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Travis walked through one of the hallways of Nockfell High with his head hanging low. The bruise left on him by his father's hand the night before felt like a mark of shame, and it wasn't one that he wanted to advertise to the whole school. It was embarrassing enough to be in public even without the black and blue covering his face. He walked past Sal & Friends, and Larry shot him a look as he walked by. "What're you looking at, Johnson?" He spat, returning the glare. Larry ignored his quip and turned back to his friends to continue talking about... grilled cheeses, from what Travis could gather.
Mondays suck.
He walked out the double doors of the school and inhaled deeply. He wanted nothing more than to go home, rest, and once his dad was asleep, walk over to the nearest gas station to buy some snacks. This was one of his favorite activities. It made him feel like he was capable of being on his own. Plus, the thrill of his dad not knowing he was out of the house was a feeling he couldn't help but come back to most nights. The walk there and back was almost therapeutic, and the feeling of the chilled wind against his skin was something he had grown to love over the years he had spent in Nockfell.
He had gotten so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn't realized how far he had walked. He was only about a block from home. Then he could relax for a few hours before his father got home.
He fell back onto the bed with a soft exhale and decided to pull out his homework so he didn't fall behind. His geometry homework was of little interest to him, though, and he couldn't focus on what he was doing. The T.V right in front of him looked a lot more appealing. He picked up the remote and scrolled through the channels until he found one that looked interesting.
Around 11 pm, he heard the sound of his father's car rolling over the gravel of their front yard and the creak of his front door opening. The knock on his door came shortly after.
"Come in." Travis wanted nothing to do with his father, but he didn't really have a choice.
"Are you studying?" That was it. No 'Hello', no 'How was your day, son?'. Conversations like that with his father were few. Travis thought that maybe it was his father's way of teaching him not to be soft. A way to harden him for the real world, and teach him that real people were never going to look out for him like that. What a dad.
"Yes, father."
"Did you do well on your test today?"
"Yes, father."
Kenneth studied him for a moment before leaving the room, not shutting the door behind him, to Travis' annoyance. He stood up with a groan and shut the door.
After a while of waiting, he heard his father's voice loudly say "I'm going to bed now. You'd better not wake me up."
"It was one time."
"I don't want to hear that tone with you. Go to bed." Travis heard this father's footsteps growing fainter until he could no longer hear them.
Fucking finally.
An hour after his father went to bed, Travis carefully stepped down the stairs, trying to not wake Kenneth. Even from the inside of his house, he could hear the soft pitter-pattering of the rain outside. Looks like it was going to be a wet walk to the gas station. He didn't much care, though. He loved the rain. He raised his arms to the side and tilted his head back as he walked, feeling the rain hit his face. He smiled and ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head afterward to let the water fly everywhere. It was refreshing, and almost freeing, in a strange sort of way. He kicked a puddle to watch the water splash and laughed to himself. What a child, he thought. He didn't care, though, because no one was here to see him or judge him.
Soon enough, he was at the closest gas station to his house. He pushed the door open and heard the bell ring. The sound was almost as familiar as his own voice due to his frequent visits.
"That'll be $6.98." Travis looked up. The sight that met his eyes was enough to make him want to walk straight out the door.
Really? Him of all people? Him? Travis came here to clear his mind, but he was now faced with the person he least wanted to see. His eyes met those of the boy at the register, and the brown-eyed boy's mouth parted slightly in shock.
"Why the hell are you here?" Larry asked, almost in an offended tone, even though Travis hadn't said or done anything since walking in. He rolled his eyes.
"I could ask you the same thing. Isn't this place, like, an hour-long walk from the apartments?"
"I have a car," Larry said, vaguely gesturing out the window and towards his beat-to-shit truck. Travis couldn’t tell if the reddish-orange color was rust on an originally grey car or a sickening choice of paint that had been messily slapped onto the truck. "Unlike you, I actually passed my driver's test."
"Shut up, asshole."
