Work Text:
Words have spread around pretty fast in DEX HQ.
Jang Jaeyoung, the new hot recruit, is taken. These are the things Jaeyoung has heard people say about him one month in. Which is fantastic. He won't receive unwanted romantic advances and gets to flaunt his devastatingly adorable boyfriend. Two birds with one stone.
"How good is your boyfriend at programming?" asks Curtis when they're eating at the cafeteria with their 5 person product team. At his question, the rest of the table's attention shifts, because they're the worst gossip and Jaeyoung's love life is still an exciting topic for them to talk about.
"The best." he answers easily.
Dianne, who's a couple of seats to his right, scoffs, "You're just saying that."
He snorts in amusement and shakes his head, "Believe me or not, doesn't change the fact he's always top of his class."
Ed whistles, "Beauty and brain? You hit the jackpot, don't you, Jang?"
"You sound like you've seen his face. Is he really that pretty?" asks Patricia, sounding equally as invested as the rest of them.
“Accidentally. Jang set his boyfriend’s picture as his lock screen.” Ed answers.
“What! Let us have a look, too!!” Whine the others.
Jang Jaeyoung sighs. He’s not against showing Sangwoo off, but he won’t hear the end of it anytime soon if he shows them the lock screen in question. It’s Sangwoo’s most adorable one to date; hair a bit fluffy, bangs slightly parted (a style Yuna had introduced him to and he took an immediate liking for; it was mainly because of Jaeyoung’s first reaction upon seeing his styled hair that Sangwoo started wearing it more often, but Jaeyoung doesn’t know that), and his face sporting the sweetest smile.
It took three weeks for Sangwoo to bestow Jang Jaeyoung with his pretty smile for the first time, and it would take Jang Jaeyoung a lifetime to get over that pretty smile. There is zero chance he would let these people see Sangwoo’s pretty smile for free.
So he’s petty, sue him. He takes comfort in the fact that Sangwoo knows his most annoying quality and chooses to stay.
“I’ll show you once I deem you all worthy. Now let’s get back to work.”
They groan.
Jaeyoung has taken to not wearing cologne soon after he arrived in France. He asked around where he could find the nearest Asian market and went there the first chance he got. Fortunately, he found what he was looking for: the soap, shampoo, and laundry detergent brand Chu Sangwoo uses.
Living without Sangwoo after knowing the joy of his presence leaves Jang Jaeyoung bereft. The first two weeks were the hardest. He kept reaching for a hand that was not there; turned to his side to speak about what’s on his mind only to find an empty space where Sangwoo usually stood.
If he’s being honest, it actually never stops being hard. He just has to get used to living with a gnawing Sangwoo-shaped emptiness. Listening to his voice on their daily phone call and looking at the ever-growing Sangwoo folder in his gallery (courtesy of Choi Yuna, god bless her) have the contradictory result of both soothing his aching heart and having it bleed in agony for the fact that he doesn’t have Sangwoo at an easy reach.
However, it still beats the alternative of not having Sangwoo in his life at all. He much prefers living with a constant longing than being completely without Sangwoo. And he knows that Sangwoo wouldn’t forgive him if he let this opportunity go to waste, so he just has to grit his teeth and soldier on.
His Sangwoo is always someone who appreciates fair achievements brought by honest hard work. He needs to be someone his Sangwoo could be proud of, and he will endure one year of not having Sangwoo near if it means he gets to be able to have Sangwoo by his side again someday.
And Sangwoo is the best reward Jaeyoung could ever ask for.
So he adapts. He surrounds himself with Sangwoo’s scent and colors, organizes his desk once every few days, and eats Sangwoo’s preferred dish more often than is normal. It doesn’t even scratch the surface of his longing, but it helps.
He had wondered if Sangwoo was having the same difficulty adjusting to a life without Jaeyoung or if he would be more content without Jaeyoung to distract him from his routine.
An unprompted message from Yuna two weeks into his stay in France quickly answered this question.
