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Even if your mind someday lets him slip away, even after all the marks he leaves on your body fade the way that paint sinks through a canvas, you think that your heart will never let him go.
It isn’t an easy thing, to affect you this way. It isn’t an easy thing to affect you at all. But somewhere between, holding one another through wordless screams-because really what words are there for what you’ve all been through-and those long sleepless nights filled with sweet shallow kisses that made the world fall away, he’d made a home inside of you.
Even on your worst days, the ones where you can’t quite remember Bro’s voice or the exact way he smelled. Karkat is there with that facetious irritable façade that’s so close to the way you keep a wall between yourself and the world that you can’t help but smile.
He’s still a goddamn firecracker in a warehouse made of C4, even after the Game ends. Even when it’s just the two of you on a planet all your own. You’ve got to add ‘Stubbornness’ to the ever expanding list of reasons you love the little shit.
You sort of knew you and Karkat would be dealt a shared planet in the end. You’d been inseparable for years now. You honestly didn’t know if you’d be able to deal without him. You didn’t used to believe in all that crap you saw in his movies. How weak did you have to be to need another person that goddamn bad?
But with you and him it was less a need and more a plain old fact of the universe you’d all stitched together. You weren’t Dave and Karkat, you were DaveandKarkat and that was very different. You found that you didn’t really mind being a packaged deal.
It had taken you so long to come to terms with that. Not just in the intellectual way, that shit was easy. Being with Karkat made you feel less like a compressed aerosol can and more like a human being, ergo, you spent time with him. Simple. It wasn’t until he got sick of waiting and just kissed your dumb ass that you could feel the beginnings of something shaking you out of the haze you’d been in since Bro died.
Even years later Karkat still tastes the same, like sugar and violence.
Now you’re laying beside him in the gentle moonlight of your bedroom. Karkat had mostly designed the ‘hive’ you live together in. Your role had been to make sure he didn’t tear it all down before it was finished. Like him your hive was romantic, all high ceilings and long tall windows. It was beautiful and when it had been completed you’d stared like an idiot for a minute and a half. It was so unlike your apartment that for a moment you’d been homesick.
You’ve adjusted by now, both to the hive and it’s location. By the sea, since neither of you had gotten a chance to visit one before. You’ve found the sound of waves and Karkat’s slow heavy breaths are your favorite lullaby.
But you aren’t sleeping tonight, your attention has been stolen by the naked grey body beside you.
On nights like this you can tell he wants to take it just as slowly as you do. It’s the anniversary of the day the Game started and neither of you could sleep if you wanted to. But you came prepared for this, the two of you having stocked up on what you’d want yesterday. So far you’ve only used one thing.
Karkat brought in several leafs of a plant that had been growing not far from your hive. He’d looked incredibly excited though he was trying to keep it down so you wouldn’t notice. As if.
“Whatcha got there Karkles?” You’d asked.
He’d started a little, hair puffing up in that way that told you that he genuinely hadn’t noticed you sitting three feet away.
“It’s a plant.” His voice had fallen flat.
“I noticed, why'd you snap it up?”
The tips of his ears had turned bright red and folded down, then perked back up while he tried to keep from showing what he was feeling. It ended up being moot after a minute since if he wanted to do something with the plant, he’d need to explain what it was for.
“The anniversary tomorrow. This plant is uncommon on Alternia, and it’s uses are extremely varied so I don’t want to hear a fucking word about it when I tell you why I grabbed it.”
You’d sat patiently still and waited for him to finish.
“It’s different in Alternian of fucking course, but you’d call it ‘Heart’s Delight’. It’s a…it’s an aphrodisiac to trolls, among other things.”
You’d of course decided to give him shit for the rest of the day, but secretly you couldn’t wait to put it to use.
And you are now. You’re tracing over each and every line of his muscles you can see with the lightly lemon scented leafs. His pupils are stretched as wide as they go and he looks like a kitten, if kittens were sexy. He can hardly hold still as you pay every bit of his skin the same attention although he doesn’t demand that you go faster. You’ve got all the time in the world to simply indulge in each other.
A shuddering sigh passes between his parted lips as you run the plant up over his hips. His hands are laying beside his head and his head is leaned back, bearing his throat to you. It’s such a display of trust that for a moment you can’t remember how to breathe. He trusts you enough to be completely vulnerable, physically and emotionally. Love swells heavy in your chest and you can’t help but kiss him, desperate to have that sugar-and-violence taste on your tongue.
Karkat always kisses you like he’s sure you’ll leave any moment. Each movement is a plea for you to stay, each brush a silent ‘please, I need you, don’t leave’. You kiss him back as if to say that you’re not going anywhere, you’re his forever.
Your kisses heat up when your hand slips between his legs. Subtly he opens them wider for you and there’s that trust again and that makes fireworks go off in your head. He hasn’t unsheathed yet, despite the chemicals from the plant soaking into his skin and your careful attentions. You fix that by pressing gently on the area just above his sheath and then rubbing in slow firm circles with just your middle finger. He gasps and then makes a noise like he’s trying to purr but can’t quite get enough air.
Your lips part and he’s panting against them, trying to hold still as you run the plant leaf over the delicate sides of his nook. He’s so soft down there, smooth in a way you could never manage with all the hot wax in the world. It’s such a contrast to the rest of his body which is all muscle and rough skin that it makes you shiver every time.
“Dave.” He gasps your name out like a prayer and you’d happily go deaf if just that word was left ringing in your head.