The cashier cut in, donning an irritated expression. "Dude, you need to pay for your cigs."
Larry's head snapped back to the man in front of him. "Shit, right, sorry."
Travis scoffed and walked over to the aisle that contained the skittles. He picked up a bag of rainbow candies and walked over to the register, placing it on the counter. He already knew his total, having been here so many times. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and placed the cash on the counter.
After paying, he walked outside, back into the rain, expecting Larry to be gone. He groaned when he was met with the sight of the brunette sitting on a bench, smoking a cigarette. "Gross."
Larry looked up and rolled his eyes. He looks great in this lighting. ...Okay, what? Since when was that a thing? Travis didn't have feelings for Larry. Absolutely not. He wasn't gay.
"I know you hate me, but your constant distaste for my smoking habit gets very annoying."
"Big words for a delinquent like you."
"I'm not a damn delinquent, Phelps." He cringed at the use of his last name. The association with his father made him want to punch a wall.
"Sure. Says the guy who's smoking while underage. Sounds like delinquent behavior to me." This was met with another eye roll from Larry. Travis sat down next to him.
"The hell are you doing?"
"What? This is where I always sit. When you aren't here, at least. I'd say you're almost being intrusive."
Larry turned his head towards Travis and began to stand up. "Intrusive? God, you're such an ass, Phelps."
Travis snorted at how quickly Larry got heated. "Relax, Johnson. I'm kidding. I don't care where you put your ass." Larry sat back down next to Travis. He seemed a lot closer than before. Travis felt his face grow flushed and hot. With anger, of course. What else?
They sat like that for a while, Larry taking drags from his cigarette, and Travis popping skittles into his mouth. Eventually, Larry broke the silence.
Larry began to tease him. "Why are you still here? Don't you have anything better to do with your night? Like, friends to hang out with?"
Travis threw another skittle into the air and caught it with his mouth. "Don't have any friends," he responded.
Larry looked taken aback. "None?" Travis shook his head. "Not even one?" "Nope. People don't like antisocial assholes, as it turns out." "That sarcasm looks great on you." "Thanks."
It went quiet again, until Travis spoke. "Why aren't you with friends? No orgy tonight?"
"You got so far into this conversation without being an asshole. I'm disappointed in you, Phelps. I thought you could push through." He took a hit. "They're all asleep. Losers." He laughed slightly. Travis nodded.
"I sort of wish I had friends. I don't really understand friendship. I've never enjoyed the company of another person before. Except for my mom, while she was alive."
"Do you enjoy my company?"
"Aren't we supposed to be enemies or something?"
"I don't mean back then. I mean now. Are you having a good time right now? Is this fun?"
"Uh... I guess so? I don't dislike it, I suppose."
"Then we're friends."
Travis looked over at Larry in disbelief. "Are you serious? After everything I've said and done, you'd want to be my friend?"
Larry shrugged. "Why not? I'm willing to give you another chance." Travis smiled to himself. "But friends don't bully each other. They don't call each other homophobic slurs." He felt Larry's glare burning through his skin like a laser. "You want friends? Stop being a douchebag."
Travis got quiet again, and Larry raised an eyebrow. "Okay?"
"Okay. I'll try."
"You will." Then Larry smirked and laughed quietly.
"What's so funny?"
Through his laughter, Larry responded, "D-do or do not," he snorted, "there is no try." Travis punched him in the shoulder.
"You're not funny."
Larry just laughed harder.
"Oh my god. You're so high right now."
"Don't use the Lord's name in vain, Travis."
"Shut up, Johnson."
The laughter began to subside. Larry stuck his hand out in an offer for a handshake. "Friends?"
Travis took Larry's hand in his, shaking it gently. His face grew slightly warm, but he nodded. "Friends."
The next day at school, things seemed different between the two boys. Ash looked confused when Travis walked past the group's lunch table without an unkind word. Travis didn't know why he didn't feel the need to be hostile anymore. He walked to his lunch table quietly, and Larry even gave him a small wave. Travis' chest fluttered, though he couldn't quite put his finger on why. He nodded in return, the movement being so slight it would have been easy for anyone to miss. He hoped Larry caught it.
