Chapter Text
There appeared to be a problem.
Cliopher did not yet know what exactly the problem was, since nobody had told him, but Conju was visibly nervous, and moreso, away from his Radiancy’s side, which he had occupied near constantly since his Radiancy had had his heart attack a few weeks ago.
The one member of his Radiancy’s household who currently lived in Cliopher’s own apartments appeared to be unaware that there was some problem in the first place; Ludvic had only recently started undergoing the purification rituals that were necessary for him now that he had touched his Radiancy’s bare skin to keep him alive, and so saw his Radiancy often, but though he was withdrawn and quite still, he would surely have mentioned anything worrying or unusual.
And, Cliopher noted, both Conju and Rhodin made an effort to not let on that anything was amiss when Ludvic was in the room.
They took less care not to appear worried when Ludvic could not see them but Cliopher could, and yet, still, no one had said anything, and Cliopher hadn’t been summoned to his Radiancy’s side in two days. Which, now that he was essentially running the government even more than ever before, was unusual by itself.
What worried him more, though, was the suspicion that his Radiancy had ordered them to keep whatever was happening from Cliopher. The thought stung. He knew, rationally, that his lord was allowed to keep secrets from him, just as he had not necessarily told his lord everything about his life, but the thought that there was something important happening, something warranting worry, while Cliopher was being deliberately kept in the dark—
It couldn’t be something pertaining to current political affairs. Those were entirely Cliopher’s prerogative at the moment, his lord would not hinder Cliopher’s work in that way. Therefore it must be something that had to do with, perhaps, the priest wizards, or his Radiancy’s own magic, or something even more personal, and in that area Cliopher was attentive and concerned not—or not only—as a statesman, but primarily as a friend.
Cliopher wondered if it had to do with Ludvic’s purification rituals; they had started, but Ludvic did not speak about them, as he did not speak about all too much currently, but that did not seem like a problem his friends would have to keep from him.
Cliopher also wondered, very very quietly, whether he had done something to lose his lord’s trust. He did not allow himself to dwell on that, especially as he knew it was deeply unlikely. Still, he did not wish to outright ask what was happening where he was clearly not invited into confidence.
He had no great talent for subtly probing for answers, and absolutely no desire to do so with his friends, and so he observed, and worried a little, and tried to trust in his friends to know what to handle in which way and that they would come to him if they really did need his help.
In the end, it was Rhodin who apparently lost patience with— well. Something or other, or maybe their lord, though for all his occasional amused insolence in private he had never disobeyed a direct order. But it was Rhodin who happened upon Cliopher outside his apartments, surely just now on the way down from his Radiancy’s, and something changed in his expression, and he grabbed Cliopher by the arm and told him, ”come with me, his Radiancy will not see reason,“ and steered him up to see his Radiancy.
And, truthfully, Cliopher did not at all try to resist.
When they arrived in the Imperial Apartments and made their way through the private quarters, they found Conju quietly leaving his Radiancy’s bedchamber, their lord’s personal guards clearly within. This was worrying, as it was only early afternoon, and for all that his Radiancy was still urged to rest and recuperate, he had been doing much better and spent most of his waking time sitting in various rooms and even working on matters of state to be passed down to Cliopher.
And working magic. And participating in Ludvic’s rituals, presumably.
”Conju,“ Cliopher called, and could not keep the worry from his voice. ”Is his Radiancy unwell?“
Conju looked up, his own resolve showing on his face, and exchanged a brief glance with Rhodin before he stared at Cliopher intently.
”Speak to him. Make him explain the problem to you.“
This was so blunt that Cliopher was taken aback for a second.
”So there is a problem.“
”There is,“ confirmed Rhodin, ”and he asked us not to involve you, even though we told him you would definitely notice, but I think he didn’t phrase it as a direct order as a concession to our friendship. We have also tried to nudge him into involving you himself, but his hesitation is… perhaps understandable.“
”Very well,“ said Cliopher. ”This is alarmingly vague. Anything I should know before I go in there?“
Conju and Rhodin exchanged another look, this time much longer, but whatever either of them might have wished to say, they clearly didn’t find an appropriate way to do so. ”We will come with you,“ Conju decided at last, and turned around to knock on the door again.
