Chapter Text
It’s dark. Her footsteps are loud and echoey on the metal surface, the long strip one of the many cat walks that are the only thing keeping her from plummeting down into the abyss below. Far, far, far below.
Far in the back, there seems to be another space, more like a cave, a sturdier inlet than the catwalks that fanned out from the center pillar. There is light enough to make out some of the things inside it. A couch, a table, some lit candles, an old rocking horse from their home.
“What’s this…?”
A gasp to her right, and a whirled turn. Wide, pink-glowing eyes stare from a huddled, curled-up figure on the edge of another catwalk.
Plink. Plink. The sound reaches her ears from behind her, but she doesn’t register it. Or, she does, but all that happens is that her muscles tense. She doesn’t turn toward it, just stays where she’s sitting curled up into a fetal position on the edge of the catwalk, her hands around her knees, as she stares sightlessly into the darkness around and down down down below.
Mylo had been chatty this morning, and more so now ever since she’d set off Fishbones at the Piltover council room.
w̵̥̫̎̃a̷̠̕r̴̨̹͊,̵̟̓̂ ̸̺͙͊͘ẘ̴̜ä̴̭͔r̸̟̫͐,̸͓̀ ̵͓̦̓̆y̵̳͛ͅo̵̪͎̿u̵͇̓ ̸͖̍ŝ̷̩t̴͉̫̊̚ȁ̸̬r̵̼͛͠t̶̨̢̃͊e̵̯͚͂͌ḋ̸̩̩̐ ̴̖̿̓ǎ̴̟̥̎ ̷͚͝ẅ̴̭͙̈́ă̴͕̞̂r̶͍̖̍ ̸̮͎͋̿p̵͙̘͌̓e̵̙̰̽r̶͖̗̂̇f̵̨̩̈́ḙ̶̿ç̶̟͂͝t̸͈̓͑ ̷͉̍͝p̵͊͜͝e̶̠̱͂̓ŕ̴̲͔̿f̶̘̊e̵̖̠̕c̵̢͉̍t̷͕͂̓ ̴̦̽P̵̙͘Ĕ̶̩̋R̴̞F̶̬̈́E̶̖̪͋͒C̶̰̏͠T̴̩͛ ̶̤̠̇̂J̶̨̗̌I̵̹̜͑̈́Ṋ̷͔̽X̵̧͐
“Shut up!” she’d said. “It’s right. It’s the only thing that can happen. It’s supposed to happen.”
Fishbones hadn’t talked much, not really. Just laughed every so often, off and on, short cackles and giggles with that shark mouth of his.
But now they are quiet, leaving her alone in the dark.
Except for that plinking noise.
No one is there. It’s her mind playing tricks on her, or the structure shifting and settling. She knows it, she knows that, but she can’t stop her body from tensing instinctively, her back getting the start of an ache and her arms shifting just a bit closer around her knees. But she doesn’t move, just continues looking listlessly ahead into the dark, the barely-broken silence sitting heavy around her.
“What’s this?”
That voice is not Mylo or Fishbones.
Jinx gasps and whirls around – bracing one arm on the floor to keep her balance – in the direction of the voice.
It’s Vi.
There stands Vi, looking exactly as she did last time Jinx saw her two days ago, when she was tied up at the table. Less angry, though, less scared.
No way she’d be here.
v̴͐i̴̥͌̒ ̴̡̱̽͛V̴̞̦̈́į̷̬̒͘ ̴̢̾̊V̷̫̣̂I̴̳͒̆ ̴̧͔͒V̵̹̬̌I̷̯̭͛͛
She resettles on the floor and grips her arms tighter, the tips of her fingers pressing into her skin. “You’re not here.” Jinx looks away from the figure that is not Vi. “She wouldn’t come for – for Jinx.” She says it quietly, to herself.
Not without those gauntlets and that enforcer girl, or also with a bunch of enforcers to blow up, to take her away and kill her for blowing up the council.
