Work Text:
‘I can’t do this,’ Tim’s voice was muffled by his hands covering his face, ‘I can’t handle it.’
Conner rubbed his back soothingly. ‘I’m trying not to take that personally.’
Tim groaned. ‘It’s not you. You know it’s not you.’ Tim reached behind him and took Conner’s hand in his own. He turned to look up at him.
‘Let’s elope,’ he said, a little desperation leaking into his voice, ‘we could be on our way to Thailand by the end of the day.’
‘Actually,’ Conner’s eyes flickered toward the people gathered at the dining table, ‘I think we’re going to Greece now,’ amusement trembled beneath the words.
Tim clasped Kon’s hand in both of his. He brought it to his lips and pressed persuasive little kisses to each of his knuckles. ‘I don’t care. I can’t take this anymore.’
He risked a glance at the table. Everyone was talking over one another, pointing, and shouting things. Damian and Jon flipped through recipe books. Cass added songs to a playlist. Steph made a list of guests and Jason crossed them off as she went. Bruce, Ma, Lois, Alfred- They were all doing something.
Tim watched as Dick pulled out a stack of magazines from his bag and placed them in the center of the table with a loud thud. He could see the wedding dresses on the covers from the other side of the room.
‘I think that’d kill them,’ Conner’s voice brushed Tim’s ear and he shivered. He leaned back and turned so that their noses were touching.
‘Good thing we’ll be in Greece,’ Tim murmured.
‘Tempting,’ Conner pressed a kiss to his lips but it morphed quickly into a grin, ‘smile.’
‘Huh?’
He turned just in time for a camera to flash, capturing a picture of his red, squinting face. He had hair like a bird's nest and a frown to rival Batman.
‘What the fuck?’ he said eloquently.
‘Someone’s gotta document this joyful occasion for the wedding album,’ Steph said.
Joyful. Joyful.
‘Thanks, Steph. You’re a peach,’ he said flatly.
She blew him a kiss before returning to the table. Conner chuckled into his hair.
‘C’mon, man. It’s not too bad-’ he pressed gentle kisses to Tim’s neck ‘-look at how much fun they’re having.’
Tim leaned back into Conner’s touch with a sigh.
‘I’m not wearing a dress,’ he warned.
Conner laughed into his shoulder. ‘Of course not.’
‘Chicken foo yung, vegetarian spring rolls, and Singapore fried rice with the prawns,’ Kon said as he entered the… empty apartment.
‘Tim?’ He put the takeout on the table and walked toward the sound of muttering.
‘...if Kara’s gonna be out of town until the night before then…’ Tim paced back and forth across the room. His eyes were red and his hair was messy like he’d run his hands through it a thousand times.
Kon leaned against the doorframe and folded his arms.
‘Excuse me, I’m looking for my boyfriend. He looks like you but a little less cuckoo. Any ideas?’
Tim’s mouth kept moving even as he came to a stop. His lips wobbled and he looked up at Kon with comically wide eyes.
‘There’s not enough cars.’
Conner slapped a hand over his mouth as he spluttered a laugh. Tim didn’t look impressed.
‘This is your fault,’ he snapped. ‘Your lame family and their lame traditions.’
‘Hey, I like the night before gifts thing.’
‘Not that one,’ Tim glowered at him. Kon ignored it and pushed away from the doorframe. He wrapped his arms around Tim. He struggled like an unhappy cat.
‘Which one? The rice? The washing? The color green?’
Tim shuddered a sigh and muttered something unintelligible, even with super hearing.
‘Sorry, I don’t speak mumble.’
‘There’s not enough cars for everyone to get there,’ Kon felt Tim’s eyebrows scrunch against his shirt. He thought about the full garage downstairs.
‘You know that’s got an easy fix right?’
Tim’s muscles untensed and he inhaled deeply. ‘Chinese from midtown?’
‘Got it in one,’ Kon grinned and pulled him into the kitchen where he slumped onto one of the chairs. Kon started unloading takeout containers.
‘Fearless courage is the foundation of victory.’
Kon looked up as Tim put half of the fortune cookie in his mouth. His lips broke into a grin so wide that his eyes crinkled.
‘I can’t believe a fortune cookie just told me to suck it up.’