Conju stepped through first when the guards opened it, followed by Cliopher and Rhodin. His Radiancy was in bed, what looked like a hot towel over his face, the bed curtains not closed but loosely draped a little ways down, the room only dimly lit. He did not look up when they entered.
”Conju,“ his Radiancy said, and Cliopher was struck with how tired he sounded. ”I thought I’d told you to enjoy your evening.“
”So you did, my lord,“ said Conju, bowing. ”I happened to run into Cliopher on my way out.“
At that, his Radiancy used one hand to lift the towel away from his face, and his gaze found Cliopher. He made his obeisances alongside Rhodin, and when he looked up again, his Radiancy was still looking at him, much more alert than he had seemed a minute ago.
At length, his Radiancy said: ”And here I thought I told you both not to involve him.“
”If there is something that I can help with, I wish to be involved, my lord,“ said Cliopher before Conju or Rhodin could answer.
His Radiancy closed his eyes, and after a long moment breathed out steadily. Not in relaxation: there was tension in him, like pinpricks under his skin. If this had already been present when Cliopher saw him last a few days ago, he had hidden it well. Now it seemed he was too tired, or no longer cared to do so.
”Alright,“ he said quietly, ”alright. Help me sit up.“
Conju hurried forwards to rearrange the cushions, and Rhodin brought over three chairs from a storage room to place them beside the bed. This was clearly Conju’s domain as well, but he did not complain, all his attention fixed upon his Radiancy. Tentatively, Cliopher sat down on the chair closest to where his Radiancy sat, Rhodin next to him and finally Conju.
No one said anything for what felt like a long while. His Radiancy did not look directly at any of them. Then, he lifted his hand in a sweeping motion, casting the familiar Wall of Silence, but he twitched as he did so.
”My lord,“ said Rhodin, sounding pained, ”it is only Pikabe and Ato on duty. You will have to have guards in the room either way when it happens, the discussion of it is hardly worse.“
”I have not yet decided whether to do it at all,“ said his Radiancy, his voice hard, but immediately deflated again. He tilted his head in silent apology, and Rhodin lowered his own in acknowledgement.
Somewhat belatedly, Cliopher remembered that Rhodin had a small gift at magic, and that if the problem was magical in nature, or exacerbated by his Radiancy himself using magic, Rhodin could likely sense it.
”My lord,“ Cliopher said, and at the way his Radiancy’s eyes snapped to him he was already determined to see through whatever would come, ”please explain what pains you, so that I may help. I spent the past few days fearing complications from your heart attack, but that isn’t correct, is it?“
His Radiancy held his gaze for a long moment, then visibly gathered himself.
”It isn’t,“ his Radiancy said. ”I am recovering well. Well enough, in fact, that I could stave off the effect of this… particular problem long enough to come up with a different solution than the required one.“
Cliopher felt suddenly cold. ”This is about the taboo.“
”It is.“
”But… Ludvic has started the purifications, has he not? Is that not working after all?“
”It will,“ said his Radiancy, voice cold and determined. ”I will make it work. But the web of Schooled magic is fighting me on my decision, so entrenched in tradition and in tangles of cause and effect that are difficult to all keep in view, it is as if… as if I am tugging on tangled string, without knowing how many threads are even hidden in the mess.“
Cliopher considered this for a moment.
”So what do you need to make it work, my lord?“
His Radiancy sighed deeply, looking over at Rhodin and Conju, but no help seemed to be forthcoming.
”There is a ritual,“ he said at last. „It is archaic and somewhat tasteless, but its purpose is the fortification of existing magical ability to temporarily lend a stability to ones workings which the magician in question might not normally reach. I believe there was a time that it was very popular among the priest wizards. Now, of course…“ Here his Radiancy hesitated. ”No matter. I do believe that I have them well in hand. But as the side of the Schooled magic is what is needed here, and the control I need seems ever more elusive the longer this problem goes on, I have considered— employing this— this method.“
It was highly unusual for his Radiancy to hesitate in his words, or indeed to look so deeply uncomfortable as he did now. Cliopher regarded him steadily, tamping down on his own worry.
