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The sun was warm, especially so against ebony fur, but Shadow didn’t mind. He enjoyed the heat. He let it sink fully down through flesh and into bone, warming himself in a field of flowers like some cold-blooded creature at the whim of the sun’s mercy for homeostasis.
Shadow closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, detecting the scents of freshly disturbed grass and cherry blossoms from the tree overhead.
Spring had finally sprung, and the timing was symbolic. Eggman’s latest ploy had been defeated, and the world was rebuilding and recovering.
It was an opportunity for rebirth and growth after destruction and mayhem. Shadow wondered what it would be like to be a part of building something rather than destroying.
Did he even belong in such a world?
He crossed his legs at the ankle and folded his arms behind his head, mind wandering. What would that be like? To not jump from one disaster to the next? What would he do?
He admittedly liked this, basking in the outdoors after a particularly challenging race with his blue counterpart. Maybe he could do more of that. Maybe it could become a more… regular thing. He tilted his head slightly to the right and opened crimson eyes to regard Sonic’s sleeping form.
The hero was sprawled across the grass in the same position he’d collapsed after narrowly winning their race. Blue lids were shut, mouth slightly agape and relaxed, chest rising and falling with deep, steady breaths. Just looking at him made Shadow feel at ease.
When that had happened he had no idea. He closed his eyes again, bringing up Sonic’s sleeping image in his mind’s eye. Sonic’s arm was outstretched toward him, gloved palm open, almost beckoning him. What if he slid a little closer? What if he rested his head right there where peach and blue fur met and listened to the comforting beat of Sonic’s heart?
A corner of Shadow’s mouth turned up at the thought. In his daydream, he tilted his head slightly, nuzzling soft fur. What did Sonic smell like so close? Shadow didn’t think he used any sort of cologne or spray, which appealed to him. Those scents often overpowered his sensitive nose to the point of pain. Shadow breathed deeply, imagining Sonic to smell like something outdoorsy and natural, like the grass they lay in, or perhaps sassafras or mint.
Maybe someday he would find out.
“Shadow, c’mon! It’s a million degrees out here, dude, just come out for a minute!”
Shadow raised an eyeridge at Sonic who stood in sea water that just covered the tops of his bare feet. Shadow knew he wouldn’t go any further. He stretched his legs out on the beach towel Rouge had wisely told him to pack, and leaned back on his hands. “I, unlike you, can stand the heat just fine.”
Sonic rolled his eyes and dipped his hand to catch some sea water, flinging it across the dozen or so white-sanded feet that separated them, earning him an immediate scowl from his favorite rival. “Aw, don’t leave me out here all alone!”
“Why? Afraid you might drown in two inches of water?”
“If I said yes, would you come over here?”
“No.”
Sonic crossed his arms over his chest and glanced out at the ocean and then back to Shadow before swallowing hard. “Fine. Have it your way.”
Shadow shook his head and turned to dig through his bag for the paperback he’d brought along, hoping the others got back with their damn ice cream so he didn’t have to–
The unmistakable sound of splashing had Shadow’s head whipping up and back to the beach. He was up and darting into the water a millisecond later.
His bare hands grabbed peach shoulders, stopping the hero from going out into the choppy blue any further. “What are you doing, idiot!? You can’t swim!”
“Ha! I knew it’d work!”
Shadow froze, dumbfounded. “You-you risked your life to get your way?!”
“Well… when you put it that way–”
Shadow didn’t stay to listen. He released Sonic and waded back to his now sandy and disheveled towel, dripping wet and pissed as could be. He could hear Sonic clumsily pushing through the water behind him and calling out his name, but it didn’t matter.
“Shadow! Shadow, wait!”
Shadow reached for his canvas bag and started to stuff his towel in it, when Sonic pulled his arm back. “Dude! I’m sorry! Please stay.”
Shadow whirled on him, pushing at a peach chest angrily. “Why would you do that? You could have drowned!”
Green eyes shifted downward, blue ears tilting back sheepishly. “It seemed a small price to pay at the time.”
