Work Text:
EB: hey maul. It’s been a few days since anyone’s heard from you and Kanan wants to know if Kenobi killed you. Can you raise the alarm for the living?
ML: stil living
EB: !!!
EB: you’re alive!!
ML: thas what I said
EB: where are you???
ML: sleep
EB: I thought evil doesn’t rest?
ML: evil tire
EB: is evil also dehydrated?
ML: TIRE
EB: okay okay I get it you’re tired.
EB: but also please consider: Evil doesn’t have to be tired if evil grows weary of hunting the Nemesis through sand for 45 years.
EB: if Evil would like, Smaller Evils can appeal to Kanan to allow Greater Evil some time to rest and sleep and like, fill cells with fluid.
ML: im the greater evil
EB: yes
ML: good
EB: Ahsoooooooka
AT: Eeeeeeeeeezra
EB: maul stopped texting me again can you check on him when you go to check on M. Kenobi?
AT: he stopped texting you because he’s warding Vader away from the perimeter of Obi-Wan’s existential crisis hut again.
EB: you are amazing. How do you know this?
AT: set up a baby cam for the old guys.
EB: genius
AT: you’ll be pleased to know that they’ve been cohabitating lately. Sharing resources etc.
EB: is vader scared of maul?
AT: I wouldn’t say scared
AT: more like idk, shamed?
EB: Kanan is telling me that if you don’t say more he’s going to explode
AT: lol
AT: well he generally tells Vader that he’s too young to involve himself in a real feud so to go back and play with his toy soldiers but some other highlights have been ‘purse dog’ ‘baby sith’ ‘try hard’ ‘mama’s boy.’
EB: omg
AT: yeah this is hysterical because Maul’s an ex-mama’s boy
EB: OMG
AT: yeah it’s a fun story. Maul’s mom’s a witch who lost him to the emperor in a bad bet when he was teeny bitty, so you know. He does actually have the high ground here.
EB: teeny bitty maul...
AT: I know, right? If we could turn back time🎶
EB: Kanan says it’s inappropriate for a jedi to be shacked up with an ex-sith
AT: Its also inappropriate to ram a ship into a cargo vessel, so you tell Caleb to pick his battles.
EB: heehee okay
EB: MAUUUUUUUL
ML: what
EB: I heard you got chickensssssss
EB: I wanna pet one can I come stay at your place?
ML: no
EB: why not?? are you not my greater evil master?
ML: bastards here
EB: Master Kenobi? It’s okay he likes jedi. I’ll wear my cute padawan face.
ML: praise
EB: thank you
ML: good work
EB: thank you thank you
ML: v polite
EB: I’m trying to be
ML: will find foul
AT: why the fuck does Maul text like that?
EB: I thought you were writing to yell at me
AT: oh I am
AT: but first
AT: maul, my friend, my guy
EB: Kanan thinks he might be dyslexic
AT: ah.
EB: I think he just can’t be bothered with grammar with us. It’s fine we can understand him when we need to.
AT: oh, on that note, I have some phenomenal news for you when we are through with this shaming, Ezra.
EB: !! can I have it now?
AT: no. First, you must be punished.
EB: Everyone is terrible but my half-evil ex-sith desert man.
SW: that must be really hard for you
EB: it IS
SW: you must be going through a lot
EB: I am 🥺
SW: especially to have made the mistake of thinking I care
EB: you always know just what to say, sabine
SW: stop talking to me
EB: Master Kenobi?
OK: Ahoy! - OWK
EB: skskssksksks
EB: I love when you do that
OK: 😊 - OWK
EB: I have a question for you if that’s okay?
OK: First, your master you must ask. – OWK
EB: I already tried, and he told me that I can’t use the gun so it’s useless. I wanted to talk to maul but he’s not answering my texts. Is he okay?
EB: Master Kenobi?
EB: hello?
AT: they got holonet service
EB: WHAT
AT: I know. it only took 14 fucking years
AT: I need you to know something Ezra
EB: is this going to come after a punishment too?
AT: have you done anything wrong?
EB: yes
AT: does it involve a gun?
EB: maybe
AT: shame
EB: I’m shamed
AT: punish
EB: I’m punished
AT: my work here is done
AT: anyways back in the day, Maul was holonet famous by accident. We should probably prepare for him to become holonet famous again by accident.
