Chapter Text
STEVE
He doesn't remember much from before. He remembers the rainbow room, knows they were allowed to play there with whatever was available. Knows that they were allowed to go there whenever they didn’t need to train, or sleep, or eat.
There had been a rainbow on the floor and he thinks that maybe he kind of remembers two younger children, who looked nearly the same, that used the rainbow as a road for the toy cars. But he is never sure if it is really a memory or just imagination, just something he wants to imagine, wants to think is real, to fill the emptiness where these things should be. The memories of his childhood.
He remembers that he was hurting all over when he made his way through the empty hallways. They weren’t really empty, there were people lying all around on the ground, half slumped against walls or doors, red blood dripping everywhere, smearing over everything.
Most people’s limbs were twisted in odd ways and he briefly wondered why the same didn’t happen to him. He had no idea why he wasn’t with them, he just knew that he had to leave. He doesn't remember why it was so important for him to get out in that moment, but in the end he is glad that some small part of him had felt the need to get out. If he hadn’t, he’s not sure if he would still be around. Maybe whatever, or whoever, had killed everyone would have come back for him as soon as they realised their mistake of keeping him alive.
When he stumbled through the woods and fell he didn’t get up again.
Everything hurt and just the thought of moving again made him feel sick. He knew he needed to get further away but he couldn’t move, couldn’t make his body comply. The last thing he remembers of that moment is the sound of footsteps slowly drawing closer.
The day he was supposed to finally go to school like all the other normal kids felt like a nightmare. Seven, now Steve, had tried again and again to make them listen, the once nice couple who had taken him in and given him a name.
They had been great at first, had seemed to know where he came from and seemed to not care. They gave him a name, a name that wasn’t a number, and they promised him to let him stay and not tell the people he escaped from where he was.
He knew that they lied, that late at night, when they were sure he was asleep, they called the bad people who had kept him. They told them that he was with them and he wasn’t sure what the person on the other end said but no one ever came to get him.
They stopped being nice to him.
At first they tried to hide it but he could sense it in he way they looked at him, with barely concealed disgust. They officially adopted him and at night behind closed doors and in hushed voices they talked about how they didn’t want to keep him but the amount of money they were gotten regularly was too much to say no to.
He didn’t understand then, had been too clueless about the real world, but he does now. They never cared about him, just about the money. Ultimately, they didn’t let him stay because they cared about him, they let him stay because the Lab didn’t want him back and since they had already adopted him, there was no way they could get rid of him.
After three months of staying with them the school year began and they made him go, made him practice the story he was supposed to tell when someone asks where he was from every day for hours on end until he knew it by heart, until you could have been woken up at night and he could have recited it to you without being properly awake.
It was better than the Lab he had been in before, but only a bit, and sometimes he wondered what would have happened if he had stayed. He’d always shake the thought off very quickly, because thinking of the Lab made him think of twisted limbs and blood, blood, blood everywhere he looked.
The children at school were the worst, but maybe that was just because he was new. Or maybe it was his incredibly short hair because no one else had hair as short as him.
Everyone but one other boy the year above him. Their gazes met once over lunch and they stared at each other for a few seconds before Steve averted his gaze. He was sure that it was just a coincidence, that the other boy was just someone regular boy like all the others around him. That he was the only odd one out.
Those first years in middle school didn’t get much better for Steve but he held himself back and he learned how to act normal from the others around him. He figured out what to do and what not to do and by the time he started his second year of school no one seemed to care that they had all been mean to him the year before.
When he started Highschool he properly started over and worked his way towards becoming King Steve, the most popular guy of Hawkins High and for a short while he was able to forget about everything that happened. About his fucked about childhood and the experiments and the Lab. About the Harringtons who had been so nice at first but then turned distant and started hurting him when he messed up, who only kept him around because for some reason the Lab was paying them to keep him around, to not send him back.
The Harringtons who only showed their faces a few times a year and basically only kept him around to keep an eye on the house.
And for a while he pretended to be normal, like the watch on his wrist wasn’t hiding three numbers, permanently etched beneath his skin.
And it worked for some time. It did. He brushed off the nightmares that suddenly started to become more frequent again, pretended like they didn’t mean anything.
