor raised his eyes to the heavens, sarcasm dripping from his words, “It’s not like you do it constantly.”
“Well come here then,” Jayce said smiling, holding his hands out in front of him once more.
Viktor moved forward and tucked himself into them, a wiry arm wrapping around Jayce’s torso like a vice, the other still on his cane.
He rubbed his cheek into Jayce’s chest.
“This is nice,” he said, his voice muffled through the fabric.
“We can do more, if you want?” Jayce suggested hesitantly.
He could feel Viktor’s shoulders tense under his hands.
“What are you suggesting?” He asked flatly.
Jayce backpedalled quickly. He still had no idea how Viktor felt about men and didn’t want to press anything untoward on his work partner.
“I read this study,” he clarified, “That men don’t get enough non-sexual physical contact. Much less on average than women actually. I was thinking, we could do that with each other, if, if you wanted to.”
Viktor was silent underneath him.
Jayce could feel his breath coming out in little hot puffs through his shirt.
“Sorry, it’s a stupid idea, forget I asked,” he said, embarrassment creeping up within him. What must Viktor be thinking?
“It’s not stupid,” Viktor said quietly, “I don’t think you’re capable of stupid thoughts, Jayce.”
“Oh, I am,” Jayce said confidently, “One time when I was four, at my aunt’s birthday party, I thought it would be a great idea to draw a mask on myself, like my favourite superhero. But I did it with permanent marker. I freaked when I realised and tried to wrap my head in toilet paper to hide it from my mother,” Jayce said chuckling from the memory, feeling Viktor laugh against him.
“Did it work?” Viktor chuckled.
“No, I ran headfirst into a wall about five minutes later and banged my face so hard I got a nosebleed,” Jayce said with a wince.
Viktor snorted.
“At least you had toilet paper to hand,” Viktor said, still laughing.
Jayce smiled fondly thinking back on it. He was glad Viktor found it funny too.
He paused a beat, his face freezing.
Why the fuck had he just told Viktor that. He had to get control of his mouth.
“Little you sounds like a terror,” Viktor said dryly.
Jayce still had his arms around Viktor, and absently nestled his chin down on Viktor's head, feeling his hair tickle at his neck.
Something had been lit, aglow in Jayce, a warm ray of sunlight heating him from the inside.
“I accept your offer,” Viktor said, trailing his hand up Jayce’s back, “I, ah, think some physical contact will be good for the both of us.”
“Okay,” Jayce said, pulling him in closer.
After that, Jayce touched Viktor as much as he wanted, which was a lot.
He became intimately aware of the space Viktor took up. Not just how tall and wide he was, but how he felt slotted against Jayce.
Which ways Jayce could touch him in an everyday manner without disturbing his work.
Jayce would press up against him, leaning over to scribble on the whiteboard. His chest brushing against Viktor's back, and Viktor would smile, but not lose track of himself while explaining a new concept.
When working on equations Jayce would lean in from behind him, towering over Viktor sat at his desk, and place two arms either side of him resting his chin on the crown of Viktor’s head. Viktor would always chatter away blissfully underneath him about what breakthroughs he had made.
While tinkering together, Jayce knew he could pull their chairs close, their legs touching from ankle to hip. They were so close like that, Jayce thought they were like one prefect organism, working on Hextech with four arms and two heads. Absolutely synchronised with one another.
It was rare that Viktor would initiate touch, but after Jayce asked him about it, he had simply said he was never sure what was allowed.
After, Jayce followed him into their kitchenette, just to stand behind him and hug him as he moved around making tea. He could feel Viktor’s warmth radiate through their clothing, their feet doing a funny waltz to avoid being trodden on.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t know if this is allowed,” Jayce teased him, his lips brushing dangerously close to Viktor’s ear.
“Jayce, I need to get the sugar, get off.”
Jayce reached up above him and plucked it off the top shelf.
“This sugar?” He goaded, one arm still wound firmly around Viktor’s middle.
Jayce held the pot above his head.
“Jayce,” Viktor said, his tone irate.
“Yes, Viktor?” Jayce said.
Viktor let out a little huff, and then his attitude turned on a dime, his voice suddenly soft.
“Can I have the sugar?” He said, his voice low and eyes wide.
Viktor pulled his lips into a small pout, and Jayce’s heard stuttered.
Breaking immediately, he placed the pot on the counter, and folded his hands over Viktor’s collarbones. He steadfastly ignored the heat rising under his collar. Jayce traipsed around after him until Viktor thwacked him with his cane.
“I’ll spill hot tea on you Jayce, get away.”
After that, when they were reading on the couch Viktor would tangle himself into Jayce, throwing his good leg up over Jayce’s.
Jayce would wrap an arm around him and tug him close so they could both peruse the latest publishing in their academic field.
Viktor was a faster reader than Jayce and would begin to fidget and shift around when he had finished the page ahead of him. Jayce learned that this movement would only abate if he softly rubbed his free hand through Viktor’s hair.
Viktor would practically melt into him at that, relaxing his full body against Jayce’s and letting his head fall back softly onto his chest.
Jayce would scrape his nails softly across Viktor's scalp, massaging through any tangles he found. It was methodical for him, and extremely grounding.
Feeling Viktor’s chest rise and fall in tandem with his, Jayce truly believed he had never experienced a moment where he felt as present, as alive, as just then. One day, sleep took them tangled together like that, eyes fluttering closed, their warm breaths coming peacefully.
Jayce had ordered a bed into the lab the second he realised crashing on the couch was paining Viktor’s leg.
Viktor watched it being brought in silently, Jayce hauling the mattress in the door following after the labourers carrying the frame.
Tossing the mattress onto the frame, Jayce tipped the men and they shuffled out.
