Work Text:
It had all started when Walker showed up at his house. Call it stupidity. Call it loneliness. Call it being a fucking sucker. Alex knew he was letting the man into his house. Walker opened his mouth and was promptly pulled inside before he could finish his greeting. "This house is under surveillance, you dumbass."
Walker raised an eyebrow at him. Alex glared and folded his arms. "Is that what MI6 told you? Because I've been watching your house - in a non-creepy way - and I haven't seen one agent. And I can usually tell."
Alex threw up his hands and gave him an exasperated look. Walker gave him an awkward sort of smile. "In what world is watching someone's house not creepy?"
Walker shrugged and sat on his couch. Alex could already feel a headache forming. He shouldn't have opened the door. But Jack was in America until her father finished dying in hospice and Tom was busy. Plus, it wasn't like he and Walker didn't get along. "That sounds like a you problem. Anyways, I was hoping to stay here for a week or two and dodge a few people."
Alex rolled his eyes. Walker was bad sometimes. That meant he wanted backup in case things got extra stabby. "Also, I'm willing to trade sexual favors for that leftover pizza."
Alex choked on air. After a few seconds of wheezing, he felt his cheeks begin to flame. "Just take a few slices and put it back in the fridge."
Walker shrugged and went across the room. Alex decided that now was a great time to make up a project if he didn't have any for school. "I have a Spanish project to get back to."
With that, Alex all but ran up the stairs. Goddamn it, Walker.
Walker strolled into his bedroom about three hours later. "Aren't you supposed to take breaks to prevent blood clots or something?"
Alex nearly jumped from his skin. Walker peered over his shoulder. "You should have picked the bubonic plague and then ripped off that essay you wrote for Three."
Alex huffed. As if. "I can't. He and my school use the same anti-plagiarism technology. It's the worst."
Walker started laughing his ass off. Alex kicked him lightly and began typing again. Walker huffed and then flopped on his bed. Alex raised an eyebrow and then set his laptop on Walker to type. He closed the laptop to a very indignant expression. "I'm a guest!"
Alex looked down at him. He was trying to write an essay for class here. "You're more like the stray cat that turns up uninvited to eat my trash and then falls into the bin and needs rescuing."
Walker huffed and got off him. Alex rolled his eyes. Dramatic fucks. Every last person in Special Operations that he's ever met had been-
"Did you just fucking poke me with a fork?!"
Walker was wearing a shit-eating grin as he ran out of the room. Alex closed his laptop and took off after the man. He pounced on the man in a full tackle. "Now listen here, you little shit-"
The door slammed open to Tom's face. Tom took one look at the scene and rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't you be choking him in the bedroom?"
Alex flushed. Tom started laughing at him. "TOOOOOOMMMM!"
Walker looked extremely confused. And then very entertained. "You're both horrible and I don't know why I let you stay in my house."
They both exchanged a look and grinned. Alex knew that spelled trouble but he had an essay to finish. He left them both to it and went back to work. Hopefully, they would eat all the pizza. Then again, he wasn't exactly hurting for money. They could always grab take-out.
"ALEEEEEEX!"
Alex had been nearly done, too. Pssh, who was he kidding? "Yes, Tom?"
Tom didn't look all that upset. He looked smug. He turned towards a slightly pouty Walker. "See, I told you he would come."
Oh, for fuck's sake. "What are you two on about now?"
Tom folded his arms. Walker scowled. Alex was beyond done at this point. "He ate all the pizza."
Alex inhaled. And then exhaled. He threw Tom a Chinese menu. "We have like eight thousand takeout menus. Pick one."
It was true. Ian was the sort of man who kept stacks of different takeout menus near the front door. Organized. With clips and rubber bands. And price and flavor notes. Ian was weird. This time it was Walker who yelled.
"ALEX, WHO ORGANIZED THE TAKEOUT MENUS?!"
Alex rolled his eyes and walked towards the entryway. He might get back to his paper at midnight at this rate. If he was lucky. "Inside voices. Have you two heard of them?"
Walker and Tom exchanged a look. Alex glared them both into submission. "What do you want?"
They both looked at him. Alex wondered why he bothered. "Chinese it is, then."
Alex dialed the number. This was going to be fun. "Hello, my friends and I would like some dinner. We'll take an order of mapo tofu, an order of chicken fried rice, an order of stir-fried pea shoots, three wonton soups, and three slices of mango cake for dessert."
The order was repeated back to him. He thanked the woman and hung up. Tom and Walker were eyeing him. "How did you know what we wanted?"
Alex rolled his eyes. These two. "I've taken you both to Chinese places before. You two order the same thing every time."
Tom pouted. Walker rolled his eyes. Alex sighed. Crisis averted.
It was all going so well until Tom decided to turn on the news after dinner. Walker's face appeared on the screen. "Uh, Alex? It says this guy is wanted?"
Alex rolled his eyes. This should be easy to fake. "MI6 said I was wanted like three months ago when I went on vacation without asking. And on that Venice trip."
Tom snorted. There it went. "Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. You were on the terror watch list and everything. Weird. Do they…do this a lot?"
Alex elbowed Walker as he opened his mouth. He flashed Tom a smile. "Absolutely. At least once per agent on average. People don't like that vacation paperwork."
Tom flopped and made a noise. Walker was playing along. "VACATION PAPERWORK?! Majorly uncool."
Alex laughed at that. Walker snorted. He exchanged a look with Alex. Alex gave a half-shrug.
It was only after Tom went to bed and Alex finally finished his edits that Walker commented. "Vacation paperwork, eh?"
Walker was a little shit. But he was also giving Alex nice neck rubs. "Last I checked, you still had to file it."
Walker grinned and released his neck. Alex rolled his eyes. The man looked at him expectantly. "Sooo, the bounty on my head is actually-"
Alex waved him off. "Don't care."
Walker huffed. "Scorpia is willing to pay people who house wanted upper-level operatives about-"
Alex waved him off. "Don't worry about it."
Walker made an unhappy cat noise and sat down. Alex shrugged. "You're a hard man to pin down sometimes."
Alex turned towards him, eye twitching. "Was that another sex joke?!"
Alex glared at Walker. The other man slowly grinned. "It was an accident!"
That piece of shit. Alex was feeling like a wrestling match. He gave Walker a moderately annoyed look. "You better run."
Walker took off across the living room. Alex grinned. Home turf advantage was going to be fun. Especially with those two driving him barmy.
Fin