Friendship. What a strange concept. To think that people could just be around others without feeling awkward or uncomfortable was confusing to Travis. Was this friendship? It was certainly no longer enemies. Travis was certain of that.
He sat down and ate his favorite bologna sandwich while thoughts of Larry ate way at his brain like termites. The boy had consumed Travis' thoughts, and he tried to convince himself that he had no idea why.
That night, around 1 AM, Travis went back to the gas station and found Larry sitting on the curb, lighting a cigarette. “I seriously don't understand how you can smoke those. Why? Do you know how shitty those are for your body? Seriously, you should quit. They do a lot more harm than good.” He sat down next to Larry anyway. He had nothing better to do.
"Spoken like a true son of a priest."
Travis rolled his eyes at Larry's quip. "Whatever. They're still awful for you."
Larry thought for a second before answering. “Yeah, I know. They’re awful for me and I should probably stop, but smoking is one of the only effective ways I’ve found to cope with anxiety. Maybe it’ll kill me one of these days, but I don’t really want to be old anyway.” He took a drag and Travis stared back at him.
“You have anxiety?” Larry blinked back at him. “Yeah, it’s pretty severe. You didn’t know that?”
“I didn’t. You don’t seem like the anxious type. You don’t seem to get worried about anything.”
“I did. Then I started smoking. It's helped me chill out a lot. I still get anxious a lot, though. I mostly just act like I'm not worried." Larry took another long drag from his cigarette. He smirked at the blonde, and Travis mentally hit himself for the way he felt about the other's smile. "Maybe you could use a cig here and there. Not to be a dick, but you kinda have a stick up your ass."
Travis shot him a glare. "I'm not going to smoke, Johnson."
"I'm not saying you have to, obviously. But you should let loose a tad. You seem so tense all the time, it's almost painful to see."
"What would you suggest then?" Travis' voice was dripping with sarcasm. Of course he wasn't tense. (He totally was.) He was perfectly fine, and he wasn't stressed at all. Sure, his geometry class provided a heavy workload, but other than that he was fine.
What a liar.
Larry tilted his chin up at the sky and hung his head back, taking another inhale of the smoke. "Find a hobby, Travis. Get a life. Do something fun for once." What, like you? Travis immediately cursed himself for thinking such a thing. "Let yourself have some freedom." Travis realized that Larry was right. He really did need to let loose. Well, you only live once, he supposed.
Travis sat in silence for a while before grabbing the pack of cigarettes from next to Larry and pulling one out. "Maybe I will let loose. How do I light this shit?"
He almost wanted to laugh at the expression of shock on Larry's face. It was as if he couldn't help but stare at him in bewilderment. "You? Smoking a cigarette? You know I was kidding about that, right? You don't have to feel pressured to smoke or anything like that just because I'm doing it."
"I know. I want to."
"Weren't you just preaching to me about how bad smoking is for you a second ago?"
"Well, I don't care anymore. I'm sick of feeling awful about everything all the time. I just want to relax. Even if it's just once. Teach me how to light it." Travis insisted. He needed to try it. If he hated it, he would just put the cigarette out and throw it away.
Larry shrugged and tossed Travis the lighter. "Do you know how to use one of these?" Travis shook his head. Larry snorted at him. "How can you be 17 years old and not know how to use a lighter? You just hold it next to the end of the cigarette and spin the spark wheel with your thumb." Travis stared at the lighter and then looked back up at Larry.
"Is this the spark wheel?" He asked, pointing to the small bit of textured metal on the top of the lighter.
Larry rolled his eyes in response. "Yes, that's the damn spark wheel. You really are innocent, aren't you," he asked with a cheeky smile. Travis scoffed. "I am not."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too."
