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Louis stepped on stage, the lights highlighting his feathered brown hair and prominent cheekbones. He took a deep breathe to calm his fluttering stomache and turned on his small microphone. "Excuse me could I have everyones attention please?" As the crowd slowly halted their conversations and turned towards the stage, the normally boisterous Donaster lad cleared his throat nervously.
"I know there's not supposed to be any performances tonight," Louis began, "but I have something that I need to get off my chest and I really can't hold it in any longer," Louis sat down at the grand piano and attached the small microphone to his gray suit jacket. "I hope you all dont mind."
Louis stole a glance at the security team but none of them moved to stop his inpromptu performance.
"This song is dediated to someone very special in my life... even though things have been tough lately I-I want to tell you I love you no matter what." Louis's eyes searched for the one gaze he really wanted to see but couldn't seem to find in the well dressed crowd." I dont know what I would be without you in my life. And I want to shout from the rooftops how much I love you but there's always been something in the way." Blue eyes finally met deep green as he said, "Well, I'm done with that now."
Louis turned his head back down to look at the piano keys and slowly began to play. The haunting melody filled the quiet auditorium. The last whispered conversations stop. The curly haired boy caught in Louis's gaze was frozen in place.
You got the words to change a nation but you're biting your tongue
You've spent a lifetime stuck in silence afraid you'll say something wrong
If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song
So come on come on...
Liam managed to slide his key into the lock and push the door open with his arms loaded with bags. "I brought take out! God knows how hungry Niall's gonna be -" Liam's abruptly stopped his message when he saw the two boys practically grinding together on his couch. Louis's head shot up and Liam worried for a second he might break his neck moving at that speed. The oldest member of One Direction and the youngest looked back at eachother with identical burning faces.
Louis sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck and turned towards Liam again, "Umm...this isn't what it looks like?" Right then Zayn and Niall strode into the flat . Harry groaned, throwing his arm over his eyes. "This is all your fault," he whispered to Louis.
Zayn glanced down at Harry and Louis still somewhat intertwined on the couch, looking decidedly ravaged.Then he saw Liam's stunned features and a smile lit up his face, "You've gotta be shitting me! You totally walked in on them didn't you!" He turned to Harry and Louis, "You were going at it on Liam's couch! Oh, this is just too good."
Louis hid his face in Harry's neck and giggled. Harry uncovered his face and pulled Louis's head out of the place he had just stopped kissing only moments before. The slightly smaller man looked up into Harry's eyes which were bright with barely contained laughter. "I guess it's time we told the boys then. Although apparently Zayn already figured it out," Lous said looking pointedly in the dark haired boys direction.
Harry stood up pulling Louis with him and intertwined their fingers between their bodies. "Ok well..Niall close your mouth please." Niall who had been watching the scene unfold like the daytime soap operas his mum used to watch, closed his mouth with a click and a mumbled "Sorry."
"Well, um if you guys didn't already know," Harry began, "Lou and I are together. I'm sorry we hid it from you lads but its only been a few weeks and we didn't know really know how to tell you..." he trailed off slightly concerned at his best mates lack of response.
Liam seemed to come to his senses and placed the chinese take out boxes on the counter of his kitchen. "Well we all kind of had a feeling about it.. I mean you guys don't exactly hide anything. I figured you'd tell us when you were ready. I just didnt expect to walk in on... that." Liam shook his head, "I mean really guys? On my couch? When I was only gone for like five minutes tops to pick up dinner?"
Zayn saw Louis's mouth turn up to a mischvious grin the Chesire cat would envy. Zayn put his hands up halting whatever the other lad was about to say, "Stop! I don't want to know! Lets just eat dinner yeah?"
