Work Text:
It’s not easy being cute.
Most people roll their eyes at this, or say that Donghyuck is playing into all his Leo placements by being a self absorbed prick, but the fact of the matter is being attractive and funny is a lifelong struggle.
It’s this same Achilles' heel that lands him a date with Jaehyun Jeong, a too-hot-to-be-real senior in his Econometrics lecture (where romance goes to die, some would say). He’d been flirting with Jaehyun all semester, only half-joking, and he hadn’t really expected it to go anywhere until one fateful Tuesday. Donghyuck is completely blindsided by it, because right at the end of class Jaehyun turns around in his seat and shoots him a dimpled smile, saying, “Do you wanna go to the drive-in with me on Saturday?”
This instills panic in Donghyuck for two reasons. Reason number one being that Jaehyun's taste in movies is such that he calls them films instead of movies, and reason number two being: everybody knows that nobody actually goes to the drive-in to watch the stupid movie. Quite transparently, the drive-in movie theater downtown is a place for making out in the backseat and putting hands in private places, all of which Donghyuck has absolutely zero experience with.
He betrays none of this, however, and only bats his eyelashes to respond: “Only if you pick me up, baby.”
Donghyuck packs up his things quickly to get away from the smile Jaehyun is directing at him, which is silly because the class meets again before their date anyway, and he and Jaehyun usually leave together. He’s not sure what excuse he makes to leave, but Jaehyun seems to buy it all the same, with a sweet promise to meet up again on Thursday.
By the time Donghyuck makes it back to his apartment, he’s wound so tight he could turn a piece of solid rock into a diamond. As soon as he unlocks the door he shuffles in and slams it behind him like he’s being chased. His roommate is sitting on the couch with his $500 headphones on, hunched over his laptop typing out what Donghyuck can safely assume is another one of his 12 page lab reports. Donghyuck clears his throat to get his attention, but Jaemin doesn’t budge, eyes glued to his laptop screen while his fingers fly across the keyboard. Donghyuck drops his backpack on the parquet floor, and the flurry of motion only catches Jaemin’s eye for a whopping two seconds. “Hi, Donghyuck.” he mutters, and then it’s right back to the words on his screen. Donghyuck sinks to his knees. What’s a guy gotta do to get some attention around here!
“Jaehyun just asked me out,” Donghyuck says, as mournfully as he can, and maybe Jaemin’s music isn’t that loud, because he actually takes off his headphones to frown at him. “Huh?”
Donghyuck crawls over to where Jaemin has his legs crossed on the fluffy rug, only stopping once he’s close enough to rest his chin on his thigh. Jaemin stares down at him.
“Jaehyun Jeong.” Donghyuck clarifies. “He just asked me out on a date. To the drive-in theater.”
“Okay,” Jaemin blinks. “Congratulations?”
“Do you have any ideas about the immoral acts that go down in that parking lot? What if he tries to kiss me? Or worse?”
“Then you kiss him back? You're losing me here. Also, this report is due in two hours and I just started, so—” Jaemin says.
“You’re not listening to me.” Donghyuck points out. “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
Jaemin narrows his eyes at him, like doing so activates the built in lie detector lodged in his parietal lobe, right alongside the inhibitors that help him process his hell-sent octuple espresso shot coffee order. “You’re being 100% serious, aren’t you?” Jaemin says. Donghyuck nods, pitiful. It’s not really a secret, but most people just assume Donghyuck is hot enough to be fighting pretty boys away with a baseball bat and getting kissed more times than he can count, so he’s never tried to claim otherwise.
It’s a shame, really.
Donghyuck’s kiss meter sits at a pathetic sub zero, and the too-cute curse continues to ruin his life. Jaemin, for what it’s worth, actually looks a little bit sympathetic. Donghyuck didn’t think he was capable of that emotion. Jaemin moves a hand from his keyboard to ruffle Donghyuck’s dark chocolate waves. “Kissing isn’t scary,” the younger boy assures him, “Just let him come to you and you’ll be fine.” Donghyuck doesn’t even get to enjoy the kind touch before Jaemin is reaching away to haul his headphones back over his ears.
“Jaeminnn,” Donghyuck whines, high and nasally in the way that he knows folds Jaemin’s skin up inch by inch in annoyance. Just in case that isn’t enough, he digs his chin into his thigh. “I can’t do that. What if I'm a bad kisser? Jaehyun will be so grossed out that I’ll have to change my name and move somewhere remote and make a living off making goat cheese and I don’t even know how cheese is made, Jaemin! So when my cheese business fails I’ll have to move on to shearing sheep somewhere and I barely know how t—”
“Okay!” Jaemin interrupts. “If kissing Jaehyun is so high stakes then…” he waves an absent hand around. “Just find someone to practice with.”
“You’re a genius,” Donghyuck says, “You should definitely teach me!”
“Absolutely fucking not.”
“Oh come on, you’ve made out with half the students on campus but you’re raising your standards for me? That doesn’t sound fair.” Donghyuck pouts.
Jaemin’s expression darkens so steeply that it feels like it causes the temperature to drop. Donghyuck retreats quickly enough that he bumps his head on the corner of the coffee table. Unfortunately, it’s not hard enough to knock him out completely, so he’s fully lucid when Jaemin snaps at him. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he says.
“I’m making an educated proposal, you know? Since you have so much experience it would make sense if you taught me…how to kiss.”
Jaemin’s expression doesn’t thaw. “No. You probably don’t want to catch my slut virus.” he says, and Donghyuck has to choke back a giggle. Cooties would’ve been less hilarious, because now he’s picturing a microbe that encourages slutty behavior. Jaemin still doesn't seem very amused, though.
“Come on,” Donghyuck says. “I didn't mean it like that. I definitely want you to teach me.”
“That’s too bad, because I don’t want to.” Jaemin shrugs.
“But the goat cheese!” Donghyuck protests.
“Fuck off, Donghyuck.” Jaemin sighs, and then he gets off the couch with his laptop in hand. He doesn’t even glance back when he shoves his bedroom door shut with his foot.
Donghyuck is still sitting in the same spot on the floor for fifteen minutes after.
Damn, he thinks. Was it something I said?
🌈
“Hold up hold up hold up.” Mark says. He puts his hands up for Donghyuck to stop talking, like the rapid fire speech wasn't enough. “You want me to make out with you, why?” he asks. He and Donghyuck are walking through the student center, on their way up to the third floor cafeteria to grab lunch with Renjun, and Donghyuck is slowly realizing he’s made a grave mistake in asking his best friend of ten and something years to kiss him on the lips for science.
“Because,” Donghyuck repeats. “I have a hot date with Jaehyun on Saturday and I’m out of practice. I just think it would help, that’s all.” Mark presses his lips into a thin line and nods like this is perfectly reasonable. Donghyuck knew there was a reason he liked him so much. “Right, I’d totally help you out man, but I don’t think Renjun would be cool with it, you know? Like, how do I explain to my boyfriend that I’m making out with my best friend in a totally no homo way?” Mark says.
Donghyuck takes it back. He does not like Mark Lee at all.