"I'm not doing this right now." Larry laughed at him and Travis smiled a bit. God, if only Larry knew the way he made Travis feel when he laughed. It almost hurt to know that the other would never feel the same, but then again, maybe that was for the better. He held the cigarette in his hand and started to flick the lighter when Larry began to protest.
"No no, stop that," Larry said, taking the lighter from Travis' hands. He felt his face grow hot as Larry's rough hand brushed against his. He wanted to know what it would feel like to hold that hand in his. "You want to light it while it's in your mouth."
"No way. I'm not putting fire that close to my face. Why do I have to do that?"
Larry shrugged again. "Don't know. That's just how you do it."
Ugh. Larry was stubborn. Giving in, he put the cigarette in his mouth and flicked the lighter. "You might want to shield the end with your hand. It's windy. The fire won't light." Travis took Larry's advice and covered the end of the cigarette with his hand. The cigarette lit.
"Now inhale the smoke. You're probably gonna cough." Larry was right. The feeling of the smoke filling his throat and his lungs made him feel like he was suffocating. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and coughed into his arm.
"That was horrible! Why would you ever do that?" Travis asked through watery eyes and a raspy voice. Larry was laughing hysterically.
"I forgot how difficult it is for first-timers. that was priceless. You should have seen your face!" Travis gave him his favorite 'shut the hell up or ill punch you' look.
Even though every ounce of common sense left in him was screaming to never do that again, he brought the cigarette back up to his lips. It was a bit easier this time, but he still coughed. "This is foul," he said, laughing slightly.
"Then why are you still doing it?"
"I don't really know."
He tried again, and it went on for about an hour. Travis was shocked to find that he was actually having a lot of fun smoking and laughing with the boy he used to hate. His feelings for Larry were definitely more than platonic, even if he really didn't want to admit it to himself.
He could feel that his heartbeat had calmed down. He felt a lot more relaxed than he had that afternoon. He could tell that Larry was also relaxed. His head was thrown back, his long hair swaying slightly in the cool breeze of night. His position revealed his neck, jaw, and collar bones, and Travis couldn't help but think that he looked extremely attractive. The moonlight illuminated his features beautifully, and his skin had a slight shine to it that made him look utterly gorgeous. The curve of his lips was perfection, and Travis wanted to kiss him more than he wanted anything else at that moment. His elbows were propped up on the back of the seat behind him, showing off that his arms were slightly toned. All in all, Travis thought that Larry was one of the most attractive people he had ever seen.
One of Larry's eyes opened slightly, and his mouth formed a curve. "You're staring." Travis whipped his head away with a blush.
"Shut up, Larry."
"What, so I'm not Johnson to you anymore?"
"I think we're on a first-name basis now, aren't we? I mean, we are smoking together."
"Yeah, I guess so," Larry responded with a smile, the gap between his two front teeth showing. Cute. What? No. Definitely not.
"I could really go for a grilled cheese right now."
Travis raised an eyebrow at him. "A grilled cheese? Why?"
Larry looked appalled. "Because grilled cheeses are scrumptious, Travis."
"I don't really like grilled cheese."
"Well, clearly you've never had one of my grilled cheeses. I will make you one sometime. You don't have a choice. I'm forcing you to liked grilled cheese."
Travis scoffed, but smiled fondly. "Okay, okay. I'll try your grilled cheese."
They sat in comfortable silence for a while, smoking their cigarettes and listening to nothing but the sound of crickets and passing cars. It felt oddly serene. He almost wanted it to last forever, but it was interrupted by Larry's voice.
"Hey Travis?" the sound of his full name out of the other boy's mouth made his stomach churn a bit. The way he said it made his name sound like a beautiful name; like he was savoring the taste of it on his tongue, instead of the way his father said it; like he was spitting out the word as if it was the vilest thing a person could say.
"Yeah Larry?"
Larry paused.
"Why do you hate us?" Travis' heart sped up. He didn't want to talk about this tonight. Normally he would have made up lies, but something about the situation forced the words out of his mouth.
