Chapter Text
Katsuki's red eyes shot open as a wave of absolute batshit horrifying panic came over him. With a tremble rushing over his body every couple of seconds he very slowly sat up his breathing growing louder and louder echoing in the darkness of the room in a way a clock would if he had any.
His heartbeat was life-threateningly fast, and his palms sweated so hard he was worried he would cause an explosion any second blowing up his sheets into pieces. It seemed impossible, but even so, it was as if only now the ash-blond came to the astonishing conclusion of what happened earlier that night.
Did they really fucking…kissed?!
He brushed his sweaty palms into the sheets to avoid waking the whole damn dorm with an explosion. This was the first time he genuinely felt like he could lose control since those first nights after his kidnapping. It was surreal if he was being honest.
The fuck he was freaking out like this?
It happened.
He knew it happened. He was fucking there, leaning down, pressing his own freezing lips against hers, even holding her afterward and teasing her that she was no longer Tsuyu but Tsu in his life and mind. So he freaking knew!
Fuck, he really did kiss her.
Katsuki crashed back down against his pillow and coved his face with his now partly dried palms. So why the fuck did it take him this long to freak out? It happened yesterday-wait, it happened tonight so technically it happened today!
They walked back to the dorms. He threw his arm around her and kept her warm avoiding any glances and laughter from the others only telling them to shut up and die like two times which those fucking losers should consider themselves lucky for. The parting was a bit quick since they almost missed the curfew and with their rooms on different floors and sides, he couldn't actually talk to her just wishing her a quiet night before she got dragged in the crowd of girls to their part of the doors.
He didn't think much of it then though. It was as if the experience shocked him and her presence calm him enough not to freak out or even consider it like something he should think or freak out over for that matter.
But it happened, and it changed shit between them and in his life now.
She kissed him too.
His mind easily supplied the image of her stepping up on her toes first to reach him, so it was clear she liked him too. The way she buried her head against his chest and joked with him like it was any other time when it was just the two of them, it wasn't any different. It didn't feel all that different. Perhaps, that was why despite how radical and life-changing it was, Katsuki didn't feel the need to feel any different about it than he had about the countless times' something friendly and nice happened between them. Tsu made it seem so natural and just lovely.
She was lovely. She was so stupidly lovely he felt like a sap for thinking about how cute and lovely and so Tsu-adorable she looked not just before and after the kiss, but all the damn time because she just was.
Lovely
So why was he freaking out now? What was his deal?
He didn't lose her. He didn't have to tell her anything. They just kissed. It didn't have to mean anything if it freaked him out too much or-
What if it didn't mean anything?!
He asked her to go to a festival with him, kept her close, and kissed her. What if it really didn't mean anything just a spur of the moment? She did look at him for a moment like she just realized something, maybe that he was looking at her and thought-
What the fuck he was doing?!
He was never this insecure, or was he? Why was he acting like an insecure mess overthinking shit like he didn't know better?
Katsuki crossed his arms looking at his ceiling.
He knew for a fact he was popular with stupid girls back in Aldera Junior High. He didn't care for them one bit since they were useless for him back then and cared only because everyone else thought he was a big deal because of his quirk, but he knew they talked about him. It was bullshit really. They liked him because of bullshit reasons. Everyone liked him because of bullshit reasons back then. But Tsu… if she did like him, she didn't like him because of that. If she did like him, she probably didn't feel so because of some bullshit reason like how he looked or what kind of quirk he had. She was the most no-bullshit person he ever met. If she liked him, she really liked him with his stupid hothead and loud attitude, arrogance, and cockiness. If she liked him-
-But then again, she wasn't the type to kiss someone she didn't like.
She was Tsu.
She wasn't like that. Katsuki knew her that much and more. She was observant and analytical despite her bluntness she thought about things a lot before she actually made a move. She wasn't irrational or reckless, but she wasn't someone who would deny herself things or shy away from challenges.
A smile almost crept against his mouth thinking about her again and how happy she looked tonight after their kiss as it was the first time, he got to see her face without being covered by a large scarf, that night. He felt like the biggest most idiotic sap in the world and oddly proud of it because she really did look so beautiful it was hard to even be annoyed with himself about feeling the way he had tonight.
He felt a rush of his own happiness, warmth, and all those fuzzy and nice feelings he often got around her before his eyes widened and the realization that he was allowing himself to feel such things arose and shut them down.
Idiot!
What the fuck was he thinking? He didn't have time for a girlfriend.
His face turned into a grimace as he always found the word so obnoxious and pathetic. In fact, the whole notion was stupid, and he felt a sense of resentment toward some of his male classmates who seemed to be interested in getting some chick.
Katsuki wanted to be a hero.
Katsuki wanted to be the fucking Number One Hero. He needed to work on himself. His grades, his workouts, his progress, his work at the agency. All of that and more depended on his focus and determination. He needed to keep his focus there. Not waste time and spit with some girl. His head needed to be on his goal one-hundred-percent and more. He already felt like he was falling behind that stupid Nerd. Every time he thought he would win, he only ended up further behind while Deku not only caught up to him but even seemed to be a step ahead causing the ash-blonde's blood to boil. That all happened while Katsuki was with his head in the game. The fuck would happen if he had some girl stealing his attention and time? He would get left behind even further? What? He would end up at the bottom of the class ranks?
Like hell, he would!
No fucking way, he was allowing that to happen.
Not to mention top heroes didn't make for good partners. Just fucking look at Half and Half's old man or literally any good hero he knew. All Might was alone. Aizawa was alone. Best Jeanist was alone. It made sense. In order to fully dedicate himself, he needed to fucking dedicate himself only to be stronger, better, and a hero. Period! He dreamed of this since he was a little brat. He knew this was all he ever wanted. He couldn't…he just couldn't give it up. Not even…not even for someone as awesome and lovely as Tsu.
So…he needed to tell Tsu that he couldn't have a girlfriend. He wouldn't have the time. Not for shitty romantic dates. Not for long discussions about their feelings which he would absolutely be rubbish at since he was shitty with talks about feelings. Not for anything. He couldn't afford distractions. Yes, he needed to tell her that. He needed to tell her that…that…
His traitor mind supplied the memory of Tsu's face right before she stepped on her toes to kiss him and then how she buried herself against him and his full-on enemy of a heart speeded up supplying his body with the familiar warmth and feeling of tension and static.
Fuck!
