Chapter Text
Three Fingers
Another tiring day came to an end with Jinki sighting as he got into his car. All that had been troubling his mind when he was in the school buildings was left outside and he could finally breathe again. His students were approaching their SAT and to see them struggling with the incredible workload that he had to put upon them was hurting his soft nature. One could think that after his seven-year teaching career he would be used to getting his entrusted teenagers through the hardest period of their academic life, but he had never been able to detach himself from their struggles.
His bag put on the passenger seat, Jinki closed his eyes and leaned back as he took a few deep breaths to leave the eventful day behind him.
“Lee Jinki. You did good today.” He mumbled to himself before he started the engine. Maybe one day he would start believing it.
With heavy steps, Jinki entered his empty and cold apartment, wishing for someone to greet him after a long day at work. Instead he took one of the many flyers he had pasted on his refrigerator randomly deciding on what he would order for dinner.
Through the years of living alone it has become a habit to spend weekday evenings sitting by his window, watching the people following their duties while he ate, a usually ordered, dinner. He had placed a comfortable chair and a small table in a way that let him watch the pulsing life outside of his apartment without having to interact with other people.
It wasn’t that he disliked being sociable, he met up regularly with friends on weekends. Simply put, he was fed up with human interaction after a whole day of constantly paying attention to his speech and appearance. People-watching just naturally became something he enjoyed instead. Kibum, his elementary school friend, once told him that he was slowly but surely becoming an old grumpy man who would waste his best years by watching other people live their lives instead of living his own. To some extent, Jinki had to agree with him. He was afraid of commitment and combined with his rather peculiar preferences in bed it was hard to find someone he found worthy of his time.
Now at 33, he had mostly given up on finding someone permanent and just sometimes relied on hook-ups with mostly younger men to satisfy his sexual needs. Out of them though, no one resembled the men he watched when he was on his own. South Korean men weren’t known for being big but to Jinki most were still too well equipped. He didn’t mind, but deep down he wished to find someone who could at least compete with his fantasies.
The Seolleong-Tang he ordered arrived twenty minutes later and he sat down on his usual spot, looking outside into the world which was pulsing with life. Of course, his gaze would sometimes also find the windows of the people living in the apartments across the street, but he had realised how creepy it was to watch other people’s private lives unasked so he kept it to a minimum, only registering major changes. Changes like the apartment one storage below him on the other side who had been empty for a few weeks suddenly being lit up.
Before an elderly couple had shared the two room apartment so Jinki almost chocked on a piece of cabbage when a half-naked - from what he could see - very attractive man was carrying a box into the room, placing it right next to the window. This very moment when he first set his eyes on the unknown male Jinki was sure that this could be a problem in the future. He was a man of principles but even he was only human. Lately even a sexually frustrated human being, so looking away was harder than anticipated.
Within the next weeks he would be respectfully look at the handsome man when he hung his laundry in the small storage room to the right. Sometimes he caught a glimpse of him coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel. The desire to peak into the tall male’s apartment got so big that he temporarily moved his dinner spot to his couch where he would watch TV rather than the real world outside.
Whenever he did see the other male through the safety of his curtains, he was reminded how much he craved someone like him in his life. He tried not to observe him but it has been two years since he had properly been with someone and it was starting to show and the fact that the good-looking stranger preferably walked around without a shirt didn’t help to keeping his desires in check.
About a month into casually peeking into the apartment across the street, Jinki’s frustration had built up to a point where he wanted nothing more than to be thrown around in bed by that man. He rarely felt that way about another person but there was something about the way the latter walked, about the way he had decorated his apartment, that permanently occupied Jinki’s mind.
The main room had been transformed into a cosy bedroom and was lacking nothing but curtains. For some reason the stranger hadn’t installed any even though winter was approaching and the light in his room completely exposed everything. That included a scene Jinki knew he shouldn’t have set his eyes on.
The first time Jinki caught the handsome man masturbating, he almost choked on his water. Not only because he hadn’t expected the other to be dumb enough to do it in a well-lit room at dusk without any curtains pulled, but mostly because of his lack in size.
Falsifying all expectations, the tall, well-built man was rubbing his penis with only two fingers and a thumb – not more needed to cover the short manhood - while he held his phone in his other hand, probably watching porn. Jinki swallowed hard. If anything, this made the stranger even more attractive.
He hadn’t told anyone about hid adoration for small dicks – feeling like a pervert for having such an unusual preference. Whenever he had been talking to others they have spoken well of big dicks, almost making it a competition who had the biggest or whose partner is better equipped. In competitions for the biggest penis, Jinki had always scored high and he guessed his interest in the other extreme to have been fuelled by the lack of personal experience with small shafts.
