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“Ugh, this is impossible,” Max groans frustratedly as she lets her arm drop over the edge of the couch, her chemistry textbook falling to the floor with a thud. Her other arm covers her face as she lets all the air out of her lungs.
The sun has long since set and the harsh white light of the lamp above her head stings her eyes. The light also isn’t helping the headache that’s been forming from spending most of her Saturday trying to catch up on homework either. Max thought she finally found her feet at Blackwell Academy and was adjusting to the punishing amount of homework her teachers assigned after a tumultuous first few weeks. But as fate would have it, she suddenly found herself busier than ever after a chance encounter with an old friend.
No matter how many times Max fantasized about meeting Chloe again over the years, she was wholly unprepared for the real thing. She’d been in high spirits that day, finally getting one over on Victoria when Mr. Jefferson praised Max’s photography assignment in front of the rest of the class, having earlier chastised the blonde’s uncharacteristically poor work. Later she’d been in the middle of explaining her cheerful disposition to Warren when Nathan interrupted them.
Everything happened so fast. Nathan’s irrational and intense anger, his hands on her throat, the headbutt from Warren that released Max from his grasp, and the screeching of tires as a truck nearly plowed through them as she tried to recover. She’d been shocked when she recognized the truck’s driver and wasted no time scrambling through the passenger door once it’d been thrown open. Her heart was still pounding when the questions started.
To say their reunion didn’t go well would be an understatement. Chloe had clearly been holding onto a lot of anger and resentment over the years. Though as Max later found out, her radio silence over the past five years was just one of the many issues Chloe had been dealing with. Max still winces every time she thinks about David Madsen, Chloe’s asshole stepfather, slapping Chloe for smoking weed while she hid in the closet.
“If only I’d stepped out of the closet a few seconds sooner…” Max mutters to herself at the memory.
That had been the end of their reunion. Chloe was understandably upset and wanted to be alone. Max had been reluctant to leave, even after the bluenette shouted at her to do so. She began to wonder if that might be the final time they spoke. She was surprised and relieved several days later when Chloe showed up, knocking on her dorm room door and offering an apology for how she acted.
After a long and very overdue heart to heart, they quickly found themselves falling back into their old banter. Sure they had both changed, especially the punk, but they were still Max and Chloe. They’d become nearly inseparable over the weeks that followed. Hence why she had explicitly told Chloe she couldn’t hang out this weekend until she got caught up on homework. A decision the brunette was now regretting.
The sudden buzzing and ding of her phone next to her nearly caused Max to jump. Her lips curled up in a smile as she saw a text from Chloe and quickly unlocked her phone.
Chloe: Maxie Max
Chloe: u still up
Max: No rest for the wicked
Max: What’s up?
Chloe: please Maxorz
Chloe: you’d never get into trouble if it wasn’t for me
Max: I’m confused. Which one of us is supposed to be insulted by that?
Chloe: …
Chloe: don’t make me question my life choices
Max: Never.
Max: So, what’s up?
Chloe: right
Chloe: I know u said u needed some space to study this weekend
Chloe: nerd
Max: -_-
Chloe: NO EMOJI!
Chloe: it’s cool if you say no
Chloe: can I crash with u
Chloe: step-douche is being extra douchey
For a moment Max almost tells her no. For like half a millisecond. She was serious about getting caught up on her school work and knows they are likely to stay up late talking as always. But she can’t even think about David without thinking of that slap and how defeated and fragile Chloe looked. She also knows her best friend would just end up sleeping in her truck, in the cold if she turned her away.
Max: Of course
Chloe: good because I’m already down stairs
Chloe: help a sista out and open the door
A small chuckle passes her lips as Max shakes her head, dropping her phone on the stack of books next to the couch as she stands. She quickly pats her clothes down, removing the wrinkles from her shirt before stopping in front of the mirror to fuss with her hair. Y’know, just so I don’t look like a slob, she thinks to herself like she’s trying to convince someone.