Katsuki realized he didn't want to tell her that. He fucking couldn't tell her that! It would be a shitty thing to say. It was a shitty and pathetic thing to even think. It might have been true. They were in U.A to become heroes not to start high school romances, but still the thought of actually letting her go and not being with her after their kiss was unsettling almost to the point of unacceptable.
He liked Tsu.
He liked her so fucking damn much it was pathetic, cheesy, and perhaps absolutely useless to his goal and life, but the fifteen-year-old ash-blond couldn't help himself. He just liked her.
Although it was hard to admit at first since how the hell did that even happen to him, and then even harder to admit to what extent did he really like her because how the hell did that happen to him, Katsuki knew it was something he couldn't deny or hide from himself or apparently others who made fun of them pressing his buttons until he basically ordered her to go out with him. (Fucking assholes! He needed to get new friends, or at least ditch his old ones.)
The point was he liked her, and even now, in the darkness of his room knowing it would be the right option given his lifelong dream and goal, the ash-blond couldn't force himself to even hypothetically do it because it was just impossible to even think about.
He was fucked.
Katsuki liked Tsu a lot, and he was jealous-YES, HE WAS FUCKING JEALOUS at that perv Fish Eyes, and that Half and Half Bastard, and even Deku at times. He couldn't and didn't want to imagine her ever kissing anyone else. He didn't want her to ever kiss or look the way she had at him tonight at anyone else, or he would fucking murder that person's future dream on the line or not.
Tsu…You fucking ruined me, you stupid Froggy!
Despite his own humiliation, anger, and anxiety a sense of fondness entered his heart once as he once again recalled the way she looked at him tonight. All soft and lovely and Tsu!
'Fuck, just shut up,' he said mostly exhausted from his internal struggle and facepalmed his own forehead to urge his brain to go to sleep. It was the dead of the night. The fuck would he resolve now? Everything was fine a couple of hours ago, he just needed to leave it at that and deal with whatever bullshit tomorrow.
Tsu, his dream, his life just needed to wait for him to get at least some sleep for now. So with a stubbornness so typical of him, Katsuki forced his eyes shut and turned his brain off urging himself to sleep for now.
Due to staying up late, Katsuki woke up even later than he wanted to which disrupted his daily schedule. He had less time in the gym, less time for breakfast, and definitely less time to get ready for his first day in Endeavor Agency.
'Good morning, Baku-chan, can we talk, or are you running away again, kero?' asked Tsu, who appeared dressed in her uniform under the heavy winter jacket, clearly also ready to go to Ryukyu Agency in front of his door just as he opened them.
He was running late, but maybe Deku and Half and Half could wait. He was still a bit surprised the bastard offered him to come to his old man's agency in the first place. He and Deku were friends, so that wasn't something out of the ordinary, but for him to ask Katsuki it seemed more than weird enough. Sure, they suffered rather painfully in the ash-blonde opinion together in the Remedial Course, but as he pointed out in the interview which fucking cut his answers off, they were not friends.
'The hell are you talking about, I'm not running away from you,' he argued feeling slightly annoyed that she or anyone would think that, 'What you think I'm scared of you now, Tsu?'
'Yes,' she replied fearlessly putting a finger against her lower lip and tilting her head a bit to the side to look at him.
He wasn't running away from her. He just didn't want for the first time he would talk to her be when they were both surrounded with all their classmates who weren't subtle for shit obviously looking at them and waiting for some sort of show or whatever. His demand to take her to the winter festival was enough for them to get ideas, and if any of them caught their kiss during the fireworks, he knew for sure that person blabbed all over the place.
Katsuki's face and cheeks no doubt revealed just how embarrassed he was by it all no matter how hard he tried to push it down. Honestly, fuck her a bit, for being so good in calling him out on his bullshit.
Nervously, he rubbed the back of his neck looking at his shoes trying to figure out what to say to explain his own anguish without making it seem like he wasn't on board with what happened between them. He still wasn't totally sure how to deal with it all, but he knew she needed some answer since she showed up here like this now, 'I don't want people to butt into my business.'
'I know,' said Tsu confidently because of course she knew. She spent enough time with him to know him. Maybe better than anyone.
'Am I a part of your business?' asked the girl in such a soft and completely opposite way to how she spoke a moment ago, the ash-blond looked up at her a bit confused. Her face was vacant as always, but with her voice and how suddenly despite the jacket and her usual height she seemed even smaller now, Katsuki instantly knew she was genuinely worried about his answer.
Of-fucking-course she was, he realized feeling denser than Kaminari in that very moment because how could he not realize she might be freaking out about this too? Also, him avoiding her probably didn't help her feel confident about it for shit.
'Damn right,' he said not as loudly but with firmness, he knew more than made up for the volume before he stepped closer toward Tsu almost to the point he could press his chest against hers, 'You're my fucking business, and-'
Both of them slightly turned as they heard voices of their classmates who also must have been getting ready to leave for their agencies, and Katsuki cursed pulling out his phone to check the time and see he was very late now. Deku and Half and Half must have already been outside.
Licking his lips, he felt his heartbeat speed up as he hoped Tsu wouldn't get offended, 'Listen, can we talk later? Half and Half got me and Deku to work at Endeavor's Agency. I don't want to-'
'It's fine,' assured him Tsu and smiled even with no sign of the previous concern whatsoever in her voice or face.
'Honestly, I just wanted to be sure. I couldn't sleep overthinking, and got worried kero,' she admitted without any embarrassment like she always did. Embarrassing, pathetic, weak, or whatever Tsu never had a problem talking about anything. Luckily, more than making up for the fact, that Katsuki did.
'I will text you when I get back,' he said and moved past her as she stepped out of his way, 'We can talk then.'
'Good,' agreed Tsu with a nod which meant he could finally rush out.
Just before he did, however, he felt her take a hold of his arm and pull him toward her height. That was new.
Before he could comprehend what exactly, the sea-green-haired girl was planning with a confused frown on his face, he felt her soft lips ever so slightly press against the skin on his cheek practically causing him to burst into flames the moment she pushed him away back to his original height.
'See you late, Baku-chan,' said Tsu looking even more adorable with a slight blush across her face before she walked out.
That girl is going to be the fucking death of him one day.
His phone rang and without checking the ID caller he answered still looking where the girl disappeared, 'Hi, Kacchan? Are you alright? Where are you?'
Katsuki awoke from his trancelike state and shouted into the phone the remaining warmth of the girl's lips against his skin brought still spreading inside his body, 'I'M ON MY FUCKING WAY, YOU USELESS NERD! TELL THAT HALF AND HALF BASTARD NOT TO GET HIS PANTIES IN A TWIST!'
