Chapter Text
It was 11am on a Monday, far too early in the day to be contemplating doing what Charlie was about to do. As he walked from the train station to Elle and Tao’s one bedroom flat in Leeds, he felt his body simultaneously, paradoxically filling with nervous energy and relaxing. He’d only left his childhood home in Kent four hours ago, but already he could feel himself unwinding, away from the penetrating gaze of his mother, away from the steady drip of scrutiny and criticism. He breathed the warm August air in, beating a familiar path up to Elle and Tao’s apartment, pausing only slightly before ringing the bell. The speed at which he was buzzed in raised some alarm in Charlie, but to be fair his central nervous system was already on high alert. He bounded up to the 3rd floor walk up to be greeted with a hug so enthusiastic he was practically knocked backward down the stairs.
“Charlieeeee! My lifesaver, my career maker, my muse! You made it!”
Charlie pulled back to look at his friend Elle’s beaming face, she really was pure goodness on this earth, and he could no longer force himself to be chagrined. He melted back into her hug and allowed her to drag him and his duffle bag into the flat.
“I really appreciate you doing this, Charlie, so much, and I know it’s a commitment. I’m so sorry we don’t have a proper room to offer you, but I created a little ‘Charlie space’ here in the alcove off the living room, with a curtain and all, so you can have some privacy. With just us two here now, it should be quiet and peaceful but Tao arrives in two weeks and I don’t want it to feel too cramped until you’re able to move into your own flat at the end of the month.”
“It’s no problem, Elle,” Charlie reassured her. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, but I trust you, and honestly letting me crash here and get out of Kent an entire month earlier than I’d be able to if I had to wait for my own flat to be available on September first is a godsend. I don’t know how many more passive aggressive comments I could have endured from my mother since she found out I switched majors from applied mathematics and economics to English literature with a music minor. You’d have thought I’d casually confessed to dismembering people for fun over the dinner table.”
Elle let out a laugh at that. “And now just look at you, shacking up with a painter and allowing her to capture your likeness en déshabillé, the scandal! Come now, put your things down in the Charlie space and get comfortable, I’ll put the kettle on.”
Charlie drew the curtain on the alcove back, and he was impressed, but not surprised. Elle’s artistic talent showed through in every detail of her flat. The living room was painted in a dusky, somehow still warm coastal blue, and the bedroom in an inky, marine blue. He’d been informed by Elle that they were Farrow and Ball’s Oval Room Blue and Hague Blue, and informed by Tao that no amount of “creating a living space that nurtured your soul” was worth spending an entire month eating beans on toast and ramen in order to afford multiple £110 gallons of paint, but Charlie was secretly inclined to agree with Elle’s choice. What’s a few weeks of beans on toast when you can step into a space and feel transported? Charlie loved going to flea markets and tag sales with Elle, she had a great eye and he’d picked up a few nice items himself with her there to guide him, for pennies. Oil paintings in gilt and wooden frames, an antique bookcase that was more than earning its keep, and a surprisingly comfortable red velvet sofa filled the rest of the living room. Charlie’s nook had been furnished with a comfortable chair that pulled out into a twin bed, and a tiny little cocktail table upon which perched a small arts and crafts lamp, perfect for reading at night.
He wandered back out to find Elle in the kitchen. “Perfect timing, I was just about to bring this over to you!” she smiled at him as she handed him a cup of tea and they sat down at the small table in the eat-in kitchen. She knew better than to ask him if he was hungry, and that he’d get himself something to eat when it was the right time on his schedule.
“Ok so, I don’t want to stress you out, but in all honesty I am hoping to get started and catch as much of the natural light as we can today. Would you be opposed to diving in now?” Elle asked.
Charlie let out a small, nervous squeak, then steeled his nerves. “I suppose it’s better to dive than to wade, hmm?”
Elle smiled diabolically. “Oh, I absolutely agree.”