”You believe I could help you with this ritual, my lord? I have no magical ability.“
”Indeed. You would not ordinarily be the first choice for something like this. The reason I would rather have you, no matter how much I would prefer not to do it at all, is entirely my own personal fault.“
Rhodin said to Cliopher: ”I offered to do it. Of course I did. I would most likely even be able to tell during whether it was working or not.“
”And I appreciate the offer,“ his Radiancy said, but he sounded deeply sarcastic. ”As do I yours, Conju, you do not have to start going on about it again.“
Conju looked only mildly chagrined. ”I have done it before, my lord, and I will take upon myself whatever consequences it will result in.“
His Radiancy sighed deeply. ”Of course you would. You all would.“ Then, so quietly Cliopher was unsure if they were even meant to hear: ”I dearly wish you wouldn’t.“
Conju made a noise of protest, but Cliopher suddenly connected the dots between the magical ritual meant to strengthen one’s control over the Schooled magic, and Conju’s childhood friend Terec, who had tried his hardest to hide his gift for wild magic and master the Schooled magic, to be able to stay at the Imperial court, and, as this had proven a hopeless endeavour, had eventually stolen away in the night, leaving Conju behind.
”What about Commander Omo himself?“ Cliopher asked.
”Ludvic would be the obvious choice, you are correct,“ said his Radiancy. ”But I do not wish to ask him.“
”The ritual involves a sacrifice?“
”No.“ His Radiancy’s voice was hard, and so was his gaze where it held Cliopher’s. „I will not allow it to. I would rather let all this run its course.“
This elicited hastily stifled objections from Conju and Rhodin both.
Cliopher hesitated, but decided to press on. ”You know that Ludvic would do whatever was necessary to help you, my lord. As would all of us.“
”I know,“ said his Radiancy. ”Which is exactly why I will not ask this of him. He already saved my life once. In his current emotional state, I fear he would not regard his own safety at all.“
Cliopher hesitated again, longer this time. The lack of details was uncomfortable, but clearly his Radiancy had to work his way up to actually explaining anything of concrete substance. What he could understand, though, was a person’s worry for their friends.
”So you believe that I would be best able to… regard my own safety, during this ritual?“
”You are demonstrably the person in my household most willing to hold me to task and push back against me when necessary, my dear Cliopher,“ said his Radiancy, this time with clear amusement. Cliopher couldn’t help smiling back, though somewhat bashfully.
His Radiancy continued, ”I was ready to dismiss this method altogether, but was pointedly reminded not only of your devotion, but of my own decision to name you Hands of the Emperor, a position which you have since fulfilled constantly and admirably. Which is exactly why it is my own personal fault that you are the prime candidate to fulfil the role which is needed besides my own. You have been a conduit for hundreds of magically significant rituals at this point. My magic… knows you, I know you.“
His Radiancy broke off, closed his eyes, breathed deeply. He looked as if he would like to be much more nervous and tense about the situation, but was too exhausted for it.
”I also would choose you out of all my friends for entirely personal and selfish reasons, and for the same reasons would prefer to never speak of any of this again, let alone do it. But I was also reminded that I would not do anyone who cares for me any favours if I didn’t explore all available possibilities.“
Cliopher took in a sharp breath, suddenly comprehending.
”The problem is hurting you. Significantly.“
His Radiancy nodded.
”Will it kill you?“
A short hesitation. ”With time. Yes.“
”Unacceptable.“ Cliopher heard the fire in his voice and almost flinched from himself. To be speaking in such a tone to his lord. ”I will do what you need from me, no matter the difficulties. What do I need to do to prepare for the ritual? How soon can it take place?“
His Radiancy seemed taken aback, then his face softened with both affection and sadness.
”I told you, my lord, that this would be his reaction,“ said Rhodin, which seemed greatly daring, but when Cliopher looked over to him Rhodin was smiling slightly. Conju seemed both worried and relieved at once.
His Radiancy was still hesitant. ”You do not even know what the ritual entails.“
”Does it matter?“
His Radiancy actually seemed taken aback.
