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“Zuko?” Sokka questions softly, wrapping his arms around his shoulders from behind as Zuko sits at his desk. He resists the urge to shiver at Sokka’s presence, instead tilts his head so his lips are almost pressed to Zuko’s temple, to the edge of his scar. Sokka's always been so tactile and it kills Zuko just a little bit inside every time this happens. Warmth blooming in his stomach at the contact, he lightly holds onto his forearms. “Yes, Sokka?”
“I need a very small favor,” he says, and from his tone he can tell Sokka thinks he’s gonna say no. Zuko breathes in deeply, inhaling the cologne he always wears during this time of year. Some delicious mix of cedar and cinnamon. “What is it?”
What Sokka doesn’t know is that Zuko is physically incapable of denying him anything, and has been since a few weeks after they met when they were five, even if Sokka hated him back then. Well, maybe Sokka does know, because he starts trailing his fingers over Zuko’s chest and playing with the buttons of his shirt.
“Can you pretend to be my boyfriend for CCPN’s holiday party?” He says in a rush, and Zuko pulls away a bit to stare at him with wide eyes. Sokka’s smiling sheepishly, and Zuko quirks an eyebrow. Internally, he’s panicking a bit.
The love of his life asking him to pretend to date him? At a Christmas party? It’s the perfect recipe for disaster. “It’s only to keep my coworker Jet off my back. He kept asking me out and I finally just said I was dating someone. And his response was that he can’t wait to see us together at the party,” he says, deflating a bit with a sigh.
Zuko’s chest aches at seeing him look so sad, those big blue eyes staring at him so imploringly, so he rubs his thumb over the back of his hand soothingly. Even though this may hurt him beyond repair, he has to say yes. It’s Sokka. “Of course I will,” Zuko gives him a shaky smile, picturing him in a festive-colored shirt, Zuko in a matching tie, holding hands in his place of work in front of everyone.
“Thanks man!” He exclaims, hugging Zuko tighter. “The funniest thing is he assumed it was you cause you’re always with me anyways, so no one will question it. I owe you the best Christmas present ever,” he says, pressing a kiss to Zuko’s cheek. Zuko’s face burns, and he dazedly brings his hand up to touch the place where Sokka’s lips just were. All Zuko wants for Christmas is Sokka.
He’s screwed.
*
When Sokka walks out of his room, wearing a dark red silky button down and slacks that cling to his lean legs, Zuko almost passes out. There’s even a little silver tie holding his hair in its ponytail, and Zuko wants to rip it out and run his hands through it while his legs are wrapped around Sokka’s waist. Instead he just coughs into his fist, forcing his eyes back to meet his.
He smooths down his tie, hoping Sokka notices how much effort he put into this. His hair is gelled messily the way he always compliments, and Zuko even got his shoes shined. “You look so nice,” he coos, walking over to him with a click-clack on the ground.
His heart pounds against his ribs and sweat prickles over his body as Sokka rubs his thumb over Zuko’s eyebrow before tapping his cheek. “You-you look really good,” he says, knots twisting in-between his ribs. “Thanks Zuko,” he grins at him before grabbing his coat and a tray of cookies. They’re pre-made, but no one has to know.
His nerves only grow stronger as Sokka drives them to the office. No one is going to believe someone like him is dating Sokka. His stomach clenches with anxiety, which Sokka can clearly sense because he pats his knee. “If anyone asks we just tell them we’ve been together for a few months, ok? It’s gonna be fine.”
He nods warily, still unconvinced. When they arrive and walk in, Sokka loops his hand through his elbow and holds onto his bicep. Zuko wants to lace their fingers together. There’s a dance floor in the middle of the room, Christmas music playing through speakers, and a bunch of food and mulled wine out. The whole place is covered in colorful string lights and little trees covered in cotton balls. Zuko can’t help but smile at how cute it looks.
Zuko feels a little more at ease when people smile at them, waving at Sokka before turning back to their conversations. “Oh, there he is!” He says as they walk a little more, gesturing towards a man by the dessert table chatting with a blonde guy. Zuko’s stomach drops again. No...no this can’t be true.
“That’s Jet?” He gasps, turning to Sokka with wide eyes. He looks confused. “He’s… really attractive. I wasn’t expecting that.” Sokka’s expression softens, and he smiles fondly. “Zuko, you-” whatever he’s about to say is cut off by the man in question walking over, who clears his throat, suddenly standing in front of them.