“It’s totally homo.” Donghyuck points out. “We’re both gay.”
“No yeah right but I’m saying like, Renjun’s kinda territorial, and I don’t think he’d agree that it’s just educational, you know? I don’t want to upset him.”
“So you won’t kiss me either?” Donghyuck pouts.
“No, Sorry.” Mark says, and he really does seem so remorseful. He opens the door to the food court and gestures for Donghyuck to walk through. Renjun is waiting for them at one of the tables, idly scrolling through his phone. He looks up when Mark and Donghyuck arrive, angling his cheek to the side so Mark knows to kiss him hello. Donghyuck rolls his eyes on principle, because around Renjun, Mark acts like a really well trained puppy.
“Hello to you too, Donghyuck.” Renjun says.
“Hi. On a scale of one to ten how mad would you be if I made Mark make out with me?”
“Nine,” Renjun says immediately. “Why would you want that, anyway?”
“You’re asking too many questions.” Donghyuck decides.
“He wants someone to practice with before his date on Saturday,” Mark explains, “Thinks it’ll be embarrassing if he’s not good at it on the first try.” He sits down next to Renjun and looks at Donghyuck from across the table. “I really don’t think Jaehyun will mind, dude. He’s like, mad chill.”
“You’ve never been kissed? You’re being serious?” Renjun says. He at least has the decency to keep his voice as hush as he can in the bustling food court, but his eyebrows are raised, too overtly surprised for Donghyuck’s liking.
“Why does everyone keep asking me that? Yes I’m serious. I already asked Jaemin but I think he’s kind of pissed off at me right now.”
“You say this every week.” Renjun sighs.
“Because it’s true? He hates me.”
“Sure.” Renjun says.
Donghyuck narrows his eyes at him. “What do you mean by sure. You don’t believe me? We’ve been living together for months and he’s smiled at me a total of three times. Three!”
“Jaemin isn’t a smiley person. He needs the weather to be perfect in order to make his smile muscles operate correctly. It’s a volatile thing.” Renjun explains. He’s the one who had suggested Donghyuck be roommates with Jaemin in the first place, so Donghyuck trusts him to know the other boy well enough, except right now Donghyuck has no idea what the hell he’s talking about.
“What in the world are you talking about?” Donghyuck murmurs.
“Resting bitch face.” Mark supplies helpfully. “Can we get food now?”
“Don’t take it personally,” Renjun continues, “I’m sure he likes you very much.”
“He doesn’t.” Donghyuck insists, “And that’s fine, because I don't like him either. Mutual animosity.”
Renjun gives him a strange look. He’s the kind of person who always looks like he knows something you don’t, and because Donghyuck is endlessly inquisitive this Renjun trait both intrigues and frustrates him. “What ?” he prompts, exasperated.
Renjun just smiles disarmingly. Stupid cutesy disposition. “If it helps you sleep at night, I won’t fight you on it.”
🌈
When Donghyuck was a second year he’d taken up a part time job at the biggest library on campus. The work was mind numbingly boring at best, but it enabled him to do homework during shifts, so he only complained about it sometimes. It was also where he met Jisung Park, a soft spoken boy in the year below who had brought Donghyuck a tiny mandarin everyday until Donghyuck had realized that was his way of flirting with him. Donghyuck hadn’t returned his feelings, but they’d stayed friends, and now that Jisung is older and arguably cuter he’s replaced the citrus with free coffees from the Starbucks on campus, which is where Donghyuck finds himself now.
“Heyyyy Jisung.” Donghyuck says. He’s wearing his best lipgloss today, the plumping juicy fruit kind that smells like candied apples, and he’d actually put a little bit of effort into his outfit, christening himself totally, irresistibly kissable. Jisung gives him a wide eyed look. “Hi, Hyuckie, long time no see. Why are you all dressed up?”
“No reason! I kind of need to ask you for a favor, though.” He leans across the counter, bracing his forearms against the clean wood before whispering, “Do you remember that crush you had on me freshman year?”
Jisung turns beet red immediately. “Of course.” he says quietly, “How could I forget?”
“Great! I’m working on a project for my sociology class, and I need someone to make out with me. You’d be doing me a huge favor, Jisungie, seriously.” The lie rolls off Donghyuck’s tongue with practiced ease. Desperate times, desperate measures.
“Ah, I see. I’m sorry but I can’t.”
“What? Why not? You didn't even think about it!”
“If I kiss you right now, it won’t mean anything to either of us, and I don’t like to kiss people without meaning it.” Jisung explains. “It doesn’t feel right.”
Donghyuck groans and rests his forehead on the counter. Why is he so cute? And why hadn’t Donghyuck taken advantage of his crush when it had been in full bloom? At least in that way, he definitely would’ve had his first kiss by now. “Hyuck, are you okay?” Jisung asks.
“I’m fine! Do you think you can hook me up with another free coffee today?” Donghyuck asks. He’s not sure how Jisung hasn’t gotten fired for this yet, but it’s not his place to question free shit.
“Of course. I hope you find someone to kiss for your project. It seems really important to you.”
🌈
Donghyuck is eating dinner in the kitchen when Jaemin comes through to grab one of his kombucha drinks out of the fridge. Seriously, what is with him and his need to ingest disgusting fluids?
Donghyuck heaves out a sigh and pokes at the grilled chicken on his plate. There’s a spoon of rice in his cheek already, but he’s too depressed to chew it. This time tomorrow he’ll be a social outcast, courtesy of his horrid kissing prowess. He sighs again. What a terrible way to die.
“Do I even want to know?” Jaemin says. Donghyuck hadn’t even noticed that he never left. He’s leaning on the counter with the open bottle of fermented tea halfway to his mouth.
“It’s nothing you haven’t heard before.” Donghyuck mopes.
“You’ve had no trouble oversharing in the past. What’s stopping you now?”
“I took your advice and tried to find someone to practice kissing with, except Mark doesn’t want to cheat on his boyfriend, and Jisung doesn’t believe in meaningless kissing, and it’s too risky to ask anyone else, so what I’ve concluded is that I’m too ugly and unlovable for people to want to kiss for fun.”
Jaemin snorts at that. Touché.
“Can't be that ugly if you’re going out with Jaehyun tomorrow,” Jaemin says. Donghyuck is honestly surprised Jaemin caught the actual date after in between all his frivolous ranting, but the happy feeling is quickly replaced by one of dread when he realizes that Jaehyun is the reason why he feels like this in the first place.
“Don’t remind me. I still don’t know how to kiss, remember? I’ll have to pack my bags tonight so I can come straight home and grab them after I slobber all over Jeong’s face.”
“Right. It’ll suck having to find a new roommate.” Jaemin sighs, though he doesn't sound too torn up about it.
“Before I go,” Donghyuck says, “I want you to know that I’m really sorry I called you a slut. I didn’t mean it like that, and I'll be leaving you my RGB keyboard, so you can truly understand how remorseful I am.”
“It’s whatever. I guess technically speaking I am kind of a slut, so I forgive you.”
