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“We’ll get to be together in heaven.”
The words floated back to the surface of Yuu’s mind as he stared at the bones in the bed. It did not sound like such a bad end, dying in the embrace of your loved one. The couple must have gone to sleep and never woke up into the post-apocalyptic world.
Yuu set his now-empty can of tuna with tomato sauce on the floor. He had a makeshift bag filled with similar ones, so he would not have to worry about food in the coming days. The town he had taken refuge in seemed to have attracted neither vampires nor Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Grandparents whose children and grandchildren had deserted, not even bothering to visit for Christmas.
“I’m also leaving my family behind…” he murmured as he looked at the framed pictures.
He felt the slightest stir in his mind but Mika was silent the moment Yuu reached out for him. Mika was still mad, refusing to understand Yuu’s selfish choice. The only moments he talked to Yuu was to warn him of potential dangers.
Yuu sighed. He knew he could find Mika within their joined minds easily, but he did not want to violate Mika’s will more than he had already did. Instead, he cradled his sword to his chest, wondering if Mika could feel his warmth.
His eyes fluttered shut. All this running had made him tired and even the inhuman creature he had become—or had always been—needed some rest. Yuu was about to fall asleep when a shiver rocked his body. He sneezed. But before he could even consider getting a blanket, a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his shoulders. Demons were warm, Yuu mused as he leaned back against Mika’s chest. But Mika’s body was rigid, far from the gentle, though cold embraces Yuu had grown accustomed to.
“Are you still mad?” Yuu risked asking. As expected, he was faced with stubborn silence. “Sorry. I know things are going to be tough for a while. But we’ll get our happy ending, I promise.”
Still nothing but the warmth. Promises would lead them nowhere. It was now they needed to focus on.
“We need to talk, Mika.”
“What’s there to say? You’ve already made your decision.”
It felt like it was the longest thing Mika had told him in days.
“Don’t be like that, Mika.”
“So it’s Mika, now? No longer Mikaela?”
It was going to be tough. The Mika who had bared his heart to Yuu had retread into his shell, and Yuu would not burst his way through. Despite Mika’s strong hold and the fact he had become a black series cursed gear, he was still the fragile boy who would sob at night, yearning for affection Yuu had been too proud to give.
So Yuu opened his own heart, showing Mika his most cherished memories. But rather than eating his desires, Mika barraged his mind with pictures of Mikaela’s corpse in their glass coffin.
“I know you remember.”
Mika’s accusation was well founded. Yuu indeed remembered the memories of each and every of his clones, and he kept them locked behind a thick, opaque screen that Mika had yet to try to breach.
“I won’t,” Mika said. “But I should. I should take over you and bring you—bring us back.”
At least I care enough not to force you. Yuu could hear the veiled words in Mika’s voice. He could not deny Mika’s unwillingness to overpower him played to his advantage.
“I’ve turned into the bad guy, haven’t I?”
Mika did not respond, which was enough of an acquiescence that Yuu winced. And still…
“I’ll save you.”
“Even if this is not what I want.”
“Do you really want to die?”
“Yes.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying. I’ve always wanted to die. I wanted to die after my parents crashed their car, but the doctors at the hospital would not let me. I wanted to die alongside Akane and the kids, but Krul would not let me. I wanted to die before I turned into a monster, but you would not let me. And now… now that my death can have a meaning, you won’t let me attain it.”
“Mika…”
“You’re taking advantage of my love for you.”
Yuu almost grasped his sword and willed Mika back into it, but his fingers hovered a hair’s breadth away from the ornate hilt.
“An eye for an eye? I hurt you, so you hurt me.”
“No, I’m only stating the truth,” Mika said.
“What about my love for you?”
“Fabricated.”
“You’ve access to my memories. Do you still insist that the feelings I harbor for you are fake?”
“Yes.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
Yuu was about to show Mika more of his memories to prove his point when he was barraged with images of Mika holding up a knife. Yuu had no body of his own in this landscape so he could only stare as Mika stabbed the frail body of Ako, could only listen as Taichi screamed in terror. Blood spilled on the futons. Mika’s yells of protest were punctuated with laughters and sobs.
