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Mob wakes up, and immediately his heart aches for the garden.
He tells his body to get up – he needs to get going – but it betrays him, sending him falling back on the futon.
“Shigeo!” A green ball shouts above him. “Ritsu! He’s awake!”
“Nii-chan.” Someone rushes over and kneels by his side. “Please don’t strain yourself.”
The insides of his mouth are dry and raspy, but still, he says, “Ritsu. I need to find Cas…”
“Who’s Cas?”
“My cat.”
Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Mob can see Ritsu’s face divided between worry and confusion.
“Nii-chan, you don’t have a cat,” his brother informs him, and Mob nods.
“That’s why I need to find her.”
Mob feels terrible, like his entire body just took a beating. He tries to sit up again but can’t force his arms to help. Dimple floats closer to say, “Your body is weak. You’ve been bedridden for days now, kid.”
“Three days,” Ritsu adds.
“I have?”
Dimple puts a small hand on Mob’s forehead. “At least your fever is gone.”
“Do you- do you remember what happened?” Ritsu asks. He pulls the blankets tighter around him.
Mob tries to pierce through the fog in his mind to travel back to his last memory. Shou in their living room, the TV had been loud-
“I was talking to Shou, he… We made a bet. Or he made a bet and I was curious-”
Ritsu scowls. “That was so reckless-”
“What did you see, Shigeo?” Dimple asks, and there’s no mistaking the curiosity in his voice.
It’s like trying to remember a dream by piecing together sensations and lingering glimpses. Mob knows his face is getting hot as he remembers, but he can’t help it and hopes the others will assume it’s just a bit of fever.
“I think-” He says, clearing his throat when his voice fails. “I think I really saw the future.”
“Called it!” Dimple does a celebratory twirl. “Qi depletion.”
“Is that why I’m like this?”
Dimple laughs. “Kid, you made your conscience time travel. What did you expect to happen?”
Ritsu nervously pours him water and helps him drink it. “Maybe you hallucinated, because of the fever.”
“Maybe…” Mobs says but dismisses the notion as the images take form in his mind. The garden had smells, colors, sense of touch. Mob’s imagination is not creative enough to dream up this minutia of details, he doesn’t think.
“I’ll call Mom and Dad, let them know you’re awake. Don’t move.”
Ritsu leaves, not without taking a good look at him from the door first.
Dimple floats to his eye level.
“Soooooo…”
“So,” Mob replies.
“Did you see the end of the world or what?”
“Should I have?” Mob conjures up the images in his head, trying to find something that would look like that. “I think I just saw glimpses of the lives of my friends.”
“That’s it?!” Dimple raises an eyebrow at him. “No big bad, no ass-kicking?”
“Sorry.”
“Gee, don’t apologize, Shigeo. Just, be careful, alright?” Dimple pets his hair. “This stuff is dangerous, as you can see. I wouldn’t try pulling that again if I were you.”
Mob nods. “Okay. You’re right.”
His cellphone is charging close enough for Mob to be able to reach it without having to leave the futon. When he opens the messaging app, the first name on the screen makes him giddy.
Teru.
Teru Teru Teru. Mob feels like he might float away. He has to calm himself before reading the new messages.
Teru
Hey wanna come over this weekend and binge watch haikyuu?
Or we can watch something else too
I’m going to bed, let me know tomorrow 💖
Hey! Good morning! 💖 ☀️
About that haikyuu marathon 🏃
We can get some pizza, some pepsi (the normal one this time, don’t worry!!)
Can you let me know today?
You’re probably busy with school stuff, I don’t want to get in the way
Just a bit worried since you always reply?
I guess I’m a mom like that AHEAHeahaHAH
So your brother picked up your phone and told me you got sick!(!!) I hope it’s not too bad? Let me know if you’d like some company
Unless you don’t feel like it, which is totally fine!
I make a mean ochazuke, not to brag
I could bring some over
Your brother is keeping me up to date. I’m starting to get worried here
I miss you
Please get well soon!
The flood of texts ends with several other messages marked as “deleted by the sender”. Mob wonders if Teru would tell him what they were about if he asked.
He feels high on his own excitement. Teru so anxious and worried about him has an entirely different meaning today, and Mob can’t wait another second to see him.
With shaky fingers, he types:
Shigeo
Hello, Hanazawa-kun!
I’m well now and my fever is gone.
Thank you for your concern and kind messages.
Are you free to visit? I’m afraid I’m not in the best condition to leave the house.
Dimple takes a peek at the screen. “Who’re you texting over there?”
Mob can’t hide his smile. “Teru- I mean, Hanazawa-kun. I want to tell him face to face.”
“Tell him what?” Mob’s expression must give him away since only a moment later Dimple says, “Oooh, no no no. That’s a terrible idea. You shouldn’t tell him about the future.”
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t watch a lot of time-travel sci-fi, huh?” Dimple sighs, rubbing his forehead like he has a headache. “Let’s put it this way: telling a guy that he’s going to die in a car crash can either ensure that he’ll go live in the mountains in safety for the rest of his life, OR cause him to die in a car crash in that mountain, something that could have been avoided if he hadn’t gone to said mountain in the first place.”
Mob thinks of the implications. “I see. Knowledge of the event could ensure its fate, instead of avoiding it.”
“And vice-versa.” Dimple nods. “Like, telling someone they’re supposed to fall in love with someone else will make them hyperaware of it, will get them to stress over something that should come naturally. They might not-”
“They might not even fall in love…” Cold dread settles in his spine as Mob’s sluggish mind wraps around this new information. “How do I know which scenario this is?”
“I guess you don’t.” His friend shrugs. He floats towards the window. “I’ll tell Reigen you’re up.”
Mob hurries to unlock his phone again, but it's too late to delete the messages.
Teru
Kageyama-kun!!
OMG I’ve been so worried I’m so happy you’re well again!!
Of course I’m free! I can be there in half an hour
Mob types a reply but the string of letters his anxious fingers hit make no sense. Before he can think better of it, he taps on the phone icon.
There are only two rings before the call is answered.
“Teru-” He says, and immediately backtracks. “Aaaaah, Hanazawa-kun… Hi. Hello.”
“Kageyama-kun.” Teru’s voice is so clear on the line that it takes Mob by surprise – he’s not expecting it to feel so real. “Your voice…”
“Oh, I suppose it’s a bit raspy?” Mob clears his throat, hoping he doesn’t sound too bad.
“How- how are you feeling?”
“I’m calling to ask you to disregard that last message, Hanazawa-kun. I’m still not feeling so well after all.”
“Oh, right. Of course. Sure. You should rest.”
Hearing the worry in Teru’s voice feels reassuring. Mob thinks he might be on to something after all, but before he can continue, Ritsu comes in holding a tray. “Who’s that?”
“Teru-”
Ritsu unceremoniously takes the phone from his hand and hits the speaker option. “Hanazawa, my brother needs to rest. Stop calling.”
“Ritsu! I called him.”
Teru only laughs, however. “If you texted me updates faster I wouldn’t have to keep calling, little brother.”
“He literally woke up 10 minutes ago. I was going to text you later.”
Mob retrieves the phone, careful not to end the call with his wobbly fingers. “I’ll message you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay. Please rest and drink lots of fluids,” Teru says it like he means it, like Mob drinking fluids is important to him. Mob’s insides melt a little. “By the way, little brother, Suzuki asked me to ask you to unblock him.”
“No,” is Ritsu’s curt reply as he helps Mob sit up.
“Right…” Teru sighs. “Bye, Kageyama-kun.”
“Bye,” Not Teru, not Teru, not- “Hanazawa-kun.”
Not a second after the call ends, Ritsu replaces the cell phone with a bowl of soup in Mob’s hands.
“What’s this about blocking Suzuki-kun?” Mob asks and knows it can’t be good when his brother crosses his arms.
“I’m not in the mood to deal with him after his little bet.”
“You’re not talking to him?”