Donghyuck perks up at this. “Forgive me enough to kiss me?”
“Oh I don’t know about all that…it depends on what you’re willing to give me in return.”
“I’ll do your laundry for a month.”
“Please. You can do better than that.” Jaemin says.
“Okay,” Donghyuck bargains. “I'll buy you Starbucks instead?”
“Wrong again. You’ll fuck up my points system. I’m 50 stars away from a free croissant.”
“I can't believe you just turned down free coffee.” Donghyuck says, flabbergasted. Jaemin shrugs. “How about this? I teach you how to kiss, and you’ll just have to owe me one.”
“You mean like…a favor you can cash in at any time?”
Jaemin nods. Donghyuck hesitates. “You’re not gonna make me do anything weird, are you?”
“Probably not. Wouldn't be any fun if I told you, though.” Jaemin says. He gets off the counter and crosses over to the island, where Donghyuck’s food has long gone cold. “So what do you say? Deal or no deal?”
“Deal.” Donghyuck says.
“Wow, just like that?”
“Yes. It's not like I have a choice. Do you want to meet in my room in an hour?” Donghyuck asks. He holds out his hand to shake on it, and Jaemin looks at it incredulously before taking it and giving it a firm squeeze. His hands are rough.
“Deal.”
🌈
It's only when Jaemin knocks on his bedroom door an hour and a half later that Donghyuck realizes how well and truly fucked this is. Jaemin is still just wearing a white tee and gray sweatpants, but now his thick black hair is pushed off his face with a curly headband, and Donghyuck shrinks a little under the full force of his eyebrows. Mark was right. He really does have a resting bitch face. He walks in and looks around Donghyuck’s room, and Donghyuck is glad he’d thought to throw most of his shit under the bed and into his closet before frantically brushing his teeth. Finally, Jaemin’s eyes land on him.
“When did you find time to make a playlist?” Jaemin asks, and Donghyuck reaches for his phone on the desk to turn the music down, just a bit. “I didn't. This is the make out jams playlist on Spotify.”
“Turn it off. I’m not kissing you to keshi.”
“What’s wrong with keshi?” Donghyuck frowns.
Jaemin ignores him and flops down on the edge of his bed. Donghyuck follows, holding his phone close to his chest. “No really, let's address this. What did he ever do to you?” he asks.
“Are you going to keep stalling, or are you going to come over here and kiss me?” Jaemin says. He’s already made himself comfortable, sitting back on the mattress, and his general aloofness makes Donghyuck realize he’s the weird one for being curled into himself as far away as possible. He’s seen Jaemin eat spoonfuls of cilantro out of a cup at 3am. He’s to be feared for sure, but not in this way. Donghyuck takes a deep breath and tries to relax his posture a little.
“I don't know. I just—do I just go for it?”
“Yeah. I need to know what your technique is like before I say anything, so, plant one on me.”
“Um. Okay. Go easy on me.”
Jaemin rolls his eyes but doesn’t reply with anything cutting, so Donghyuck takes it as a win.
Donghyuck crawls over to him and swings a leg over one of his thighs, settling back on his knees as he braces his hands on his thighs. Jaemin doesn’t touch him, choosing instead to lean back on his palms and look up at him with those fluttery long lashes. His face is all soft and glowy up close, and it’s throwing Donghyuck off a little bit. All those skincare bottles above the sink and the meticulous minutes spent hogging the bathroom on the mornings when Donghyuck needs to pee the most are really paying off, it seems. There’s a glaze of chapstick over his lips, and Donghyuck is frozen by the realization that if he leans in he’ll be able to taste it.
“If we’re really lucky, you’ll make it in time for that date tomorrow.” Jaemin says, finally. It draws Donghyuck out his thoughts, but it does nothing to fix the way his palms are clamming up. “Shut up. I'm concentrating.” Donghyuck murmurs. He leans in, his fingers curled at the hem of his shorts, and brushes their lips together.
It’s a shy outline of a kiss, and Donghyuck pulls back too quickly, anxious as soon as he can feel Jaemin’s breath on his top lip. He keeps his eyes closed, licks his own lips and swallows. It's cherry. The chapstick is a stereotypical-heart-fluttering-cherry.
“How was that?”
“I don't know.” Jaemin drawls, “I blinked and missed it.” he slides a hand up to Donghyuck's waist and pulls him closer. Donghyuck stumbles forward on his knees with an undignified sound. “You’re allowed to touch me, you know. Just sit down.” Jaemin says. Donghyuck does, feeling too much like he’s under command. He settles on Jaemin’s lap, and does nothing else. Jaemin’s mouth stretches into a bemused smile.
“You’re so tense. Are you nervous or something?”
“Of course I’m nervous, asshole.” Donghyuck snaps, but it comes out broken in half. Jaemin only laughs at him. “I’m not Jaehyun.” he says, “You have nothing to worry about.”
That should be calming, but it’s not. Donghyuck feels hot under the direct layer of his skin, like he’s having a bad reaction to something.
“I'm gonna kiss you this time, okay? Just relax and follow my lead.”
Easier said than done, that is.
Jaemin goes in for the kiss, but Donghyuck doesn’t know what to do with his mouth or his tongue or his hands and it’s so overwhelming that—
“You’re really bad at this.” Jaemin says. He pulls away to rub at the saliva at the side of his mouth. “It's like making out with a sprinkler.”
“Thank you.” Donghyuck gripes. “That was so helpful, seriously.”
“You’re overthinking it.” Jaemin says. He lets go of Donghyuck's waist and grabs his wrists to place them over his shoulders. It’s a sort of closeness that Donghyuck is used to with other people, but not with Jaemin. He’s no stranger to being draped all over his friends and mere acquaintances because it's a form of love that comes easier to him, but with Jaemin it doesn't feel easy. It feels like an uncomfortable spark of static each time they brush. It’s weirding Donghyuck out quicker and quicker by the second. What is he so nervous for?
“Once you’ve established that the person you’re kissing wants to kiss you too, there’s no need to rush. Take it slow, tease them a little bit.” He drags his thumb over the underside of Donghyuck’s jaw, lightly brushing against the skin until he makes his way up to Donghyuck’s mouth, pressing down on his bottom lip in a way that makes Donghyuck think he’s going to push his thumb into his mouth. Donghyuck realizes worriedly that he would let him.
“Make them want you just as bad,” Jaemin says. His voice is low, and his eyes are—they’re so dark, concentrated with an almost believable level of want. If Donghyuck’s heart beats any faster it’s going to be a medical problem. “Do you get it?”
Donghyuck’s mouth feels like it’s full of sand. “Yeah,” he whispers, “Can we try again?”
This time, when Jaemin’s lips brush against his own, Donghyuck is ready. He pushes back, gently, still unsure, but Jaemin meets him halfway, sets the pace at something slow and sticky. Jaemin kisses his bottom lip first, soft and chaste, before focusing on the center of his mouth. He slides his hands up to Donghyuck’s waist and angles his head a little, turning the lingering kisses into something a little more insistent, but gentle all the same. Donghyuck slides his hand up into the soft hair at the back of Jaemin’s neck, parts his lips just a crack, and—
Oh.