“I killed them all. You should hate me.”
The vision vanished, replaced by the sight of the skeletons on the bed.
“Any sane person would have blamed me. I even became one of the vampires you hated, and yet you’ve welcomed me with open arms. It’s not normal, Yuu-chan.”
Yuu tried to wet his lips but his mouth felt dry. The violence of the images had shaken him up badly. Still, he mustered enough will to talk.
“You want me to hate you… because it would prove that my love is real?”
The contradiction was such that Mika’s hold grew slack, allowing Yuu to turn around. He had expected Mika to be crying, but Mika’s eyes were dry and weary.
“Mika… Do you believe your love for me is real?”
A flicker of pain, and Mika looked away. He wanted to protest. Logic and emotions were fighting inside of him, denting Mika’s armor.
“I feel that I should not have fallen for such an idiot…” he finally answered. “So maybe my love was indeed compelled by the fact you’re needed for Shikamadouji’s plan.”
“Do you really believe that?”
Mika’s face twisted with pain. “I don’t want to believe it.”
“Isn’t that proof enough?”
Mika shook his head. “It’s more complicated than that.”
“You’re always thinking too hard,” Yuu said. “And before you call me an idiot, hear me out. If humans are biologically made to reproduce, does it make their love for each other fake?”
“That’s…”
“What about parents? Are they merely motivated by an instinct to protect their offspring? Then why do some parents try to harm or hurt their kids?”
“Yuu-chan…”
But Yuu would not let Mika interrupt. “What about our family? Did we stick together because of a mutual need for protection?”
“Stop…”
“I know Guren meant to manipulate me. But I still believe him when he says he loves me. And even if the family he gave me was meant as a leverage to get me to agree with his plan, I still love them.”
Yuu placed his hand over Mika’s chest. He felt a pulse that was most likely his own, but it did not matter. One heartbeat was enough for now.
“My love for you is the real deal, Mika. Who cares why I feel that way?”
“If you truly love me, then let me go…” Mika said, his voice finally breaking. “Go back to the ones who love you. The one who can’t live without you.”
“What do you want, Mika?”
Mika closed his eyes. He wanted to retreat into the sword, but Yuu held onto him. By doing so, Yuu dug into his mind. He picked the broken shards of Mika’s deepest wish and put them back together. He then saw the house, the kids playing, and he and Mika tucking them into bed. The sun rose and fell. Leaves grew and fell. Akane and the kids left one after another. Yuu’s hair turned gray, Mika’s white. And then they were two skeletons embracing each other for eternity.
Yuu allowed his mind to return to reality. His heart felt strangely full, like his stomach would after a hearty meal. Was this how Mika felt when he fed on Yuu’s desires?
Mika was clinging to him. While Yuu could not see his face, the twitching of his tail told him Mika was embarrassed.
“I’m going to miss it once you turn back into a human.”
“Idiot…” Mika mumbled against his neck.
Yuu laughed. Then he grew serious.
“My desire is you, Mika. I do want to save your heart. But I also want a place in it. And let’s be honest, Akane would kill me if she knew I did not do my hardest to protect you.”
A memory played in his mind.
“Mika is smart, but he ends up shouldering too much stuff. I’m counting on you to help him, Yuu-chan.”
“Why do I have to? … Fine, I’ll help. But just so you get off my case, okay? Not because… I care or anything…”
“I cared a lot, though,” Yuu said. “So let me help you, Mika.”
Mika raised his face. His eyes were wet, his lips trembling into a smile. “I guess we’re in for a wild ride.”
And before Yuu could reply, Mika kissed him. The brushing of their lips was short before Mika’s image evaporated, but not before Yuu could glimpse his tail twisted in the shape of a heart.
“How cute.”
“Shut up and get some sleep,” Mika said in his mind.
Yuu smiled and patted the hilt of his sword. He would be able to rest with an easy mind.
When the sun rose, they would be back on the roads.
Greece was a long way off.