Once she’s satisfied that she doesn’t look bad, seriously why does it matter? It’s just Chloe. She opens her door, and quickly makes her way towards the exit, keeping an eye out for light under people’s doors so she doesn’t get caught sneaking Chloe in.
As soon as she opens the front door she’s assaulted with the cold, late October air and a mixture of salty sea air and the distinct smell of cigarettes and cheap deodorant she’s come to associate with her best friend.
“Yo Maxi-” Chloe starts to greet her, raising her arm before the brunette surprises her by practically leaping on her and giving her a tight, lingering hug. “Woah, uh… hi?” She says when the brunette finally releases her.
“Hi,” Max replies, suddenly feeling shy as she backs into the dorms and the bluenette follows. Maybe the hug was a bit much.
“You’ve been pounding the red bulls tonight?”
“Eww, no. Just coffee,” Max adds hastily, thankful that the hall is dark enough to hide her blush.
Upon reaching her room, she lets Chloe in before quietly closing the door to ensure she doesn’t draw any attention from anyone that might still be up. When she turns around, Chloe has her back to her as she pulls her jacket off, revealing her usual tattered tank top. Max can’t help but notice how the punk’s clothes frame her body in a very flattering way as her cheeks flush with warmth. Maybe studying literally all day has driven me a bit crazy.
“Kate got a new kettle, so she gave me her old one,” Max says, quickly turning to her closet when Chloe turns around. “Do you want some coffee or tea?”
“Ooh, look at you getting all fancy and formal,” Chloe teases as she plops down on the couch. “I don’t want to keep you up all night since I know you need to study, so tea sounds good.”
“Coming right up,” Max replies, earning a small chuckle as she prepares a mug for her friend. “Do you want to talk about what happened?”
Chloe sighs behind her before answering. “Not much to talk about. Just Sgt. Asshat having an extra large stick up his ass today. I already worked out my frustration with some junkyard golf. Just didn’t want to go back to the house tonight y’know.”
Max turns around as the tea steeps and gives the bluenette a concerned look. “He didn’t try to…” She starts but can’t bring herself to say the word. Chloe picks up on her meaning anyways and shakes her head, unable to hold Max’s gaze.
Silence falls between them for several minutes before Max grabs the mug. Setting the tea down on the small table next to where Chloe’s sitting, Max bends over in order to pick up her mess of books on the floor so she can join her friend on the couch. However, the blood rushing to her head causes it to throb painfully, reminding her of the forgotten headache.
“You okay?” Chloe asks, her voice full of concern as she reaches out, ready to catch the small brunette.
“Yeah,” Max answers, digging the palm of her hand into her temple. “My head just started hurting before you texted me.”
“Only you could hurt yourself by thinking too much, Caulfield.”
“You’re such an ass,” Max counters as she giggles along with her friend. Unfortunately, the laughter causes another spike of pain to erupt beneath her skull and she winces again.
“Come here.” Chloe takes the shorter girl’s hand and pulls her down onto the couch before scooting all the way to one side and patting her lap.
Max just stares down at Chloe’s thighs and her words get stuck in her throat. “W-what?”
“Lay down,” Chloe commands like it should be obvious.
“W-why?” Max asks, suddenly feeling nervous.
“Dude, just come here.” Chloe chuckles as she reaches around Max’s shoulder and gently guides her so her head is resting in her lap.
“C-chloe..! W-what are you-” Max practically yelps, her cheeks turning red as she feels the side of her face pressing against the other girl’s thighs.
“Relax,” Chloe commands again as she begins applying gentle pressure to the brunette’s temples.
It only takes a few circular motions for Max’s eyes to flutter closed and a small moan to escape her lips. “That feels really good,” Max comments as her neck and shoulders release tension she didn’t realize she was carrying and her headache begins to subside.
“I’ve had some practice,” Chloe comments. “Rachel used to get bad migraines.”
