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“I remember kissing you. Why do I remember kissing you?”
~~~
“Eddie!” Steve barely registers what’s happened before he’s grabbing Eddie by the shoulders and shaking him, begging the other boy to wake up.
Dustin is shaking where he’s sitting on the ground, still clutching Eddie’s body after who knows how much time has passed. Steve is desperate to comfort the kid, hold him to his chest until his sobs cease. But right now, Eddie is his first priority. Steve tries in vain to keep his own tears at bay.
There were so many things he had left to say to Eddie. “Please, Eddie. Please.” Steve begs. “Just wake up, damn it!”
He’s not breathing and his pulse is gone. Steve has no idea how long it’s been since he went down. He can’t tear his eyes away from the blood coating his face and throat. Steve knows from experience how painful it must’ve been for Eddie to die this way. His tears finally fall.
“You weren’t supposed to be a hero, Eddie. I told you to stay safe. Why didn’t you listen?” Steve’s hands shake as he holds Eddie’s face in his palms. He wishes he could’ve held him like this before. “Why didn’t you listen to me?”
Steve’s voice is raw from screaming Eddie’s name when he saw him lifeless on the ground. His words come out as barely a whisper, he doesn’t want anyone to hear him like this anyways. He’s supposed to be the strong one. He should be the one picking up the pieces this will leave behind. Not the one breaking them. Steve’s not supposed to shatter.
He presses his forehead to Eddie’s, allowing himself a shaky breath before he has to pull himself together for the rest of them.
Steve allows himself one more thing before putting on a brave face. He inhales and presses his lips softly to Eddie’s own. It was nothing more than a brush of lips, but he couldn’t move on without feeling it just once. Steve pulls away and goes to stand up.
He’s stopped by a sharp intake of breath. It came from Dustin.
“He— he moved! Eddie! Steve, he just moved!” Dustin speaks, almost too quickly and frantic to understand. “I felt it, I swear! I’m not lying, you gotta believe me. He’s alive!”
“Okay, I believe you buddy. I believe you!” Steve placates the kid, trying to get him to breathe normally again. He reaches for Eddie again, putting a hand against his chest trying to feel for a heartbeat or hell, even just the slightest twitch of muscles.
It’s faint, but Steve feels a slight rise and fall of his chest. He gasps, and instantly jumps into motion.
“We gotta get him out of here and to a hospital, now!” Steve snaps.
Everyone moves, Steve grabbing Eddie and hauling him into his arms. Everything after that is a blur.
~~~
Steve watches as his eyes flutter open. He grips Eddie’s limp hand so right it probably hurts, but he can’t help it. Eddie is finally awake.
“Steve?” Eddie rasps. His voice is scratchy and barely there, likely from being legally dead for almost an hour. (Steve had to leave the room as he nearly threw up when Dustin told them all how long Eddie had been down for).
“Yeah. Yeah Eddie, it’s me. It’s Steve.” Steve whispered, scared to break the quiet of the room. He feared even the slightest of things would break the fragile boy laying in the hospital bed.
“Was I a hero?” The question shatters Steve, and he breaks down. He lays his head down against Eddie’s arm, unable to do anything but cry. Eddie, ever so slowly, brings his other hand up to weave into Steve’s hair. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay big boy, I’m here.”
“You almost weren’t!” Steve explodes. Not bothering to hide the redness in his eyes and the fear etched onto his face. “You died! You were dead for an hour Eddie! I told you not to be a hero. I need you alive!” The tears are cascading down Steve’s face now, he doesn’t even bother to wipe them away as he knows they’ll just keep falling.
Eddie just hugs Steve to his chest, comforting him and holding him through his tears. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Stevie. But I’m here now. I’m here.”
Steve relaxes into Eddie’s chest at those whispered words. He is here, Eddie is here. And he’s breathing.
“Hey Steve?” Eddie asks, tentatively. Steve just hums from his spot against Eddie’s chest. “I remember kissing you. Why do I remember kissing you?”
Steve stiffens immediately. He goes to pull away and apologize, but Eddie’s hand in his hair stops him. “I-'' Steve takes a deep breath. “I thought I’d never see you again. It was my last chance to know what it would be like.” Steve admits quietly. He can’t see Eddie’s face, but he feels his hand clench against his head. Steve just waits for the moment that Eddie will shove him away and kick Steve out of the room.
It doesn’t come. Instead Eddie asks, “And?”
“And, what?”
“And what was it like?” Steve realizes where this is going, so he plays along.
“It was terrible actually. Wasn’t even reciprocated, quite an asshole move really.” Eddie giggles.
“Would you ever try again?” Steve can hear the hope in Eddie’s voice.
“I don’t know, do you think I should?” Steve needs Eddie to know how important this is to him. “I really like this guy, what do you think I should do?”
“I say go for it. I have a feeling he really likes you too.” Steve has lifted his head from Eddie’s chest now. Looking into his eyes, Steve doesn’t feel any fear anymore. So he leans in.
It’s the best kiss he’s ever had. They spend the rest of the day just kissing softly and reveling in the fact that they’re both alive and together. Finally.
Even when the rest of the group comes to visit Eddie to see how he’s doing, the two of them can’t pull themselves away from each other. After losing Eddie once, Steve doesn’t think he’ll ever let the other man out of his sight or reach.