Although it turned out not to be a total waste of time by the end of it, with the old fuck actually deciding to train all of them and not just his brat, Katsuki would still prefer if they did more at the agency feeling like they spend too much time just doing nothing or pointless shit.
He took a shower and changed before he remembered he agreed to let Tsu know so they could talk. He wanted to get dinner, but at the same time knew he really didn't want any of their nosy as hell classmates to see them and run their mouths or worse try to join them.
Her knock on the door came fifteen minutes later followed by Tsu entering his room with a lunch box, 'Ochako-chan and I were allowed to leave early today so we cooked dinner. I thought you probably wanted to talk without the others' poorly eavesdropping. I'm pretty sure Mina purposely set camp in the kitchen to try and catch us.'
The ash-blond cursed, and quickly locked his door after Tsu came in, 'In case, Ashido tries to barge in.'
However, as he moved past the annoyance over his nosy classmates, he realized something else she said.
'Cheeks can't cook to save her life,' said Katsuki immediately before he had time to comprehend what she was just doing. She cooked and brought him the food because she assumed he would be hungry, and wouldn't like to talk in front of the others. It shouldn't surprise him. He made peace long ago that he and Tsu just got each other. They seemed to be good and reading one and another and liked to spend time together, but at times, it still surprised just how well the girl could read his thoughts and needs and work with them. Katsuki was positive he never meant anyone who could do that for him. His parents tried, but his mother was just as hotheaded as him and his father was too mellow. When he was a brat, Deku, who used to be his best friend was a pushover, and the others were just pathetic followers who only added into the bullshit persona he created of someone who thought he was the shit just because he was born under a lucky star with a flashy quirk. Even now the closest someone came was Kirishima, and even he could at best roll with his anger and needs not actually respond to them in a way that could calm him or offer solutions the way Tsu could and proved that she could ever single damn time.
If he wasn't so pathetically bad with feelings he would become aware of them long ago because no one could be this blind to how good someone like her was for them. Not even someone as stubborn and hotheaded as him.
As Katsuki took the lunch box as he recognized it as the one she brought him chili cookies in once, he felt his chest tighten and then release with a sense of warmth rushing all over him because how could he now?
'Thanks.'
'You haven't even tried it yet, kero,' pointed out Tsu while she went to sit on the edge of his bed like she always did. She came here so often now, Katsuki wasn't even put off by her presence there and found her sitting there close to something natural.
'Maybe it's shit.' Whenever she tried to speak like him, she purposely used a different voice to underline the words. It was ridiculous and make her sound funny. He liked that about her. He liked fucking everything about her.
'Nuh-uh,' he disagreed and opened the lunch box taking the chopsticks to dig into the katsudon, 'Unlike the rest of those co-depending brats, your cooking's good.' It really was, but he didn't expect anything less from it.
'Cheeks suggested this for Deku, didn't she?' he asked already knowing the answer. Both of those idiots were predictable as fuck.
Tsu blinked at the question and although her face didn't give anything away her voice was curious when she asked, 'How do you know?'
'It's the nerd's favorite,' said Katsuki not even that much annoyed that he still remembered that, given the fact that it was really good, and he felt genuinely comfortable sitting here in his room with her like they did so many times before. He thought it would be weird or there would be some shift now that they kissed, but in overall nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He spent the day doing his hero work and only had time for her now as he would anyway. She often spent time with him in his room. It wasn't like they spend all their time together. They had other friends and annoying classmates in his case and hung out around those too. They still spend all their free time working on themselves to become better heroes.
It never cut back on their goals before, why would it now?
He paused his eating and looked at her.
She watched him eat and when she noticed his gaze she smiled. She didn't look any different than the day before or the week before he asked her to the festival. Tsu always looked her calm and emotionless self, but with a soft smile so people would know she wasn't distant or reserved but very nice.
'Something's wrong, kero? You stopped eating,' she pointed out straightening as if she expected him to admit something bad some of her relaxed mood fading in preparation for the bad news.
The ash-blond shook his head, 'Food's good. You know it is.'
Tsu watched him for a split second and then blinked like she must have read his mind the way she sometimes could so damn easily it should bother him, but it didn't. It hadn't for a long time now.
'We can talk after you finish eating,' she assured him and kicked her slippers off to pull her legs onto his bed and sit crossed-legged to face him. Tsu wasn't complicated or difficult. From all the people he knew she was the least of both of those things. She was blunt in the way she spoke and her feelings. She always said what she meant and meant what she said. If she didn't want to say something she said so, and she had her priorities straight doing what she could and had to in order to achieve her goals just like him. Unlike him, she wasn't emotionally scarred and bad at feelings. She let everything in the open allowing herself to be vulnerable at least in front of him knowing that admitting to everything that she was, made her better, stronger, and above all human. She was fearless and lovely, and if she wouldn't mind, he would like to have her in his life.
He nodded and finished the dish before he thanked her for the food and turned to her.
'I like you,' he said forcing himself to look into her eyes. He knew the heat was getting to his cheeks and felt it wondering if he would ever get over it and not blush like an idiot in front of this girl sometimes playing with the idea that from the two of them, she seemed to be the more confident one which he absolutely refused to accept.
A sweet smile pushed against the corner of Tsu's lips and some red color covered her face as well making her look even more adorable in the ash-blond's eyes, 'I like you too, Baku-chan. A lot.'
Despite his own embarrassment, it felt some satisfying as hell to see her in such a state admitting to the same agonizing affection, he had for her for so damn long it felt like ages all the while looking just as lame as he must have. At least he wasn't the only pathetic loser here.
He smugly smirked thriving on the confidence caused by her reaction fully letting her see his reaction obviously getting some out of her too as her face got even more red and the color seemed to travel from her face to her chest before it disappeared in the opening of her shirt.
Fuck me sideways if that wasn't the most intriguing thing I ever saw, Katsuki shamelessly thought to himself all the while a lonesome thought crossed his mind about just far that blush would go.
'Kero,' let out Tsu while she cleared her throat and looked back at him trying to get her own embarrassed state of mind under control, 'I just wanted you to know that you don't have to say anything, and we don't have to do anything differently. I like how close we are, and that we're friends above anything else,' she confessed, and the ash-blond felt himself mentally agree. It figured, Tsu would be rational about this as she was about everything else, 'I can imagine us being boyfriend and girlfriend,' she said and the Katsuki despite himself grimaced because the words sounded so fucking lame and cheesy.