"I don't."
Larry scoffed. "Funny way of showing it."
"I know I treat you like shit. And I am sorry for it, truly," he whispered. "It's just... my father-"
"You don't get to blame the shit that you've done on your dad. He might not have raised you the best, but that doesn't change the fact that you're capable of making your own decisions."
Travis hung his head. "I know that. But my father raised me to believe that anyone gay is an abomination. So when I saw Todd and Neil living their lives freely together, I don't know, I guess I felt... jealous? And I took it out on all of you. But you didn't deserve it, and I know that what I did was wrong. I'm sorry for everything."
Larry stared at Travis in silence, his facial expressions unreadable.
Travis stood up to start walking back home. Larry probably hated him. Why shouldn't he? Travis had hurt him and his friends, and now he was making excuses. "I'm sorry, I should leave-" Larry cut him off with a hand around his wrist, keeping him from walking away. "Wait! No, don't leave." The spot where his fingers pressed against his skin was on fire. His heart pounded. Travis slowly sat back down. That was an interesting reaction. It was shocking that Larry actually seemed to be enjoying his company.
"I didn't know you were..." Although Travis had never explicitly said he was gay, Larry seemed to have put the pieces together.
"Yeah."
"It must be hard for you. Considering your dad is... y'know."
"A priest with a stick up his ass?"
"Yeah."
"It was hard to accept what I was feeling. I guess it still is. But it's gotten easier. There isn't a chance in this world that I'll tell him about this, and I hate that I have to hide it, but at least the self-loathing has subsided. A little."
"If I had known what you were going through I wouldn't have treated you like I did. I'm sorry."
"No, I'm sorry. I treated you all like shit for the dumbest reasons. You didn't deserve any of it. It wasn't fair of me. nothing I did was fair. Just because my dad acts like shit doesn't mean that I have a free pass to be an asshole."
Larry was quiet, staring at the ground beneath his feet taking another drag. Travis couldn't stop feeling like the only thing he wanted was to kiss him.
"I'm glad we talked about this. I've never been able to say it out loud to someone before."
"Can I ask you something that's probably pretty personal?"
Travis hesitated. "Sure?"
He breathed out smoke towards the sky. "Do you have feelings for Sal?"
Travis burst out laughing; real, genuine laughter for the first time in ages. If only he could tell Larry that he liked a certain long-haired brunette with an obsession with metal music and smoking. He'd pay good money to see his face. "Sal? Or course not, what gave you that impression?"
Larry looked sincerely shocked. "Really? I just thought that because you picked on him more than the rest of us that you liked him."
Travis took a drag. "I think the real reason for that is that he always treated me so well and I never understood it." Why am I telling him all of this? Must be the cigarettes. "I mean, no matter how badly I treated him, he would always be nice to me. I've never heard an unkind word out of his mouth. I don't get it. How can you be so nice to someone who's so cruel to you all of the time?"
Larry smiled fondly. "Yeah, I guess he's just that kind of person. He's a really sweet guy. I never understood why you were so mean to him, but I guess I understand now, at least a bit. He's a really good guy. When you talk to him about your problems, you always feel like he's really listening. I love that guy."
Travis raised an eyebrow. "Do you like Sal?"
Larry snorted. "Like him? Sure. Have feelings for him? Never in a million years. Sal's like a brother to me, I could never see him that way."
"You are gay though, right? I guess I never really asked you that."
"Yup. Gayer than Freddie Mercury. Gayer than Elton John. Gayer than a dick in another man's ass-"
"Okay okay, I get it!" Travis shouted through his laughter. "You're gay. I get it. You can stop now."
"-Gayer than David Bowie. Gayer than Neil Patrick Harris. Okay I'll stop." Larry said, also laughing maniacally. "So yeah, I'm pretty damn gay."
"Do your friends know?"
"'Course. They're my biggest supporters." He took yet another puff from his cigarette before continuing. "So if it isn't Sal you like, how'd you know you were gay?"