It was a picture of Sangwoo in the library, head propped up by his palm, and a thousand-yard stare in his eyes. The gray hoodie he wore swallowed up his frame; there was a familiar acrylic stain on one of its sleeves. Yuna captioned it with “been sighing 20 times in the past hour. call him or something,”
Jaeyoung had been working past midnight, then. He just finished showering and was about to call Sangwoo before Yuna’s message arrived, so he didn’t bother replying to her and immediately called speed dial 7 on his phone instead.
They stayed on the phone for two hours, according to his call history the next morning. He stayed awake for 1, and concluded that Sangwoo chose not to hang up after he fell asleep.
He found a text from Yuna the next morning with a picture of Sangwoo working on his textbooks wearing his earphones, captioned: “This brat ran outside and left his things cluttered on the table for an hour, came back with springs on his steps, and refused to take his earphones out for another hour before we had to drag his ass to eat. Good job, Jang Jaeyoung.”
When Jang Jaeyoung arrives at work one Friday after two months working at DEX with an unusually big grin on his face, his teammates regard him with unmasked distrust.
They have an approaching deadline and have been working overtime for two weeks straight. The dark circles around their eyes have become more prominent as days pass by, and they, including Jaeyoung, have been complaining about back pain and cramps in different parts of their body for at least the last three days.
Seeing one part of their team suddenly appear with an unusual huge smile amidst their slumped shoulders is something they, understandably, will be suspicious about.
The thing is, their suspicion is not unwarranted, because there could only be one reason for Jang Jaeyoung to be this happy in the middle of an approaching deadline: Chu Sangwoo.
Yesterday, he surprised Jaeyoung with a screenshot of flight itineraries; his own, to be exact.
They had talked about finally meeting soon, with Sangwoo offering himself to be the first one to visit. But they had definitely not set a date. Jang Jaeyoung was understandably stunned, and a lot turned on, because Sangwoo had rarely—if ever—surprised Jaeyoung, and it currently sat on the top three of the hottest things Jaeyoung had experienced around Sangwoo.
Jaeyoung found himself rooted to the spot and looked on in disbelief until his phone screen showed an incoming call.
“Jaeyoungie hyung, are you upset? You didn’t reply for quite some time.” came Sangwoo’s sweet voice, tinted with concern. Jaeyoung needed to reassure him that he wasn’t, but he had yet to find his own voice. He wanted to cry. He wanted to shout from the rooftop. He loved Sangwoo so much. “I’m sorry… Choi Yoochae insisted you like being surprised. Am I stepping over the line?”
“Sangwoo-ya,” he started, because he could no longer bear to hear how distressed Sangwoo had become. “I’m not upset.” he said, but couldn’t quite manage to steady his voice.
“Really?”
“Mmm.” he smiled, then, though Sangwoo couldn’t see him. “I was just overwhelmed.”
“Oh.” Sangwoo exhaled, “The good kind?” he asked, uncertain.
“The best kind, Sangwoo-ya. I’m happy. You make me happy.” he paused, “I just wish I could hug you right now.”
“Tomorrow, Hyung.” Sangwoo said, and like an afterthought, he blurted, “Hyung makes me happy, too.”
So Sangwoo’s aforementioned ‘tomorrow’ has arrived, and Jaeyoung feels like he’s walking on cloud nine. He gets to hold his Sangwoo again soon, and maybe take him on a date in the most cliche setting. Sangwoo will love it and hate it in equal measure. Jaeyoung can’t wait.
But first, he has to deflect any and all questions from his teammates about why he looks disgustingly happy. Jaeyoung responds by saying he finished most of his workload for the week so he will only be working overtime for two hours instead of their usual all-nighter.
So he has time to pick Sangwoo up at the airport, he doesn’t say.
Sangwoo’s bright smile, upon seeing Jaeyoung waiting for him at the arrival gate, is a reward in itself. Jaeyoung is too focused on scanning his face—slightly swollen eyes, likely from trying not to sleep on the plane; full lips stretched into something sweet only for Jaeyoung; how he shines in the middle of the crowd—to notice Sangwoo’s outfit.