However, the girl didn't seem to mind as she giggled a bit at his reaction before she carried on in a good mood, 'and just do everything we did until now. We…we care for each other either way. We will try to find time to spend together, either way, we hug and touch each other pretty often too,' she said and both of them blushed some more as if they weren't future pro-heroes who kicked assess and handled dangerous, serious, and mature situations daily, but a pair of pathetic middle-schoolers standing too close next to their first crush, 'so that doesn't have to change,' the way she described it, it really sounded like nothing changed between them or their relationship. Katsuki genuinely liked the idea. Maybe he was worried about bullshit and just overthinking this. Tsu was cool. She was the fucking coolest girl he knew. She wasn't a sappy clingy idiotic chick like some of the other girls who tried to shove their valentine chocolates in his hands. No. Not Tsu. She was fearless, awesome, and understood him like no one else. She knew when to push harder and when to back off. She knew him just as he fucking knew her. If he was being a bit more mature about this, she was possibly the only type of person who could handle him and actually not got damaged or hurt along the way, and if he was being totally subjective only speaking from his stupidly beating fast-even-now heart, she was the only girl he wanted to be the one to do that. He just liked her too damn. If he ever fucking could allow anyone to be that sort of person for him, it just had to be her.
'Besides,' she said after a moment giving him time, but perhaps he took too much, and she felt the need to disrupt the silence, 'at least now I can tell people I have someone else I like, so they would back off. Some people really don't take no for an answer when it comes from a woman, you know? It's so sexist, kero.'
'What the fuck? Who doesn't take a no? Fish Eyes?! Because I can fucking go there right now and beat his sorry ass-'
Tsu's hand appeared on his cheek, all warm, big and tender successfully shutting him up all the while his lips remained parted, 'Relax, Baku-chan, please.'
She smiled at him truly helping him relax almost like she cast a spell. Fuck, she really was good at this since, despite some mild annoyance, he didn't feel as angry as he was. If anyone told him before there could be a person who could make him cool down like this, he would be angry since that would imply someone could fucking control him as they please, this didn't feel like control, at least not in the sense that Katsuki was losing it. If anything, Tsu's ability to calm him down like this felt like she was giving the control that was slipping through his fingers back to him.
His own hand reached out and covered hers on his cheeks causing her to blink, but her smile stayed present.
They remained like that for a moment just taking it all in, the familiar intensity he felt so many times now once again fell over them and the feeling of heat crossed his body. This time, Katsuki didn't fight it, and rather let it settle over him looking at Tsu for the first time not feeling like he was doing something wrong which would cause him only problems and mess with his priorities. It didn't feel like he needed to look away despite how intense and hot it was getting. In fact, he didn't want to. For a moment at least, it felt really good to be able to touch her and for her to touch him and for the both of them just to be still and quiet at the moment. It was probably too damn optimistic to think it would only be like this, but if it was Katsuki would be beyond happy as fuck about it.
The ash-blond swallowed a bit and put her hand down against his knee but still didn't let it go keeping it in his, 'I…I want to try,' he confessed realizing that he genuinely meant it. Katsuki didn't like to try things. In fact, he rarely used to word. You either fucking did or nothing. He always achieved everything he wanted and said he would. Well, not always as he failed just as many times as he won, but he didn't try anything, he just did. End of story. However, for the first time, it didn't feel right not to say it. It didn't feel right to guarantee something he was this fucking new at. He wanted to be a good boyfriend (fuck, he wanted a less lame word). He wanted to be the fucking best of the best and for everyone to know that Tsu was the luckiest girl in the world because he was the damn best shit, but…he wasn't sure if he could. He wasn't doubting himself. Not in a way, someone else might have, but he was being honest about what he knew about himself and could do.
'I promise I will do my fucking best,' he said and meant it as well squeezing her hand in the process as if he truly added something like an actual meaning into the promise and that he would do his fucking best.
'But…,' he narrowed his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows feeling a bit ashamed just letting the words out since they sounded so not like him, 'I might hurt you.'
He could. He wasn't an idiot. He already did if he counted the time, he had a fight with her about her family. He hurt her then and didn't apologize for weeks because of his own damn pride hurting her and himself further. He didn't want to do that again. He never wanted to do that again, but he knew himself well enough to guarantee it. Tsu was cool and awesome. She could handle his shit and not take his bullshit more than anyone he ever met, but she was just human. And neither of them could say he would never say or do something that would hurt her as much as he did when he talked about her family before.
'If I fucking hurt you, you have to right to hurt me back.'
It was the only he would be willing to allow them to be together. Heroes didn't make good partners. He was sure of that.
Tsu didn't give him a look, but the way her smile fell a bit, he knew she didn't approve, 'Baku-chan-'
'No, listen, if I fucking hurt you, you have hurt me back. Slap me, kick me, punch me as hard as you can, or toss me with your tongue against the wall-'
'Baku-chan,' the girl said almost like a mother that was amused with her child and was ready to explain to him something basic, but Katsuki had none of that shaking her hand a bit to truly make her listen, 'I mean it, Tsu!'
He hardened his gaze, 'I'm not good…fuck, I suck at feelings, and even if I have them toward you,' he said forcing himself to continue to look at her even if he couldn't help not narrowing his eyes like he was frowning, 'I suck at expressing or dealing with them, so I might say or do some hurtful bullshit. When I do that, fucking hurt me back.'
Tsu watched him for a while not completely on board with the idea. He could tell and understood it. Who would honestly? But finally, after a moment, the girl grand him a nod, 'How about this, kero? If you will hurt me, I will tell you-'
Katsuki opened his mouth to protest, but the fingers of Tsu's free hand pressed against his lips to stop the words from coming out all the while her dark as the night sky without stars eyes stayed on his, 'And if that doesn't get you to stop, or you will hurt me more, or anything other than an apology comes out of you, I will physically hurt you in a way I find fitting, agree?'
The ash-blond watched her for a while. He knew her well enough to know it was her cool and mature way to handle things, but she did agree to hurt him back which was essentially what he was asking for so finally Katsuki nodded causing the sea-green-haired girl to smile again, 'Good.'
Her fingers left his mouth allowing him to talk again realizing he wasn't sure what to say after all of this.