“No.”
“Ritsu! He probably misses you a lot. Don’t you miss him?”
In a very typical mad-Ritsu fashion, his brother looks away with a huff. “That’s neither here nor there.”
“Well, I don’t blame him for this. It wasn’t his fault,” Mob tells him in his best ‘big-brother-is-speaking-learn-his-wisdom’ voice. “There was no way to know it’d end up like this.”
Ritsu doesn’t reply, but Mob isn’t expecting him to, can only hope he’ll think about it later on.
The flavor of the soup is mild so he’s able to eat the entire bowl without any nausea. He manages to go to the bathroom, but they agree that Mob should rest until nightfall.
Mob keeps scrolling up and down his chat history with Teru where they maintained their dynamics of Mob answering with a one-liner every four texts from his friend. He pauses at every sparkling heart emoji Teru is such a fan of, their presence taking on a whole different meaning, and wonders if Teru’s already had feelings for him when he sent them.
He turns to his brother, who is leaning back against a wall reading a book. “Was Te- Hanazawa-kun calling you a lot?”
Ritsu doesn’t look up as he answers, “He was worried about you.”
Mob can feel his eyes sparkle. “He was? What did he say?”
Ritsu groans like he’s in pain.
*****
Mob’s Ritsu-imposed rest the next day consists of catching up with Dimple and typing on his phone “how do I know if a boy likes me” to varying degrees of embarrassing results.
Dimple’s temporal paradox sits heavy on his mind, but not enough to stop him from seeing Teru’s warm affection in a new light.
Just a few days ago, choosing a profession that he’d have to stick to for the rest of his life had been weighing on him to the point of stress, the decision seeming like the most important one of his life.
It feels inconsequential now. Whatever it is he ends up choosing, his future house was (will be) quite nice and spacious, a step up even from his parents’ already nice house. He was (will be) clearly doing okay, which leads him to far more pressing questions, like:
How does he get together with Teru? How does he get from being a boy in pajamas to being the man Hanazawa Teruki kisses and touches and-
Teru
his highness has granted me permission to visit
can I come over?
Mob can hardly breathe as excitement, anxiety, giddiness, and affection hit him like several punches to the chest.
Shigeo
Hello, Hanazawa-kun.
If you’re free, it’d be nice to see you.
=)
Teru
💖💖💖
see you after school 🎉
His body feels a lot stronger since yesterday, but his head still spins as he gets up too fast. Showering suddenly feels very important, and Mob makes sure to scrub his skin from the sweat and the smell of sickness. He brushes his teeth again for good measure before picking out clothes that are not pajamas but are still comfortable to wear at home.
It’s still an hour to go but he lets a window open to air out the room. He’s not really sure what to do with himself after reading too many blogs about boys and crushes and boys with crushes. He feels like he might not be ready for it, but he needs to see Teru, needs to gauge with his own two eyes the extent of his friend’s possible feelings.
Teru’s feelings for him.
Mob’s mind glides back to a memory they are yet to share together. They’re older, maybe late 20s, and it’s a bright afternoon.
Their garden was filled with splendorous green and wild summer flowers grown with devotion and hard work. He doesn’t know the names of plants yet, but he will, one day, on this day.
Older Mob carefully potted saplings when a voice said from behind him, “What is she doing over there? Is she peeing?”
He looks around and spots a black cat with white spots smelling azaleas.
"Cas is too much of a lady to pee on the grass."
“Why am I not surprised?” Teru let out a long-suffering sigh that sounded too affectionate to be truly exasperated.
Mob joined Teru on the porch, who immediately opened his arms to make room for him to lie down on the lounger, their bodies pressed close. Slotting together, Mob rested his head against Teru’s neck, the perfect place to relax, and got a strong arm encircling his waist.
Cas jumped up, climbing over Teru to gracefully lie down on his thighs.
“I now have a kitten and a cat, all at once? How am I supposed to read my book over here?”
Mob giggled, and hugged him sideways. “You’ve been chosen by the cat. You can no longer move.”
Teru sighed, sounding happier than any human being has any right to be. “I guess this is my life now.”
“You had a ‘good run’, as people say.”
“Oh, how blessed I am to receive the cat’s favor.”
Mob’s chest filled with genuine happiness as he laughed. Teru turned to him to kiss his forehead-
“Kageyama-kun…”
The garden is gone and Mob is in his chilly room, curled up in a ball on his futon as a 17-year-old Teru stares at him from the window.
“Hanazawa-kun!”
“Don’t get up, don’t get up. I can let myself in,” Teru is quick to say, entering through the window and taking off his shoes.
Self-conscious, Mob wipes the side of his mouth and hopes his hair isn’t too messy. “I’m sorry, I must have fallen asleep.”
“You’re pretty beat, huh?” Closing the window, Teru brings the heater closer to the futon. “Thank god you’re finally awake! Ritsu wouldn’t let me come over to check up on you.”
It’s a natural move. Teru sits in front of him and Mob reaches forward, encircling him with his arms. It’s not the first time they have hugged, but it’s the first that Mob has initiated. Thankfully, for his poor heart, Teru doesn’t hesitate to hold him back, getting those firm arms to pull him impossibly closer until there’s no space between them.
Ah yes. This, this right here, this thing, this… is everything Mob has ever wanted and didn’t know he could have.
Teru reluctantly separates them and it takes Mob’s groggy mind a few seconds to remember it’s not socially acceptable to half sit on the lap of a boy who doesn’t know he’s your future husband yet.
Mob moves back while watching Teru’s face carefully, looking for any sign, any shift of expression that would indicate he’s developed feelings for him. To Mob’s consternation, Teru’s face is the same as always with his affectionate friendly smile and flushed red cheeks.
Hurry up and fall in love with me, Mob begs in his head.
“I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your messages,” is what he says instead.
Teru’s smile is warm, as it always is. “Kageyama-kun, you were unconscious and running a fever. Of course, I don’t blame you for that.”
“I’d like to have the anime marathon, if that’s still possible?”
“Absolutely. I wouldn’t do it alone.” For some reason, Teru scratches the back of his neck, like he’s embarrassed to admit it. “It’s pretty lonely without you, y’know?”
If it’s up to Mob, those words will never be spoken by Hanazawa Teruki again. “I should come over soon, then.”
There’s a slightly inebriating energy between them, something that has been there for some time but that Mob can finally touch. He thinks back on the many confusing tips he read that morning, trying to pick one that could help him read his best friend’s behavior.
Does he like me? Sign #6: His toes!
Think of it this way: The body has its own language and gives off unconscious signs of how we’re truly feeling. If a guy has his toes pointed towards you, experts say it might mean he’s attracted to you!
He looks at Teru’s toes pointed to the walls as their owner sits cross-legged.
…What does that mean, in this case?
“Suzuki told me about the bet,” Teru says, leaning back with his hands on the floor.
Mob gulps, feeling where this is going. “You want to know if I saw the future.”
“Did you?”
“I think so.”
“That’s incredible,” Teru declares with stars in his eyes. Mob has to double-check that the furniture hasn’t started levitating from his own elation. “As expected from Kageyama-kun.”
“Thank you.” Mob plays with a loose thread on his blanket to look away from that gaze. “But I promised Ritsu I wouldn’t do it again, so…”
“Oh, and you shouldn’t! If it puts you in this state. But,” Teru says, leaning forward and hugging his knees. “It’s just amazing that you could do it if you wanted to. You’re amazing.”
His toes are now pointed at Mob’s toes now, but the website didn’t say if that counts.
Teru is a kind friend always ready to hand out compliments. Mob tries not to read too much into it – it’s something Teru has been doing for years, after all, and shouldn’t be interpreted as anything more.
Except Mob can’t help it.