Max manages to open her eyes just enough to see the far away look in the girl’s normally vibrant eyes. Their position makes it hard for Max to reach out a comforting hand, but she manages to gently cup the bluenette’s cheek. Chloe seems to return to the present and turns her eyes down to meet her gaze with a small smile. Max feels her other fingers join in, running through her hair and massaging her scalp as she practically melts into the punk’s hands.
That smile is the last thing she remembers before falling asleep. Chloe is already gone by the time she wakes up the next morning.
Max fidgets nervously as she sits on the old car seat. Her hands wring themselves over and over as she worries her bottom lip between her teeth. The high energy punk music blasting out of a small speaker in the corner of the cinder block shack isn’t helping her relax either. “Are you sure it’ll be fine?”
Chloe looks up from her spot on the ground as she pauses in her work and studies the brunette for a moment. “Max seriously, you look like you need this.” She replies before reaching out and separating the brunette’s hands. “Chillax girl. If you don’t want to try it then don’t. No pressure.”
Deep blue eyes like the ocean stare back into a pair of beautiful sapphires as Max feels her hands being squeezed. She takes a deep, calming breath and nods her head, her lips curling into a smile as those beautiful sapphires stare back at her. “I want to try it.”
“Atta girl,” Chloe says gleefully as she releases the brunette’s hands and returns to her work. “But seriously Max, I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to.”
“Bring on the doobie stick!” Max proclaims, trying to boost her own confidence. Chloe nearly falls over in laughter. It’s such an amazing sound it makes Max’s stomach do somersaults and her cheeks flush as she joins in the laughter. I could listen to her laugh all day and never get tired of hearing it.
“You are such a dork,” Chloe says once she’s recovered enough to speak.
“You’re the dork,” Max fires back lamely.
Chloe just shakes her head without looking up from her work. “Whatever dweeb.”
“Geek.”
“Hippie.”
“Stoner.”
“Not really an insult, photo nerd.”
“Punk.”
“Punks are cool,” Chloe retorts as she finishes her task and meets the brunette’s gaze. “And nerds are hot,” she adds with an eyebrow wiggle that sends a fresh flush to Max’s cheeks.
“You’re ridiculous,” the younger girl states as she looks away, hoping her blush isn’t noticeable.
“And that’s why you love me.” The punk states confidently as she sits on the makeshift couch next to her, placing the joint between her lips.
Yeah, I kind of do. Max admits to herself. Dog, I am in so much trouble.
Chloe cups one hand around the joint as she sparks her lighter and takes a hit. After holding the smoke in for several seconds, she slowly breathes it out. Max watches her the entire time. She then holds the joint out to the brunette. “Are you sure you want to try it?”
Not trusting herself enough to speak, the brunette simply nods before reaching out for the joint. Chloe leans in slightly. “Just hold it between your lips like it’s a straw and suck, but not too much. Try to hold the smoke in for a couple seconds before letting it out.”
“O-okay.” Max does as she is told but barely manages to inhale the smoke before she starts coughing. Chloe deftly takes the joint away before the brunette drops it and immediately starts rubbing her back. “You’re okay, just cough it out. Happens to everyone their first time smoking.” She picks up one of the water bottles from the makeshift table and hands it to the smaller girl once she stops coughing. “You good?”
“Yeah,” Max breathes out after taking a big chug of water. “It tastes gross though, is it always like this?”
The bluenette shrugs, as she takes a drag of the joint. “You get used to it,” she says as she breathes the smoke out. “Do you want to try again?”
Max hesitates for a second before nodding. “May as well do it right.”
“Take a smaller hit this time,” Chloe advises as she hands the joint back to Max. “And don’t inhale it all the way.”
On her second try, Max is actually able to hold the smoke in for a couple seconds before a small cough causes her to sputter it out. But she at least manages not to have another fit. It’s not until she hands the joint back to Chloe that she realizes both their lips have been on the joint. The thought makes her blush slightly and she’s glad that Chloe has closed her eyes as she reclines next to her.
She coughs again on her third hit, but she can tell it’s already getting easier. “So when should I start feeling it?” She asks after passing the dwindling joint back.