'Oi,' he said as he realized something now, 'when did you… like fucking start to like me or whatever?' he asked and pointed at himself. Now, he felt genuinely curious. Tsu wasn't the type to be irrational, and so it had to be something that happened before the fireworks. He could tell there were moments between them that were sort of dancing on the edge of friendly and flirty such that he hoped she didn't have with anyone else or he would kill them and her, but he wasn't sure when was it actually a done deal for her.
Katsuki watched as the girl put her index finger against her lower lip the way she usually did when she was in thoughts before she spoke, 'The second time you walked me, Semi-kun and Setsu-chan home. When you made me feel better about myself after Shigaraki Tomura grabbed my face.'
His red eyes blinked and then widened before he slammed his palms against the bed in front of her startling a bit her and himself, 'That-that was almost at the start of the school year. The fuck? Are you serious, Tsu?'
'Yes, but I thought it was just like a crush, kero,' confessed the Tsu calmly although her cheeks were slightly pinkish, 'You were nice to me that day. You went out of your way to walk me home and just made sure I was alright. I always thought of you as more than an angry teen with issues. Ever since that first ride on the train. You seemed like someone who had more to him than a loudmouth and angry persona. I guess you acting nice and with your personality…it's kind of silly maybe a bit pathetic, but it really got the teenage girl inside me. Back then when I got these thoughts I just assumed it was something like a normal response,' the sea-green-haired girl explained and then brushed a few pieces of her hair behind her ear and with a very tight and embarrassed voice, 'You are very handsome kero.'
Oh.
He blinked again this time a smirk appearing across his face as he felt the familiar smugness when he cockily asked, 'Handsome, huh?'
Tsu's dark eyes shot to his before they quickly looked away her cheeks now profoundly red and the color moving to occupy more of her face and below her neck, 'D-don't act like this is the first time someone told you this.'
'I don't remember if anyone did or fucking care if they did,' he said honestly before he added feeling a bit braver now that he was aware he wasn't the only one who was fucking being a hormonal teenager in this situation, 'But I like it that you think so.'
She looked at him again and nodded, 'After that, it sort of went from crush to friendship not sure myself which one it really was. But either way, I was glad we spend time together. Even if the crush would fade, I still wanted to be friends with you,' she said and giggled, 'The first time I thought it was something more than that was when you let me hug you after Kamino.'
'You could have said something,' said Katsuki rubbing the back of his neck. This was good. It was good to talk and to find out what Tsu was thinking and that she wasn't always so calm and collective about everything going on between them because he certainly wasn't.
'Don't act so cool, kero,' she complained and waved a hand in front of his face probably still embarrassed that he called her out like that, 'Like I said. I wanted us to be at least friends, and although we spend time, until the hug you didn't really act like we could be more than friends. Also, we were in a fight after the Midterm finals, remember? I didn't want to lose you again.'
He understood that. He wouldn't want to lose her either.
'I also understand that you have your priorities, kero. You want to be Number One Hero, and I want you to achieve that,' she said suddenly and put her hand against her chest, 'I'm alright with making whatever rating I can and helping people, but I know being the best is very important for you, and I respect that. I would never try to get in the way and for a while, after Kamino I didn't say anything because I was worried if I did it would force you to cut off our friendship. I know you don't like to do things that waste your time-'
'You're not a waste of time,' he cut her off before she could finish whatever she was planning to say next, 'You never were a waste of time,' he said firmly and genuinely keeping their eyes locked so she would know he meant it, 'Even when I walked you home, even that stupid first time when I just did it so you would fucking stop calling me that weak nickname-'
'Baku-chan,' said Tsu giggling now causing the ash-blond to fondly roll his eyes and try and fail to push down a grin, 'What you really did was take my mind off losing to Deku during the practice villains vs. heroes fights.' He could accept and admit it now. Even if she annoyed the hell out of him back then, he couldn't get her to stop and he was grateful that he did. He felt like a loser after what happened between him and Deku that day, and Tsu and her nickname did something no one ever managed before and got his mind out of it. Even if he was once again upset about it when he remembered, it wasn't as bad as it would have been if he sulked about it for those two extra hours.
'So, no matter how pathetic and weak I get and snap or shout at you for no reason, don't ever fucking think you're a waste of my or anyone's time,' he said firmly genuinely believing his own words which earned him a bright smile from the girl before her hand appeared over his on the bed, 'Thanks, Baku-chan.'
He nodded and waited until she let go and started to talk again, 'Anyway, even if there were signs it was always shifting back and forth. I thought you liked me back and then you were only being a good friend. Even if I was happy, you made some peace with Izuku-chan and Todoroki-chan and got the Bakusquad, it was even harder to tell what you thought since you acted friendlier with them too.'
'Bullshit!' he cut her off again, 'I let you nurse my wounds and cry on my favorite shirt. I would fucking blow up their asses if any of those losers tried that. Not to mention Kirishima was fucking jealous of you.'
Tsu blinked upon hearing that her index finger touched her lower lip causing him to mentally curse himself since he didn't really want to tell her that, but like hell, he was letting her talk like he was besties with the Nerd and Half and Half. He spent the whole damn day with them. He had his limits.
'He was?' asked Tsu, but didn't sound all that surprised, 'Hm, I guess in another life you two could make a good couple, kero.'
'Shut up,' he said and narrowed his eyes at her a bit mostly slightly irritated than genuinely upset.
She chuckled a bit and pulled her legs toward her chest causing his bed to move a bit, 'Still, I admit I was embarrassed and uncool about it,' she bit her lip suddenly which caused him to blink surprised since he never seen her do that before. It served him as a remaindered that not even twenty-four hours ago she let her lips press against his and even less than that she let those lips touch his cheek. Those realizations only cause Katsuki's body to warm up again.
'But it's hard to talk about such things if you don't know for sure. Being a hero is surprisingly less stressful than liking someone sometimes,' her dark eyes looked at him again, 'Besides you didn't tell me you liked me either.'
The ash-blond brushed the back of his neck bending his knee as he set his one of his legs on the bed and let the foot of the other one touch the ground under it.
'Yeah, well, I'm not as open to my feelings as you are. I didn't really know or was sure until I demanded you to come to the winter festival with me,' he confessed not even sure if that was true. There were moments, but he couldn't be certain until then. 'I wondered…I fucking thought you was pretty since the U.A villain attack, and you smiled at me for encouraging your sorry ass and telling you not to feel sorry for yourself. But I thought about you since the fucking train,' he said realizing there was no reason to hide it when both of them were now an item or whatever.