EB: I’m literally sitting here speechless
EB: Sabine sabine sabine sabine sabine you have to watch this
SW: EZRA.
EB: yes?
SW: I am happy that you have discovered a new side of your angry alternate mentor.
EB: yes
SW: stop sending me his videos. 2 Old People have looked over my shoulder and said the 20s are coming back into style
EB: That’s because they are
EB: I sent them to Maul. Obviously he used to know how to work the holonet
SW: I don’t think he did. I think he just knew how to turn on a datapad and hit post
EB: no no no look at the lighting tho
SW: I can’t see through the rambling
EB: the lighting. The comments. Every zabrak in the galaxy wants to make Maul their husband
SW: well it’s a good day to be Kenobi then isn’t it?
EB: oh my GOD
EB: Maul are you and Kenobi an item?
ML: time bomb
EB: no like an item
EB: like are you two romantically raising cattle and chickens out in the desert? Or are you platonically raising cattle and chickens out in the desert?
ML: huh
EB: is that a thoughtful huh or a what-are-you-saying huh?
ML: 2nd
EB: do you want to kiss Kenobi? Is that why you hunt him?
ML: no
ML: he cut off my legs
ML: so he will die
EB: oh
EB: so is that a romantic he-will-die or a platonic he-will-die?
EB: wait no Maul come back!!! Master, come baaaaaaack.
AT: Obi-Wan has remembered how to text. thank FUCK. I thought I was going to have to kill him.
KJ: I thought his hard slide into Grandmaster behavior was charming
AT: shut up youngling
KJ: ; w ;
AT: yeah go on and cry about it
KJ: I’m telling your master
AT: go on
KJ: I’m posting it on his stupid fucking propaganda page
AT: yeah I’m waiting
KJ: done
AT: did it make you feel better?
KJ: yes
AT: tattletale
EB: so idk how to explain this in a way that you’ll get, Sabine, but Kanan and Ahsoka are at war
SW: ???!!!
EB: yeah like. I guess what happened was that she was bullying him and he went to Vader’s H-bit account and posted a comment telling on her for being mean
SW: aren’t they supposed to be the responsible ones?
EB: yeah and Vader ANSWERED it
SW: NO SHIT?
EB: he told Kanan that snitches get stitches like WHAT
SW: I hate that it’s funny I hate that it’s funny I HATE THAT IT’S FUNNY
EB: Vader, sir, you are the ultimate snitch
SW: I feel like I understand Ahsoka better already. He’s going to hunt them down through their IP addresses now tho
EB: oh 100%
EB: maul can you keep Vader from killing Ahsoka?
ML: y
EB: she keeps starting shit with him and his fans on his H-bit account
ML: good
EB: I see that you’re a proponent of online trolling
ML: send me a link to fuckfaces acct
SW: ezra
EB: hm?
SW: don’t play cute
EB: I don’t play, I simply am.
SW: Maul’s gone through every video for 10 years ezra
EB: I know. He’s having a great time. It’s good for him to experience positive emotions every now and then
SW: he’s just commenting ‘bitch’ on all of them.
EB: He posted a video of his chickens the other day. People remember him!
SW: Ezra. This is dangerous.
EB: nah
SW: Ezra, Maul has 2.3 million followers.
EB: WHAT
SW: I checked this morning because I was curious and like.
EB: holy shit how did he manage that?
SW: All those bitches...
EB: you know what? I bet a lot of them are his old followers. Ahsoka said that he used to be holonet famous by accident.
SW: how does one become famous by accident?
EB: did you ever look at how many views those videos I sent you had?
SW: no
EB: go look
SW: you cannot be serious
EB: all the moms in the galaxy still think he’s hot
EB: now he’s hot with chickens
EB: he’s drawing in complex audiences, Sabine
SW: does he know that people only want him for the dick he doesn’t have?
EB: probably
EB: and I think its beautiful that he doesn’t care
KJ: Can someone tell Maul that he’s going to get Kenobi killed if he keeps on like this?
AT: why would I tell him something he already knows?
KJ: because you love and care about your grandmaster?
AT: *ex
KJ: grandfather?
AT: ew
AT: whatever
AT: I can tell him, but he’ll say that that’s the point
KJ: it’s the due diligence that matters here
AT: checked in.
AT: Obi-Wan says that they can’t film the chickens if no one holds them.
