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Sara and Kokomi's first kiss is, for once is Sara's life, a thing of pure impulse and improvisation.
The time, the place, the course of action itself, all of them completely unplanned, sprung out of thin air. The only thing that they'd actually agreed on was that they'd meet at Kokomi's house to study.
Sara hasn't kissed anyone before. It's a silly thing to worry about, and she knows that Kokomi doesn't care, but she doesn't know what to do, and everyone else her age have probably had at least some experience, and when Kokomi suddenely start to lean forward and tilts her head to the side, she has no idea how to react.
Kokomi, as always, seems to notice.
She stops, and leans away, and then she places her hands around Sara's. "We don't need to do anything if you don't want to, Sara, I don't mind."
Sara does mind, though.
Since their relationship started, they've done so much hugging, resting their heads against each other's shoulders, and gently running their hands through each other's hair. As happy as it makes Sara, as much as it makes her feel more loved than ever before, she is longing, starving, for more.
She doesn't want to wait any longer. She just doesn't know what to say or do to show it.
Slowly, agonisingly so, Kokomi's hands shift to cup Sara's face. When she looks into Kokomi's eyes, Sara finds not the softness, she is used to, nor the determination she had expected, but the same insecurity she herself feels.
Just as slowly as Kokomi had moved her hands, Sara tips her head to the side and starts leaning forward.
Kokomi responds in kind, and Sara's eyes cross as she focuses in on Kokomis nose.
(It's so cute. Like a button. Sara has always loved it. It feels silly to think about in this particular moment in time, but distracting herself like this when she's nervous instead of facing it head on is a piece of advice Kokomi herself had given Sara just before she'd finally confessed.)
She ahs no idea what to expect. She isn't very good at doing things for the first time, and she always feels so stupid if she doesn't get things right at once, but when her heart pounds in her chest now it isn't because she's scared, or because she's on edge, but because she's excited.
(She can hardly believe she's going to kiss someone, let alone Kokomi. They used to fight so much back when they'd first met, always having different opinions about everything. It feels surreal to have gotten this far together.)
Just before their lips meet, they both stop again.
Part of Sara is relieved, because her pulse is thundering in her ears, and she's slightly dizzy, and she's so nervous, but the rest of her wants to scream in inpatient rage.
They both stare, and Sara's cheeks are aflame in moments.
"K-Kokomi. . ."
"Yes, Sara?"
"Could you. . . Close your eyes?"
Kokomi doesn't. She stares instead, clearly surprised by the request. The back parts of Sara's mind screams that it was a stupid thing to say and that she's ruined everything, but she presses on.
"You are very pretty, and looking at you makes me happy, but I am also very nervous right now and this would be much easier if you didn't look at me. . . "
Instead of berating her, or stopping, or any of the other catastrophic things she could do, Kokomi just smiles. "You're so cute, Sara. But if I close my eyes I won't be able to see you, and you're very pretty too. That doesn't sound very fair, does it?"
As she speaks, she leans forward more, and with a jolt Sara realises what she intends to do, and her thoughts run to a gallop before suddenly coming to screeching halt as Kokomi's lips touch her own.
What follows is sloppy, and a bit awkward, but it makes her feel so loved.
Just a few months ago, so little time but also feeling like eternity, she would've never imagine being in love in the first place, let alone kissing someone.
She feels as if she's about to melt. Light enough to fly. As if she could lift a mountain.
Too soon, it ends, and she feels suddenly empty.
When her eyes refocus, Kokomi is staring at her expectantly.
"Well, did you like it?"
It makes her face heat up again. She did like it, she hasn't felt so happy in years, but admitting that would be a show of the kind of vulnerability that she has spent most of her life guarding herself against.
As the silence stretches, she just nods instead, and Kokomi giggles.
"You really are cute. I'm glad, though. I liked it a lot, too."
She nods again. "Then I am content." It's such an easy statement, saying almost nothing, but it still feels as if the weight of the oceans has lifted from her shoulders.
Kokomi liked kissing her. Her. Her stomach is doing flips and the back part of her minds feels like doing a victory dance in celebration.
"I suppose you'll have to be on your guard from now on, Sara."
When Sara stops to look at her again, Kokomi's smile has turned toothy.
"Pardon?"
A cheeky smile, and an equally cheeky nod. "Yeah. Now that I know how nice it is I don't know if I'll be able to hold myself back for too long whenever you're around. You don't mind, do you?"
She doesn't need to think for even a moment. She doesn't mind at all.
After all, if their first kiss was this nice, surely the second will be better, now that they have practice?