It took him a minute to realize that Sangwoo looks good (though who’s Jaeyoung kidding; Sangwoo always looks good). He wears Jaeyoung’s leather jacket on top of Jaeyoung’s gray hoodie and skinny jeans that accentuate his legs, and Jaeyoung is—
Jaeyoung is done for.
When Sangwoo finally reaches the end of the gate, they wait no longer to launch themselves at each other.
The feeling of finally being able to hold Chu Sangwoo in his arms again is second to none. Jaeyoung could feel the warmth, could feel the way Sangwoo clings to him and tucks his head beneath Jaeyoung’s chin. Jaeyoung inhales, and oh. Sangwoo smells like he has been rolling in a bed sheet drenched in Jaeyoung’s cologne, and at that realization, a lump forms in Jaeyoung’s throat.
“Sangwoo-ya,” he whispers in Sangwoo’s ear.
“Yes, Hyung?” came Sangwoo’s muffled reply.
“Why do you smell like me?” he teases, though his heart is close to bursting.
“And why does Hyung not smell like yourself? You smell like soap and laundry detergent.” Sangwoo sounds like he’s pouting about it, and Jaeyoung can’t take it anymore.
He pulls away, only far enough to see Sangwoo’s pout for himself. He cups Sangwoo’s cheeks and squeezes it a little; it gives the desired effect of annoying Sangwoo and making his face look ten times cuter at the same time. Jaeyoung closes the distance and pecks his lips.
Sangwoo goes instantly beet red.
Jaeyoung releases Sangwoo’s cheeks and takes his hand.
They’re having midnight snacks in Jaeyoung’s open plan kitchen after doing some… uh… activities, when Sangwoo (who’s sitting on Jaeyoung’s lap with his back to Jaeyoung’s chest because they can’t yet bear to be apart from each other) asks, “Hyung, did you really stop wearing cologne? Your whole apartment doesn’t smell like your old one at all.”
“And why are you pouting about it?” Jaeyoung says instead of answering, pinching one of Sangwoo’s cheeks lightly.
“Because,” he huffs, and mumbles the next sentence, “I like it.”
Jaeyoung hums, “Is that why you’ve been wearing the same brand of cologne as me?”
He thinks it should not be possible, but somehow Sangwoo pouts harder, “Hyung,”
“C’mon, just answer the question.” he prods gently.
“I just want to.” Sangwoo mumbles. After munching for several seconds, he adds, “Felt like you were near,”
Jaeyoung drops his head on Sangwoo’s shoulder. Sangwoo never plays fair. Sometimes he wonders if Sangwoo has any idea what he’s doing to Jaeyoung’s heart, how he has rearranged Jaeyoung’s core, reshaped it around his everything, and repainted it with his colors.
“And have you ever thought that maybe it’s the same for me?”
He could hear the furrow of Sangwoo’s eyebrows in his next reply, like he’s trying to string up a particularly complicated code, “What do you mean?”
“The reason why I don’t use that cologne anymore; why I use the same brand of soap and laundry detergent as you.”
“Oh.” Sangwoo exhales, as though he didn’t expect that answer. “You do?”
“What, didn't you notice when we showered?”
“My attention was kind of preoccupied with something else, Hyung.” Sangwoo replies haughtily.
Jaeyoung laughs, “You’re such a smartass.”
“I find it funny that you’re the one saying that,” Sangwoo retorts with a small huff.
He coos, “My Sangwoo, aren’t you the cutest,” and turns Sangwoo’s head around to kiss him silly.
In hindsight, Jaeyoung really shouldn’t have brought Sangwoo to a cafe near his workplace. He planned to take Sangwoo to a fine dining restaurant, but Sangwoo put his feet down and demanded Jaeyoung take him to a place Jaeyoung frequents, instead. He even dialed up the pout and puppy eyes, the menace. Jaeyoung bets Yuna has been the one telling him that Jaeyoung can’t say no to that face.