They walked back to the bedroom, where Elle had already set up her easel. Charlie always loved Tao and Elle’s bedroom, the way the dark walls enveloped you and contrasted with the dramatic gilt and fabric headboard. She’d dressed the bed in clean off-white sheets topped by a rich and snuggly looking rust colored velvet duvet. On the nightstand was an elegantly composed tableau of two ripened pears, a small wooden board with a bit of cheese and an olive-handled cheese knife, and two half-empty glasses of wine with delicate smudges around the rim. It was dreamlike, and highly suggestive. Charlie was only relieved that Elle had chosen pears over peaches, as that would have surely been a bridge too far.
Catching his nervousness, Elle suggests they put on some music. “Any requests?”
“Umm, I don’t know” mused Charlie “how about Antony and the Johnsons?”
“NO Charlie, NO. I refuse to play ‘Fistful of Love’ and try to paint while you lay there looking maudlin and reminiscing over all the closet cases and fuckboys who’ve messed you about. No no no. No maudlin Charlie. Today - we want confident Charlie. Relaxed Charlie. Louche Charlie. I know you have it in you! I’m going to show you.” With that, she put on Hush - Still Woozy Remix by The Marias and turned around so that Charlie could have some privacy to get undressed and under the covers. She turned back and began arranging him, with a funny sort of detachment. He felt like clay, but not in a bad way. Elle was just in a completely different mode, she was in the zone, artistically, and Charlie felt almost privileged to be able to witness it so intimately. When she’d arranged him to her satisfaction, she stepped back and sighed. “Perfect” she said aloud, but really only to herself. Charlie wasn’t about to correct her, although the duvet was draped far lower on his hips than he’d have chosen. His left leg was poking out bare at the edge of the bed, and his right arm was bent behind his head, slightly propped up on the pillows and headboard. His left hand and arm lay exposed, relaxed alongside his body, with the palm face up and fingers slightly curled. Elle had tilted his chin so that he was gazing out the window just past the night stand. She was going to get his good side. He smirked a bit, suddenly hit with a bit of giddiness and mirth.
“Don’t say it,” Elle warned him.
“I kind of want to say it,” giggled Charlie
“If you MUST get it out of your system, you may say it this ONE TIME Charlie. And I mean it, one time, so make it count.”
Charlie squealed and shrieked “ELLE, PAINT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS!” before collapsing into giggles.
Elle rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress a small smile. “Ok then now, compose yourself, sink into the music, and let’s get to work”
*****
The first two weeks of the month passed mostly in calm warmth and companionable silence. Charlie and Elle were so close, they didn’t need to fill space with unnecessary words. They knew each other’s patterns and habits, and how to read each other’s moods. Elle knew when Charlie needed a break from modeling for her, and Charlie knew when Elle needed someone to drag her away from the easel and out of the flat to get some fresh air and see other human beings, even if at a distance. Charlie would often curl up with a book in his alcove in the evenings, while Elle worked furiously at her sketches and studies. They made sure on Friday nights to take a real break, bringing home takeout sushi they couldn’t really afford and pairing it with cheap wine that induced hours of reminiscing and laughing about their childhoods together in Kent. When Tao arrived, their evenings were punctuated with art house films and goofy impromptu dance parties. Charlie made sure to conspicuously make himself scarce for hours at a time several evenings a week, there wasn’t a movie left at the local cinema that he hadn’t seen yet. Elle made a point of changing the bedding back to the portraiture set every time she asked Charlie to model for her again. He didn’t really have the stomach for hitting the bar scene in the evenings, not just yet. His last fling had ended poorly, and he was still licking his wounds. On one of their wine and sushi nights when Charlie had gotten quite tipsy, he joked to Elle that rather than download another dating app, he’d prefer at this point to stand in the middle of the campus absolutely starkers and shout at the top of his lungs, “Who here wants to be in a committed relationship with me?!!”