This is what it’s supposed to feel like, he realizes.
Jaemin slips the tip of his tongue into his mouth, and for whatever reason it doesn’t feel as weird as Donghyuck thought it would. It’s so good that he actually whimpers when Jaemin’s tongue slides against the roof of his mouth.
When they break apart for air, Jaemin’s lips are wet. “Uh, that was fine. Just don’t be afraid to breathe more through your nose, and, um—”
Donghyuck kisses him again.
He twists his fingers in his hair and tugs, and Jaemin makes a small, broken noise against his lips. Donghyuck repeats the motion, pressing close and pulling gently at the root. Jaemin sags forward like all his strings have been cut, almost magic in the way that his body loses all tension.
“You like that.” Donghyuck realizes, breathless.
Jaemin’s eyes are half lidded, a pretty pink blush over his cheeks as he takes his bottom lip between two white teeth. “Yeah. Feels good,” Jaemin says, like it’s really that simple. “You’re a fast learner.”
It’s maybe the nicest thing Jaemin has ever said to Donghyuck in the few months they’ve been living together. It's a shame that it comes at a time where Donghyuck's brain is too crosswired to process it properly. He lies back onto the pillows and takes Jaemin with him, and it’s then that he notices the line of heat pressing up against his inner thigh.
Jaemin is remarkably chivalrous about it. He keeps kissing Donghyuck, open mouthed and sweet and all-consuming, but he doesn’t make any move to grind up against him or get any sort of relief. Which would be fine, except Donghyuck really wants him to. He sucks on Jaemin’s tongue, light with spearmint toothpaste and spit and something so remarkably Jaemin. He keeps his hands cradled around Jaemin’s cheeks but bucks his hips up experimentally, and Jaemin breaks away from the kiss to shudder out a gasp. “Donghyuck, we—” Donghyuck does it again, rolling his hips up to press into that sweet burst of arousal, and Jaemin screws his eyes shut and digs his fingers into his waist to hold him still. “Hyuck,” he tries again, “We shouldn’t—we should stop.” he says, voice hoarse.
Donghyuck bites down on the inside of his cheek. “No,” he says, automatic, without thinking. “No. What if,” he swallows, “What if Jaehyun wants to try...more of this stuff? I don't know what to do. You have to show me.” he says. He’s simultaneously disgusted and awed by the desperation thrumming through him now. This is Jaemin on top of him, after all, and in the morning he’ll probably be back to his all too familiar apathy, but right now he’s pulled apart in Donghyuck’s hands, flushed from Donghyuck’s kisses, and Donghyuck craves release so badly he’s afraid it’ll kill him. He squirms in Jaemin's hold, chasing the lovely press of his thigh between his legs again.
“Please, show me.” Donghyuck says, and it sounds pathetic, even to him.
Jaemin still hesitates, searching his face, but when Donghyuck slowly pulls him down again he goes easily, falls easily, until they’re pressed together once more. Jaemin slides a hand down in between them, rucking up Donghyuck’s shorts until the material is bunched at his hips. Jaemin rolls his hips down, and Donghyuck feels the entire length of him rub up against his boner, hot and heavy.
Jaemin pulls away from his mouth to press sloppy kisses against the side of his neck. He mouths a wet spot against Donghyuck's skin and scrapes his teeth against it, and the arousal that shoots through Donghyuck nearly splits him in half. “Most people like to be kissed here,” Jaemin explains, “And here—” his lips flutter over Donghyuck’s pulse, down his neck, to the space right above his collarbones. Donghyuck admires his dedication to the lesson, but he’s barely retaining anything but the way that Jaemin’s breath hitches each time he ruts up against him. Donghyuck slips a hand underneath Jaemin’s shirt, over his back, hiking it up in this new need to touch as much of him as possible. Jaemin must feel the same, because his hands venture over to the inside of Donghyuck’s thighs, forcing him open, so that when he grinds down again Donghyuck tenses underneath all the layers of clothing between them. It dawns on him that this is probably what it would be like if they were actually fucking, Jaemin holding him close and pushing deep inside of him, skin on skin.
They’re barely kissing anymore, just panting against each other’s mouths, but Donghyuck completely understands now why Jaemin has a seemingly endless revolving door of suitors.
Donghyuck barely registers it when he comes. His vision goes white, and he arches upwards off the bed, only to be met with the warm weight of Jaemin above him, still. He keeps his eyes shut, mortified, until Jaemin rolls off him completely. Donghyuck shuffles over onto his side, wincing at the feeling of the wet mess inside his shorts. “Oh my god,” he starts. “I didn’t mean to—you know.”
For some reason, Jaemin looks as embarrassed as he feels. “It’s fine. Kind of how that works, so.”
If Donghyuck thinks too hard about what he says next he won’t be able to say it all. “Do you need any help with, um.” He gestures at the wet patch on Jaemin’s sweats. God. He can’t even say it without sounding like a complete virgin.
“No I—I actually finished already.”
No way. “Are you serio—”
“Yup.” Jaemin interrupts. He pulls his shirt away from his chest just to have something to do with his hands. “This is enough to get you through your date, right?”
“Yeah I guess so. But—”
“Great. Fantastic. I'm gonna go now.” Jaemin says. He wastes no time in getting off Donghyuck’s bed. He does an awkward shuffle to the door, and Donghyuck would laugh if he didn’t have the sinking feeling that he’s crossed a line he shouldn’t have.
🌈
On Saturday Jaemin is gone before Donghyuck even wakes up, which is strange because Jaemin sleeps in till noon on a good weekend. He doesn’t leave a note either, and he hadn’t mentioned needing to go to his parents or anything, which means Donghyuck is struck by this strange sense of confusion. He idles around the apartment, anxiously waiting for Jaemin to get back, but time rolls around for him to get ready for his date with Jaehyun and Jaemin still hasn’t come home.
Lee Donghyuck
is jaemin with you
prof. huang
Am I his manager
Lee Donghyuck
?
answer the question
prof. huang
No
He’s not home?
Lee Donghyuck
i think he left
super early this morning
8ish
prof. huang
O.o
Jaemin up before noon on a Saturday?
I just saw a pig fly by my window
Lee Donghyuck
corny.
Donghyuck decides he can’t do anything about it, and busies himself with getting ready for his date. He spends a questionable amount of time debating on whether to wear concealer or not, and even longer deciding on which pair of jeans to wear. He decides on yes for the first and as ripped as possible for the second, and just as his sanity is about to shred for the night Jaehyun calls to let him know he’s outside.
🌈
The night starts off well enough. Jaehyun compliments Donghyuck endlessly—not that he expected anything different, obviously—and he lets Donghyuck get a ridiculous amount of snacks. The movie they’re seeing is a palatable vintage horror type, and Donghyuck doesn't even have to feign his interest. So yes, things start well, but then Donghyuck kisses Jaehyun in the back of his car and it feels like…nothing.