Friendship is no longer enough. Mob wants to trust Teru with his pleasure and his heart and his future, things that a friend wouldn’t want or wouldn’t be comfortable having. Mob wants to kiss him without any fear of rejection, without ever wondering if he’s unwanted or too much or too unversed in social rules to understand when a gesture is acceptable or not. He wants complete and utter faith that his kisses are welcome, that Teru knows what they mean, that he enjoys them regardless of skill because they come from Mob.
Yesterday (about 10 years from now) we were in love and married, and I was in your arms having my forehead kissed, it’s what Mob wants to say, the words traveling to the tip of his tongue but never falling off it.
“Do you- Do you want to know what I saw?” He finds himself saying before he can think things through.
Teru’s eyes turn hard and calculating as he leans forward to whisper, “Are we in danger?”
Mob shakes his head. “No, nothing like that.”
“What did you see then?”
Teru leans forward as if expecting a secret to be whispered between them. Fueled by the feeling of lips on his forehead, all the courage Mob has ever known gathers inside his mouth.
“You will marry.”
He knows it’s the wrong thing to say when Teru’s face turns blank.
“I marry?”
“Yes.”
Teru lets out this weird laugh, something devoid of joy and warmth. “That’s not possible.”
His stomach drops. Mob can’t feel his hands or feet.
“Why would you say that?”
“It’s just-” His maybe-future-husband sighs, a stark contrast to how he does it in the future. “not possible. I wouldn’t marry.”
“But,” Mob counters in what he hears as a tiny voice. “You will, and you looked happy too.”
“Yeah, that’s… No.” Teru’s smile is anything but merry, an ugly tug of lines Mob hasn’t seen in years. “Maybe it was just a dream after all? Or a hallucination, or something?”
“Maybe…” He agrees with even less conviction than when he conceded to Ritsu. “But I don’t think it was.”
To Mob’s confusion and alarm, Teru suddenly gets up. “Little brother is right. It’s dangerous to know the future,” he says and walks towards the window. “I should go for the day, let you rest.”
Mob feels beyond disappointed, wants him to stay, wants to demand an explanation.
All he can do is stutter. “Don’t you- Don’t you want to know who it is?”
Teru doesn’t even look back as he leaves. “Don’t care.”
*****
Mob doesn’t receive an invite for the marathon after that.
Having Teru ignore him in the form of not texting Mob is disheartening. He suddenly finds himself with all this free time that would be spent thinking of replies and researching things like ‘what does lmfao mean”, and doesn’t know what to do as a sense of melancholy follows him like a shadow.
Future-Teru marries him while present-Teru leaves the room at the mention of marriage. Mob doesn’t know what to do with this and which words could make this right.
To think that he had brushed his teeth basking in a feeling of impending success, thinking it was a matter of minutes until Teru’s lips were on his and Mob was on his first step towards that garden.
He sets out to try and find out if any of what he saw has a chance of coming true. It takes hours for Mob to find the University of St Andrews, his only memories featuring a college by the sea with the name of a saint. Once the remains of a cathedral appear on his search, though, Mob at once recognizes the ruins where Ritsu and Shou walked (will walk) on a brisk winter morning.
Ritsu is so amazing. In only a few years his brother will be studying a Master’s degree in a fancy university overseas. A place where royalty attended, nonetheless. Their mother had always said Ritsu’s good English grades wouldn’t be for nothing.
The question is: should Mob tell him that?
Mob still doesn’t know the answer to that when Shou materializes in their back garden Saturday afternoon.
“Ritsu’s brother!”
“Ritsu’s friend.”
Shou clears his throat as the mentioned Ritsu crosses his arms.
“I, Suzuki Shou, thoroughly apologize for daring you to take a peek into the future. True, it was pretty epic and you did win the bet…” A glance at Ritsu has him swallowing his words fast. “but it was risky as f and we shouldn’t have done it.” Another glance tells him is not yet enough. “And shall never do so again. May lightning strike me if I speak false!”
Shou’s theatrical pose has Mob smiling. “You are forgiven,” he says to appease his brother.
“Thank you, good sir.”
They both look at Ritsu for approval. Ritsu gives it in the form of uncrossing his arms. “I’ll get us drinks.”
Not two seconds after he’s gone, Shou flops down next to him on the porch.
“So…”
“Yes?”
Two red eyebrows wriggle at him. “Was it awesome or what?”
“It was something,” Mob concedes.
“Is the next boss battle epic?”
“I don’t know anything about that,” he says for maybe the fourth time. “I just saw moments of people’s lives.”
“Oh, man…” Shou’s legs swing back and forth. “Anything interesting, though?”
“I’m not sure if I should say,” Mob thinks out loud. “But maybe I should say because me saying something it’s what might make it come true.”
“Uff, predestination paradox is a bitch,” Shou agrees with a friendly pat on his back. “Well, I guess as long as Ritsu is happy in this future you saw, there’s no need to worry…”
The shores of St. Andrews come to mind and Mob smiles. “I’ve never seen him happier,” he tells him. “Or you, for that matter.”
Green eyes rise, wide and penetrating. Mob would have taken a step back if he wasn’t sitting down.
“They’re related? His happiness to mine?”
Mob is paralyzed. How Shou has managed to arrive at that conclusion with only two sentences is beyond him.
He wants to deny it, too afraid of the consequences, but as soon as Mob opens his mouth, he closes it again when Ritsu comes out with a plate of little sandwiches and soda.
Shou’s eyes are round and unblinking as he drinks in every movement of Ritsu sitting down and serving them drinks. Ritsu hands his friend a glass and finally notices that searing gaze on him.
“What is it?” Ritsu asks, rubbing his mouth and chin in case there are any crumbs. Mob finds it alarming that the intensity in those eyes doesn’t seem to unsettle him, but maybe Ritsu is already used to the overwhelming amount of attention Shou has reserved for him and him alone.
Shou smiles and stuffs his mouth with a sandwich. “Nothing. Everything is finally perfect.”
Ritsu only blinks at the enigmatic phrasing and seems to chalk it up to Shou being Shou.
They spend an hour catching up. Their house’s back garden is small and simple, very basic compared to the tiny forest Teru and he had (will have?), but it’s pleasant enough to lazy around and get some sun.
Mob doesn’t miss Shou’s eyes drifting back to his brother, shyly at times, boldly at others. When the two of them begin a video game topic Mob knows nothing about, their attention fully turned to each other, Mob excuses himself and hopes he hasn’t hurt their future happiness.
*****
Suzuki Shou doesn’t waste time, Mob learns the next morning as he knocks on Ritsu’s door.
Even for a Sunday, it’s pretty rare for his brother to sleep past 8 am. Not getting a reply, Mob opens the door to check if Ritsu and his friend left before he woke up, only to close it at once.
It’s just a second but it can’t be unseen – their limbs all tangled up as Shou holds Ritsu from behind, a hand resting on his stomach under his shirt.
Even with their pajamas on, it’s way too intimate, a moment of rest and vulnerability not for Mob’s eyes.
He’d begun to worry if he’d have to ‘set them up’, something he often heard other people talking about although the mere concept terrified him. Seems like a small confirmation was all Shou needed after all to take the first step, and that step was all Ritsu needed in turn.
Mob makes coffee for his brother and thinks of the couple he saw in the future.
Shou took kisses, positively stealing them when Ritsu had his guard down. It was amusing to watch his brother’s collected face turning flushed as he playfully shoved Shou away, getting more kisses taken in retaliation. Shou’s grin was bigger than his face; so was Ritsu’s, but he tried hiding it beneath a scarf.
They stumbled around the ruins of a cathedral until reaching a pier with an old wall dividing the shore and piercing the sea. Shou jumped from rock to rock across the shore, testing the way for Ritsu to follow him, until they had to stop and decide between getting their boots wet or turning back. Unbothered by little details like physics, Shou hugged him around the waist and flew them up to the wall.
They walked the wall right up to the edge, where Shou turned to Ritsu, so much adoration in his eyes that Ritsu didn’t seem to know what to do with himself except stare right back.