Shadow stood a little straighter, his mouth falling open in surprise, before he shook his head adamantly. “Nothing is worth that price.”
Sonic looked up, hand reaching for the strap of Shadow’s bag. His grip was hesitant, his eyes apologetic and soft. “Stay?”
Some of the fear-fueled fire left Shadow’s eyes, and his body relaxed a little. He allowed Sonic to pull the bag away and drop it down in the sand. “Fine,” the hybrid grumbled. “On one condition.”
“Name it.”
Shadow reached for Sonic’s hand and pulled him back to the water, the blue hedgehog’s grip steadfast and eager, almost like he’d willingly follow Shadow to the ends of the earth. Like his greatest fear was shadowed by something stronger. Shadow’s heart fluttered in a not unpleasant way.
“You’re learning how to swim.”
Fall. The most beloved season to many. Sunglasses were exchanged for scarves, tank tops for sweaters, and iced coffees for apple ciders. The air grew crisp and chill, fragrant with the scent of damp, decaying leaves. The treetops dazzled in an array of yellow, orange, and crimson, and Shadow supposed it was aesthetically pleasing, but, try as he might, he held no love for autumn.
The days grew short, the nights long, and life became… cold. There was something about the onset of the colder seasons that reminded Shadow of the loss he’d endured. There was something about those darker days that made him feel a sort of hollow emptiness in his chest, one he wasn’t quite sure how to fill. It was as though he was missing something, but had no idea what.
This year was the worst it had ever been.
Perhaps that’s why his annoying teammate had dragged him away from their comfortable second story apartment to this…
Well. To Shadow, it was the seventh level of hell.
To others, it was a fall festival.
The bat at his side smiled widely, her arm linked securely with his lest he try to escape via chaos control. The two Mobians sidestepped taller humans and worked their way through the center of the festivities. Shadow’s senses were overwhelmed by ceaseless bells, chimes, and whistles, his nose assaulted by the heavy aroma of sizzling meats and fried carbohydrates, and his eyes blinded by flashing neon lights. He squinted in discomfort, though sunset had long ago passed, and resisted the urge to cover his ears with his hands.
This was horrible. How anyone could think this was–
“Shadow!”
Dark ears perked right up, no longer wishing to be covered. Emerald eyes met his, and he felt his tail give a brief wag. He quickly forced it still, hoping no one saw. He cleared his throat as his rival approached. “Sonic.”
“What am I? Chopped liver?” Rouge pouted.
“Aw, ‘course not!” Sonic grinned. “I was just saving the best for last.”
Rouge rolled her eyes but gave Sonic a sly smile anyway. “Charmer. Fine. Consider me pacified.”
Sonic grinned. “Whatcha doin’ anyway? Didn’t think this was Grumpy’s scene.”
“It’s not,” Shadow growled, frowning as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“I’m taking our dear sweet, neighborhood crankypants out for a stroll because all he does is work and hole up in his room–”
“That’s not true! I–”
“Buying more goddamn plants doesn’t count!”
Sonic raised his brows, looking from Rouge to Shadow warily before speaking. “Tails just left. He only came to keep me company and wants to get an early start in the morning on some new creation he’s workin’ up. I’ve got a few more rides in me though.” He shifted awkwardly, green eyes meeting Shadow’s. “If you want?” he asked hesitantly.
Shadow opened his mouth to decline when Rouge pushed him forward. “He’s all yours, Blue!”
“Wait, what? Rouge!” Shadow called out, but it was no use. The bat had launched herself into the air and was already far above the noise and commotion. Almost like this had been her plan all along….
Shadow turned and glared at his counterpart, but then Sonic was pulling at his arm, removing it from its position across his chest and reaching for his hand. Shadow’s heart skipped a beat when Sonic laced their fingers, and suddenly he was too awestruck to vocalize a complaint.
Maybe he didn’t have one anymore.