KJ: so this is a team effort?
AT: I think they think that the account is one purely about the fowl
KJ: with side political rants?
AT: to be fair
AT: every video has at least one chicken
KJ: you know what? They do have that on us.
EB: maul maul maul maul maul
ML: yes
EB: can I come stay with you guys?? Please please pleeeease?
ML: no
ML: Kenobi will corrupt u
EB: you mean more than Kanan?
ML: ...
ML: mind changed
EB: YES
ML: one mo
ML: confirm. Bastard consents
SW: I’m so jealous. let me come too. ask them Ezra. If you love me, you’ll ask them
EB: k
AT: children
SW: I’m innocent
EB: I’m not
AT: they are not trustworthy guardians
AT: they are burrowing owls. Big big eyes. Sneaky sneaky feet. They will fuck you up and dig a hole to hide in. Please understand what I am trying to tell you.
EB: this sounds like a Future Us problem, not a Present You problem.
SW: unless you admit that you like and care about us?
AT: not a chance
AT: have fun in the retirement home. Call me if a homicide gets under way.
EB: [image]
EB: [image]
EB: [image]
KJ: you are trying to give me heartburn? Is that what you’re doing?
EB: send these to grandmaster Billaba. I know you send her pictures.
KJ: she’s dead
EB: yeah okay that’s why her contact is in your pad
KJ: you unlocked my pad?
EB: you send her pictures of Hera. Send the bird
KJ: no no, we’re staying on the breaches of privacy thing. Let’s work with this.
EB: UUUUUUUUUUgh they aren’t even FOR you. Maul says that he knows the old old old old old man you talk to will get the joke.
KJ: I don’t know what he’s talking about
EB: Mace? Windu?
KJ: EZRA.
KJ: delete that message RIGHT NOW.
EB: okay?? okay okay??
EB: it’s deleted?
EB: sorry..
KJ: its fine. Just. we have to protect our elders. They’re the only ones holding this shit together for the rest of us.
EB: sorry
KJ: its okay just. that’s your great grandmaster. He’s getting up there in age. We don’t want Vader or any of his dogs going after him. He’s important to us as a people. Like Master Kenobi.
EB: okay
KJ: I didn’t mean to shout at you. I’m sorry
KJ: one day, when things are safer, I’ll introduce you to them, Ezra. But until then, for their safety and yours, we’ve got to keep apart. Okay?
EB: okay
KJ: kid..
EB: the chicken’s name is Murder
EB: because she’s most fowl
EB: Maul says it’s a good joke
EB: Kenobi came up with it. it’s the only thing they both think is funny I think.
KJ: we need to separate those two before they start forgiving each other and joining forces.
EB: I like them together as it is. They make each other less idk, like. not scary. But sort of more approachable or something.
KJ: Master Kenobi is very approachable.
EB: he’s not.
KJ: he’s just a little rusty. He’s been out there by himself for a while
EB: yeah so um Kanan? He talks to himself. Like. All the time. Idk if that’s a normal him thing or a normal jedi thing, but in my experience, I don’t fuck with people who’re that deep in their own heads.
KJ: ...
EB: Maul says he’s talking to dead people
KJ: how much is ‘all the time?’
EB: Like, at least once an hour.
KJ: goddamnit
KJ: hey
AT: hey yourself
KJ: Kenobi’s got a foot in the Force
AT: it’s where he thrives. It says so on his seed packet
KJ: he’s talking to the dead
AT: oh
AT: okay
AT: that’s new
AT: which dead?
KJ: unclear. Maul’s monitoring it.
AT: you’re going to make me talk to maul for this?
KJ: as if you and Maul aren’t spamming Vader online as a unified front
AT: it’s not our fault we’re hot and interesting and right
KJ: Ezra found out about Master Windu.
AT: !! how??
KJ: he broke into my pad
AT: wow. That kid’s really something.
KJ: should I tell Windu about Kenobi? Should someone go spend some time with him?
AT: unsure. I’ll do some recon to see what’s what.
KJ: hey Ezra
KJ: Ezra?
KJ: Ezra..
EB: THEY HAD CHICKS
EB: THERE ARE BABIES LOOK AT THEM THEY LOOK LIKE MONSTERS
KJ: they sure do
KJ: hey listen can you tell Maul to answer Ahsoka? She’s trying to get ahold of him
EB: he can’t talk. The cat keeps trying to eat the babies and they’re having a meeting of minds about it.