Kon smiled and moved behind Tim to wrap an arm around his chest. He reached for the slip of paper but Tim moved it away.
‘What gives?’
Tim shrugged and ran a finger over the lucky numbers. ‘I thought we could put it in the wedding album.’
Kon smiled into Tim’s hair. He cast his mind back to the earlier conversation and frowned. ‘I want a red Ferrari. Only if it would help, obviously.’
Tim snickered.
‘Actually, I changed my mind. This is their fault.’
‘Yeah, Tim. Gotham legalized gay marriage to spite you.’
Tim swerved in and out of traffic so quickly that Bruce would probably clutch at the handle for the sake of his own safety.
Conner did it to be an asshole.
Tim glanced over at him and sighed, ‘it’ll only take a few hours and then you won’t have to put it on again until the wedding.’
Conner made a face and rested his cheek against the window dramatically. It made a small squeaking sound.
‘It’s not uncomfortable is it?’ Tim asked as he swerved a woman in a red Volvo. The last thing he wanted was for Conner to spend the wedding in an uncomfortable suit.
‘No,’ Conner paused and then made a frustrated sound. ‘I don’t understand why you can’t come in with me.’
‘It’s tradition, Conner.’ Tim tried not to sound patronizing but they’d had this exact conversation upward of six times.
Conner pouted. ‘I don’t care about tradition.’
The whiny tone of his voice made Tim smirk but it morphed into an annoyed frown as some guy on a motorbike pulled out in front of him and he had to brake.
‘Seriously? Learn to drive,’ he shook his hair out of his eyes and pressed his accelerator to the floor. He didn’t even look at Conner as he continued, ‘well I do. People died so that we could marry and we’re-’
‘-and we’re going to do it properly,’ Conner mocked in a voice that sounded nothing like Tim’s.
Tim leveled him with a stare. ‘If you knew what I was gonna say, why did you ask?’
Conner sighed so long-sufferingly that Tim rolled his eyes. Conner just shot him a dirty look as his whole body melted miserably into the chair.
The navigation announced that they were almost at the store and Conner sighed a few more times, each one deeper than the last. Tim shot him a couple of glances before shaking his head.
‘Look, if you go in there and behave, I’ll make it worth your time,’ Tim pulled up in front of the store and turned to look at him, ‘deal?’
Face brightening, Conner lurched forward and fumbled around in the various compartments of the car. Tim’s eyebrows furrowed.
‘What’re you doing?’
‘I want it in writing-’ Conner pulled out a pack of post-it notes from god-knows-where and a pen, reading out loud as he wrote ‘-If Kon-El gets through this boring suit fitting, I, Timothy Drake-Wayne-Kent, agree to sit on his face.’
Tim smothered a laugh and Conner insistently shoved the pen into his hand.
‘I’m not taking your name,’ Tim said with a smile as he signed his name on the wobbly line.
Conner ignored him and lifted the paper up to the sun like it was a banknote. He let out a low whistle.
‘This one’s going in the wedding album.’
Tim put his neatly folded swan next to the other creatures he’d folded out of napkins. They probably wouldn’t meet Damian’s standards but Tim was pretty pleased with them. Conner wasn’t having the same success rate.
‘Fuck!’ he yelled as the napkin collapsed, ‘who uses silk napkins?’
Tim snickered as he folded a perfect rose. ‘They’re not silk, Kon.’
‘Sorry. I forgot you were born better.’
Humming disapprovingly, Tim pushed the rose over to Conner as a peace offering. Conner’s eyebrows scrunched up and his nose wrinkled cutely as he glowered. All Tim could think about was Ma’s voice saying, he’s only so upset because he cares. He pulled out his phone.
Conner's gaze snapped up. ‘Did you just take a photo of me?’
Tim shrugged, ‘I can’t be the only one breaking down in the wedding album.’
Conner blinked at him. ‘I’m not breaking down,’ he said incredulously.
Tim snorted and relaxed back in his seat.
‘Sure,’ his eyes roamed Conner’s messily folded napkins in amusement. He pulled at one. ‘Is this supposed to be a frog?’
‘It’s a bunny,’ Conner’s voice came out stiff.
Tim laughed, ‘have you ever seen a bunny?’