“Your brother up?” His father asks, and Mobs forces himself to return from the memory of a morning that is yet to pass.
Mobs shakes his head. “Shou and Ritsu are sleeping in today.”
“Well, that’s good, isn’t it? To have a lazy Sunday once in a while.” He hums, turning the page of his newspaper. “You should try that too sometime, Shige.”
He doesn’t reply. There’s nothing Mob wants more than to sleep in with Teru and then proceed to do nothing all day. The problem is getting to the sleep together part to start with.
An hour later, Mob comes down to take a peek from the kitchen door. Ritsu pours two cups of coffee while a sleepy Shou hugs him from behind, lips on his neck and hands around his waist. Their hair is endearingly all over the place. Mob can’t bring himself to greet them good morning in case it breaks their relaxed disposition, and returns to his room.
It’s easy for Shou, with his open affection and eagerness to go after what he wants. Mob isn’t like that. For starters, he has no idea what sequence of events needs to happen so Teru will fall in love with him, what incident under the sun could possibly take Mob into strong arms that will cradle him close while their owner calls him ‘kitten’.
Mob kneels by his desk, melancholy a cape draped over his shoulders. Ritsu and Shou are so perfect together. Mob wants to be like that with Teru and Cas.
“Shige, are you running a fever again?” His mother asks from the hallway.
He stands up. “I’m just hot.”
“Turn the heater off, then.”
“I will.”
It was just yesterday. It hasn’t even been 24 hours and these two already have the same level of intimacy Mob has seen years into their future. Meaning they already had feelings for each other when Shou made his move.
Maybe Teru has feelings for you right now, right this instant while you clean your desk, hope whispers in his ears, excited and dizzying.
… Except that didn’t make much sense, did it? Teru’s reaction to the idea of marriage is not exactly encouraging. Maybe Mob was the one who was reaching, twisting smiles out of shape to fit his hopes of having his feelings returned.
What had Mob done to deserve it, in any case?
*****
Except. Shou and Ritsu.
They got together as soon as Mob mentioned the future, even if by accident.
Hmmm.
*****
It’s a Tuesday when Mob sees her. Cas.
She’s young, maybe a teenager, and way too skinny to be healthy. But her white spots on black are all accounted for, her same green eyes are as sharp as ten years from now.
She’s perfect.
Both cat and boy stare at each other – him by the front door of his house, her on top of a fence.
In a panic, he does the only thing that comes to mind.
They are making a scene and Mob feels terrible, he does, can only hope he’s not hurting her as she struggles. There’s nothing to struggle against, though, his powers holding her in the air as they quickly make way through familiar paths.
“Kagey- aaah!”
Teru jumps back as Cas jumps forward, sprints across his apartment, and ends up hiding under the bed.
Teru turns to the cat, then to him, then kneels to make sure that, yes, that is indeed a feline under his bed. “Why- why is there a cat in my apartment?”
Mob fidgets furiously. “I found her on the street. She needs a home.”
“And you chose this home because…”
“You said you were lonely without me. She’ll keep you company.”
“Right…” Teru rubs his eyes. “Oh my god-”
Terrible ideas. Mob is full of them these days.
It’s too late now. He pulls on his sleeves, covering his fingers as far as the fabric goes. “My mom is allergic so I couldn’t take her in. Can you keep her, please? Just until I find a home for her.”
“Alright, just…” His friend takes a deep breath, then throws his hands up. “It’s fine. I’ll do it.”
When Teru gets his jacket and shoes, Mob is the one confused. “Where are you going?”
“Well, we need to feed her, right? And buy her cat things.”
He can’t stop himself (doesn’t want to stop himself). He throws his arms around Teru. “Thank you, Hanazawa-kun! This means a lot to me.”
He can feel the smile against his neck, so this at least isn’t inappropriate after days without communication. “You’re welcome, Kageyama-kun.”
Mob doesn’t contain his smile as they make their way down the stairs.
“Hanazawa-kun is so kind and responsible.”
“Yes, well,” Teru says, smiling a bit too shyly for his personality.
“A true gentleman,” Mob teases, knowing how pleased (and bashful) his friend gets when complimented sincerely.
“Alright, enough of that,” Teru shouts, but his face is red and his lips are smiling, so Mob doesn’t apologize.
*****
Not five hours after the fact, Mob receives a message that sends him spitting his toothpaste on the bathroom mirror.
He cleans it up fast and makes the call.
“That’s amazing! How did you get her to do that?” Mob blurts out, forgetting to say hello.
Teru laughs on the other end of the line. “I don’t know. I think she just sees me as a giant heater to lie on?”
Mob giggles, euphoric. It’s happening! It’s coming true. Cas is already lying on Teru’s lap and it’s only day one.
“Kageyama-kun…” Teru sighs softly, but he sounds pleased. “Not that she can replace you, but she’s good company.”
“You’re keeping her, after all?”
“Well, I mean, we already got all that stuff for her-”
“You won’t regret it!” Mob doesn’t mean to interrupt him, but it’s stronger than him. “She’ll be the best cat, I’m sure of it!”
It’s like he can hear Teru’s smile in his words. “Well, with you vouching for her like that…”
“I vouch for her,” Mob adds enthusiastically.
“I was thinking of calling her ‘Cassandra’, since she walks like such a lady. I always felt like Cassandra was a lady’s name.”
Mob’s heart stops, restarts, beats so fast it might jump out of his chest. “‘Cas’, for short?”
“Ah, Cas. Now that has a nice ring to it.”
Excitement is a power of nature, Mob is discovering. “Can I come over tomorrow to see her?”
“…Yes. Absolutely!” Teru very emphatically says. He clears his throat. “That is, you can see her every day if you want.”
I want to see you every day, Mob thinks and doesn’t say it.
“Okay!” Mob nods, even though the gesture can’t be seen. “Say goodnight to her for me, please.”
“Cas, your father is saying goodnight.” He chuckles. “She says ‘meow’.”
If Mob floats a little above ground, no one needs to know.
“Fa- fa- father?”
“Oh…” Teru hesitates, making all sorts of ‘hmmm’ sounds. “I mean, I’m just joking. Since you picked her up.”
“Ah right, right. That… makes sense.”
“Sorry-”
“No, that’s- okay. That’s funny. Maybe we can co-parent…?”
Teru seems to be choking on something. “Ah. Right. I guess I’m a cat dad now, haha. I gotta go now, okay? Bye.”
After the call ends, he has to pull himself down holding on to the desk.
*****
Mob is a catnapper and a thug. Cas runs off the moment she sees him.
He turns to Teru for answers. “I want her to love me.”
“Just give her time.” His friend offers him an understanding smile.
“How much time?”
“Why don’t you come over tomorrow to hang out again? So she can get to know you.”
“Alright,” Mob concedes, watching Cas’s huddled form hiding under the table.
They start their Haikyuu marathon sitting close on the couch, but not as close as Shou and Ritsu now sit, legs all tangled up together. Mob wants their version of that, of sharing closeness like it’s second nature.
Cas doesn’t come out the entire time Mob is there.
Maybe this is part of it, he tells himself. Maybe this is really how Cas comes to be theirs, and it’s a matter of time before she gets used to Mob as well and the three of them are cuddling on the couch.
He doesn’t mind waiting for Teru; he doesn’t mind waiting for years if it comes to that. Nonetheless, his heart seeks the easy intimacy he’d briefly experienced.
That night, Teru sends him another photo of Cas on his legs, and Mob realizes he’s not as patient as he thought himself to be.
*****
Three times Teru kissed him, in his vision of the future.
One was a peck, a casual thing that felt like a 'hi', but when Teru moved back, well, he seemed to decide it wasn't enough, like when the first bite of cake is over too fast and you need to consciously savor the second. He swooped in again, no permission asked or needed, kissing Mob as one would delight in an exotic dessert.