KJ: wh
KJ: Maul, you can’t put a suggestion on a cat
EB: oh its not a suggestion. It’s an order.
KJ: I’m leaving that.
KJ: can you do me a favor and ask Kenobi who exactly it is he’s talking to?
EB: yeah
EB: Nevermind, he doesn’t want to answer. He gave me and Sabine chicks instead.
KJ: that’s what I was afraid of.
EB: he’s sick, isn’t he?
KJ: maybe not sick. But possibly a little too tied up in the Force than is great for him. How much is he meditating?
EB: I dunno
KJ: okay different question. Does he look like he’s sleeping?
EB: I don’t KNOW. Here I’ll ask him.
KJ: be subtle be SUBTLE
EB: he asked if I’m a cop
KJ: huuuuurgh
AT: cool so we are in prolonged meltdown mode over here. I hate to say this but we might owe Maul for this one.
KJ: prolonged meltdown could be positive, yes?
AT: sweet summer child, to whom do you speak?
KJ: I’m having hope
AT: stop that, it’s a bad look on you
KJ: the hope or the smile?
AT: He’s talking to his dead master.
KJ: normal. Cool. Healthy.
AT: yeah Obi-Wan claims he’s a force ghost and that yoda taught him how to talk to him.
KJ: Why would yoda do that?
AT: What other questions do you have for the void?
KJ: why do bad things happen to good people?
AT: I’ll submit them in mass. Keep going.
KJ: Can Maul see the force ghost?
AT: uuuuuuuh unclear. I can’t tell if he’s talking to him to like, argue with Obi-Wan or if he can actually see him.
KJ: love their growing codependence.
AT: same.
AT: I’m going to stick a around a few days to observe.
SW: I miss the chicks ☹
EB: I KNOW
SW: I want chicks!! Give us the CHICKS!!
EB: GIVE US THE CHICKS
SW: Did Ahsoka go with you?
EB: no, she said she’s staying behind for another day
SW: ugh jealous
EB: I knooooow
EB: T-T-T-T-Tano!!!
AT: No casualties
EB: picturesssssss
AT: Ezra, I need you to talk to someone for me.
KJ: you’re going to be cool
EB: so cool. I’m so cool.
KJ: you’re going to be seen and not heard
EB: I’m going to shut up and nod
KJ: if she asks you a question, you bow first, then answer.
EB: how low?
KJ: just your head
EB: got it
KJ: You need robes. They’re going to think I’m abusing you
EB: !! I get??? Padawan robes???
KJ: I am sighing
EB: ME?? I GET ROBES??
KJ: just for this meeting. ONLY for this meeting. If anyone sees you outside in them, you’re inquisitor food.
EB: I get robes :3
EB: Sabine.
SW: how’d it go?
EB: 1) I got to wear robes. 2) my old person is the best old person
SW: no shit?
EB: YEAH.
EB: she’s SO COOL.
EB: she gave me a hug 🥺 she told me I’m bright in the force 😭
SW: this guy gets one ba’buir hug and he’s weeping. An embarrassment, Ezra.
EB: IM AN ORPHAN LET ME HAVE THIS
SW: What’d they say about our dear desert hermit?
EB: oh
EB: they said ‘well that’s on brand’ and ‘probably should touch base.’
EB: they’re worried that master yoda gave him an assignment he didn’t give everyone else.
SW: that guy sounds like a bag of cats
EB: a little bit. They’re sending out a big famous master to help, though, so I think everything will be alright.
AT: Caleb.
KJ: what happened?
AT: Caleb, I’m crying.
KJ: oh fuck. what happened?
AT: They sent plo
KJ: AHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA
AT: it’s a fucking creche over here
AT: ‘that is a very nice bird. Do you like birds? I do like them, too. How many kinds of bird do you know?’
KJ: oh no he’s going so hard so early
AT: Maul’s caught onto us. He’s getting territorial about other people touching his shit.
KJ: Plo’s going to be out there for 7 years
AT: pretty much.
PK: confirmation received.
MW: it’s Q?
PK: as far as I can tell.
MW: tell him to leave that boy alone. He’s already more than traumatized.
PK: unexpected turn of events. Q is minding his youngest. Previous isolation has led to concerning behaviors. Q has requested that Maul remain unbothered and nearby. He is grounded in the living force.