'Most of the girls…fuck all of the girls were annoying wusses in my school. I couldn't tell you any of their names or how they looked even if the end of the world depended on it,' he said and although she chuckled at both of that. It was true. He wasn't an idiot. He wasn't bad with faces. He just didn't care back then for anyone and anything that wasn't related to his goal of getting to U.A.
'You spoke your mind, weren't a complete idiot, and were the first person not to call me a victim or pitied me. I didn't remember extras in my life. What would be the point? You? I did since day one. I guess I first thought about liking you when you brought me chili cookies and we made peace. Fighting with you fucking sucked,' he confessed with a sigh feeling even now bothered by the time they spend apart all because his pathetic ass couldn't utter a fucking five letter sorry to her like a mature individual.
'Did you miss me?' asked Tsu teasing a bit based on the tone she used and the way she looked at him tilting her head.
He narrowed his eyes not liking that she did, 'You fucking missed me too.'
'I did,' she admitted like the fearless person she was making it really hard to believe she ever was worried about messing up their friendship with how bold she was now.
He frowned at her not as annoyed as he usually was mostly out of habit because he didn't like to be teased even by her cute face. Still, it was hard to even pretend to be properly annoyed when Tsu's hand reached for his and her fingers pushed through the spaces between his holding onto it but making sure she wouldn't directly touch his palm.
Clever Froggy.
It wasn't the worse feeling to have someone to touch like this and look at each other like this. If Katsuki was being honest with himself, which he seemed to have been at least if the last half an hour was anything to go by, it felt nice.
'Can I ask how will we proceed about everyone else?' asked Tsu calmly like it was just a thought that crossed her mind, and the ash-blond narrowed his eyes once again feeling a familiar feeling of frustration push its way through the warmth inside him, 'As I said, I don't fucking want anyone in my business. That includes my thing with you.'
'Thing, kero?' asked Tsu and raised her eyebrows causing him to groan, 'Relationship, dating whatever just don't call it anything sappy. I already feel like I'm in a shojo manga protagonist.'
That earned him a genuine laugh from the girl which he awarded with a smirk of his own because it was genuinely nice to hear her laugh like that even more so when he knew he was the one who got her that laughter out of her.
'Sorry, I just pictured you as such, it was rather funny,' Tsu said cheekily.
'Die,' Katsuki replied without any heat or anger still smirking almost smiling, 'Anyway, I think we don't have to tell people. Like we shouldn't hide it because that wouldn't make me feel very good,' she explained, and even if perhaps Katsuki would prefer they would, he wouldn't want to make Tsu feel uncomfortable or like she was his dirty secret or whatever. He respected her too much for that.
'How about we just carried on as we did until now? People can think whatever they want, and we don't owe them any public announcement or anything, kero.'
The ash-blond thought about it for a second and nodded. It seemed like a reasonable compromise, 'Sounds good. If someone asks, it's none of their business anyway.'
Tsu nodded, 'But you should know I am telling Ochako-chan and Habuko-chan.'
Katsuki rolled his eyes. He wasn't thrilled at the idea, but he sort of figured Tsu wouldn't lie to her best friends. Snakehead wasn't even in their school, so he wasn't worried about her spilling the beans, Cheeks might have been a problem since she would definitely tell Deku, but maybe the ash-blond could scare him enough not to run his mouth.
'Fine, tell your fucking extras,' he said. It wouldn't the worse. If nothing else, at least, Katsuki would have some audience to see just for much of the best boyfriend (seriously, he needed better term), he could be.
'Don't be mean, kero,' she warned him not really sounding like she genuinely meant it.
'Whatever.'
Tsu still smiled, 'You know I was very anxious about how this would turn out. But now I'm happy.'
Katsuki squeezed her fingers not feeling like he should hide his own joy, 'Yeah, me too.'
'Good, now how was your day? Did you impress Endeavor?' asked Tsu like she would any other time, and then carefully listen to how he bitched about his day like she would any other time. She was genuinely interested and let him vent occasionally cutting in to point something out in her observation. Nothing felt different. Nothing changed. In the next half hour, the last bits of Katsuki's worries from last night got shredded away. It wasn't any different from how they would talk with each other any other day. The only new thing was how his fingers were linked through hers still making sure his palms wouldn't touch her. It was new, and a bit weird. But not in the worse way.
It was nice.
As they needed to wrap it up to catch on homework and work things, Katsuki couldn't help, but think he wouldn't mind if it was always like this. In fact, the ash-blond would even like it.
Feeling a burst of confidence, he stopped Tsu by before she unlocked the door grabbing a hold of her face.
Their second kiss was a bit different than their first one. It was still new, short, and unexperienced nothing more than a press of one pair of lips against another sparking a sensation unlike any either of them ever felt inside their young hearts. However, their lips were warmer, and in an act of the moment, Katsuki made sure to kiss her slightly harder than last time as if he wished to imprint his lips against hers and hers against his so their touch would stay on them a bit longer. Even if he didn't think it was possible the spark that ran through him felt even more charged almost wanting him to do more even if he wasn't sure what before he leaned away to look down at her.
Her eyes blinked open a second later a smile formed against her lips again calming whatever doubts might appear that he didn't do anything wrong and assuring him that she liked his initiative as the haunting red color spread across her face again, 'I will text you later, Baku-chan.'
She unlocked the door, and he let her leave locking it again after her to make sure no one would come to bother him.
His heart was beating like crazy, but with a couple of deep breaths, he managed to calm the fucker down. Yes, it was new and weird. Yes, it was distracting. Yes, it probably would sooner or later clash against with his work, school, or goal. But as Katsuki could feel the phantom touch of Tsu's lips against his, he knew with unshakable certainty that led him this far in his life.
No, he was fucking not giving Tsu up.
The weeks following them establishing themselves as fucking-couple were relatively normal. Since they didn't really tell anyone, and everyone was back on their busy schedules no one seemed to be especially snoopy trying to catch them or anything.
Thank fuck
Katsuki was glad beyond his belief since he couldn't imagine on top of everything pulling a secret relationship while he was just figuring out how a normal one worked. He meant what he said, he wouldn't keep Tsu as a dirty secret, he just didn't want their co-depending classmates to butt in. So for now, this actually worked out rather nicely for the two of them.
