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The night had started off with strategic planning and more responsibility than a handful of young adults should have. Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Eddie had gathered in the Harringtons’ living room for what was supposed to be an all-nighter of brainstorming Vecna attack plans. They had left the younger kids out of their devising tonight in an attempt to save what they could of their “innocent childhood” and sometimes big kids just needed their “big kid time”. Plus, as Robin had put it, wouldn’t too many late nights like, stunt their growth or something?
It was now closing in on 4am and the coffee table was littered with papers, pens, and coffee cups. However, the caffeine hadn’t done its job as well as they had all hoped. With Nancy curled up on the couch and Eddie with his head hung in an armchair, Steve and Robin were the only two left awake.
They were laying on their backs on the floor in the dim room. Robin, living up to her name, had slowly accumulated various blankets and pillows during the night and had built herself a nest. She altruistically let Steve join her under the condition he didn’t hog all of her collection. He had argued, since it was his house, he technically had full dibs, but Robin hadn’t been persuaded.
As the others had fallen asleep, the duo’s conversation had moved away from monster fighting and with it, seemingly all sensical thought. They had spent the last ten minutes in a hushed, heated debate over ice cream flavour rankings.
“There’s no way you can put tiger tail above death by chocolate, black liquorice is so gross!” Robin laughed quietly, astonished. “And death by chocolate is deathly boring! Sorry my taste buds like a little more variety,” Steve sassed back.
Robin rolled her eyes and the two of them laughed a little more, their heads foggy with the lack of sleep. Steve shoved his shoulder into hers as a reminder to not wake their friends and they caught their breath.
Eventually, their faces and bodies relaxed and they laid in the comfortable silence. Robin’s eyelids were heavy but open, looking up at the ceiling. Whispers of thoughts moved through her head like a lazy river: the taste of room-temperature coffee, the comforting weight of the blue quilt she was under, how cute Vickie had looked in her new sweater on Friday.
Beside her, Steve’s brain was rolling thoughts like a slow rock tumbler, methodic but repetitive. The all-nighter had weakened the walls of his compartmentalizations and questions shoved onto the back burner started to make their way to the front.
He had wondered about something since his and Robin’s conversation after escaping from the Russians, but hadn’t known how to bring it up, if ever. It wasn’t really all that important, much more pressing matters had been happening. But now, with a hazy head and loose mouth, he let the question out into the room; “how did you know you liked girls?”
Robin’s lazy river halted. She stayed quiet for a moment, her eyes still on the ceiling. “Same as you,” she replied, hoping that it sounded casual. Though she was sure the other two were asleep, she wasn’t stoked to have her sensitive information said aloud in their presence. She didn’t necessarily think Nancy and Eddie would hate her for liking girls, but you could never be too careful. If they were to find out, it would ideally be on her own terms.
Steve didn’t seem to pick up on the tightness in her voice, his brain was still half shut off. To Robin’s dismay, he continued; “but like… how could you tell? Like when you saw good looking people, how could you tell it was only the girls that you liked liked?”
Jesus Christ, Robin thought to herself, if this is how my second and third ever friends find out, I’m going to kill the first one.
“I don’t know” she said with an awkward, laying down shrug. “Like sure, I have eyes, I can tell when a guy’s haircut is ugly or not. But girls are attractive. When I see a good looking guy I think “good for him”, when I see a good looking girl I think “good for me, thank you for blessing my eyes”, and all that jazz,” she waved her hands for emphasis.
Steve sat on that for a minute. He wasn’t sure if she was getting what he was asking, but he also didn’t want to keep prying. He was genuinely curious to learn, but was afraid she would think he was trying to invalidate her. He decided to give it one more go before putting it to rest (as they should probably do with themselves).
“Say…” he started again, trying to come up with a hypothetical that made enough sense. “Say you saw an attractive girl and guy, how do you know that you’d only date the girl?”
Robin turned her head to look at him, a confused and appalled expression on her face. “Because, she’d be the only one I’d find attractive. Do you think just because I’m a girl, I have to find the guy attractive, too? Has the concept of homosexuality completely escaped you, Harrington?” They were friends, he respected her. She knew this. But sometimes she swore this dingus was going to be the death of her (not even considering it was through him she became “enlightened” of the true nature of Hawkins).
“No!” Steve said a little too loudly. “I get it. I just…” he trailed off, his brain trying to chug up the hill of coherent thoughts. Maybe the concept of homosexuality had escaped him. Did being gay mean that you only found the same sex attractive? Were straight people the only ones who could tell if anyone was attractive? Comparing himself to Robin had helped him understand her, accept her. They both liked girls, he got that. But now, he was realizing they also had differences. They could both look at a hot girl and think damn, but could she really not tell when a guy looked good too?
Steve had stayed quiet for too long. His mind buzzed with semi-realized thoughts, trying to find the best way to continue. Only when he heard Robin’s soft snoring beside him did he realized that the time had passed.
He laid there on the floor, now the final friend awake, and mulled over the possibilities. Maybe Robin had been too tired to get what he meant, maybe he had been too tired to explain it correctly. Because surely everyone could tell when someone was hot, right? Woman or man.
It had only been fifteen minutes or so since Robin had fallen asleep, and Steve could feel it coming for him next. Maybe he’d bring this up with her again when they woke up, maybe he wouldn’t. His last thought was how nice it was to have a friend you could talk so openly with; before he finally drifted off.