*****
Before he knew it, August was over. Charlie took his duffel bag over to his new flat, it was a studio near Tao and Elle’s, and it was the first time he’d been able to afford actually living alone. He’d managed to make a fair bit of money with drumming gigs and lessons for local kids, and he was looking forward to having his own place without roommates to argue with over whose turn it was to clean the bathroom and who used the last of the toilet paper. Elle had agreed to go foraging for furniture with him that weekend, as a thank you for modeling for what was at this point the most important painting she’d present at Leeds Art University. If her work was good enough, she would have the opportunity to show at a real gallery in London. Charlie was so proud of her.
On Saturday evening, after a truly exhausting day punctuated by Tao frequently and vociferously referencing his lower back pain, the trio stood back to admire their handiwork. With Elle’s savvy at second hand shops they’d managed to kit out Charlie’s apartment rather respectably, even tastefully. “It looks like a literal adult man lives here," Tao said with a smirk, earning a playful punch in the arm from Elle. “Face it Tao, our boy is all grown up.”
Charlie’s drum kit was in one corner of the studio, abutted by an olive green microsuede love seat. His bed had an actual wooden headboard, a must according to Elle unless he wanted to “look like a man-child.” He wasn’t up for repainting the off white walls, so Elle compromised and warmed the space up with a dark red persian area rug instead.
“Well, that’s that Charlie. Enjoy your new freedom, and if all of our hard work doesn’t result in you turning this place into an absolute den of gay iniquity I’m coming to take it all back, because you don’t deserve it” laughed Elle.
“I solemnly swear to do my best” promised Charlie.
“Oh, and I don’t want to put you on the spot, but it would mean a lot to me if you could come by for the opening night of the show at LAU next Saturday. I mean, I know you might feel awkward drinking wine and milling around a semi nude painting of yourself, but I really want you to see the finished work. And you know no one at LAU is going to make you feel uncomfortable.”
“Of course Elle, I wouldn’t miss it” promised Charlie.
*****
The night of the show came around faster than Charlie was emotionally prepared for. He pregamed in his apartment with a vodka soda while changing outfits ten times before heading out in his trusty black skinny jeans with the torn knees, paired with a forest green crewneck cashmere sweater that his sister Tori had splurged on for him last Christmas. It was the most fitted sweater he owned, as Tori insisted on buying him clothing in his actual size, versus the baggier sweaters he'd favored for years. He grudgingly admitted that she was right, it looked good on him. He wore it when he needed an extra boost of confidence, and to feel connected to Tori's love and support.
Upon entering the gallery at LAU, Charlie was immediately confronted with a table full of small plastic cups of wine and breathed a sigh of relief. It was shitty wine, but needs must when the devil's driving and there's no way he was going to get through this evening without a steady stream of liquid courage. He grabbed a cup of white, figuring he didn't want to walk around with stained teeth for the evening, and quickly spotted Elle in the crowd.
"Charlie! You made it! You look amazing," Elle smiled at him warmly while pulling him into a hug. "Let me introduce you to my friends." Elle rattled off a list of names that Charlie forgot immediately, while he smiled around and shook hands. He couldn't help but notice the extreme friendliness of the group, and the extra wide smiles on a few of the faces. It was nice, but a bit, unsettling? There was something almost lupine in the quality of a few of those smiles, but it was nothing he could quite put his finger on. He excused himself to have a look around, quietly browsing the artwork while sipping his wine until he finally happened upon it. Elle's painting. Charlie let out a quiet gasp. Elle was always secretive with her works in progress, so this was his first time seeing painting, at all. He was speechless and nearly breathless. It had all of Elle's trademark artistic qualities - warm, moody, transportative. It was him, but somehow not him? Or a version of him that surely existed, but he'd been unaware of until now? He looked so relaxed, casual, at home in his body. He almost never felt that way. More than that, he had to admit without being conceited, it was extremely sexy. The way Elle had painted the light falling on his skin accentuated his sharp jawline, made him look lean and lithe instead of frail and skinny. Before he could ponder further, he felt a strange hand on the small of his back and jumped a bit with surprise.