Tsu, as per usual, was awesome. She never said anything was weird, and she never expected anything more than what they had and did since well she was Tsu and wouldn't be able to keep it inside her for long. They spend time together and for the most part, it seemed to be enough and pretty much the same as if they would just hang around like friends or whatever. Talking with her or texting felt like it usually did. Tsu wasn't especially mushy like some of the girls he knew and silently privately vomit about in his mouth, and he got over the tiny frog emojis she tossed in her text a long time ago, actually smirking or even smiling when she send them.
What-the-fucking-ever
Touches and kisses, however, those were still a bit new and tricky. They didn't really talk about it. What would they talk about anyway? It still seemed to happen. It felt natural when it did even if he was still embarrassed at times about how happy she looked or blushed. It was probably normal. He would rather die than to go on some shitty forum to check, but if Tsu was alright with it so was he.
The thing was usually such romantic or coupley stuff occurred based on a certain event. If she was leaving his room, they would kiss by his door, or he would lead her to her room and kiss her inside. Sometimes she would press herself against his side and he would take it as a cue he could pull his arm around her. It was different now that he knew he could because they were dati-together or whatever.
He would fucking die for sure if anyone caught them so for the time being doing it in the privacy was just fine. It was already a lot at times to know fucking Cheeks knew as she sometimes shot Tsu a sweet smile and him a dirty smirk. Bitch.
Not to mention she definitely told that idiot Deku, who now seemed to suspiciously often look between him and Tsu like he was expecting them to constantly be together and hold hands or some shit in public. Luckily, the Nerd didn't say a word either out of fear or respect. If only he could not fucking be so obvious Katsuki's life would be great.
Currently, they were sitting on his bed looking at a documentary on his laptop for their Hero History, her arm and side touching his as she pulled her knees up to hug them and press her chin against them while listening and occasionally writing down notes in her exercise book. It was really very causal, but Katsuki still found himself wondering about shit like if he could kiss just now out of the blue. It was a bit annoying really. She wasn't looking any differently now than she had today in class, but for some reason, he found her just fucking too damn cute and wanted to kiss her. Ridiculous. He went fifteen years without so much as a spare glance at the opposite sex and less than twelve months of knowing Tsu and he was a fucking hormonal mess. Maybe he was just a late bloomer, but really it was all Tsu's fault for being so damn irresistible and cute.
Stupid lovely and adorable Froggy
'You missed a year,' commented Tsu suddenly causing him to blink and realize she was fucking right.
'Am I distracting you?' she asked and tilted her head while looking at him the way she usually did, 'Should I leave?'
'No,' he barked not really thinking it through just knowing all too damn well, he would hate if she left, and even more so if she left thinking her presence was too damn distracting for him. It wasn't even like that. She herself wasn't distracting, well not more than usual, which he was mostly accustomed to. The romantic coupley shit was what was distracting.
'Talk to me, kero?'
He narrowed his eyes feeling embarrassment crept on him again, but before it would he snapped, 'Don't move. I'm going to kiss your stupid face.' There, he could satisfyingly die now because if he was embarrassed before, now he was fucking humiliated.
Her dark eyes blinked as she spoke, 'If my face is so stupid, why would you want to kiss it?'
What the fuck?
He couldn't believe she asked something so shitty and opened his mouth to tell her to forget it before he watched her chuckle her own cheeks pink, 'Grow a funny bone, Baku-chan.'
'Die,' he told her feeling even worse that she would tease him like that about something like that, and he turned his head back to the documentary. They would need to rewind it since they missed a whole bunch now.
When her hand appeared on his arm he paused, but he refused to look at her. He was too damn stubborn and proud.
Tsu let out a small sigh, 'Baku-chan?'
He wasn't going to look at her. If she could fucking make fun of him when he was trying then she could keep her lips to herself and her attention to the screen.
'Can I touch your hair?'
The fuck?
His red eyes blinked as he looked at her, and the grumpy frown got replaced with genuine confusion, 'My hair?'
'I like it,' the sea-green-haired girl confessed openly and looked up at it. Even if her eyes couldn't reveal any interest, he could tell there was a lot of it. Funny, he never noticed his hair could do shit for her, but then again, he didn't notice she was battling the same feelings he was for the past few months so what the fuck did he know?
'It's spiky but looks really soft. Kind of like you,' she explained throwing him a smile as a bonus.
Damn her stupidly cute face
The ash-blond gave her a look, but didn't really comment on that last sentence and rather thought about it for a second before he snatched her wrist and brought her hand toward his hair, 'Do as you like. It always goes back to this, so ruffle to your heart content or whatever.'
The sea-green-haired girl chuckled and carefully ran her fingers through his hair which he had to admit was a very interesting experience. He wouldn't say he liked it because it was still someone who wasn't him touching his hair, and that was never alright for a control freak, but he didn't mind all that much since it was Tsu, and she was being so gentle about it.
He didn't really get why she was so interested, but it made him feel somewhat proud that she thought he was handsome and liked his hair. He was really becoming a sap with these feelings toward her, wasn't he?
Her smile grew, 'It's very nice, Baku-chan. You're so lucky, kero.'
He waved her off as she returned her hand to her side looking at him now giving off a certain vibe that brought the familiar intensity he was almost used to by now.
Katsuki looked away and wet his lips, 'So what now?' They definitely missed a whole bunch of the documentary.
'If you ask me first, I doubt there is anything I would say no to,' she said, and although she couldn't have meant it like that his face turned hotter than ever as his eyes shot to her.
All too late, she must have realized what she said because the girl's face also turned red and her eyes widened making them even larger than usual, 'Uh…kero, n-not like that-'
'I got it,' he said all too quickly feeling like a fucking pathetic idiot once again.
The back of his palm brushed his mouth as he shifted his eyes to the documentary again not sure when did they more to All Might, but not really all that interested in the topic right now.
When he looked back at Tsu, she wasn't looking at him either and rather glancing at his sheets, her index finger circling a piece of her long hair around it over and over again squeezing and letting go.
At least it wasn't just him who was a novice at this shit.
He sighed a bit and calmed himself down, 'I want to kiss you,' he swallowed as he felt his throat go dry, 'may I?' It felt a bit silly to ask, but also somehow right to do so at least now. They kissed twice with no real question present just in the heat of the moment. Still, this was somehow different, wasn't it? She would fucking stay afterward. Unless he would do something drastic and horrible scaring her.
'Yes, you may, Baku-chan,' she told and looked up. She wasn't smiling, but maybe that was for the best since he couldn't really imagine how would it work if she was.