But Jinx looks back, slowly turning her head, and Vi is still there. Vi-not-Vi isn’t looking at her. Jinx moves her gaze to where Vi is facing. She’s looking at the Mylo doll, tossed roughly on the couch after she’d taken both him and Claggor from the table, looking like he crashed there after getting wasted drunk, with a hole in his head from when she shot him. Even that hadn’t gotten him to shut up permanently. Claggor was also on the couch, tossed there and resting tucked next to Mylo. She’d tried to string him up again, like he’d been before, but her hands were shaking and she fumbled with the string, and so she finally threw him on the couch in a bout of frustration. Fine. He could sleep, if that’s what he wanted.
At least this not-Vi isn’t screaming at her. Isn’t here with Caitlyn-with-an-evil-smirk on her arm. She’s just…standing there. Looking at Mylo.
She doesn’t know why not-Vi is asking. The real Vi had seen it before.
But she answers anyway. Just on an impulse. Vi didn’t ask about it at the table. But then, Jinx hadn’t given her the chance to.
She’d ask about the bombs Jinx – Powder – was making, back then.
She misses it.
Jinx stands up and walks closer, stopping where the catwalk meets the landing in the center.
“I made him. To keep him close. I wanted to keep him close,” she tells not-Vi, her voice carrying now to the other catwalk.
She doesn’t know what she expects not-Vi to say in answer, if she’s answers at all. But she certainly doesn’t expect what she hears.
Not-Vi’s voice is soft when she speaks – thoughtful. She nods, and says, “Me, too.”
That startles Jinx.
She freezes in place, staring at not-Vi.
The images and voices in her head are never this kind. That’s not something a not-Vi would say.
She flicks her gaze away from her and toward Mylo as she speaks. “…Are you real?” Her voice sounds small, on the verge of crying, and she hates it hates it – but can’t really bring herself to care right now. She looks back at not-Vi, waiting to see how – if – she’ll respond. Or if the trick will break, and she’ll fade into the air.
The image of her sister turns to look at Jinx, her eyes full of sadness and concern. “Yes. Yes, I’m real. I’m really here.” Not-Vi Yes-Vi Vi? Vi!’s voice is still soft, but now emphatic. Just like it had been when she came and found her, after Jinx had lit the signal flare. Vi takes a hesitant few steps closer, and Jinx tenses, backing up half a step. She’s caught between wanting to come closer and her instincts and adrenaline pushing at her to run away.
V̴̞̽͛͑͜I̴̘̙͗̉̋̆ ̶̥͙͈͍͋̓͗V̵̟̪͎͑͂̒I̴̛̞̮ ̶̢͕͍̞̍V̶̞̄I̴̼̦̾̌ ̵̠͂͗̓V̴̠͐̾Ḭ̸͙̔͒͘ ̶̩̳̿̀̔̔V̷̹̘̫̯̂I̶̗̋͗̃ ̴͉̱̈̓V̷̩̗͒͛͊Ị̴͙̓̂́̊ ̴̹̘̯̦̈́̌͝V̸͖̘̇Ì̵̪͇̺ ̷̩͚̦̈́̓͝V̸̩̞͚̗̄ ̸͇̮̊̃V̷̝̹͂Ì̶̜̤̑̌̈́ ̴̦̪͌V̵̞̹̻̎͝Ỉ̵̙̮̮̰̅̕ ̴̘̫̠̰̈́͆V̷͓̹̜̎̒I̷͖̠͈͒͝ ̶̤͐V̸̘̀͐͝I̴͎̐̉ ̶̼̔V̸̲̘͕̓͛ͅI̶̫͍̥͝ ̵̜͗V̷̙̻̹͕͠I̶̬͘ ̴͓͚͇̺͌V̶̙̩͇̝̓Ḭ̴̡̙͈̏̈́ ̴̥̞͓͋̑͊V̷̨̯̬̞̺͈̜̫͓͍͐̃͒͗̈́͑̇̑̄̈̍̕͜͜͝I̴̛͚̬̹̝̭͂̋̔̌̿̑̎͌̆͠ͅ ̴̛̹̭̙̿̍̈̿͘͝V̸̛͇̩͇̦̤̇͂İ̶̯̳͎̝͝ͅV̵̨̡̧̗͓̳̺̻̦̳̮̮̹͖̖̣̜̬͚͇̙̱͇͍̘̮̑͑̐Ï̸̡̱̩͖̬͈̬̻͎̰̠͍̠̮̝̠̯͉̬͓̓͋̑̎͆̎͆̍͒͌̃̓̄̌̆̆̌̕͘͝͝͝ ̷̡̡̢̖͎͎͉͈͔͎̣̰͙̩̦̲̙͂V̴͕͚̪̹͈̜͇͙̘̲̅̍̓̾͝ͅI̸̺̙͌̀̄̈́̽̾̑̚͠͠ ̵̢͙̭̬̦̘͚̗͇͍̤̘̭͙͇̙͍̜̲̗̩̱̘̻̯̾͊͆̓͂̒̕͠͠
She looks away, a light shake of the head to drown out the screams. She turns back to face Vi, lightly gripping her hands up close to her chest, then slowly dropping them back to her sides, but still bent at the elbows, as if poised to run.
