Chapter Text
Tommy knew he had fucked up. The moment that Dream entered his room with anger in his eyes, he knew he was going to get punished for… whatever he did.
This was probably one of those times when Dream was angry at something else but he was taking it out on Tommy. It is just reasonable thinking, because Tommy can't remember what he did to make him mad. He had probably done something to fuel that anger. He wouldn’t just get beaten up just for the hell of it. (Would you, Tommy?)
In his fear, he doesn’t hear what Dream is saying. He knows he should probably be listening. Not listening would surely have further consequences but he is just too caught up in trying to figure out the reason why Dream is so mad at him, too caught up in his thoughts. Maybe listening would clarify some things…
The racing thoughts stop when a fist collides with his face. Then he feels a kick in his stomach (literally), then another one, then another one…
He wanted to scream, to beg Dream to stop but that would probably get him into further trouble and he couldn’t take being locked in the closet or being left in his room alone for a few days without food and water that comes only from the sink. It happened before and it wasn’t fun, like not at all. (I guess you already know that, there is no need for me to elaborate how bad it is) He wasn’t admitting to being weak, no, he could take it but only without the knowledge that Dream was disappointed.
Only me and my thoughts, no one to bother me. That’s what he would tell himself as a joke. Not that Dream was a bother. He should not think like that. It’s more like he was the one bothering Dream. Dream cared for him (Did he?) and Tommy cared for Dream. He did not want to be a bother, he wanted to make Dream happy, make him proud.
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Dream wasn’t always like this. He used to show that he cared more often. That was back when Tommy was younger, when he was just a child that he fostered. The poor kid thought that Dream was weird, being nice to a kid he had just met. Of course, he doesn’t feel like that anymore.
It all began to go to shit soon after he adopted Tommy.
He made it clear from the very beginning that he wanted to adopt Tommy. To give him a home that he could feel welcomed in. A home where he could feel safe (do you feel safe now, Tommy?) He was sweet, always saying nice things and always comforting him whenever he felt sad or overwhelmed. He was nice and he wished Dream never changed.
That sweetness, soon after he was adopted, turned into harsh words and beatings. Punishments, as Dream would call them. Were they anything else? Could they be anything else? No! Why would he even doubt that? He deserves everything that happened to him for being annoying and not sticking to the rules. (Do you, really?) Unspoken rules that he had to learn over the years. Six years of punishments getting worse and worse and he still hasn’t learned all of them.
Tommy, of course, is not enjoying them, the punishments, that is, not the rules, he has to stick to the rules and respect them. That is the reason why they are there. That is why they are called rules. But why is he complaining? No! He shouldn’t be! Dream gave him a home. Saved him from the horrors he would’ve experienced if he was still in the foster system.
But… Maybe… If he stayed in the foster system he would have found a family that loves him. A family that doesn’t just keep a façade until they manage to make Tommy their child forever and as soon as that happens they start abusing him.
Again, he shouldn’t think like that. That wasn’t a façade. Dream loves him, cares for him and Tommy is just being a brat by complaining. That isn’t abuse, they are punishments. He gives him food (sometimes), he has clothes, a roof over his head and Tommy is just complaining and being ungrateful. He should appreciate Dream more.
It doesn’t matter that he has bruises every single day. That the old ones never have time to fade. That he has scars he could never get rid of because he tried… he tried to get rid of them, really, he did. He tried giving them time to disappear (that was something you should have known wasn’t going to work), he has tried covering them up with makeup, it’s not like they disappear completely, they are still there. Scars never disappear and he knows that best.
Some of those scars were inflicted by him. He likes being in control of the pain he is feeling and how much he is hurting. It feels good. And it's not like Dream noticed. Even if he did, he didn’t say anything, so why shouldn’t he continue. (That should be a sign that Dream doesn’t actually care about you. Tommy, you already thought about that way too many times, you just don’t want to accept that fact.)
See! Dream is not the only one that is hurting him. Wait!… NO!… Dream is not hurting him. He is teaching him lessons and he just never learns. He needs to pay more attention to stuff, needs to be more careful with what he is saying and maybe the lessons aren’t going to be so painful and aren’t going to happen so often.
He came to that conclusion years ago, when the punishments first started. He just couldn’t do that. He’s tried so many times… but whatever he does or says never seems to please Dream and the punishments keep coming.
He wants to be the perfect son for Dream. He wants to make him as happy as Dream made him when he was adopted. (Sure back then you thought everything was going to be different, that everything was perfect)
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The door being slammed shut brings him back to reality. Why did he even space out in the first place? He should have been listening to what Dream was saying. After a few seconds, he hears Dream locking the door. He’s alone again.
Oh! Everything hurts! When did he get on the floor? Does that really matter? No, it doesn’t. He should really get ready for bed.
He gets up and falls back down.
Oh! I think Dream stepped on my ankle, and I don’t think it was just once. Is it broken? No. Is it sprained? Probably. Is it going to bruise? Without a doubt, yes.
Maybe, he subconsciously tried to get away from the punishment. (When will he stop calling them punishments?) That is the only reasonable explanation as to why Dream went for his leg.
It is well deserved. (Is it?) he thinks to himself but does he believe it.
He is also sure that the punch he got from earlier when he was partially paying attention to what was happening, is going to give him a black eye.
He can manage. It’s not like he has school anytime soon, it’s the beginning of summer break, and even if he did have to go to school, no one would notice. Maybe they would notice but no one would even care enough to ask what happened and how he got it. He doesn’t have any friends and the teachers are ignorant and don’t really care because he is known as the kid that always picks a fight. They are going to think that is what happened.
Even if they did ask, it is not like Tommy would tell them the truth because that would mean that he is going to be taken away from Dream. Dream would surely be disappointed and so would Tommy.
And Tommy is sure they would not ask anything and just write it off as him getting into another fight.
Maybe that is going to change. He does start high school soon. Technically it’s still the same school, it’s just in another building. I mean there are going to be new people and new teachers.
He is not going to make friends anyway because he is known as weird, loud, and annoying. He has been told that way too many times, that being the reason why he always picks fights. It’s not like what they are saying is not true. Dream always tells him that whenever he starts rambling about stuff that is not really important.
Why did the thought that something is going to change even cross his mind? He doesn’t have a clue.
Nothing is going to change. That is also what he thought after he was adopted by Dream. He thought that everything was always going to be puppies and rainbows. Oh! How wrong he was. He never realized that, in time, Dream was going to get sick of playing nice.
Was that his plan all along, playing nice so that he could lull me into a false sense of security and make me trust him just so that he could break that trust.
These thoughts feel like a betrayal towards Dream. He should stop thinking like that so he just pushes them aside in the back of his mind. He knows he shouldn’t listen to them. (There he goes again, not listening to the truth and lying to himself.)
He loves being with Dream, it’s not always bad, he sometimes acts like he used to, it’s just that… nevermind, he is just being ungrateful
Maybe… Just maybe, he is wrong this time around too. Maybe things will change. He sure hopes so, that is only because he feels lonely whenever he goes to school. He doesn’t want to be taken away from Dream. (You really should though.)