"I guess deep down, I always knew. I just never wanted to admit it to myself. With the way I was brought up, and with the way this town is, it was hard for me to accept. And it still is. But then, come this year, I met someone." This was met from an eyebrow raise and a smirk from Larry, but his eyes almost looked a little sad. He wondered about that a bit. "Not like that, dipshit. I don't have a boyfriend or anything. There's just... this guy I know. And I like him a lot." Larry's hand twitched against his. He hadn't realized that their hands were still touching. The idea made his heart race. "And I think it helped me come to terms with the fact that I like guys." He inhaled. "It's still hard to say out loud."
"Not gonna tell me who this mystery man is?"
Travis scoffed. "Absolutely fucking not. Never in a million years."
"Damn. I really thought you trusted me now. I feel so betrayed," he said, feigning hurt and throwing a hand across his chest. Travis giggled. Then his face dropped. That sound did not just come out of him. He did not just giggle. There was no way in hell.
"..."
"...Did you just giggle?"
"No."
"I think you did."
"I absolutely did not. I think you're hearing things, Larry." They laughed, and Larry checked his phone, and the screen blared in the dark.
"Shit, it's late. I should go home."
"I probably should too. I had fun, though. Surprisingly." Larry punched him in the shoulder. "Dipshit."
"Sorry, sorry. I had fun."
"Yeah, I guess I did too."
"Goodbye Larry."
"Goodbye Travis."
Travis was in his seat in geometry class, minding his business. His peace was interrupted when Larry tapped his shoulder with a pencil and passed him a note. It read:
Hey. Want to sit with us at lunch?
Travis raised an eyebrow. Larry shrugged. Travis wrote on the back of the note:
Why not?
He went back to his work and glanced up to see Larry smiling down at his notebook. Weird.
Come lunchtime, Travis stood near the table awkwardly. The only people there were Larry and Sal, and Travis assumed that the rest were on their way. This is a horrible idea. What makes you think anyone wants you here? Idiot. He shook away the thoughts, trying to gain at least a sliver of confidence in himself. He cleared his throat. "Uh, hey." Larry looked up and gave him a small smile.
"Hey. Sit down." He gestured to the spot on the bench next to him. Travis decided to sit, despite the questioning look that Sal had on his face.
"Larry, I don't know if this is a good idea-"
"Shut up. You'll be fine. It's just like last night." Sal raised an eyebrow, and Larry waved his hand dismissively in response. "I'll tell you later."
"What the fuck are you doing here." Oh no. Travis turned around and was met with angry brown eyes.
"Ash, chill, he's fine."
"The hell he is."
"It's okay, I invited him-"
"I'm not sitting here if he is-"
"Ashley." Sal cut in. No one ever used Ash's full name. Sal must have been really fed up with the arguing. "I think we should trust Larry's judgment. Calm down, and give him a chance." Ash still looked angry, but she sat down on the opposite side of the table. Maple and Chug sat next to her.
"Where are Todd and Neil?" Sal asked Ash.
"They wanted to sit alone today. Y'know, sometimes I really hate happy couples." This was met with a laugh from most of the table. Her mood seemed to lighten up pretty fast.
The rest of lunch was awkward, and Travis couldn't help but feel out of place among the friend group. After that day, meeting at the gas station became a part of Travis' nightly routine.
Travis was alone at the gas station. Before, this would have been preferable, but now, he sort of missed Larry's company. But, after about 30 minutes, the brunette showed up and walked over to Travis with his usual gap-toothed grin. "Sorry I'm late." He sat down painfully close to Travis. Their thighs were touching, and the contact made Travis' skin burn.
"Hi Larry," he said. "You're an asshole by the way. My throat is sore from yesterday."
"That's what she said."
"Dickhead. I meant the smoking. Speaking of which, got anymore of that shit? It's really helping."
Larry pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. He pulled one out and handed it to Travis, their hands brushing against each other slightly. It felt like his fingers were being shocked by static, and he pulled his hand away.