“Wh-….Why?”
“I told you, remember? I’m not going abandon you again,” Vi answers, shaking her head at the last sentence. She walks forward, slowly, cautiously, toward Jinx, like she’s approaching a wounded wild animal that she doesn’t want to startle with sudden movements.
Jinx turns her gaze away again, in the middle distance between the lit cave and the darkness. “You didn’t the first time,” she says quietly, her voice rough.
Apparently Vi still heard her, because she breathed what sounded like short, breathy sigh of relief.
A pause, neither of them talking or moving. Jinx’s posture settles, still tense, but her feet no longer poised to bolt, settling into a more comfortable stance. She grips right hand with her left, looking back toward the Mylo doll. Out of periphery, she can see Vi do the same.
“Want to know how I keep them close?” Vi asks, her voice still soft, hesitant and gentle. And Jinx feels, distantly, her own heart rate pick up, at the mention of the idea of speaking about them. But – she wasn’t expecting this, wasn’t expecting this at all – Vi here, lone, by herself, for her, just talking. So she just…goes along with it.
“Sure.” Jinx shrugs while turning back the way she came and going back down the catwalk. She hears the double plink plink of both her own footsteps and Vi following her. She sits down on the edge again, her knees to her chest.
For once, for now at least, Mylo is quiet.
(I don’t know how to reach out to you)
Vi half startles when pink eyes turn toward her from the shadows. So her sister is here.
But her eyes are blue. They’ve always been blue, even when she found Powder after her sister had lit the signal flare. After she had become “Jinx.” She vaguely now remembers her sister’s eyes being pink when they were all at the table the day before yesterday, but there had been so much going on, she couldn’t focus or process the change in the color of Powder’s eyes.
What happened?
Her sister stands up and walks closer, and it’s strange to Vi to see her so subdued after all that just took place. But none of that manic is there right now.
At least, at least, she believes that Vi had never meant to abandon her all those years ago, and excepts her answer of why she came.
Vi hesitates in asking. She speaks cautiously, not wanting to trigger again whatever breakdown Powder had at the table. She doesn’t know what to do, how to get through to her sister. But she’s going to try. She has to.
The quiet “Sure,” and listless shrug surprise her, but they’re also a relief. Powder walks back down the catwalk and sits on the edge, and Vi follows her, using what little light there is from the candles and artificial lights from the cave beside this catwalk to see the path in front of her.
She carefully sits down on the edge next to Powder, just a few inches away, and loops her arms around her knees.
Jinx doesn’t look up as Vi talks, staring in the space between the loop of her own arms.
“When I miss them, and want to feel close to them,” Vi starts, her voice low and calm, “I think of how we were all a family. About how much I loved them. I think of how no one could ever beat you at the shooting game.” Vi carefully avoids saying Mylo’s name, watching for any sign of a breakdown. But Powder just stares down into her knees. So, Vi continues, switching between glancing at Powder, gauging her reactions, and looking out ahead into the darkness. “How…how Claggor was always a big brother to all the younger kids.” Powder doesn’t move except to glance at Vi, and curl her fingers tighter around her knees. Vi hurries with her next sentence, keeping her tone warm and soft,
“And, when I feel weak, or scared,” her mind goes back to the fight against Sevika, when she first got out of prison, set on finding her sister, “I think of Vander, and what he taught me. It’s like they’re still there, watching over me. And it makes me feel stronger.”