Unlike before, it wasn't as brief, Katsuki purposely drive it out and put more pressure into it desperately trying to reach that strange phantom sensation that the touch of their lips brought inside him. Did she feel it too? Was it different for her? It was hard to explain just that it was like a fucking secret, Katsuki was desperate to figure out because it seemed to be more captivating and thrilling than anything in the world. Whatever it was, the ash-blond wanted to grab it and hold it in the palm of his hand.
The hand that along with his other would suddenly find itself on Tsu's waists instinctively pulling her closer.
Better
It felt so much better to have her closer to be able to feel her chest and warmth against his.
There shouldn't have been, but there was a specific taste to Tsu, and it was just like her something incredibly fucking lovely. He kissed her deeper her face moving to the angle he tried to get her to without realizing it causing the whole thing to feel different.
He enjoyed it.
It was like their lips communicated in a way that he was familiar with even if they never really kissed like this before. It was like when he was sparing with someone. He couldn't just knock them out, there had to be some teamwork and a certain choreography.
Katsuki deepened the kiss feeling her lips parted and pushing his tongue further causing the stupidly wonderful sensation inside him to spread. It still wasn't close enough for him to reach and grab it, but it was close making him feel like he might just lose himself trying to get it and actually enjoy it.
Fuck
When he felt his heartbeat speed up almost to the point it could be heard, he broke the kiss, both of them breathing panting and Tsu's blush heading below the collar of her yellow shirt again. For a while, his eyes fixated on the path of her blush and where it disappeared like it was a secret of its own.
Then, however, the ash-blond looked up and to his absolute thrill and shock found something even more interesting and slightly alarming.
The fuck?
'Did I hurt you? Your mouth is fucking red,' he said cluelessly because was that like supposed to happen? Growing up with his followers he wasn't immune to the occasional porn video, but kissing wasn't their main event in those.
Tsu's eyes blinked and she let out a confused kero before she smiled somehow making her red from the kissing lips even more intriguing, 'So are yours. It's fine. I enjoyed it,' she said assuring him.
'Yeah,' he agreed somehow still fascinated by the redness of her lips and wondering if he could kiss her again.
When he looked up to meet her eyes, the sea-green haired girl didn't look like she was ready to be interested in the bullshit forgotten documentary just yet so he took it as a good sign to lean toward her again and move one palm from her waist up toward the back of her neck while Tsu threw her arms over his neck.
Definitely a fucking good sign.
'Do you hate it that I'm such an asshole?' Katsuki asked Tsu one evening after their work in the agencies when she came to work on her homework with him. True to their agreement, they tried to give all their time to school, their agencies, and getting better and stronger as heroes, the time they spent together was mostly the time they stole away from their friends. The ash-blond liked it a lot. It also helped that Tsu was far better company than most of the assholes who labeled themselves as his squad and dragged him everywhere. Although that might have been just his bias as he didn't ever plan to kiss those knuckleheads.
They were sitting on the floor in his room. He had his arms around her casually placing his palms on her thighs, so she was technically sitting in front of him pressing her back against his chest if she leaned too far. It was nice and strangely domestic sort of like whenever he came home and his parents were cuddling on the couch watching TV. Although this with Tsu made him feel good and fucking comfy not like he wanted to vomit.
It was bullshit really. He wasn't even sure why he asked. It happened during lunch. He caught some extras from general studies whispering about him dating someone as they stood in the line for lunch. He wasn't sure who told them or if they were just guessing, but he didn't really care, 'Oi, shut the hell up and move it, you're holding the line.'
It wasn't a lie. They were blocking the line since they formed some sort of group. The students gave him a look, and then he heard one bastard loud and clear mumble, 'No way, a poor thing like that would have to be forced to be with a jackass like him.'
It didn't necessarily hurtful, but it stung. He didn't really care what people thought of him. They thought he was bad news since before he hit puberty. Everyone always told him his quirk was amazing and something worthy of a hero, but his attitude was straight out villainous. They weren't completely wrong. He wasn't friendly or very likable. It caused him to wonder if it bothered Tsu. Occasionally she made comments like he should calm down or shut up, but there could have been more to it too. Just because she was the most open and honest person he knew, it didn't mean she wasn't a puzzle wrapped in a body of a girl who sometimes drove him crazy.
Now upon hearing his question, Tsu didn't say anything at first looking up at him with that observant look on her face. It was still expressionless, but he figured since she was always taking in her surroundings, it might as well have been an observant one.
After a moment of thinking true to her nature, she reached out and buried her fingers into his hair, something she apparently was very fond of before she pulled him toward her.
Kissing upside down wasn't easy and a bit strange, but not unwelcome. He responded quickly trying to mimic the moves he knew a bit better now finding pleasure in the new experience just as he would in any other.
'I like you the way you are,' said Tsu immediately after she broke the kiss to look at him still upside down making her smile seem like a sad one, 'You're a hothead and something of a jerk, but you're also more than that. You can be very kind and encouraging because of your attitude giving people something no one not even nice people like me can.' He wondered if she referred to the time, he encouraged her. 'You're changing for the better every day even if you don't think so. It's not a bad thing to grow and be a better version of yourself,' her hand moved away from his hair toward his cheek as she gently stroked it, 'And I for one, cannot wait for others to see that person I know you can be one day too, kero.'
He swallowed a bit because it felt like she gave him more than he thought he deserved.
Her eyes locked with his and her voice was as confident as ever, 'Don't ever doubt I want to be with you, Baku-chan. Promise?'
He watched her for a moment.
It was hard to watch her face at that moment as it looked so happy, light and shit. Tsu was exactly the type of good and warm person who looked like the absolute opposites to jerks like him, yet she still fucking wanted to be with him. She wasn't the only one. Over the years he drew in the likes of Deku and Kirishima. He couldn't get it. People like that should stay the hell away as if he was a rabid dog, not push themselves so close he found it impossible to push away.
Fuck, what did he do to deserve her?
He buried his face into her hair pushing her head a bit down again toward her lap, 'Finish your homework, so we can go to bed already, Froggy.'
Tsu giggled a bit but patted his head one more time like he really was a dog before she went to her homework again. Both of them knew that whenever Tsu said something that made him feel especially fond of her and like a sap, he needed to calm himself by using a different nickname than her favorite one. She didn't seem to mind as she saw glad, he told her what was bothering him.
She was so fucking weird about that always gently tugging on his strings to spill out his guts or just fucking calm down. If it didn't make him feel so embarrassed and good afterward, he would be annoyed with her for doing that. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to do so.