“Probably pretty soon. It won’t take much since it’s your first time, you should start feeling yourself just kind of, relax.”
“I’m not gonna freak out right?” Max asks nervously as she takes one last hit of the dying joint before Chloe crushes it on a soda can.
“Don’t worry, Maxipad, I made sure Frank gave me a mellow strain.”
The brunette’s brow furrows as she smacks the bluenette’s shoulder. “Gross. Don’t ever call me that again.”
The punk laughs at her expression and the sound washes away any semblance of annoyance Max may have had. “Okay, sorry, Maxine.”
“You know,” Max starts a few minutes later as she settles back and slouches next to her best friend. “You’re the only one that can use my full name and not make me hate it. I mean, I still hate it. But it sounds good when you say it. You know what I mean?”
“And we have liftoff ladies and Gentlemen,” Chloe teases, earning a shove from the brunette.
“Fine, I take it back, never use my full name again.”
Chloe struggles to suppress a laugh as she watches the other girl’s exaggerated attempt at pouting. “Aww, c’mon, don’t be like that Maxie Max. Maximus. Max Attack. Super Max. Max Effect. Maximum pout.” The brunette snorts with laughter at the last name, breaking her pout.
For a while their giggles fill the shack and drown out the rest of the world. No photography projects, Math finals, or douchey step-fathers to worry about. No missing friend slash lover slash who even knows. No five year gap without a single text or call. Just the two of them, together.
Max releases a pleasant hum and starts to lay down, pulling her legs up beside her as she lays her head in Chloe’s lap. “Oh, hello there,” Chloe says in surprise as the brunette buries half her face in her thighs.
“Mmmph, warm and soft.”
“Yeah… okay,” Chloe giggles awkwardly, not really sure how to handle the situation. “Well I guess now we know you get cuddly when you’re high.”
The music is forgotten as they sit, or in Max’s case, lay, together. Chloe’s fingers idly run through the brunette’s hair, scratching her scalp and earning the occasional pleased hum from the girl in her lap. Her voice is soft and sweet when she whispers a single desire.
“Maxine.”
“Cheers to being done with finals,” Max says as she holds up a slice of pizza.
“Hella yes girl,” Chloe answers excitedly as she holds up her own slice, bumping it against the brunette’s. Both girls begin laughing as they sit on opposite sides of a pizza box on the floor of Max’s dorm, a couple suitcases sitting in the corner. “I don’t understand how you can eat that though.”
“What?” Max asks in mock offense. “It’s the same pizza.”
“Except your half has broccoli on it. Gross dude.”
“It’s not gross. You haven’t even tried it,” Max counters.
“And until hell freezes over, I never will.”
Max turns to look out the window. The sun went down long ago but the lights in the courtyard illuminate the falling snow. “Well, it is snowing,” the brunette starts before turning her attention back to the punk. “And we’re in Blackhell as you call it.”
Chloe stops before taking another bite as her eyes go wide. “No.” The girl across from her gives her a mischievous smirk as she slowly leans forward, holding her pizza out. “No.”
“Hell’s frozen over Chloe, time to taste the awesome!”
“Keep that away from me Max,” Chloe pleads as she drops her pizza back in the box and leans away.
The brunette circles around the pizza box as she moves in closer. “Taste it,” she says before bursting into a fit of giggles along with her friend as she tries to force feed the punk.
“Never!” Chloe cries out in defiance, pushing the other girl’s slim hand away and causing her to lose her grip on the food. The slice of pizza lands somewhere on the floor behind them as Max loses her balance and topples over on top of Chloe. “God damnit Max,” the bluenette barely manages to get out between fits of laughter.
It takes several minutes for the two of them to stop laughing and untangle themselves. They lay side by side as they catch their breath, their faces mere inches apart. Brilliant sapphires staring back into a deep blue sea. Max notices Chloe’s eyes flick down briefly and her mouth feels dry. She licks her lips as time seems to stop for Max and her heart thumps in her ears. Her eyelids become heavy and she starts to lean forward. She’s thought about this moment for weeks, ever since she realized her feelings for her best friend had become something more. As her eyes all but close and she inches forward-
“I gotta pee,” Chloe blurts out suddenly.