Powder’s breath hitches, and Vi stops, immediately fixing her eyes on her sister.
Jinx’s eyes are glued to the space between her knees, not looking up at Vi, as if that will keep the tears she feels coming at bay. Her arms shake, and she holds back a sob.
It doesn’t hold for long.
“I see them.” Her voice cracks, and her arms tighten around her knees. “They’re in my head. Screaming, always screaming. Haunting me,” she pulls her arms from her knees and presses her fists to her either side of her head, “Mocking me. H-how – ,” Jinx sobs, “I killed them. It was my fault, MY FAULT –”
Y̵̤̥͊̾̾o̷͖̖͐͝u̸͇̙̠͑͜'̸̮͔̹̰̌́̑r̴̡̛̤̯̺̄̑ḛ̵͑ ̶̞͛̎̊f̷̢͚̦͛͝a̴̬̲̝͋͂̓ư̵̩͋̏l̸̲͖͑̓̕t̵̤̞̼͈͛͝
She’s crying in earnest now, tears streaming down her cheeks, her voice cracking and catching on sobs. No-no-no-no-no-it was a mistake-it was a-
__
Oh.
Oh.
Oh no.
Now she understands. That’s why Powder had the breakdown at the table, when she was calling her family’s names. Those names and people gave Vi strength, but to her sister, they did the opposite – to her, they were only ghosts of guilt and trauma.
__
“I was trying to save them – I was trying to help – I just wanted to help I’m sorry I’m sorry” Jinx curls her fingers into her hair, the hard grip pulling at the roots, and squeezes her eyes shut, “I’m sorry I’m sorry –It’s all my fault – all my fault – I’m sorry – I – I’m sorry –”
“I forgive you.”
Y̴̛̭̳̰̹̺̊̿́̃̿ö̷͓̱͉̏ǘ̴̖̲͙̱͉͓͋̂͌ͅ'̵̟̆͋̊̆r̸͈̝̯̪̿̚͜e̸̳̽͋͆̊͆͑̈́ ̶̗̉̈̈́̈́̚͠f̸̼̳͍̭̘̩̼̑͂̍͌̄̉̾̈͠ –
.
. ….
“What?”
Jinx sniffles, the voices ending as abruptly as they’d come. Eyes wide, she raises her head, uncurling slightly. But when she faces Vi, she doesn’t see any anger. She just…holds Jinx’s gaze, her gray eyes wet.
“I forgive you.”
For a moment, Jinx can only stare. Her voice cracks, breathy and small.
“…Are you real?”
The shattered remnants of Vi’s heart break into even smaller pieces. She reaches out and gently holds Jinx’s cheek, wiping away a tear with her thumb. “Yes. Yes, I’m real. I’m real. I’m really here, I promise.”
With a gasp heaving into a sob, Jinx launches across the space between them and throws her arms around Vi.
After only a split-second of flinching involuntary at the sudden impact, Vi immediately wraps her arms around her little sister.
“H…how?”
Vi’s not sure what Powder is asking about, so she answers both possibilities to the question. “I wanted to find you. I needed to see how you were. You’re my sister. I love you, and I forgive you.”
Jinx buries her head in her sister’s shoulder as the tears keep coming, wetting the jacket underneath. Her view is just Vi, blocking out the dark.
Vi rests her head against Jinx’s and rubs one hand on her back, her palm warm against Jinx’s cold skin.
“I forgive you,” she says again, and Vi will say it as many times as it takes, until her sister believes it, “And I’m sure that Mylo and Vander and Claggor forgive you.”
Jinx scoffs, a huff of a sound, and shakes her head. That doesn’t make sense. “How?” Her voice is a wet croak.
“Because they loved you. Mylo was a jerk, I know. He was a kid who had the wrong focus and didn’t know how to treat people right, sometimes. But he still cared. I know he did. And Claggor did, too.”