They’re both squashed into the backseat, and Jaehyun has a hand up Donghyuck’s shirt as he flicks his tongue into his mouth. It's objectively good because Jaehyun is really attractive and a good kisser but all Donghyuck can think about—all he can feel is the way that Jaemin had touched him the night before. It makes sense to compare the two. Jaemin is the only other person who has kissed him, so naturally his brain is filing the two together, holding up two experiences to the light and watching the way Jaehyun’s touch appears clumsy and rough when compared to Jaemin’s deliberate one.
It’s not the comparison that bothers him, it’s the realization that he wishes it were Jaemin on top of him instead.
Jaehyun pulls back with a wet sound. “Hey, are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Donghyuck says, hoarse. “Why'd you stop?” Jaehyun leans up off of him, and Donghyuck’s chin feels cool where his mouth had been.
“You don't seem that into it. like, you’re here with me, but you’re thinking about someone else.”
Donghyuck laughs nervously at that. “You’re funny. Let’s just keep going, yeah?” He reaches for Jaehyun to pull him in again, but Jaehyun grabs his hand midair and holds it. “You’re right. I think I might just be projecting.” Jaehyun says.
Donghyuck is not sure where this is going, so he stays quiet.
“I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago, and I thought I could get over him by finally going out with someone else, but I was thinking about him, just now.” Jaehyun says. When he looks up, the tips of his ears are red, bright even in the dimly lit car. Cute. Donghyuck thinks absently. “I’m sorry, Donghyuck. I didn’t mean to treat you like some kind of rebound.”
“No, it’s. It’s okay.”
“It's not okay. You deserve to go out with someone who truly adores you.”
He goes on to say some stuff about his ex, and about how Donghyuck is really cute, but it goes in one ear and out the other. He’d invested so much emotional labor into this one date that it feels like a slap to be told it’s a mistake.
“Donghyuck, are you listening to me?” Jaehyun asks. He squeezes Donghyuck’s hand. “Yeah, I—I just. I’m kind of bummed out. That’s all.” Donghyuck says. Jaehyun looks like he feels terrible, so Donghyuck will forgive him eventually, just not right now. He gently pulls his hand out of his grip.
“We can just watch the movie, if you want? I still think you’re cool and I’m down to just hang out.” Jaehyun says finally.
“I’d actually rather just go home, if that’s okay with you.” Donghyuck says. It comes out a little bitchy unfortunately, but such is life.
“Yeah, of course.”
🌈
Jaehyun drops him off at the apartment only after apologizing a billion more times, and at that point Donghyuck is a little more than over it. He gets the sense that he should be more disappointed, but the feeling that floods his veins when Jaehyun pulls away is more like relief.
Donghyuck thinks everything over in the elevator, more certain as each floor ticks by. He isn’t stupid.
He’s had crushes before, and this whole thinking-about-them-while-you're-kissing-someone-else fiasco points to a massive crush on none other than Jaemin Na. He’s sort of disappointed in himself for letting this happen, but a fact is a fact. Now all he has to do is tell Jaemin so he can peacefully move on in his life. Preferably to someone hotter. Donghyuck is not the type to play a card without being absolutely sure that he's going to win, and confessing to Jaemin is fairly low stakes. What's the worst that could happen? Jaemin doesn't like him back? Donghyuck is already aware of that fact, and he has dealt with far worse. This will be a cakewalk.
When Donghyuck enters the apartment it’s dark, but there’s a light on in the bathroom, so he presumes that Jaemin is finally home and has already started his nightly routine. Donghyuck walks up to the door and knocks on it twice, to no response.
“Jaemin? Can you come out here?” He says. There’s the sound of the doorknob jiggling on the other side, and Donghyuck braces himself.
The boy that walks out of the bathroom is decidedly not Jaemin. He has platinum blonde hair for one, and when Donghyuck follows the trail of water running down his chest he finds that this guy is ripped to hell.
“Who. The Fuck. Are You.” Is all Donghyuck can say.
“Hi, sorry. Jaemin and I were just using the bathroom. Do you need to get through?”
“No, I—”
“Jesus Christ Jeno, what are you doing? You’re dripping water all over the place...”
That’s Jaemin’s voice, coming directly from behind Jeno. Donghyuck shuffles out of the doorway, mute. Jeno apologizes again before slipping into Jaemin’s room, leaving droplets of water in his wake. When Jaemin pops up, it is in his bougie little white bathrobe, his hair alot more dry than Jeno’s is. The steam billowing out of the bathroom tells Donghyuck enough.
Jaemin pauses when he sees him standing in the hallway. “You’re back.”
“You didn't tell me you were having someone over.” Donghyuck says numbly.
“It wasn't planned, and I thought you’d be gone for longer.” Jaemin says. He opens up the storage closet to look for something to wipe up the mess of water on the floor. He emerges with a mop and gives Donghyuck a sheepish look. “I’ll clean this up, I promise. Did you have fun on your date?”
Donghyuck is a shell of the man he used to be. “Yeah. It was. It was great.”
“That’s good. I’m glad.” he pauses to give Donghyuck a once over. Donghyuck is suddenly hyper aware of how ripped the jeans he’s wearing are, more skin than denim. Jaemin’s eyes linger on the rips over his thighs, before he finally moves his gaze up to his eyeshadow. “You look nice.” he says simply.
Donghyuck’s cheeks feel flaming hot cheeto red. He doesn’t think he’s ever been so blatantly checked out before. What the hell is this guy's problem? “Thank you.”
“No problem.” Jaemin says. He tightens his grip on the mop, and then they just stare at each other for…an awkward amount of time.
It's really awkward. Why is it awkward?
“Is there something you wanted to talk about?” Jaemin asks. Donghyuck blinks at him. Maybe this was a sign from the universe. “Nope!” he responds. “I’m gonna be in my room.”
He keeps his head down as he hurriedly walks past him, but Jaemin grabs his arm and stops him in his tracks. Donghyuck looks at the hand on his jacket before dragging his eyes up to meet Jaemin’s. Can he tell? Did he figure it out already?
“Are we like, okay?” Jaemin asks.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t want things to be weird just because we kissed. It didn’t really mean anything, right?” Jaemin asks.
Yeah. Definitely a sign from the universe.
“Oh. Right, yeah it’s whatever. Can you let go of—”
“So we’re okay.” Jaemin insists.
“Yeah. We’re fine.”
“Nice. Jeno and I are gonna do some work out here in a minute, if you want to join?”
“I’m exhausted. You guys have fun though.” Donghyuck lies. Jaemin is still holding on to him, his hand burning even through the leather. Or maybe that’s just Donghyuck being horny. “Is that all you wanted to say?” he prompts, and that seems to snap Jaemin out of whatever weird trance he’s in.
He lets go of him to return to clutching the mop like his life depends on it.
“Yup. Goodnight.”
Donghyuck doesn’t give him a response, too weirded out to do anything but walk away and click the door locked behind him. It’s there, standing in his mess of a bedroom, that the disappointment he’d been expecting with Jaehyun finds him. He doesn't know what he’d expected to change, if anything. Jaemin has kissed a lot of people, and now Donghyuck is just someone on the list. Simple. Easy. Donghyuck stubbornly refuses to give it another thought. It’s only 9pm, but the night feels long, so true to his word Donghyuck strips out of his clothes, doesn’t bother washing his face, and goes right the fuck to sleep.