MW: Maul is?
PK: stronger than anticipated. It is familiar to young Kenobi and has been helpful in keeping him from spirals of despair. Q is attempting to coach him towards letting go of the grief, but it is still too much to bear. Maul has not shown signs of lethal intent and is unwittingly offering stability.
MW: one moment, I am checking the sky for vertically bound swine
PK: they take flight at dusk. You will need binoculars.
MW: noted. Thank you for your report.
PK: I am concerned about Vader’s fixation on this place. Might I request a distraction?
MW: distraction granted.
PK: thank you
KJ: Ezra we have an assignment
EB: a what?
KJ: an assignment. We have been assigned a mission.
EB: US?
KJ: yes
EB: by the big guys? The real deal? A real mission?
KJ: yes
EB: omg I’m a real jedi
KJ: *padawan
EB: what’s the assignment?
KJ: oh, you know.
KJ: pissing off Darth Vader.
AT: hey hey brothers in arms
EB: WE HAVE A MISSION
AT: we sure do
EB: are you helping us?? Jedi Associate?
AT: I have been paid handsomely for my services, so yes, Padawan Bridger. I will provide back up.
KJ: who paid you?
AT: I don’t kiss and tell
KJ: it was your finder wasn’t it?
AT: some bonds are eternal.
KJ: what’d he request?
AT: pissing contest on scale of 1200
KJ: I will never understand him
AT: Some aren’t meant to.
PK: good morning, young people. I am told that you have agreed to carry out my humble request. For this, I am grateful.
AT: good morning, Master.
KJ: good morning, Master.
EB: hello!!
PK: ?
KJ: this is my padawan.
PK: !
KJ: he’s still learning the etiquette; forgive him
PK: you are old enough now for a padawan, Knight Dume?
KJ: yes?
PK: every blow is greater than the last.
AT: SKSKSKSKSKSSK
EB: did I fuck up?
KJ: no.
AT: Master Plo Koon is simply feeling very old.
PK: It seems only yesterday that Mace was celebrating a grandpadawan.
KJ: That’s because it was only yesterday that he was celebrating a great-grandpadawan.
PK: ?
AT: are you not in that chat, Master?
PK: which chat?
KJ: I’m
AT: uh
KJ: so about this mission
PK: there is another chat?
KJ: we were thinking that we’d break into the comm channels.
PK: I am hurt. Scorned. Abandoned.
AT: I’ll add you
PK: betrayed
AT: hold on, I’m adding you I’m adding you
AT: oh I can’t?
PK: I have done nothing to warrant this.
MW: you know what you did.
KJ: !!
AT: UH
EB: who’s this?
PK: I am innocent.
MW: blocked
PK: you will live to regret your actions.
MW: blocked
PK: I will simply wait until your last breath. It will come sooner than mine.
MW: blocked
PK: fine then
MW: glad we cleared this up. Good day, the rest of you, and good luck. Comm channels are supported. Plo has the details of those operating inside the hulls of our enemies. Other assistance may be requested as necessary. Give them hell.
AT: will do, Master.
KJ: copy that, Grandmaster.
EB: wait I’m confused. who are we talking to?
EB: Maul do you know a lot of jedi?
ML: ye
EB: there’s one here in a chat I’m in named PK, do you know what that stands for?
ML: kel dor?
EB: idk
ML: kel dor.
ML: proceed with caution.
EB: okay
EB: oh
EB: do you want to pick the soundtrack that we’re going to blast into all the imperial ships?
ML: my time has come
AT: who the fuck made this playlist?
KJ: too late to change it now, let’s go.
EB: they loved it
ML: good
ML: another.
EB: thank you, sir.
SW: hey Ezra
EB: yeah?
SW: I know that stunt everyone was talking about the other day was you guys but like
SW: where you get the scream-remixes?
EB: maul
SW: Can we get the list?
EB: no he told me that if I’m going to have taste in music, it can’t start with this stuff. I can give you the Building Taste playlist he gave me tho?
SW: yes please
AT: Maul
ML: hm
AT: Why do you have the Wheels on the Bus in your HATE LOVE LOVE HATE playlist?
ML: it’s a bop
AT: I see.
AT: every new day I know you makes me wish you were on our side.
ML: tough tits 4 all
AT: so true. Thank you for your insight.