Due to the general opinion of “bigger is better” he has never voiced his own opinion, feeling out of place and strange, often wondering if something was wrong with him. Today, he knew that it was fairly normal - some people had a size kink for huge ones, he was the opposite. Nevertheless had he not talked about it to anyone, still waiting for the moment when he would finally experience how it was to be intimate with someone who was quite a bit below average.
There was something about the way small penises could be handled, the way the actors in his fetish porn movies were theatrically struggling to properly penetrate their partner that never failed to get him over the edge. Ever so often would he just use a finger to penetrate his anus, trying to imagine how it would feel if it were someone’s penis just barely stretching his rim.
Even though he couldn’t see anything clearly - being too far away to properly see – he was aroused within seconds. Seeing someone who was a reincarnation of his fantasies has never happened before and despite the stranger masturbating in the distance, he felt his blood rushing south. His previous sexual partners had mostly been of an average size, some even slightly above. Ever since he had found his preference for small cocks, he had barely been intimate with anyone as nobody could fit the picture he had painted of a desirable sexual partner.
The pulsing in Jinki’s crotch didn’t stop but got more intense by the minute as Jinki was unable to take his eyes off the masturbating man. As far as Jinki could make out, his dick had grown a little since he had started jerking off, still not reaching anywhere close near the average size. In desperation Jinki pressed onto the hard member in his pants, trying to keep himself from jerking himself off while watching this handsome man work on his tiny dick. He wasn’t a creep like that.
Even when the stranger’s movements sped up, clearly approaching his orgasm, Jinki kept his hand out of his pants, biting onto his lips to keep himself from any inappropriate actions – not that it mattered anymore anyway. Watching such a private moment was bad enough but looking away was impossible. Only ten minutes into it, he saw the other’s hips lift off the bed, as he most surely orgasmed in his hand. Sadly, Jinki was too far away to see anything.
While the stranger was reaching for the tissue box, cleaning himself up shortly, Jinki’s mind started to clear up and he realised what he had done. Immediately, he closed the curtains and threw himself onto his bed, his dick staining the insides of his briefs with precum as it bulged uncomfortably against the material.
“What the fuck Lee Jinki!” he shouted into the empty room, hitting the sides of his face to regain control over his thoughts. This first time he let his boner die down, unable to let himself get off because he had watched another person jerk off in secret. But after that night it only got worse.
Jinki caught himself peeking into the stranger’s apartment several times a night, secretly hoping to catch him in the act once more. Sometimes he was lucky, sometimes he wasn’t. When he was, Jinki no longer kept his composure. The closer the final exams came the more stressed he was, resulting in almost inexistent self-control.
The stranger always did it on his bed and the moment the latter’s hand disappeared into his briefs, Jinki turned off his lights and sat down on his chair with a heavy sigh, knowing that he could no longer resist his desires. While the man in the apartment across the street was still typing on his phone with his other hand - probably searching for something worth watching – Jinki pulled out his member, tugging on the heavy length lazily while it stiffened up slowly.
By the time the stranger was finally rubbing his dick inside his underwear with one hand while he held the phone in front of his face with the other, Jinki was already fully hard. He felt disappointment rush through his veins when the other pulled out his hand, his tiny penis barely showing through the grey fabric as he rubbed his hands over it. But disappointment soon changed into something else: excitement.
Jinki it seemed that the man from across the street loved to play with himself through his briefs and despite his original displeasure Jinki came to adore the sight of loose fabric draped over the stranger’s privates. Although he would love to see him completely bare, Jinki was surprisingly intrigued by the teasing nature of only setting his eyes on the grey fabric of the other’s briefs.
He also didn’t seem to be in a rush because rather than aiming for release, the unknown man lazily caressed his member, sometimes slipping inside his underwear to tug at it, sometimes gently brushing over it. During what felt like hours and turned out to be a little over forty minutes, the stranger took breaks to presumably look for new tapes, leaving his erection completely unattended for minutes.
For Jinki, it got a lot more intense than he expected. Several times did he almost reach his orgasm, using all his self-control to pull his hand away, dick throbbing in need of friction as he denied it touch. He didn’t want to come before the other finished himself off. It would be a waste to come prematurely and missing the rest of the show. It would be the only time he allowed himself to masturbate as he watched the handsome man – the only exception he would ever make.
Edging himself for almost half an hour completely took a toll on him and he started walking back and forth by the window, his hard dick bouncing with his steps as he tried to keep himself from getting over the edge. But even as he was pacing from one side to another, he never averted his gaze, keeping his eyes focused on the other man at all times. He was so focused on the stranger’s statue like body and his even prettier private parts to make sure he wouldn’t miss the orgasm he has been waiting for, so he could finally get over the edge himself.
