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Koyuki awoke in the middle of the night. It wasn’t unusual, she was used to suddenly getting up, feeling parched or too hot. But this time, she stayed awake. Long enough to notice that something was weighing down one side of her blanket.
Carefully, she sat up, mustering all her strength to prop herself up on her arms. Oh, it’s just you. She smiled once she saw Hakuji’s sleeping figure, his head resting on one side of her blanket. Must be uncomfortable. I’m sorry you have to watch over me even after training.
She placed her hand atop the boy’s head, trying her best not to wake him up. Her fingers ran through his hair, her eyes scanning down his frame. From her spot, she could see the marks left on the boy’s forearms, along with faded scars on the exposed part of his neck and collarbones.
She hated being reminded of his past, not that she’d ever heard much of it. The only bits of the story she knew were either those her dad had heard in passing or from the rare chances Hakuji would open up to her when he was tending to her needs. But every time she asked for more, the boy would just smile and shake his head. Perhaps he feared that if she knew the truth, she’d become afraid of him. She hated the stories, but at the same time would tirelessly think of them. Of how wrong people were about him.
On days where she felt particularly strong, she’d go around the house to watch him do chores. She wasn’t able to help with much, but Hakuji never complained about it. Hakuji was sweet to her. He was sweet to everyone. And she wished people would see that side of him more often if they just opened their hearts to the poor boy. She placed her hand upon his outstretched arm, accidentally waking him up from his slumber. He had always been a light sleeper. With a groan, he opened his eyes.
“Oh, you’re awake. Do you need anything?” He mumbled, his head still foggy from drowsiness. The girl shook her head.
“I’m sorry I woke you up,” she replied, her hand lingering over the marks on his forearms.
“No, it’s alright. I wasn’t really sleeping anyway.”
Lies , she thought and smiled. He had always been a little too protective of her and her condition. But she didn’t mind it. She thought it was a kind gesture.
“Are you cold?” She asked, her tone laced with concern.
“I can deal with it. Are you sure you don’t need anything?”
Another lie, your arms are freezing cold. This time she giggled, knowing how stubborn he was on taking care of himself. “You can’t keep taking care of me if you get sick, Hakuji.”
“Mm. It’s fine, I promise.” That was when he noticed her warm hand over his forearm. “Didn’t you wake me up for something? Do you need me to call your father?”
“No, no need. The old man’s probably off drinking by his lonesome. I wouldn’t want to disturb him.”
All of the sudden, a coughing fit made its way up her throat. Her hand held onto her chest while the other gripped tightly onto her blanket. Hakuji got up to his feet and fetched her a glass of warm water, quickly returning back to her side. He placed his hand over her back, coaching her on how to breathe to get through it. Once she stopped, he handed her the glass of water, which she drank obediently.
The room fell silent for a moment, with him carefully eyeing her in case she were to pass out and her looking down at her reflection in the water. “Hakuji,” she called out to him, her voice still raspy from her fit. “Mm? Something wrong?”
“Can you go fetch me another futon? Dad should have left one in the cupboard over there.”
The boy hesitated for a while but followed through with her request. Without much time to waste, he retrieved the bedding and blanket set from the cupboard she mentioned, lying it flat down against the floor next to her.
“Here. Do you need help moving?”
Koyuki shook her head calmly. “Now you get some rest.”
Hakuji paused for a moment and from his expression, she could tell he was rather confused. “I… have a bedroom, Koyuki.”
“I know. I just want you to sleep by me tonight.” She patted the spot next to her. “If you’re worried about my father, he wouldn’t mind if I tell him it was my request.”
Slowly, the boy slid in under the blankets, but then stopped midway as if realizing something. “What if you need something from me?”
“Then I’ll reach over and call you,” Koyuki reassured him. “It’ll be fine, I promise. You’ve had a long day today. I don’t want you getting sick.”
It seemed to him there was no way of getting out of his situation, so he obliged. With the lights now dimmed, he rested his head onto the soft bedding after making sure the girl had slipped back under the covers.
They laid in silence for a while, both aware that the other hadn’t fallen asleep yet. Hakuji was intent on letting the girl fall asleep first, no matter how tired her eyes were. Meanwhile, Koyuki’s mind was racing. She dreamt of the world outside, not just over the dojo walls. She dreamt of faraway lands, places where people wouldn’t judge who they were, where they had no idea what their backstory was. Places she longed to race to the moment her feet were able to pick her up, off of the mattress she had to sleep in - day in and day out, only to pursue a new life for all three of them.
“Hakuji,” she called out, turning her head to lock eyes with the boy sleeping across from her. His eyes were barely awake.
“Yes, Koyuki?”
“When I get better, do you think we can go out somewhere?”
She heard a gentle laugh as a response. “Perhaps.” A smile lit up her face.
“I wish we could travel elsewhere. Away from this little town.”
“Mm, of course.”
“I just know there’s a place out there for us. Where people won’t judge you for what you did in the past. Where I could walk around freely, tend to the fields and maybe raise livestock. We could get jobs, live in a little house together with our family. Dad could live out his days, watching children play around.”
This time, she got no response. Hakuji had fallen asleep halfway through her story. She wasn’t upset, rather relieved he was finally able to lower his guard enough to fall asleep. She ceased her stories, turning her full attention to him with a loving smile. Her eyes flitted from his relaxed jaw, up to his frosted pink eyelashes, even to the tips of his scruffy black hair. He wasn’t perfect, Koyuki knew that. He wasn’t like the princes she had read books about. He wasn’t an esteemed member of royalty. He wasn’t a wealthy merchant with flocks of servants, ready for her every wish. He wasn’t a dashing samurai, known throughout the land for his sword-fighting skills.
He was Hakuji, a boy who mistakenly led a life as a thief for his dying father. He was the Hakuji who had been caught and punished for his crimes, who’s been marked and sent into exile. He was the Hakuji who started fights with those he barely even knew. But, more importantly, he was her Hakuji, one she had grown fond of over the time he had been tasked with taking care of her. And Koyuki wouldn’t have it any other way.