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Gellert doesn’t love Credence. He could never. But he keeps him close, keeps him for himself like the most decadent treat he doesn’t want to share. Not because he loves him, but because he can. Because he’s as far from the real thing as Gellert could ever get.
Credence with his long, dark hair that obsures his sharp cheekbones. Skin too pale from long days in the castle, long nights on the balcony overlooking the mountains. He stands nervous, on edge, like a kicked dog. He smells like phoenix ash in a way that burns Gellert’s nose. Makes him remember exactly who he is.
He’s not Albus. At least, not the Albus Gellert remembers, holds close to his heart. The boy with golden hair mused out of crystal blue eyes. Golden tan from the summer sun. A boy who bared himself with confidence, walked with the lightness of someone who knew exactly who he was. Who never had to dream of being anyone else but brazenly himself. A boy who smelled like lemon candy, the perfect mix of sour and sweet on Gellert’s tongue. Nothing like Credence at all.
Credence harbors darkness. From everyone who he ever looked up to turning their back on him, denying him. Cutting him down to nothing. He’s been trying to survive, just find someone to protect him. He yearns to make a home in another shadowed person, promising he won’t take up too much space. Gellert finds it all too easy to wrap him up around his finger. To pull him in and keep him loyal. It lacks thrill, lacks poetry.
It was a thrill when Albus denied Gellert. Made him chase him, persuade him. With a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders kept him guessing about exactly what he wanted, who he loved. Gellert knew he was the boy that had been praised by every professor, cherished by every classmate, been expected to move on and do great things. It made it all the more rewarding when Albus chose Gellert, when he stopped being so coy and finally let him know between murmured kisses as he pushed him down onto the bed that he loved him. Nothing like Credence at all.
Credence aims to please when getting fucked. He's quiet for it, whining for it. Begging and pleading with his hands tied behind his back. He needs someone to control him, soothe him with a hand around his cock as he cums. Hush in his ear just to keep him from crying out. He crawls into Gellert’s bed when the world won’t make sense. But that’s not how it used to feel.
Albus used to climb on top, squeeze Gellert at his wrists as he closed his eyes, threw his head back. Smiling the most electric grin that had Gellert’s frayed nerves feeling like lightning. He used to tease for it, shrugging with humored apathy at the very suggestion until Gellert had to appease him. He used to crawl into Gellert’s bed because the world made more sense when he did. Because they both knew that was how it was supposed to be, the two of them together. Nothing like Credence at all.
Credence caves to pressure. He looks to Gellert for approval, won’t speak unless spoken to. With his shaking voice and shaking breath and shaking hands making Gellert roll his eyes. He says yes when asked, no matter the question. He doesn’t ask for clarifications or explanations, he suffers in the unknown like it is better than being rude, being wrong. He stares off without making eye contact because it is easier than facing Gellert head on. And Gellert hates it.
Albus would fight him just to prove he could. Bark his contrarian opinions just to be heard. But he was right, always right. Always too clever for anyone else to keep up with. Gellert would delight in the complexity of his mind, the ferociousness of his passion. How Albus wouldn’t stand down until someone else would. Even if it meant screaming until Gellert was pulling him in, planting a kiss on his mouth just to feel his shoulders ease. To feel him melt enough to let it go. Nothing like Credence at all.
Credence doesn’t leave Gellert. He stays by his side, praises his views, concedes to his every move. He stays complicit and quiet and follows orders well. He acquiesces to Gellert’s worldview, his vision for the future. He doesn’t dream of anything bigger than what Gellert dreams of. He doesn’t dare think about a world without him leading. It makes Gellert miserable.
Albus left. He saw the future Gellert was laying for them and walked away. He took his things, his body, his laughter and found new places to go, new people to share dreams with. Dreams so much grander than Gellert’s. He looked into the depths of his own heart and unearthed his humility. And Gellert cursed him every day for it. But he never blamed him. Couldn’t blame him. Nothing like Credence at all.
At the end of the day, Gellert doesn’t love Credence. He loves who he is not. And that is good enough.