“I want to see the places you like, Hyung.” Sangwoo said this morning when they were talking about their plans for the day. “I want to know more about you through the things I have yet to see, the side of you I have yet to be a part of. I know it’s selfish of me, but—” and Jaeyoung had to cut him there, because he wouldn’t be able to survive if Sangwoo continued saying killer lines with such earnestness.
“Sangwoo-ya.” he starts, where Sangwoo’s words tapered off into silence. Sangwoo was waiting; expectant, “You don’t have to convince me. I’ll cheerfully grant your wish. And if this is your version of being selfish, then I want you to be more selfish with me. It makes me happy. Okay?”
Sangwoo nodded slowly, as though processing a new set of data. Jaeyoung huffed a chuckle, completely endeared.
But that was this morning, and he is approaching regret when, as soon as the bell to the cafe jingles signaling their entrance, a familiar voice calls, “Jang!”
Jaeyoung has to close his eyes for a few beats before sighing in defeat. He could feel Sangwoo’s confused stare next to him; he doesn’t answer Sangwoo’s unasked question, opting to squeeze their joined hands in reassurance instead.
He looks towards the direction of the voice, and curses inwardly when he finds that three-fourth of his team members gathered in a table near the cake display. He walks towards them, pulling Sangwoo along.
He sees the change in their demeanor the moment they realize who might be trailing behind him.
“Morning,” he greets, and finds their stunned silence a bit satisfying. He might be reluctant to see them here because he’s a greedy bastard who wants Sangwoo to himself after two whole months apart, but at least they look like they’re appreciating Sangwoo’s beauty properly.
Then, as though they are wired to the same switch, they all scramble to speak over one another.
“Whoah—”
“Is he—?”
“This is—”
“You are…!”
“So that’s why you…?
None of the words coming out of their mouth make sense, but Jaeyoung gets the gist. And at this point, because Jaeyoung doesn’t really want them to embarrass themselves, he holds up a hand to stop them. All of them clam up in unison.
“This is Chu Sangwoo, my boyfriend.” he says before turning to Sangwoo, voice turns softer as he sees how out of depth Sangwoo looks. “Sangwoo-ya, these are my coworkers. Edward, Curtis, and Patricia.”
“Wow, this is the first time I hear you speak Korean.” Ed says. “Also, your boyfriend is prettier in person.” he adds.
Curtis and Patricia nod their assent, as the latter says, “Now I know why you’re so whipped.”
Jaeyoung turns to Sangwoo to see his ears turning adorably red. He’s still unused to receiving compliments, even though Jaeyoung makes a point of showering him with them on a daily basis. “Hear that, Sangwoo-ya? I’m not the only one who thinks you’re pretty.” He says in French, just to see his coworkers' eyes going wide.
“You’re prettier than me, Hyung.” Sangwoo replies with a straight face (though his red ears are ruining the effect), playing along with Jaeyoung by also speaking French. Jaeyoung loves him so much.
“He speaks French? Why didn’t you tell us!” Curtis moans embarrassedly, palming his own reddening face.
Jaeyoung shrugs, unapologetic. They interrupt his date with Sangwoo; he needs to find his own entertainment else he will feel grumpy about it. “You didn’t ask.”
“Okay, okay, we get your point. We’ll let you go for now.” Patricia waves them off with her hand. “The next time he visits, you owe us a date with him!” Jaeyoung opens his mouth, but she beats her to it, “You are not allowed to say no.”
Jaeyoung huffs, “Whatever. See you guys Monday. Let’s go, Sangwoo-ya,” he pulls at Sangwoo’s hand to find a table on the furthest side of the cafe, away from his annoying coworkers.
Sangwoo has not shown his pretty smile in front of them, so Jaeyoung counts this as his win.
It’s their last night together.
The past three days feel like a dream. They have been too engrossed in each other to take notice of the passing time. They go on dates and they take evening walks by the river and at the end of the day, they fall asleep tangled with each other.
The last time he feels this happy is, not coincidentally, also the last time he gets to hold Sangwoo in his sleep. Jaeyoung doesn’t ever want to let him go, but Sangoo’s words from half a year ago rings in his ears.