”You have laid out that you do not wish any of us to die or get hurt during whatever procedure will be necessary,“ Cliopher continued. ”You have also laid out that I am most used to the magics that will be involved, and so most suited to the task, short of Ludvic himself, whom you do not wish to ask. I would do this for Ludvic. I would do it for you. If I can help my friends I will gladly do it, and if I can save your life, there is not even a question.“
He noticed that he had not addressed his lord properly even once in the past few minutes, but found that for once he did not exactly care.
His Radiancy stared at him, his eyes shining, too many emotions on his face for Cliopher to quantify.
”Oh, my dear Kip,“ he said, voice unbearably soft. ”You truly are a marvel.“
He closed his eyes, a single tear falling down his cheek, and Cliopher felt his hand twitch and held back with an effort.
His Radiancy took a deep breath. Then another. His hands shook just a little, and he was clearly agitated, but he took long minutes to sit there, eyes closed.
Cliopher regarded him freely, trying to prepare himself for the task before him. Mostly he revelled in the quiet companionship of simply sitting there with his friends. He suddenly wished fiercely that Ludvic was with them, too, which led him back to wondering what difficult things this magical procedure would entail that his Radiancy had kept the possibility from him and did not wish to even suggest it to Ludvic at all. It was true that their friend’s emotional state was delicate at the moment, but Cliopher did not think that Ludvic had entirely lost sight of his duty or of his friendship, and where the two might come in conflict.
Finally his Radiancy opened his eyes again. He regarded Cliopher steadily, almost calmly. Cliopher held his gaze. He would willingly suffer again the headache that could come with it, but his Radiancy seemed to keep tight control on himself this time.
It took another few minutes for his Radiancy to breathe deeply once more, and visibly relax. His eyes fell from Cliopher’s. Cliopher could not shake the feeling that it looked just a little too close to defeat.
”Very well,“ his Radiancy said, turning his head to Conju and Rhodin. ”Conju, please see to it that everything is prepared. Rhodin… I am aware that this is disrupting your carefully crafted guard routines, and equally aware that any attempt of mine to get rid of the guard entirely will be met with resistance—”
Rhodin evidently could not suppress his noise of protest, even though it interrupted his Radiancy.
His Radiancy smiled slightly. ”Just so. I would appreciate if it was you in the room with us during the… proceedings… rather than some of the other guards.“
Cliopher was glad then that his Radiancy had pulled up a Wall of Silence earlier. He knew that this statement did not mean that he did not trust the rest of his personal guard, rather that he valued Rhodin not only as a guard but as a personal friend, but it was good that the others could not hear and so had no chance to misunderstand and assume some kind of failure in the execution of their duties.
Rhodin saluted sharply, but hesitated in getting up. ”There are two guards in the room with you at all times, my lord.“
”Oh, I am very aware,“ his Radiancy said, sardonically. ”You don’t think there could be an exception made this once?“
Rhodin was clearly uncomfortable with the idea, but not for the reason Cliopher assumed, as he learned when Rhodin continued: ”If I may, my lord, I believe it would be good to make Ludvic aware of what will take place. He would gladly assume his role as the second guard in the room for the period of the… ritual.“
His Radiancy looked closed off again. ”Do you recall how I did not wish to burden him with the knowledge of this decision at all?“
Rhodin looked deeply sympathetic. Nevertheless he continued: ”I believe it would do him more harm to be excluded from this, my lord. Ludvic should know that something is happening. To also know that his— his friends are making these efforts in order to protect him can only be good for him in the long run.“
His Radiancy relaxed again slightly, and even pulled up the tiniest of smiles from somewhere. ”Oh well. There is no getting rid of you, is there?“
”Not a chance, my lord,“ said Rhodin, himself smiling. ”Not any of us.“
Conju nodded decisively, drawing his Radiancy’s attention to him. ”Conju,“ he said, then hesitated. ”I deeply appreciate your assistance in the preparations, and your first hand knowledge you so graciously provided, but you need not stay as well.“
”I am staying, my lord,“ said Conju, so insistently it shocked Cliopher a little.
His Radiancy softened his voice. ”You do not need to. This will be difficult enough.“
”Yes, my lord,“ said Conju. ”And so, you should be in the presence of…“
He did not finish, but they all heard it anyways.