Harry looked at his best mates standing in the kitchen and smiled hesitantly, "So you all are cool with this? I mean I know its a little weird and we have to think about the band but-" Niall stopped him this time and said, "Harry, of couse we're ok with it! We love you guys, in fact we all thought this would happen much sooner." He paused and smiled mischeviously. "Hey would you mind not telling David yet? I bet him you wouldnt get together for atleast another few months and I really need that 20 quid"
Harry and Louis yelled in unison"NIALL!" Niall looked taken aback, "What?! Jesus sorry." Then they all burst out laughing and Harry put his arm around Louis's shoulder, kissing him on the top of his head. They smiled at eachother then joined the line forming in front of the six take out boxes Liam had layed out on the counter. Everything had turned out better than they had expected.
Come on come on
You've got a heart as loud as lions so why let your voice be tamed
Baby we're a little different no need to be ashamed
You've got the light to fight the shadows so stop hiding it away
So come on come on...
"Louis I think you should do it."Harry ran his fingers through the soft hair and massaged the temple of the boy laying on his chest. Louis picked his head up at that comment and furrowed his brow in confusion. "Im sorry what? My boyfriend is telling me I should date some girl I've never even met? Thats rich. I can't believe you are going along with this!"
Harry sighed and stroked his fingers down Louis's arm to reassure him. "I'm not saying that. I'm telling you to fake date a girl youve never met." Louis opened his mouth to retort but Harry stopped him.
"All you have to do is take her to coffee a few times, go shopping with her, maybe dance at a club," Harry winked, "nothing serious!" Louis stared at him in shock. "Harry... I can't do that! Thats like... cheating or something. Definitely lying, I mean what if someone found out?"
"Louis, no ones going to find out," Harry said exasperated, "You're a hot single famous singer. No one is going to think anything weird about you going out with a model."
Louis glared up at his boyfriend. "A hot famous GAY singer. And last time I checked I'm not single." Harry laughed, "No, but to the world outside this apartment you are. And Eleanor is nice, I met her at a party a while back. I'm sure the fans will love that I "introduced" you to her. Bromance and all."
Louis smiled at that thought but then became serious again. "And Eleanor is just okay with this? Pretending to be my girlfriend? My beard..?" He scoffed at the word.
"Yeah shes cool with it. I mean why wouldnt she be?" Harry stated, "She'll be in the public eye again, hell she will probably get all kinds of jobs from this. And she gets to hang out with you," Harry pulled the smaller man closer, "What's not to like?"
Louis sighed, "Why cant you just date her if you know her so well? You're the womanizer not me." Harry laughed. "Because I'm the womanizer! I can't have a girlfriend, every gossip magazine in the UK would probably keel over."
Louis laughed at that, "Oh really? EVERY gossip magazine in the UK, huh? A little full of yourself there." Harry smirked "Just speaking the truth! No I'm kidding, but sometimes it feels that way. God, its like they have nothing else to write about. "Harry and Caroline, Harry and Emily, Harry and freaking ----" it's insane! Havent Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears left their mansions lately? Seriously."
Louis rolled off Harry to lay on his back beside him. He covered his heart with his hand dramatically."Oh my poor baby Hazza! The adoration of a million fangirls- and boys- too much for you?"
Harry rolled his eyes. "No! You know I love the fans. I just wish we could have some time to ourselves sometimes..." Louis looked over at the shirtless man lounging on his bed. "I hear you Curly. You know," Louis swung his leg over Harry's body and straddled his slim hips. He leaned down to whisper in his lovers's ear. "We're alone right now." Harry looked at the twinking blue eyes just a few centimeters from him. "Is that so? You have an idea of how we could spend this time?"
Louis's eyes darkened with lust, "I may have some ideas... And, since I'm about to have a girlfriend to split my time with, we have to take advantage of every second we have." Harry's eyes widened in surprise. "So you're going to do it?" Louis nodded, "I'm not happy about it but I'll do it. I know you're not ready to come out yet, and this will take the pressure off us a bit. Maybe we can actually sit next to eachother in an interview now," Louis mused.