“Karkat?” You return looking down into his face.
For not the first time you’re struck by how beautiful he is. Not in a traditional ‘eyelashes for days and pouty wet lips’ way, but something altogether his own. His thick eyebrows are drawn together sharply, unlike when he’s yelling where they play the role of weights over his eyes. Eyes which by no small effort on your part are no longer burdened by heavy bags. There’s still the soft indent of dark grey bruises beneath them but you doubt after so many sleepless years those will every fully disappear. But now instead of ever present ire, his cherry red eyes glow like the night light he insisted your get for yourself, comforting and warm and full of affection he won’t speak. Thick, short black lashes beat against his eyelids as your hand presses somewhere particularly pleasurable. His thick lips, usually contorted in a frown are caught between his sharp teeth and you can see how hard he’s trying to make as little noise as he is and it’s still as sweet as it’s been every time before this. You’re particularly fond though, of the way his nose wrinkles up a little. It’s the most stern feature on his face, long and broad with the slightest of points at it’s tip. Even when he frowns it stays unmoved, yet with your hands on him that stoic line shifts and it makes your heart sing each and every time.
“Dave,” He breathes again, a little more insistently, “Please.”
Who are you to deny such an earnest plea?
His hands go to your shoulders as you slot your hips between his legs. You kiss his left temple before making eye contact with him, cherry meeting crimson, as you slowly push inside of him.
It’s always slow going, his body wasn’t made for your’s, but you’re patient. You’ve seen the endless streams of time coiling and unwinding, tearing and stitching itself back together again, patience is kith and kin to that kind of thing. Even if you’re nestled into the most welcoming and glorious body in the cosmos.
He’s panting harder now but he hasn’t broken eye contact with you, he never does when you’re first pushing inside of him. His fingers twine in the little near white strands of hair at the base of your neck as he struggles to keep himself still as well.
Once you’re fully seated in him, you pause to make sure you’re both alright. Your arms are trembling with the effort of keeping upright and you want to slide your arms under his back and grip his shoulders and rock into him until you both see God, but you don’t. You have to be careful until his nook relaxes around you.
“I love you,” He breathes, “You…you know that right?”
Your heart gives one hard wet beat as your breath catches in your throat. You’re not going to cry, you will fucking not cry.
“I know, babe.” You breathe out, leaning in to kiss his eyelids, “I love you too. God I love you.”
He breathes out a shuddering breath and his hands clench at your shoulders, not hard enough for his claws to break the skin, but enough to let you know you’re needed. You can feel how much he wants to apologize for himself, apologize for all those sharp words he says and the harsh way he handles you sometimes. But it’s nothing, it’s just Karkat, just the angry little alien boy you fell in love with at sixteen and love no less now at twenty.
“Shhh,” You say, shaking your head, “It’s okay Karkles, it’s just me. You don’t need to be sorry.”
He looks to the side and you can see the faint pinkness shinning in his eyes. He takes a deep breath and then one more, pushing back the tears. You lean in to kiss his cheeks and oh, that does something down below.
“You can move now, Strider I’m not made of glaaaaAAH.”
You kindly interrupt him with a nice long thrust of your hips.
Trolls don’t usually need to move much, what with the whole writhing bulge thing and all, so whenever he bottoms like this he’s always so sensitive. Each and every thrust gets a moan out of him even when he tries to muffle them. You think that might be your favorite part, the sounds he makes. They’re so honest, so open that you don’t have any problem understanding what he’s feeling, even when he makes those chirruping noises.
He tosses his head back and moans your name and you give up on trying to resist holding him. Your arms wrap around his back and your hands clutch his shoulders while his arms go around your back and up into your hair. His breath is in your ear and his moans are driving you closer and closer to the edge.
“Dave,” He whimpers, oh man you wish you’d recorded that, “Cloooo-aah, close!”
You nod and reach down between you to stroke his bulge and his back arches hard enough lift both of you up a little. It makes you go deeper into his nook and you’re sure you’re going to lose it any minute now.
“T-together, okay?” You ask.
He nods frantically and you hasten your strokes on his bulge while it wraps affectionately around your fingers.
“Fuck Dave!” He breathes into a hiss and you’ve got to agree.
“Come on Karkitten, cum with me.”
That’s it, he’s done and by proxy you’re done. He grips hard enough onto you that you’re going to be sore in the morning but right now you can’t seem to find it in you to care. His moan and yours fill the air and your leg hits the forgotten plant leafs, sending them fluttering to the floor.
When you can finally breathe again, the first thing you do is go in for a kiss. It’s not mating season so you don’t have to wash a bucket’s worth of genetic material off of yourselves immediately. That leaves a nice amount of time for languid afterglow make outs.
He pulls away sooner than you expect though and looks you straight in your eyes again.
“Dave, when I said I love you,” He says, his voice cautious and soft as a tip toe, “I meant it. I don’t just…I don’t just pity you. I human love you.”
In all your time with your infuriating, wonderful, maelstrom of a troll, you don’t think you’ve ever heard him say that before. It hits you dead in the heart and combined with the bliss still buzzing around from your orgasm you give him probably the biggest, most genuine smile you’ve ever shown anyone, forgetting to be embarrassed about the emotion it implies or even the unevenness of your teeth.
“I love you too Karkat, in every way there is.” You reply, nuzzling yourself up to his neck in that little space reserved just for you.
He kisses your head and you think he’s smiling too, “Happy 4-13 Dave.”
“Happy 4-13 Karkat."