Chapter Text
He shouted and shouted and shouted and you were beginning to lose a grip on reality. You didn’t even excuse yourself, you just headed out silently, making as little noise as possible, hoping no-one noticed.
Unluckily, Will followed.
“You all right?” he asked
“Bad breakfast.”
He lingered, but went back in and so did you after a while.
This was just a flashback, you told yourself, you’re fine, this is Jack, you’ve done nothing wrong, he’s not shouting at you specifically.
Will watched you then and you knew you did not fool him.
-
Something went BANG in the distance and your grip on the evidence bag tightened. Beverly automatically moved her hand underneath it, ready to catch it would you drop it and you met her look, apologizing.
“I’ll take it,” she said, not retrieving her hand.
“It’s okay, I’ll case it with the rest,” you shook your head, heading to the evidence crate by the car.
-
You quickly caught the cold glass before it could really tip over, the team roaring.
“You’ve got some sharp senses!” Brian patted your back as you secured the bear glass back on the table, the golden potion still inside and untouched.
“I’ll take that thank you,” Jimmy claimed it, downing the rest.
-
Then here he was. Smiling, strolling down the hall like he owned the place and you froze for a moment before reminding yourself to go on. He waved at Jack in his office before exclaiming what a lovely surprise it was to see you there.
“I need to leave,” you said the second the doors to Jack’s office closed behind you.
“Are those the Birdnester’s evidence copies?” Jack pointed at the folders.
“Yeah, they go to Beverly.”
“You need to leave?” Jack asked.
“I need to leave,” you repeated.
He frowned, whether in suspicion or disagreement, you did not know and you tried not to apologize, but you did and he dismissed you.
Maybe he’ll just think you’re sick or something, but you didn’t care. You dropped the copies on Beverly’s table and was out of the building in less than three minutes, practically running to your car.
-
Will tried calling. Then texted.
Jack did too, asking if you’re coming the next day. You wrote back you’ll be there in the morning.
Will called again and once more before texting but got no answer.
-
No. No.
Not happening.
You stared at your former boss, right there next to Jack, the world getting hazy and spinning. You leaned against the wall, trying your absolute best to look normal.
After you got away quietly here he is, readying to work the case with the team.
“Hey.”
Will laid his hand on your shoulder, gesturing to leave with him and you did, not even questioning why, the hall pleasantly cold and empty.
“Breath.”
“I’m okay,” you shook your head.
“You’re not breathing,” Will answered.
You frowned, starting to grow annoyed, but he just stepped back, calm, repeating himself.
So you breathed in properly and out, feeling like the air is going to suffocate you.
“Want to talk about it?” he offered and you shook your head quickly, shame starting to kick in.
This was just a beginning of a nightmare, you told yourself.
And to make things worse, this was the moment Hannibal decided to show up, walking up to the conference room they’ve done the briefing in.
“Is something the matter?” he asked, pointing at the glass doors. Will just gestured him in and he continued, giving you a last quick look.
“Are you ready to come back?” he asked you
You weren’t, but brave face was something you were used to putting on, even if not recently.
-
Shaking. You were shaking just from standing next to him – and worse, it did not pass unnoticed.
Hannibal stepped between the two of you, coming to hold your hands without a warning, his grip so tight you had no chance of protesting.
“You’re freezing,” he said out loud enough for everyone to hear. That was an obvious lie to the two of you since his touch was not any warmer than yours. The rest, though, couldn’t know.
“There’s no reason we all should be here,” Jack concluded with a sigh “Go.”
Beverly went too, and so did Hannibal.
-
You have no idea how you survived the rest of the case, but there you were, alone in the office at last, the folder closed in front of you. It was done – you’ve done it, you’ve processed the last bit, it was ready for submission in court, paperwork done. Tomorrow the hard evidence would be wheeled to the station, categorized and that’d be it. Finished, done, back to normal. It was nearing eleven, everyone went home.
Then you heard Jack call your name and realized you’ve held your head in your hands.
He came to sit over at Beverly’s chair at the table behind you slow.
This it it, you thought. He’s gonna sack me. I’ve done a shit jo…
No I haven’t. No. I haven’t!
“Are you ready to talk?”
You stared at him.
“I need you to talk,” Jack said “I need you to tell me if this was what I think it was, or I’m going to have to write you up for a psych eval.”
“I’m oka…”
“No.”
You took a breath, shakier than you hoped to.
“You’re an important addition to the team, but I need you to try and tell me what happened in order for me to be able to keep you on the team,” Jack pushed and you looked down to your suddenly shaking hands.
He said you’re important, you told yourself, concentrate on that. This wasn’t a threat, this wasn’t a threat…
“What if I can’t just yet?” you asked.
“Would you talk to Hannibal?” Jack offered and for a moment there, you caught it – a worry. Just a small bit, just a crack, but there it was. He was sincere. This was sincere.
“I don’t…”
“Just a conversation, nothing more. I need to know you have support.”
Something got caught in your throat and you shouted at yourself in your mind not to cry in front of your boss. So you gave him a nod, taking a slow breath and he watched you, probably aware of your state. He was a behaviorist after all.