‘I lived on a farm.’
‘Okaaay, Lennie-’
‘Well, if you think it’s so funny maybe you shouldn’t get married at all,’ Conner snapped before his voice morphed into a grumble, ‘you can just stay here and fold your napkins instead.’
Tim leaned back. He looked at Conner’s hunched shoulders and sighed. ‘Woah, Kon. You really gonna break up with me over some fabric?’
Conner’s face screwed up. ‘What? No. Of course not,’ he wrinkled his nose and let out a long stream of breath. ‘I think I need a break.’
‘Yeah?’ Tim breathed a laugh. He set a hand, palm up, on the table beside the rose. Conner gave it one look, rolled his eyes, and pulled Tim into a hug.
‘M sorry,’ Conner murmured once he’d fit his head beneath Tim’s chin, ‘I don’t really want you to stay here and fold napkins.’
‘No?’ Tim chuckled.
Conner shook his head. ‘Please don’t leave me at the altar.’
Tim burst into surprised laughter. ‘Are you seriously worried about that? How are you real?’ His voice turned fond as he twirled the hair at Conner’s nape around his finger.
He looked over the array of practice napkins on their coffee table with a smirk.
‘Hire someone?’ he asked.
Conner made a frustrated noise. ‘Why hire someone? Won’t the bastard do it for free? He owes us a wedding gift…’ Tim smiled, happy to let Conner grumble into his neck about Damian until his heart’s content.
‘What about Hawaii?’ Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and resisted the urge to tell the kid to stop swinging on the dining room chair.
Kon whistled. ‘I’d love to take Tim to Hawaii…’
‘But?’
‘Let’s just say we might not get a warm welcome.’
Bruce sighed and crossed it off the list.
‘Rio De Janeiro?’
‘Too hot.’
‘Iceland?’
‘Too cold.’
‘Iceland’s not…’ Bruce shook his head, ‘Amsterdam?’
Kon wrinkled his nose. ‘Teenagers.’
Bruce raised his head to look at the ceiling and thanked the Gods for his patience. The kid was invulnerable. It wasn’t like he’d feel a good sock in the jaw. Bruce unclenched his fist and took several shallow breaths.
‘The Bahamas?’
Kon hummed. ‘Prettty sure that’s where Tim’s mom was headin’ before she died. What kind of honeymoon do you want us to have?’
Bruce clicked his tongue. That was unfortunately true.
‘Touché,’ he begrudged. ‘Lake Geneva?’
‘Too wet.’
‘Lyon.’
‘Too… French.’
‘Fiji.’
Kon tilted his head. ‘Like the water?’
Bruce’s eyes fluttered shut. ‘Tim!’
Kon grumbled something that Bruce didn’t bother to listen to. He rubbed his temples with his fingertips.
‘Where do you want to go?’ he asked when Tim appeared in the doorway.
Tim shrugged, walking over and putting his hands on Kon’s shoulders. ‘I told you I don’t care. You’re paying, right? So it’s up to Conner.’
The kid shot him a smug smile and Bruce made an exasperated noise.
‘Babe, what do you think of Tokyo?’
Tim’s arms tightened a fraction around his shoulders at the term of endearment. Despite Bruce’s frustration, he couldn’t really be mad at Conner when he looked at his son with something akin to reverence. After all, it was their happiness that mattered.
‘Well,’ Tim said, ‘it depends whether you want to go somewhere-’
‘You decide,’ Bruce interrupted him, tossing the paper and pen onto the center of the table, ‘and let me know.’
He gave each of them a look and left the room. Stephanie and Jason stared at him from the doorway. He sighed at the sight of Steph’s phone camera. Their happiness, he mouthed as he left the room.
‘This is going in the album,’ Steph said, behind him.
‘The album?’ Jason repeated, ‘this is going everywhere. Look at him! He’s purple.’
Tim attached all the photos he and Conner had taken so far to an email. He turned to look at Conner on the other end of the couch. He was nodding off, head tilting forward, eyes half-lidded.
‘I love you,’ Tim said.
‘I love you too.’
Conner yawned and Tim pressed send.
‘You look sexy with your sleeves rolled up like that.’
Tim hummed and smoothed down his collar. ‘Really?’
‘Yeah.’