And the spell is broken. The moment ruined.
“Y-yeah. Of course,” Max replies dumbly as she starts to sit up.
“Of course?” Chloe asks, giving the photographer a funny look.
“I mean, go ahead. You know where it is.”
“Right,” the bluenette states as she stands to leave the room.
Max shuffles back around to lean against her couch and waits for the door to close before burying her head in her hands. “Oh my god, you’re so stupid Max,” she says to no one but herself as she deflates, her heart sinking in her chest. “Were you really just going to kiss her without knowing how she’ll react? Chloe’s way out of your league and clearly still in love with Rachel, of course she’s not interested in you like that.”
A small sniffle escapes as she takes a deep breath, fighting back the tears that are forming. She’ll have the next couple weeks to cry and mope around. Right now she needs to pull herself together before Chloe comes back. “If she doesn’t just take off, that is.”
She’s not aware of how much time actually passes, but it feels like hours by the time she calms herself enough to start picking at a slice of pizza. It’s gone cold and tastes like cardboard, but she used the credit card her parents gave her for emergencies, so she doesn’t want to waste it.
She’s already resigned herself to a night alone, so she nearly jumps in surprise when the door opens and Chloe steps in.
“I went for a smoke. Hope you didn’t eat all the pizza,” Chloe says, sounding way more cheery than Max is prepared for. The punk plops back down in her spot across the pizza box and picks up a slice. She takes a bite before speaking again. “It sounds like that party in the gym is kicking off. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather go to that instead?”
The brunette shakes her head. “I’m not really interested in a big party. I’ve had enough stress this week without trying to fit into a crowd. And it’s the Vortex Club so you know Victoria and her minions will be there.”
“Alright, a night in it is.” Chloe says before taking a bite of pizza and standing up. She walks over to the HiFi on the shelf above Max’s bed and begins digging around her CD collection. “Doesn’t mean we can’t still have a party of our own.” Selecting a CD she’d given Max, she pops it in and hits play. A fast beat begins playing through the speakers as the taller girl turns around and starts dancing. “C’mon Max, drop that abomination you call pizza and shake that boney white ass.”
Max can’t help but laugh, weakly at first, but more as the punk reaches down to take her hands and help her to her feet. Her heart feels a little bit lighter when Chloe smiles at her, swinging her arms around.
“No one asks me for dances because I only know how to flail.
I always hit like I’m drowning, dead arms around him.
I’d rather stand still, hold tightly to the walls.
No care, no care in the world.”
Soon her laughter grows stronger as Max moves about, following Chloe’s lead like a marionette. Each beat of the drums and sway of the hips improves Max’s mood a little bit. Her heart still aches but it becomes dull when she’s having so much fun with the woman she’s fallen for.
It takes a couple songs for Max to realize just how close Chloe has gotten to her as they dance. Her blush would be obvious when Chloe places her hands on her hips and locks eyes with her if she wasn’t already flushed from the exertion. It’s only for a moment, but something in the punk’s eyes makes her heart skip a beat and lights a fire in her. She’s almost thankful when Chloe tries to spin her around, but Max being Max, she trips over her own feet and nearly falls. A strong yet slender arm catches her and helps steady her before she hears that laugh she loves so much.
“Damn Caulfield, how do you not have bruises from falling all the time?” Chloe asks as she helps steady the brunette and removes her arm. By unspoken consent, they both sit back down on the floor, Max chugging down some water before speaking.
“You suck, I’m not that clumsy,” Max protests but falters when Chloe raises an eyebrow. “Okay, maybe a little bit.”
“Good thing you’ve got me to stick around and make sure you don’t hurt yourself too bad.” Chloe says in that cocky way of hers. Only Max can see right through her.
“Right, like that’s the only reason you stick around.”