"Thanks Lou.. I know this isn't what you want but I apreciate you going along with it anyway. For me." Louis bent his neck and nibbled at Harry's throat, leaving one of his trademark love bites. "The things I do for you babe! Now how about you do something for me?" Harry smirked at Louis's suggestive tone. He suddenly flipped them over so he was on top and slid down the older man's body. "I think I know just the thing..."
Come on come on
Louis haunting voice filled the room and everyone watched enthralled as his delicate fingers moved seemingly impossibly graceful along the piano keys. Harry let the lyrics wash over him like a wave, the riptide bringing him closer and closer to the front of the room, where Louis was playing.
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till all the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers im not afraid
They can read all about it, read all about it...
"You two need to be more careful!" a gruff voice repremanded, "This cannot come out, the backlash would kill One Direction."
The slightly shorter of the two lads sitting in front of the man groaned in agrevation. "The fans wont care- in fact they'll probably love it! They've already combined our names and keep tweeting for us to kiss!"
Charles had been working this job a long time. Long enough to know that two lads who were supposed to be the poster boys for 'wholesome fun' coming out as gay would not go over well. "Thats not all the fans. And those select ones who do do that, they love your bromance NOT your romance. They would be as shocked and appalled as anyone else if you were to ACTUALLY come out as gay." He sighed and leaned forward in his chair in what he hoped was a calming action. "Look boys, I'm sympathetic to your feelings here. I've known you guys for three years now. I've seen how you two act around eachother, you really love eachother. But most people are not as accomodating as I am."
"Especially since your fanbase is mostly 12-16 year old girls who would die if you so much as looked at them. And their conservative parents who would never in a million years let them buy an album from 'that gay boyband'."Charles could see Louis seething behind his blank mask. "Because thats all you would become if this were to come out. No one would care about your music anymore, all anyone would report would be the scandal of it."
Louis bit his lip and glanced over at Harry before speaking again. "It's killing us though. The hiding. We cant do it anymore. Everything we do... every grocery trip, every tweet, every touch is being photographed and analyzed. I feel like everytime I even look at Harry I get called in here and yelled at! Its ridiculous. I just want to hold my boyfriends hand in pubic. Is that too much to ask?"
Charles smiles sadly and replied, "Unfortunately, yes it is. I'm sorry boys but this is the way it has to be if you want One Direction to succeed. I hope I wont see you here again. "
Louis ground his teeth to not say anything more to the manager, and followed a silent Harry out of the room.
Once they were down the hall it was another story. "I can't fucking believe this!" Louis fumed, "I aready have a fake girlfriend! What more do they want? Me to fucking marry her?" Louis threw his hand up in anger and continued. "They cant do this to us!"
The previously silent Chesire boy placed both hands on Louis's shoulders. "Lou, calm down, please."
"Wha- Harry?" Louis sputtered, "You dont agree with him do you? You didn't say a word in there! Please tell me you dont bloody agree with him on this."
"Louis.. just hear me out for a second. I've read some of the comments from people about us- about all of us! Liam, Niall, and Zayne too. They already think were all fucking eachother and comment about how disgusting it is and how we should all burn in hell." Harry's voice broke on his last word and Louis 's face twisted in concern. "Oh Haz...no. I told you not to read that stuff... it's not good for you!" He reached his right hand up to card his fingers through Harry's curls.
"There are shitty people in the world," he continued, "there's no question about that. Maybe it's just the optimist in me, but I think the good people far outweigh the bad. Not everyone will agree with what we do, but that doesn't mean they all will outright hate us either. As long as we keep making good music people will keep listening, no matter who we love."
"And in case you didn't know.. we kind of are fucking eachother so they were right about that." Louis joked, smiling when Harry's lips upturned just a little.
"Just... think about it ok? Because I really dont know how much longer I can take this hiding and lying thing. It's just not who I am." Louis dropped his hand and walked away from the taller boy. If he had turned around he would have seen the indecision in Harry's face, and the tears quickly gathering in his eyes.