Tim turned to look at him, propped up on his elbows on the bed as he watched Tim get ready. He raised an eyebrow.
‘Do you want me to unroll them?’
‘Maybe.’
Tim’s lips twitched as he slipped on his watch. A less expensive Breitling with a navy strap, just in case.
‘Didn’t you know, Gotham’s the romantic hub of New Jersey? Plenty of hot single guys looking for love. C'est le nouveau Paris.’ Tim reached for his jacket and sent the stuff on the dresser tumbling to the floor.
‘I’ve got it!’ Conner said, just as Tim bent down, coincidentally positioning him behind Tim, hips pressed against his ass. Tim rolled his eyes and picked up the bag of craft supplies.
‘You need to drop these off at Steph’s while I’m gone. She’s putting together the pre-wedding album tomorrow.’
Conner put his hands on Tim’s hips and peered into the bag. ‘Since when was a wedding album a third-grade solar system model? Wait… Why do we need a pre-wedding album?’
‘Maybe you can help her? You’re almost as competent as most third graders.’ Tim worked around Conner to put on cologne and a jacket.
‘Do you have to go?’
‘It’s called a bachelor party, Kon? What do you think?’
‘I think you should roll up your sleeves and talk French to me.’
Tim gave him an amused look and twisted out of his grip. ‘Tu penses avec la mauvaise tête, mon amour.’
Conner’s eyebrows furrowed. ‘The way you’re lacing your shoes tells me that’s not French for I'm staying.’
Tim smirked and opened the door, blowing a kiss over his shoulder. ‘Au revoir.’
Tim smoothed the plush velvet cushions on the restaurant seats. Conner tapped his fingers impatiently on the table, leg bouncing.
‘Excited?’ Tim asked with a small smile.
‘Hell yeah. This is the best part.’ He craned his neck to get a glimpse of the kitchen.
‘I thought you wanted Ma to cook the food?’
‘Well… You were right. She can’t cook for hundreds of people and attend the wedding.’
Tim raised an eyebrow. ‘I was right?’
‘Don’t get used to it.’
Tim scoffed and placed his hand on Conner’s knee. Conner narrowed his eyes.
‘Don’t distract me.’
‘I’m not,’ Tim said innocently. He leaned forward so that his head settled between Conner’s neck and shoulder.
‘Tim,’ he whined.
‘What? I’m just trying to make the most of the alone time with my boyfriend.’
Conner’s hand came up to run through Tim’s hair absently. ‘It has been a while, hasn’t it?’
‘Eleven days,’ Tim pressed his nose into Conner’s neck.
‘Man, I’ve missed you.’
‘Yeah? How are you gonna prove it?’
Conner hummed, fingertip tracing Tim’s spine in a way that made him shiver. ‘I’m gonna take you home and I’m gonna buy some whipped cream, the nice stuff with the little black bits-’ Tim fought the urge to roll his eyes at Kon’s obvious preoccupation ‘-and then…’
‘And then?’ Tim urged.
Conner moved abruptly and Tim caught himself before he face-planted the green upholstery.
‘They’re bringing out the food!’
Tim rolled his eyes. A dozen or so plates were put on the table
‘Here’s a copy of the taster menu, Mr. Drake-Wayne. Have you decided on what you’d like to consider for dessert?’ The chef handed him a small booklet while Conner eagerly looked over the plates. Tim put it safely out of spillage range, it was probably going to end up in the wedding album.
‘Thank you,’ Tim smiled charmingly, ‘I believe we were going to try the selection of cheeses, the passion fruit panna cotta, and my husband-’ Conner’s gaze snapped up to meet his and Tim’s lips twitched ‘-would like to try the black forest tart, thank you.’
‘Say it again.’
Tim feigned ignorance, scrambling for purchase against the wall, as he was shoved up against it again and again. ‘What do you want me to say?’
‘You know,’ Conner moved faster and Tim groaned.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ll have to… have to ask my husband.’
Conner groaned.
‘You’re gonna be my husband,’ Tim panted, spurred on by the way Conner moved more frantically with every word, ‘we’re gonna be married. I’ll introduce you as my husband in public. You… You’ll be able to tell that girl at the coffee shop you’re a married man-’ That thought in particular made Tim see stars ‘-We’ll wear rings. You’ll - Kon, fuck - you’ll be referred to as my husband on my emergency contact form.’