Jinx just sobs against Vi’s shoulder.
Vi continues. “And you know the last thing Vander said to me?” Jinx gives her head a minute shake. “He told me to look after you. He loved you so much, Pow-Pow. They all did. I love you, and I forgive you. So I know they must forgive you, too.” A short pause. “And maybe, you should forgive yourself, too.”
Jinx just shakes her head at the last sentence, a quick short, series across the material of her sister’s jacket. Still, Jinx replays Vi’s previous words in her mind.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I know they must forgive you, too.
But….
Jinx shakes her head against Vi’s shoulder, trembling, pulling her arms from around her sister and closer to herself, turning her head to look downwards. “You – you only love Powder. Not me now – not Jinx. You – don’t love Jinx. Not like you used to.”
Vi squeezes her little sister more tightly, before loosening her arms, still wrapped around her. “I love you,” she insists, her quiet voice emphatic. She shifts her gaze downward to catch Powder’s eyes. “It doesn’t matter how you are now, or what you call yourself. I’m sorry I made it seem that way. I was – I was scared, I just wanted to calm you down, to, to snap you out of whatever was making you not think clearly – but, I didn’t know how, and I only made it worse. I’m so sorry.”
Powder’s breathing hitches, a smaller sob. She looks away, then back to Vi.
“But I do love you. You. No matter what. I meant what I said before. You’re my sister, and nothing is ever going to change that.”
Powder’s trembling harder now. She shakes her head, but there’s less conviction in it. Like she’s trying to figure this out. “You keep calling me Powder.”
Vi’s grip on her sister tightens again, and she closes her eyes as she feels the pang of guilt, before opening them. “Because calling you a jinx was the worst mistake of my life.” It’s what did this to you. “And hearing you call yourself that –” Vi’s breath hitches in her chest, and she feels tears fill and spill from her own eyes “– keeps reminding me how much I hurt you. I just – I can’t…I can’t bring myself to call you that.”
And Jinx is too tired to explain that it wasn’t a mistake, it was true, she is a jinx – was then – Vi was right.
So all she says is, “It’s who I am now,” her voice still cracking from crying.
It’s a soft, resigned statement of fact.
Vi just sighs, and rests her forehead on her sister’s. “And I love you.” She doesn’t know what else to say, how to tell Powder that she doesn’t have to see herself as a jinx. But Vi is crying herself now, and she doesn’t know how to dig into it deeper now without breaking this closeness, without ruining this progress, that seems oh so fragile now.
And I love you.
At hearing that, Jinx feels her heart pound in her chest, a shock of heated adrenaline, and all she does is turn her face back against her big sister’s shoulder and wrap her arms around her again.
“You forgive me?”
“Yes. I forgive, you, and I love you. And I know our family does, too.”
“You promise?”
She came. When you lit the flare, she came and found you, just like she promised.
“Yes,” Vi says. “I promise.”
Vi just holds her, her arms wrapped around her crying sister, also crying herself, just quieter.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
And I know our family does, too.
The words stay in Jinx’s head. She understands them, but she doesn’t. She’s been haunted by the guilt, their voices, their ghosts, ever since that night, ever since her mistake.
But now…
If they forgive her…
Maybe she doesn’t have to be.
But for now, she just holds on tightly to the real, stable warmth of her sister, and lets herself cry.
Eventually, Vi will have to tell Powder about what happened with the bomb and the council. Eventually, she’ll have to ask her about her pink glowing eyes. Later, she’ll ask her if she’s eating enough, if she has a warmer place to sleep.
For now, though, Vi just interrupts their hug to take off her jacket and wrap it around Powder. For now, she’ll just stay here in the darkness, sitting on the edge of the catwalk, holding her little sister. Until both their crying fades.
There will be more to do. More to talk about. It’s not a complete fix.
But it’s a start, Vi thinks.
It’s a start.
(After credits scene)
“Is this going to be your life now? Cleaning up your sister’s messes?”
Caitlyn stands with her arms crossed, wearing her everyday clothes. Vi sits on the floor, on Caitlyn’s yellow and white floral-patterned rug, one leg lying flat, an arm resting on her other knee.