Close to forty minutes into it, he finally saw the man’s hips convulse as a very obvious wet spot formed in the grey briefs and Jinki was able to let go. He was panting with an open mouth while his right hand was rubbing his shaft in almost super-human speed, the muscles in his arm moving as fast as he could. The orgasm that overcame him shortly was so intense that he needed to hold himself up with his left arm as his legs were getting weak, hand pressed onto the cold glass of the window while he shot hot strings of cum against it, thrusting into his hand. His eyes were closed throughout his orgasm, head pulsing from the incredible pleasure of finally releasing the pressure that has built up within over half an hour of constant edging.
He couldn’t even watch how his cum was slowly dripping along the clear surface of the glass as he let himself slowly down onto the floor where he spread out his whole body, his dick returning to its flaccid state. This had been, by far, the best and most intense orgasm he had had in ages - if not even in his whole life - but also exhausting to an extent that he barely made it to his bed, even less being able to reflect on his actions.
The morning after was the worst. He was confronted with reality and the fact that he had become a creepy voyeur who got off from secretly watching strangers masturbate. There was no denying how good he felt and how much he was attracted to the other man’s body and Jinki knew he would have a hard time refraining from repeating his actions from last night.
Luckily work gave him a way to escape his thoughts but the moment he used to look forward to, turned into another part of his day he would like to avoid. The very minute he took his first deep breaths in his car brought back memories from last night.
“Dammit Lee Jinki. What are you doing?!” He said to himself, the compliment he usually gave himself feeling unsuitable for the way he was feeling.
His Jajjang-Myeon arrived shortly past 19:30, Jinki not taking even a step near his window afraid of catching the stranger in a similar situation. Right before he started eating he decided it would probably be best to close his curtains, taking away the constant awareness of the house across the street.
This decision turned out to have a counter-effect. The short moment when he was standing at the window was enough to register a piece of paper that was taped onto the window of the familiar apartment across the street. The words written on it; he had more trouble registering:
“Did you enjoy the show? Tonight, 20:30”
Jinki’s body froze, a shudder running down his spine as he read it again.
And again.
It took him at least ten tries to properly understand what those words actually meant. The stranger from across the street knew. He knew that he had watched him – and he invited him to watch again.
Jinki immediately walked away from the window forgetting to pull his curtains while his mind was running in circles - partly from embarrassment, wondering when the other had noticed him and why he hadn’t registered the other seeing him, partly from the sudden arousal that he was, once more, confronted with.
“Fuck” Jinki mumbled when he finally added one and one together. He must have seen him while he had his eyes closed, right when he came. It hadn’t been that late yet, the last rays of daylight probably making it possible for the stranger to see into his apartment. He couldn’t but blame the full-scale window that almost reached the floor which he had been so excited about when he first moved in.
He didn’t turn up at the announced time but kept his light turned off, going to bed early – not falling asleep but pretending not to be at home. He was filled with shame of having been discovered. Even more, when he thought about the state the other had seen him in: sweaty and panting while ejaculating onto the window, probably bent over in an unnatural position.
It took several days until Jinki got close to that window again, doing his best to stay hidden from a certain male across the street.
The piece of paper had been replaced with a new one that made Jinki swallow hard.
“Don’t be shy. 21:30”
He looked at the clock on his wall. 20:24. More than an hour left. By that time it would be dark, Jinki noticed and the next hour, he spent ashamed of his own temptation to take the invitation.
What exactly made him give in, he didn’t know, but at exactly 21:30 he hesitantly sat down onto his chair, looking out of the window to see where this was taking him. He wasn’t watching unasked anymore and even if it still felt wrong, at least his consciousness could be calmed by the fact that the other seemed to WANT him to watch.
The darkness around Jinki completely hid him from the man who came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, turning his head to face where he expected Jinki to be. Despite knowing that there was no possible way for the handsome stranger to see him, Jinki’s heart dropped the moment he was facing in his direction. He couldn’t make out the details of his face but even when seeing him from this distance he still knew that this man was absolutely gorgeous.
Shortly, the other was walking away from the window, turning on a second lamp on his way before making himself comfortable. For a moment Jinki was confused at this random act before he understood that the other was now expecting to be watched, setting everything up for Jinki to have the best experience possible.
Jinki’s legs were trembling with excitement while the stranger removed his clothes completely, leaving him completely bare and spread out on the bed. A few minutes into it, Jinki noticed one huge difference to the first time he had watched the other masturbate: while the handsome man was moving his fingers along his short shaft, no phone was in sight. Instead, his eyes were closed, sometimes opening to have a glimpse in Jinki’s direction.
