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Sometimes, packages meant for Peter would show up on Tony’s doorstep. Which was perfectly alright with him. Whether by mistake or intentional, Tony was less than bothered by the fact that their lives were so intertwined at this point that he and May basically shared both custody and their homes. The trouble was, Tony often wasn’t given forewarning on whether a package was sent to him on purpose (to hide from May, which was his job as Cool Dad) or just because he submitted the wrong billing address.
Peter had never really ordered anything bad, so far at least, and so Tony often just opened the packages that came to him, assuming that Peter wouldn’t be bothered by it. He never had been, in the past. Well- mostly. There was that one time with the packer-mishap, but Tony now knows what they- and a plethora of other gender-affirming items- are, and it’s been smooth-sailing ever since.
So when a small to medium sized box with Peter’s name on it arrived one Monday afternoon whilst he was down in the lab with said teen, he didn’t hesitate to have it sent over. Peter’s back was twisted away from the surface that it had been set down on, as he was in the midst of finagling with his web formula, and Tony plucked some scissors from one of the table compartments before sliding the blade down the middle.
Peter, upon hearing the noise, turned around, abandoning the project in question. His expression immediately changed from one of confusion to one of horror, as Tony pulled something out of the styrofoam packaging.
“Mr. Stark! ” He shrieked, sweeping the box onto the floor and trying to grab the item from his mentor. Tony looked at it and laughed.
“Do you really need another packer?” He asked, trying to tease the obviously distraught sixteen-year-old.
“It’s not a packer, dumbass! I mean- oh, God!”
“Language.” Tony reminded him, smile now slipping from his face.
Why was Peter so upset over a-
Oh.
“Ah.” Tony said weakly, dropping it onto the table as gently as he possibly could, because, to be quite honest, he felt like throwing it across the room. “I wish I hadn’t opened that.”
“You could’ve asked, Jesus.” Peter complained, still in that whiny tone of voice he took on when upset.
“I- I’m sorry. I… should’ve asked. I’ll ask next time. But- I mean- you could’ve told me?” He added, trying to take on a sterner, more dad-esque tone. “Y’know, as your mentor -”
Peter made a face.“I’m supposed to be the guy you go to for this stuff. Like- I know our experiences might differ in the gender department, but I just- I don’t know, thought that you might still want to come to me with questions about sexuality.” Peter crossed his arms over his chest.
“I don’t know- it’s just awkward.” He scrunched his face. “Especially being trans- I’m not supposed to like that kinda stuff.” Tony snorted, and when Peter gave him a weird look, he clarified.
“Well, if you’ll excuse my language- I call horseshit. You can’t control who you like or what your body likes, no matter male, female, or whoever. It’s all just neuro-physical reactions- you should know that, Midtown kid.” Peter sat on the thought for a second before shrugging.
“I guess you’re right. But it’s still- awkward- talking about, y’know, this kinda stuff with you.” Tony brushed a strand of hair out of his face.
“Look- can we start by calling a spade a spade? “ This kinda stuff ” is sex. Very unfortunately, you will probably start doing it soon, if you haven’t already. Also very unfortunately, I appear to have recently been in possession of a dildo.” Peter visibly cringed, kicking the box back over to Tony, who leaned down, picked it up, and repackaged the dildo in question. “You need someone to talk to that isn’t May? I’m here. Lay it on me.”
“If you absolutely insist -” Peter paused for a moment, visibly grappling with his next words. “I probably do need help with something. You’ve been with dudes, yeah?” Tony nodded slowly, trying to decide if he regretted establishing himself as some kinda teen intimacy guru. “Well, there’s this one guy-”
“Hey FRIDAY? Tell Pepper we might be late for dinner.”
“-and he, like, took me to get froyo the other day, which- what does that even mean ?”