His Radiancy nodded at Conju, then looked back to Cliopher, fully determined now. ”Today, then. Before I lose my nerve. But Kip… we can stop it at any time. I will deal with it. This is not an order or an obligation, and I do not wish for you to view it as such.“
Cliopher nodded slowly. ”I will heed your wish, my lord,“ he said, even though he knew that there was precious little his lord could ask of him that he would be unwilling to do.
”Very well,“ repeated his Radiancy. ”Rhodin… bring me Ludvic. I shall explain the matter to him. Kip… you might tell your own household not to expect you back for quite some time, if this goes well, possibly… maybe not even until the morning. Later, though, please stay for now, we should… there are details to discuss.“
”Yes, my lord,“ said Cliopher, and noted his Radiancy closing his eyes briefly before he carried on.
”Conju, preparations. Optimistically. I shall have to do some magical preparations of my own as well, and I ask that you offer Kip any assistance he might need.“
”Of course, my lord,“ said Conju. ”I shall have a bed made up in one of the other rooms.“
It seemed innocuous enough, what with his Radiancy having already told Cliopher he might be expected to stay until morning, but the way he said it brought Cliopher up short.
His Radiancy nodded absently, thoughts elsewhere, then sharply shook his head.
”No. Not— no.“ He hesitated, went still for several seconds, and then several more, while Cliopher watched him. His Radiancy was staring at the wall on the far side of the room.
”No,“ he repeated at last. ”Here. It should be here.“
Conju waited another moment, eyes flitting between his Radiancy and Cliopher, then he nodded. ”As you wish, my lord.“
Rhodin and Conju left, removing their chairs, to do as they were bid. Cliopher waited as they stepped through the Wall of Silence—the spell held, although Cliopher could see his Radiancy tense just slightly, blinking rapidly, twice, then once more.
He did not look at Cliopher.
After the silence had stretched for a few minutes, Cliopher said, tentatively, ”My lord…“
His Radiancy twitched in a way that was clearly a suppressed flinch.
So it was a situation such as this. Cliopher steeled his resolve.
”Tor.“
At this, his Radiancy finally looked at him again, eyes refocusing. Then his features slowly melted into a soft expression.
”Oh, Kip. You really should ask for more details before agreeing to participate in obscure magical rituals.“
This made Cliopher smile. ”You are very correct. Anyone else I certainly would question exhaustively.“
”Not me?“
”No. It is you.“
His Radiancy shook his head. ”Unwise, Kip. I have entrusted my government to you. You should question my motivations.“
”This is personal, not governmental. Besides that, it is also magical, and you know about these things better than I do. I believe you when you say that whatever ritual you have in mind is the only option accessible to us.“
”Hm.“ His Radiancy took a deep breath. ”I will have to tell you anyways. Ask me about it, Kip. Ask any questions you can think of. I apologise that I cannot bring myself to be more forthright…“
”It is quite alright, my lord,“ said Cliopher, soothing.
”Ah,“ his Radiancy began, but stopped. There seemed to be no more words forthcoming.
And so Cliopher settled into a loose approximation of his work mode, and thought through what he had learned.
There was the problem with the Schooled magic. There was his Radiancy keeping it at bay, and needing support in resolving it. There was the magical ritual that would help. There was Cliopher himself, a conduit for his lord’s magic for centuries now, who would be a good choice for the mysterious role of the second person the ritual required.
Then there was the way his Radiancy had talked around the actual issue this entire time, and, perhaps even more tellingly, the way Rhodin and Conju had both done the same.
There was the fact that his Radiancy had kept the existence of a problem from him at all, and the existence of a potential solution which would involve him, and the way he had said he would rather let proceedings run their course than try to resolve them even while it would mean pain and death—
Cliopher shook himself.
”You meant to never tell me about this ritual.“
”True,“ admitted his Radiancy, not easily, but willingly, it seemed. ”I did not mean to subject you to the choice of it.“
Cliopher thought this over for a few seconds.