At night we're waking up the neighbors while we sing away the blues...
"WHY? WHY CANT YOU JUST ADMIT IT! YOU'RE AFRAID!" Louis's rage filled eyes stared accusingly at Harry. "WHEN DID YOU BECOME SUCH A COWARD, HARRY!"
Harry did not back down. "WHY CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? I'M JUST NOT READY! I DON'T WANT TO! WHY CANT WE JUST STAY THE WAY WE ARE?"
Louis practically growled, "WE CAN'T STAY LIKE THE FOREVER! ITS IMPOSSIBLE. IT'S BEEN MONTHS, WILL YOU EVER BE READY?" Louis took a deep breathe and continued, "Someday it's going to come out. I'd just rather it be from us not a photo in the paper... please."
Harry flexed his jaw but was not swayed." No, just no. I can't. I don't know if I will ever be able to."
Louis turned away from the man he thought had been perfect for him. Louis and Harry, Harry and Louis, Larry Stylinson. They were supposed to be unstoppable. When did life stop being a fairytale? The dejected man began to walk out of the room, before the object of his thoughts grabbed his wrist.
"Lou? Wait. Please talk to me... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Come here baby, please." Harry slowly pulls Louis closer to him and wraps his arms around the smaller boy in a hug. Louis stayed stiff in his arms and turned his head away from Harrys lips. "I'm sorry Louis...I'm just not ready yet, try and understand. I love you."
Louis relaxed into the embrace of the boy he knew he could never leave. The boy who owned his heart. He turned his head back towards the soft pink lips and kissed Harry, pouring all his anger, sadness and resentment into the kiss. Harry returned it with even more fervor and led him towards the bed.
Making sure that we remember yeah because we all matter too
If the truth has been forbidden then we're breaking all the rules...
"Cant you see what you're doing to him Harry? This is not okay! He comes to my flat every other night, totally miserable. You're hurting him!"
Harry stared back at Liam in a mixture of confusion and anger. "I'm just doing what management wants! What he should be doing in order to keep this working! He knows we have to keep up appearances!"
Zayn scoffed at his friend."But you dont have to throw it in his face Harry! Adele? Rihanna?--- You know what Louis answers? Do you even listen to him?" Zayn crosses his arms in front of his chest. "I know about your little code- Susan Boyle. Every single time. And every interviewer cracks up because hes good at faking it. But that's supposed to mean something to you Harry. That's supposed to mean something!"
Harry winced as if Zayn had slapped him. He didn't think anyone had caught on to the code him and Louis had made to fool management. After many people jokingly told the boys that Harry looked like Susan Boyle, Louis had began to use her to answer any question he would have said Harry's name for if he could have told the truth. Harry did the same for Louis after an interviewer told him Louis could be Frankie Sanford's brother.
"He can't be that hurt! He hasn't said anything about it in weeks, I thought he had just forgotten about it." Niall laughed cruelly, "Thats because he LOVES you, you idiot! Harry, he wants to make you happy but you're making him hate himself more every day." Harry looked in shock at the normally carefree Irishman. "Have you even noticed he's not in bed with you when you wake up?" Niall continued, "No? That's because he's in one of our, "Niall gestured to the other two boys cornering Harry in the recording studio,"flats, sitting on the couch completely miserable. I don't know how you can't see it Harry. He's breaking. And it's your fault."
So come on come on
Lets get the tv and the radio to play our tune again
It's bout time we got some airplay of our version of events
Theres no need to be afraid I will sing with you my friend...
"Im sorry Haz... I need to do this. I cant keep hiding anymore its killing me. I'm too tired." Louis wiped the tears from his eyes and backed away from Harry. "I know its not the same for you and I respect that.. I don't understand or agree with it but I know now I'm not going to change your mind."
"But I talked to the boys and they're okay with it. They understand that I need to do this and are behind me 100%..even if you're not. Don't worry I won't out you in front of everyone if you're not comfortable. Just please... can you be there for me? It'll get rough for me after this... and I could really use your support."