"Woah, what happened? What, am I made of fire?"
"S-sorry, I don't know what that was," he muttered, putting the cigarette between his teeth. He took the lighter from Larry's hand, careful not to touch him this time.
"Wait, don't light that yet. I want to try something." Larry took the lighter out of Travis' hand and grabbed his own cigarette, placing it between his lips. He lit the end of his and set the lighter down. Taking a hit, he leaned over slightly. Travis froze and his heart began to race. Larry took Travis' face in his hand and lit his cigarette with his own, never breaking eye contact. He pulled away hesitantly, eyes flickering downwards as he did so.
This unconventional method of cigarette lighting did actually work. Travis pulled it out of his mouth with shaking hands and exhaled a puff of smoke. Their faces were still very close together. It seemed like neither of them wanted to move. Larry still had his hands on the sides of Travis' face, and he moved one away to take a hit of his cigarette. Travis' eyes drifted down to Larry's lips without his permission. His face felt red hot, and his breathing was speeding up. Suddenly, Travis' lips were on his. Who made the move, he didn't know. All he knew was that this was everything he had ever wanted. His lips on another boy’s just felt right. How could he ever think that this was wrong? He was the happiest he had ever been.
Travis dropped his cigarette on the ground and threaded his hand through Larry’s hair, placing his other hand on his shoulder. Larry tasted like cigarettes and beer, and it was intoxicating. He was in heaven.
Larry pulled away suddenly, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. “I-“
He stood up, grabbed his things, and left without another word.
Shit.
Travis went home that night filled with regret. What was he thinking kissing another guy? Of course Larry would regret it. It was probably just the cigarettes getting to his head and making him do things he didn’t actually want to do.
Larry wasn’t at school the next day.
Or the next.
He never showed up at the gas station again.
After three days without contact from Larry, he decided he needed to say something. Maybe it was reckless. Maybe it was stupid. But he needed to see him again.
Travis stormed up to Sal. “Where the hell is he?”
Sal sighed "He's back at the apartments. I don't know what happened or why he won't come to school. He won't talk to any of us about what happened. We're completely in the dark here."
Travis hesitated before making his decision. "I'm going there. Right now." He turned to walk away, but Sal stopped him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back.
"Woah there. Larry is barely speaking to anyone. What makes you think that he's going to talk to you of all people?"
"...Can I talk to you in private?"
"Can you tell me what's going on? Larry won't talk to me for the first time ever, but you seem to know something, and I'd really like to know what's going on with my best friend please and thank you."
Travis inhaled and let everything out. "So Larry and I have been hanging out late at night at a gas station smoking this week and I guess we were bonding or something but then something weird happened where he lit my cigarette with the end of his and then we just stared into each others' eyes for like thirty seconds and then I guess we just? Kissed? And then Larry ran off and I haven't seen him since." This all came out extremely rushed. Travis barely even gave himself time to breathe.
Sal's eyes were wide, and he looked beyond shocked. "You kissed?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"I like him. A lot. But I don't think he likes me."
Sal looked unamused. "He doesn't like you, but he kissed you?"
"Well, technically we kissed each other-"
"That doesn't matter. He likes you. That's the only situation that makes sense. If he didn't like you, he wouldn't be ditching school and isolating himself over some dumb kiss. That's not who he is. If he didn't like you, he'd tell you that it was a mistake. Larry is an honest person, but he can get freaked out and anxious. He's worried. He doesn't know if kissing you was the right decision. He probably doesn't even know if you like him back." He paused. "Larry and his mom live in the basement. You'll find him down there. His mom probably won't be home, so no worries there." Sal placed his hand on Travis' shoulder. It was an awkward position due to the height difference, but Sal didn't seem to care. "Go get your man. Oh, and congrats on coming out. I'm proud of you, dude."
Travis smiled back at him. "Thanks."
Travis walked an hour to the apartments in the rain. He didn't care. He needed to talk to Larry now, because Travis was going to lose his mind if they didn't get this sorted out.