”Yet you seem confident that it will not kill me.“
”It will not. I will not allow it to.“ A pause. ”I would rather—”
”So you’ve said,“ Cliopher interrupted. ”I would rather you never consider that possibility ever again. I will not allow it to come to pass.“
His Radiancy smiled at him. ”So decisive. It really is my luck that you are firmly on my side.“
”So it is.“ Cliopher smiled back. ”Will the ritual cause me significant harm, then?“
”No. I… I cannot promise it will be completely painless. I will do my utmost to mitigate any magical ill effects.“ Another hesitation. ”Personally, though…“
This, Cliopher thought at the ongoing hesitation, was the crux of the matter. „You considered personal reasons that might cause my involvement in the ritual to be objectionable.“
”Anyone’s involvement. But yes. Also yours in particular.“
”Personal reasons of mine, or of yours?“
”…Both.“ It sounded like a great thing to admit. ”Yours, of course, are of actual consequence in this consideration.“
Something in Cliopher snapped. ”Why would your own worries or comfort be inconsequential to me?“
”Because my own apprehensions come down to simple fear of the no longer familiar. My apprehensions on your behalf, on the other hand, involve variables on which I do not know your opinions and which could potentially make this a much greater sacrifice for you than it could ever be for me, not to mention the possibility of coercion.“
Cliopher sat with that for a little while. His lord’s voice was heated, his eyes on Cliopher’s, his agitation clearer than it had been all evening.
Cliopher thought back through that short outburst, to what his Radiancy had admitted about his own fear. Thought further back through the conversation, to the places where his Radiancy and Conju and Rhodin had steered away from details and specifics. Thought back to what he had experienced of the Late Astandalan court, as low ranked as he had been, what he had heard of the peculiarities and tendencies of the noble ranks, what even more he had learned of other periods of Imperial history.
The picture that formed was at once ludicrous and perfectly understandable as something that would give his Radiancy pause in the consideration whether to ask him, Cliopher, for his assistance to fulfil it.
”The ritual,“ Cliopher began. ”It is supposed to strengthen your grip on the Schooled magic.“
They had established this long before, but his Radiancy nodded.
Something in his demeanour made Cliopher suddenly sure. ”It is a ritual of fornication.“
That shocked a laugh out of his Radiancy, a spark of amusement in his eyes when they met Cliopher’s again. "Oh, oh, my dear Kip, always so forthright and proper. Yes, I’m afraid you are entirely correct.“
Something seemed to have opened within his lord’s manner, so Cliopher sat back and waited.
”Yes. You once again demonstrate your perspicacity. It’s a sex ritual, and I dearly hope that whoever came up with it was simply—exceedingly amorous—instead of motivated by unforgivable views of power and control, but apparently it works, and all my research suggests that it would also work in this specific case, even while no accounts seem to exist that might explain why exactly it works in the first place. It is deeply frustrating. If I had more time I might find more explanation on the topic, or perhaps more on how to modify or avoid it. Aurelius Magnus was a great wizard; if he knew of the ritual… but as it stands it seems to be the last available option. No matter how distasteful I find it.“
He was not at all serene, and could no longer meet Cliopher’s eyes.
”So. What are your thoughts?“
Cliopher considered this. ”You didn’t intend to tell me about this. You would rather have died than have sex with me?“
”That—!“ His Radiancy narrowed his eyes at Cliopher. ”You are teasing me.“
Cliopher smiled, didn’t lower his own gaze. ”Only a little.“
”Is this retribution for the Lord Chancellor wardrobe?“
”I’m sure I would not dare, my lord.“
His Radiancy stared at him for a moment, then broke down into helpless laughter, almost giggling, bending over and burying his face in his hands. Cliopher ached to lay his hand on his shoulder, to comfort him, to share in the absurdity of this situation. He grasped his own hands in his lap.
It took a few minutes for his Radiancy to calm down again. It pleased Cliopher to have finally caused this break in the tension his lord carried within.
Finally his lord looked up and brushed moisture from his eyes. He was smiling, just a little.
”My dear Kip. You seem remarkably unbothered.“
Cliopher inclined his head. ”I am unbothered. I am also still willing to do it.“
”Incredible. Did you think this through at all? You will have to touch me."
”It will not be a hardship to touch you,“ said Cliopher, quietly and intently. He found and held his lord’s gaze.