In the end he knew he should have payed more attention to them, knew that they were probably important. But he was too busy being King Steve and failing most of his classes. Until he ran after Nancy into the Byers’ house and came face to face with a monster, not a human one but one that is very real.
That’s when it all came crashing down around him again.
He starts to become aware of him when people start comparing them. He had always known about him, everyone knew him.
Eddie Munson, the freak.
But no one had ever dared to put them on the same level, not until Steve Harrington, former King of Hawkins High, took the deepest fall one could take and was forced to repeat his last year of school.
He knew Munson was on his third round of the final year of Highschool already, knew because last year Munson had loudly explained that this year he would graduate in front of a packed cafeteria. He didn’t manage to graduate that year and here he was again, spouting bullshit about how this was his year.
Steve rolls his eyes before he can stop himself and looks for a place to sit but all the tables are already filled with chattering students. That is one of the downsides of not being the most popular guy anymore, it's always a fight to actually find a place to sit and eat.
The last few weeks it had become a habit for him to sit at the same table as the guys from the Hellfire Club, simply because Dustin, Lucas and Mike are always sitting there as well and Steve doesn't really have a say in it. It's not like he can make Dustin get away from those guys. Still, every time when it comes to searching for a place to sit he tries to find an alternative before inevitably giving up.
Before he can take a whole sweep of the cafeteria someone calls out his name and his head snaps around to see Dustin excitedly waving at him. From the table with the other guys from the Hellfire club, including Eddie Munson.
He can't believe it himself but Steve just sighs to himself and makes his way over to them. Again. He had already fallen as far as one could fall, it doesn't even matter at this point and for some reason he also secretly enjoys talking to them, as weird as that sounds. Steve from two years ago would definitely strangle him for this.
As soon as he sits down next to Dustin, the younger whoops in triumph and turns to Wheeler who is sitting next to him.
“Hand over the money Mike!”
Wheeler rolls his eyes but hands some money over to Dustin without complaining.
“Did you really take a bet on whether I’ll come over or not, Wheeler?”, he asks incredulously.
Sometimes he can't believe that boy’s stupidity, especially when he considers the fact that he's been sitting with them every day since the school year started.
Said boy just starts to stutter out something that sounds a lot like unnecessary justifications before Munson interrupts him. “See who we have here, King Steve. Oh how the mighty have fallen.”
Steve just rolls his eyes.
For some reason Munson has decided that that would be his new standard greeting whenever Steve sits with them for lunch. Which is every day and Steve is seriously starting to wonder if Eddie will ever get tired of it.
“You know, at some point I’ll start to wonder if you’ve got nothing more original to say, Munson.”, he says before taking a bite of his lunch.
Eddie chuckles. “You want me to get creative, fallen king, I can do that.”
Steve just shakes his head, chuckling to himself.
It's weird but for some reason he and Eddie just seem to click. He doesn't want to admit it, because that would be ridiculous, but he actually likes him. Maybe they could have been friends in some other life, but as it is Steve had spend most of his time looking down on Eddie and people like him.
Now it's different though, Steve doesn't need to care about popularity anymore, he had already fallen as far as one could fall and he never even had real friends in the first place.
There's still the gnawing feeling that something bad will happen at the back of his mind. He knows that the gate to the Upside Down is closed again, knows that Hopper and Joyce have shut down the machine that had opened that stupid gate underneath the Starcourt Mall.
Something still seems wrong but he tells himself that it's just paranoia, nothing more. He just can't wrap his head around it, that it's over now and that the Lab has never actually gotten to him again, that no one ever found him.
Maybe it just seems a bit too good to be true, especially now that the others know the truth about him. He never meant to tell them, but Dustin had pulled him into the Upside Down business when he asked him to help find Dart and he couldn’t stand by and let the kids get hurt when he had more than just a nail bat at his disposal to protect them.
The rest of the school day passes in a blur. He knows that he should pay attention, that he's already on incredibly thin ice with the Harringtons. If he doesn't graduate this year who knows what they will do. They already threatened to kick him out if it so much as looks like he will fail any of his classes again.
Not that it's his fault really, it’s not like any of the people in the Lab had ever been concerned with teaching them how to read. Considering that, it's no wonder that he is so bad at English and had inevitably failed the class.
When Steve opens his locker to get rid of his books after last period two folded pieces of paper are in it. He doesn’t even have to see who signed it to know that the first one is from Dustin, he finds notes from Dustin in his locker nearly on the daily so by now he is very good at distinguishing his hand writing.