“One ride, Shads. Just one. How’s about….” Sonic paused, green eyes combing the many attractions, lips pursed in deep thought, but Shadow’s eyes were only for Sonic. The hero’s cobalt flur was so shiny the swirl of gleaming neon from the nearest rides flickered in a rainbow of colors against it. Long blue quills swooped down a lithe back that ended in a perky blue tail, and then–
Shadow’s face bloomed red, his whole body overly warm despite the chill. W-was he… did he… Did he just check out Sonic’s ass? No. No…. No, that had definitely not happened.
His eyes flickered down again.
“I got it!”
Shadow nearly jumped out of his skin, certain Sonic had caught him definitely not staring at his perfect little–
“A race!” Sonic continued, pulling him forward, completely oblivious to Shadow’s world flipping on its axis.
“A r-race?” Shadow managed, mouth miserably dry for some reason.
“There!” Sonic pointed just ahead, where a trio of connected slides stood a handful of stories tall. A single human was zipping down the brightly colored compressed plastic faster than Shadow knew was safe.
“Not too crazy, not too loud. Just a race! You up for it?” Sonic threw Shadow a challenging look, knowing full well the answer.
Shadow narrowed his eyes. “So long as you’re ready to lose.”
“Ohhhh, already talkin’ shit. Fine. How about a wager then, if you’re so sure? How about, if I win, we do another ride of my choosing.”
“And if I win?”
Sonic looked over his shoulder and shrugged. “Then you can leave and do whatever you want.”
Shadow tilted his head to the either side, considering the terms and finally nodded. “Agreed.”
Sonic tugged on Shadow’s hand, leading him up rickety metal steps. “Good! Because I already have our next ride picked out.” The hero released Shadow’s hand and strode ahead eagerly, leaving his dark counterpart desperately looking anywhere other than exactly where his eyes kept wanting to fall.
By the time they reached the top, he’d tripped three times, and his face was burning. Sonic gave him a slightly concerned look but fortunately didn’t mention it. An attendant gave them each a ragged piece of carpeting and directed the two hedgehogs to set them down side by side.
“You ready?” Sonic asked as he lay belly down, eyes gleaming with excitement.
“I was literally born ready.”
A light at the end of the slides blinked green, and without another word, the pair of hedgehogs pushed forward. They were gliding far more slowly than their light jogging pace, but it didn’t matter. Sonic let out a loud whoop of exhilaration, thrilled by joy alone, and it was catching. Shadow grinned widely, caught up in the wind whipping through his quills and the giddy hedgehog at his side.
The whole thing lasted seconds, but then, just before the end, some part of the slide structure shifted, just enough to send Shadow careening into Sonic’s lane as they rolled and fumbled across straw covered ground. Shadow shook his head as they came to a full stop, realizing very suddenly that he was half sprawled across Sonic’s torso.
Sonic’s laugh rang out, and it was beautiful and contagious, and Shadow couldn’t help it. He did something he hadn’t done in over 50 years.
He laughed.
Sonic froze, face softening, not losing its glee, far from it. But it shifted slightly to something warm and fond, something that made Shadow’s stomach dance and his palms sweat. He licked his lips, noticing how emerald green eyes followed the movement, his head dipping down slightly as though weighted by something outside himself. Like he was drawn in by some magnet–
“Are you guys okay??” cried the attendant as he clambered down the last few steps. “I don’t know what happened!”
Shadow scrambled off Sonic and backed away frantically before standing and brushing dirt and dried grass from his fur. Sonic slowly stood at his side, cheeks pink from the chill. “We’re totally fine. We’ve taken worse licks.”
The human sagged in relief. “Thank goodness. You’re sure?”
“Positive.”
Sonic pulled at a piece of straw that had been dangling between his eyes and started to turn. “So about that–”
But no one was there.
The bare minimum. That’s what Shadow had been doing. He’d show up when needed, fight the fights, save the world, keep Eggman at bay, file his damn reports on time, but… there was no lingering afterwards. There were no impromptu races, no chance meetings at festivals or beaches or fields of flowers. Shadow was very careful to keep his distance from Sonic.
But as the nights grew darker and the chill deeper, Shadow found that hollow feeling in his chest making its presence more and more known. It’d gone from occasionally noticeable to a distinct and unignorable ache.