Mob had no idea a kiss could be like that, but of course, Teru would know, of course Teru would be able to make his toes curl in his pink flip-flops, because Teru held the secrets of love on the tip of his fingers and tongue, and only through them would he part with the knowledge.
Future Mob moaned, softly, as Current Mob's head spun. When Teru pulled back, this time with a satisfied sigh, he looked at Mob's dazed face and quickly went back in for a third kiss, a molding of lips that lingered, the equivalent of licking the plate to make sure no particle of the delicious desert went to waste.
The potted plant in Mob’s arms almost slipped between his shaky fingers when Teru was finally satisfied and went to the lounger.
In the present, Mob places his hands on the floor next to his futon trying to ground himself as the thought of Teru savoring him like a sweet treat runs rampant around his head.
He promised not to do it, to more than one person even, and one of them was his brother nonetheless…
But he wants to see it again. The garden, and that Teru who wore his affection like a medal, and that Cas that rubbed against his leg while he worked in the garden.
He frees his mind but with a goal this time, wishing for his future and materializing it.
…
Except it’s not a garden. Or a house, for that matter. But an apartment’s balcony with a safety net.
Older Teru brings cold drinks and sits beside Older Mob on a bench. Cas jumps on the corner against Teru, and both cat and Mob tense up.
Mob moves away. “She’s never relaxed around me.”
“You’re never relaxed around her.” Teru chuckles. “Here. Sit back.”
He gives Mob an extra cushion for his back. Mob imitates his friend’s laid-back posture as they wait for the cat to settle down in the space between them.
The sunset is beautiful over the skyline of the city. Mob smiles shyly at him. “This is nice.”
Teru hums his agreement. “See? She’s closing her eyes.”
Gently, Teru caresses her back before taking Mob’s hand and teaching him to do the same. Mob tries not to laugh in happiness as Cas accepts his touch and Teru keeps their hands intertwined.
It’s only a moment, though. Teru retreats his hand with a soft ‘there you go’. Too soon, the sunset is gone, and they decide to go back inside.
*****
Mob wakes up covered in sweat and with a distinct feeling that he’s lost something precious.
*****
He doesn’t understand, so he seeks someone who might.
“I see. So your vision of the future changed after you forced the cat to live with that Hanazawa kid,” Reigen muses out loud, leaning back.
Mob nods emphatically. “Yes. But, when I accidentally told someone else about their future, he made it become reality within a day.”
Reigen hums. “So results have been conflicting.”
“Here’s an idea, Shige,” Dimple says. “How about you mind your business and let people figure out their stuff by themselves?”
Mob winces in shame. “But I need to fix this, though. It’s my fault things are like this.”
“Well, none of the things you’ve seen are particularly bad, correct?” Reigen asks in a singular tone of voice that indicates he’s already reached a conclusion and now wants others to follow his lead.
His last vision had been disappointing but not bad per se. Mob nods.
“I’m glad. It’d be hard, wouldn’t it, going around with that sort of heavy knowledge on your conscience?” Reigen says quite gently. “Since there’s no impending doom that needs to be avoided, seems like letting things run their course might be the most sensible solution, don’t you agree?”
“What did I just say?” Dimple huffs, sulking.
Mob bites his lips. He supposes Reigen is right, but still, he doesn’t like it.
Heavy knowledge. The weight of knowing what his garden was like only to lose it is oppressive, it’s a burden unlike any other. And now Mob is to sit back and wait… for what? For Teru to wake up one day and confess to him?
“What if I tried to control it better?” Mob finds himself saying. “If I tried to see what happens before that, to understand what went wrong?”
Reigen and Dimple share a furtive look. Serizawa chooses this moment to come in with a teapot.
“You be careful with that, Mob. Knowledge is power, and power can become addicting,” Reigen warns him.
“But wouldn’t you want to know, Shishou? About your future?”
Serizawa serves them tea as he asks, “You saw Reigen’s future?”
Reigen shrugs. “It’s best not to know. If it’s all good anyway, then there’s nothing to worry about. It’ll come on its own.”
“What about my future, Mob-kun?” Serizawa enquires with some wonderment.
Reigen quickly turns to his employee before Mob can answer. “What?! Why are you asking him that?”
It’s a rare tone of voice for him and sends both Serizawa and Mob recoiling. Hugging the tray against his chest, Serizawa awkwardly tries to make a shrug look casual. “I just think it’d be nice to know what’s ahead, take some of the pressure off. To know if I become rich, or if I get a cool job…”
Reigen looks personally insulted. “I’m sorry, is fighting spirits not cool enough for you?”
“I could tell you if you want. In private,” Mob offers. He can see the disapproval in his master’s face, but he doesn’t want to keep it a secret if Serizawa wants to know.
“In private? Is it… bad?” Serizawa asks.
“No. It’s because Shishou said he doesn’t want to know his future.”
Reigen freezes mid-sip and Mob can tell there’s unexpected tension in the room. Serizawa seems to shrink in on himself when he says, “Are our futures related to each other?”
…It’s too late, just like with Shou. Mob can feel his entire face on fire under both men’s scrutiny.
His mind is useless to come up with excuses, but Mob tries. “Why- Why would you think that? I didn’t say that-”
Reigen gets up, and Serizawa steps back to give him room.
“C’mon, let’s buy some snacks.”
It’s a confusing non sequitur, but Mob understands the mood enough to know it’s better to just get up and leave.
*****
They go to a convenience store near the office. It’s by the dairy section that both Mob and his master turn to each other.
“Listen, Mob-”
“I’m sorry. I think I caused an embarrassing situation.”
“Nah, it’s fine.” Reigen puts a hand on his shoulder. “Things were already a bit awkward between us. It’s not your fault.”
“Has…” Mob swallows with some difficulty. “Has something happened between Shishou and Serizawa-san?”
“Just your typical adult drama,” Reigen says and Mob nods, not knowing at all what kind of drama that’s supposed to be. “Serizawa is figuring his own stuff out.” In a whisper to himself, he adds, “It’s not a good idea to start something with someone who’s having a hard time, anyways.”
“If someone’s going through a tough time, isn’t that even more reason to be with them?” Mob interjects, and Reigen seems surprised to hear it. “I wouldn’t want to be with someone only when it’s easy. Aren’t relationships about both good and bad times?”
“I- you-” His master sputters, and hides his flushed face behind a hand. “Honestly, where do you learn stuff like that?” Mob opens his mouth but Reigen is quick to add, “Wait! Don’t answer that.”
*****
Mob has been trying not to think of some of the images he saw due to their….. nature. But the conversation that afternoon brought them to the surface in a way that couldn’t be easily brushed aside.
It was different than seeing his brother and Shou out in public holding hands. Mob shouldn't have been in someone’s bathroom, a voyeur to an intimate moment between his master and the man who was Reigen's employee.
It was morning. Serizawa had apparently just gotten out of the shower and was carefully shaving when two arms enveloped his naked chest from behind.
“Back to beeed,” Reigen moaned, tucking his face against a muscular back.
Serizawa smiled at his own reflection in the foggy mirror. “The boss will be mad if I’m late.”
“Pff, that guy? I can take him if he’s got a problem.”
“Please don’t. I like him.”
“Besides…” Kisses were planted against heated skin. “The good thing about you owning half the company is that you make half the rules.”
Serizawa pulled Reigen to trap him between the sink and his body. “It’s not respectable to be late.”
Reigen snorted, nosing along his neck. “We can’t have that, can we?”
Like he weighs nothing, Serizawa raised him to sit on the sink, Reigen’s legs encircling him at once. Reigen took the razor and angled Serizawa’s face, shaving off a stripe of foam with steady fingers in what is probably the most intimate show of trust Mob has ever seen.
Thankfully, that was as far as he saw, but their affectionate smiles, the conspiratorial look they shared between them, made Mob wonder about the nature of intimacy and how relationships can change over time.
*****
The next day, Mob rushes over after school determined to lie to Serizawa about remembering the future – he’s already interfered too much, after all, and that future is too precious to be jeopardized.