“Well that. And without me you would just be sitting here, eating gross pizza all by yourself.”
The comment strikes a nerve in Max and her playful smirk quickly vanishes, replaced by a deep frown as her eyes drop to the floor.
“Shit. Max,” Chloe reaches out, placing her hand on top of the other girl’s. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“You’re right though,” the brunette replies as she struggles to meet the other girl’s eyes. “If you hadn’t shown up like you did that day… I don’t know if I ever would have found the courage to go into town and face you.”
“Of course you would have. And it’s a small town, we would have bumped into each other sooner or-”
“No Chloe,” Max interrupts her. “I spent the entire first month I was here hiding in this room. I went five years without contacting you or returning your texts. What would have been one more?”
“Maxine.” Chloe moves to sit next to the brunette and wraps an arm around her shoulders. “C’mon, we’ve been over this. We ran into each other, and now we’re back in action. None of that other shit matters. Besides, I pretty much forgave you the moment I saw you again. So stop beating yourself up”
Max leans her head on Chloe’s shoulder and the bluenette responds in kind, burying a small kiss in the nest of chestnut hair. Music continues to play through the old stereo as they sit in silence. Eventually Max relaxes and sits up straight again.
“You good?” Chloe asks.
“Yeah, thanks Chloe.”
“Good, then help me finish this hipster pizza so we can have a movie marathon.” The punk nudges Max, earning a small chuckle for her trouble.
Max manages to stay awake through the first movie. When the credits roll, they agree to swap into the sleep wear and take care of their nightly routines before starting Bladerunner for their 100th viewing. They even take bets on who will fall asleep first as they settle down on Max’s small twin-sized bed to watch it. Not even an hour later, with Max’s head resting in Chloe’s lap in what’s become their usual late night viewing position, she starts to feel her eyes grow heavy.
She rouses slightly when Chloe moves around but keeps her eyes closed. The sound of a soft thump means Chloe must have moved the laptop out of the way. She feels fingers in her hair, massaging her scalp gently. But still she keeps her eyes closed, enjoying the sensation.
Max thinks she’s nodded off again when she hears Chloe’s voice, soft and low, barely even a whisper.
“I’m so glad you’re back Max.”
She thinks about answering, but can’t decide if she’s in a dream or not so she stays quiet.
“Y’know, Rachel tried to convince me that I had a crush on you when we were teens. I thought it was just some dumb childhood awkwardness. Or maybe I just really missed the best friend I grew up with. But then I saw you again. And fuck you got cute while you were in Seattle.”
Max can feel heat rise to her cheeks but she’s too afraid to move or respond in case she wakes up.
“I wanted to kiss you so badly earlier, but I don’t want to risk losing you again. I’m scared you’re going to return to Seattle tomorrow and not come back.”
It might barely be a whisper, but the vulnerability and uncertainty in her voice screams for Max to say something. She opens her eyes and startles Chloe as she sits up. There’s just enough light coming from the lanterns above her bed to read the panicked expression on the punk’s face.
“M-Max?”
“Chloe.” She looks into those eyes she loves so much and sees something in them she can’t believe she didn’t see before. Something meant only for her.
“Um… Y-you uh… didn’t hear any of that did you?”
“Every word,” Max answers as she leans in slowly. She reaches a hand up to cup her cheek as she leans closer. Even in the dim light, she can see Chloe’s blush. And oh my dog, Chloe’s actually blushing. “I promise I’m coming back, I don’t ever want to lose you again either. I’ve thought about kissing you for a while, Chloe.”
They’re only inches apart now. Max can feel Chloe’s breath on her face. Her eyes flick down to Chloe’s slightly parted lips before returning to her eyes, looking for permission.
“Are you sure you want this Max?”
And she sounds so nervous, but her voice is also tinged with anticipation.
“I want you, Chloe.”
Her lips are chapped but warm, and softer than Max could have imagined. She tastes like mint, with a hint of pizza sauce and cigarettes. And it’s the greatest thing she’s ever tasted.