OK: I have lost my companion.
AT: oh? Lost him to what?
OK: ☹
EB: hi Master Kenobi!
OK: I have lost Maul
EB: is he sleeping in the storeroom again?
OK: no...
EB: are you worried?
OK: bad feeling ☹
EB: its probably just the shits
KJ: Ezra.
EB: what
KJ: Master Kenobi has visions. Be respectful.
EB: oh
EB: in that case he’s probably dead
AT: EZRA.
KJ: EZRA.
OK: I hope not.
PK: he’s not lost.
OK: !!
ML: sup
OK: where are you??
ML: state of disdain
ML: south of joy
AT: You guys know you can track each others’ comms, yes?
ML: found cat
OK: you found her!!
ML: still got all bones
OK: good!!
ML: k bye
OK: I’ll meet you
ML: inquisitor.
OK: oh nevermind then. Have fun.
ML: escorting kel dor
PK: you’re escorting me, are you?
AT: maul what
ML: eta 4hr
OK: okay no biting no scratching please you don’t know where they’ve been
OK: this applies to both of you
ML: dont tell me what to do
OK: it’s been 5 hrs
ML: inquisitor
ML: kel dor escorted
PK: I have apparently been escorted back to my ship.
ML: idiot won’t leave
PK: we are in disagreement as to if the inquisitor will treat Maul humanely
ML: idiot won’t leave
OK: Master Plo, if you would kindly leave
PK: I shall not. Both of us remain in a precarious position here.
OK: Maul’s alright
ML: I tell him this he doesnt listen
OK: they’re gathering because they find safety in numbers around him. Its best to let him go on his way. he likes inquisitors
ML: cant get enough
AT: Master Plo, they really don’t want Maul, half of them are scared of him because he keeps showing up and terrorizing them
PK: beg your pardon?
AT: disarming, de-toothing, de-booting, the whole deal.
OK: my kitten my kitten my kitten she needs me
ML: she is shirt cat
OK: ohhh shirt cat
EB: Sabine the old people are being cute in the jedi chat and you’re missing it
SW: impossible
EB: no for real. Maul put Chicken Foot in his shirt and now him and Kenobi are just chanting ‘shirt cat’ at each other.
SW: that’s a little cute
EB: they’re freaking out the Important Master who’s joined us
EB: I think this guy thinks he needs to protect Maul
SW: he doesn’t know Maul then
EB: yeah weirdly I think Maul is trying to protect him too?
SW: ...say that again
EB: you heard me
SW: Maul doesn’t protect anyone but Chicken Foot and Dora and Snack
EB: I’m telling you
SW: Liar
SW: Ahsoka, Ezra’s telling lies
AT: what else is new?
EB: I’M NOT
SW: he says Maul’s trying to protect a ba’buir.
AT: you watch your mouth, that’s my jedi dad
SW: sorry, ‘Soka’s buir
AT: that’s general buir to you
SW: sorry general buir
EB: bitty little Ahsoka...
AT: I could have squashed you both like bugs when I was half your height
SW: yea yea we know. Anyways. Ezra’s telling lies. He says Maul’s protecting this general buir guy
AT: weirdly, it seems that he is actually doing that. unsure why. Although Master Plo does tend to have that effect on people.
AT: possible force suggestion can’t be ruled out either
EB: Maul’s gone soft because of the chickens
AT: that is another possibility. Or he’s worried Chicken Foot is having a bad day out.
SW: we didn’t even consider Chicken Foot’s feelings. How can we call ourselves men?
ML: the idiot has left
PK: there’s no need for name calling
ML: I curse ur flight
OK: don’t be nasty
ML: I curse UR life
OK: I curse your cat
ML: how dare u
OK: I curse your hen
ML: cannot believe this
OK: I’m cursing your boot
ML: what has it done 2 u
OK: today? Nothing. Yesterday?
ML: die
OK: you first dearest
ML: never
OK: bring me my shirt cat
ML: she is not urs u lost custody
ML: shes MY shirt cat
OK: we’ll see about that
ML: home
OK: with extra lightsabers even
EB: can I have one?
ML: ye
KJ: absolutely not
ML: eat shit jedi
OK: was that kind? Was that loving? Was that helpful?
ML: no
OK: say sorry
ML: eat shit jedi
EB: please never change, great evil master