When he enters the office, however, he has to slowly back away towards the door. He doesn’t think they saw him, though, with how Reigen was leaning on the desk, kissing a seated Serizawa that had his eyes closed.
*****
It’s fine, Mob decides. No more time travel. No more meddling, no more little sentences that gave everything away and changed people’s lives.
Teru
I think she might be plotting to kill me.
[photo]
Mob gets updates on a daily life he’s not a part of. Cas is sassy, playful, smart, likes to lie on top of Teru, raises her butt when he scratches the base of her tail.
Mob hasn’t been able to pet her even once.
Mob has to put away his phone as the teacher comes in, but the image of Cas’s cute face stays in his mind. She has a fox’s face. From the angle and light, it was probably taken that morning when Cas climbed on top of Teru and sat on his chest, demanding with her vigilant eyes that he got up-
“Kageyama, pay attention!”
Mob flinches, pulling his attention back to his messy notes. “I’m sorry!”
His teacher huffs in an unnecessary show of her displeasure. “How are you supposed to be accepted into a good uni with an attention span like that?”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Mob replies, and his teacher does a double-take to realize that, yes, Kageyama had spoken more than two words.
“With your grades? I find that hard to believe.”
"I've decided not to stress about it."
She seems speechless as the other students stare at him and whisper something that sounds like ‘Kageyama is so cool’.
Mob blushes. Certainly, that wasn’t it. He’s probably mishearing.
Class resumes and Mobs breathes a sigh of relief to be forgotten once again.
He discreetly scrolls through photos of Teru and Cas, and then photos of him and Mob, to stop at one where Cas allowed his presence in the same room as her before running off. Teru is posing and Mob is sort of there, like he usually is, but Cas is a blur of movement in the background.
…
Mob made the wrong decisions and now Cas hates him, Teru lost a house for it, lost their house with their garden.
…
It’s a terrible, not sensible, unwise, all-around ill-advised idea. Mob knows this. And he had already decided to leave well enough alone, so he should stick to that.
He still rests his forehead in a hand, pretending to be studying his notebook.
It’s so much easier the third time, but it’s futile to dictate where he wants to go when he’s not quite sure how the process works.
He lands in a supermarket very much like any other. Mob’s older self is browsing milk, and in a way, it’s a relief to know some things don’t change.
Ritsu brings orange juice for their shared basket. It’s frustratingly hard for Mob to figure out how old they are since anyone from 22 to 30 all looks the same to him.
“I’ll go grab the salt while it’s on my mind,” Ritsu tells him.
He nods. “Good thinking.”
Not a moment later, Mob turns around and spots Teru standing by the end of the aisle, immobile as he stares at Mob.
But not any regular Teru. A Teru that has been swallowed by the wardrobe of makeover shows Mob’s mom likes to watch and then was spat back into the world. Young Mob thinks he looks fabulous, but future Mob seems shocked to see him.
“Hanazawa-kun!” Older Mob calls out, walking over to him.
Teru doesn’t look so comfortable, only giving him this dimmed smile that is nothing like the expression that usually greets him.
“Hello, Kageyama-kun.”
“I didn’t know you were in town.”
“Just passing by, actually.”
Mob’s smile falters, but he keeps up his good spirit at seeing his old friend. "How was Berlin?"
"It was good," Teru says without much excitement. "I'm in Paris now."
"…Ow, Paris. That's amazing, Hanazawa-kun."
They both nod. Mob seems to have nothing else to comment on; neither does Teru for that matter, as he just stands there looking more and more unsettled.
“And how are your parents?” Teru finally asks, and Mob can speak again.
“They're doing fine. They ask about you.”
“Oh, that’s nice.”
“Ritsu and I have our own apartment... And I still,” Mob stutters, swallowing heavily. “I still look for Cas sometimes.”
Teru lets out this awful sigh, this heavy thing full of unspoken feelings and dissatisfactions.
“I – I appreciate that, but it was so long ago. Street cats don’t survive that long out there.” Teru looks around as if searching for an emergency escape route. “Thanks for trying and everything, but I think you should stop.”
Mob is lost, in what to say, how to say it, what to do. Teru doesn’t let him suffer for long, though.
“Listen, I gotta get going. Say hi to your brother for me, okay?”
And Teruki walks away from him like he can’t stand seeing him, like the sight of Mob brings him pain.
Mob is 17 and sits in a classroom in a school. Mob is in his 20s and stands alone in the aisle of a supermarket.
Mob is young and the words the teacher repeats have no meaning.
Words have no meaning at the supermarket either.
*****
He opens his eyes to find himself lying in a field with no cars, or people, or buildings.
With alarming calmness, he checks the phone in his school jacket to realize that today is still today and only half an hour has passed since class started.
Mob can’t even bring himself to feel dread yet. Can’t make himself feel anything, really.
He texts with eerily steady fingers.
Shigeo
Hello, Ritsu.
I had a stomach problem and had to leave class. I accidentally left my things on my desk. Please inform the teacher about this and take my bag home. Thank you and I’m sorry for the trouble.
There. Everyone has stomach problems; no one wants to own up to them. Mob doesn’t mind the embarrassment as long as it can explain why a student teleported himself out of class.
Mob curls up on his side and watches the wind make the tall grass dance.
It’s nice here, wherever this is. His body doesn’t hurt so much, there’s only some mild sweat this time, and perhaps no fever. Maybe Mob is getting better at peering at the future.
The future.
His stomach drops, it drops into an abyss with no return, and Mob aches.
Teruki. Teru didn’t even want to see him. He had a life in Paris, he had nice clothes and better things to do than to stand in the dairy section of some supermarket talking to Mob. And Ritsu. Ritsu was supposed to be with Shou far away, laughing and kissing and studying something that’s probably important.
And Cas. Cas was gone.
And Mob. Teenage Mob misses Teru so much. Things haven’t been the same, they haven’t been who they are around each other.
Maybe they can never return to that and it’s all Mob’s fault.
A hand rests on his shoulder.
“Shigeo,” Teru whispers quietly. “Hi.”
Mob jumps out of his skin.
“What- what are you-” He sits up, touching Teru’s arm to believe he’s really here, kneeling beside him. “How are you here?”
“I, well,” Teru starts and stops. He scratches the back of his head, looking shy and uncertain. “I think you… brought me here?”
The information doesn’t compute for a long moment. When it does, Mob feels that he might die of mortification.
“Teru! Teru, I’m so sorry!”
“It’s okay-”
“But I kidnapped you!”
"Nah, it was English anyway. No one needs that class."
Mob kneels by his side.
"I'm deeply sorry, Hanazawa-kun. Please take a cab back to school, I'll reimburse you."
“Hanazawa again, huh?” Teru lies back on the grass, hands behind his head. “I think I’ll stick around since I’m already here.”
“Your school will be worried.”
“It’s fine. I’ll email the school.”
And he takes out his phone to do just that. Mob is left kneeling there, confused at how smoothly Teru seems to be taking being suddenly teleported from school against his will.
“Will that be okay?”
“I’m telling them it was a stomach thing,” Teru says as he finishes typing. “Stomach things are so great. Every time I wanna get out of something, I put a hand on my belly and I moan the words ‘stomach thing’. There’re no follow-up questions.”
It’s unexpected, a feeling he can’t comprehend after all the heartbreak he just experienced. And still, Mob laughs with glee. Teru seems pleased, smiling back with teeth and all his boyish charm.
They lie down side by side to cloud watch. Mob thinks he might not move again unless under coercion, all the stress giving him a break as he starts to notice how drained he’s feeling.
He turns to Teru – his Teru, his best friend who is happy to be with him on a Thursday afternoon, and who immediately turns to him as well – and says, “If you could choose anywhere in the world to live, where would you choose?”
Mob knows he’s setting himself up for disappointment, but he needs to know. The new future Teru didn’t look so happy, but surely Paris is a better, more exciting place than Seasoning City?