And the longer he kept that distance between him and Sonic… the worse it got.
But being around Sonic was too much. It was confusing. It was like Sonic’s proximity scrambled his systems. He couldn’t think straight. His mouth went dry, his palms sweat, his heart raced, and he felt strangely hot, no matter the temperature.
He paced his room, his body tense, his mind restless, that empty throb in his chest beating in time with his heart. He glanced out his window, noting the sun high in the sky, reflecting off freshly fallen snow, and sighed.
A run. He just needed to burn off some energy. That was all.
He darted from his room, as though haste would be enough to leave his undesired thoughts behind, and was skating through snow-covered streets a moment later. The cold was biting, the wind cutting through his pelt and providing a much-needed distraction from the disconcerting swirl of emotion fluttering and fumbling inside his chest.
He inhaled deeply as he neared the outskirts of the city, finally feeling some relief, and headed for the dense forests in the distance. The threat of trees racing by him at the speed of sound would be all the challenge his mind could handle. There’d be no room for any thoughts of–
Something tangled around Shadow’s ankles just inside the treeline, sending him crashing to the ground in a spray of snow and ice. He landed hard against the side of a hill, fortunate that he’d missed a nearby pine. He would have lived, sure. But it would have hurt like hell.
He snarled and worked on releasing his legs. Some sort of synthetic fabric was wound tight around his skates and trailing after him in tattered ribbons of yellow and silver. He ripped at the bindings, pissed and cold, and–
“Shadow?”
Oh no.
Shadow’s hands stilled as crimson eyes slowly peered upward, directly into green.
Sonic.
“Jeez, Shads,” the hero said, kneeling at Shadow’s feet and pulling at the frayed cloth. “You came outta nowhere–”
Shadow broke through the rest of the fabric and scrambled away. “What the hell?? What is all that??”
Sonic gathered the discarded scraps and held them in his hands with a half amused chuckle. “Well, it was my tent.”
“Tent?”
“Yeah,” Sonic replied, gesturing behind him where Shadow could see a makeshift campfire amongst… a horrible mess. “I’ve been camping out here since yesterday.”
“It’s well below freezing, hedgehog. Why on earth would you be camping?”
Sonic’s eyeridges raised, and he inhaled deeply before looking away sheepishly. “I’m hiding. From Amy.”
Shadow furrowed his brows in confusion. “Why?”
“Because… today is Valentine’s Day. She spends the whole day every year trying to corner me into a date.”
“Aren’t you dating?”
“No,” Sonic sighed in frustration. “Never have. She’s, uh….” The hero swallowed hard and looked away. “She’s not my type,” he muttered so softly, Shadow could have sworn the blue hedgehog didn’t intend for him to hear.
But he did. And his stomach did that weird skipping, twisting thing it liked to do around Sonic.
Sonic grabbed at a sleeping bag that had been strewn across the ground and wrapped it over his bare shoulders before looking back. “Looks like I’m gonna have to take my chances back at home, though, thanks to a certain someone–”
“This is your fault! You put it directly–”
“In the middle of the woods, in a place no one would find? Because that was the whole point?” Sonic retorted dryly.
Shadow growled halfheartedly, knowing he was responsible for the mess but not quite able to admit it.
“Hey, before you ditch me for months again, want some hot chocolate?”
“What?”
“Which part?” Sonic asked, bending over his tiny campfire and stirring a steaming pot. “The part where you’ve been dodging me, or the hot chocolate part?”
Shadow’s gaze dropped to the ground, suddenly finding it impossible to meet Sonic’s eyes.
“Mmhmm, so the hot chocolate part. Looks like you’re already aware of the rest.” Sonic paused to search the snow at his feet and recover a partially buried mug. “I accidentally bought jumbo sized packets,” he said as he poured, “so there’s plenty. If you can stand to be in my presence, that is.”
Shadow wanted to leave. He wanted to continue his run, go as far and as fast as he could. He wanted to escape whatever it was that left him feeling this bizarre combination of elation and fear, but…
Hot chocolate did sound really good.