He shoved the doors of the apartments open and stormed in. The brown paint on the baseboards of the wall was chipping, and the dull green wallpaper was peeling in places. There was dust everywhere, and the air in the building felt stagnant and warm. It felt exactly like the kind of place that Larry would live in.
He made his way to the elevators and pressed the down arrow. It lit up dully. When the elevator doors finally opened and Travis stepped inside, he heard it creak. What a place.
When the doors of the elevator opened once again to let him out, he saw that he was being immediately met with... someones living room? This really was the strangest house he had ever been in. Nevertheless, he continued to walk, and didn't stop until he came across Larry's room.
He stopped outside the shut door. He could hear the metal music blasting and it was torture to his ears. It sounded nearly demonic. He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the strong scent of weed, and slowly moved his hand towards the door. There was a voice inside his head telling him that this was a horrible idea. Who was he to barge into Larry's room when he so obviously wanted to be alone?
Regardless of these thoughts, he knew that they needed to talk. He knocked on the door and inhaled again, trying to gain a bit more confidence. He heard the music's volume decrease, and then footsteps towards the door. "I don't want visitors, Sal. I already told you."
"Larry, open this damn door, or I swear to god, I will break it down."
"...Travis?"
"Yeah. You didn't really think you could avoid me forever, did you?"
The door creaked open, and Travis immediately swung it open all the way. "Jesus. Calm down, why don'tcha."
"Calm down?" Travis took a breath. "Calm down? I haven't seen you in days and I have no idea what's going on." Travis was speaking frantically and waving his hands around as he did so. "I had no idea if you were scared, or if I did something wrong, I had no idea. You can't just kiss someone and leave like that, Larry. It fucking sucks!" He was shouting now. "I don't know what you expected me to do. Really. I don't know what you wanted from me. You just kissed me and left. Of course I'm going to want some sort of explanation for why in the ever-loving fuck you did that."
Larry stared, his expression apologetic. "Are you... crying?"
Travis touched his hands to his face and he felt the wetness of his tears. Why was he crying over this? He was acting pathetic. He should be embarrassed of himself.
But now that he started, he couldn't hold it back. The tears kept flowing from his eyes like a faucet he couldn't turn off. His body was weak, and he felt like he might collapse at any moment. He couldn't remember the last time he cried. 4 months ago, maybe? It wasn't something he did frequently. He tried to keep all of his emotions inside. He was never one to show people what he was feeling.
Larry put his hand on the side of Travis' face and tilted his head to make Travis look at him. His touch was warm, and his face burned red at the contact. Regardless of his undeniable blush, he leaned slightly into the touch.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ran off."
"You're absolutely right. It was the stupidest thing you've ever done." The hand holding Travis' face gave him a light smack.
"Hey, I'm tryna apologize here, dipshit." Larry paused. "I guess I just thought you'd be mad. It scared me. I thought I couldn't get hurt if I avoided you and didn't give you a chance to react, but I was wrong. Not being with you sucked some major ass."
"I wasn't mad. I was scared."
"...I feel like I should ask you something."
"What?"
Larry looked Travis in the eyes. “Did you like it?”
Travis’ heart began to beat faster. Larry's hand moved toward the back of Travis' neck, pulling his head ever so slightly closer. Travis slowly touched his fingers to Larry's free hand, silently urging him to come closer. His eyes traveled down to Larry's lips, and he tilted his head to the side. He took a small step forward and put his free hand on Larry's shoulder and brushed their lips together. Larry kissed him back, pulling Travis closer and giving him another taste of smoke and beer.
After a bit, they finally pulled away from each other. "I'll take that as a yes, then," Larry said with a smile.
"I'm gonna make you a grilled cheese."
"...We just got done with a sappy love confession, and now you want to make me a grilled cheese?"
"Oh, you love me?"
"Shut up, Larry."
"That's kinda gay, Travis."
"Shut up, Larry."