Conner choked on a moan. ‘Oh God.’
‘I thought you were gonna buy whipped cream?’
‘I thought you had common decency.’
‘…Touché.’
Tim stared at Kon without saying anything and Kon preened a little at being able to leave the great Tim Drake-Wayne speechless. The triumphant wiggle made his bruised eye pulse.
Tim sighed deeply and walked over to the fridge.
‘Thank God we still have weeks until the wedding.’
Kon’s jaw dropped at the total lack of sympathy. ‘Are you being serious?
‘Traditionally the bachelor party is the night before the big day but I’m glad we decided to bend some traditions-’ Tim shot him a look before he could even snicker anything about bending a lot more than tradition ‘-because I wouldn’t marry you if you turned up with a black eye.’
Kon spluttered. ‘You wouldn’t? You? Hypocrite.’
Tim shrugged and licked the lid of his pre-made smoothie. ‘If you wanted me to baby you, Conner, you wouldn’t have taken a thousand proud photos.’
Tim waved his phone, vibrating with messages from Dick no doubt. Kon groaned. He didn’t even remember that (he did remember poking it a few times to prove it hurt).
Tim kissed his temple as he padded away. ‘Call me when you’ve got bruised ribs. Then I’ll baby you. Promise.’
The gentle patter of the shower drifted into Kon’s ears as he washed a baking tray in the kitchen. Kon looked around for a towel.
‘Tim! Where are all the towels?’
Tim didn’t respond. Kon dripped bubbles onto the carpet as he checked to see whether they had any spares in the laundry cabinet. The doorbell buzzed and Kon looked around more frantically.
‘Tim-’
‘Conner, could you get the door, please.’
Kon sighed and wiped his hands on the throw. He gave the wet patch an annoyed look and turned it over, considering using his heat vision… wait. He looked at his dry hands in frustration. This is what he gets for curbing his arrogance or whatever Tim called it. Forgotten powers and a wet couch throw.
The doorbell rang again.
‘Conner!’
‘Coming. I’m coming.’
Kon floated to the door (just because he could) and then he had his arms full of…
‘Roxy,’ he said blankly and then his face morphed into a grin. ‘Roxy!’ He spun her in a small circle and she laughed.
‘You didn’t think I’d miss the wedding, did ya? S.B. getting married. I never thought I’d see the day.’
Kon smiled so wide his face ached. ‘I know,’ he said smugly and maybe a little proudly.
He pulled her in and shut the front door. ‘Course I knew you’d be here, Rox. It just slipped my mind that you’d be here in the days before.’
‘Uh-huh,’ she raised her eyebrows but she could hardly keep the smile off her face. She lowered her voice, ‘listen, is he…’
‘He’s in the shower.’
‘Good,’ she grabbed him and pulled him into the kitchen, whispering in his ear, ‘this is what you want, right? Because if not, you say the word and I’ll have you outta here by-’
‘Rox, no. This is what I want,’ she didn’t look convinced so he said it again, ‘I want to marry Tim.’
She folded her arms. ‘I never trusted him. I don’t like how much he knows and now, here he is forcing my little brother into a marriage. I’ll-’
Kon put his hands on her arms because she looked like she was about to march into the bathroom and rip the poor guy’s head off.
‘Rox, it’s okay,’ he laughed lightly, ‘I love him and I wanna marry him. I really wanna marry him.’
Her face softened. ‘Well,’ she clicked her tongue, ‘that’s good. I only want what’s best for you.’
Kon’s eyes widened. ‘I thought you liked Tim? You told me he was growing on you last game night.’
‘Lots of things grow on you, Conner. Most of ‘em ain’t good.’
‘Roxy… I didn’t realize you were getting here so early.’
Kon looked up to see Tim in the doorway. He had wet hair, rosy cheeks and he was dressed in sweats. Kon walked over to him and wrapped his arms around his shower-soft boyfriend.
Be nice, he mouthed over Tim’s head. Roxy rolled her eyes and moved toward them. She pulled Tim out of his arms and into a too-tight hug.