The note is just a reminder that he had promised Dustin to join him and his mum for dinner. Steve isn't sure how exactly it happened, but somewhere between Dustin finding out about his powers and the rest of the group figuring out that the Harringtons aren’t the nicest people, Dustin had decided to make Steve his honorary big brother, which meant that he had to join the Henderson family dinners regularly. He can't say that he minds, it's better than spending the evening in an empty house.
The second note he finds in his locker is something he had not expected at all, but at the same time a small part of him, one that he kept buried deep down, had hoped for it.
It's from Eddie. At least, he thinks it's from Eddie based on the capital E it is signed with.
He can't think of anyone else whose name begins with an E except El, but El is 1) in California and 2) very unlikely to ask him if he’d meet her at a hidden place behind the school during lunch break.
He isn't sure why Eddie is asking him to do that either, but he will definitely go there to find out.
Steve stuffs both notes into his backpack and slams the locker shut before walking out of the school building. Every day he spends in it is a day too long but at the same time he can't say that he minds it.
He has no idea what he actually wants to do with himself after school, the Harringtons would never actually let him work in their firm even though a lot of people seem to believe that he would, just based on the fact that he’s their son. He really doesn't want to correct anyone on that assumption.
Dustin and the others are already waiting by his car when he steps outside. The younger doesn't notice him approaching so Steve decides to sneak up on him and lightly pushes Dustin when he's close enough.
Dustin yells in surprise and Steve almost feels bad but Mike, Lucas and, surprisingly, Eddie start laughing and Dustin soon joins in so everything is fine.
Mike is the first to stop and asks if they could finally get going.
Steve crosses his arms in front of his chest and grins at him. “Why, need to be somewhere Wheeler?”
Mike scoffed.
“No, maybe.”, he hesitates for a moment before finishing the sentence. “I’m waiting for a letter from El and I’m pretty sure it arrived today.”
Eddie raises an eyebrow and asks in an overly theatrical way. “And who is this El, my young comrade?”
Before Mike can respond Lucas does it for him. “She’s Mike’s girlfriend, but she lives in California.”
Mike throws his arms up in exasperation as Eddie begins to chuckle. “Alright, we don’t want to keep Wheeler from his love. See you tomorrow guys.”
Before any of them can say something else Eddie turns around and leaves, waving a hand over his shoulder as a good-bye. The kids start to pile into Steve's car, Dustin on the passenger seat as always.
Another thing that has somehow established itself without Steve really noticing is that he's now driving all three of them to school and back home if their classes end at the same time.
It's fine, he doesn't mind, it gives him a few more minutes away from the empty house or, in the case that it isn't empty, away from the Harringtons.
He drops them off one by one until only Dustin is left since he's the one who lives closest to him and since he's joining him for dinner any other order wouldn’t make sense anyways. When they stop in front of the Henderson’s house he gets out of the car after Dustin and they make their way to the front door together where Dustin rings the bell.
It only takes a moment for them to be met by Ms. Henderson who smiles as soon as she sees them. Steve smiles back but he is sure that it is nowhere near as bright as the smile on the face of the woman in front of him.
He really appreciates that she always makes him feel welcome and lets him hang out with Dustin all the time even though he's definitely not in the same age range as her son, but sometimes he still feels like he's somehow intruding.
He shakes the thought off for now, he's staying for dinner so he can't let these thoughts catch him off guard right now.
Dinner goes well, like it always does with the Hendersons.
It's a casual thing, they just sit around the table, eat and talk about school and anything else that is going on. It's nice.
Steve can't know for sure because he never experienced it like this, but he thinks that this is probably what a normal family dinner should look like.
The Harringtons didn’t have many dinners with him because they are always away and don't like him anyways, but when they did it's always tense and no one talks. If they talk, Steve is never allowed to say anything. He isn't exactly prohibited from talking, but Mr. Harrington always says that he is only allowed to talk if it is a full and coherent sentence. At the time when the dinners had actually happened Steve had only been out of the lab for a few weeks and had no idea how to properly string words together so he never said anything to avoid their anger.
He gets back ‘home’ late but it doesn't matter since there is no one around anyways. The Harringtons have been away for about a month now and they won't be back for at least another.