He surveyed the bed proudly, putting his hands on his hips.
“You don’t think this is overboard?” Viktor said, walking up to Jayce.
“If it’s better for you than the couch, then no.” Jayce responded.
“It’s better than the couch,” Viktor conceded, mind already elsewhere, “Come read over the equations I just finalised.”
Wrapping his free had around Jayce’s wrist, he led Jayce away.
Reaching the end of another long day, or the dawn of a new one, Viktor and Jayce finally stepped away from the board.
“I think we are finished here,” Viktor said.
Jayce agreed immediately. When Viktor was choosing to end their progress, it meant they had truly completed a good day’s work.
“Shall we sleep here?” Jayce asked, gesturing at the bed.
“It would make more sense than going home so late,” Viktor agreed, “We do have an early start tomorrow.”
"Come on!” Jayce said, striding over to the bed, a burst of excited energy rising within him, “it’ll be just like a sleepover!”
“I’ve never been to a sleepover,” Viktor said, following him.
“Never?” Jayce frowned.
Viktor had missed out on so many parts of childhood he simply took for granted.
Jayce started undressing, Viktor’s actions mirroring his.
“We didn’t have the space to spare.” Viktor said, shrugging off his shirt, “But tell me, what would happen?”
“We would have our school friends over, we’d get hyper on candy and stay up having pillow fights,” Jayce said, shucking off his trousers, leaving them strewn across the floor with the rest of his clothes. With just his underwear on, he slipped under the sheets.
He watched Viktor neatly fold his shirt and trousers, crisping the lines on them, before placing them on the floor and slipping in beside Jayce.
Jayce shimmied over to him and threw his arm over Viktor’s waist.
“What else would you do?” Viktor asked, “I believe you could beat me in a fight any day.”
“We would tell each other our secrets,” Jayce said, ducking his head, “Here, like this.”
Jayce pulled the sheet up over their heads.
The soft yellow light of the lab fell through the sheet and cast half of Viktor’s face into a muted golden relief. Viktor’s eyes were fixed on his face, incandescent in the glow. Jayce could feel the warmth of their breath mingling together under the cotton, they were pressed so close.
“What kind of secrets?” he whispered, “The pillow fight might be less dangerous.”
“I don’t know,” Jayce whispered back, “Secret secrets.”
“Why are we whispering?”
“Because you started it.”
“Fine,” Viktor huffed, “But I get to ask first.”
“Shoot.”
“Anything?”
“Yeah, anything.”
Viktor looked down, thinking hard, and then back at Jayce, a vulnerable look in his eyes.
“That night, when I interrupted you. Would you have done it?”
Jayce immediately knew what he was referring too. When Viktor had found him, stopped him, up in his apartment on a precipice that he couldn’t have come back from.
“I think I might have, sometimes.” Jayce said, “If you hadn’t come. But then I think of us, our work, all the phenomenal bits of life that we’ve had since then. And I couldn’t imagine a world where that didn’t exist. A world where this didn’t.”
Jayce reached forward and tucked a piece of hair behind Viktor’s ear, smoothing it down.
“I believe it’s your turn,” Viktor said, clearing his throat, “For the record, I couldn’t imagine that world either.”
Jayce remained silent, just trying to breathe through the moment.
He thought of what he would like to ask Viktor. He had started with something serious, so Jayce figured nothing was off topic.
He thought immediately of what he wanted to know.
“Would you ever think taking a partner? I don’t know what -who- you're looking for, but maybe Sky-,”
“Sky is, rather obvious, yes,” Viktor sighed.
“Do you like her?” Jayce said, padding for information on Viktor’s preferences.
“I don’t feel sexually attracted to many people Jayce,” Viktor said, very matter of fact.
“Oh?” Jayce said, wishing he could have the guide map on how to become one of those lucky few, “Why’s that?”
“I’ve never felt that way about someone unless I trust them first,” Viktor said, shrugging slightly, “I’ve always been like this. Unless I have a strong emotional connection with someone I just…” his voice trailed away.
“That’s okay, Viktor,” Jayce said earnestly. He dearly wanted Viktor to know he could have said anything, and Jayce would have been fine with it. He soothingly stroked his thumb over Viktor’s back, “However you feel, it’s alright.”
“Growing up, I would hear classmates talking about how attractive a stranger was, and I just couldn’t understand it?” Viktor said softly into Jayce’s chest, “I didn’t understand how people were attracted so someone they didn’t even know. I thought they were lying, honestly. Boasting to each other.”
“It must have been hard.”
“Not overly,” Viktor said, “I’m not the most impressive physical specimen, there wasn’t a line of men waiting to bend me over backwards in the Lanes”.
He let out a sharp cackling laugh as if he knew that the mental image had caused Jayce’s chest to seize.
“Viktor!” Jayce choked.
“What,” Viktor said slyly, “it’s true.”
Jayce could feel colour rise in his cheeks. He widened his eyes and clutched his chest, playing every bit the scandalised maid.
“I’ve never heard such talk!” He protested, doing a stunning impression of Caitlyn’s posh accent.
“Oh shut up Talis,” Viktor snickered, grinning up at him.
Jayce looked at Viktor and his breath hitched.
He couldn’t imagine sharing this with anyone else. Being here, with anyone else.
It would only ever be Viktor.
“Let’s get to sleep,” Viktor said, turning over, “It’s still a long day tomorrow.”
Jayce latently realised he had been staring, but he couldn’t find it in him to care.
Wordlessly, he curled himself around Viktor’s body, tucking him in close.
Jayce could feel the cool metal of Viktor’s spinal augmentation against his stomach, his knees knocking the back of Viktor’s, his nose pressed into his hair.
Feeling every shift and twitch of Viktor next to him, Jayce fell away into a dreamless sleep.