"It's you, isn't it? In the painting? Are you a model?" Charlie turned to meet a pair of large brown eyes under floppy brown hair, a delicate smile that was a bit of a smirk leveled at him. He almost choked on his wine.
"A model? Hah! Um, no, not at all, I'm just a childhood friend of Elle's," Charlie said as he could feel his entire face turning beet red. This man standing next to him was really attractive, and still hadn't removed his hand from the small of Charlie's back as he smiled down at him.
"Oh really? Do you go to LAU? I haven't seen you around before."
"No, no, I go to Leeds University," Charlie replied. "Are you a friend of Elle's?"
"Sure, we've had a few classes together. I'm Ben, Ben Hope."
"I'm Charlie, Charlie Spring. Nice to meet you Ben" Charlie smiled shyly at him. Ben smiled back.
"Well, I hope this isn't the last time we run into each other" said Ben "maybe we could do it on purpose sometime?"
Charlie was a bit taken aback by his forwardness, and Ben was sporting the same vaguely lupine, wide grin he'd noticed on some of the other faces glancing at him from around the gallery. He felt oddly like he was being put up for auction at a livestock fair. "Um sure, you can get my number from Elle if you'd like, I'm actually about to take off now," Charlie said before moving to the side so that Ben's hand had no choice but to drop away from his lower back. Ben looked a bit disappointed, but recovered quickly and said "Sounds great Charlie, I'll text you sometime then."
"Great" replied Charlie before heading over to let Elle know he was going home. She smiled at him with understanding and hugged him goodnight. Charlie was starting to feel really uncomfortable. No one was being unkind, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being stared at surreptitiously by various parties around the room, and people were whispering. He didn't want to be paranoid and assume the whispers were about him, he just wanted to get the hell out of there and back to his flat. He moved as quickly as he politely could to find the exit, breathing in the cool night air with a deep sigh of relief before hunching his shoulders against the wind and rounding the corner of the building to book it back home. Well, he would have booked it back home but immediately upon rounding the corner he ran smack into a warm, tall ginger wall.
"Oof!" Both parties exclaimed simultaneously.
Charlie glanced up at the stranger he'd collided with, the apology already leaving his mouth "I'm so sorry!" he said before meeting a warm amber gaze and promptly losing command of the English language. He'd never seen anyone so fit in his life. The stranger was looking down at him with a sheepish half grin, tilting his gorgeous features in a friendly, amused fashion. Charlie quickly catalogued his perfect bone structure, fine ivory skin sprinkled with the most adorable constellation of freckles, and thick auburn hair falling over the side of his face. He found himself filled with the nearly irresistible urge to run his fingers through that hair, grab it and yank it gently down to his face so that he might press his mouth against those tasty lips...
"It's alright mate, I was the one looking down at my phone, I'm late to meet my friend, as usual I'm afraid!"
"Ah so chronic lateness is your toxic trait?" Charlie quipped with a saucy little smirk on his mouth, shocking himself. Am I really blatantly flirting with this ginormous heterosexual? What has gotten into me? he thought.
The man laughed in response, and Charlie noticed his ivory neck and cheeks were now decidedly pink. "And here I thought my toxic trait was texting while walking and running people over." Ooh thought Charlie, gorgeous and funny. I might die right here on this street corner.
"Well, I'd better get going then, uh... Have a good night!" He stammered out before walking carefully past Charlie and hurrying into the exhibit that Charlie himself had just left.
Charlie watched him turn the corner, and whether his eyes drifted downward to take in a brief glimpse of a truly lovely, juicy looking behind, well that was for him to know. His mood had changed dramatically just from the course of that brief interaction, and he floated home with a smile on his face and a warm, fluttering feeling in his stomach. Who was that stranger, and would he ever bump into him again?