“Do you think I’ll be happy if you reject this opportunity for my sake?”
To some extent, Jaeyoung understands that sentiment. If he were in Sangwoo’s shoes, and had to send Sangwoo to another continent because it was what Sangwoo had worked hard for, then he would, even though the distance was hard to endure. He wouldn’t want Sangwoo to grow resentful of Jaeyoung for preventing him from chasing his dreams.
However, Sangwoo might have failed to realize just how much he means to Jaeyoung. DEX is only one successful company among many. Sure, now that he gets to taste a couple of months working there, there are some valued experiences he has come to learn. But he could learn it anywhere else in the world, and he’s confident enough in his skills to know he wouldn’t have any difficulty being accepted to another multimillion-dollar company.
But there is only one Chu Sangwoo in the world. It would take Jaeyoung a few hundred years to find another like him, nevermind the same one. The one who processes informations not unlike a software processing data, but is unexpectedly so human. The one whose tense shoulders come to relax under Jaeyoung’s touch. The one who, despite having no prior experience in dating, puts so much effort into understanding Jaeyoung, into staying with Jaeyoung. The one whose face brightens when he looks at Jaeyoung.
The one who chooses Jaeyoung, and Jaeyoung chooses in return.
The one Jaeyoung loves.
Sangwoo is here in his arms, face tucked into Jaeyoung’s chest, and Jaeyoung knows he’s not sleeping. They have been content to stay in each other’s arms without saying anything.
It’s at that moment that Jaeyoung decides. At their one year mark, where they have agreed to reassess their career choices, he will choose Sangwoo. He will follow wherever Sangwoo wants to go. He will choose Sangwoo the next year, and the next, and every moment in between. Until Sangwoo gets tired of him. Hopefully never.
But he will keep this resolution in his heart until then.
Out loud, he breaks their silence with, “I love you, Sangwoo-ya.”
Sangwoo inhales sharply; his next exhale comes shaky. He pries his face away from Jaeyoung’s neck, only far away enough to peer up at him. “Say it again, Hyung?” he asks in a small voice.
“I love you,” Jaeyoung complies before placing a soft kiss on Sangwoo’s forehead. Sangwoo’s reaction makes Jaeyoung want to tease him a little. “You look like I’ve only said that for the first time.” he chuckles—
And he is met with silence. Confused, Jaeyoung detaches his lips from Sangwoo’s forehead and looks at how his face is painted with disbelief. “Hyung, it is the first time you said that.” Which cannot be true, because Jaeyoung thinks about it all the time, surely he has said it at least once?
… has he not?
Before Jaeyoung could beat himself over his own foolishness, he feels Sangwoo’s hands caging his cheeks. Jaeyoung stares at him in uncertainty, but Sangwoo’s face clears from its previous stricken look; it leaves no room to doubt.
“Hyung. I love you, too.” he says, then kisses Jaeyoung before Jaeyoung could burst into tears. It’s more than desperate, the way he chases Sangwoo’s lips, the way they clutches at each other.
Jaeyoung thought Sangwoo doesn’t understand the depth of his feelings for Sangwoo, but it turns out he was mistaken; it was he who failed to recognize that Sangwoo’s affection for him is the same as his for Sangwoo. They reflect each other, and he is made brighter by the light Sangwoo has shone down on him.
“I love you.”
Epilogue:
Ten months later, at Sangwoo and Jaeyoung’s one year mark.
It’s almost time for their “Talk”.
Jaeyoung has not said anything to anyone, but there is a resignation letter draft saved on his computer.
Working at DEX has been more rewarding than Jaeyoung initially expected. He had learned new things, forged a strong bond with his team, he had fun, and he got to see his boyfriend every once in a while.
But that is also why he is more than certain he will have no lingering regrets of choosing Sangwoo as his future. He just needs to wait until they have their promised “Talk”.
Before it could happen, however, a text arrives just as he’s coming out of the shower. It’s from Sangwoo, which is not unusual in and of itself; they usually talk to each other just after Jaeyoung is done with his day, while Sangwoo is preparing himself for his own. Nothing is out of ordinary, except—
Jaeyoung stares at his phone screen with a sense of de javu.