🌈
“And then he explains that I’m basically the rebound.” Donghyuck says. He can blame shakiness in his voice on the movie they just watched, but Renjun and Mark know him better. Renjun rubs soothing circles onto his back. Donghyuck had unwittingly crashed their date, but he’d probably looked miserable enough for Renjun and let him in his apartment without any of his usual grumbling.
He’d sandwiched himself between them on the couch, stolen their popcorn and some of the gourmet ice cream Mark hoards from his job, and tried not to sob during Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Now that the movie is over though, there’s nothing distracting him from the memory of the night before.
“I’m sorry, Hyuckie, I know you really liked Jaehyun.” Mark says.
“I wish that was the problem.”
Renjun furrows his eyebrows. “What is it, then?”
“While I was kissing him, all I could think about was Jaemin.”
“Oh, fuck,” Mark says.
“I honestly didn't think it was that bad at first, but then I got home and he was in the shower with Jeno, and it’s so obvious that they were—ugh. Do you have more of this ice cream?”
“Yeah—” Mark says, but it overlaps with Renjun’s resounding no.
“No more ice cream for you.” Renjun says. “Finish the story.”
“So I get home from the date with Jaehyun and I’m thinking: Okay, I'm just going to tell Jaemin I like him so I can start my healing process. The night can’t get any worse, right? Wrong! I knocked on the bathroom door and the guy who opens it is so hot I lose all brain function. And it’s not even Jaemin!”
“Oh, you poor baby.” Renjun says. It’s half sympathetic and half joking, but Donghyuck likes the attention all the same.
“What does Jeno Lee have that I don’t, anyway?” Donghyuck wails.
“Rippling abs, a drivers license, a 3.9GPA, that fuckin’ eye smile...” Mark starts.
Renjun kicks him. “Can you focus?”
“I mean,” Mark clears his throat. “Nothing. He has nothing on you.”
“Hey! I have a nice smile!” Donghyuck protests. He smiles extra wide just to prove it, and both Mark and Renjun laugh at him. “You’re so cute, Donghyuck. You will come back from this, 100%.” Mark says.
“No I won’t!” Donghyuck says. He buries his face in his palms. “I'm the idiot that fell for the first guy who kissed me! It’s so stupid!”
“It’s not stupid, Donghyuck. You're allowed to have feelings.” Renjun says. “Are you still going to tell him? I think you should.”
“After last night? No way.”
Renjun is quiet for a long time. “Okay. I did my part so can you go home now?”
🌈
If Donghyuck is anything, he’s stubborn. Some might call it a character flaw, but to him it’s a necessary trait to have, especially when it comes to arduous tasks: this one being ignoring his big fat crush on Jaemin Na until it also poofs out of existence. It’s been a week since Jaehyun romantically tossed him aside, and a week since he realized that he really doesn’t want to kiss anyone but Jaemin.
“You’re being weird.” Jaemin says. He walks into the kitchen while Donghyuck is attempting to operate the air fryer. He doesn’t look up when he says,
“Huh? How?”
“I don’t know. You’re just weird. Off.” Jaemin pauses and watches Donghyuck struggle for a little more. “The perforated pan goes on the inside. You have to push down that tab on the top to make it work. ”
“I knew that.”
“I never said you didn’t.” Jaemin says, but he keeps… hovering.
Donghyuck drops his task to give him an exasperated look. “What do you want? Are you ready to cash in that favor yet?”
“No…I haven’t thought about it in a while, actually. I was mostly just teasing you, you know that, right? Why are you so eager all of a sudden?”
“You’re telling me you let me dry hump you like a bitch in heat and you don’t want anything in return?”
“Why do you talk like that…” Jaemin pauses. “Is that what this is about? What happened last Friday? I thought you said we were cool?”
“It is cool. I just find it weird that you haven’t made me pay up yet.”
“I’m sitting on it.” Jaemin says. “For how long?” Donghyuck asks.
“You want to know how long I’m sitting on it?” Jaemin says. He maintains eye contact with Donghyuck, but he doesn't elaborate, and eventually Donghyuck has to look away, the butterflies in his stomach almost unbearable. Asshole.
“I’m meeting up with Jeno in a bit. Do you want me to bring something back for you?” Jaemin asks.
Donghyuck shakes his head.
“You’re not sick or anything, right? You’ve been so quiet. It’s creeping me out.” Jaemin gives him a small smile—a smile —and it makes Donghyuck’s stomach flutter pathetically again. Goddamn it. Donghyuck is failing miserably at this.
“I’m fine. Why do you care, anyway? I thought you liked me quiet.”
To this, Jaemin doesn’t say anything. That’s what I thought. Donghyuck thinks spitefully.
“Renjun told me. About you and Jaehyun.”
That backstabbing bastard. “Oh? What did he say, exactly?”
“Just that you weren’t seeing each other anymore. I thought I could do something to help you feel better. I know how hard heartbreak can be.”
Donghyuck turns to face him. “You’ve never been rejected a day in your life, how could you possibly know how I feel?” It’s the wrong thing to say again, because Jaemin’s expression takes on another pained angle.
“I wish you would stop saying things like you know anything about me.”
“And whose fault is that? You never talk about yourself.” Donghyuck says.
“I would if you would listen. You’re always too busy going on about your own problems. It's exhausting.”
“You’re exhausting, what the fuck?” Donghyuck says. He and Jaemin go back and forth on a daily basis, but this is the first time Jaemin has overtly said that he finds Donghyuck tiring. Exhausting, even! Donghyuck’s throat feels funny.
“I just don’t understand,” Jaemin says slowly, “Why everything has to turn into an argument with you.”
Donghyuck finally plugs in the air fryer. He doesn't even want these leftovers anymore, but it gives him something to do. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” he says, and luckily he doesn’t sound as choked up as he feels. “Jeno doesn’t seem like the type to enjoy waiting.”
Jaemin leaves without another word.
🌈
The problem with bottling up your feelings is that it’s a very literal metaphor, exactly like shaking up a bottle of something fizzy and sweet, with full knowledge of the pressure building, and the mess that will occur once you pop it open.
Donghyuck feels on the edge of that disaster now, sitting on the couch at one of Yeonjun’s parties while Mark and Renjun furiously make out next to him. He’d dragged them out because he was tired of staring at the walls of his bedroom fantasizing about the same boy, but they’re definitely having more fun than he is. Mark digs a stray elbow into his side, and Renjun makes a sound that is too similar to a moan, so Donghyuck gets up and hightails it somewhere else, that sticky and uncomfortable feeling clinging to him still.
It’s not that he thinks his friends are gross. (Okay, they’re pretty gross) It's just that they remind him of the root of his problem. Jaemin isn’t even here tonight, choosing instead to spend his Friday holed up in the library like a LOSER! Donghyuck can picture him bent over his notes, his Crocs off and forgotten on the library floor. He’s so painfully boring. And hardworking. And smart. Donghyuck is not drunk enough for this.