“Sokka,” he says, looking him up and down. Zuko swallows thickly. “This must be your date then?” Sokka nods, grip on Zuko’s arm tightening. “And how did you get together?” Jet asks. He’s smiling, but his eyes tell a different story. Zuko finds himself sympathizing. Losing out on a chance with Sokka would be devastating to anyone.
“Well-it’s funny really, he-Zuko, um,” Sokka starts, but Zuko can tell his stuttering is making Jet skeptical. “Why don’t I tell it sweetheart?” He kisses Sokka’s hand reassuringly and wraps his arm around his waist, stroking his hip. “It’s a little cliche, but we’ve known each other since we were kids. I think I fell in love with Sokka the second I saw him on the playground, trying to hang upside down from the monkeybars while a whole crowd watched him,” Zuko chuckles, glancing briefly at Sokka who’s looking at him with wide eyes. "He thought I was trying to challenge him or something but really I was just awe-struck." Zuko can feel Sokka tense beside him, but pushes through anyways.
“Then we became friends, then best friends, then house mates, but he’d always dated other girls and guys so I figured he would never feel the same. I was totally content with just being the best friend. But then one night a few months ago we were drunk and he told me he liked me back. And the rest is history,” Zuko says as casually as possible, grinning at Jet even though he kind of wants to die. “Hmm. Adorable,” Jet says, looking unimpressed. It gets him to leave them alone though, so Zuko’s happy until he remembers he just confessed his life-long love for Sokka in front of his coworker.
“Hey, wanna dance?” He asks quickly, and he looks up to find Sokka already staring down at him, lips parted. The tension between them is so thick that he can’t breathe, hope blooming in his chest at the thought that he might finally want Zuko too. Sokka doesn’t say anything though, just nods once and grabs his hand loosely before leading him into the middle of the room. He ignores how obvious it must be that his pulse is racing and holds Sokka’s hands with sweaty palms.
There’s a few other people swaying and dancing happily and his heart swells. He desperately wishes this was real, that Sokka really was his boyfriend and they were just a normal couple dancing together and could go home together and kiss and cuddle at the end of the night.
And suddenly, he just can’t take it anymore. He buries his face into Sokka’s neck, too damn cowardly to look into his eyes. “Sokka, what I said was true,” he whispers, nerves clawing at his throat. “I’ve loved you for so long it’s just become a part of my normal day. I can’t remember what it was like to not be in love with you. I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing you so I’ve never said anything.” Zuko can feel him stiffen in his arms, so he pulls away. “I’m sorry.” He chokes out, extracting himself from Sokka’s hold and walking away quickly before he can see him cry.
He pushes through the crowd and finds his way outside, standing in the falling snow to try and cool off his flushed cheeks as hot tears splash over them. Zuko wants to punch the brick wall, frustration and hurt building in the pit of his stomach. It feels like his heart has been ripped out and crushed. How long does he have to feel like this? It’s been almost twenty years since they met and his love for him has only gotten stronger and stronger. Why does he have to be tortured every day? Why can’t he just move on?
The door opens and he turns to find Sokka, standing there with no jacket on. His protective instincts take over and he brushes away the dull ache of anger, pushing off the wall. “Sokka, you’re gonna freeze,” he says, watching his lips tremble from the cold. He huffs and takes off his coat, walking over to place it on his shivering body.
Sokka’s breath condenses in the frigid air in white puffs as he just watches him, blinking down with snowflakes in his eyelashes. The street light above them is reflected in his eyes, shining bright blue. “Zuko…” he says, voice breaking off.
“I just need a sec. You can go back inside, I’m fine,” he sighs after he doesn’t say anything else. Sokka shakes his head. “I don’t want to go back inside. Zuko, I love you too, you idiot,” he laughs, a tear rolling off his sharp jaw. Zuko feels the wind get knocked out of his chest as he steps closer towards him.
“Really?” He breathes, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek and brush the wetness away. Sokka nods, biting his lip as Zuko grins. “I love you so much, Sokka,” he whispers against his mouth before kissing him desperately. Zuko’s coat falls off his shoulders onto the snow but neither of them notice, tongues sliding warmly against each other.
“This isn’t just for pretend right?” Zuko asks after pulling away for air, leaning his forehead against his. “Absolutely not. Come back to my place?” Sokka teases and Zuko nods rapidly, bursting with joy as Sokka pulls him down to kiss him again.