There, at the bottom of his and Sangwoo’s chat message, sits a file named “flight_itinerary” followed by tomorrow’s date.
They have talked about meeting again soon, but they have definitely not set a date, nor have they agreed who is going to visit who. Jang Jaeyoung is understandably stunned, and a lot turned on, because Sangwoo has gotten better at surprising Jaeyoung. It still sits on the top three of the hottest things Jaeyoung has experienced around Sangwoo, and it’s getting hotter with each surprise.
He clicks on the file to open it, but soon gets confused by the fact that Sangwoo only booked a one-way ticket. Which, to say the least, is not like him at all. His Sangwoo plans everything to the smallest details.
Then he gets a notification of another file being uploaded to their chat. Instead of his expected return flight itinerary, this one is saved as “DEX Software Engineer Recruitment Announcement”. With a shaking hand, he opens the file, and couldn’t help the way his heart starts beating out of his chest.
He only stands there, in the middle of his bedroom, dumbfounded. He doesn’t even realize he has stared at his screen for quite some time until it changes to an incoming call from “우리애기”, the contact name Jaeyoung saved Sangwoo’s as.
He scrambles to answer it, and greets Sangwoo breathlessly with, “Sangwoo-ya. Sangwoo-ya. What is this.”
“Hyung,” there is a smile in Sangwoo’s voice. “Can I speak first?” he requests.
Jaeyoung is willing to give him everything; Sangwoo must have known that fact at this point in their relationship. “Of course,”
He hears Sangwoo take a deep breath, before he starts, “First of all, I want to thank you for choosing to follow your dream.”
It is clear from his voice that he has rehearsed this speech several times, yet his nervousness still bleeds through. Jaeyoung doesn’t know what he has to be nervous about. There are many things going through Jaeyoung’s brain, and he cannot yet comprehend all of them, but there is one thing Jaeyoung knows for certain: he loves Sangwoo, and he will continue to.
Along with Jaeyoung’s inner turmoil, Sangwoo trudges on, “And I want to thank you for choosing me, even though it’s hard.” Jaeyoung hears him let out a shaky breath; Jaeyoung’s own feels like it has stopped since Sangwoo started talking. “This time, will you let me choose you?”
Jaeyoung can’t help it; a tear falls, then two. Then before he knows it he’s crying, because just as Jaeyoung had chosen Sangwoo, so many months ago, Sangwoo has chosen him, too.
Jaeyoung laughs breathlessly through his tears, “Sangwoo-ya,” he starts. Though his voice is shaky, his soul has never felt steadier. “Choosing you is the easiest thing I’ve ever done. Of course I will let you choose me in return."
Sangwoo breathes out, letting out a small laugh on his own, “I was so nervous,” he says, mirroring Jaeyoung’s words from what feels like a lifetime ago. Jaeyoung resonates with that sentiment to his bones.
After that, they stay quiet for a few moments, processing what just happened, anticipating a big change that’s about to occur to their lives, and listening to each other’s breathing. At some point, Jaeyoung has calmed down enough to remember, “What’s the second thing?”
It might be too out of context, because Sangwoo only replies with a confused(ly cute), “Huh?”
“You started your speech with ‘first of all’, what’s the second thing?”
“Oh. Second. Are you okay with having a roommate?”
Instead of answering, his question surprises Jaeyoung into a laugh. Ah, his Sangwoo. Jaeyoung loves him so much.
“Hyung.” he whines. And so cute, too.
“Sangwoo-ya, you already know the answer to that.” he answers in between lingering chuckles.
“Mmm.” Sangwoo replies draggingly, only half-way mollified.
“I love you, Sangwoo-ya.”
“I love Hyung, too, I guess.”
“Ahh, my beloved menace. I really wish I could hug you right now.”
At that admission, Sangwoo drops his feigned annoyance and huffs out a little laugh, “Tomorrow, Hyung.”