He pushes through the sheer amount of too-warm bodies and goes upstairs in search of the good alcohol, and accidentally opens the door to what is clearly someone’s bedroom. Jisung is in there, and his lanky frame is draped all over some guy Donghyuck recognizes as a regular from the cafe. Chenle, if he remembers correctly. They’re too busy to realize he was even there, and in his mind's eye the bottle he’s been shaking around garners more pressure. Why the hell is it so easy for everyone else? Why did Donghyuck have to go and catch feelings for the one person who dislikes him the most?
Donghyuck navigates away from there and opens the door to what he thinks is the pantry this time, and while he’s correct, he’s also not alone. There’s a bunch of smoke billowing out of the open door, and a familiar musky scent underneath all of that. Donghyuck coughs and fans the smoke out of his face. “Excuse me?”
“Donghyuck, hi!”
“Jeno?” Donghyuck blinks. “How do you know my name?”
“I literally know where you live. And Jaemin talks about you alot.” He pats the floor next to him. “Come sit! I’m so lonely.” Jeno pouts, so Donghyuck does.
“Do you smoke?” Jeno asks.
Donghyuck shakes his head no. He really didn’t think Jeno was the type to, either.
“Oh, shit. Sorry. Does it bother you?” Jeno asks.The joint between his fingers is practically gone, anyway, and since Donghyuck left the door open it's a little easier to breathe. Donghyuck shakes his head again. “I’m already a little tipsy.” he makes an ‘x’ gesture with his hands. “I came in here looking for something else to drink, and I don’t like mixing.” He doesnt move to do it right away, because now he feels an interesting obligation to keep Jeno company.
“Ohhhh,” Jeno says. “That’s responsible. Big Respect.”
“Thanks.” Donghyuck says. Jeno is…surprisingly calming to be around. Maybe Donghyuck shouldn't have ripped into him when they first met. “You’ve been hanging out with Jaemin a lot recently. Are you two…?” Donghyuck starts.
Jeno blinks slowly at him. “Are we what?”
“Are you dating now? Like, officially?”
Jeno breaks into laughter almost immediately. “Oh nooo. He's just a really good friend! And he actually holds me accountable when we study, that's all.” Jeno lets his head loll over on one of the empty shelves. “Besides, there’s someone Jaeminnie already likes.”
Donghyuck tries not to show too much emotion at this. “Really?”
“Really. Jaeminnie is a big softie.” Jeno says, and it’s so fond that Donghyuck feels out of place again. The nickname is sweeter in Jeno's mouth, somehow.
“Well, who is it? Who does he like?”
“I’m not supposed to tell you!” Jeno giggles. He leans over to whisper in Donghyuck’s ear. “It’s a big secret.”
“Can you give me a hint? Is it someone I know?”
“Nooo.” Jeno laughs again. “No hints. That’s cheating.”
“Okay. Are they cute?”
“Very.” Jeno nods. “Don’t tell Jaemin I said that though. He gets really jealous.”
“I see.” Donghyuck says. His tongue is bitter. He points to the shelf higher up on the wall they’re sitting against. “Do you think you could grab me that bottle of tequila?” Jeno blinks at him again. God, he must be completely gone right now. “I’m just going to make a margarita.” Donghyuck continues. “Pretty please?”
🌈
“I think you’ve had enough.” Jaemin says, and Donghyuck feels like crying from both sadness and disbelief. He’s so drunk that he’s actually hallucinating Jaemin’s voice. This has to be a new low. “Donghyuck, seriously.” Jaemin says again, and this time a cold hand wraps around the cup Donghyuck has in his hands. He'd lost track of how many drinks he’s had a while ago. After he crawled out of the pantry with Jeno things got a teensy bit blurry. He turns to face his roommate. Crush. Love of his life. Oh, whatever.
“Jaemin. When did you get here?”
“Just now. Jeno texted me.”
“Okay well that’s fucking great for you,” Donghyuck slurs, “Glad you’re finally learning how to have some fun.” He pauses and points at the cup in Jaemin’s hands. “Can I have my drink back?”
“No. We’re switching to water, and I’m taking you home, okay?”
“Who died and left you in charge? Give me.” Donghyuck says, but Jaemin has just enough centimeters on him that the cup is safely out of reach, held high above his head. Donghyuck slaps uselessly at his arm, all to no avail.
“Stop being mean to me…”
“What is your problem?” Jaemin frowns, and the annoyance creeping into his tone makes Donghyuck’s throat seize up. He’s always been a rather weepy drunk. It’s not fair that it comes through now. It’s not fair that he’s having this breakdown in front of Jaemin. None of this is fair. He grabs Jaemin by the collar and drags him in forward like he’s going to punch him, shake him, something —but whatever he’s going to say gets lost when Jaemin brings a gentle hand to brush at the tear rushing down his cheek. His hand is still cold, which tells Donghyuck that he really did just get here. Why would he come all the way to Yeonjun’s apartment to ruin Donghyuck’s night? Donghyuck’s vision goes blurry. What kind of game is Jaemin playing?
“I don’t like seeing you like this.” Jaemin says, “What’re you so upset about, hm?” His voice sounds so soft, sincere, but Donghyuck can’t see past all the water in his eyes. Jesus Christ. This might be the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to him.
“It’s all your fault.” Donghyuck sniffles, and all the fight leaves him at once. He’s too drunk for it to be fun anymore, he can’t stop crying, and Jaemin is still holding his face like it’s something precious. Does he hold the person he likes like this? Is he always this gentle? Why is Donghyuck the only one deserving of all his venom? Donghyuck shoves him away. “All. Your. Fault.” he repeats.
“What?”
“It’s you, Na Jaemin. I like you, and it’s ruining my life.” Donghyuck says. He drops his gaze to Jaemin’s lips, and even though they’re chapped from all his anxious nibbling, Donghyuck still wants it. He doesn’t realize he’s leaning in until Jaemin puts a hand on his shoulder. “Donghyuck,” he says softly, “You’re really drunk. You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I do know.” Donghyuck insists, and he buries his face in Jaemin’s shoulder and wraps his arms around his middle torn between shoving him and pulling him in. Jaemin freezes like doesn’t know what to do. “I like you so much. I want you to like me too, so forget about that other person.” Donghyuck slurs, and it’s not at all how he thought the confession would go, but if he doesn’t say it now then he’ll never find the courage to. Jaemin’s hand comes to rest at the top of his head, familiar. “What other person? Donghyuck, what are you even saying right now?”
“Forget about them.” Donghyuck insists, “Don't look at anybody but me. Please.”
“Will you still feel this way in the morning?” Jaemin asks, and Donghyuck nods immediately. “Of course I will. I do. I will.”
“Okay,” Jaemin says, “I believe you.”