When he was younger he had enjoyed the solitude but after a few weeks it had already started to bother him. It's always too quiet, the walls too white and the echoes too loud.
It reminds him of the hallways of the Lab. Hallways that had been covered in too much blood the last time he had seen them.
Before Steve can get too caught up in his thoughts he hears the distant sound of someone talking through a walkie talkie. Without hesitation Steve makes his way upstairs and to his room where he drops his backpack next to the door and lets himself fall onto the bed.
He grabs the walkie from his bedside table and presses the button at the side to talk into it.
“This is Steve, whoever just talked please repeat I couldn’t hear you. Over.”
He lets go of the button and instantly hears a groan from one of the kids. Probably Wheeler.
“Do you never listen, Steve?”
Yep, definitely Wheeler.
“Sorry for not being near the walkie while you where talking.”, he makes sure he can hear that he isn't sorry at all. “So what did you say?”
Mike groans again but he actually explains what's going on. “Okay so, I was thinking, or we were-“
Before Mike can finish the sentence Dustin chimes in. “Do you want to join Hellfire, Steve?”
Steve frowns at his ceiling. Does he want to join Hellfire?
He doesn't even know how DnD works, at least not really. All he knows comes from listening to the kids talk about it and even then he's lost on what they are actually talking about like half of the time. Dustin even tried to explain it to him but if he's honest most of the rules just go over Steve’s head.
He sighs before he presses down the button to talk into the walkie. “I don’t know guys-“
Dustin doesn't let him finish either.
“Come on Steve, you’re already part of the party anyways and we need a new mage now that El isn’t around anymore.”
Steve snorts in amusement and he makes sure that the others can hear him. “So you’re just asking me because you need a new mage, huh? Seems like a dangerous kind of employment since you seem to have lost your previous one.”
There is a big smirk on his face and they all know he is just making fun of them but Dustin and Mike still seem to take it very serious.
“You know that’s not what happened!”
“It’s not our fault that El moved with the Byers!”
Are Mike and Dustin’s respective responses.
It seems like about the best moment for Lucas to join the conversation. “You trying to make Steve join Hellfire again?”
They start to bicker among themselves for a moment and Steve is content to just listen for now.
He really isn't sure if it would be the right thing to join them. He likes to spend time with them, no question there, but he's already getting raised eyebrows as it is, spending so much time with a bunch of kids who are all a few years younger than him. And he really doesn't want to intrude on their DnD thing, it's one of the only things the group actually does without him.
They aren't actually by themselves since they're playing with the other Hellfire guys but still, it feels wrong to intrude on that even if they want him there. What if he completely messes up because he's just too dumb to understand the rules and then they’d regret ever asking him to join their little nerd club?
He is pulled out of his spiraling thoughts by someone calling his name and this time it isn't coming from the walkie. Someone is downstairs, calling his name.
He sits up abruptly and puts the walkie close to his mouth so they would actually hear him while he tries to keep as quiet as possible.
“Hey guys, I’ll think about it okay but I really need to go right now.”
Without waiting for a response he turns the walkie off and slides it underneath the bed. No one would think to look there.
He slowly walks to his open door and through the hallway towards the stairs leading down.
Mrs. Harrington is standing in the hall close to the door and looks like she is just about to call his name again when she spots him at the top of the stairs.
She crosses her arms across her chest. “Took you long enough. Come down and help carry to suitcases, they won’t get in by themselves.”
He suppresses the urge to say something and quickly walks down the stairs and through the open front door to take the suitcases out of the car.
It's no use to argue with her and he can just be glad that it's just her who's coming home today. Steve isn't sure if he can deal with Mr. Harrington right now, the man is almost always in a bad mood and will definitely find a reason to let it out on him.
He has no interest to find some sort of bullshit explanation for a random bruise on his face, the school year had just started and he hasn't really crossed hairs with anyone yet so he can't even brush it off as a fight without clarifying who he got into a fight with.
After everything is inside he excuses himself to his room, telling her that he had already eaten. Mrs. Harrington just shrugs her shoulders and goes about the house as if he isn't there in the first place so Steve goes upstairs and locks himself in his room before she can remember that he exists.
He slides down to the floor with his back against the door and just stares at the space in front of him for a while. He really hopes she'll be gone in the morning.