For the time being, while still dealing with the council, Vi was staying with Caitlyn in her and her parents’ house.
Miraculously, no one had died from the rocket. There had been some magical shield, apparently, that one or more of the council members had, that had spared them from getting the worst of the blast.
Still, there had been injuries, ranging from minor to severe. A few burns, a pair of broken ribs – Jayce –, minor puncture wounds that were shallow and didn’t hit anything vital – Caitlyn’s mother, and a few others –, and many, many bruises, as well as smoke inhalation. Not to mention injuries – also nonpermanent or life threatening – sustained by the building’s staff.
Once they had gotten over the shock of watching the rocket streak across the sky and the explosion, both Caitlyn and Vi sprinted to the flaming council building – Vi had trouble keeping up with Caitlyn, despite her needing help to stand not a minute before. Once they got there, barely sparing a moment to stare at the half-destroyed building, they shouldered past enforcers shouting for them to stop and stay back, past the firefighters and their water hoses, and into the blaze, where rescue team members were already working to find and get survivors to safety. Caitlyn herself, along with Vi’s help, got her mother out and away from the wreck. And Vi had helped a rescue team member walk out Councilor Medarda, as well as other people in the building. Caitlyn, for her part, stayed glued to her mother.
The day after, once the councilmembers’ injuries had been seen to and they had been cleared to not need further hospitalization, they called a meeting to decide what to do about the attack that had clearly been from the Zaun side – and Vi rushed to do damage control.
Vi’s only comfort was that Cait was holding her hand the entire time she addressed the council.
Silco was dead, Vi emphatically assured them, and Jinx was acting alone – a claim that Caitlyn backed up as a witness. With their leader gone and the shimmer factories no longer functioning, neither shimmer nor Silco’s lackeys would be a problem for Piltover. No one else wanted to attack Piltover. Zaun would have its own problems to deal with now, with the power vacuum Silco had left. She would deal with Jinx, and make sure nothing like this would happen again.
Vi didn’t expect them to listen to more than half her words, if that. She definitely didn’t expect Councilor Medarda to tell her and Caitlyn that the council had voted unanimously for peace, right before the rocket had hit. Vi squeezed Caitlyn’s hand both to ground herself and make sure this was real, and to keep herself from falling down in shock.
Are you certain, Councilor Medarda asked her, that you can control Jinx?
No, Vi was not certain. Not certain at all.
Yes, she answered.
The Council agreed, then, to keep the vote for the decision for peace. To hold off on any attacks on Zaun unless future situations deemed it absolutely necessary, and continue as planned.
Vi could barely keep herself together as she sighed out her thank you. Caitlyn’s hand must have been losing circulation with how tightly Vi was gripping it, but if it hurt or had caused any bruises, Caitlyn never complained. She only repeated her own thank you to the council.
Now, Vi barely processes Caitlyn’s questions before answering.
“Someone has to look out for her. And no one else is going to.” She waves her hand sideways through the air, palm upward, to indicate ‘no one.’
Caitlyn sighs, her whole body moving with the action. Her eyes roam the room as she speaks, before settling back on Vi. “I know. I’m just – worried. That you’ll be caught up in whatever trouble she causes. What about your own life?”
“For the longest time, she was my life. And I was hers. She’s my sister. We’re family. I’m not leaving her, Cait. She doesn’t have anyone else. This is my fault, and – and I promised her I wouldn’t abandon her again.” Vi turns her gaze to straight ahead in front of her, into the middle distance. “She needs help.”
“Yes, but – what if she ends up needing more help than you’re able to give her?”
Vi looks back at Cait. “I’ll cross that bridge if it comes to it.”
Caitlyn looks down, contemplative, then nods, slowly. “Alright. Then I’ll help you.” She uncrosses her arms and lowers them to her sides. “In whatever way I can.”
Vi’s gaze grows intense, half-disbelieving.
Caitlyn nods, reaffirming. “She means a lot to you. You care about her. So, I will, too.”
Vi lets out a short sigh. “Thank you, Cait.”
Caitlyn nods and gives a small smile. “Let’s see what we can do.”