It would be impossible for the stranger to see him, as Jinki sat in the dark while the other was in a fully lit-up room; despite that giving him a sense of security, something in Jinki wanted to let the other know that he was there. He quickly dismissed that thought as the tall male was licking his hand slowly and brought it back down to his manhood, probably spreading spit to lube it up.
While Jinki’s mind was still unsure if this was the right thing to do, his penis knew exactly what it wanted, tenting in his sweat pants within minutes, staining the soft fabric with the first drops of precum that formed without him even touching the aching length.
“Fuck this.” Jinki mumbled, grabbing his cock almost violently, pulling it out of its confinement as fast as he could and started teasing it, mimicking the movements of the stranger across the street. The three fingers the latter used barely satisfied Jinki physically, but his mind was going crazy.
Thinking about how, for the other, this was the perfect amount of friction, how this was able to satisfy him while it barely tickled his member – it made him lose his mind. He imagined how it would feel to hold the other in his hands, how soft it would be, how hard he would get. So many things he desired to know, so much he wanted to explore.
The closer Jinki came to his orgasm, the more intense got the deep desire of letting the stranger know about his presence. At one point, shortly before he felt himself get over the edge and without thinking twice, he turned on the lamp by the window with his foot, suddenly leaving him completely exposed, adrenaline rushing through his body. His legs spread wide, his twitching penis pointing up to his belly button while he rapidly stroked it with only three fingers, eyes fixed on the man across the street who immediately noticed the change the moment the light turned on.
When their gazes met, just for a second, neither of them moved even a muscle and everything Jinki could register was the smirk on the stranger’s face when he started rubbing his member faster after making sure that he was being watched. It felt as if electricity was pumping through Jinki’s body as he ejaculated just seconds later, his body curling up into a ball, feet lifting off the floor as he released all over his body, some hitting the chair, a few strings even hitting the window.
Immediately after his orgasm, Jinki turned the light back off, moving away from the window as if he was chased by lions. What had he been thinking? The stranger now knew his face, he could never leave the house again without fearing he would randomly bump into him.
From that night on, going out of his apartment felt like a secret mission as he payed attention not to walk around in the neighbourhood if not absolutely necessary. The underground parking came in handy and he tried to do most of his grocery shopping on the way home from school rather than going to the convenient store around the corner he used to frequent at.
Throughout the following weeks Jinki kept checking for new messages, never disappointed as there was a new one each day. He ignored all of them. He had promised himself not to do it again. He didn’t want to look needy. He didn’t want to seem like a pervert – despite obviously being one. He missed watching the unknown man masturbate. He missed the thrill of masturbating to a real person - even more if said man looked as if he was the incarnation of his dreams.
Jinki even tried to hook-up with someone he had been talking to on one of his apps – they even set a date but the other cancelled the meeting last minute, leaving Jinki sexually frustrated, embarrassed and humiliated in his empty apartment.
Why was everything so complicated? Couldn’t he be lucky for once in his life?
As if Friday nights weren’t bad enough anyway. He was exhausted from the week, now this had to happen to him and all Kibum had to say was:
“Sometimes alcohol IS a solution.”
In fact, it had been a while since he had last gotten drunk so maybe that was a way to salvage what was left of this night.
After putting on a hoodie and shoes he reached for his wallet and walked out of his apartment to buy a few bottles of soju. If life kept coming at him like this, he would probably need a few more in the near future.
Setting foot in the familiar convenient store he hadn’t visited for so long felt strange and reminded him of the reason for his lack in visits. After pulling up his hood he grabbed a handful of green bottles, and quickly walked to the counter to pay for his goods.
“I haven’t seen you in a while!” The part-time worker exclaimed when she recognised Jinki while she scanned the bottles. “That’s 25’000 won then”
“Yeah… I have been busy.” Jinki said while he handed over the bills. It wasn’t a lie but also not the reason why he hadn’t visited for the past month.
“Thank you, take care!” The worker said with a smile on her face.
“Good night.” He answered politely, glad to finally leave the store without having bumped into the man he had been avoiding for weeks. But of course, he wouldn’t be that lucky. Just as he was about to leave the convenient store a sudden “Hey” almost made him drop his green bottles.
Jinki turned around and faced his most beautiful dream turning into his biggest nightmare that very moment.
With a smirk playing around his lips the stranger said:
“I’m Choi Minho. What’s your name?”
A/N
I doubled the length of the first chapter - I hope it gives a little more insight into the character of Lee Jinki and the whole situation they find themselves in. It is possible that the other two chapters will be extended by a similar amount but I won't promise anything for now! I'll see where it takes me.
I would be so so thankful for comments because motivation has been running low lately (as some might have noticed).XX
R