‘Look, you’re marrying one of ours so that makes you one of ours too. Don’t mess it up, alright?’
‘Of course not,’ Tim said smoothly.
Kon rolled his eyes and jumped onto the couch. He flicked through channels on the TV. ‘Because messing things up ain’t something we do, right?’
‘Zip it, kid,’ Roxy grinned and sat on the coffee table in front of him, green coat wrinkling beneath her.
‘Hey! I was watching that.’
She ignored him. ‘Here,’ she said and she handed him two coins, one gold and one silver.
‘Uh, thanks?’
She shook her head. ‘You put them in your shoes. Dad says it’ll bring you good fortune.’
‘Rox, I don’t think I need…’
‘It’s tradition,’ she interrupted, ‘and you keep them after too.’
Kon grinned. Steph had been pestering him for stuff for the wedding album.
‘Thanks, Rox.’
‘Listen,’ Steph said, dress puddling as she knelt in front of Tim and fiddled with his pant leg, ‘he takes it off with his teeth and then you put it in one of the little folders in the album.’
Tim batted her hand away and took over. ‘Alright.’
‘I don’t care how gross it is.’
‘Alright.’
‘Or if he rips it.’
‘I get it, Steph. It’s going in the album.’
‘Or how many fluids-’
‘Steph!’
‘What?’ She shoved his hands out of the way, ‘I swear you have to do everything yourself around here.’
Tim tumbled into the car, throwing a grin and a wave over his shoulder at the crowd watching. Conner pulled him into the backseat so that he was half sprawled on top of him and slammed the door shut.
Conner grinned. ‘I shouldn’t be doing this-’ Conner’s hands came to rest on Tim’s hips ‘-I’m a married man now, Mr. Drake-Wayne.’
Tim sat up so he was straddling Conner’s legs and matched his bright grin. ‘Didn’t you hear? So am I.’
Tim leaned down to kiss him, all smiling lips and clacking teeth. Conner pulled back with a laugh. Tim joined him, bowing his head and snickering into Conner’s cheek.
‘I love you,’ Conner said. He trailed a fingertip along Tim’s spine, dragging up the thin material of his shirt. He’d lost the suit jacket ages ago.
Tim watched the city outside blur as the car weaved in and out of traffic.
‘Next stop paradise,’ he murmured.
‘What?’
‘We spoke about this weeks ago. The Villa del Balbianello is where they filmed… Oh,’ Tim took in the dry amused look on Conner’s face and smiled sheepishly, ‘I love you too.’
Conner snorted and Tim shook his head.
‘Sorry,’ he said, hiding his smile in Conner’s hair and inhaling deeply, ‘you’ll look gorgeous in Europe wearing whatever Dick’s packed in your suitcase.’
Conner groaned and Tim grinned. He’d long since let go of getting his way. If the clothes were that bad, he’d buy them new ones. Or just… go without. That sounded good too.
He ran his lips along Conner’s hairline and down his temple.
‘You look gorgeous now.’
Tim nipped lightly at Conner’s earlobe, letting his tongue dart out to wet the shell of his ear.
Conner hummed. ‘What do you say we take some pictures that aren’t for the wedding album?’ His voice, and the way that he leaned forward so that his lips brushed Tim’s neck, made Tim shiver.
Tim grinned and pulled back. He dug into his pockets.
‘Hey,’ he knocked on the glass separating them from the driver as he slid open the little hatch.
‘Sir? We have about half an hour until we reach the airstrip. I wanted to congratulate the two of you but I didn’t want to interrupt.’
Tim gave him an amused look. Boy, was he glad that Alfred enjoyed a good whiskey from time to time. He handed over some earplugs alongside a wad of cash before reaching through to press the button that raised the privacy screen.
‘Thanks,’ he said as he shut the hatch.
Tim turned back to his grinning husband and shrugged. ‘Luck favors the prepared.’
Conner put his hands on Tim’s hips and pulled him properly back into his lap.
‘Well, you’re about to get real lucky.’
Tim laughed and kissed him on the lips. ‘You’re a loser.’
‘Yeah,’ Kon licked at his mouth, ‘and you married me.’
Tim looked down at his twinkling eyes, rosy cheeks, and grinning lips before smiling softly.
‘Yeah… I did.’