Teru hums, thinking it through. “I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to visit Europe.”
“But, not to visit, to live.”
“Hmm, that depends. Where are you living in this fantasy?”
He breathes out too heavily. “Hanazawa-kun, I’m asking about you, not about me.”
“You think I wouldn’t want to live in the same town as my best friend?”
Affection and hurt are all mixed into one as Mob closes his eyes, forcing himself not to cry. Who is the Teru that would live across the planet from him? What has Mob done to him?
When he opens them, Teru is looking at him closely, watching, waiting for his answer.
“I think… I’d like to live where my family and friends live,” Mob says, and knows it’s true.
“I guess you already got what you wanted then,” Teru gently points out, tucking Mob’s hair behind his ear for him.
“What about you?” Mob insists, trying to think over the feeling of that hand on his hair. “You were thinking about fashion, correct? You once said there’s no place for fashion like Paris.”
Teru shrugs. “There’s fashion here too.”
It’s infuriating. Mob feels angry and he doesn’t understand the reason. Why won’t Teru just admit he would live in Paris if he could choose?
Teru interrupts Mob’s alarming line of thought. “I think… This is the place where Suzuki and your brother come to fly and spar with each other.”
Mob spots a tree on top of a hill and realizes he’s been here before. “Oh, you’re right.”
“Should we?”
“Spar?”
“Fly.”
It’s not something they’ve ever done before, but Teru’s excited expression is too dear to disappoint.
In a moment, this bright, gentle force makes Mob weightless and carries him towards the blue sky. He holds on to Teru’s hand, afraid they might get separated even though it’s an irrational thought, seeing as his friend has full control of his powers and is levitating them together.
Teru doesn’t let go as they soar over fields and hills. It feels good to glide without any effort on his part, Teru the one taking them forward, sometimes up and down the clouds they had just been watching.
They lock eyes and Mob can read his friend’s grin at once. He nods, and they fall, hand in hand through the clouds with the wind blowing their hair and uniforms in much the same way it makes the fields dance.
Mob isn’t worried, isn’t even looking down as his eyes can’t seem to separate from Teru’s. Teru smiles at him, extraordinarily happy, and Mob wants to kiss him.
The lightness in his chest is replaced by bitter distaste for himself, a sudden emotion he can’t shake, can’t deal with, can’t hide.
Teru reaches out for his other hand as he changes gravity around them, pulling them to a gentle stop in the air, where they float above woodland.
“Hey, Shigeo,” Teru says in the tone he uses for Cas when she’s spooked. “Won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”
What’s wrong? What’s wrong is the weight of the future. It’s the distance of an ocean between them in that supermarket, it’s the powers of a god that only seem to bring Mob misery and never anything he wants.
“I’m sorry,” he says, for the lack of any other words to express his sense of loss.
“This isn’t like you.” Teru sounds frustrated and Mob can relate.
“What would be more like me?”
“Just let me help you!”
“It’s the future,” Mob finds himself blurting out. “It keeps changing. I keep going there but it changes every time.”
“Then stop. Don’t do it again,” Teru commands. It’s so easy to say the words, Mob almost envies him. “You said you wouldn’t.”
“You’re unhappy there. I need to fix it.”
Hands grab him by the arms and pull him close in an iron hold. “Stop it! Stop going there! It’s not real. It’s not gonna happen, whatever it is-”
“I can't stop. It’s your marriage, I-”
The hands leave him and Mob has to catch himself as the gentle power holding him disappears.
The sun is setting behind Teru, turning his hair golden as he flies off and away from Mob.
*****
“Shige.”
Mob stops by the living room door to see his father on the couch changing channels.
“Dad.”
“Where did you spend the afternoon?” He asks, not with a tone of accusation but with enough firmness that Mob wouldn’t dare lie if he wanted to.
“With Teru. Flying over the mountains.”
“And that was more important than Geography?”
“I’m in love with him, Dad.”
Mob pauses, trying to understand who just said that until realizing it was him. How strange, to say it with no stutter or blush. Perhaps he’s too tired to blush, even at the most honest admission he’s ever confessed.
“Shigeo, that’s wonderful.” His father jumps up from the couch. “Does he know?”
Mob shakes his head, something solid stuck in his throat for a moment. “No. I don’t think I can tell him.”
“You’re allowed to tell a friend how you feel.” His father’s big hands brush away the tears Mob didn’t feel coming out. “That’s exactly what friends are for, not for keeping secrets and feeling bad about yourself.”
“What if it changes things to something bad?” Mob looks up at his father, half expecting a miraculous reply that would set things right.
“You just have to trust that it won’t,” he says. “It’s a leap of faith. Trust your instincts.”
There’s a kiss on Mob’s forehead before he’s being pulled to watch TV with his father.
*****
Mob isn’t sure what qualifies as instincts, but he thinks back to his first reaction to messaging Teru after waking up. He wanted to tell him right away, was almost ready to do it before Dimple, and Teru’s reaction, and his own insecurities. He hadn’t been sure if Teru felt the same, but he had been ready to take what his father had called ‘leap of faith’.
He knocks on his brother’s door the next Sunday.
“Ritsu, do you mind accompanying me to Teru’s place?”
Ritsu looks up from a book. “What for?”
Mob blushes but says without stutter, “I wish to deliver a letter to him and I rather avoid… what happened that time.”
“Right.” Ritsu nods solemnly like a young man called out to war. “Okay. When are we leaving?”
In a few minutes, they are out the door and heading north.
“Hanazawa is lucky to get such a letter from Nii-san,” Ritsu says. His most grave expression is in place; someone could think they’re delivering an obituary notice.
“I’ll be the lucky one if he replies.”
“Uh-uh. Hanazawa should count himself lucky you even laid eyes on him in the first place.”
Mob chuckles. Ritsu’s overprotective nature makes him feel loved, but it’s also funny to watch. He wishes Shou was here to good-humoredly tease him for it.
*****
There’s no buzzer or doorman, so Mob climbs right up to Teru’s apartment. His intention is to slide the envelope under the door and avoid having to do this face to face, a situation where he would start doubting himself again.
Of course, that’s the moment the door slings open and Teru stares at him, shocked.
“Kageyama…”
“Oh, hi,” Mob greets him, uneasy under those eyes. “Were you on your way out?”
“Just taking out the trash. Did we have something today?”
“No, I just…” Mob holds the door open for him. “Let me help you.”
“Thanks. I sort of kept forgetting it and now it’s like this.”
Together they carry the trash down the stairs and to the dumpster on the ground floor. It’s not the most romantic setting, but when Teru turns to him, Mob feels he needs to do it right now or he won’t do it at all.
“I came to deliver this letter to you,” he says, and almost shoves it against Teru’s chest.
Every emotion a person can experience seems to take form on Teru’s face as he holds the letter. Mob discretely wipes his sweaty hands on his jeans.
“What is it?” Teru asks like he’s never seen a letter before.
“It’s for you,” Mob answers, perhaps a bit unhelpfully.
Mob can’t be imagining the wonderment and hope in Teru’s voice as he says, “You wrote it?”
“Yes,” Mob nods and blushes under the intensity of that gaze. “It’s about… my feelings, and us, and the future. And Cas too.”
And just like that, it’s all gone. Teru’s next expression is a secret to Mob, a blank canvas just like the moment Mob had told him he would marry.
Mob stares at Teru’s hand returning his letter unread.
“I’m sorry, Kageyama. I can’t read this.”
“I see…” He takes it back, not even registering the weight of it in his hand. “I’m sorry to have bothered you.”
Teru seems like he wants to refute that statement but Mob is already leaving.
*****
Ritsu looks up from his phone, and whatever he sees in Mob’s face turns him somber.
“He didn’t want to read it,” Mob offers in the way of explanation.
“…Nii-san, are you okay?”
“I think I’d like to go home now.”