Tor swallowed once, stared back.
”You are not alarmed by the… the rest of the physical aspect it will involve?“
Cliopher gave a shrug, feeling surprisingly careless. ”I have never particularly sought it out. I have also never been particularly opposed. And if I can save your life by it? There are more things I would do.“
They both decided not to interrogate that statement.
Cliopher continued: "What about the taboos against touching you?“
”The course of the ritual will mitigate its effects, possibly even entirely. Only for its duration, I assume, and it might… it might take a little time until I can suppress them enough that it is as if they didn’t exist. Kip… I might hurt you. I might leave permanent marks on you.“
”I would wear them with honour.“
Tor stared at him, his eyes filling with tears again. Something complicated happened to his face, too fast for Cliopher to parse.
”Kip… oh, Kip. I…“ He swallowed. ”Are you sure, are you absolutely sure that you do not mind this? If at any point you change your mind, do not hesitate to tell me. I need to be sure that you will tell me. I will command you if I have to.“
Cliopher leaned forward, intently, his face far closer to Tor’s than would ordinarily be allowed. He spoke firmly. ”I am absolutely sure. I do not mind this, and I shall be happy to do it. I promise that, should I change my mind, I will make you aware. I also inform you now that I do not anticipate it to become necessary.“
He hesitated then, a niggling doubt at the back of his mind taking form.
”I admit that I am much more concerned about your role in it.“
Tor seemed entirely puzzled by this. ”How do you mean?“
”You will die if the ritual does not work, or if you do not go through with it. You said so yourself. Correct?“
Tor looked shifty again. ”Yes. But, Kip, I promise—”
”I am not concerned for myself,“ Cliopher bit out. ”I am concerned for you. Your own choice in the matter seems to me entirely taken away, as much as earlier this afternoon you evidently thought you had already made it.“
Tor looked shocked for a second, then started quietly laughing. For once, Cliopher did not appreciate it.
Tor calmed again quickly. ”Kip. Cliopher. I promise there is no cause for concern. I am entirely content to do this with you, even… even delighted. The circumstances are deeply unfortunate. The, well… the act itself is… not.“
”You admitted to fear of the no longer familiar.“
”So I did. I will not deny that this will be… tremendous. New all over again. I have not been touched in a thousand years, Kip. I am about to make myself intensely vulnerable. But I am glad to put myself into your hands for it.“
Cliopher vividly imagined reaching out, laying his hand against the side of that beloved face, moving his thumb over the soft curve of a cheek. He gripped his hands tightly together.
It took a few moments before he could find his voice again. ”Alright,“ he said, quietly, as Tor had earlier.
Tor nodded back at him. ”Alright.“
Cliopher’s shuddering inhale broke the moment. They both gathered themselves, by necessity, and Cliopher watched his Tor retreat back behind the Serenity, the personage who knew this enormous responsibility, the preparations that were still to be made.
His Radiancy got up from the bed. Cliopher himself followed suit and moved his chair back, and then was distracted by his Radiancy grabbing a soft looking overrobe from where it waited on a tray. He put it on with the slight hesitation of one long unaccustomed to dressing himself. For a long moment, Cliopher longed to step in and help, settle the robe properly over his lord’s shoulders, but he would not know how to move to avoid an accidental touch.
Then again, with what they were about to do—
Cliopher shook himself.
”Then,“ said his Radiancy, voice returned to its customary mildness, ”I will go ahead with my preparations. Send someone to warn your household of your absence in your own words, though Conju will already have organised the particulars. We shall meet again here once I am sure that all conditions for the magical side of things are met.“
His Radiancy turned to go, paused, then gave Cliopher what could almost be a smug smile. ”Cliopher. Before you arrived to once again save me from myself, I had just finished a delightful stay in the Imperial Baths. You should try it.“
This, of all things, made Cliopher suddenly feel faint. ”You mean… I…“
”What we are about to do falls so far outside the bounds of normal etiquette that the usual propriety really does not matter. Wait for Conju if you like, he will show you around. Enjoy. I will…“ His voice softened. ”I will see you later.“
With that he swept from the room, his guards dutifully following.