“Okay,” Shadow said hesitantly. “If you have extra.”
“Like I said,” Sonic replied, filling a second mug, “jumbo packets.”
Shadow moved up beside Sonic, inching closer to the fire that crackled in front of a relatively snow-free log. “Aren’t those just the human-sized ones?”
Sonic shrugged. “Still jumbo to me.” He held out a steaming mug by the rim. “Marshmallows are next to the log. Help yourself.”
Shadow accepted the cup and turned to brush more snow off the log before taking a seat, completely ignoring the bag of marshmallows at his feet. Sonic watched Shadow’s rigid form for a moment, noting how tense the other was, taking in his shivers and how he cradled his mug with both hands. He sighed in exasperation before reaching for the bag of hot chocolate essentials and plopping a handful of marshmallows in both mugs.
Shadow opened his mouth to snap but shut it when Sonic settled in at his side and wrapped a side of the open sleeping bag across his shoulders. “Don’t freak out,” Sonic soothed. “You’re shivering, and it’s just a blanket.”
Shadow stiffened, body suddenly flooding with heat that had nothing at all to do with a sleeping bag that smelled of dandelions and…. He breathed deeply. Mint.
Sonic sipped his hot chocolate, eyes trained on flickering yellow and orange flames. “Did I do something to piss you off?” he asked finally. “You just seem like you can’t stand to be around me.”
“I can’t.”
Sonic inhaled sharply and then let out a tense, short laugh. “Well, don’t sugarcoat it.”
Shadow’s ears flattened as he stared down at his drink. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy your company, it’s just that…”
Sonic turned toward Shadow, their sides brushing as he did so. “It’s what?”
“Everything is upside down when I’m around you. North is south, black is white, night is day, and I don’t know if I’m coming or going, or stuck somewhere in-between. You make me second guess everything. Nothing is clear, and I’m lightheaded and sick-feeling and–”
Shadow stopped talking at Sonic’s sudden laughter. He felt embarrassment turn his stomach and stood to escape, warmth be damned, but Sonic stopped him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” the hero chuckled. “Sit back down. Please? You’re warm.”
Shadow shifted awkwardly for a moment but finally acquiesced. Sonic scooted even closer than before and placed the cover back over dark shoulders. “I’m only laughing because… it’s the same for me.”
Crimson eyes shifted quickly to green in surprise. “What?”
Sonic smiled softly. “I feel the same way. I have for a long time.”
“What is it? What causes it?”
Sonic huffed softly, pausing for a moment. Finally, he set his mug down and turned fully toward Shadow. “Do you trust me?”
Shadow’s eyes narrowed slightly in confusion but he nodded after a moment.
“Close your eyes.”
Shadow frowned but did as he was told. There was a moment’s confusion when nothing happened, and he wondered if Sonic was playing some prank, but then there was a tickle of warm breath across his lips, followed by soft pressure, and his world erupted in feeling.
His heart raced, his body burned, and there was absolutely no doubt as to why. No longer was everything muddled and confusing. No longer did that emptiness ache in his chest. For the first time in months, possibly years, everything was perfectly clear. He wanted Sonic. He wanted him in every way it was possible to want someone.
Shadow tilted his head and pushed forward a little, wanting more contact, more closeness, more clarity. He could feel Sonic smile into the kiss and found himself mirroring the expression, and suddenly, he felt just as warm as he had basking in the sun on a spring day, just as hopelessly bewildered by Sonic’s desire to have him near, and just as exhilarated by shared joy. It was this. This was what he had been missing.
Shadow broke away after a moment, breaths fast, a new kind of shiver running through his body in repeated waves. “I…”
Pink blossomed across Sonic’s muzzle. “Yeah…”
“You taste like hot chocolate.”
Sonic chuckled softly, biting his lower lip in a way that made Shadow want to taste him all over again. “Everyone should have chocolate on Valentine’s.”
Shadow leaned forward, lips ghosting over Sonic’s. “Promise this is how I get my chocolate next year?”
Sonic grinned and leaned forward.
“Promise.”