They walk side by side, Ritsu’s shoulder bumping into his in silent support.
It feels… weird. Something beyond the disappointment of rejection. At least Tsubomi had turned him down properly, after he had done talking. In a way, it had been closure, a definitive answer that hurt him but also made sense with time and separation.
He doesn’t know what to feel or how to be, the memory of Teru’s reactions confusing him even more.
When they reach the house, Ritsu offers him his hand.
“I can dispose of it for you if you’d like.”
Mob looks at the sealed letter. What is the point of it now? “Thank you, Ritsu.”
Ritsu takes the letter but holds Mob’s hand in his. “Thank you, Nii-san. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t… with Shou…”
“Of course you would.” Mob’s smile is tiny but he hopes his words can convey how happy he is for his brother. “You two are made for each other. It was only a matter of time.”
That seems to hit home for Ritsu. His eyes steel as he nods. “Right.”
When Mob opens the door, he notices Ritsu still standing by the gate. “Aren’t you coming in?”
“I have to buy a few things from the convenience store. I’ll be right back.”
*****
When Ritsu comes back 50 minutes later empty-handed, Mob assumes he couldn’t find what he wanted to buy.
…
Maybe this is for the better, in the long term. Maybe Teru will be happier in Paris, following his dreams, making new friends who deserve him better.
Mob swallows his heart down as he thinks it.
His phone starts vibrating on his desk, but he doesn’t know if he’s in the right headspace to answer when it’s Teru’s name on the screen. And yet… he can’t help but hope that there’s been a misunderstanding of some kind, that he’s changed his mind, that-
“Hel-”
“I can’t find Cas!” Comes Teru’s winded voice. “I think she left when you came over. Have you seen her?”
“Cas is gone?”
Gravity reverts on itself and Mob is lying on the ceiling, looking down to the floor.
Teru keeps talking but the words come through one ear and out the other.
It’s really happening, the third future in the supermarket. Teru will be gone far away any moment now, no longer his friend, no longer someone who smiles when he sees him.
I appreciate that, but it was so long ago. Street cats don’t survive that long out there.
Street cats don’t survive.
They will never find Cas.
“Shige- aaaah!”
Teru comes in through the window and is pulled up to the ceiling beside Mob.
Mob blinks several times. “Teru?”
“Hey,” Teru says, looking around. “Are you redecorating?”
“What are you doing here?” Mob freezes. “Oh, no. Did I teleport you again?”
“You sounded weird, so I came.” He tries to move towards the floor but the pull is too strong, sending him back up. “Can we get down from the ceiling?”
“Sorry!” Mob orders his powers to let go, but they still end up floating in the middle of the room. Teru grabs onto his arm for balance. “I’m sorry!”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s all my fault.”
Teru maneuvers them midair so they’re facing each other. “Of course not. We’ll find her.”
“We won’t, though-”
“Because of what I said at the supermarket?”
Mob is ready to argue but he stops, the words sinking in. Teru holds Mob’s hands in his.
“Ritsu made me read it.”
…
Embarrassment like nothing he’s experienced yet hits him full-on. “Ritsu…”
“I’m glad he did,” Teru speaks softly. His hair floats around his head like he’s underwater, making him look ethereal. Mob hopes his own hair doesn’t look ridiculous right now. “I’m so sorry, Shigeo. I’m sorry that I said those things, and that I refused to read your amazing letter. I loved it so much! I’m gonna read it every day!”
Mob’s face heats up all the way to the roots of his hair.
“You don’t have to,” Mob argues.
“I want to!”
“Okay,” Mob concedes.
Teru holds Mob’s hands against his chest. “I promised myself I wouldn’t marry anyone but you, so when you said I would marry, I thought you meant someone else. I couldn’t believe it.”
Mob can’t even hear himself talk over the blood pounding in his ears. “You- you- you want to marry me?”
“Of course I wanna marry you!” Teru shouts like he’s insulted Mob even has to ask. “If I knew it was you, I’d have jumped up and down! I’d have shouted from the rooftops; I’d have told every single person I know-”
“Okay, okay, okay!”
There’s no way to handle this much happiness and embarrassment while floating in the air, no less. Mob hides his face against Teru’s chest, who laughs and holds him close.
Teru smells good and the fabric of his shirt feels pleasant. Mob wouldn’t mind staying like this for a while.
“I wanna get my reply in writing, though. It’s the least you deserve,” Teru says against his hair, breathing in deep. “I was actually doing that when I noticed Cas was missing.”
Mob pushes himself away. “Oh my god, Teru! How do we find her?”
Teru smiles, reassuring in a way that calms Mob down every time. “Don’t worry. We’ll get all our friends to search with us. We’ll-”
Loud meowing from outside interrupts him. Mob’s powers bring them to the window.
There is a cat on the neighbor’s fence, crouching with its ears flat against its head.
“Cas!”
They both jump out and Teru cradles Cas close to his chest, who doesn’t resist, tucking her head under his jacket. Teru whispers words of reassurance while Mob stands by his side, feeling too agitated and relieved to be able to think how to help.
If anything, Cas looks annoyed that it took them this long to find her.
“Do you think she followed you here?” Teru asks him.
“This is where I first found her. Maybe she was trying to go someplace familiar?”
They take her to the vet and find out she’s fine despite being spooked. On the way to the apartment, Mob watches her in Teru’s arms like a hawk, refusing to let anything happen to her.
She immediately hops on the bed when they arrive, lying in a ball shape on the folded blanket.
It’s such a load off his shoulder. Mob sighs, long and heavy. “I’m so relieved she’s back.”
“Shigeo,” Teru starts, face a bit red and eyes bright. “I mean, Kageyama-kun…”
They still have their jackets and shoes on, but Teru looks like he can’t wait another minute – Mob can relate. Mob smiles, the heat on his face familiar now. He could get used to blushing all the time if it means Teru will look at him like he’s seeing something he likes. “My family calls me Shige.”
“S-Shige…” Teru stammers, his own face on fire, and Mob decides he can definitely get used to this. “Can I… kiss you?”
Mob can only nod and nod and nod, and hope his brain won’t go offline when he needs it most. “Yes, please.”
Teru looks like he can hardly breathe as he steps forward. He cradles Mob’s face in a hand, lovingly, just like that time he kissed him in the garden.
“Teru, wait,” he pleads and hates himself when Teru looks unsure of himself. “Is this really what you want?”
“…What do you mean?”
“You could have your dream job. In Paris!”
Out of all the reactions Mob could have predicted, Teru laughing in genuine glee is not one of them. “I have more than one dream, you know.”
Loving hands tilt Mob’s head up and Mob can see the reflection of his own affections in those eyes.
“What if you make the wrong choice?” His mouth says, not quite believing he gets to receive the determination in those eyes, this amazing gift he will cherish for the rest of his life. “What if you regret-”
It’s a calm kiss, but firm. Teru kisses him slowly, savoring Mob like there’s nothing else in his mind, like the entire world fits in the palm of his hands.
Mob finally understands. He feels the same. There’s no regretting this.
Teru moves back an inch, just enough so he can speak, “You wrote about three different futures. Which one was I happiest?”
“Well…” Mob tries to think over the delightful sensation of Teru’s hot breath hitting his lips. “That first time, I think. With the garden.”
Mob jumps further into Teru’s arms when something rubs against his leg. It’s Cas, looking up at him with those clever eyes. She meows this wet, piercing sound that moves Mob’s heart.
“Could she be hungry?” He asks, and Teru laughs, encircling his arms around him.
“People would think I don’t feed this cat when she puts on her little shows.”
She does it again, rubbing up against both their legs. Mob smiles against Teru’s neck, this huge grin that no amount of repression could ever contain. Teru makes him feel, and Mob wants to feel, more than ever before.
“A garden with a cat. I think I’d like that.” Terus sighs against his head, kissing it tenderly. “I’d like that a lot.”
*****