Donghyuck isn’t sure how they get home. It goes by in murky flashes. He remembers Jaemin holding up a water bottle to his mouth, and he faintly registers the too-bright white of their apartment door opening, a splash of something warm and soapy on his face, spearmint underneath his tongue. He remembers climbing into a bed that’s not his and begging to stay there, and he remembers Jaemin climbing in after him, the cool press of his hands over his feverish cheeks.
🌈
Donghyuck wakes up with a hangover the size of Mars. It’s the worst he’s ever felt after drinking, and even rolling over to get away from the sunlight sneaking in through the closed blinds has him nauseous, his head protesting with a punitive throb. His face feels puffy, and his mouth is so, so dry. It takes him a while to register that he’s not even in his own room. There’s a stuffed bunny propped up on the flower patterned sheets, and the desk shoved against the wall isn’t cluttered like Donghyuck’s is. This is Jaemin’s room, he realizes, and the knowledge of how he got there has his head throbbing again. He groans against the pillows, completely and utterly disappointed in himself.
Don't look at anybody but me. Please.
Why the fuck did he say that? This is worse than any failed first kiss scenario he could have come up with at the beginning. Why on earth had he insisted on sleeping in Jaemin’s room? Why did he drink so much? His plan to get over Jaemin has failed tremendously, and now he’s going to have to move out of town for real.
“Hey,” Jaemin says. “You’re awake.” He has a towel around his neck and a glass of water in his hand, which he places on the bedside table before pulling out a drawer to dig around for some pain killers. His hair is damp, sticking out in crazy positions, and he smells like aftershave and sandalwood shampoo. Donghyuck wants to bury his nose in it, so he hides his face in the pillows instead. He probably looks as shitty as he feels, and Jaemin is still painfully beautiful, even when Donghyuck closes his eyes. The mattress dips under Jaemin’s weight, and he attempts to wrestle the pillow away from Donghyuck's face, with no success. “Donghyuck.” Jaemin chides.
“Donghyuck isn’t here. Please call back later.”
Jaemin wriggles a hand over his ribs, where he’s most ticklish, and is consequently able to pry the pillow out of his hands. “You bastard.” Donghyuck says weakly.
“Don’t be a baby. The water will help you feel better. I made you an omelet too, so get up before it gets cold.”
Food sounds good. Despite his initial nausea, Donghyuck’s stomach still growls at the mention of it.
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“I’m always nice to you.” Jaemin shrugs, and he reaches out a hand to help him sit up.
“No you’re not.” Donghyuck pouts, and it’s not to start a fight. He’s too queasy for that. “You think I’m exhausting, and that I talk too much. You’re not nice, and you’re always mad at me.”
Jaemin is quiet for an uncomfortable minute. “Donghyuck, I never—I’m not…I’m not mad at you.”
“So you’re not mad about last night? About…about what I said?” Donghyuck asks.
“No,” Jaemin says slowly. “Why would I be upset about that?” He leans forward to press a kiss over Donghyuck’s bangs before standing. “Breakfast first. And then we can talk, okay?” Donghyuck simply nods, too preoccupied with the ghost of Jaemin’s lips on his forehead.
Breakfast is a silent affair. It’s unlike Jaemin to be talkative in the morning anyway, and Donghyuck feels bad about putting him through all the trouble he did the night before. He finishes up most of his food before speaking up.
“Sorry about last night. I didn’t really…plan that out well. I’m sorry you had to take care of me.”
“You would’ve done the same thing for me.” Jaemin shrugs, and he sounds so sure about it. Had Donghyuck just hallucinated their rivalry? “Plus, you’re kinda cute when you’re wasted.”
“I’m always cute.” Donghyuck says, though that doesn’t stop him from blushing at the compliment.
Jaemin looks down at his cereal bowl, when he says: “I’m sorry for making you feel like shit all the time. I didn't realize you actually thought I hated you. I don't. I…I don't mind the teasing. I wouldn’t be able to live with you otherwise.”
“I'm sorry too, for being so annoying all the time. I know you need a break sometimes, but I do it anyway.”
“You’re not annoying, Donghyuck.” Jaemin says gently, “You’re just you. That week that you were all subdued was the worst thing ever.”
“Oh I think you enjoyed that a little bit.” Donghyuck hums.
“Okay, maybe you’re a little annoying,” Jaemin smiles. But you’re also really witty, and smart, and you’re really, really cute.”
Donghyuck’s brain blanks out completely. “I’m sorry, what are we talking about right now? Who?”
Jaemin rolls his eyes. “I’ve had a crush on you forever, Donghyuck. Jeno knows. Renjun knows, and I’m pretty sure he told Mark. Everybody knows but you.”
“I’m going to be honest,” Donghyuck says diplomatically, “I’m extremely vulnerable right now and I won’t be able to take it if you’re lying to me. So if this is your idea of a joke I’d really appreciate it if you just stopped.”
“There’s no joke…” Jaemin says. He leans across the island, into Donghyuck’s space, so he has no choice but to look directly at the sincerity written across his face. There's a hint of smugness there that makes Donghyuck's palms sweat.
“I like you, Lee Donghyuck. What are you going to do about it?”
🌈
When Donghyuck pulls away from Jaemin’s lips it’s with a Herculean amount of willpower. The boy on top of him licks his lips and goes in for another peck, right over Donghyuck’s swollen bottom lip. “You always taste so good.” Jaemin murmurs, going after his top lip next, “I wanted to kiss you for the longest time, you have no idea.”
It’s so sweet that it makes Donghyuck’s stubborn butterflies show up again. He uses the hand on Jaemin’s cheek to guide him down for another slow kiss. He still can’t believe Jaemin kept his feelings to himself all this time, even going so far as to help Donghyuck’s casual pursuit of Jaehyun. Wait a minute.
Donghyuck pushes back on Jaemin’s shoulder to stop him from sneaking in some tongue again. “Oh my god. Is this why you decided to help me learn? You were using me?” Donghyuck frowns.
“Uh, arguably you were the one using me.” Jaemin leans back and pitches his voice up in a poor imitation of Donghyuck’s voice . “ Oh please teach me Jaemin, I want you sooo bad.”
“Shut the fuck up, or I’m breaking up with you.”
“Aw, already? Are you gonna make me?” Jaemin teases.
It’s obvious bait, and Donghyuck really shouldn’t take it. It’s Sunday, which means there’s assignments to finish and quizzes to study for. He and Jaemin have already spent a majority of the week making out against different surfaces in their apartment and on campus. As it turns out, there was a lot of pent up tension between them that needed to be…addressed, and Donghyuck has already lost track of how many kisses it’s been—not that he’s complaining, or anything.
“We’re not doing anything else until you finish that problem set.” Donghyuck says.
“But you’re right here,” Jaemin pouts, “and my laptop is all the way over there.”
“Isn’t it due at 11:59 though?”
“Yeah. Don’t you have that econ presentation, too?”
Donghyuck groans when he remembers. Last time he checked, Jaehyun hadn’t even done his half of the slides. “Oh, fuck me.”
“Oh? I thought you’d want to wait until I took you out on a couple of dates first, but if that’s something you want to try we can definitely—”
Donghyuck shoves his boyfriend off the bed.
Being cute is really so hard.