Harry desperately grabbed for Louis's hips to hold him in front him. "Louis! Of course I'm going to be there and I'm sorry I can't be up there with you I just.. I just cant. I think you're right, I'm afraid Lou. I'm absolutely fucking terrified and I wish I was as brave as you are."
Louis pulled Harry's head down and softly kissed his forehead, letting his ips linger there for a few seconds as he savored this time with the younger man. "I know Haz.. I know. Shhhh now, it's okay."
Louis hated to leave now but he needed to find a microphone before the charity gala ended."Ok I gotta go now.. I'll see you later yeah?" Harry gently pulled his head away and grabbed the handle of the storage room door they had found a few minutes of privacy in. "Yeah Lou.. I promised I would be there. I wish you would tell me what you're going to do though. Don't you trust me anymore?" Louis looked at the beautiful green eyes before him. "I want to Haz I really do... I'll talk to you after."
Come on come on
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till all the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers im not afraid
They can read all about it read all about it
Harry felt tears come to his eyes as he stared at the beautiful man on stage singing his heart out. Maybe, just maybe, he could be brave like Louis. Maybe he could handle it... as long as they were together they could survive anything.
Yeah were all wonderful wonderful people
So when did we get so fearful
Now were finally finding our voices
So take a chance come help me sing this
Louis voice built in volume and emotion and he tore his eyes from Harry, unable to look at him any longer.
Yeah were all wonderful wonderful people
So when did we get so fearful
And now were finally finding our voices
Just take a chance come help me sing this
Harry finally found his voice and his tenor joined Louis's alto lifting the melody to new heights.
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
Louis almost faltered in surprise at the voice which sounded so perfect with his own.
Liam gasped and the whole audience felt chills down their spine and the two men sang together in perfect harmony.
I wanna scream till all the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers im not afraid
Harry stepped on stage never stopping his vocals and walked over to where Louis was playing. He soothingly grabbed Louis' hand and pulled the flustered boy away from the piano, letting their voices ring out unaccompanied.
They can read all about it read all about it
The two boys seemed to be in their own world as they walked to the center of the stage and held hands. They sang only for eachother, no one else mattered.
I wanna sing, I wanna shout
I wanna scream till all the words dry out
So put it in all of the papers im not afraid
They can read all about it, read all about it...
As the last note died out all the audience could hear was the heavy breathing of Louis through his microphone- and his slight hitch of breathe as Harry leaned closer.
Harry almost reverently brushed Louis's hair away from his eye and cupped his cheek. Harry knew he must look like a lovesick fool at that instance, but since that was what he was he didn't let it worry him."I love you," he stated as simply and easily and he would say his own name.
Louis smiled through his tears and Harry slowly turned his neck down to brush his lips against Louis's. It was a pure kiss. No tongue, no motion, just a chaste kiss relaying the love they both felt for eachother. After a few seconds they slowly pulled apart and rested their foreheads together breathing the same air. They seemed to forget anyone else was even in the room.
Niall began clapping and soon everyone joined in- a standing ovation for the pair of lovers.
Harry and Louis turned towards the crowd a bit dazed- but with their hands intertwined between their bodies. Louis stared shocked at the reaction of the crowd. Harry whispered in his ear, "This is all for you babe, you're amazing."
Louis smiled. "No, it's for both of us. We did it Harry. This is really happening now, no turning back. " Harry's face broke out in a grin too, "I know. Thank you for sticking with me... I swear I will make it up to you for the rest of our lives."
"You better!" Louis laughed, then become serious again. " ...the rest of our lives?"
"If you'll still have me," Harry said wiping a stray tear from Louis cheek. Louis didn't reply but grabbed Harry in another, much more passionate kiss.
"Of course Ill have you you twat," Louis said as they broke away from eachother, "You didn't even have to ask."